Jacob Matthews - 6. Chapter 6

The sound of hushed murmuring echoed around me, as I groggily became aware of my surroundings. I struggled to open my eyes as I was blinded by the bright light above me. For some reason I found myself on the ground. It was lumpy and uncomfortable. In an instant I remembered exactly what had happened just moments before. It hit me like a bolt of lightning.

She knew.

I audibly groaned as I tried to sit up but couldn’t get the energy to lift my upper body off the floor.

“Take it easy buddy, don’t try to get up just yet.” Came an unfamiliar voice from somewhere to my right. The voice was accompanied by a warm palm which rested gently on my chest, lightly coaxing me back to a lying position on the floor.

“What?” I asked, confused. I thought it was just Steph and Mum here. Mum. Oh god. She knew. Fear coursed through my veins again, as I never found out her reaction. And now somehow, I was on the floor? Maybe Sam had come over. Why was I on the floor? Was that Sam? It didn’t sound like Sam.

“Sam?” I quietly asked, hoping that he would explain exactly what was happening to me.

I now heard more of a commotion than just murmuring voices. There was some clanking and repeat distinct sounds of something being open and shut.

“Hahaha close. My name’s Shane. Just try to hold still Nick, can you do that for me?” said the calm voice. It was low and reassuring, with a gentle huskiness that suited a talented yet humble movie star.

Shane. That really didn’t clear anything up at all. I tried to pry my eyes open again but was forced to squint tightly in order to see. There was a blurry shadow partially blocking the light this time.

“It’s good to have you with us Nick.” Said the voice. Why did he keep saying my name? I didn’t know a Shane? I don’t think I knew any Shanes. Where am I?

A light beeping punctuated my confusion. Where was Mum? Mum. She knew. I felt my heart beating faster again. I needed to know what she said.

“What did she say?” I asked, trying to sit up, however I was gently but firmly held down.

“Don’t try to struggle Nick, you just need to be still ok. It’s very important that you stay still.” I was told.

Well I was finding it hard to move when I was held down anyway so I may as well stay here for a while.

“What did who say, Nick?” asked the voice gently.

“Mum. I need to know what she said!” I frantically exclaimed.

“It’s ok Nick, just calm down now. I don’t know what she said, but right now you just have to stay with me here, alright?” Came the velvety reply.

“Do you know who I am?” questioned the smooth voice.

Who was this? I know it wasn’t Sam. Was it Shane? Did I even know a Shane? I don’t think I knew a Shane. But it seemed somehow familiar.

“Shane?” I whispered.

“That’s right Nick, I’m Shane.” Said Shane.

Shane.

That did sound right after all. How did I know Shane though? He wasn’t in the soccer team. I’m pretty sure he wasn’t from school.

“Do you know where you are Nick?” Shane probed.

“Yes.” I said simply.

I was at home. My home. With Steph, and Mum. Mum! She knew. This felt strangely familiar. Somehow I felt like I already knew Mum found out about me. But I only just told her. Well I didn’t tell her. Steph did. Now Shane was here. Why was Shane in my house?

“Where are we?” Shane asked as if I didn’t know the answer.

“At home.” I stated. He should know – he was here too.

“No Nick, we’re not at home at the moment.” He explained.

What? But… What? My breathing quickened until the warm palm moved from my chest to my shoulder, gently gripping it, in a comforting manner.

“We were at your home before, but now we’re in the ambulance.” Shane detailed.

Well that explained the bright light. It also explained the uncomfortable floor. I could now feel the low thrum of the engine beneath me, so I knew he was telling the truth. But how did I get here?

“What happened?” I was confused.

“It seemed like you had a little battle with gravity and lost. You also tried to take out the kitchen benchtop on your way down.” Shane lightly joked.

Ah. That explained the tunnel vision. It also explained why I was lying down. But it didn’t explain why I was in the ambulance. I was starting to get a headache with all this thinking. Why was thinking so hard? There was a throbbing in my head which matched its pace with my heartbeat. That started to consume my thoughts. I hated headaches. I always struggled to swallow those tiny little pills. They always got annoyingly stuck in my throat and made me start choking on the water that was trying to wash them down. At that thought, I tried to swallow but was met with some resistance. I felt constricted around my throat – it was uncomfortable. I reached up as if I grab my neck, but my hand was gently directed away, by Shane, I’m guessing.

“Sorry Nick, you’re going to have to keep your hands away for now. You’re in a neck-brace during the travel until we can get you checked on.” Shane explained.

A neck-brace? That was odd. But it explained the constriction.

“I’m not a dog, I don’t need a collar.” I explained with a dissatisfied pout.

This seemed to delight Shane who let out a hearty laugh. This displeased me. I opened my eyes once more for the sole purpose to throw Shane a dirty look. Unfortunately, this only seemed to amuse him more.

“Well you are for now. Sit! Stay…” he mocked lightly.

I rolled my eyes at him, now content that the light above me wasn’t going to antagonise my pupils anymore.

His face matched exactly what his voice sounded like. He seemed to be in his mid-twenties, with short light brown stubble covering most of his face. Shane had distinct, angular features, that were somehow smooth at the same time. His short-cropped hair framed deep hazel eyes, which held and air of friendliness.

As his eyes flicked to mine, there was a faint recognition there, and he smiled at me.

“Nice to have you back with us once again. You’ve been a bit in and out.” Shane told me.

I surveyed around me, to take my eyes off him. It didn’t help that I was in extremely close to him, with his classically handsome features, and that his hand was still resting on my shoulder. There were small drawers all over one of the walls, which caused some light rattling. The other wall had some electronics with wires, and a whole bunch of equipment which I had no idea about. I also had no idea of where anyone else was. Like Steph, or Mum. Mum. I still didn’t know what happened.

