GFD 08: Threshold - 5. Chapter 5

I walked back to my room, hoping that Gyro was still safe. Coming in through the doorway, I noticed that all of the other boys and girls had left...except for Kyra. She sat silently at Gyro's side, holding his hand underneath the blankets. She looked at me from accross the room, her face never using a single muscle to change her expression in her angelic, but deadened, image. Her eyes were surrounded by a thin layer of black, almost looking like make-up, and her lips looked pale and cold. Gyro was still breathing shallow, his body shivering every now and then as a cold sweat ran down his cheeks. But he seemed to be ok.

"Thank you, sweetheart." I said, but she stood up as soon as I spoke, and walked right past me. Out of the room as though her job was done and it was time for my 'shift' to begin. There's really something troubling that girl. Something no one would ever be able to reach until she deemed it time for them to do so. It reminded me of Kid back at the lot, and I wondered if her life, her personal history, was as horrific as his was. Such a young girl to be lost in this world of darkness.

I sat down next to Gyro on the floor, and fixed a small pallete of blankets to sleep at his side for that night. I figured the dawn was about an hour away, maybe less. But somehow, even in his unconscious haze, I was sure Gyro might appreciate the company. I leaned back against the wall, just thinking. Just letting my mind travel over all that has happened. And how much worse it could get. Maybe running away from the lot wasn't enough. Maybe I needed to go further. Were no one could find me. Not even Taryn. If death and destruction of this magnitude is following me everywhere I go...then no one is safe around me. What if he comes back? What if he...hurts my friends?

"You seem troubled." As always, Dash knew to come find me before bed. It was like he always knew.

"Is everybody ok?"

"Everybody is fine, and don't change the subject." Dash told me as he came to sit on the floor next to me. "No matter what it is that's going on, you can't blame yourself for what happened here tonight. The reason this place even exists is because things like this happen. It's not your fault."

"Twilight seems to think so." I said, "Actually...I think I'm beginning to believe it too." The sadness fell over me, and I could feel it creeping into my voice, my posture, my every emotion. It takes over so fast, always faster than I can catch it.

"Justin...I could ask you how someone so young into his crossover could have possibly done what you did for us tonight. I could ask how you were able to defend yourself against a well trained Hunter when there are vampires with ten TIMES your experience who couldn't have done so. I could even ask you why I happened to see 'your' footprints mixed in with the tracks on the wall, as though you were walking on it with little to no effort. A talent reserved mostly for 'Mafia' element. I could...but I won't." He said. "What you did out there may have saved a lot of lives here tonight. Your path is going to be an interesting one indeed over the next few episodes in your life. I'm just grateful that your path happened to cross mine when we needed it most."

"I don't think Twilight would agree with you."

Dash sighed. "Twilight...she has her reasons for being as cautious as she is, Justin. She has been through enough pain in her life to warrant her almost obsessive need to run a tight ship." He shifted over to sit closer to me, until our shoulders were touching. "Years ago, Twilight and her parents came to a sanctuary much like this one to find her sister Amy among the inhabitants there. Amy had been turned into a vampire by a former boyfriend, and he met up with a group of scavengers before he got the chance to teach her much of anything about her new life. Somehow, she wound up there. And her parents came to find her after she had been seen wandering the streets in town after her first feed. I was hiding there myself, and I had just met Hamish, so I was never quite sure what tipped off the soldiers that came looking for Amy that night, or why. What I do know, however, was that it was a slaughter. A complete bloodbath. An army of Hunters swooped down on all of us so fast that we didn't even have time to react, killing anything that stood in their way. It was basically Pearl Harbor without the planes. Hamish and I were safely hidden away under the floorboards of the old place, but many others weren't so lucky. The raid was taking out vampires by the dozen. Such carnage. When I peeked out to see if I could do anything...I saw a little girl crying in the corner. I didn't know what to do, but I HAD to do something. So I ran out for a second, and I grabbed her, pulling her into my safe haven and trying to keep her safe."

"Twilight?" I asked.

