A Thousand Nights with You - 27. Chimeras

The night is dense with fog.

I can’t see what’s ahead of me. The putrid stench of bodies protected them. The infected can’t pick up their scent. Neither can I. Grace helps the old Nun down the mountain road, climbing over rocks and stepping on corpses. This feels so wrong.

I am supposed to protect Sister Latoya from the infected. And Grace is here to protect her from me. For the briefest moments, I had dreamt of a life living with my brother. All I can see now is the image of him unconscious and Peter’s scarred face. Who am I kidding? Drugs or not, I am a walking time bomb.

The RIs shuts down the Hive mind. That is why Grace gives me half the dose this time. With the fog, I need the Hive mind to sense and keep the infected away. I can’t see how many are near us, but I can sense them. But the reduced dosage also means I’m more likely to snap than before.

Cold sweat drips from their faces. I can smell their fear and hear their pounding hearts. The infected are only inches away from them. They know it. If I lose it, both of them will be torn from limb to limb. That’s why Grace is holding on to the syringe instead of her gun. Their lives depend on me.

I falter for a moment when the red film descends. Grace is about to stab the needle into my arm, but I stop her.

“Not yet.” I whispered. If she shuts down my connection to the Hive mind, they are as good as dead too.

The trek down the mountain couldn’t have been more than a mile. But it feels like forever. Once we reach the suburb, the horde thins out. That’s when I let Grace give me the injection.

“Go easy, there are still infected around.” I told her.

The tar road breaks into a dirt path. We take the shortcut towards the Cathedral backyard. The fog makes it looks like a cemetery. The statue of Jesus is blackened with algae, arms extended like the dark ones. The bones pile below it blocks the Cathedral entrance. It feels more like the Devil’s lair than a house of God.

Mark is inside. I can sense him through the Hive mind. He didn’t come out to greet me, which is bad. I told Grace and Sister Latoya to wait outside. They have stepped on enough corpses for today. Spare the dead some dignity.

I lurk in the shadows as I enter. Just as I thought.

Mark chained himself to the pipes. His eyes are feral.

I have seen this before. He hasn’t eaten anything for too long. The hunger grips him so hard that no alcohol or morphine will bring him back. There is only one way to bring him back. I roll up my shirt, finding a spot where the bite scars have healed. I approach Mark and brace myself for that familiar searing pain. But a hand grabs me back.

“Wait, Daniel.” It was Grace.

She stabs the syringe into his body and Mark passes out. I look at her in shock. “What wrong with him?"

RIs are supposed to bring him back, not knock him out. Only the infected ones go into stasis.

“Don’t worry,” she says. She takes a bag of clear liquid and inserts the needle into his veins. Then she continues, “Humans pass out when blood sugar goes too low. It’s just the parasite shutting down.”

“What’s that?” I ask her.

“Glucose drip, it gives him energy.” She said. And when I’m about to say something, she explains, “Don’t worry, he won’t get sick or throw up. I gave you some while you passed out.”

No wonder I don’t feel weak.

The dog tags dangled on his chest as he stirs. It belongs to his Dad. The marines wear them so that people can identify their bodies when they die. It is the only thing he keeps from his old life.

“Dan…” He grabs my hand.

“It’s okay, Mark. I’m here.”

His eyes focus slowly. I put an arm around him for comfort. It takes a while to shake off the horrors of the Hive mind. We can never get used to this. It feels like you are falling into a quicksand and you are watching yourself but cannot do anything about it.

“Look who’s here.” I nudge him gently, hoping that a familiar face will cheer him up.

He stares at Grace quietly, looking indifferent. He nods politely, but his face is cold. She must have picked on the vibes.

“I’ll go check on Beatrice.” She said and leaves the two of us alone. Meanwhile, I fill him in with what’s going on. He didn’t react to what I did to Tristan and Peter. I am hoping that he will tell me off or something. It might make me feel better. But he didn’t. It’s like he knew this will happen.

But instead, he says, “We don’t belong with them, Dan. You know it. We bring nothing but death.”

“Grace, she has these RIs-”

“And what? One missed dose and we lose control. They hang Tristan for stealing. Imagine what they will do to us.” He said.

“They won’t, we have friends…” I argued.

“They left me to die, Dan. Everyone is only looking out for themselves. You got to wise up to survive.”

I don’t know what to say to Mark. He’s been hardened ever since we got infected and lived on our own. He refused to talk about it, but he still has nightmares about lying all alone on the river bank, too injured to move away from the creeping horde, thinking that everyone has abandoned him.

