Overview

Just a quick update to let everyone know that I will be having my bank cut another check to send down shortly. Comsie's mom was absolutely floored with the last check and we have another $700 and change to send her which she is not expecting ::grin::. I want to thank everyone for helping in this mission to make sure she has some help in attempting to rearrange her household budget now that it has been permanently reduced and impacted by the sizable expense of a funeral. She now knows that her son had a huge impact on more people than she could ever even fathom and that is an added legacy that she considers a gift now. I can tell you that she is a wonderful person who raised an absolutely amazing man and all the work put in was well worth it!. It does appear that donations are now starting to slow so I think we should plan to shut down the GoFundMe soon. Possibly let it ride through August and then turn off the lights. Know that you all have played another huge part in helping Comicality, by helping to look out for his mother now that he can only watch over her. I know it would mean a great deal to him. I personally can tell you that it has to his mother. For that I can never thank you all enough! ::HUGZ::

@MrM It feels like Mason's musical style has started leaning towards Elvis Presley, lately. And that's not a bad thing.

Hi everyone, This post is somewhat in response to quite a few emails I have received through IMAGINE Magazine regarding expiration of all that Comicality had built online. It needs to be said that all of his works always have been and for as long as it exists I'm sure that it always will be safe and sound. Both here on gayauthors.org and with everything hosted on the "Fort Family" servers. This includes his email address right along with his sites. The sites shackoutback.net and gfdbloodbank.com will continue to be maintained and of course imagine-magazine.org has resumed it's posting schedule for as long as there is interest. I am unable to resume the mail list as it was and really don't want to bother Myr every month to inform of magazine launches to have him relay the information. I am looking into options to replace that portion of communication but, my focus has been on recovering his community site work, and that is ongoing. So, if you have done what I have and and emailed Comsie to talk to him, for as long as I am around to maintain the hosting service, his email will never just bounce. It is unmonitored now with an autoresponder but, maybe somehow he's getting those messages anyway. I'd like to think so at least. ::HUGZ::

I was worried about this one because I thought we would have a hard time filling an issue without Comsie. Turns out he was with us right along. Thanks to Myke D,. The Story Lover, Turtleboy, ACFan, our 3D cast, and all the authors who lent us their work, we have Issue 105 and I think we did okay! (Of course I'm a little biased but... 😁) https://imagine-magazine.org/releases/volume-105/

Assembling the article now, thanks for the answers guys ::HUGZ::

Every few years this comes up somewhere. You could be looking back at an old favorite or something you read yesterday just sucker punches you in the thought processes and makes you reevaluate...everything! It's very rare that someone doesn't have one or two stories about a story that simply changed the game in a dramatic way. For me, I'm not going to focus on a Comicality story even though I could very easily. I know *gasp* right? But honestly, I'm sure he'd agree with this one. So back when I was sitting at my little desk in one of my very first apartments and tying up the phone line to crawl the internet, I found the Nifty Archive. There were quite a few stories being posted on the new platform that simply spoke to a side of me that I had spent an enormous portion of my life at that point hiding. I'd like to say that I was confused about my sexuality but that wouldn't be right. It was more of a self hatred for having to be different. I felt alone, I felt out of place, and I felt undesirable and broken. As I learned over the passing of time, I was not alone. But I was reading stories that portrayed relationships that were closer to what I felt was what I was looking for. The story that kicked me right in the chest was in that archive, but not what I expected at all and in my oppinion had no business in the internet's largest textual porn collection, LOL. It was a story by Gary Q. called: Patient John Doe. I don't remember specifically why I opened it and started reading it outside of the fact that I was opening just about everything and starting into it. If it held my attention out of the gate, I read it. If it had no story and jumped right into skin on skin with some unsuspecting boy, I was out. this story started straight into a short introduction of the character who would be our perspective, and following a very tense opening in the Emergency Room at the hospital he worked at, we would find our Patient John Doe struggling to hang on to life. It was at that point I realized I was invested and would spend every moment I could reading, or waiting for the next chapter. Now I have many stories from the late 90s into the early 2000s from before the launch of our online community, and this wasn't the first amazing work I had read but the sentiment laced into it's paragraphs kind of redefined what could be accomplished by the right author. I reached out to Gary Q. at some point and told him that I was absolutely in love with his story and he responded within a few hours, giving me my first glimpse of a personality that would serve to be my first partner in attempting to give back to the online community. Through him I met ACFan who is like a real brother to this day and began my journey in building my online family. In repurposing a crappy free forum I had built for my site to discuss Gary's writing we accidentally caught the attention of someone who wanted to nurture what we had started and our community was born... it all started with an accidental reading of Patient John Doe. To this day, the community that he helped to found hosts a full website dedicated to his known works located at https://garysgarden.us which we have been maintaining for about two decades at this point. The Gary's Garden I first got too know was much, much different: https://web.archive.org/web/20030812121135/http://www.koolpages.com/garysgarden/ and it is so funny to look back at it now, missing graphics and all. Such simpler times... So, Patient John Doe is that story for me as it redirected an enormous chunk of what I would decide to do with my time on the internet, including my ability to help IMAGINE Magazine 6 years ago and, up to our work to keep it alive through to today. All on the same server that hosts that one incredible story from so long ago. I'd say we've come full circle but, there are so many circles yet to go

