Sibling Rivalry - 1. Chapter 1

I call it the "Smithsonian Theory". I made it up in the 8th grade when our class took a trip to Washington DC and got to see the Smithsonian Museum. There were all these wonderful exhibits, so many historical artifacts. But they teased you by putting them right in front of you and telling you to keep away. So close and yet so far. They made it clear that I was never to touch any of it, never to hold it in my hands, or feel its smooth texture. It was just beyond my reach, and they dangled it in front of me while I fidgeted and squirmed, wishing and dreaming that one day I could fully enjoy it without society's little limitations. That temptation, that constant taunting, that's what I called the "Smithsonian Theory"...and that's exactly what I used to describe how I felt about Joey.

My name is Ben, and I'm 13 going on 14. I've been the baby of the family all my life, I had one sister who just left for college last summer, and my brother Cory who was just a little bit older than me and going to the same high school. Cory was the middle child of the family, shouldn't he have been the one dying from lack of attention? We were brothers, and we used to get along really well when we were little. Well...I guess we still do, but since then, as much as I hate to admit it, I've grown to resent him. Cory was athletic, witty, funny, popular, a good dresser, well motivated...he was so perfect that my parents just adored him, and even though they made a good attempt to give me equal attention, I was always in his shadow. I thought that maybe I could at least beat him in the brains department, but he brought home all good grades too! And as far as looks go, he was gorgeous. He had this windswept blond hair and dimples, and blue eyes that could brighten a rainy day in seconds. He was every girl's fantasy boy. He had everything. I was no slouch though. I was pretty good looking too, I was no Cory, but I had my moments. I dyed my blond hair a deep shade of crimson just to disassociate myself from him in every possible way. I was smart, but it seemed like I got the 'artistic' genes in the family. I had weird ideas and an offbeat sense of humor that most people just didn't get. They didn't understand me, and what's worse, they didn't really try. While Cory seemed to just breeze through his classes with his charm and his good looks, I always felt I had to work harder to make an impression on anybody. My teachers always questioned my work, asking why I made the choices I did, or why I went so far on my own instead of following the guidelines of the assignment. I just wanted to express myself, I guess high school isn't really the place for that. The biggest difference between me and Cory, that nobody knew about besides me, was that Cory was undeniably straight and I was just discovering that I wasn't. Cory had everything going for him, good looks, brains, a sense of humor, popularity, and a future with a wife, children, a white picket fence and all. What did I have? An attraction to other boys and a little artistic talent. I just learned to live with the fact that I'd never be anything more than Cory's brother. It's not that I didn't love him, I just didn't like him all that much. Call it jealousy if you want, but it was my only defense at losing what was left of my self esteem. However, it wasn't all of those other things that made me hate him for being so perfect, it was that one thing that he had that I didn't that drove me crazy. It was something that, again, was just handed to him and was just so easy for him to get. That one thing that he possessed and just didn't deserve...he had Joey. How can another guy, someone so straight, so perfect, possibly know how special and blessed they are to have someone like Joey by their side? How could Cory possibly appreciate someone so beautiful, so majestic, so cool and fun and sensitive. I never believed in soul mates until I met Joey, and now I knew I'd never be completely happy without him. And they were just friends! Can you imagine? FRIENDS! Cory just doesn't understand how much I wish I could trade places with him when it came to Joey. He was the light of my life, the fire in my soul, the subject of every wet dream I've ever had. He was so beautiful, if only he could see that same beauty in me.