On those nights, he would call out my name, flailing his arms about. We don’t dream and sleep like normal people anymore. We drift into the Hive mind, reliving the horrors and the bittersweet days of our past. It is these fears and yearnings that feed the Hunger. There is nothing I can do but to watch him quietly until the spell is over.

“I came back for you, didn’t I?” I said to him softly.

“Yes, you did. You little dumb ass.” He pulls me in and rests his head on mine. He puts both hands on my arms and says to me gently, “I just don’t want you to get your hopes up. We’re dangerous and they can’t always keep us sedated.”

I look away. I refuse to believe that’s all we are now. Then I remember Grey’s face, and how I snap the soldiers’ necks like they are stick dolls. I didn’t give a second thought about whether they can be saved by amputation, or if they have someone important to them. Would I be so hasty if Tristan was bitten instead? I shudder at the thought. Kill or be killed. That’s how animals lived. That’s how we lived now.

“We don’t belong to their world anymore, Dan.”

My heart feels heavy as Mark's words ring in my head.

He leans on me as I help him out of the Cathedral. We head inside the orphanage so that I can get him cleaned up and changed. His clothes are covered with blood and grime. Grace brought some chopped wood from the shed and the Sister drew water from the well.

“We have to get going soon. They won’t last long once the assault resumes in the morning. But first, I need to take a look at you.” She said to Mark.

“I’m fine. I just need to clean up for a bit.”

“You look like a morgue runaway.”

He said with a weak smile, “You don’t say.”

The orphanage is still the same as we came by the last time. Now and then, we will return so that I can catch a glimpse of my brother sitting by the cliff. We try to keep this place clean. It held many memories for me. It was here that I have my last moments of being untainted.

While Grace is examining Mark’s injuries, Sister Latoya start the fire while I bring out clean clothes from the drawers. She smiles at me when I return. It’s like she forgot how scared she was just moments ago. I ask her why she chose to come for this mission. Surely she must have known how dangerous it will be. She said she lived long enough.

“Death isn’t the scariest thing,” Sister Latoya said, huffing and blowing at the fire, “when you’re old and your knee is trembling from the weather.”

I put down the clothes and sit next to her, and she continues, “You may lie awake at night listening to your joints grind, you may miss your true love, and you may sigh at how the world has gone to ashes. But when you’re dead, you only live in the hearts of the people who will remember you.”

“Aren’t you supposed to believe in heaven?” I watch the fire flickers.

“I do, my child,” She leans over and puts her hand on my heart, “this is heaven.”

There are so many things in this world that I do not understand. I stand there and stare at her. The old Nun hugs me like I’m one of her orphans. And my eyes just well up for no reason. I feel bad for letting her come. I just wanted to save Tristan. I didn’t think about if she will make it back alive.

I also realized why Major Payne thinks it’s a bad idea. Sister Latoya hasn’t flown for thirty years. Besides, she needs to pilot one of those monster dual-rotor military helicopters, used for evacuation and to transport cargoes. It is so advanced that they can refuel in-flight and stable enough to transport explosives. It is very different from the old tourist copters she pilots for those island tours. She hasn’t been a Nun all her life. She laughs when I look surprised that she used to be married. Her husband died a long time ago and she has no children. That’s why she devotes herself to her faith. I hope the air base comes with instruction manuals or something.

After a while, Grace comes out from the room, looking frustrated. She sighs and looks at me, “He’s stubborn as a pit bull.”

“What’s wrong?”

“He won’t let me clean or dress his wounds. He needs a vet, not a doctor.” She complains.

I chuckle softly. Mark has these moments when he’s in a bad mood. Our bodies heal faster after we turned, but there’s no reason to make it work harder than it should. I’m sorry that Grace has to bear the brunt of his crankiness tonight.

“What do you need?” I ask her.

She hands me an empty syringe and a bottle of antiseptic and says. “100 ml of blood and clean those cuts with these. He’s all yours.”

Mark is licking his wounds like an animal. He stopped doing that when he realized I’m in there. It’s an old habit he got from his dog. He swears that the saliva is the best antiseptic around. I wanted to call him out for his bullshit, but he’ll do the same to me for picking on my scabs instead.

“Time to clean up, caveman.” I bring in the cloth and the hot water, wiping his face and body. By now, Mark is strong enough to wash up on his own. But I enjoy doing little things for him. We don’t get many lucid days like this. He wears a silly grin as I clean him up. I asked him what’s so funny.

