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    jkeele777
  • jkeele777
  • Author
  • 06/24/2014
  • 386 Words
  • 974 Views
  • 3 Comments
Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

A letter to Billy - 5. Epilogue

This will most likely be the last entry for this (freeform rant, therapy session, whatever). Its been a bitch of a year, but somehow I am still alive.....

My dear Billy,

Today marks exactly eleven months since you left us. While I am still incredibly sad that you are gone, I am no longer angry with you. I love you today as much as I ever did. I hope that you found what you were looking for, and I hope you got your wish, and Jerry was there singing goddamned Uncle Johns Band when you found your heaven. I miss you every day, and I probably dial your phone number once a week, and then when your sister answers I have a mini breakdown, but I am managing to keep those internal these days. Kim and I have talked several times the last few months, and she has read these letters. She laughed at me quite a bit, but you know Kim - we have the same ascerbic, left field sense of humor. She lives in one of the houses you grew up in. I don't know if I told you that or not. Not that you don't have access to that info, I suppose.

So, my purpose with this letter is to, I suppose, tell you goodbye one final time, and let you float off with the rest of the Deadheads, forever following the tye-died masses through a haze of pot smoke and mediocre music - yes, mediocre. I'll give you prolific, but not fantastic or amazing. Of course, you were always more of a hippie than I.

On a more personal note, I did celebrate your birthday, but I didn't share that here or with anyone else. THat was a goodbye party just for you and me. So, for everyone else out there, and for you, Happy 25th.

 

Wow, this is gonna be so short I may have a hard time getting it marked as a chapter! I don't have too much to say, Kid. Life is fucked up right now, but it is at least on an even keel. I don't wanna talk about me though. I wanted to let you know that you are loved, and missed, and will be forever. And I mean that. But I have to let you go now so I can go on with my life as well. I'll see you around sometime, Kiddo.

 

Love ya,

J

If you are having suicidal thoughts, or want to hurt yourself in some way, please, for me, for your friends and family, and most importantly, for yourself, reach out to someone. Call oyur priest, your favorite auint, your brother, hell call me if you must. But please talk to someone. The world cannot go on in the same way without you, and quite frankly, we don't want it to.
Copyright © 2014 jkeele777; All Rights Reserved.
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Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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Chapter Comments

Lisa

I can't believe it's been almost a year now. I feel like I know Billy too just from all your letters.

 

This was such a moving letter (not that any of the other weren't; they were all so emotional), saying goodbye so you can move on. I hope the letters you wrote helped you ease the pain at least a little bit.

 

He was so, so young. I hope your message at the bottom can help someone. There is always hope; nothing is hopeless.

 

Take care, Jeremy.

jkeele777
On 06/25/2014 09:24 AM, Lisa said:
I can't believe it's been almost a year now. I feel like I know Billy too just from all your letters.

 

This was such a moving letter (not that any of the other weren't; they were all so emotional), saying goodbye so you can move on. I hope the letters you wrote helped you ease the pain at least a little bit.

 

He was so, so young. I hope your message at the bottom can help someone. There is always hope; nothing is hopeless.

 

Take care, Jeremy.

Lisa,

Thank you so much for all your kind words while I wrestled with how to handle this. You have helped more than you can possibly know, and I truly, truly appreciate it.

J

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