For me it was definitely My Only Escape. For the longest time it felt like I was the only one who lived with the fear and panic I developed even after I was free of the clutches of my abuser. It was validation and I balled my ass off for myself after the first time I read the story. I cried for me. For my forgiveness. I cried because I realized it was finally over and I could talk about it. I cried because I realized someone else knew what I experienced..I mean really truly got it. I cried for them for their pain. Nobody ever put was that panic felt like into words quite like Comicality did and I will be forever grateful to him for it. Man I miss him.

Brandon Smiling, Book 2 is complete. Please enjoy the final chapters: 43-50 Thanks to those who have stuck with me through this particular book. It was a challenge. My thanks to the late Comicality for all his support. He will be dearly, dearly missed!

There is one thing I have learned that is really common feedback given to many amateur authors that even Comicality would be a little speechless when he got hit with. It is a comment that can be given as a compliment and is monumental the first time you hear it. I mean, we all hope that something we write resonates with a few readers and we can get that 'warm all over feeling' when someone says they enjoyed something we wrote. But the one that hits you right in the knees and catches you off guard is when someone says that something you wrote actually impacted their life. I mean, you would think of all people Comicality would have been used to hearing it but no, you never get used to hearing it and, often try to regain your footing again by telling yourself that the reader is just exaggerating or being kind. I've had a few conversations with him and with other authors and we all agree, it's something that is beyond gratifying to hear and normally is a little beyond belief. Often times it's a story that depicts the life you wish you had, the life you survived against all the odds, the life you just couldn't escape...something for just about every one of us was a real 'GAME CHANGER'. The one that gets us to step back and reevaluate our own situation or reminisce about something that was important to us. Often it feels like it mirrors something we experienced and is doubly amazing to hear coming from someone else. It happens way more than you would think. Most everyone I've ever talked to about it has one story that they instantly bring up when you hit the topic and it usually becomes a very passionate conversation as a result. As a reader you hope to find the next one and as an author, it is so cool to hear that someone else was as moved by your fiction as you were yourself. So for this month's question, what was your 'Game Changer' story and how did it fit into "Your" story?

This is so beautiful, and very-much needed!

There was a direct message for us all from his mother, it's posted here:

Robert Levey is incredible! He's not even 14 yet, and his voice is already so low!

@MrM Okay, Rap isn't my first choice of music, but this is so adorable.

The hardest step is always the first one... IMAGINE Issue 104 is now live. ::HUGZ:: to everyone who helped hold me up while getting this one put together. It means the world to me! - Jeff https://imagine-magazine.org/releases/volume-104/

Well said!!

I've always had a soft spot for Scotty Lynch and his infectious energy. He's cute and earnest and I love his go-getter attitude, he'd be a lot of fun to be around. So I guess that would be my pick. But it could be any of his characters, really. One of the things I really loved about Comsie's writing is that all his characters had that 'something real' that made them relatable. It's hard to pick just one because I've had that "I wish he was real" moment about ALL of them, whether it's wanting to give Zack or Billy Chase or Drew from 'On the Outside' a hug and let him know it's going to be okay, to just wishing I had a friend like Sam or Richie, to wanting to have a hot night with Deme and Jamie Cross (or punch AJ in the face, that would be satisfying ). But the character I really wish was real, is his self-insert 'Comicality' vampire character in GFD, because that would mean Comsie would still be with us.

