Knots 5

Chapter 3

Matt

That fucking Andy came over my house Sunday morning and started talking about his hot threesome. It made me hard and that made it all the harder to tell him to stop. “Damn, Andy. I don’t want to hear this shit. I don’t care about your sexual exploits.”

“Yeah, but you’re my best friend.”

I pushed him down on my bed and stood over him. “You said the same thing last time. I don’t want to hear it. Got it? Best friends or not.”

“But…”

“But nothing. Just leave if you’re going to pull this shit again.”

He quickly got up from the bed and pushed passed me. “Fuck you then. I’m outta here.”

He stomped out of the room, and while I should have been pissed at him, I was more pissed at myself. Yeah, he was an ass for wanting to talk about his threesome, but hell, I wanted to hear all the juicy details, and at the same time it pissed me off that he had to brag about it. I broke down and called him.

“What the fuck do you want?” he said when he answered.

“Just to say I’m sorry.”

“It’s a little late for that now, but if you want, I’ll come over and we can talk.”

I closed the door to my room, sat at my desk, and put him on speakerphone. “Look, Andy. I’m sorry. I know you’re just excited. I’ve been there with you before, and I might even wish I was there with you guys this time. But that’s just the problem; I’m splitting myself in two. I have a date with Megan this afternoon, and I want to stay focused. I don’t want to be talking or thinking about the threesome or the foursome I missed out on. I’m only human, after all. Do you understand?”

“Yeah, I understand that you are a dumb shit. Just be gay and you won’t hafta worry about this kind of shit. You can just suck and fuck all you want. We could have a great foursome.”

“Don’t you think I know that? But you’ve already been with girls. I never have. In a way, Colt and I are the same. We want to find out more about who we are. How did you find out you preferred guys over girls?”

There was silence for a few seconds. “Well, uh. I went out with girls, and we fooled around, and it wasn’t bad, but when Dillon came along, I realized I preferred guys.”

“See. You know because you’ve been with girls.”

“Yeah, but I always thought I liked guys. Matt, you were always on my mind.”

I grabbed the phone off my desk, laid on my bed, and placed the phone on my chest. “Hey, you’re lying on my chest. Does that turn you on?”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“I put my phone on my chest.”

“You’re such a dumbass. No, I’m not turned on, but I could come over now and turn us both on.”

“I like the idea, but no thank you.”

Then he whispered, “Do you smell anything?”

“No.”

“You should. I put my phone up my ass and farted.”

I laughed out loud. “You’re enough to drive anyone crazy.”

“Tell you what. When you get back from your date with Megan, you can tell me about it, and I promise not to tell you about our threesome unless you ask.”

“I probably won’t have much to tell.”

“I figured as much, but I don’t mind being bored for a few minutes.”

“Well, wish me luck. Anyway, I already knew your phone was up your ass because your ass talks to me all the time. It’s asked me to lick it and fuck it often enough. Talk to you later.”

“Fuck you, Matt.”

“You too, Andy. Bye.”

“Bye.”

*****

Megan looked beautiful when I picked her up for our date. She lived in a nice two-story house in the same gated community as Zoe. I had dressed and redressed at least three times. Combed and re-combed my hair another three times before I finally decided enough was enough. I ended up wearing Dockers, a white polo shirt with wide blue stripes, and loafers. Megan greeted me in a black dress that accented her thin waist. The dress hung halfway down her thigh, and her legs were nice. I hate to say, her calves reminded me of Thomas’, smooth and nicely shaped. The time we had sex in the vacant house and I kissed and rubbed his calves flashed in my mind. I needed to refocus. The dress came up to just below her neck and had thick straps over her shoulders, where her hair hung over the top of the dress.

“Thank you, Matt. You don’t look too bad yourself.”

Megan’s dad came up behind her. “Hello, Matt. I’m Megan’s dad.”

Megan looked embarrassed. “Okay, Dad. You’ve met him. Are you happy?”