Joey was by far the cutest and sexiest teen boy that I've ever seen in my life. The hell with the other boys at school, the boys in the mall on Saturday afternoon, the skateboarders down the block, the kids in the teen magazines and on TV...Joey beat them all hands down, and I'd take him over any other good looking boy on the planet. They just didn't match up. Joey had this medium length hair that was a shiny color between light brown and blond. I still can't really tell which color he's closer to. His awesome hair just looked so soft and silky, I always wanted to run my fingers through it and feel its satin smooth texture. It was parted in the front, but it looked like the part wasn't wide enough. The shiny locks would often come around and stop just on the outside of his beautiful baby brown eyes. The strands would hang down to his chin and it just looked like it tickled whenever he moved. Joey's face was so cute that I often waited impatiently to see him push his hair back to see a little more skin on his soft cheeks. Just an inch, that was all I asked for. He was just so awesome. I would have to make an effort to keep from sighing out loud whenever I saw him. One time, I saw him drinking a root beer that my mom had given him at the kitchen table, and just watching him sip from that bottle made me hard as a rock. As he leaned his head back, as if in slow motion, his hair would gradually slide back and hang slightly from his head, His shiny strands reflecting every ray of sunlight that passed through it. His slightly puckered pink lips would be molded to the end of the bottle, and his tender neck would gulp and swallow rhythmically as he drank it dry. God...what it must feel like to be that bottle. I don't think I've ever wanted anybody more.

Joey was only a year and a half older than me, the same as my brother, but it might as well have been a hundred. Joey's slim figure, his thin lips, his gentle, almost feminine brown eyes, were never to be mine, and I knew it. Cory an Joey were on the soccer team together, and he brought Joey home one day after winning their first game. I can remember seeing him for the first time like it was five minutes ago. His gorgeous features, his hairless legs exposed from his silken soccer shorts, his knees muddy from a hard played game. My brother introduced us right away, but I'm not half the conversationalist he is, and I figured that Joey just wrote me off as Cory's dork of a brother.

Joey and Cory became inseparable really quick, and nothing could have hurt me more. It wouldn't have been so bad if he had just come over that one day and left it at that, but Joey was always over. He was always watching sports with Cory, giving high fives to Cory, talking about this and that with Cory, and Cory just sucked it all up. He didn't even know what he had! Joey, this angel faced young Adonis was his best friend, and all I could think was that my brother just didn't deserve to be with him. How could even a straight guy not notice how gorgeous this kid was, how could anyone not notice. I think that everyone probably did, but put it out of their minds. Joey had the kind of beauty that makes everyone do a double take and venture into that deep dark place in their soul where desire holds no limitations, no boundaries. The place where man's basic instinct for love dwells in silence. I knew that if given the chance, I could make him so happy. I'd gladly get down on my knees and beg for the chance to have Joey by my side. I even went to bed crying some nights because no matter what I did to get Joey's attention, my brother was always in the spotlight. The two of them had a bond that I could never have. My brother the sports nut, my brother the ladies man, my brother the comedian...as much as I disliked his popularity, I would give my life to just be him for a single day. Just so I could touch Joey's hand, or talk to him, or maybe even be able to throw an arm over his shoulder and have him do the same. I wanted to know what was on his mind, what was in his heart, what he was thinking at every moment of everyday of his life. I never thought I'd fall for him, but dammit to hell, he was just soooo cute and sweet that I couldn't help it. 'Sigh'...what could he ever see in someone like me?

Cory was so well known around school, that everybody knew him by name. Conversation just came so easy for him, I guess it was all the practice. How did he do it? Sure people said 'hello' to me in the halls, but they just seemed so much closer to Cory. They would tell him their deep dark secrets, and they would ask him for advice when they needed it. In other words...they actually took him seriously. No one ever cared what I had to say all that much. Sure, I was cool to dump their problems on, or to cheer them up when they needed an ego boost, but when it came time for the really important questions, they all went to Cory. Joey was the same way. I kept trying to tell myself that they were just friends, and they were, but God how it hurt me to know that Joey confided in someone else besides me. That he felt more comfortable with Cory than with me, that he just saw me as the quiet little brother of his best friend, and nothing more. I started thinking that he hated me, that he just didn't love me at all and he never would. And why should he? I wasn't what he was looking for, I wasn't what he wanted.

