Sara's Joey - 1. Chapter 1

Sara’s Joey

Joe Powell woke up late for work on a windy, cold fall morning. It had rained during the night, the leaves had fallen off the trees making the lawn a colorful and soggy mosaic of color. This morning, he didn’t have time to kiss his wife goodbye or check on his daughter, he didn’t even have time to start the coffee machine. Late nights at the office all week working on projects was the cause of his rush. He had always been career oriented, but after the birth of his daughter five years ago, he started taking more time away. The advertisement company he worked for though, was expanding and taking on new things and it kept him away from home. It was something else that was weighing on his mind. He missed his daughter’s first day of school already and her birthday was just around the corner and he had yet to buy her a present.

Sighing Joe locked the door and gently closed it behind him. He looked around at the mess of leaves, knowing his wife Miranda would be out raking them. She had to pick up the slack around the house, doing his normal chores. He thought she had enough to do throughout her days as a housewife, now his burdens were on top of them.

Hearing his doors unlock, he opened the back door and placed his jacket and laptop in the seat, starting his long drive to the office. Glancing at his watch he knew he would be in trouble, late again. It made his boss unhappy, the promotion he had just received could easily be taken away, something that wouldn’t really upset Joe, he had wanted less responsibility and more free time since taking the promotion. The money was good though and Miranda was pregnant with their second child. The house was too small and they had plans to move into a larger house after Christmas.

With his thoughts not on the road, Joe didn’t see the eighteen wheeler miss the stop sign, it had tried to stop, but it was too late it was already out in the middle of the road. He slammed on his breaks, but the wet oily road didn’t allow him any time to stop. The last thing that Joe saw was the airbag slamming into his face.

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Miranda was fixing breakfast for Lily before waking her up for school. It had been a rough transition getting Lily prepared for kindergarten. She was finally starting to settle into the routine of not seeing her daughter for eight hours a day and no longer worrying about her days at school. Lily had made some friends and Miranda liked hearing about them every afternoon after picking her up. Looking outside she saw the dreary morning and thought about Joe, how stressed he seemed to be lately. He had always been playful and attentive at home, a family man, her mother had called him. Like he was made to build a loving family. She reached down involuntarily and stroked her stomach, smiling and hoping that Joe’s stress will go away in time. That he will return to the loving husband, that would sneak up and place a playful nibble on her neck. It always sent chills through her body and she’d smile and elbow him in the stomach. It was something she actually missed, her skin started to tingle thinking about it.

Lost in thought, the phone ringing made her jump and drop the spatula on the floor. She neglected it for now wondering who would be calling this time of morning. The cold, unfamiliar voice said her name, at first she thought it was a salesman, but when the deep voice announced himself as Sheriff Donald Sunders, her heart began to race and she had to clutch the phone with both hands to keep from dropping it. When she told the man on the other line that she was Miranda Powell, that he had the right house, she felt herself going numb as the Sheriff started to explain how her husband was killed in a car accident barely a mile away from home.

Things seemed to go by in a numbing blur for Miranda after the phone call. She turned off the stove, food barely cooked. Then took what seemed like the longest walk in her life to Lily’s bedroom. Lily was due to be awake at any time and it didn’t surprise Miranda when she entered to see her curly brown haired daughter sitting up in her bed, waiting for her. Lily was all smiles and sleepy eyes when Miranda walked further into the room. She jumped off the bed and ran to her mother, grabbing at her waist for a hug that Miranda didn’t return. When Lily stopped, wondering why her Mom was so rigid, Miranda knelt and looked her in the eyes. Lily had Joe’s dark brown eyes and when Lily studied her mother’s expression became worried, the smile being replaced with a frown.

“Lily baby,” Miranda started, her voice distant and weak. “I have something to tell you about Daddy, he was in a car accident, and this morning an Angel took him to heaven.”

Even in her youth Lily understood what her mother was saying. Unlike Miranda she didn’t feel numb, just lost in tears as they began to run down her cheeks. It was then that Miranda held Lily, dragging her down with her so they were both sitting on the floor, the soft carpet held little comfort as they both cried. She tried to calm Lily, by rocking her, but it was useless as her own body was shaking from the sobs and nervous convulsions in her stomach.

Later that day Miranda dressed Lily and dropped her off with her parents as she began to plan the funeral. Joe’s parents kept her focused enough to arrange it as well as possible, but it was something that Miranda wasn’t strong enough to do as she would never get over Joe. He had been the only honest and lasting love of her life. They didn’t really have an engagement, they were married not long after they started dating. Usually that kind of love didn’t last, but theirs had grown stronger. Now she was lost and it would take time to find herself again, but she didn’t have time not really. She had a baby on the way, a boy and Lily who needed her more than ever.

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At first he didn’t know what was happening; all he felt was a warmth that he couldn’t explain. Then an overwhelming pressure and urge to breathe, but he couldn’t as something he couldn’t explain was blocking his mouth and nose. He also couldn’t open his eyes, but behind his eye lids he saw the orange glow of light.