“How I wish you’re a girl, sometimes.”

I don’t know why but it rubs me the wrong way. It’s not like I care about my male pride or something. But it makes me feel like I’m not good enough for him. I throw the cloth at his face and tell him to clean himself. It is a very girly thing to do, I know. But I am fuming mad. He grabs my hand to stop me from leaving.

“Hey, I’m sorry. That came out wrong. What I’m trying to say is that you’re so sweet and all…. and I always wanted my own children.”

He smiles and looks straight at me. This is the first time he says anything like this. I don’t know why but I have to turn my face away. For once, I didn’t miss seeing colors again. At least if the world is still red he won’t see how much I am blushing. But then again, I’m not even sure if my pallid skin is still able to blush.

Mark prefers girls. It’s a fact that I’ve learn to accept. He knows how I feel about him. That’s why I never expect anything. He was hardly lucid in the one time that we’ve been intimate. And after we turned, all I wanted is to wake up and find him there, still knowing who I am. I had stopped dreaming about a future together. The Hunger makes all other needs seem trivial when you have to fight for your sanity every day.

“I’m glad that you stick around Dan, even when I look like this.” He fondles my hair gently.

“I’m not so pretty either.” I said.

We share a laugh and then I put up a hand for a high five. It doesn’t matter to me how he looks anymore. We are going to be old and wrinkled one day anyway. But this feeling won’t grow old.

He frowns when he sees me taking out the antiseptic bottle. “I don’t need that.”

“It’s your punishment.” I sit down next to him and wet the cloth with the antiseptic. He still gives me that look. “Come on, don’t be such a wuss.”

Good thing that I know how to push his buttons. He grimaces when I apply the stinging blue liquid over the cuts and abrasions on his body. While I was cleaning his wounds, he says that I should get Tristan out from there while I still can. More dark ones will return and we won’t be able to take them all out. You can never use the same trick on them twice. We are all connected by the Hive mind. He believes that the settlement is a sinking ship.

“Even if we get all these ammo, and then what? It’s gonna run out eventually.” He said.

“Grace said that they only need to last long enough until Atlantis restocks their supplies. They got factories in the seas and the coastal cities got access to mines.” I said.

After drawing his blood and picking up his bloodied clothes, I stand up and say, “We got to go. They won’t last long without ammo.”

Mark changes into a clean pair of lumberjack shirt and jeans. But instead of going out to the hallway, he goes into the kitchen.

“Where are you going?” I asked. He moves his fingers about, being able to use them again. The RIs are working on him. He picks up two sharp knives on hang them by his belt.

He said, “Now I’m ready to do some serious damage.”

***

We hit the main road leading to the highway. Grace said that we should take one of the abandoned cars. Many drivers left the keys inside and the gas tank is probably still full – if not, we can always siphon some.

Mark thinks that it’s a better idea to go by foot. We had seen way too many roads blocked by abandoned cars, especially on the highway. It is too conspicuous to drive. There are dark ones watching, and not to mention highway robbers.

“All the more we should drive.” Grace said, looking back at Sister Latoya who is struggling to keep pace with us.

Starting the car engine after winter isn’t easy. They have been abandoned for so many months. While Mark works at it, Grace massages Sister Latoya’s swollen knees. She looks so frail and brittle. For a moment, Peter’s scarred face flashes in my mind. The guilt keeps looming in my head.

It takes a while for the car to start and to get the other vehicles out of the way so that it can move. Fortunately, Mark is as strong as a bull. Grace said that the parasite pumps all kinds of chemicals into our bodies and adrenaline is one of them. While driving, she asks us a lot of questions about our condition. Things like how we evade the dark ones, how is Mark different from me, that kind of thing.

I tell her the few things we know about the dark ones. Tristan calls them the ‘super-blackies’ because they are darkest infected that we have seen. They are evasive and cunning, and they can sense our intentions through the hive mind. They see what we see and feel what we feel, but they don’t understand words. Because of that, Mark and I use the advantage to communicate with each other.

“Sometimes I wonder if I will end up as a Dark one if the virus got into me.” I told Grace. She shrugs and says possibly. Then I said Mark will probably end up as one of those super-fast infected because he’s so fast and strong.

“Are you calling me a dumb?” He smacks my head lightly. Grace and the Sister laughs.