So I attempted to be realistic about the whole thing and just put him out of my mind. I tried soooo hard not to fall in love with him, really I did, but it was unavoidable. I shied away from him whenever he came to the house, I didn't want to talk to him, or see him, or even acknowledge him. But every time he crossed my thoughts, I had to look over and stare at him. Sometimes, he would catch me looking, and a wave of excitement would rush through me and I'd have to turn away. But it would soon fade away as quickly as it came on. I felt sad and alone because there was no chance that he was gay. And even if he was, he would have fallen madly in love with Cory long before he ever got around to me. That's just the way things worked with me.

I'll never forget he first time I ever wanted to fool around with another boy. I was so happy! I thought that maybe I had a chance at finding that kindred spirit, that one true 'better half' that was going to make me whole. But...as soon as I brought him home, it only took about 20 minutes, he fell in love with my brother. He even had the nerve to ask me if he could call me Cory during sex! Needless to say, I'm still a virgin. No way was I going to get him off while he fantasized about my gorgeous blond sibling. So knowing that I was so much more in love with Joey, I saw an extremely painful pattern forming. And even though they were just friends, it didn't hurt any less. It wasn't like they were making mad passionate love somewhere, even though I had many nightmares about it, but just knowing that they were together without me involved made me jealous. And I don't think I'll ever be able to understand why. They had so much, and I didn't. I just wanted to be loved by somebody. I needed it more than anything, and it just tore me up inside. Maybe I was just reaching too far, maybe Joey was way out of my league. Maybe I was just being stupid to think a guy like that would ever be attracted to a guy like me, or attracted to boys at all. But it never made me want him any less, no matter how much I rationalized it out, my heart always held out an told me there was a chance. Sometimes...depression is a bitch.

It was a Saturday afternoon, Cory and Joey were coming back from winning their soccer game, doing the usual 'buddy-buddy' thing in the living room. I always hated it when I was on the couch, and the two of them came in the room to join me. I'm not really all that antisocial, but as long as I was alone I didn't have to try to impress anybody. Or worse...disappoint anybody. Joey plopped down on the couch next to me and said "What's up?"

Joey always made an effort to talk to me, but I didn't want to be his 'relief buddy' while Cory fetched them some sodas, I wanted so much more than that. I knew that the second I started talking to him that I'd look into those awesome eyes and those luscious lips, and I'd fall even deeper in love and be more desperate than ever. And when he and Cory started fooling around and joking with each other, I felt left out, hurt, and alone. I would often disappear, or sulk quietly, refusing to talk to either one of them, hoping that they'd notice, hoping that they'd care. But they didn't seem to mind...the party always went on without me. I didn't know what I wanted really. If he talked to me I shied away from him, if he didn't talk to me, I was offended. What was wrong with me? It's not like I could expect the whole world to stop just so I could be happy, but just once I wished that things would come as easily and as readily as it did for my brother.

Joey and Cory also had a bad habit of calling me 'kiddo' when they were together. I'm sure that they didn't mean it in a bad way, but it always made me feel like less of a person. The younger sibling, the invisible party in their friendship. But I'll just stop here, because like I said, I really don't like to whine.

Joey went on and on for a few minutes about the game and how him and Cory kicked the other team's ass. I tried not to look directly at him, but I didn't want to be rude either. So I kind of watched him every few seconds, letting my eyes roam around the room between glances. He was so cute, that at one point he laughed and I actually got a lump in my throat! I saw Cory sit down beside Joey and throw him a coke, and then he asked me if they could turn to Sportschannel. I tossed him the remote and figured it was time for the inseparable duo to do their macho guy thing and was getting ready to leave the room. That's when it happened...for the first time ever.

Joey looked up as I was leaving the room and he said, "Say kiddo, why don't you stay and watch it with us?" This was weird. Neither one of them ever asked me to stay before. It took me by surprise and I slowly walked back to the couch, waiting for one of them to burst out laughing and tell me it was all a joke. "Um...you know, if you guys want to be alone..."