"Yes. She was only 9 at the time, but she remembers everything. Every rip, every shred, every bite. Her sister was murdered during the conflict, as were both of her human parents. She screamed uncontrollably, wanting to save her family. But there would be nothing for her to do except to die along with them. She didn't sleep for weeks after that." Dash said. "I took her in, as an adopted daughter of sorts. Taught her as much as I could, and once this sanctuary was built, traveling vampires taught her the rest. That girl pushed herself beyond any limit we could possibly set for her. Always training, always perfecting, always improving. There were times when I thought she might actually kill herself pushing so hard. But this is what she wanted. She wanted to be better than the people that took her life from her, and she swore that she'd be able to defend herself against ANY attacker, no matter how strong they were. No matter how skillful. I think she's gone beyond even HER expectations sometimes." Dash leaned back a bit. "She never asked or wanted to be changed though. She wanted to keep her humanity, and I was more than happy to respect that. So...she got older, stronger, and now here she is. Defending this place to the fullest every single day."

"Keeping it secure from people like me, no doubt." I said, feeling my heart drop.

"Keeping it safe FOR people like you, Justin." Dash wasn't getting through, not tonight. Not with me falling into that pit of self pity where no one else was allowed to intrude. He looked over at me with such concern. Then he leaned over to hug me closely to him. "You're a very special young man, Justin. And that's because of who you are, not what you can do." That said, he stood up and told me to get some rest. He'd have his medics look me over in the morning in case I needed any attention. After that he got up to his feet. "Again, Justin....thank you." He said, and walked out of the room to let me sleep. The dawn was coming fast, and we were both shutting down anyway. There was just enough time to cry myself to sleep that night. Just enough time to wish for something better.

Just enough time to realize that no answers were coming. Not for me. It doesn't necessarily make for a restful slumber.

The next evening I woke up on the floor alone. I sat straight up, wondering what had happened to Gyro, but Dash had left a note on the wall saying that they had taken him to another room to try and purify his system to speed up the process of his recovery. Funny how taking care of him was the first thing on my mind. The second thought, however, was that I hadn't woke up screaming this time. No sweats or shivers or nightmarish images lingering past my eyes. This...'Beast'...hadn't been up to it's usual tricks. It should've made me feel good, but it didn't. I would have loved to have been lost in the idea that I had beaten it during our last encounter. That I could sleep peacefully and never again worry about it coming after me. But somehow, I don't think it was going to be that easy. And whether I was prepared or not...it was definitely going to come back at me. And next time, it'll come full force.

I got up and dusted myself off before walking out into the hallway. With a stretch, I moved a bit forward and joined some of the others in one of the larger community rooms of the sanctuary. I figured that it might be good to stay around other people for a while. If nothing else, it would keep my mind occupied with other things until Taryn came to 'collect' me. Knowing him, he was probably already on his way. People were talking and involved in their own little world, some writing in notebooks, some just keeping to themselves in order to find time to think. There were different reactions to me, however, as I walked through the halls. More eye contact...they knew who I was. I got smiles, pats on the shoulders, even some of the teenage girls looked me up and down as I walked past. Evidently, what I had done last night was no secret. Not by a long shot. Entering the playroom, where Dash had dispensed a healthy dose of candy to the kids each day, I noticed even more heads rise up. Some of them whispering to each other as I entered through the doorway. There were a few of the young ones play fighting in the corner, reenacting the conflict from the night before. It was so cute, watching them tumble and make silly sound effects with their mouths as they put on a play depicting one of the most epic battles of all time. At least to THEM it was. It made me smile to see two of them argue and fight over who gets to be 'me' in their little game. Me...a character in their exciting fantasy. How strange is THAT? I don't think they had any idea of how serious last night's raid was. It seemed blasphemous to tell them. Better it all remained a game in their minds. Such serious things, why plague them with it before they're ready.

Then, I sensed something. A pair of eyes that had fixed themselves on me. A little bit harder than the others had. The sensation caught my attention. Looking over to another side of the room, I noticed someone staring at me from one of the tables. He had brown hair, kinda long, and was maybe a year or two older than me from the looks of it. He started to really stare a hole in me, and when he caught a glimpse of me looking back, he smiled warmly in my direction. As though he had confirmed whatever it was that he was looking for in my eyes. He got up from his table, and walked over to greet me.

"Well, I'll just be damned..." He said as he stood next to me. He reached out a hand and touched my arm, feeling my muscles and just seemingly amazed with how I looked.

"Excuse me?"

