Song In My Heart - 4. Chapter 4

My phone started to ring the second we got upstairs. I figured it was Rose calling to tell me that she was on her way over but I should have known that this was all one of Rose’s tricks.

“Hey Kris how is your time with Mr. Right?”

“Just fine Rose, when are you getting here? We just made snacks and we are waiting on you.”

“Oh yea…umm I’m not coming. See I only said that to get him in the door your own your own now.”

“You have got to be fucking kidding me!”

I forgot Chance was even in the room with me when I said that. Looking over at him he raised an eyebrow and looked rather nervous as if he would dart out of the room at any moment. Turning I sighed to myself and tried to speak as calmly as I could.

“I'll give you a call later tonight WE will talk about this later Rose.”

“Have fun lover boy” She said laughing and I just shook my head and turned back to him throwing my phone on the bed.

“Rose isn't going to be able to make it. Something came up and she was a bit frazzled on the phone.”

“Oh, well I hope everything is okay. I can go so I don’t take up any more of your time. I’m sure you have other things to do.”

He got up quickly before I even had a chance to process what he was saying. He was halfway out the door when I reached out and grabbed his arm pulling him back in the room. To say I was nervous was an understatement. So much was going through my head in one single moment and then he looked at me and the world stopped. I use to never believe that there was any truth in love at first sight or even just looking someone can make the world stop spinning. But in this moment with his golden brown eyes and his black and orangish tinted hair that falling over them I knew without a doubt he was it…he was the one. I don't think he was breathing as he stood with his mouth slightly gapped open just looking at me. Slowly I removed my hand and backed away to give him some space because beyond those eyes he seemed truly terrified.

“Um…you don't have to go. I mean I won't keep you here if you don't want to be but there is no reason why we can't just hang out, maybe watch a movie or play some video games, or listen to music even?”

“Yea..”

He seemed to take a controlled deep breath and slowly come back into the room giving a small shy scared smiled that I swear made my heart melt. I wish that I could understand why this boy did this to me or even how he could just turn my insides to mesh with just a mere smile. I smiled back and moved over to my iPod docking station and turned it on.

“I’m not sure what last I was listening to but I figured some tunes might help a bit and we can maybe sit and get to know each other.”

He just nodded and made his way to sit at the computer desk while I sat across from him at the edge of my bed. The first song that came on was Pardon Me by Incubus and I saw him smile and nod which caused me to smile and nod back.

“So, tell me why you moved to a boring place like this?”

That question seemed to make him unease as he shifted in the chair and kind of looked away from me. He was holding so much back and I could do nothing but wish he would let it go.

“I don't know really my…my dad…decided it was time to get out of the city.”

“Ah, I’m guessing you didn't want to move out to a small town like this one huh.”

“It wasn't that really just…”

He closed his eyes and he seemed to tense up suddenly. Out of the corner of his eye I could see a single tear fall and it broke my heart. I got up and moved in front of him kneeling and reached my hand up to brush the tear from his eye. He liked to have jumped out of the seat then and as I watched him I could see the walls he has put up start to shatter.

“Don’t touch me!”

I still stood there kneeling but giving him a bit more space. He started to pant holding his chest and I couldn't take it anymore. I no longer was going to let him push me away when he needed someone. I got up and stood in front of him and just wrapped my arms around him and hugged him. My mom always told me when you are connected to someone, like I felt I was connected to Chance that you can share your energy with them and they could feel it. I wasn't sure how true this was but I just closed my eyes and held him even as he fought to get away and just tried to omit calming waves of energy to try and calm him down. He fought but I didn't let go. He started to cry and I didn't let go, and he finally broke down and I didn't let go. I reached my hand up to softly stroke his hair and did the only thing that I could think of to due and that was started singing.

I got a song in my heart, as it bleeds for you, it sings for you

I got a whisper in my soul; calling your name….it screams your name

And I never felt a love like this before…

And I never knew a heart could beat by a name.

I've got a song in my heart, it beats for you, and it lives for you

It didn't take long for him to start to calm down in my arms, and he even started to hold me back. Once he calmed down enough I slowly pushed him back to sit on the bed and didn't say anything while I went into the bathroom getting a cool cloth to place over his eyes. By the time I got back he was gone.

I can't believe I just broke down like that, in front of him of all people. Him! His voice was like angels singing to me but an angel is not what I need because I deserve to live with my demons. I deserve to live with this pain that’s inside because only until I have paid for what I have done may then and only then when I begin to let everything go. That time has not come yet so what else could I have done when I finally came to my senses but grab my things and run. If I had stayed he would have asked questions and questions lead to things I want to be as far away from as I possibly can right now. I stood right outside my house panting not even realizing that I ran a full sprint to get here. I pulled out my phone to check the time and realized my dad should be home. I guess when it rains it really pours. Thinking for a few moments I snuck in around the back because the odds are he is already too drunk to notice me not being home on time without notice. Sighing I made my way to the back opening the door as quietly as I could but you know when you are responsible for bad things happening bad things always have a way of finding you.

The second I turned around from closing the door a hard quick strike came across my face causing me to fall back against the door.

“Have you been out killing more people boy?!”

Hearing him even say that just brought tears to my eyes and I just shook my head no looking down.

“Look at me when I'm talking to ya! Where have you been and why is the house a mess?”

Another hit came this time swiftly to my side causing me to double over. He was always careful in not hitting my face too much at least he had some sense not to let people start to catch on. I could smell the strong whiskey on his breath even as he walked across the room to get his bottle.

“I was out. A kid at school...well his friend invited me over. I’m sorry it was stupid of me to go it will not happen again.”

“You damn right it won't happen again. You know you are to be in this house directly after school. You better not have been out being a fagot ass either cause if I find out your dead you hear me. I’ll put you in the place you put your mother and that’s in the ground you hear!”

I've learned to accept his words and not say anything back other than a “Yes Sir”. As I begun to move towards the living room to pick up whatever mess he claims was left in there is when I saw the bat in his hand and a sinister smile come across his face. My eyes grew wide as I started to back up towards the living room door.

“I don't think you really understand Boy. You mess up once and now you learn a lesson to where you won't mess up again. Understand.”

I was back in a corner and there was nothing that I could do. Perhaps one day I will not have to endure the punishment, perhaps one day I will have paid enough for what I have done. But today, today was not that day and soon the darkness set in.

I can't explain it but I could hear Chance screaming for help. I had fallen asleep not long after he left and even in my dreams I could hear him crying for help. The pulse was so strong it woke me up causing me to jump out of bed. It was then a broke out in a sweat as I tried my best to shake the feeling I just had that something was wrong and Chance needed me. I walked into the bathroom splashing some water on my face when I heard a woman’s voice saying “help him please.” I spun around because it was so loud and clear I swear someone was in the room with me. I couldn't ignore it. It was like a force took over my body propelling me out the door and straight Chance’s house. What this was, I just hope it was not too late….