“Nice looking young man. I saw you play in a few games last year. I think you’re going to be pretty good. Sorry you had to drop out at the end of the season.”

“Me too. Life happens, you know?”

“Yeah, life happens.”

Megan turned back and gave her father the look. Okay, Dad, we’re going.” “Behave yourselves,” he said as he turned and left.

Megan gave me a friendly push. “Why are you standing there? Let’s go.”

I opened the car door for her, and she slid in with a sexy glide, her dress just moving far enough up her thigh to give me a good look. I closed the door gently then tried my best to slide into the driver’s side like I was a confident self-assured seventeen-year-old, which of course I wasn’t. “I like your dress,” I said.

“Thanks. I made it myself.”

“No! Really? I didn’t think girls did that kinda stuff anymore.”

“Maybe not, but I do.”

“I’m impressed.”

I started the car and headed to the movie theater. The car was silent for a bit until she put her hand on my arm and said, “You look nice too. Do you make your own clothes?”

“Of course not. Been bought and paid for by my parents and me.”

“No need to sound so defensive. I was just joking.”

“I know. Sorry.” I cleared my throat. “I talked to Thomas after your date. He said you’re friends now. Is that true?”

“You don’t think he’d lie, do you?”

“No. If anything, Thomas is too good for his own good.”

“So why’d you ask?”

“Just curious.” I didn’t know what to say next, so I asked, “Can we be friends?”

She leaned across the console and kissed me on the cheek. “I don’t see why not. Hell, I’ll have two gay friends. Makes me a little sad.”

“I’m not gay.”

“You could have fooled me. What are you then?”

I didn’t say anything at first. What was I going to say? Shit, I didn’t know myself. I cleared my throat and stared at the road ahead. “I…I…I think I’m bisexual.”

“Interesting. So that means I might have a chance?”

“A chance for what?” I asked as I gave her a quick look.

She gave me a coy grin. “I don’t really know. I’ll have to think about it. I’ve already gotten further with you than I did with Thomas.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, he wasn’t interested in me at all. You are.”

I didn’t say anything. When in doubt, it’s better to just keep your mouth shut, and let the other person talk. Only problem was, she didn’t say a word until we turned into the theater parking lot. “What’s wrong? Cat got your tongue?”

“No.”

“Relax, Matt. I’m not going to eat you. You’re not very confident for the guy who might be next year’s starting quarterback. I think it would be cool to be dating the varsity quarterback.”

“Um, Megan, aren’t you getting a little ahead of yourself?”

She put her hand on my thigh. “Just want you to know I’m interested.”

I twitched. Couldn’t believe it. It was like someone suddenly jumped out at me and said, “Boo.”

My cock moved a little.

Then she said, “We don’t have to go to the movie. We could do something else?”

“Uh. Like what?”

“Go for a drive.”

“I…I…I think we should go to the movie. Your dad wouldn’t like it and might ask questions about it when we get back.”

“You don’t have to come in and talk to my dad. I know enough about it to convince him.”

Her remark about being next year’s quarterback suddenly gave me some backbone. “Look, Megan, this is our first date. I like you. I want to get to know you. You’re moving too fast.”

“Are you sure you’re not gay?”

That kind of pissed me off. “Listen, my sexual preference isn’t the issue here. I told you I think I’m bisexual, but I haven’t been out with a girl since Gina a couple of years back, and I want to go slow.”

“Most guys would jump at the chance do to more.”

“Not me.”

Then she let out a laugh. “Hey, I’m just fooling around with you. I’m not that kind of girl.”

“What about you and Zoe going after Thomas and Colt?” “Just fun. We wanted to see if we could get them to go out on a date with us, and we did.”

“Well, Megan. It’s a lot more serious than your little game. Colt is taking about breaking up with Thomas so he can date Zoe.”

She smiled. “Really? Cool!”

“No, not cool.”