A few minutes later the warmth resided with the pressure. A tearing sounded in his ears, his acute hearing seemed new to him and when he opened his eyes all he saw was the light entering the cramped place he was now in. Something was also nuzzling and sending hot air over his lower half. Then it was gone and he could hear foot steps all around him, each hand seeming to grab him at once and continue to free him from the wet membranous substance covering his body.

When he felt the urge to stand up he looked around and realized that he had four legs to function and they were underneath him. After a few attempts he got his front feet oriented in front of him and pushed the front half of his body off the ground. Trying to stand it seemed wrong, like something other than him was guiding him, but still yet something was wrong with this body. Like this one wasn’t his first and how different it was from the one he had in his past. His heart started racing as he fought with his back end, his legs were wobbly and he fell to his side, but each time the muscles were starting to become stronger.

Then he heard voices and stopped what he was doing. He looked around and saw behind a large gray wooden gate, two men accompanied by a woman holding a blond haired little girl. They were all smiles, looking at him as he tripped over his long legs. His head also felt heavy, but the urge to stand kept him from relaxing too long and when he noticed them watching the size difference startled him. The thudding hooves beside him also seemed to be getting closer, and when a large head came into view, licking his light furred skin, then it nudged him off the straw floor. Against the wall he was finally able to stand and clapping could be heard. Then someone entered the stall and forced him to stand and walk towards the horse. The smell of milk invaded his nostrils and his stomach churned with hunger. Instincts foreign to him came into play and he suckled the bitter sweet milk for the first time.

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It got easier as time passed. His legs no longer gave him trouble and he learned to run a few hours after those first tentative, awkward steps. Now him and what he came to realize was his mother, stayed in a large open barn filled with sand so that he could stretch his legs. In the back of his mind though, he still felt lost in his body. He accepted the change as it was right in front of him, but still something alluded him. Something he knew was important to him, but he didn’t know when it had been, since his life was still pretty new. There were also things always tugging at his mind. The urge to drink and listen to his mother’s grunts and snorts as they all seemed to tell him what to do. She was at ease most of the time only anxious when one of the men he didn’t know came in to look at him.

In the short time he’s been alive he’s met a lot of people. It was difficult to keep track, but he knew the person in bright, seemingly white clothes meant he was going to be poked and prodded. It was a time that his mother felt the most anxious as Joe, as he has been named by the little blonde haired girl, would scream out in protest. It was driven instincts that made him fear being taken away from his mother during these short times. She would be silenced with hay and treats while he was taken into a back room. His body would be rubbed, feeling for anything wrong. He would be given a sweet tasting vitamin. After the first two weeks, the shots stopped, the warm stinging sensation caused him to kick and scream out, it had sent his mother running towards his stall, but now the hands were gentle and the exam didn’t last long at all.

His favorite two people to see though, was the little blonde girl that called him Joe and her older brother. She would run at him with reckless abandon. The first few times he ran from her not able to control the urge to be afraid. Now that she learned to walk where he could see her, he welcomed her and her brother. She would hug him, call him sweet Joe, then she would give him a sugar cube in her small hand that he would take and chew on. The boy would stand beside his boisterous sister and rub the itchy spots between Joe’s ears. Joe would lean into his soft fingers welcoming the massage. They would both talk to him and he understood what they were saying, but couldn’t respond to them. It surprised him that he could, since his mother seemed to have a difficult time with it. It made him feel closer to the human visitors, aside from the guy in white that hardly ever talked, just poked and prodded.

He would feel lonely after they left for school, but they would both come see him afterwards and they would play until summoned from their mother to come in for dinner and homework. He would take this time to nap and suckle from his mother until their father, his owner would come in from a long day and visit. He was a soft spoken man with callused hands. They were heavy when he stroked Joe’s neck and back, but the man seemed proud of Joe’s growth and progress and even accepted the simple name his daughter had given him.
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At night was the worst parts of his life, Joe would dream, mostly confusing nightmares that left him confused in the quiet times of his day when he had time to think. He remembered a talkative, but gentle woman. She would greet him every morning and every night with a kiss. He would talk to her at night before bed, but it seemed like so much was left unsaid between them as he felt too tired to tell her everything.

Then he would be playing with a brown haired, dark eyed little girl. He wasn’t himself though, always a human man. His dreams were filled with places he didn’t know, but felt he should. Voices belonging to people he didn’t know, but felt he could recognize in a crowded room full of talking strangers.

In the morning he would hate waking for a short time. He missed and longed for these people in his dreams, like they were once part of him. Like remembering a past life that didn’t end when it should have. He was still a young adult, his daughter barely older than the bouncing blond curls of his master’s daughter. The person he come to think of as his mate or darling, as his master called his wife, seemed too far away, even in parts of his dreams where they would be sleeping side by side. There was also a disturbing feeling every time he would look at his wife and catch her clutching her stomach in a protective and subtle admiring sort of way. Like something was in there. Dreaming about his unborn child caused him to wake every time. He would have to look around and remember that it was now sand that he slept on and not a bed. That his wife, daughter, and unborn son as it always was a boy in his dreams, were out there somewhere with out him.