“Do you know what my Mum said?” I asked again hopefully.

“I’m not sure what you mean. Gina was concerned but didn’t mention anything in particular. Why?” Shane enquired.

“Well she found out I’m gay…” I said before I could stop myself.

Oh god. Why did I say that. What have I done. I was so preoccupied with the throbbing in my head and the rattling, the hand on my shoulder. It was all too much.

“Oh fuck.” I stated.

“Don’t worry about it Nick, I don’t think you have nothing to worry about.” Shane soothed, as he winked at me.

He winked? What? Uhh… Ok then. What was I saying? What was I doing?

Shane followed up with a reaffirming and gentle squeeze of my shoulder and another of his brilliant smiles. I noticed that his eyes were sunken with deep bags under them. It made me realise that as a paramedic, which is what I was sure he was, he probably worked shifts. From memory, they worked either 12- or 24-hour shifts. I got embarrassed as I realised I was making a fool of myself and the poor guy who had to look after me.

“Prepare the patient, we’re pulling in now.” Came an unfamiliar voice from the front of the ambulance.

Good. At least this was almost over and I would stop making a fool of myself in front of Shane.

Shane locked eyes with me and gave me a reassuring nod.

“Alright, so I’m going to help unload you and wheel you in. There will be a little bit of jostling, but we’ll try to keep you as still as possible until we know what’s going on alright?” Shane explained.

I balked slightly at the thought of a whole bunch of other people gawking at me, I really didn’t like hospitals and for some reason it slipped my mind until just now that that’s exactly where the ambulance would be taking me.

“Don’t worry Nick, I’ll be with you the whole time.” He said comfortingly.

Despite my embarrassment at the thought I needed to be comforted, I appreciated it all the same.

I felt the ambulance come to a halt and the back door opened, swinging outwards. In what was a flurry of activity, I soon found myself on a kind of stretcher with wheels, being wheeled into Emergency.

Shane walked with a purpose and confidence, sharing occasional nods or greetings to people, and giving instructions regarding me care to those around him. When I was finally stopped from being wheeled through the maze of white walls and doorways, Shane sat with me and spoke generally of mundane and boring things, I think to distract me. He asked about school and my plans afterwards – I wondered why he was taking such an interest. It then dawned on me that he could probably see I was scared shitless and was just comforting me and trying to help the time pass. I relished the thought behind his actions.

I was feeling a little drowsy and my head was still throbbing, so the presence of a clear and proper voice broke through my reverie as I heard it talking to Shane. I heard the words ‘laceration’ and ‘subdural hematoma’ being muttered quietly but concisely between them.

“Yes he’s still conscious, he’s been in and out and…” I heard Shane taper off.

“Hey Nick, are you still with us?” Came the anxious question.

“Yeaaahhh…” I mumbled, trying to block out the throbbing in my head.

Why was he anxious. Damn it was hard to think, and hurt to talk. My eyes didn’t seem to want to open again.

“Hi Nick I’m Doctor Hopkins and I’ll be examining you today.” Said the clear female voice.

“Can you understand me?” questioned Dr Hopkins.

“Mmhmm.” was the best reply I could manage.

I heard her mutter a few more words to Shane before I heard footsteps moving away from me. There seemed to be some kind of commotion at the far end of the hall judging by the sounds I could hear, however I couldn’t be sure as the ringing in my ears and the throbbing in my head made it difficult to concentrate on anything else.

“Alright Nick, I’m going to do a full body examination of you alright.” Dr Hopkins said, rather than asked. This was followed by the accompanying and tell-tale ‘snap’ of latex gloves.

I was so sleepy now, but the doctor seemed determined to keep interrupting my attempt to fall asleep. I was poked and prodded; told to wiggle my fingers and toes; and asked if it hurt anywhere the roaming latex hands went.

When she got to my head, I let out an agonising yell, as a sharp pain shot through me, causing me to see little stars and colourful squiggles through my tightly shut eyes. It was as if I had just had a scalpel stabbed and twisted right into my brain.

I couldn’t focus on anything else except trying to block out the excruciating pain by counting slow deliberate breaths.

One.

Two.

Another sharp pain and a slick feeling.

Three.

Four.

A weird buzzing sound.

Five.

Six.

It felt like a small insect had bitten me.

Seven.

Eight.

Nine.

Ten.

Elev- I felt a warm hand grab my arm which caught my breath. I squinted my eyes and found a concerned looking Shane who was back again. In my brief look I also saw Dr Hopkins’ hands where the normally white latex was covered in glistening red. Blood. My blood. And lots of it. My breathing quickened in fear.

Twelve. Thirteen. Fourteen. Fifteen. Sixteen.

I began to panic.

Shane had said something but I couldn’t hear him. He got my attention however by running his hand gently up and down my arm. I couldn’t see Dr Hopkins anymore and didn’t want to know what was happening or see more than I already had.

I felt some light tousling of my hair but the pressure on my arm remained constant. It was comforting. My breathing started to slow and the faint ringing in my ears began to subside.

Seventeen.

The overwhelming reality began to catch up to me. And it was like a deep fog which I was struggling to wade through.

Eighteen.

I could hear faint instructions being relayed, but they were too garbled to make out.

Nineteen.

With my last ounce of effort I could muster, I lifted my heavy eyelids for what felt like the final time and saw Shane share a gentle smile at someone across the room.

At least Shane was here.

That was my final thought before I succumbed to overwhelming pressure pressing down on me.

Twenty.