Maddog & The Pope (Learning to fly on Broken Wings) - 8. Chapter 8 ... What Easy Times?

With a deep sigh of relief Inno left the main exit of the school building. He was happy and more than satisfied with how the very first exam went. Of course, most of it was due to thorough preparation, but nevertheless he felt elated. It had gone like clockwork. It would earn him a high grade!

And he had settled another long outstanding matter which had caused heated debates in the auditorium. Discussions apart, he was happy he had taken this overdue step now.

Whistling, he descended the stairs and walked to the bike shed to fetch his ATB and bike home. He had to study for the next exams in two days. Then he saw it!

“That wasn’t there last Friday.” he muttered.

He took his ATB and crossed the street, stopping on the sidewalk some distance away. He stood, staring at the brand new mural which covered the wall. He was impressed! The style of the whole thing reminded him of a certain artist.

Contrary to his earlier studies of wall paintings his eyes searched the small telltale poster first, finding it at the extreme center bottom. It was Maddog!

“If I remember well he was painting yesterday evening!” Inno whispered with a blinding smile on his face.

He started studying the painting in earnest. The first thing that occurred to him was the resemblance with some sketches he had seen before in the sketch block at home. The painting was composed of three main parts. In the right top was a bald face, painted in several shades of blue with black lines representing mouth, bottom of the nose, one ear and eyebrows. Inno knew the face; that was not completely correct, he didn’t have a clue whose face it might be, but he knew the type of face!

It was the kind of face he had encountered when he lived in that run-down neighborhood during his childhood and youth. It was the face that would fit those kids who were addicted to drugs. They had faces with hollow eyes and cheeks, the living skull type heads with just the skin around the bone, devoid of any flesh and muscle. A visage that had atrophied over time, until they looked as if they might die within the next three weeks… as many of them actually did. The only thing Maddog forgot to show was they had no teeth left. A phenomenon often seen with these kids, although Inno had no idea about the reason for that.

In the bottom left of the painting an open hand stretched out, painted in blue, with black contours. In and around it were eight pills in several shapes and colors. Inno had no experience with pills or drugs, something he wanted to keep that way, because he had seen the results not to want to go there. He could only guess what kind of pills they were, but deduced they were drugs of some kind. When he looked back at the face, the living skull gave the whole message!

No, he thought, the painter was not satisfied yet. The real message came in the black lettering spelling the word ‘Delicious’ in large, bold letters, undulating around the left side of the head, moving between head and hand, to end in a semi-circle around the right side of the hand.

Inno thought about the message and decided it meant:

“Drugs are sold as delicious stuff but the kind of face, the skull of a dying kid, that is the end result.”

The conclusion made him swallow hard. It was first class cynicism!

“Wow, Niki…!” he mumbled. “You outdid the Reaper. In that painting the complexity and its allegoric metaphor more or less subdued the cynical contents. But in this one the images are so direct in their simplicity, so vivid and forceful, the message so clear, it hits you right between the eyes.”

He looked at the whole painting once more, drinking in its atmosphere of warning. He was mighty dazzled by it. But finally, after a long time, he turned around to go home. To his surprise he saw a whole congregation of school kids who were studying the painting. With a smile he mounted his bike and rode home, trying to figure out how to confront Niki with his latest discovery, the day after he had said he “went painting.”

“Let’s see how it goes,” he thought, “maybe the best thing to do is to say nothing at all.”

 

He didn’t have the chance to say anything about it, because Niki wasn’t home, but had left a note on the table.

“I’ll do the cooking tonight, so right now I’m going to the supermarket! How did the exam go? Love, A.”

Inno looked at the note with mock disgust, chuckled and said to himself:

“You cook tonight? Is that supposed to make me feel happy?”

He had experienced some of Niki’s very limited culinary capabilities and when he looked around he realized they weren’t any better than his housekeeping. Everything Inno saw indicated ‘creative chaos’: sketch books lying about on the table, crayons everywhere (‘coincidentally’ a lot of blue ones), clothing on the small cabinet in the hallway. Since he had nothing better to do, he decided to clean up a bit.