"I can't believe it. YOU'RE the 'Justin' everybody has been talking about around here? The champion fighter from last night? You've got to be shitting me!" He laughed, and then gave me a big hug around the shoulders. "I never would have guessed! God DAMN, boy, how are you??? You're looking a HELL of a lot better than the last time I saw you, kid!"

I stepped back a bit, out of his embrace. "You...you know me?" I asked, puzzled.

"Ohhhh....of course. You don't remember me, do you? Nah...I guess you wouldn't. Your mind was too far gone from the thirst to take in details the last time I saw you." He said, and that's when he really did start to look familiar to me. I couldn't remember where I had seen him, but something about his face...I remembered that face. "Try to think back about a month ago. That night in the city? You were hungry, almost starving yourself? I came across you and your blond friend, Trevor, in the street while you were all cramped up and crying from the pain. Remember?"

My mind started to clear a bit, the fog lifting slowly, small details coming back into focus. "You were there that night?" I said, and more of my memory came back.

"I most certainly was. And you were really in bad shape, kiddo. You know, you really shouldn't wait that long to feed. It messes with your head something awful. It's a good thing you had your friend and me there to get you situated."

"It was you..." I said. "You were there. You helped me up to my feet. You and Trevor took me into that 24 hour Kinkos..."

"That's right. I helped you nab your first kill, buddy boy." He grinned when he said it, but the words were more abrasive to me than he could have imagined. Flashes of the whole terror filled evening exploded in the back of my mind like some old horror movie. I relived the whole thing all over again. The thirst, the manager, the images of his life as I attacked him. The scissors, the chase...and ultimately...the last few drops of his essence as I sucked him dry in a dirty old alley. To believe that, until this very moment, I had been able to successfully block that night out of my mind without thinking back to it once...incredible. But it happened...didn't it? It happened. And he knew about it. "I guess you're feeling a hell of a lot better THESE days, huh?" He smiled. "The name's Jarrod. In case you can't recall."

"Hey...hi. Yeah. I'm sorry. It's just....that night wasn't one of my favorite memories."

He slugged me playfully in the shoulder. "Don't go fretting over that. You'll get used to it. Hell, you'll be looking forward to perfecting your technique after the first few times." He was evidently 'used to it' himself from the sounds of it. "Besides, it sounds to me like the good ol' midnight snack did you some good! I hear you're a regular super hero around here after last night."

"They're talking about me?"

"How could they not? You made one heck of an impression with the way you fight. I'm kinda sorry I missed out on it, I wish I could have been here to see you in action." He patted his pockets down, and reached in to pull out a business card. "Listen, I do a little underground radio program on small select frequencies around town. Something for us vampires to get up on what's happening out there on the streets. It's small, but I can't make it too big or regular 'human' radio stations might pick it up by mistake. We can't have that. Still, I DO have regular listeners and I'm sure they'd love to hear a little bit more about how you do what you do. Why don't you stop by sometime?" He offered.

"I don't think so. Actually...I'd appreciate it if you didn't...talk about what happened here last night." I was already exposed, and now people were talking all around the compound...this was getting out of hand. AGAIN. It would spread soon like wild fire, and I'd be in even more trouble than I was before. The more I wanted to keep a lid on everything, the harder it was to contain. Let's face it, I was making a ton of stupid mistakes and I don't know how to get back to just...being that weird kid that lived in life's shadow. Oh how I missed that kid.

"Suit yourself. But if you change your mind, come see me. I'm sure you've got people that are just dying to hear what you've got to say."

"I might be one of them." Came a voice from the doorway. It made my heart weak to see Taryn standing there to greet me with a change of my own clothes and a new pair of sneakers from the trailer. He must have waken up pretty damn early to have gotten here so fast. "You didn't think I was gonna let you stay here without me, did you?" He smiled.

"No, I knew better." I grinned. "It's so good to see you, sweetie."

He was ready for me, freshly showered, his black eye almost non existant except for a slight discoloration on his cheek, and as beautiful as he was the first night that I met him. Maybe even more so. I've never been so in love. "So....you ready?" He asked shyly.

"Yeah...I'm ready." I looked back at Jarrod, and he simply ruffled my hair as he walked away.

"I think I'm gonna be hearng a lot more from you, kid. So you come see me if you change your mind. Ok?" He said. Then he grabbed his backpack from the table and walked out.

"C'mon. Let's go home." Taryn sid, and gave me the sweetest kiss on my cheek as he wrapped an arm around my waist.