He began to wonder what happened to him as he never dreamed about how he ended up here now. He just came to realize that this wasn’t his first life. That the life in his dreams was where he was at one time. He didn’t know how long ago that was though, for some reason time didn’t register with him at all. His life was now governed by people instead. They came and went routinely, he knew it was morning when his master’s children would come in and say hello and give him treats. It was mid morning when the vet would come and take him away from his mother for a short period of time and night when his master would come check on him. It never failed to work like that, but this new life wasn’t boring.

He had all these things to learn about it. After the shaky start on his new legs, his sense of smell was strong. He could smell individual smells and follow them as far as the large open barn would allow. He learned the sweet smell of hay differed from the smell of straw. That sugar had a smell that wasn’t sweet, but left a sweet taste in his mouth before he nibbled it out of the young girl’s hand. Colognes and perfumes made his nostrils burn and they didn’t smell inviting or pleasant to him now. He could also hear voices well before the people came into view. His vision was strange, he could see more behind his head than just in front of his nose. Things would disappear there and he would have to nuzzle to find what he wanted to taste or touch. His hooves were soft when he was born, he could feel the differences, the warmth of the straw and the cool, grainy feeling of the sand. Now though, they were hardened as he grew older. Now he could only feel the differences in texture. Sand seemed to slow him down and made his legs heavy and fatigued before the straw bedding of his old stall. It built his muscles though, and he began to think that was the purpose of this barn he was now living his days in. It was large enough for him to really stretch his legs and run circles around his mother that paid little attention to him as she fed on grain, a maple syrup and grainy smell that he didn’t really care much for, but investigated when it first came into the barn.

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Joe’s life continued like that until one day the gates to the barn were left open. He had grown a lot in the barn and his mother paid less and less attention to him. She also only allowed him a few times a day to eat now. She would nudge him away with her back legs or smack him in the face with her tail. It had forced him to start trying the more unreasonable food choices left in a small orange pale, identical to the larger one his mother had. The grain was sweet and the hay tickled his nose, but he nibbled on both between meals to satisfy his hunger.

The sun and warmth coming from the open gates seemed to call to his mother as well and she looked impatient when he hesitated at the entrance of the barn. She grunted and neighed a few times, but when she turned the corner and went out of sight, the overwhelming urge to follow her forced his tentatively out into the sun.

The ground was cool and moist and the air escaped his lungs in clouds that disappeared a few feet away as he looked around. It was morning and he had expected the girl and boy to visit him any moment now, but they were nowhere in sight. He worried that he would miss their visit, and importantly, the small cube of sugar the blonde haired girl would have for him. It surprised him though, when he looked and saw the small family waiting for him and his mother on the other side of a field. Seeing them he took off in a full run with his mother thundering beside him. She bucked and stretched her legs for the first time since his birth and living in the barn and he liked this side of her even if he didn’t understand her anymore.

It was the human voices that he longed to hear and they didn’t disappoint him when he reached the gate and the girl climbed the metal and landed on the other side. She stroked his neck and he took notice that he now stood taller than her and her hands felt smaller and gentler to him now than it did. It was the first time he noted the change, but he knew he was growing faster than her and the boy that he now stood eye to eye with. His skin also itched more and he welcomed the metal brush raking loose hairs off his back and places he couldn’t reach with his feet and mouth.

“You’ll like it out here Joe,” the blonde haired girl said as she handed him another sugar cube she had stashed in her pocket. “It’s spring time.”

“Come along Sara,” her mother beckoned, “it’s time for the school bus, you don’t want to miss it again.”

“Ok,” Sara said turning to glance at her mother before turning back to him, “I’ll see you after school.”

She gave him another sugar cube before she turned and climbed the gate and followed her mother and brother back into the house. It was then he noticed his master, Sara’s father holding a dark colored thing in his hands. When he was joined by two other men that he hadn’t really seen before they opened the gate and walked into the field. One man took hold of his mother while another reached out for Joe, who backed away not knowing what they were doing. They were more agile though and was able to back him against the closed gate and grab him around the neck, holding him while his master tugged and fastened a light weight and soft feeling thing around his face.

“Good boy,” his master whispered and handed him a sugar cube, the smell and sweet taste calmed Joe, it was something he was familiar with and almost made him forget the halter on his face until he tried to back away from the men and return to his mother and found that he couldn’t. The men had hold of a rope that was attached to his halter, the gate was open again and he was being dragged out of it. Bucking and kicking only made him slip on the wet and soggy ground and he jumped when the gate slammed shut behind him. His mother finally paid attention to what was happening and started running beside the fence as he was being led against his will down the road parallel to the field he was just in.