He started with removing a pair of jeans and a t-shirt from the hallway cabinet, but while doing so some white papers slipped from under the garments and whirled to the floor, some of them turning over while falling. Inno looked in surprise at what the papers revealed. The topside was adorned with a snarling doghead and the words ‘Living in your Eyes’ with the six-letter name ‘Maddog’. Each letter was in a different color of the rainbow. Quickly he turned the other papers around. All five of them were decorated the same way! More than that, they weren’t damaged as they would have been if they were torn off from some wall. They were brand-new, fresh out of the printer.

Inno smiled contented. What more evidence did he need?

He had to consider what to do with his discovery, but before he took his decision he folded all the papers and tucked them in his back pocket. There was no use losing perfectly good evidence. After he threw the clothes in the laundry basket he returned to the living room to start some ‘re-organizing’ there. He was just stacking all the sketch books on the table when he heard the apartment door open.

“Hi, angel! Is that you?” he called out.

“Yeah.” came the reply from the hallway, “You’re already home! How did the exam go, sweetheart?”

“Just fine.” he shouted back.

“Cool!” Niki answered. “Gimme a few minutes. First, I want to put the groceries away.”

“That suits me just fine!” Inno thought, having made up his mind.

Deliberately he waited a minute or two before he strolled to the kitchen. He found Niki putting groceries in cabinets and in the fridge. He moved behind and wrapped his arms over his boyfriend’s belly kissing him softly on the neck. Then he whispered huskily in his ear:

“Hi there, Maddog!”

Inno sensed how Niki’s whole body stiffened. Without turning around he growled, clearly agitated:

“Please honey. Not that bullshit again. I told you before that I am not Maddog.”

Inno took the leaflets out of his back pocket, unfolded them and held them in front of Niki’s eyes. After a few seconds he uttered a meaningful and extremely lingering:

“Reeeeeaaaalllyyyy?”

It caused a reaction! Shocked, Niki turned around, looked in his eyes and barked:

“Where did you find those?”

Smiling Inno said:

“I didn’t find them. They were on the small cabinet in the hallway, under your jeans and t-shirt. They were simply waiting to be revealed.”

“It doesn’t mean a thing.” Niki snapped.

It turned into one of those rare situations when Inno started to lose his temper. Unusually sharply he said:

“Now, stop playing dumb! I sure hope you don’t take me for a fool, dude! Six brand-new leaflets with Maddog’s trademark on them, fresh out of the printer. And on top of that your shocked reaction! Especially that! It told me it’s true!”

He took a deep breath and tried to calm things down:

“What makes it so difficult for you to tell me you are the famous Maddog?”

“Maddog is not famous.” Niki snarled.

“In that case I’ve got news for you.” Inno maintained an even voice. “You know what happened to me this morning?”

He didn’t wait for a reaction but continued:

“I saw your latest artwork on the wall opposite my school. You know, the blue face and the blue hand with the pills in it… and the black lettering, that said ‘Delicious.’ I studied it intently, for a while. When I was finished and turned around to leave there was a whole group of kids from school behind me, and they were all looking at the painting. Their eyes told me they liked it a great deal.”

He stopped for a few seconds to let it sink in, then went on:

“And when I saw your art the first time, the Christmas tree with those funny balls and the kitten, there was a miniature riot over it between the people who liked it and those who abhorred it. Not everyone likes what you paint but I don’t think the purpose of art is to have everyone like it. Art must cause emotions, stir up thinking, move people, no matter in which direction. And that is what your art does.”

Suddenly Inno felt frightened. He knew it was time for the final step, but he realized he could ruin all he loved with only a few words. But nevertheless, he said:

“So, I ask again: are you Maddog? Normally the answer is ‘yes’ or ‘no,’ but the way the cards lay on the table now, ‘no’ won’t do!”

The look on Niki’s face scared him, he was pale, his eyes full of unreasonable fear, his breathing shallow and too fast.

“My God.” Inno’s mind screamed, “What makes this so difficult for him? He’s an artist… so what?”

Despite the fact he felt fear of his own, he decided to get it all out in the open. He pushed his nose right up against Niki’s nose. He spoke his next words as gently as was humanely possible, but the emphasis he put on each word made it clear he was no longer in the mood for playing games.