Walking out of the room, I bumped into Dash. His pockets filled with candy as always. And seeing the two of us together, made him smile. "I take it you two have some catching up to do? Huh?" Dash said.

"A lot of catching up to do, yes." I giggled. And then I looked down as Dash extended his han in friendship.

"It has been an honor and a pleasure...my friend." He said. I reached out and shook his hand, but he used it to pull me in for a loving hug. "Thank you, Justin. If you ever need us, for ANYTHING...you know where we are." He said.

I hugged him back as his embrace tightened around me. "Thank you for everything Dash. You've been the best."

Then, Dash stepped back slightly, and gave me a serous look before letting go. "Justin....you realize..." He paused, before starting again. "...The path you've chosen, the one laid out for you...it won't be a pleasant one. A majority of our resident psychics here...they have forseen it. In the days to come...you are going to have to be stronger than you ever thought possible. You know this, right?"

"I...um...I had an idea. Yeah." I said, worried how much of this prediction was true.

Dash then reached in his pocket, and pulled out a small thin string necklace, and on the end of it, a cross. "I want you to take this with you, Justin. It belonged to Xairen before he passed away. I'm sure he'd want you to have it."

"Dash. I can't. I don't..."

"This is not about belief, Justin. It's about faith. Just...consider this a reminder of the strength and courage you're going to need to get through the hard times ahead. Ok?" He asked, his eyes pleading. "Take it."

I reached out my hand, accepted the gift. Putting it around my neck. Then I hugged him tightly again. "I'll be back here. I promise you." I said. "You take good care of Gyro. And don't you let him give you any lip when he wakes up. He can be quite a handful."

"Yeah, well...so can I." Dash smiled, and it was the most genuine smile that I had seen from him since I came knocking on that door a few nights ago. It looked like he was really, truly happy. It was all I needed to say goodbye.

The kids followed me and Taryn down the halls as we headed for the front entrance. They were all saying bye and waving at me to give me a proper send off. All except for Kyra, who stared on blankly. If anyone knew what was lying ahead of me...it was her.

We had reached the door, and Twilight stood there to open it for us and send us on our way. Her look was still as military and unfeeling as ever as we approached her, but when I stopped in front of her, it softened slightly. Not MUCH, but slightly. "I suppose you can take it from here?" I said, a playful smirk on my face.

She almost let a smirk appear on her own face, but it didn't quite make it. Instead, she straightened the arch in her back, lifted her head, and gave me a firm handshake. It felt almost like a soldier's salute in its delivery. "You did well. You came here, and you helped us with everything you had to give. I can respect that." She said, and that was it. The look in her eyes told me that she was finished, that this was as 'soft' as she gets...and I took it as a huge compliment.

"Thank you...security officer Twilight." I said with a nod. And, that sid, Taryn and I left the walls of the sanctuary behind. Back out into the night. Back...'home'.

My reception back at the lot was a quiet one. Almost a silent one. But hardly the backlash that I was expecting. Jenna was the first to greet me at the gate, and all she did was give me a hug. Her face was back to being as flawless as ever, and I hope that I hadn't bruised it too badly in my outburst. Jun and Dion were happy to see me rejoin the rest of the group, but didn't say much outside of "Welcome home." Dylan, shy as ever, was pretending not to see me and didn't really make eye contact as I walked passed, but he was happy to see me back anyway. I could feel it. The only thing was, there was no sign of Michael or Trevor. From what Doc told me, they had gone out for a little getaway that evening. Probably wouldn't be home until dawn. Was it relief that I felt? Maybe I was glad to not have to look at them that night. But...Michael was quickly becoming a menace, and they had to be told. They HAD to be.

"Hey fuck face!" Came a shout from the other end of the lot, and as Taryn and I spun around to see who it was...I saw Max start walking my way. I froze, my heart started pumping...geez, I swear he gets bigger every time I look at him. He approached quiety, wiping his oily hands off on an old rag, looking like a strong armed mechanic in a cut off sleeved shirt. I saw Kid peek out from behind one of the trashed cars in the distance to watch, and I got nervous as hell. I braced myself for Max to get his lick back. But when he got close enough to me to strike....he put a hand on my shoulder instead. "Good hit." He said.

