Andy's Circle - 4. Rex Returns

Closing the door behind me, I plopped onto my bed feeling sad and disappointed. Rex didn’t come this time, which meant I wouldn’t see him for maybe another six months. What the hell am I going to do all summer? What’s even worse is the fact that he didn’t even call or text to say he wouldn’t be coming. He knew I’d be expecting him as always, and he still let me believe he was going to come.

Wait, what if he didn’t come because of what we did the last time he was here? I had an amazing time and I thought he did too – at least he looked like he did. I mean, it was his idea after all, he was the one who started it! What if he changed his mind and is now embarrassed about it? Maybe he won’t want to speak to me ever again?

No, I can’t leave it at that, I have to find out why he really didn’t come – was it just the summer camp or something else?

I picked up my phone and decided to text him. Since he was at the camp, probably having fun with his new friends, I didn’t want to bother him by calling. This way, he can respond when he finds the time. I thought about what to write for a minute or two, and then decided to go simple.

“Hey, how’s the summer camp? Having fun? Wish u called to tell me u weren’t coming.”

There, sent! I lay back down and played some music on my phone, trying to relax while I waited for the reply. After about fifteen minutes, I realized he probably wasn’t going to reply any time soon, so I got up. There’s no use in lying here and moping around, that’s only going to make me feel even worse.

Leaving my phone behind, I went to find Mark and see if he was up for playing some games or watching moves together. Even though he was two years older and had his own friends, we got along pretty good. We had rather different interests, but we almost never got into fights.

“Hey, whatcha doing?” I asked casually as I entered Mark’s room.

“Hey, not much, just watching a movie. Wanna join?” he said, tapping on the bed next to him.

“Sure, what are we watching?” I asked as I climbed the bed and got comfortable.

“Hot Shots. Want some popcorn? Mom made them.”

“Yes, please!” I said eagerly and grabbed a handful of hot popcorn from a bowl that Mark put on the bed between us. Hot Shots was one of our favorite comedies, just what I needed for that evening. Mom’s delicious butter popcorn also helped improve my mood, and in a matter of minutes we were laughing and enjoying the movie.

Mark never mentioned Rex and I was thankful for it. I guess it was obvious that I was bummed about him not coming, and my big bro was considerate enough not to add salt to the wound. Instead, we just spent the evening having fun, eating popcorn and drinking sodas.

“So, any big plans for the summer?” I asked as the movie was drawing to a close. We’ve already seen it at least three times in the last two years, so we knew what was going to happen anyway.

“Umm not really. I’ll probably be going to the pool with some buddies. You?” Mark replied, licking the salt from the popcorn off his fingers.

“Not much, just hanging out with schoolmates, I guess. We wanna go and see the new Avengers movie when it comes out!”

“Yeah, I wanna see that one, too!”

“Do you think mom and dad will take us somewhere this summer?”

“No clue, I don’t think I’ve heard them mention anything. Maybe they’ll surprise us.”

“Yeah, maybe,” I replied, wondering where we could go. Last summer they took us to Disneyland, so I was really pumped, waiting to see if they could top that. Mark and I had so much fun, it was all we talked about for weeks.

After the movie ended and I went back to my room to go to sleep, I decided not to check my phone. If Rex even replied by now, I’d read it tomorrow, but at that moment I just wanted to relax and sleep.

Sure enough, when I woke up in the morning and grabbed my phone off my desk, there was one unread message.

Rex: “Camp is super fun! Sorry, was busy with school and camp prep. See ya for the holidays.”

I put the phone down, unimpressed. I mean, what was I expecting him to write? That what we did was fun but it couldn’t happen again? That he’s sorry, but he realized he was straight? I don’t even know, but that message was so… generic and impersonal. It felt like a stranger wrote it, not my supposed best friend.

I wanted to text him back and ask him about what we did during his last visit, but something stopped me. I was too embarrassed or afraid, or maybe even both. It was obvious he didn’t want to talk about it, so I was definitely not going to be the one to open up that can of worms. In the end, I just typed “No worries, have fun at the camp,” but then deleted it. I just didn’t feel like replying at that moment. What was even the point? He was there and didn’t want to talk. I might as well spend time with the friends I’ve got here instead of waiting for him to come back, and that’s exactly what I did.

