Oh boohoo. You deliberately misinterpret the discussion so you can make this about you and feel offended. How very modern of you.
But at least you more or less get the fact that it is not about sex or the dangly bits. Nor is it about anybody's writing talent. It is not even about gender as such. But you miss that point. It is about heteronormativity in stories and in my case my observation that almost without exception this is done by female authors. This does not mean that ALL female authors do this. This is basic logic, but apparently it is necessary to write it out. As you say it is more about the experience of the writer. And it (often) shows that hetero women have no in depth experience at being a gay male, no surprise there.
But this is all very OT, we can discuss in a different topic if you need to. I don't need to.