“Now, you listen to me! I’m not a cop who wants to nail you. I’m not an angry real estate owner who wants to get even with you. I’m your boyfriend, your lover, the boy who hopes to build a life with you. But it seems I’m also the boyfriend and the lover who isn’t to be trusted. And angel, I hate feeling mistrusted! Although I have no idea where to go to if we don’t clear this between us, you place me in a position where I might decide to walk out on you. I don’t want to, but if you keep me out of an important part of your life, excluding me from a complete relationship, what choice do I have? Because then that beautiful thing we have together is doomed to fail!”

“Why?” Niki asked, tears welling up in his eyes.

“Because I want all of you, without any parts left out of it. Like I give you the whole of me.”

“Don’t leave me!” Niki implored, more and more tears streaming over his cheeks. “Don’t walk out on me!”

The poor boy started to shake, his whole body looked ready to fall apart.

“Then just say it…” Inno beseeched him, “Just say you are Maddog… simply because you are.”

Niki bowed his head and closed his eyes. Streams of tears pressed themselves from under the closed eyelids. After a few seconds he gave a barely discernable nod and then muttered softly:

“Yes… I am Maddog.”

Out of pure relief Inno gave in to the urge his heart inspired him to and he embraced Niki, pulling his bowed head in his chest. He felt the boy’s shoulders shake, he heard the sobs and it bewildered him beyond reasonable measure.

“I don’t get what made it so hard for him! Just three simple words and he goes through all this unnecessary pain to avoid speaking them out loud. Why?”

Coincidentally his eye fell on the kitchen counter, where groceries were still waiting.

“Let’s forget the groceries for a while.” he said softly, taking Niki by the hand, “And sit down and talk this over.”

Niki let himself be led meekly to the living room where they sat on the couch. For another time Inno took him in his arms to comfort him, but when the most intense part of the panic seemed to have passed, he asked:

“Can you try to explain to me what made it so enormously difficult to admit you are Maddog?”

Niki nodded and Inno waited patiently, but when nothing came after more than five minutes he tried prompting his lover with a careful:

“Well…?”

Niki looked at him, with fear still in his eyes and said with a trembling voice:

“Only if you promise that you won’t leave me.”

With a re-assuring smile Inno replied:

“No need to, you told me what I wanted to know. So don’t be afraid, I’m not going anywhere.”

Niki nodded reassured by the guarantee and started his explanation:

“Street Art is the only thing that was my own domain, the sole part of life I could control without interference. The only thing that gave me the chance to feel free. For the rest, my father planned, arranged and dictated everything. Almost up to each single move I made and each step I took. He planned and enforced my future down to the smallest detail without me having any say in it. Of course, I resisted, but to keep me pliable he bribed me with the most extravagant presents, things other kids couldn’t even dream about, not to mention have.”

He took a short break, sighed and continued:

“And then I accidentally came across street art. I don’t know why, but I sensed it was my way out of the drudge. It promised something where I could do my own thing like I wanted to do it. And gradually it gave me the opportunity to carve my own parallel life, beside the life that was governed by my father. It became my other ‘me.’ I became mighty protective over it, even almost jealous. It was my thing and I wanted to keep it that way. I protected and defended it vigorously, keeping it a secret.”

Inno nodded. He was starting to understand what was going on, but he didn’t say a word, just waited for the following part of the sad story. It came:

“When my old man exiled me to Merligborn things became even worse. I ended up in a shitty, frustrating, humiliating job, forced upon me in an autocratic way. I have to work for a branch manager who is that dreadful it is almost inhumane to have to work for him. As an extra disadvantage this city didn’t have a street art scene. But I coped with it. Because when I got home my art was waiting for me. It gave me new courage, new life, new freedom. It was the thing that gave me a way to shape my own life and follow my own dreams beside that servile job. And if there was no street art over here, why not introduce it? But maybe…”

For a few seconds he let his head rest in his hands, recovered and said:

“Maybe I got a bit too overzealous in defending my freedom. So, when you confronted me in the kitchen, I felt my freedom endangered, wanted to defend it to keep the escape route open from the drabness and mediocrity around me. But… Inno, sweetheart, believe me, it was never mistrust. It was only fear, unreasonable fear!”

Inno was satisfied with the explanation. His frustration about the suspected mistrust and his earlier anger had dissipated. For another time he followed his heart, took Niki in his arms and started to rock him gently, at the same time stroking his long, soft black hair. They sat in each other’s arms for a long time, without speaking a word. Not even a cough was heard. There was total silence. A silence Inno didn’t break, he wanted to give his love time to evacuate the stress and anxiety. Niki needed a mental rest, a way to recover some of peace of mind again. It was their way of repairing the damage.