With both hands on the steering wheel, she squints at the dark road ahead, careful to avoid any bodies and road kills. Animals have been running about on roads and in houses ever since it happens. The fog has cleared up a bit, but it’s still not easy to drive. The old sedan can’t take much damage like the army rover does. We can only see a few yards ahead of us, but there are all kinds of things lying about on the road – deer, humans, infected, trunks, motorcycles, they have it all.

We are driving so slowly that it takes some time for the highway to clear. Those abandoned cars belong to the people who didn’t make it to the mountain settlement in time. We could have been one of them.

“Dan might have a point. The Chimera seems to adapt to its host to optimize its survival.” Grace said, continuing the conversation that we have earlier.

“Chimera?” Mark raised a brow.

“That’s the name of the parasite species - Chimera Cordycep.” She said.

“You discovered it - shouldn’t it be named after you?” I said.

“God, no.” Grace frowns and rolls her eyes, “Who wants to be associated with that thing? Besides, the research council decided on Chimera for a good reason.”

She asked me if I thought that there was anything unusual when she showed me the jar of the parasite earlier. I told her that it had three fungal heads sprouting from its stem.

“That’s right.” She said.

One of it connects to the brain, releasing all kinds of chemicals to control our behavior. The second one grows out to the back of our necks, and acts like a radio antenna to communicate with the others. The third one grows at the back of the throat, which produces spores when we bite. Just like the mythical Chimera, the parasite is a three headed monster. Grace told us the story; the Chimera beast has three heads – a snake, a goat and a lion. It reminds me of who we are now. We may be docile as a goat with the RIs suppressing our instincts, but it doesn’t change the fact that we are monsters.

Although the airbase is ten miles away according to the military map, the terrain doesn’t make it easy to get there. At some point, the road is choked with so much corpses that the sedan can’t move ahead. We ended up having to walk the rest of the way.

It is well hidden from the main road. We took one of the smaller dirt paths to cut across towards the main entrance. The barbed wired fences keep out the wild animals. But with the electricity gone, some parts of it were cut open. We’re not sure if it’s people trying to get in, or to get out.

Along the way, we see many infected soldiers in air force uniform slumbering about mindlessly. There are no lights or sound coming from inside. It seems like the air base is completely overrun. I doubt there will be any survivors to pilot the chopper. Sister Latoya may be our only hope.

I pause at the entrance, trying to sense if there are any dark ones in there. They might be evasive, but I can tell the difference when the nearby infected are being directed. We got ‘caught’ a few times exposing ourselves like this. You got to pretend that you are part of the horde, feel whatever that they are feeling so that the dark ones won’t know a free-willed renegade is poking around. Mark has never been good at staying under their radar.

“How is it, Dan?” He asked.

“I don’t think the dark ones are here.” I answered.

“Should be a piece of cake then.” He said.

The base is big, but well spread out. There are probably a few thousand infected inside based on the lingering horde out in the open. Finding the arms depot is the problem. All of the buildings look just like hangars to us. Going from one building to another could take a good five minutes when it’s on the other side of the runway. There is one large central building which looks like the admin block and the control tower.

“You don’t suppose they have some kind of map of this place?” Mark asks.

“They might,” Grace shrugs, “and I bet that it’s there.” She points to the main admin building.

We huddle closer as we enter inside. It’s always tricky to keep people safe from the infected in tight corners like these. We see janitors, canteen staff, office workers, soldiers in uniform crowding in clusters. Sometimes, there aren’t a lot of spaces to move them around. We make it to the lift lobby when a grey one suddenly jumps out from a corner.

It is a woman in army slacks. She lunged at Grace but Mark sent her flying with a blow. He quickly snaps her neck before she can get the others all riled up. Grace looks pale when she recovers from the shock.

“Dan, what’s wrong?” He said, trying to catch his breath. I’m supposed to be keeping them out.

“I’m sorry. The RIs makes it hard to stay inside the Hive mind.”

He sighs with relief. “I thought it was the dark ones controlling them.”

Dark ones or not, the fact that I screwed up didn’t put Grace at ease in the least bit. She takes out the powder from her bag and passes some to Sister Latoya.

“We should put some on, just in case.” She said to her. Just in case I slip up again. She didn’t say it out loud, but I kept thinking about what Mark said to me earlier. Sooner or later they are going to realize that we can’t be trusted. We can’t even trust ourselves right now.

It’s hard to stay close to Grace and the Sister after they powdered. Their scents are stinging and pungent. No wonder the infected won’t come close to them.

Grace thinks that we should try the top floor. Normally that’s where the high ranking officials have their offices. Once we get there it isn’t really that hard to find. There are many portraits, medals and plaques lining on the wall. Someone important must be working inside. The fancy glass doors can be broken into easily. The alarm has long been cut off with the electricity gone.

