A New Year - 2. Weed clearly makes you miss huge details

Fuck. His name was Layne. Layne totally gave me head the night before. I totally forgot his name. And now Layne is totally my waiter? My poor hungover brain didn’t know what to do so I stared at him while he stared at me with this really attractive but unnerving smirk on his face.

“I….uh...” I couldn’t even stumble out an order. Lisa, whilst giving me a face that clearly said “Dude what the fuck?”, finally took over and ordered our drinks and entrees. Layne flashed that stupid, dazzling smile and walked away.

“Dude what the fuck,” Lisa started. “Did you just notice that Layne was super fucking hot or what?”

“Wait you know Layne?” I sputtered, almost choking on my water.

“Of course I know Layne. He’s been our waiter since we first started coming here.” She ended the statement like it was a question, clearly confused about my wellbeing.

“He’s been our waiter for that long?”

“Yes. What are you trying to get at? What’s happening?”

“Layne was the guy from last night.”

“Wait. What?” Her eyes widened and her mouth opened and spread into a shocked smile. “Are you fucking with me?”

“No. He’s the guy from last night. For real.”

“Layne – the boy next door waiter – was the minx from last? I can’t believe it.”

“Well he damn sure wasn’t a boy next door last night.” I replied as I took a sip of my water. Before Lisa could say anything else, Layne came back with our coffees and placed them down on the table with a smile before spinning away again.

“So you’re telling me,” Lisa started. “you’ve never noticed Layne until today?”

“No. Every time I come here I’m either blazed out of my mind or hungover out of my mind. Fucking Beyoncé could serve me for a week and I probably wouldn’t remember or notice it was the goddess herself.” I shrugged.

“You’re a mess, you know that right?” Lisa laughed.

“Bite me.” I replied with a roll of my eyes.

**

Lisa called for the check and the lovely Layne whisked by and pushed the book toward me with a wink.

“Oooooh okay,” Lisa started with a smile and raised eyebrows. “Open it!”

I did and read aloud what the little note on the check said. “Meet me in the bathroom?”

“Well shit.” Lisa exclaimed.

“I know right. I guess it’s time to go.” I said to Lisa as I got up.

“What?”

“What do you mean what? Clearly he has some type of ‘bathroom hookup at work kink’ and I’m totally not gonna be a part of that. So it’s time to go.” I pulled my wallet out and put my half of the money down and looked at Lisa with my eyebrow arched.

“I mean I guess.” Lisa said with a sigh as she laid her half down and got up.

We were halfway down the block when someone called my name.

“Hey! Ren! Wait!” I turned to see Layne running towards me. He stopped in front of me and caught his breath.

“Why the hell are you chasing me?” I asked, more surprised than irritated.

“You…didn’t meet me in the bathroom.” Layne huffed quickly.

“I mean I’m all for hookups and all–”

“Hookups? You thought I wanted a hookup?”

“Well duh. Why else would you invite me to the bathroom?”

“To talk to you without getting fired?”

“Oh.” Layne flashed me a smile and I felt my cheeks warm slightly. He was like one of those damned sparkly anime characters when he smiled.

“I wanted to ask you out.”

“What?”

“You see…I’ve had a crush on you for a while.” I looked at Layne dubiously.

“We literally just met last night.”

“Yeah but I’ve been your waiter forever. You’ve just been too hungover or too high to notice. Last night was my chance to finally talk to you. But you were clearly blasted out of your mind,” I made a face. “Don’t make that face. I was blasted with you.” He gave me one of those dazzling smiles again. “So…will you go on a date with me? I really wanna get to know you.”

“I…uh…”