After a very extensive pause Inno broke the silence.

“Where did you learn street art?” he asked.

“On the street.” Niki replied almost indifferently.

“You must be kidding me.” Inno objected with one of his sweet-teasing smiles. “You were walking on the street and just like that you had the great idea of making a painting on a wall?”

“No, of course not.” Niki said.

“So?” Inno pressed the matter, “The question still stands.”

Niki looked thoughtfully at some vague point in the room and started to tell how he ended up in the street art scene.

“When I was, I guess fifteen, I met this street art painter in Hamburg. I liked what he was doing and wanted to do it myself, like I just told you. So, he offered to teach me. He was a great mentor, teaching me all the techniques and tricks, the background of it all, the symbology and typology to use, all that stuff.”

He sighed, wiped his hand over his eyes and continued:

“He proved to be a great mentor in other things as well.”

“Such as?” Inno wanted to know, becoming mighty curious.

“If you really want to know, he taught me how to suck his cock, to bend over and take it up the ass. How to pose nude and be a porno star, I was his toy boy and plaything and he used me. I guess you could say he taught me everything a young apprentice street artist needs to know. And then he exchanged me for another cute boy and put my pictures on the internet. But… you know, yes, I was really pissed off about that. Maybe I should stay mad at him because he damaged me. But I’m not so sure about that any longer. He did wrong things, but, you know, he taught me other valuable things as well. I’m grateful for that, I still use, conscious or unconscious, what I learned from him, up to the present day… in art and in bed.”

A sad grin came on his face when he said:

“So, you might say you still have the benefits of his lessons.”

Inno rolled his eyes and growled in mock anger:

“Fuck you, angel!”

“Mmmmmmm…” Niki muttered teasingly, “That’s the best idea you’ve had today.”

“No, no,” Inno grinned adamant, “first there is this other thing I want to know!”

“What?” Niki mumbled slightly annoyed.

Inno pressed his chest against Niki’s, looked directly into his dark-brown eyes and asked:

“Angel, what does this line mean that you always use in your art? This ‘Living in your eyes’?”

Niki was briefly taken aback by the unexpected question, but finally he answered:

“I don’t know what the original poet meant by it. It’s from some song I really like.”

“You always use it! So, it must have a special meaning for you.” Inno insisted. “I don’t care what the poet meant. I want to know what it means to you!”

With a deep, somewhat desolate sigh Niki started an extensive answer:

“Ever since I can remember, I always had the feeling that nobody cares about me. Nobody saw me as me, nobody smiled at me. It made me feel as if I wasn’t living in their eyes. My parents? Oh well, for them I’m not a human being, but only an asset, a prospective manager in my father’s company, if properly managed during my growing up. My own aspirations and feelings were totally subordinate to that overruling aim. You might say it was all about them, only how they saw me was alive in their eyes, not the real me.”

“That is a sad thing to say.” Inno interrupted gently, stroking his lover comfortingly, a hand on his neck. Niki ignored the remark and continued:

“There were a lot of girls at school who had me living in their eyes as a very desirable bed partner for a night or a few nights. But I don’t like girls! I can’t help it. I’ve got nothing against them, but I don’t feel any attraction towards them in that one specific aspect. I either ignored them or rebuffed them and then my living in their eyes was of very short duration. It wasn’t me who lived in their eyes, but some sexy guy, one to boast about, saying that they were fucked by him. When the boys started to notice, they concluded I was ‘on the wrong side’ and they started shunning me, leaving no space for me in their eyes as well.”

“I guess some of them must have been blind in the first place.” Inno snickered.

“And then I met Raimund.”

Inno looked at him questioningly, not understanding right away who this Raimund person was.

“He’s the street artist in Hamburg I just mentioned. I guess I have said enough about him.”

“Oh, him. Yeah, that’s a real tough one.” Inno confirmed.

“When I got in the street art scene they respected me.” Niki continued, “But there was also a fair amount of fear because we were in competition. Which sounds absurd, as if we had to worry about turnovers.”

“What is it about then?” Inno asked, not fully understanding.

