Suicide Note - 3. Coming Out Story

Coming Out Story

For the first time he was feeling so insecure to enter the apartment. He knows nobody is in there. In fact, nothing is there. The lovely smile that met him every time he opened the door was nowhere to be found. The beautiful icy blue eyes that shone every time he looked into them were no longer there. The laughs, happiest moments, and enormous Love were gone. It was all gone with Davy.

He entered into a dead silent bed room. There was a picture frame on the wall at the head of the bed, a beautiful boy was smiling. The boy is none other than his boyfriend. That picture was taken by Francis himself when Davy got his first salary and threw a party for their friends. Of course Davy didn’t know when the picture was taken. After all Francis was a secret admirer at first. He touched the picture where Davy forced him to sign. 'Fran' is the nick name his best friend, Zowie, had given to him. He loved the short name for him and put wherever he had to sign. He even shortened Zowie to Zoe and tease Zowie by calling him with that all the time.

Francis had known that he liked boys since he has had any actual feelings. But because of his parent’s divorce, he was too insecure to tell anybody about it. Actually he doesn't know who his father is. So wanting to be strong enough for his mother has made him put his feelings aside. Even his best friend Zoe didn’t know for the first six years.. It was totally accidental that he came out to his best friend two years ago, and it’s also because of this photo. He was thinking back how it all happened.

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One day Fran had locked himself in his bed room saying he was ill, and checking on his camera to upload pictures into his PC. The camera had been a gift from his mother as his birth day present, so he had gotten the habit of photography. He was one of the contributors for the school's year book. He was uploading his new pics, mostly of David. He was checking on all the pictures but one picture caught his eyes. He remembered the situation; David was smiling at his lame joke. It was genuine and pure. 'Sexy' was the exact word that played into Francis mind. The emotion was gone but for the sight caught by his camera's eye.

He was so tempted by those rosy lips he just leaned in and kissed the screen exactly where David's lips were.

"Oh shit..." Was all he heard.

Fran was dumbfounded because he surely knew the voice from which those words were delivered. He was stunned how on earth his friend had come into the room. He looked at the door where it was locked still. He turned to see where his friend was struggling to get his head out of his window.

"Oh God, Fran... little help here..." Zoe was shouting from the window, where he had gotten stuck while he was sneaking in.

'Thank God he hadn’t seen anything.' Fran thought in his mind. And said "What in the hells' name you are doing there?" Laughing and securely shutting his computer down.

"I am gonna kick your ass if you don't help me"

Fran took the opportunity to tease him, "I think you have to ask like 'please help me, my ass got stuck'. Or something like that."

"Kiss my ass..." Zoe grunted trying to get out.

"No. I don't like your ass." Fran replied smiling.

"Oh... Just help me you freaking Frankenstein..."

"Ok, calm down. And don't wiggle your butt. Hahaha..." Fran laughed out while helping his friend to get himself into the room through the window.

Zoe bounced like a lion escaped from the trap and jumped on Fran and started to tickle him. Fran struggled to save himself from his friend's harassment.

"God. Hahaha... Stop... Hahaha" Fran was rolling under Zoe.

"Say you got your lesson..."

"No..." Fran Shouted laughing.

"OK then, be my guest." replied Zoe. They were rolling like that for some time and Fran thought he was not going to win the game. Finally he declared he was done.

"Ok, ok. I got it"

"What? I can't hear you."

"I got my lesson, now leave me!" Fran threw Zoe off of him onto his bed.

They are laughing like two children, rolling on the bed. They have been like that from the start of their friendship. They don't even know they have been laughing for fifteen mins, or that they are now breathing normally. They are just being them. But something has changed in fractions of seconds.

"Are you gay Fran?" Zoe asked out of blue.

"Wh... what?" Fran was terrified and answered "N... No!!!"

Zoe was looking at him with a serious look on his face, resting his head on his left hand. Laughter died and there was a serious vibe in the room. Zoe looked at Fran with pleading eyes to tell the truth. Fran was struggling for words. He was breathing heavily.

"I had seen you kissing that hmm... that boy's picture, that crazy boy from your class!?" Zoe questioned as calm as possible. Fran was silent, and the look didn’t go away. So he continued "I don't wanna intrude. I was just about to go, but my head got stuck."

Silence...

"I am not going to force you to talk about something you don't want to."

Silence...

"If you don't want to tell me, it’s Ok."

A tear rolled down from Fran's left eye. But he is still silent...