After a few yards his mother settled to walk beside the fence, which gave Joe a little comfort, he could still see her. The urge to be near her though was starting to feel more foreign to him as he got older. His dreams at night seemed to drive him to try and understand the humans in his life. They weren’t really talking though, so he didn’t understand what was going on until they came to another gate, which one man opened and he was led into it. It was a second opening to the field with his mother and when he was in, he felt the rope release from his halter and he was free again. He realized that they were trying to teach him to walk with a halter and rope, where they wanted him to go. To them he was just another young horse, but Joe knew that he wasn’t. He wanted to try and make them understand that, but knew he couldn’t. They didn’t know him in his past life, they wouldn’t know any characteristics that were beginning to blur in his dreams.

His dreams scared him more now than they did when he was younger for that reason. Nothing new happened. His wife stayed pregnant and his daughter never aged. He knew that could never happen, but he couldn’t visualize anything new. The same conversations happened with his wife and daughter every night. He would tell his daughter the same bedtime story, she would fall asleep at the same part. He knew these were more than dreams, but his memories didn’t ever run wild. Didn’t ever go back before he met his wife or had his daughter in his life. He came to realize over the past months that it was all recent, the rest was somehow lost. He feared that he would lose what was left of his past life and in turn stop understanding the people he most understood now.

His mother let him nurse for awhile as she nibbled on the first grass sprouts of spring. She seemed happy to finally be out of the barn. This time she ran circles around him as he was too tired to join her. When the sun warmed the ground he lied down on it, feeling the softness of the ground. It was completely different than the sand that moved and mounded under his body. The soft grass made him sleep deeper and he didn’t dream for the first time since his birth.

Being outside also brought on a lot more smells and sounds that weren’t part of his life in the barn. He could smell dead apples left over from last summer. They burned his nose worse than his master’s wife’s perfume and Sara’s shampoo. When he tasted one he spat it out on the ground, his mother then nudged him away from the large apple tree in the middle of their field and towards the small pond. She showed him how to bend and drink water, it was something Joe never did, but he wanted to wash his mouth, the rotten taste of the apple was still strong.

The first night scared Joe and it also seemed to make his mother uneasy. She kept him close to her, but he wasn’t going to stray far. He could hear dogs barking in the distance at howling coyotes. The wind whistled and cooed through the trees and caused the limbs to crack and squeak. More than a few times his mother would jump and a few unheard noises and he would have to run to keep up with her. He found that he could see pretty well at night and he looked up at the moon and saw that it was almost full. It wasn’t bright, it would take a few months before he could really see where he was going at night when the moon would be glowing stronger. He didn’t sleep and the night seemed too long and unwelcoming. He wanted to be back in the safety of the barn. The only welcome sight was the moon and stars, but they didn’t comfort him, they were just stars. The only protection he knew he had was his mother and he knew she wasn’t much, she seemed just as scared as he was, but it was for him. She had lived out here before, this was his first night. She knew of the things that could attack in the middle of the night if she let her guard down. They wouldn’t be after her, they would be after Joe. It would be some time yet before he out grew the predators roaming around the large farm.

Morning finally came though and he was waiting at the gate long before Sara came running out of the large house with his morning sugar cubes. She seemed to sense his uneasiness and gave him a few extra before she climbed the gate and left for school. The boy didn’t come see him, he was quiet and he didn’t know his name. It bothered him that he didn’t, it wasn’t something he would have to struggle with if he was still human. They would greet him with their names. It was the first time he didn’t come see him it seemed to make a weird feeling run through him and Joe found himself pacing at the gate until his master came out with the rope. Joe let them lead him around the back yard liking the attention and the chatter of the men who seemed to talk more now that they knew Joe wasn’t nervous about being led around. He finally learned that the master’s name was Rich, the two farm hands named Peter and Jackson. He tried to follow their conversation, but it was filled with too many names belonging to people he had never met. They did lead him longer and took him around the farm it was the most he had seen in a long time and he found himself enjoying the scenery, but it worried him as well. He didn’t recognize anything, no landmarks stood out to him. He felt a rush of sadness when he come to realize he was far away from his past. All he saw now were open fields some with other horses that neighed when they saw him. There were other foals with mothers and a field with adult horses that looked large and powerful. In the dreams of his past he saw small yards and no fences. There were houses beside houses instead of fields and it was fall, leaves covered the ground. Here trees were few and far between with no leaves in sight.

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Not long after he was led outside by his mother Joe was now separated from her completely. He was put back in the barn until Rich was satisfied that he was eating enough hay, vegetables, and grain. Milk was now completely out of his diet and he felt a change coming on. The days were getting longer and his fur was really short. His tail and mane had also grown longer and he no longer dreamed. At first it depressed him. He had liked hearing the voice of his daughter and the laughter of happy times as he played with her. The sweet feeling of being in love tugged on him more though. Miranda was on his mind more through out the day as he waited for his morning routine. Which now included a work out on a large treadmill for an hour trying to build muscle and strengthen his bones he was fed a mixture of vitamins that didn’t smell nor taste good at all.