I’d have to add Randy as a very pursuable boyfriend from New Kid In Town. While Ryan is very cute and sexy … what attracts me most is Randy’s heart. Just like Zack. Just like Taryn or even Justin too. For me it’s always been the heart that mattered most. That’s how I always saw Comsie. That’s what hurts so much for me when I learned he passed. His heart was so caring. I’ll never understand why ppl who have such an amazing heart pass away so soon. It just doesn’t seem fair

I’d have to say Billy Chase. Yes, Billy with all of his stupid mistakes, big heart, and convoluted thinking. He is a real three-dimensional person modeled after an obvious expression of Comsie’s own experience. Perhaps, Billy is the dream of what could have been for Comsie had he not had to live Zack’s existence in My Only Escape. One of the reasons I started writing Brandon Smiling was so that I could, sort of, inject myself into a reality where Billy really was my ‘boyfriend’ at fifteen. One of the magical things about being an author is that you can bend time, space, and reality to create a world in which you might want to live. Billy was the boyfriend I never got to have growing up. The time in which I lived and my family situation just didn’t allow for such things. Also, I never met anyone like Billy that would have been the right temptation for me to throw the life I had at the time away in exchange for something better. All I had were my own fears and insecurities to keep me company. So, Comsie managed to take an avatar of me at fifteen and sketch me like a caricature. He named me ‘Brandon’ and set me on a path of discovery to find Billy Chase and he did it through Billy’s eyes. Vicariously, I was able to live the ups and downs of a relationship I never got to experience as a teenager. It is a testament to Comsie’s ability to create three-dimensional, thoroughly realized characters that I was able to live a life I never got to live growing up. All of Comsie’s works can do this to some degree, but The Secret Life Of Billy Chase managed to do it with a depth of reality that I found the most compelling. So, yes, silly and imperfect Billy - I would have been his Brandon with all the obsession, jealousy, and insecurity that Brandon’s character represents.

Ok yes Zack is definitely a bit of a cheat and yeah he was mine too for many of the same reasons. But I often thought as I read MOE that I wish I had a Brody. Or at least, someone like him who pursued me and kept the positive reinforcement up and loved me despite my self loathing. Taryn is another

For the longest time my answer to this question would be an easy "Taryn" from Gone From Daylight, as after reading "Taryn's Song" my heart just broke from his origin story. Even when things were looking up for him, there was another test around the corner. Something else in his afterlife that was intended to trip him up and break him down. But right now, he's not front and center in my brain. My "I wish he was real..." character is/was to a certain degree very much real. I'm talking about "Zack" from "My Only Escape" which we all know is based the most closely on Comicality's real life situation in the overall story. Sure, every story he ever started has an aspect of his real life embedded in it but 'M.O.E.' gave us a real glimpse into what our Comicality survived from his past. The first time I ever read it, it was hard for me to see past my own situation with my biological father. He was another who got some kind of twisted entertainment out of dominating and tormenting his children and wife. Being the oldest, I caught the brunt of it and when he started turning his messed up games on my little brother or even younger sister, I would get loud and in his face so he would leave them alone, as I had done in the past to get him to leave my mother alone. Who had it worse, I don't know honestly. Same yet different except, Zack felt he had no one in his corner. Comicality, just like Zack was an only child with a working mother who simply wasn't able to know all that went on when she was at work, and Zack even demonstrates how he did what he could to not overwhelm her with the situation. In his eyes he was protecting her by soldiering on. In a way I guess this is cheating the question as Zack is or was in many ways actually a real person that I love and miss very much. In re-reading this story recently, I'm doing better at detaching my own past from the story. I'm finally not seeing my own father in the place of the father and Zack in my eyes is that young and tortured Comicality that I just want to hug and protect. Starting the read again, I find myself wishing I could be there to get between him and his father so he can focus on his crush on Brody without the storm cloud looming overhead. I wish he was real because I wish for some form of Comsie to not have this darkness be a part of their story. So, I'm going with Zack. For unspeakable acts, I'd probably have to say Billy Chase ~or~ Jake from Shelter, but that would be another answer for another question

After quite a few conversations with other readers of the works of my favorite online bossy boss ::giggle::, I've come to the conclusion that we all have many things in common when it comes to how we respond to the characters in our favorite "Shack" story. I think it's funny that of any other author, if you ever said you had an honest crush on their main character in 'X' titled novel, everyone in the room, including the author, would probably give you a weird look. That's commonly not the case with our Shack group and a day going by without some form of character crush being outed is an off day for any of us. (I see you nodding over there So, of all the stories that Comicality wrote, in all the worlds that he created, which character is your "I wish he was real..." character. You can wish it for any reason. You want to help him, you want to hug him, you want to be his boyfriend and do unspeakable things to him... You get the idea.