That summer break, I tried to spend as much time as I could with my schoolmates, hanging out at each other’s houses, going to the movies or just riding our bikes around the neighborhood. I was honestly surprised at how well the plan had worked – it turned out I didn’t need Rex to have fun. My friends from school were fun as well; sure, we didn’t play the sexy games that Rex and I did that one time, but I wasn’t even sure I wanted to do that stuff with any of them. Also, none of them actually knew that I was gay, or if they did, they didn’t talk to me about it. I wasn’t sure how they would react, but I didn’t want to test it just yet. It’s not like my sexuality had anything to do with our friendship, so I decided there was no point in mentioning it in the first place.

--

The start of the new school year was rather uneventful, except for the fact that Mark had started high school, so we didn’t go to the same school anymore. At first I thought it’d be weird not seeing him there every day, but to be honest, I didn’t even notice he was gone.

I exchanged few text messages with Rex since the last time, and only when he wrote to me first. I didn’t want to push it, and was also still feeling betrayed and disappointed whenever I thought of him. Now, I know I probably didn’t have the right to feel that way, it’s not like he owed it to me to come, but I couldn’t help it. We were best friends and I felt like I at least deserved an explanation. Actually, I wasn’t even sure if we were best friends anymore. How long can you stay best friends with someone living in another country? As much as I didn’t want to admit it, it definitely felt like Rex and I were running out of steam.

When Thanksgiving finally came, I didn’t feel the usual excitement that I would feel whenever Rex was about to visit. This time, it was replaced by anxiety and doubt. I had no idea where we stood and I was anxious to meet him and see if things will get cleared up.

Mom made a huge Thanksgiving dinner, even bigger than usual, since we’d have Rex’s family over. Everything smelled delicious, so I found any reason to be near the kitchen the entire afternoon. Of course, mom appreciated an extra pair of helping hands, so she didn’t mind me hanging there.

It was around six when the doorbell rang, announcing that our guests have arrived. Since mom and I were in the kitchen, finishing the dinner, dad welcomed the Lewis family.

“Where’s Andy?” I heard Rex saying from the living room and I immediately felt relieved. I guess I was worried he wouldn’t come or wouldn’t even care about seeing me, but hearing him ask about me made me feel good.

“He’s in the kitchen, I’m sure he’ll be over in a second,” dad told him.

I said nothing and just continued helping mom, but she knew I wanted to see my friend and didn’t want to keep me away from him any longer.

“It’s ok, I got it now. You go and hang out with Rex.”

“Thanks, mom,” I gave her an appreciative smile and went to greet the guests, especially Rex.

“Oh, there he is,” Rex’s mom said when she saw me. “You’ve grown a lot since we saw you last time!”

“Maybe a little,” I said. I hated it when adults commented on my growth and ‘what a big boy’ I am. That maybe worked with little kids, but not with thirteen-year-old teens.

“Hey, man! You’re here!” I approached Rex and gave him a bro hug.

“Yeah! Wanna go to your room?” He smiled and returned the hug. Some things obviously never change. We immediately went to my room and left the adults to themselves. Rex’s little sister stayed with them, busy playing on her smartphone. Our parents knew we weren’t crazy about babysitting her, and it’s not like Rose was keen on being in the company of two older boys. We had no interest in dolls or makeup, so she knew she’d be bored out of her mind if she went along with us.

“Yeah, it was a lot of fun,” Rex was telling me about his summer camp experience as we were waiting for Sonic & Sega All Stars Racing to load. “We spent most of the time outdoors, camping and hiking. We also went on a lake, but it was too cold to swim, our balls would’ve frozen.”

That little comment reminded me of our jerk-off session from last spring, but I didn’t dare mention it. I just chuckled and let him continue with his story. He was recounting his experience full of excitement – it was obvious he had a lot of fun at the camp, and I felt a bit bad that I was angry at him for going there instead of coming here with his family. Was I selfish for wanting to spend time with him?

“So, what did you do this summer?”

“Umm you know, the usual. Hung out with guys from school – Bobby, Shawn and others. We went to see the new Avengers, did you watch it?”

“Yeah, it was awesome!” He nodded vigorously in agreement.

“I know! Mom and dad also took us to the Sea World in August, that was super cool,” I said as I was concentrating on drifting and overtaking him in Sonic. He was in fourth place and I was just behind him, trying to beat him and not get hit in the process.