He grew large on his diet though and he was led back out to his own pasture away from the other horses. It was the closest to the house and he realized that Sara was the one that decided where he was kept as she, now a little taller and thinner around the face still came and gave him sugar cubes now accompanied with apple slices and carrots. The day she brought him a basket full of fruits and vegetables she told him he was now one years old. Joe felt much older than one though, like time had somehow sped up and he was now an adult all over again. She told him that he would be getting shod today and he was thankful of the innocent warning. He also liked that it was now late summer and she stayed with him for longer periods of the day. It kept his mind off his own daughter, even if he did feel guilty about it. She treated him like a horse though, talking quietly and mostly about nonsense, like the grass and the softness of his fur. He would also let her braid wild flowers into his mane. He knew he probably looked ridiculous, but her company was something he needed to pass the day.

The boy, which was named Dennis would come and stay a few times was completely different from his sister still. His hands always found the itchy spots between his ears, but that would be the only place he would scratch. He also wouldn’t talk, but walk around until he found a shaded area and he would lay down, resting his hands behind his head. Joe felt a worry wash over him every time he looked into the eyes of the boy. He never paid Joe much attention when he would nuzzle him or lay down near him under the same shade tree when the days got too hot to do much else. A protective feeling would tug at Joe’s thoughts when Dennis would move or glance at him with those same mysteriously brooding eyes. The first time Dennis had come to see him this summer he thought he had just had a bad day and tried to cheer him up by running and bucking around the field, but that didn’t change the mood of the teenage boy. Then like all the times before Dennis would sigh and sit up, scratch Joe’s head briefly and walk back through the gate and into the house, not waving or looking back like his sister. It looked to Joe as if Dennis was returning to a place he didn’t want to be and that same surge of worry for the boy would wash over him.

That evening Rich came with nails, shoes, and hammer. Sara with an arm full of treats and the farm hands Peter and Jackson on the other side with a rope. Sara made good on her warning this morning, but was there trying to keep Joe’s attention as the three men hovered around him, discussing the safest way to go. Joe involuntarily kicked out when the first man touched his foot and side stepped Rich’s attempt. He knew they wouldn’t give up until he was walking around with four metal shoes on his feet, but the instincts to fight them was battling with the understanding of what was about to happen.

It was Sara that whispered for him to stay calm that distracted him enough for Jackson to grab hold of Joe’s back foot for Rich to measure. When a shoe was picked out, the hammer and nails jarred and tickled through his entire leg, but Rich knew what he was doing and was careful. Joe let them finish their work, which earned him a lot of praise and a few more apples that night.

The night didn’t bother Joe anymore he was now about as large as his mother and the summer moon and stars were bright enough for him to see far past his field. There was also a back light that would flash on when something walked under it, mostly it was a cat or the neighborhood possum. His shoes put a little extra weight on his feet and he tripped a few times until he was used to the new sensation. The tickling feeling also lasted a few hours after they had finished, but the more he walked the less it bothered him and by the time the moon was directly overhead his legs had stopped tickling completely and the shoes were forgotten.

The next day was different, Rich and the family was excited and a grill was pushed out in the back yard along with a few picnic tables and lawn chairs. By the afternoon there were people arriving and food that didn’t smell appetizing to Joe at all was frying on the grill. After everything was in place Sara finally came to visit him with a few apples, but this time she didn’t stay long, only brushing him. She didn’t have any wild stories to tell about some of the people she had met or some other tale about another foal that she visits from time to time. She would always say afterward that Joe was her favorite, which would cause Joe to nuzzle against her shoulder.

It was after the food was gone that Sara came and climbed the gate in a soft pink dress. Her blonde hair was brushed out of the bouncing curls and Joe saw that she was older, something his daughter never did when he dreamed. It made him miss his dreams briefly as he was laying down in the grass enjoying the heat of the summer afternoon. She came and rested beside him, brushing his face with her fingernails, it felt good to Joe so he closed his eyes and was nearly asleep before Sara let out a gasp that startled Joe. He stood as quickly as he could with out hurting her and looked around to see what had alarmed Sara as she had always been calm around him. It was then he saw the large coiled snake in the grass a few feet from where Sara was sitting, she was too scared to move as the tail of the snake began to rattle.

The protective feeling he had for Dennis instantly raged through him for Sara now as well. He thought he would never have to feel protective of the lively and loving girl, but the rattle snake was coiled to strike out, the movement of Joe had alerted the snake, but now it wasn’t looking at him, but at her. Sara let out a scream when Joe pawed the ground beside her, it had caused the rattle snake to turn its attention to Joe though and it lashed out and bit Joe on the knee. The venom stung worse than the needles of his young age, but it gave time for Sara to roll out of the way. Joe pawed at the snake when it recoiled and when the snake struck the knee again Joe jumped back and accidentally knocked Sara to the ground a few feet behind him.