"Be alone?" Joey said, "What, do you think we're gonna make out or something? Come on! Sit with us!"

I hoped that he couldn't see me starting to get an erection. Just hearing his voice saying something in my direction turned me on. His voice always sounded like it was getting ready to squeak. It would keep getting higher with every word, and just when you thought it would squeak, it wouldn't. It was so cool. I loved his teen voice, but then again, I loved everything about him. I sat on the very edge of the couch and they both kind of looked at me strange.

Cory spoke first and said, "Ben, dude why are you being so weird? Come over here and sit with us." I scooted over a little closer to Joey, looking timidly over at my brother on his other side. I think I might have moved all of an inch and a half.

Joey kind of flashed me an intoxicating grin and said, "Hey kiddo, want some chips?"

"Um...yeah...sure..." I stuttered. He held the bag forward slightly and I reached a shaky hand out to grab a few. But seconds before I could reach the bag, Joey playfully grabbed my arm and handed the bag off to Cory. Feeling his touch sent a jolt of electricity through me and I realized that this was the first time we had ever made skin to skin contact. He pulled me close to him and threw an arm over my shoulder, forcing my body up against his on the couch! There I was, my head buried in the chest of my one true love, his giggling causing his tight stomach to vibrate and jump with every chuckle. I was in heaven.

"That's better. Just relax man, you're one of the guys." Joey said. He let me sit up, but he still had his arm around my shoulder. It was the most erotic moment of my life. Cory smiled at me and got up to get me my own coke. As soon as he left the room, Joey took a sip from his coke and offered me some. ME! I took the can and wiped the rim, but he took it back from me and took another sip. "Just drink it Ben, I don't have cooties." So I practically took the can from his lips and pressed it to my own. It was by far the best carbonated beverage I had ever tasted. I wondered if maybe his lips left their soft, sensuous imprint on the can somehow. I wondered if maybe some of his saliva was caught in the rim, or maybe in the soda. I was dizzy with love as I took another healthy sip from the can. Then my brother came back and put an unopened can in front of me. Joey swiped it up from the table and said, "You can keep that one...you might have cooties."

I giggled and he just sat back and let me get used to being with the two of them. For the first time, I felt like an equal.

We watched a college basketball game, which they enjoyed immensely, but I never really got into. Sports just weren't my thing. But I attempted to fit in by shouting out when they did and trying to remember a few of the player's names so I could talk about something during the commercials. But the real thrill didn't come from the game at all, it came from knowing that Joey and I were actually spending time together. And that meant everything to me. Joey's arm stayed around my shoulder during most of the game, and every once in a while, he would high five Cory or throw his hands up at a bad call from the ref, but his arm always found its way back to me. At first it was erotic, mind blowing, spectacular. Then after a while I just felt really good about it and loved. By the 4th quarter...it was just comfortable, like we had been like that all of our lives. It wasn't sexual or even love inspired...it was just something that further defined my whole concept of being 'together'. I sighed to myself, and then just enjoyed the moment, hoping that he would never have to leave my side.

Cory got up to use the bathroom and Joey put the bag of potato chips in between his legs. He reached in and then looked over at me. "You want some more?"

The thought of reaching for anything in Joey's lap made my heart stop. But I turned it down. "That's...that's alright dude. I'm cool."

It must have been my imagination, but I could have sworn that he pushed his hips out ever so slightly against the bag. "Are you sure?" He said. And I looked up into his eyes to see the sexiest gaze I've ever laid eyes on. It was sort of shy, but it seemed like he wanted to make a point with his comment. I didn't answer right away, I was too shocked to do much of anything. The look on his face went from sexy to confused to nervous in a matter of seconds. He finally looked away from me, his eyes filled with a strange fear that I had never seen before. He looked back at the TV, his eyes wide, and he moved the bag of chips out of his lap. I was still speechless and an uncomfortable silence fell over the room. Suddenly, it looked like Joey was shamed somehow, and he leaned forward a little bit, letting his golden brown locks slide in front of him and curtain his face from view. He looked so cute from the side. I couldn't see his eyes, most of his face was covered by his smooth silky hair, but I could just see the tip of his cute little nose and his kissable lips. I felt like I had to say something. I didn't know what, but something.