“It’s all about your ranking in the scene pecking order and that can get fairly competitive. Anyway, I felt like I was an outcast, not wanted by anybody, not living in anyone’s eyes and that depressed me enormously. It made me feel… worthless. When I started making art, I just signed with Maddog in black paint. But when I noticed people were looking at my art I felt as if I was alive in their eyes through the painting for just a tiny bit and just a few seconds. Then I heard this song and I liked this one line. So, I made it my slogan, designed the poster and started using it.”

“You’re wrong.” Inno whispered in Niki’s ear.

Niki looked at him in surprise. What could possibly be wrong with his explanation?

With a beaming loving smile Inno said:

“Even without poster you’re living in my eyes! You’ve been doing so since the second I saw you the first time. Don’t you ever forget that!”

That said, Inno pushed his lips forward until they touched Niki’s for a tender kiss, rapidly moving into an intense tongue kiss. It seemed to last for minutes, at least it lasted until Niki was able to moan:

“I need you!”

“Then let me take you!” was Inno’s sole whispered reply.

 

Once they quenched their desires and cleaned themselves up under the shower it was too late to start cooking. So by way of exception Inno reluctantly agreed to a pizza delivery. After they had devoured it Inno said:

“It’s a beautiful spring evening. How about a nice walk in the park? I need to chill from that exam.”

Niki judged it to be a great idea and they left the apartment on their way to the Merlig Springs Park.

It was a park in the city center where five small brooks sprung with a soft murmuring sound into ponds, forming the same number of tiny streams that converged at the edge of the park like the fingers of a hand to become the Merlig River. It wasn’t a majestic water barrier crossing the city, but a fairly narrow water that stretched for four kilometers before it emptied into the slightly larger Lippe River. The park around them was dominated by many very old trees, the homes for a multitude of birds, shrubbery and lawns and by some old buildings along the park’s rims.

They sauntered through the quiet park. There were only some elderly strollers, a few young couples and the always present joggers. Inno and Niki felt happy, terribly in love and completely at ease, showing it all in one symbol by walking hand in hand. It netted them some baleful glances in the beginning, but they didn’t bother about it. However, after a while even Inno, who normally had an evenly good-natured character, became irritated. When a young girl-boy couple threw them angry looks and giggled about them he burst out:

“Got a problem with it, guys?”

“No, but…” the boy protested.

“What but?” Inno said slightly aggressively. “Let’s settle this once and for all. You two have a right to your own life and love, but we have the same right as well. Got that?”

They got it. Both smiled sheepishly, apologized and hurried away.

“Don’t get uptight over it, sweetheart.” Niki said.

“Why not?” Inno reacted. “It is time they learned something! And it’s about time I stood up against all this.”

They walked on accompanied by the musical sounds of a singing blackbird in one of the trees. Inno looked up with mollified eyes and said softly:

“I love the singing of blackbirds. They sing so beautifully.”

He smiled and changed subject in his typical way when he said:

“You know, I had a rough day today. First I had this exam…”

“But you said it went OK?”, Niki asked, not really understanding what had changed.

“Oh yes, it went without a hitch.” Inno answered. “But fun is something different. Then we had our first… eeeuhhh… serious quarrel seems to be the perfect way to describe it. But hey…we mastered that in a most splendid way, I think. And….”

He bent his mouth towards Niki’s face, pressed a soft kiss on the cheek and whispered conspiratorially in his ear:

“And the making-up after it was a stairway to heaven!”

Niki grinned shyly, but agreed wholeheartedly. The making-up had been beyond all expectations.

“Oh, I forgot something.” Inno giggled cheerfully.

“What?” Niki asked curious.

Inno grinned:

“You won’t believe it. I came out at school today! And told them I had the sweetest boyfriend in the world.”

“You did what?” Niki cried out flabbergasted. “Why that? It might cause you a lot of problems! Avoidable problems if you had shut up about it.”

Inno grew serious when he said:

“I’ve been thinking about it for some time now, but always decided against it. I didn’t want to hurt my mother. She would be heartbroken if she knew I was gay. In fact, she was heartbroken that night I moved in with you! And I didn’t want her to hear it from some gossiping so I thought it was better to keep it quiet. But since she knows now, there’s no longer any reason to be secretive about it.”