When the snake recoiled for a third time Joe reared on his hind legs and brought both feet down on top of the snake at once. The snake went limp and stopped rattling so Joe turned his attention to Sara, but only earned a hard slap to the face as Rich lashed out at him with his hand. Joe saw the bloody cut on top of Sara’s head, but they had not seen the snake in the grass as they helped Sara to her feet.

“Don’t hit him again Daddy, there’s a snake!” Sara screeched as she rubbed the blood from her eyes. Her Mom was there with a towel trying to stop the bleeding. They all looked at the ground at the same time and saw the dead snake, realizing it was a rattlesnake they all looked up at the large black horse.

All he received for saving Sara’s life was a few pats and scratches, but he didn’t care. They did have to take Sara to the hospital to get stitches and they only left when they explained to her that horses were mostly immune to snake venom. It was a lie though and not long after Sara left Joe’s knee began to swell and the vet was rushed in. He was given a series a shots and his knee was wrapped to keep the swelling at a minimum and the knee stable. Joe was led to a stall and given an intravenous drip through the night. Rich stayed up with Joe that night, sleeping in the barn in front of the stall, but waking frequently to check on him.

It took days for the swelling and pain to ease, but only four little scars was the only evidence left. Sara was more vigilant with him and no longer was angry with her family for lying to her. The bruise that formed on her forehead took a long time to heal and each time it made Joe feel guilty for knocking her to the ground. He had thought she had ran out of harms way, but he should have known she wouldn’t leave him with the rattle snake. He felt a warmth with her and as they both healed she showered him with carrots and other treats, so much so it made his stomach churn, he felt nauseated, it was a first for him as he seemed to eat all the time and never feel completely full. Like his new body was designed around his stomach.

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Life didn’t change for Joe like the seasons around him did until he was a lot bigger. One day he was loaded onto a horse trailer. It was the first time he left the farm behind. Sara wanted to go with him but Rich wouldn’t let her. Joe overheard him telling her that it was time he was to become a horse and not a pet. For a moment Joe thought he would never return to the field behind the large brick house. He feared that he would never see the blond girl with bouncing curls that reminded him so much of the brown haired girl in his nearly forgotten dreams. The boy had also taken a lot of time out of his day to lay under the tree. Even as the seasons changed from warm to cold. It seemed to bring him some sort of peace to escape the house. Joe didn’t know what went on in there, the boy never talked to him like everyone else.

When they arrived Joe quickly realized he was at a race track. He was to be a race horse for Rich and his family. It made him excited, finally getting to do something different. He hadn’t really been ridden though, just led around with a saddle on his back and a bit in his mouth. A bit was something that took a lot of time getting used to. It hurt his teeth when he bit it and when it was pulled it hurt his mouth to strain against the force behind it. Now he just let it lead him, like it was supposed to. He wished he could tell Rich that all that wasn’t needed, that he understood what he was saying and wanted him to do. He was starting to wonder though, why all the other horses around him didn’t seem to share that understanding. He couldn’t think on it too much though before the nightmares began to haunt him over again.

He accepted a long time ago that he was different. To what extreme he didn’t really understand. He liked it though, being able to understand the people around him. The only thing he feared as he grew older, like the nightmares fading, that the rest of it would as well. He would miss the young girl fussing over him and Rich’s proud compliments as he grew larger. It took him a while to get used to the longer legs, but he didn’t trip over himself as much anymore. Running wild in the fields helped him find his feet. Rich was probably waiting for that and now he was dressed in a saddle and bit again. A light weight man with a thick accent jumped on his back. Joe didn’t flinch as the man pulled on the reins expecting a fight, but Joe only stood there and waited to be directed one way or another.

Rich finally told the man to walk Joe around the track and the man did. He did a lot of walking that day, nothing more than a slow trot. Joe wanted to run, feeling the soft dirt under his feet, but when he pushed he felt the reins pull back, causing him to slow again. At the end of the day he was fed hay in a stall. Joe thought he would return to the farm, but he was kept there and introduced to the man that would be his trainer for then next few years. He was a gentle handed man with stern voice. Giving orders that Joe didn’t really understand until the Spanish speaking rider explained it with his feet and hands.

Over the next few days Joe began to miss the field back home and the two younger humans. His muscles and mouth ached as he was trained every day, each day stretching his limits from the day before. He was loaded in the gate, getting used to the bells and whistles around him. The talking and yelling from other trainers on other horses and to listen to the rider on his back over all other noises. Sometimes he was raced against other horses to see how he was coming along. Each new horse was a bit more difficult to beat as the one before it.

Then after a few weeks Sara and Dennis finally was able to visit him. They were excited about some race he was about to be in. They wished him luck, but he wasn’t allowed to visit with them long before he was loaded onto a larger trailer. He took the time to unwind and think on the longer trip. The only way he was able to tell how long he was in the trailer was the sun setting. He was nervous, his large heart was pounding in his broad chest and he hated not being able to move his head around.

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It was dark when they arrived. Joe was led by Rich and his trainer to the stall that would be his home for the next few days. The stalls in the barn were all filled with other horses, most feeling the same restlessness that he did. Joe, for the first time didn’t really understand what was going on. He had never really been around a race track as a human, now as a horse things seemed to happen in a blur.