"A-A-Are you okay...Joey?" I almost whispered his name so softly that he didn't hear it. The rest of the words came out fine, but for some reason I always felt like people would know how I felt about him if I spoke his name too loudly. It was almost as if I wasn't good enough to say the name of such an angelic boy.

Joey didn't respond. He just looked down towards the floor, his arms resting on his knees, his fingers clamped together in front of him. Then he straightened up, took a deep breath, and looked over at me again. Then he did it! For the first time since I had first laid eyes on him, he took his hand and brushed it through one side of his soft blond/brown hair and pulled it back to tuck it behind his ear. The hand moved in super slow motion, exposing inch after inch of his creamy white skin, making my heart melt as his face came into view. I saw his cute little ears, his cheek bones, eyebrows, and every other gorgeous feature that lay obscured behind that wonderful mask of hair for so long. Then he looked at me with his shining brown eyes sparkling with young love and said, "I...I...I have to go to the bathroom." Then he got up and walked away. I just sat there for a second, my mouth open, my heart racing, not knowing what to think of the whole situation. But one question kept ringing in my ears...'did Joey and I just have...a MOMENT???'

Cory came back into the room and asked me what I was looking so spacey for. I couldn't answer, all I knew was that I needed time to think. I got up and walked back to my room. It was weird, but all this time I wanted to love and be loved by somebody. All this time I wanted to have Joey, and not just someone like Joey, but Joey. And now, there was some sort of spark, some hidden signal that may or may not have passed between us, and it terrified me. I spent so many times wishing and hoping and praying and crying, just for that one special chance to make it happen, but when the time came for love to find me, I felt like I wasn't ready, like I wasn't worthy. What if I read something wrong? What if it was just my imagination? What if he REALLY liked me and I let him down? A billion questions entered my mind, and any attempt to answer them only brought on more questions. I shut the door to my room and sat on the floor, trying to make some sense of the world again. Love's gentle hand had touched me for the first time, for real this time, and it was downright frightening.

I decided to go back downstairs and at least try not to be too obvious. But when I got there, Joey was gone. I asked my brother where he went and he told me that he just left about ten minutes ago. And that was that, my big chance, and it was gone. But to tell you the truth, it was so wonderful that I could easily float on air for months over that little moment in our living room. But deep down, my heart still craved more. If only I had the guts.

Joey didn't come over again for a whole week. I never really knew how much I looked forward to seeing him until he wasn't there. Then, one day out of the blue, my brother gets a phone call and Joey asks him to meet him in some shopping mall all the way on the other side of town. Cory agreed, even though he thought it was kind of strange, and before I knew it he was out the door. I kind of sulked around the house for a while. It seemed like things would soon be returning to normal. I figured that Joey just didn't want to see me and now that he was going to start hanging out with my brother again, he'd be ignoring me again in no time. Like I said before, I was just reaching way too high in my standards to think that a guy like Joey could ever like me. That wild feeling of love and freedom left me, and slowly but surely, the pain returned. It was a weird kind of pain, it hurt but not physically. It made me want to cry, but I just couldn't. And every time I even began to forget about it, it would jab me in the heart again and remind me of how I screwed up my big chance at happiness. If I ever got another chance, ever, no fear in the world could keep me from saying something! I swore it.

Just then, the doorbell rang. I was just sitting around the house in a robe, t-shirt, an sweats, but I didn't really expect it to be anybody special. I opened the door, and to my surprise...it was Joey. "Hey Kid...um..Ben. Can I come in for a sec?"

"Sure. A-a-aren't you supposed to be meeting my brother at the mall?"

Joey's pink lips curled up in the sweetest smile and he said, "Yeah, well...he's gonna hate me for it tomorrow, but that was kind of a wild goose chase. I kind of wanted to talk to you about...something."