“Cool, I’ve never been there,” Rex said absentmindedly, clearly focused on keeping his distance from my vehicle and not getting hit by anything. He managed to finish second, and I was right behind him in third place.

“Ok, I let you win this one, but now I’m getting serious,” I teased him.

“Uh-huh, sure. I’m shaking,” he replied as the next race was starting. It was one of my best levels, and this time was no different – I handily managed to come out on top and finish first, while he ended up sixth, after an unfortunate series of hits he took from other drivers.

“Ouch, that was terrible,” he said, chuckling. “I guess I’m a bit rusty.”

“It’s like they all ganged up on you near the end!” I was glad that he took losing better than before; it meant I won’t have to let him win so he wouldn’t get mad anymore.

A few minutes later, Mark knocked and entered the room.

“Hey guys, what’s up?”

“Hey, we’re just playing Sonic,” I said.

“Got room for one more?”

“Sure, just bring your joystick,” I said and changed the settings to three players. He usually didn’t hang out with us so I was a bit surprised, but I didn’t mind it, and neither did Rex.

“Zack said his guests still haven’t left, so he can’t come yet,” Mark explained when he returned with his joystick. “So I thought I’d hang out with you guys for a bit.”

“Come on, Andy’s beating my ass, I need someone to knock him down a notch,” Rex said, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Oh, I am down for that!” Mark said excitedly, looking at me with a devilish grin.

“Ok, so that’s how things are gonna go. Well, don’t get your hopes up, boys,” I said, not having any intention of making things easier for them. Mark was actually the best player out of the three of us, so he managed to beat us in most of the games. Still, we had a lot of fun, pretending to trash talk each other and enjoying whenever we’d score a hit against one of the other players.

When Mark’s friend Zack finally showed up, the two of them went to his room, leaving Rex and me alone. I was sort of glad about that, as I was still hoping we’d get to discuss what happened last time. Of course, I knew that if we were to talk about it, Rex would have to be the one to actually bring up the topic as I wasn’t comfortable doing it. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen. We spent the rest of the evening eating snacks and playing video games, talking about everything other than the thing that was on my mind the whole time.

On the day when he was supposed to travel back to Canada, I was woken up early by someone knocking on my door. Even though I was an early riser, this was too early even for me and I did not appreciate someone disturbing my slumber.

The door slowly opened and my mom’s head appeared.

“Hey, sweetie, wake up,” she said gently, as if that would make getting up so early any easier. “You have a visitor.”

“Huh?” I said, rubbing my eyes and blinking. “Who is it?”

“It’s Rex.”

“Oh, ok. Let him in,” I replied, surprised that he came. We said our goodbyes last night, so I wasn’t expecting him.

“Hey, man, sorry to wake you up so early, but we have to go to the airport soon,” Rex said apologetically as he entered my room.

“No worries, man. Didn’t expect to see you today!” I said, moving to the side so he could sit on the bed.

“Yeah, I wanted to say goodbye and give you something. I forgot to bring it to you yesterday.” He pulled out something wrapped in colorful wrapping paper and handed it to me. As I opened it, my face lit up, and by that point I was fully awake.

“Oh my God, Spiderman! My favorite issue!” I yelled as I realized I was holding my favorite issue of the Spiderman comics, one which I used to have until mom accidentally threw it away. She apologized and apologized, but didn’t manage to find another copy to buy. Now I finally had it again!

“Wow, you remembered!? Thanks!” I said, giving him the biggest smile ever.

“Of course I did, how could I forget my best friend’s favorite comic,” he stated matter-of-factly, returning the smile.

“Thanks, man. So… I’m still your best friend?” I asked shyly.

“Of course you are, man,” he reassured me.

I have to admit, that was one of the best days I’ve had recently. Even though Rex had to return to Canada, at least we parted on a good note. However, I still couldn’t help the doubt that was present somewhere in the back of my mind. On the surface, things between us seemed the same as always, but I knew they weren’t.

There was that issue hanging above our heads, but neither of us would be the first to address it. It wasn’t until he left that I thought maybe he was doing the same thing I did – waiting for the other to bring it up. Maybe he was just as scared as I was? Whatever the case, I was too nervous to say anything, so I did the only thing I could – let him go away again, hoping that in time we’d forget all about it.