He was fed by the man that took the time to groom him every day. The man’s hands with the brush weren’t as soft as Sara’s and it made him miss her. He didn’t expect to see her or Dennis at all, not when things had turned into all business around him. He listened as people talked about the other horses. It was their first race as well. He also found out that he was in Louisville, Kentucky. It made his head spin thinking he wasn’t far at all from his human home. Only a few hours away, but it felt like more. He wouldn’t ever be in that place again. He would never see the people that he nearly forgot about. The human understanding in him was fading as he got older. In a few years he would no longer be Joe, but a horse, an animal completely, just like his mother and the other animals around him.

As night fell Rich, Sara, and Dennis came by his stall. Sara had snuck some sugar cubes in her pocket and handed them through the stall door when Rich wasn’t looking. She then opened the stall and stepped inside, taking a brush out of her other pocket and started rubbing it on his back. The soft strokes that scratched the itchy areas on his back and neck felt good and familiar. He found himself relaxing as she started humming a song, leaning closer to his ear so he could hear her. It must have been her favorite song and when Rich called for her to leave the stall she places a small kiss on his strong cheek and left him with one last sugar cube. He wanted to follow her, but she closed the stall door softly behind and looked back at him with her blue eyes full of worry.

It also surprised him when Dennis stepped up to the stall as the voices of Rich and Sara faded away as they left him alone. Being older and able to find his way around the chaos Rich wasn’t as protective of Dennis. Like always Dennis would reach for the spot between his ears and scratch with his fingers for a while. Joe would lean into the teenager’s hand as the itching and stress would leave him. It seemed like the best spot to be scratched.

Dennis surprised Joe again when he opened the stall door and stepped inside with Joe. He rubbed his other hand down Joe’s strong back then turned and leaned against the horse knowing Joe would hold the weight. Like always though, the boy would let out a sigh and close his eyes. Joe was starting to settle into the silence of his small dimly lit stall when Dennis cleared his throat.

“You know Sara talks to you all the time,” Dennis said in a strange whisper. “I don’t get it, it’s not like you understand.”

Joe let a snort escape his nose and Dennis let out a small laugh. Joe turned his head to see the boy smiling a crooked smile that didn’t fit his face. It was probably the first time Joe had seem anything but a brooding frown. The smile though made him look more like a man and more like Rich.

“I guess I can tell you in case you do understand,” he said as he reached up and scratched under Joe’s chin. “I’m leaving soon, I can’t stand living with Dad and Mom anymore, I’ll be eighteen and I get my trust fund, I guess I’m telling you so you know what happened.”

Joe felt the sadness in the boys voice. It was definitely not the voice of a man, but a worried voice of someone that didn’t know things. Things like living on his own or being truly alone. He could tell the boy didn’t really want to leave his family behind, but Joe could sense his unhappiness was driving the decision to leave.

“They don’t understand who I am,” Dennis continued, “that I don’t date girls or have many friends because of who I am. So I need to leave, be around people that do.”

After that Dennis started to leave and Joe involuntarily took hold of the collar of the boy’s shirt and held him. When Dennis turned around Joe noticed him fighting back tears, but they escaped and ran down the boy’s cheeks. Joe let go of the boy and was surprised when he crashed into him wrapping his arms around his head, hugging him. It took time for Dennis to stop crying and calm himself. He shot Joe a smile and a quick wave as he left the stall leaving Joe to worry about the young man again.

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The next day things were chaotic. Joe was fed a light meal then taken out on the track to loosen his muscles from standing in the stall. Then he was given a cool bath and led to an open stall and his head was tied so that he couldn’t escape and wander around. All the other horses soon followed with people rushing around them and examining them. Then it was his turn to be poked by the vet. He had his temperature taken, something that Joe never liked. Rich was pleased after the check up, he was cleared for the race that would take place today.

The jockey arrived with the trainer and they discussed Joe and the game plan. He was thankful that he still understood what was going on around him. He felt relieved when the jockey and trainer left him though. He wanted some time to think about what was going to happen and what he needed to do. He knew he would have to perform well or Rich would lose interest in him. A lot was riding on this first race. It would show people what Joe was capable of and Joe only hoped he was good enough to compete with the other horses around him. He didn’t dare look at any of them as they were tended to and groomed. He didn’t want to see how he compared, it would crush him to see that he was the smallest horse or that one of them looked a lot better than every one of the others.

Like always though Sara bounced into his view and used her soft grooming to calm him. She was talking excitedly about the race and how good she knew Joe would do in it. That she had given Rich money for her to bet on him. Then she playfully scolded him, telling him that he better win, that was the money she was saving up for a long time. Explaining that she had to clean a lot of dishes and scrub a lot of toilets to make the allowance that she was now putting into his race.