Wait...let me get this straight. Joey, the love god of m life, actually got rid of my perfect brother to spend time with ME??? Again, that paralyzing fear came back to me and made my legs go numb. He sat down on the couch and patted the seat next to him for me to sit down. I went over, my head spinning, my heart beating faster than it ever had before, my palms sweating an ocean's worth of water...it was almost like a flu virus, but worse. I tried to psyche myself up and just be myself, but I couldn't do it. This was Joey. He was just so cute, so special to me, I couldn't look at him without feeling that incredible attraction. Today was no exception.

I sat down next to him and just trembled as my eyes looked everywhere around the room but at him. We sat there for a couple of minutes before he said something. "You know Ben, I hang around with Cory a lot, and we're really good friends...but you never really want to hang with us. Is it me?"

YES! Of course it was! "No, Joey...it's not you." I said.

He let out a little sigh of relief, and I watched as it blew up a few strands of his silky hair in front of him. "Good. 'Cause, you know, you're always welcome. I'd like to be friends with you too Ben. If you...don't mind." Joey was starting to get that weird look on his face again, and I was so scared that I was almost ready to get up and run off to my room like I always did. It would've been easy. Just say, 'sure we can be friends' and walk back to my room. I could shut the door and relive that tiny moment over and over again. That way I wouldn't have to embarrass myself, or worry about impressing him, or feel the pain of rejection of the only guy I've ever loved. But this time...something stopped me. Something inside of me snapped under the pressure and I refused to walk away. I was still scared shitless of him, but I forced myself to sit there and take it until I beat it once and for all.

"I'd like that a lot Joey." I said shyly. My voice barely crawled above a whisper, but he was listening close enough to hear me. He smiled at me, and for the first time, I smiled back. I could actually feel my face blushing and it caused me to giggle a little bit. Joey giggled too, and his hair fell into his eyes as he moved.

"Cool...that's cool." He said, relaxing a little bit. "You know something Ben? You have your brother's eyes. They shine so nicely, but it's better with your dark red hair. It really brings out the blue, you know?" Joey complimented me and the fear was steadily growing, trying to push me over the edge, trying to get me to run away. But I stood my ground, I refused to miss my chance again. Joey then did something that almost caused me to faint. He smiled slightly and leaned forward to press his forehead against mine. I felt his soft hair wash over me as our foreheads touched, our eyes locked, our lips only inches apart, and he said, "We're gonna hang out a lot more from now on, deal?"

I was at a loss for words, but I was able to moan a simple, "Uh-huh". Then he sat back and the two of us talked. Just talked. For like ten minutes we got to have a conversation and I actually felt good about it. I couldn't tell you how many erections had popped up and gone down since he first rang the doorbell, but I'm sure I must've broken some kind of record.

Somehow, the conversation started turning to dirty jokes that we traded back and forth between us. I remembered downloading a couple hundred off the net, so I always was able to match his with one of my own. It was so awesome seeing him laugh at something I said. His laughter filled my heart with joy, and soon that sense of comfort came back to me. But it didn't last.

As he laughed, Joey started becoming more animated. And a few times he put a hand on my knee, or patted me on the shoulder. Then his gentle touches became more frequent as he got more comfortable with it. And then at one point, after I told him one of my best jokes, he laughed hysterically for a moment...then without warning, he leaned in quickly and kissed me on the cheek. I froze, and the room fell deadly silent. I looked straight ahead of me, terrified of making eye contact with Joey. But I could feel him looking at me, looking for some kind of reaction. I felt every spark in my body go off and I was quaking in terror so bad that my hands were shaking.

"Ben?" He asked quietly. His voice was just so sexy. Then he asked again, "Ben?"

"Yeah." I shot back quickly.