Remembering Comicality I’ve been trying to put something into words for days now and not being the consummate writer Com was it’s taken me a bit, especially as this was something I never thought I’d have to do….. at least not for several more decades. Like many of us old time “Shackers” I came across Com’s stories on Nifty, way back when we all had dial up modems, and Com was using his WebTV! But only started talking to him in 1999 while I was, ironically, recovering from being in hospital as I too nearly died. It started by my email saying how I was enjoying New Kid in School like so many of us and how it was keeping me occupied during my recovery. I was stunned when I got a reply from him less than 24 hours later, and not just a short email either! Since that day we stayed in regular contact either by email or as some will remember in the chat room on IRC, and even by written correspondence. Hehe, those group chats were always a lively affair, and he always was happy to see us in there with him. We had some deep conversations me and him over the years. (I’ve kept every single email, letter, card he sent) I remember in the early days as his popularity grew he was getting allot of “hate mail” and in one email to me he said “Dom I don’t think I can do this anymore, it hurts too much, all I want to do is make people smile but they just keep pulling me down” He was going to give it 6 months. Fortunately, with encouragement he carried on, and what a legacy he went on to create! One of our best conversations was over his and my love of drawing cartoons, but sadly he didn’t have many from his younger years because his dad destroyed them. So, I sent him some of the ones I had done when I was a kid, Thunder Cats and Roger Rabbit. When he had to move to Georgia, he still had them! He became a true friend; one I could confide in and most of all never get judged. Now that’s not to say he didn’t give me his opinions, and infuriatingly he was usual right! AND we kissed once! Hehe. His words not mine! One year he sent me a Christmas card which was in an envelope within an envelope, which to begin with I though was a bit odd until I pulled it out. Right in the middle he had drawn a circle and under it was a smiley face and the words “Kiss here, I did!” ….. So, obviously I did. When he asked did I kiss the same spot he said we had technically kissed! Typical Com always goofy! But that was Com, he never judged anyone. Always looked to see the best in people, encourage them, lend an ear and try to make everyone smile, even when he wasn’t able himself. Again, it hurt him deeply every time he felt he hadn’t been able to help someone, when the truth is he was in more need of it than most of us. I think one of the other things that bugged him was with popularity meant he couldn’t speak to everyone as often as he wanted, but he would always make as much effort as he could which resulted in allot of sleepless nights trying to catch up on emails and the like which couldn’t have been healthy! Com and I were the same age. Him being the elder by 1 month and 1 day! We had planned to meet up for our 40th when I was going to be in Chicago but sadly and again ironically, he had to go visit the family down south, we had discussed trying again for our 50th next year. He gave me a whole catalogue of must-see things including his beloved Navy Pier which he said I “HAD” to see, which I did. I might still try and go back next year, but it will be bittersweet if I can. When first writing this I had by the end of the first session nearly 6 pages! But even that doesn’t seem long enough. I mean how can you fit 25 years of friendship into words and do Comsie justice? It’s so very unfair that someone who gave so much, so selflessly has been cut short so early. He had such a tough life personally, not just with money but a tough childhood with a father that beat him and tried to break him down. Though I do honestly believe that because of those things it inspired him to be a force for others. I don’t think even at the end he truly realised what a huge legacy he had crafted, how much he impacted on so many lives. There is so much more I want to say about my friend, but I think I’ll leave it here for now. Plus, if it’s too long Jeff and the Imagine team will be cursing me out! Hehe So, I will end with this; Com you were one of my truest friends, you deserved better and more, but you achieved much to be proud of. I will miss you terribly, but will remember you fondly……. Always. Rest easy bud!

This is a great idea, Jeff. Thanks for getting it set up

So are these two:

Awww. Why are they so cute together?!