We shine the flash light at the signs on the door. The spacious office belongs to a General. The décor and furniture used to be sleek and stylish, now they are broken. We expected the base map to be hanging on the wall or something but there are only blood stains and bullet holes.

“Maybe they have it inside one of the metal cabinets.” I point to a corner.

The cabinets are full of dust and cobwebs. It’s locked by one of those high tech magnetic grids that require a retina scan or thumb print to open. But there is no more power. There is nothing we can do even if we find the General. He’s probably dead or infected anyway. Mark simply gives the handle a strong tug and the lock broke open. Both Grace and the Sister stare at him for a moment.

“What?” He shrugs.

We flip out all the files in the cabinet - lots of boring letters, reports and graphs. Still no map, but something else caught my eye. There are many red files inside that are marked ‘Top Secret’. But this one has a thick bound report inside that says ‘Operation Tidal Wave’.

“What is it, Daniel?” Grace asked me.

“You mention about this before.” I show it to her. She overheard Colonel Walters saying this code when he communicates with the President.

She flips through it quickly, until she sees large map attached inside. It isn’t the one that we are looking for. The map has all the cities coded in the current hazard colors. She looks puzzled for a moment, and then she flips to the front of the report.

“Strange…” She said.

“What’s going on?” Mark asked.

“The hazard coding of the cities and states are to-date, but this report is dated three years ago.” She said. It’s like the military know which city is going to fall and which one is going to hold all along. She flips to the front again and read the long distribution list for the report. It seems that only Generals and a few Colonels get to read this.

She puts the file inside her bag and we get out from the office. Mark says that we should start looking at the bunkers and hangars, no point wasting our time here. I say that we should give the fire security office a try. If anyone needs a map, it will be them. In the end, we found it on the wall as we have imagined it.

The arms and ammunition depot is in the eastern side of the camp, close to the chopper hangar. We decided to split up so that we can get things done faster. Mark will escort Sister Latoya to fuel the chopper and give her some time to figure out how to operate a Boeing CH47F chopper.

“You sure you can handle this, Beatrice?” Grace asks her.

“As long as they take off and land the same way, it shouldn’t be too difficult.” The old nun said.

“All right, in that case, Daniel and I will break into the depot and load up the ammo onto the forklift. We’ll meet up when you get the chopper onto the runway.” Grace said.

Mark frowns. “This is stupid. What if there’s an ambush and we’re split up?”

Grace throws up her hands and argues, “All the more we should split up. Some of us need to stay alive to complete the mission. The settlement - ”

“Fuck the settlement! What have they done for us? Other than blowing up the bridge and let us die?!” Mark gets all heated up.

Sister Latoya tries to calm them down. The noise is attracting way more attention than I can divert them. I put a hand on Mark to soothe him.

“Do this for me, Mark. I’ll be fine.”

It takes a while to coax him. But he softens eventually when I told him Tristan is in danger every moment we delay.

Tristan wants me to live with him. But with Mark like this, I wonder how it’s ever going to happen. Mark is like one of those broken animals that no longer trust people.

We leave the admin building before the horde swarms and trap us in. It will be a pain to disperse a crowd that size. We head off to our separate ways once we’re out in the open. Grace is quiet throughout the way, her face is hard to read,

“Don’t be mad at him.” I said to her when we’re alone. “He’s been through a lot.”

“I know, Dan. I’m just sad that he feels that way. It’s not like we didn’t try to look for the both of you… Maybe we didn’t try hard enough. But…” She lets out a heavy sigh and looks at me, “Maybe they are all excuses. I guess I know how it feels like to be abandoned.”

“Give him time. He’ll come round. Mark hates being alone more than I do.” I said, not totally believing in what I had just said.

I remembered how Grace looked when I first met her. She was so angry with the world. She lost everything, including her pride, having to prostitute herself to hundreds of men just to stay alive. Maybe what Tristan said is true – things won’t look up until you hit rock bottom.

We pass by a small building and the scent caught me by surprise - untainted human corpses.

“We don’t have time for this, Dan.” Grace said.

I ask her to push me up the window so that I can see what’s inside. This might be important.

It appears to be a store room of sorts. But I see pile of broken human bones, as if someone has taken the bone marrow out from it. It is dumping ground for dead bodies. The infected don’t do such things. And I have seen this before.

“What is it?” Grace asked.

“We are not alone.”