My eyes were closed so tightly, my muscles so tense, that it took a second or two to realize that he wasn't going to hit me. I opened one eye first, and then the other, wondering if it was some trick. I half expected him to tear me limb from limb after what I did. "What?"

"Good hit. You got me. End of story." He said. "What the hell are you flinching for? RELAX!" He patted me hard on the shoulder, and then turned to walk away from me. "What's everybody staring at? Mind your business!" His attitude as cranky and abrasive as ever, he walked back over to where Kid was and went back to fiddling with the car. I felt as though I had just used my one 'get out of jail free' card, and was thankful that he didn't rip my throat out. Because that's what I was preparing for. And although they did't say anything, I think everyone else in that lot was preparing for it too.

"I told you, they're ok." Taryn said softly in my ear.

"I think it's just gonna take a few days to stop feeling bad about it." I said. Looking around, realizing that I knew every nook and crany of the old place. It was true. This place really was home. "I suppose that I'm going to be on punishment for quite a long time after this little stunt, aren't I?"

"I don't know. Bryson hasn't said much since you left. To any of us. But....it won't be so bad."

"No, I think it will. I really fucked things up this time. I'm probably gonna end up under 'house arrest' for the next few MONTHS or so before he decides that I'm ready to function outside of the lot again."

Taryn took a hold of my hand. "He just wants what's best for you hon. He understands."

"I know he wants what's best for me Taryn. I know that. But...I'm trying to LEARN things here, and all I get is sheltered and protected and nobody wants to tell me anything. I NEED to know, Taryn. Because I'm confused, and I'm scared, and I just don't understand why he won't let me learn. Why can't Bryson teach me what I need to know without all of this clandestine bullshit."

Bryson's voice came from over my shoulder. "Because having too many questions at once, can lead to easy answers, Justin. And trust me, there are NO easy answers." He walked over to join us, and I instantly expected a lecture. Our father figure was going to give me pure hell for what I had done. I was SURE of it! "There is so much that you need to know, Justin. So much that there is to learn. I know that my methods seem to be putting a stranglehold on your knowledge and need for experience...but your development requires time. And more importantly...wisdom.

"It was an accident, Bryson. I SWEAR to you, it was just a stupid accident..." I pleaded, but he put his hand on my shoulder and squeezed tenderly at it.

"It's not the incident that I'm worried about, Justin. It's what you learned from it, what you take from every triumph and every mistake that you make....THAT'S my concern. The deeper you get into this world, the more careful you're going to have to be with your own personal perspective of reality. The line between being a philosopher and a madman, a vampire and a bloodthirsty savage,are a lot thinner than you would like to believe. The choices you make now may, in fact, determine the rest of your existence. No matter what you build, no matter how incredible it may be, without a stable foundation it is sure to come crashing down around you." He said. "It's my job to see that that foundation is built strong. Because....some mistakes can't be taken back. Do you understand?" I nodded, and he came close to give me a hug. "Good."

"So...does this mean that I can't leave the lot anymore?" I asked, both me and Taryn wondering what kind of ordeal he was going to put me through before I had learned my lesson.

"Most definitely. I don't want to see you step a single foot out of this lot until I say otherwise." He said sternly. But before my face could drop completely, he added, "Because you've got some training to do."

Taryn and I both looked up at him at the same time. Bewildered, Taryn asked, "Training? Really?"

"Sigh...Justin's abilities are already in motion. His extra has already presented itself numerous times..." Bryson then looked me warmly in the eye, "And he's shown a great consideration for his friends. It would be wrong to restrict his growth at this point."

"Are...are you saying...that I can learn extras and everything now???" I said, excitement jumping up into my throat and shining brightly out of my eyes.

"A LITTLE bit at the time...yes." He aggreed, still trying to control my excitement. "As of tomorrow...I'll make it official. Ok?"

I didn't know what to DO! I didn't know what to SAY! Oh my GOD...this was it! The end of me being a toddler as far as teaching me was concerned. No more chasers, no more lock downs, no more anything! Finally, he was going to teach me to be as independent as I wanted to be! I rushed Bryson and hugged him tight around the waist! "THANK YOU!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you!" I shouted.

"Hey now! Don't get carried away! It's going to be a lot of hard work, and focus, and I'll be giving you books to study from EVERY night so you can..."

"He's gonna TRAIN me Taryn! I'm finally gonna be one of you guys!" I said, kissing him again and again on the lips, not even paying attention to Bryson's attempt to downplay the moment. I think he gave up.