"...you know, if you...if you want me to go..." Joey was scared too. I could hear it in his beautiful voice. I couldn't answer him! My voice left me. I wanted to set myself free, no matter what the consequences. I wanted to tell him everything, I wanted to confess my deep love for him, bare my soul and tell him how good he made me feel inside and out. But the damn words got choked up in my throat and all I could do was hope that somehow he would just know how I felt and feel the same way. Then it happened, I'm...I'm sorry Ben. I'm freaking you out, I'll just go." He squeaked! His wonderful teen voice, the one that had driven me crazy with it's lustful confidence, squeaked. It was the most beautiful sound I had ever heard, and at that moment, I had the courage to move on.

"Don't leave, Joey." He looked down at me and I forced my fear down enough to look up into his eyes. I loved him so much that looking into those baby browns made my stomach hurt and knees weak, but I did it anyway, and I held the gaze as long as I could before dying from the beauty overload of his angelic face. He sat back down and took a second to look for my approval. I didn't move, but I didn't protest when he leaned in for another kiss, so he did it again. I felt his warm lips press themselves softly against my cheek, and it sent shivers down my spine. This was no peck though, this time it was a little slower, and it lasted a little longer. He backed off a little for a second, then leaned in again to rub his nose through my hair and against my cheek in small circles while breathing warm air on my face. He closed his eyes and I felt his eyelashes flutter against my cheek as he delivered another few baby kisses on my soft flesh. The feeling was incredible, and he moved sooo slowly, gently kissing a different spot every time. He moved back and lightly licked at my earlobe before sucking the rubbery flesh into his mouth and letting his tongue flick back and forth over it erotically. It drove me to new levels of passion and then, without overrationalizing or thinking at all, I slowly turned my head towards Joey and returned a dry peck on his lips. I saw the look in his eyes, and almost cried. He looked as though he had just received the greatest gift on Earth. He was actually starting to tear up with joy. He gently put his hand on my thigh to steady himself, and leaned all the way in to kiss me deeply on the lips. It was magical. It was every wonderful moment in my life combined and magnified a thousand times. Love poured out of my body and into his in waves of sexual heat as his lips an mine slowly motioned and glided past one another. I couldn't believe this! I was kissing Joey, MY Joey! And he was enjoying it!

I felt his wet tongue fill my mouth and it gave me this wild sexual energy that forced every other thought out of my mind that didn't concern loving him. I kissed him more deeply, moaning quietly from the delightful pressure of his lips against mine. I reached up and rubbed his shoulder as our lip lock went even deeper, and then I ran it up his neck and into the soft strands of hair dangling playfully from his head. I was so turned on by the feel of his hair, it ran through my fingers like warm beach sand. His hand was tenderly squeezing my thigh and moved in to rub my swollen cock through the fabric of my sweats. The sweat pants didn't restrict any of the feeling at all and his hands and fingers gripped the shaft, sending waves of excitement through me. His hand began to move up and down slowly and my whole bottom half went numb. I wanted to touch his so bad, but my hands were now both wrapped up in his hair and it was just so silky and soft that I never wanted to let go. I felt him push forward a little and get up on his knees on the couch, slightly pushing me backwards. I leaned back as he crawled on top of me and I spread my legs wide, throwing one leg over the back of the couch, to give myself to him. He hovered over me for a few seconds, gazing down at me with those loving brown eyes, his lips parted as the heavy breathing rushed out of him, and his hair hung down around his face. He pushed his crotch into mine, letting our cocks touch for the first time and making us both jump with pleasure. Then I ran my hands up his sides and wrapped my arms around his waist, pulling him into me, hoping he wouldn't tease me any longer by keeping his love hidden from me.

"Say it. Please Ben? Say it just one time? Say you love me." Joey was so gorgeous that my heart leapt into my throat, and the words finally left my mouth. I finally had the chance to say it out loud, finally had the chance to express my deepest feelings for him, and this time there was no fear to hold me back.