"I'll think it never happened. We will be fine like old times."

Silent again...

"Get some rest. I will come back later." Said Zoe disappointedly and rose to leave. He reached for the door and again looked towards his friend. But he was still silent and his head was down, probably crying. Disappointed, he turned to go, but stopped when heard some whispering.

"Did you say something?" Zoe asked his friend.

"Sss... Sorry" Fran replied between silent sobs.

"Sorry for what?"

"Sorry I hadn't told you before." Sobbing still, he continued "It’s... It’s not that I don't believe you..."

"You should have told me, if you believed me." Zoe snapped at his friend and tried to control his disappointment and anger.

Fran shot a glance at his friend, his misty eyes mixed with lots of emotions. Zoe turned back to hide his tears from his best friend. Fran ran to him, hugged him from behind and started to cry. They both emotionally melted into each other’s embrace and their tears were the proof of their friendship. They knew they cared about each other. Their trust for each other was beyond doubt.

They are about the same age, but Zoe was three inches taller than Fran. Zoe just held him tight while Fran cried on his shoulder like a little brother. After an hour of crying, they both were finally breathing normally again.

They sat at the foot of the bed. Zoe was silent and had no facial expression. He was calm and thinking. Fran knew there were lots of questions Zoe wanted to ask but didn’t know how. Fran knew one thing in particular, he can trust Zoe. It doesn't matter whether he liked it or not, he had to talk to Zoe.

To break the silence Zoe asked Fran "Can I see those pictures of him???"

"Why not?!!" Fran smiled and turned on his computer.

He opened the folder where he hid the pictures. There are a bunch of pictures which gave Zoe both shock and a mesmerizing feeling. There are even pictures from when they were twelve. Zoe looked at his friend and raised his eyebrow in a questioning way.

"You know that my mom gave me the camera when I was twelve." Fran said.

"What... You’ve known from twelve and you never told me." Zoe said it more like a sentence than a question.

Fran dropped his head down feeling guilty. Zoe had gone through all the pictures, commenting on each photo. It’s been an hour and half, they checked almost all of them.

"Wow... This looks amazing. It is the picture that you were kissing, right?" Zoe teased his best friend. Fran was bursting with a blush and a huge smile planted on his face which is making him more pinkish. Zoe is making it worse on him by teasing him more.

"Stop it. You are not helping." Fran was totally embarrassed by it.

"You really love him, don't you?" Zoe seriously asked Fran.

"More than my life" Fran replied, a smirk came into his face and said "I kissed him when we were eight."

Zoe was all like 'what' and said "You know you are a real bitch??"

"What do I do? We just joined the school and he was being shy. So I dragged him along and we were together the entire day." Fran explained, "Finally it was time to go to home. I don't know what got into me and I didn’t wanna miss the opportunity. I kissed him.

"Do you even know the spelling of Kiss at that age?"

"Yeah... It’s KIS. Right?"

Zoe rolled his eyes in the gesture of his Friend's lame joke.

"You know, I did it in front of his mother." Fran said smiling.

"You did it in front of his mother?" Was all Zoe got out because of the shock.

"I didn’t even know the meaning of romance at that age. And after all, its just a simple peck on the lips though." Fran explained

"What happened next?"

"Ohh... He was absent for the entire week. He didn’t talk to me after that. I don't know why." Fran was serious.

"You embarrassed the poor guy in front of his mother. That's what it is." Zoe made his expression.

"Whatever the reason, I have actually been following him since then. I had taken each and every class he was taking." Fran got silent.

"Why don't you tell him?" Zoe suggested Fran.

"This time he will leave the town if I approach, probably the country itself." Fran said disappointedly.

"Yeah. Because you look like Justin Bieber's ass" Zoe joked to make his friend laugh.

"That's why you like me... ha, because you like JB's ass" countered Fran laughing out loud and leaned towards Zoe to tickle.

"Are you going to kiss me or what?" Zoe joked observing his friend's approach.

"Never in the hells' name I am going to do that!" laughed Fran, making a face at his friend.

Again the tickle fight started. And they were laughing like two kids who are watching a comedy flick on TV. They are back from their trauma, and became a set of best friends again. But now they don't have any secrets between them.

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The sound of someone's footsteps brought Francis to the earth. A man, six feet tall and muscular, was standing exactly behind him. Francis knew who he was.

"Are you Mr. Francis???" The man asked with his commanding tone.