"Sighhh...kids." He said, and turned to leave Taryn and I to truly 'catch up' on our date. This time...it was going to go as smoothly as we had planned it to. Once we got into the trailer, we didn't come back out. It was a sexual interlude that we had been craving for almost a week now, and nothing was going to interrupt us this time. The taste, the feel, the scent, the sight, the sounds of his boyish whimpers, they danced throughout that abandoned lot for the rest of the night. And when we were done, we only had a few moments of talking and smiling before we were at it again. The good thing about being a teenager forever....three times in a row is no big feat for us. And it never will be. Hehehehe, but that's another story altogether.

We bonded again, reminding our spirits just how special we really were to one another, and reconnected with a passion that vowed to never be broken again. Not ever. Hours later, as the dawn crept over the horizon, and Taryn wrapped his naked body around mine to hold me tght throughout the approaching day...my mind began to wander. For even in pleasant times like these, when everything seems so right, so real...I knew that my life was never one of bliss. There were problems lying ahead. Dash told me so. Kyra told me so. Tim told me so. Comicality told me so. It was as if I could see the dark clouds rolling in. Every so slowly. They were getting closer and closer, every single day. There was nothing I could do to stop it.

The Beast was still out there somewhere....lurking. And even though I had dodged them tonight, I heard both Trevor and Michael return to the lot late that night. Once Michael realized that I was home, that Gyro would soon return...he'd try harder to get rid of us. Our absence was the only insurence he had on keeping all of Trevor's attention for himself. There's no telling what he might do next.

Dash spoke of hard times ahead...and I wondered exactly how hard those times were going to be. What they meant. How they would affect me in the long run. I couldn't be sure. But I did know this...

I was ready...

It's time. This vault of mine has been locked and sealed for far too long. So long that I had almost lost the key to uncovering the many secrets that I had locked inside. I didn't want Justin to know. I couldn't tell him for fear that he'd...see me differently. Think of me as just another boy, with the same evils and hang ups and psychosis as anyone else on the planet. I just...I figured that if I could JUST keep that part of myself secret, if I could JUST stay quiet and keep some mystery about who I am...then he couldn't find all of the dirty things there are to not like about me. He couldn't find those many reasons there are inside to hate me. But...I guess that things aren't working out like I planned.

Justin has his secrets too, secrets he doesn't feel comfortable telling me. Secrets that I need to know. And for me to even have the audacity to ask...I suppose that I'm going to have to offer up some of my own. In doing that...I remembered how hard it was. Showing your imperfections to the one you love can be a frightening experience. I only hope that I can work up the courage to do it before it's too late.

I've noticed a change in his confidence, despite his hesitation to share it with the rest of us. He's different somehow. While going to retrieve Gyro from a rather sinister situation, he seemed to jump into an entirely different mode. He can fight EXTREMELY well for a newblood. Extremely well for ANYBODY! And there's no real explanation as to why. Not even Dion will tell me what's going on anymore. I saw Justin fight last night after the fire escape collapsed. He doesn't thik I saw, but I did. Whatever it is that is possessing him, it has him just as baffled as it has me, and I don't know how to help him. I just wish to God he'd let me help him.

In the meantime...I'm searching my soul for ways to tell him about me. About who I am, and who I was. About my stepfather, and the sickening way he used to touch me. About leaving my mother and Alec behind the way I did. And...the reason as to why I'd know the exact location of a 'spice shack' flophouse on the south side of town. I was different then, dealing with a brand new world that I had no business in. I acted on the one impulse that I hesitated the most with...and regretted it more than he'll ever know. I pray that my need for him, my undying love for him, my obsession with finding a soul to match my own...didn't somehow force him to make a decision that I once felt so bad about. A decision that, even now, I sometimes wish I could take back.

Times will get harder, and whether Justin has felt yet or not...he'll be getting hungry again soon. They say that the first kill is the hardest, but it isn't. It's the realization that this is going to be your routine for the rest of eternity that makes it hard. He'll have to go through that pain again soon. We all will. I only hpe that my love and guidance can help to ease the pain.

If only for a little while.

Either way, my boyfriend is back in my arms. And we are prepared to face whatever it is that is coming our way. I won't leave him. I'd die for him.

I'd die for him....