I sobbed a little before finally feeling a stray tear leave my eye, and said, "I love you Joey. God I love you." Joey laid the rest of his slim body weight on me and kissed me passionately as our tears mixed between us. He was grinding into me and I was pushing my hips up to meet him. I was so dizzy with lust, so deeply in love, it was that pleasurable pain that you always hear about but never quite understand. I shamelessly moved my hands down to grip his tight buttocks and push myself even deeper into him as his tongue wriggled and twisted around mine. We were both groaning and we couldn't have been closer if we tried. Then, Joey climbed off of me and got down on his knees next to the couch. I never wanted it to stop, and asked him, "What are you doing? Please, please don't stop."

"Shhhhhh..." He whispered. "Just close your eyes. Relax, I've thought about you for a long time Ben, I want to do it all."

I felt Joey's hand grab my shaft again, and then he reached under the elastic of my sweats to pull them down. I lifted my hips to assist him, and felt my cock spring out and slap against my belly. I did what Joey said and closed my eyes, and his fingers lightly traced circular paths all over my teen body. He ran them under my shirt, up and down my legs, my sides, my neck, my toes. The whole time, his face was really close to my cock and his warm breath rustled my few scraggly pubic hairs with every gasp. At one point, my cock jumped and gently tapped against Joey's lips. The feeling was sensational and nearly made me cum right there! Then Joey laid his head on my tender belly looking down at my stiff member for a second before grabbing it again. He stroked it very slowly two or three times, and then I felt his hot mouth wrap around the head and move down until my whole cock was buried in wetness. He held it there for a second and then moved up even slower than when he went down. The saliva on my cock dribbled down and the wet skin was instantly cooled as it left his mouth inch by inch. He let it come all the way out of his mouth with a pop, then dove back down for another suck. I was in heaven, and this angel was healing my wounded soul. I let my hand fall down off the couch and I rubbed it over the front of his pants, feeling his hard penis stiff and constrained. I had a little trouble from my awkward position, but I managed to unzip his pants and hold the fleshy warm cock within. It pulsed in my hand, and with the first touch, Joey groaned deeply and pulled his hips back. I loved making him feel so good, and I pulled on it lovingly to guide Joey back onto the couch. Joey twisted around, never taking his mouth off of me, and pulled his pants down enough to give me access. I had his stiff cock just inches from my face, and all of my shy inhibitions vanished. I took him into my mouth and we began a slow and erotic 69 on the living room couch. His loose hanging balls were resting on my nose, and they had this sweet and clean fragrance that drove me wild. I grabbed his firm cheeks and he started face fucking me while still steadily bobbing on my swollen member. We continued like that until we had reached the point of no return. I felt the strongest, most potent orgasm of my young life building from deep within me. I started squirming around and gyrating my hips while Joey sucked me dry. He knew I was close and it drove him over the edge too. We both came at the same time, spraying the insides of each other's mouths with the sweetened cum of teenage lust. We swallowed every drop, both of us thanking the stars for release, but disappointed that it couldn't go on for longer. We laid in that position as our cocks softened in each other's mouths. Then Joey got up and pulled me to my feet, kissing me again as I felt the room spin. My heart began to beat again, for the first time in years, with new life, with new love. And I was finally able to look Joey in the eye without feeling pain, or insecurity, or fear. It was amazing.

When Cory finally came home, he found me and Joey looking through some of my old drawings and artwork. He was a little upset and asked what the heck was going on, but Joey told him that there was just a miscommunication somewhere. "Dude, I meant that I was going to come here and then we could go to the mall together. I'm sorry man." Cory huffed and puffed for a few minutes, but what could he say? We all spent the rest of the afternoon together, and when Joey finally went home, he made sure to say good bye to me and gave me a hug. Cory thought it was a bit strange, but he didn't say anything. I just walked back to my room smiling and quietly shut the door. Finally, I was the perfect one, the one who mattered to somebody. Joey had taken the "Smithsonian Theory" and shattered it. The protective case was gone, and I got to taste the forbidden fruit behind it. I'll never be the same.