Then Dennis came scratched between his ears. It surprised him when Dennis leaned in and whispered that if he won, he would stay and try to work things out with his parents. When Joe snorted Dennis smiled the same crooked and unnatural smile, like he was smiling for the first time in his entire life and the muscles in his face wasn’t used to it.

Dennis had to physically lead Sara away from his stall and it wasn’t long after that the man who groomed him arrived and placed the colorful blanket and small black saddle on his back. Joe finally mustered up the courage to look at his competition, but he didn’t see anything too scary. All the other horses seemed just as excited and nervous. Some of them fought their grooms when they had tried to put the bridle and saddle on. Joe sat still and let the man work around him. His shoes were checked and his hair was brushed. He had warm socks pulled onto his legs and then the trainer and jockey came. The jockey scratched Joe where Dennis usually did then winked before he was helped onto Joe’s strong back by the trainer.

He was led out in line with the other horses. There was a crowd outside the paddock and he saw the flashes of people taking pictures of the horses. Unlike the others he was calm, the clicking and flashes didn’t scare him. He didn’t see Sara or anyone in the parade of people as he was led to the race track. He couldn’t really move his head as the groom and trainer were holding him just in case something did scare Joe, they would have him under control.

The day was warm and clear when Joe and the other horses stepped out onto the race track to the applause and whistles of the crowd. The sun had already dried the dew and was warm on Joe’s back. The jockey bounced up and down, the man light on his back. When he first started training he worried about him, that he would fall in the speeds that Joe ran, but now he didn’t worry, it was the man that kept him from falling and getting hurt. He didn’t know the man’s name, he barely understood what the man was saying with his strong accent.

After a short parade around the track the horses were led to the starting gate. Joe waited his turn and entered quietly. It was just him and the jockey now, the trainer and groom had left him and walked back around the fence to watch the race with Rich and the family somewhere in the stands. Not seeing them made Joe relax. He would worry if he saw them now, worry about disappointing them. Now though he just looked ahead at the track that curved in the distance.

When the last horse was loaded the whistle sounded and the gates released to a thunderous sound that Joe hadn’t really heard before. He kept his feet moving forward though and felt the slight tug on his mouth that kept him from running wild. The jockey had a plan to win the race and Joe was going to let himself be led through out the race by the tug and pull on his mouth. He was in the middle of the horses and wasn’t feeling tired at all. He listened as the other Jockey’s yelled out at one another and at their horses. The jockey on his back also yelled then told Joe to relax and for the first time Joe heard him.

It wasn’t until the last turn that he let the reins relax and when Joe felt the release he sped up his pace. At first he didn’t pass any horses as the track straightened the Jockey moved Joe to the outside of the other horses and Joe finally saw the light of day and the dirt stopped stinging his face. He could breathe clean air and let it fill his large lungs and moved his legs faster, pushing him past the other horses. He heard people yelling, but couldn’t pick out any voices that were familiar in the roar of people, but he propelled himself faster and only let up when he realized he was out in front and was running away from the other horses to the finish line.

He knew when the race was over when his jockey pulled on the reins again and Joe slowed to a fast trot, then down to a walk. He was breathing hard, but he wasn’t tired. His muscles burned from the lack of oxygen that he was trying to replace with each heavy intake of air. He was being patted by the Jockey and for the first time Joe took the time to look around at the people that watched him as he walked by. It was then that a brown haired woman dressed in black caught his attention. It was like he was lapsing back into his nightmares as a foal. The wind was blowing her soft hair and she had a young girl and boy on either side of her. They were both cheering, but the woman was only looking forward with a smile on her face.

It was when the jockey lightly urged Joe to move that he realized he had stopped walking. Instead of walking forward though Joe turned and started walking towards the small family in the crowd of people near the fence. For the first time he ignored the tug of the reins and kept his slow pace. The two kids walked to the fence, leading the way for their mother.

When he arrived he nuzzled the girl’s hair. She had grown, but he could still recognize her from his dreams. The young boy he didn’t know, but realized his name was Joe when Miranda leaned down and picked the small boy up. People took pictures when the little boy hugged Joe as the jockey stepped out of the saddle and onto the ground beside him. Then the girl stroked her fingers through Joe’s mane and he felt himself lean into her hand.

Miranda was tentative at first then reached out her hand and let Joe smell her. He remembered the smell, the sweet vanilla lotion Miranda liked to use was strong and took over his sense of smell that triggered his memories in a way that even his nightmares hadn’t. He remembered her and that made his heart race again.

“Come along kids, he has to go,” Miranda said as she put down the young boy and took his hand. When she was turning Joe leaned forward, feeling the fence against his chest at he nibbled Miranda’s neck carefully with his lips. He watched as she involuntarily moved her elbow back and nudged him with it. The nibble had surprised Miranda and she had stopped and turned quickly to stare at Joe with wide eyes. It took time as the two stared at one another for Miranda to blink and break the stare. As she walked away Joe let her leave and only perked his ears when she turned her head one last time to look at him. Then he turned and let himself be taken up by the celebration of the people around him.