“Well, that’s between Colt and Thomas and Zoe,” she said. “I have nothing to do with it. Thomas and I are going to be friends, and I’m hoping you and I can be friends, and maybe a little more than just friends. Can you live with that?”

I was a little angry by then, but did my best to calm down. “Listen, Megan. I’ve been through a lot in my short seventeen years, especially over the last year and a half. I don’t need any more drama in my life. Can’t we just date and be friends? Let things take their course and see what happens. Can you live with that?”

“Yes. You know you’re cute when you’re angry.”

“I suppose I should say thanks, but I’d rather not be angry.”

“Okay. Don’t be angry. Let’s see the movie, and we can go out for a drink after. Is that okay?”

“Yeah. That’s what I figured we’d do.”

It surprised me when she waited for me to open the door. “Thank you, sir.”

“Think nothing of it, ma’am.”

She stepped out, I grabbed her gently by the arm, pulled her into me, and planted a big long kiss on her lips. “Feel better now?”

She smiled and then kissed me on the cheek. “I sure do.”

Thomas and Colt

Colt wasn’t sure if he should call Thomas or go to his house to give him his decision. He paced back and forth in his room, picked up his cell phone twice and on the third time, finally called Thomas. “Thomas, I’m going to take you up on your offer.”

Silence, then, “What do you mean?”

Colt didn’t want to explain. “You know. You said I could fly.”

“What’s your definition of flying?”

“Why are you doing this? You know the answer.”

“Yeah, but I want to hear it from you. Why don’t you come over and talk to me to my face?”

“I don’t know. This seemed easier.”

“Easier on whom. You or me?”

“Me, I guess.”

“So are you coming over, Colt, or are you going to take the coward’s way out?”

Silence, then, “I’ll come over.”

*****

Thomas was lying on his back on the bed when Colt entered the room. He didn’t say anything, so Colt sat down at the desk. “Aren’t you going to say something?”

Thomas stuffed the pillow under his head. “The ball’s in your court.”

Colt squirmed in the chair. “Thomas, you told me I could fly, and now you make it feel like you want to tie me down so I can’t.”

“Bullshit, you’re tying yourself down. I told you you could fly. That’s the term you used, and I want you to tell me what you mean.”

“You already know.”

“Like I said, I want you to hear it in your own words.”

Colt walked to the bed and attempted to lay down beside Thomas. Thomas pushed him away. “Just tell me.”

“I thought maybe we could lay together and talk.”

“It appears we’re no longer lovebirds, so stand there and tell me.”

Colt stood over him. “Okay. If that’s what you want. I want to date Zoe and maybe other guys. That’s what I mean by fly.”

Thomas sat on the edge of his bed. “I thought it meant you were only going to date Zoe.”

“I thought about it, and if I’m going to fly, I want to soar.”

Thomas put his head in his hands and then looked up. “You’re so full of shit. I’m trying my best to be a good boyfriend and give you a chance to date Zoe, and now you just want to fuck around with anyone you want?”

“I thought that’s what we agreed to.”

“Colt, it’s up to you. You can do what you want. But don’t count on me being here after you soar.”

“But…but…I thought you were fine with this.”

“I’m doing my best, but you’re taking this further than I expected.”

Colt sat back down at the desk again. “Thomas, I need to find myself. You offered to let me. I love you for that. But now you’re making it hard on me. What happened to our still being friends?”

Thomas laid down on the bed. “We’ll still be friends. Friends without benefits. You can get your benefits somewhere else. We can talk and do things together. That’s what friends do.”

Colt began to cry. “But Thomas, it won’t be the same because we’re boyfriends. Can’t we just keep it like it was and mess around with other people? You can too.”

Thomas put his hands behind his head. “I don’t want to date other people, but if you do, then I might. How do you feel about that?”

“I don’t know. I honestly don’t know. I love you, Thomas, but I don’t want to be tied down. I want to experience life.”

“Experience life? Do you have any idea how you sound?”

Colt wiped his eyes and brushed the tears off his cheeks. “No. I’m telling you how I feel.”

Thomas got up off the bed and walked over so he stood in front of Colt. He put his hands on Colt’s shoulders. “Look. I love you, and because I do, I think you should do what you need to do. But remember, when you fly away, then I’m free to fly too.”

“That doesn’t seem fair because this was about you letting me fly. Not about you flying,” Colt said as he brushed Thomas’ hands off his shoulders and stood. “But if that’s what you want, then I agree. We’ll both fly.” He moved toward the door.

“Colt, things aren’t always as simple as we’d like. Trust me. I’m afraid you might crash and burn.”

Colt turned back. “Don’t worry. I won’t. You should follow your own advice.”

“Colt, I’ve already crashed and burned. I know what it’s like. I’m tougher and maybe you’ll have to crash and burn before you understand. I’ll be here if you need me.”

“I love you, Thomas,” Colt said as he returned to Thomas and hugged him. “I really love you. I really do.”

“I love you too. Goodbye, Colt.”

Colt turned and left, wiping tears from his eyes. Thomas wanted to cry but couldn’t. He felt cold, so he climbed into bed, pulled the covers up to his chin, and laid there with his eyes wide open.

Andy

It was a boring Sunday. Matt was out with Megan, and Ashton and Scott said they were busy. Busy doing what I wondered. Suddenly, a lonely feeling came over me. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I surfed porn on the Internet, but got bored. Couldn’t even get a hard-on. There’s nothing like the real thing. Then I read some gay stories on gayauthors.org and they made me want to cry. So many were about gay couples who loved each other. Yeah, they may have had their problems, but eventually everything worked out in the end. I wondered if that would ever happen to me.

If I were Matt, I would have read a book, but I only like to read porn.. My dad was watching a baseball game, so I sat with him and made small talk until I got bored. Then I went into the kitchen and made a sandwich. My mom was putzing around in the kitchen.

“Mom, I’m bored.”

“Sorry to hear that. Your grandmother used to tell me that only boring people are bored.”

“Do you think she was right?” I took a bite of my sandwich.

“No. I never thought of myself as a boring person. And I know for sure you’re not.”

I smiled. “You’re right about that, but my life seems all screwed up.”

“What do you mean?”

I set the sandwich down on the plate and looked at her as she washed a couple of dishes. “I’m not sure. You know, when Matt and I were going to see Dr. Walker, it seemed like everything was going right. He made me see things clearly. Now it’s just all messed up.”

She turned to me. “Do you want to go back?”

I paused a couple of beats. “I don’t know. Maybe. I’m not sure. It seems like I should be able to make it on my own.”

“You’re right, Andy. You should, but sometimes we need a guide.”

“I know. But…but…I don’t know. I’d like to see him, but the idea makes me feel like I’m weak. You know, too weak to handle the problems myself.”

“Do you think being bored is a serious problem?”

“No, but it seems to be more than that.”

She sat down at the table and reached for my hand resting next to my plate. “Talk to me. I’ll listen.”

“Mom, I’d like to, but I can’t. It’s too personal.”

“I see. Do you want us to set up an appointment with Dr. Walker?”

Her hand on mine made me feel secure. “I don’t know. Maybe.”

“Would you feel better talking to your dad?”

“I don’t think so.”

She squeezed my hand and then patted it. “I’ll call Dr. Walker and set up an appointment.”

I lowered my eyes and then looked back up to her kind loving face. “Okay. Thanks, Mom.”

_____________________________________________________

Chapter Quotes

If you want the rainbow, you have to deal with the rain. – Author Unknown

I'm not different for the sake of being different, only for the desperate sake of being myself. - Vivian Stanshall

Creativity is more than just being different. Anybody can plan weird; that's easy. What's hard is to be as simple as Bach. Making the simple, awesomely simple, that's creativity. - Charles Mingus