He grinned and added:

“And as far as problems are concerned? It doesn’t matter, it will only be for another two weeks. After that I’m gone. But somehow, I don’t expect any, because I saw a very interesting and unexpected reaction to my announcement. Come on, angel, sit with me on the lawn!”

“He did it again.” Niki thought with a slight grin. It started to become apparent to him that Inno had a very gentle, kind and especially non-compelling way of getting things done. Niki liked that, so without objecting he sat down next to Inno, their shoulders and heads together, enjoying the last sunlight of the day, the blackbird still singing his arias.

“What I meant to say… was that the class almost evenly divided in pro and con. About half of them found it great that I came out, that I chose to be open about my own life and dreams and they wished me all the luck in the world. The other half reacted as was to be expected. They were the cons and die-hard homophobes who called it a gruesome sin and all that bullshit. And a few kept quiet, said nothing at all. Maybe because they have no opinion, but maybe… they might be something other than straight themselves and kept silent out of fear for their own queer preferences. I don’t know. But most of all I wanted to share how happy and proud I am!”

“Proud of what?” Niki wondered.

“Proud of my sweetest and most desirable, cute boyfriend.” Inno snickered. “I showed your picture that I have on my cell phone to some of my class mates. Angel, the girls were really jealous of me.”

Niki ignored the last remark and looked up to the sky that was a dark velvet-blue by now, sighed and said, sad and angry at the same time:

“Why is it everybody wants to debate homosexuality? What is wrong with us? Let’s face it, I love you, you love me. There are other men here in Merligborn who love other men and the same goes for all of Germany and for the rest of the world. And all of a sudden everybody has an opinion, pro or con. Doesn’t matter. they have an opinion about it. It’s none of their fucking business. Nobody discusses it when a boy loves a girl and the other way around. But now, when we love each other, everybody has something to say about it! I simply don’t get it! Whose business is it anyway how we live our lives or who we love?”

Inno looked at him, a comforting smile on his face. However, the smile also betrayed curiosity, as if it wanted to express:

“What else is coming out of his heart?”

He didn’t have to wait long. Niki took a deep breath before he continued his angry tale:

“Do I ask why Herr Weber has to beat his wife before he is finally able to get his dick hard enough to fuck her? Is it my business my three hundred pound neighbor must dress up as a young girl before he can even think about sex? So… I really don’t get it that everybody feels the need to support or condemn us! Oh shit, … sorry, honey, I guess I’m just ranting.”

Unexpectedly Inno broke out laughing. It annoyed Niki:

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing, angel.” Inno apologized, still snickering. “You are totally right. But, to be honest… the image of your neighbor in girly clothes was a bit too much for me!”

Niki realized the laughability of the image, lay his head on Inno’s shoulder and laughed as well. But Inno became serious again when he said:

“Listen! We have nothing to account for to anybody. We’re only accountable to and responsible for each other and the rest…? Let them gossip, let them laugh.”

With a grin on his face, he added:

“Ever thought they are simply jealous, because the two of us have something together they can only dream of? Or did you really think that your Herr Weber is a happy man? And what is by far the easiest thing to do when you’re jealous? Exactly, ridicule and humble the one who has what you haven’t.”

“I wish I had half the courage you have.” Niki said thoughtfully.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Inno asked.

“Nothing.” was the abrupt reply.

Suddenly Niki felt terribly ashamed of himself. He came to the conclusion he was just another coward:

“I don’t get it. Here’s this very tough little guy, who seems to brave all the storms while I am still walking on a leash, because I am enslaved by wealth and have become completely addicted to it. I go to great lengths to avoid someone in Hamburg finding out that I’m gay… for the same reason.”

“What are you thinking?” Inno asked penetratingly, his eyes demanding an answer.

“That you are the hero of the two of us.” Niki answered. “Another quote from Bowie, you know: ‘We can be heroes’… but you already are.”

“What has Bowie got to do with it?” Inno quizzed, not getting the meaning of Niki’s words.

Niki shrugged and smiled when he said:

“You used the words “Absolute Beginner” once.”

“Since we walked in the park hand in hand, making our love very clear, we are both heroes.” Inno reasoned.

Niki took Inno in his arms, looked into his magic grey eyes and briefly ran his hand over the ginger-blond curls. Inno giggled, embraced his lover and laid his lips on Niki’s ear. He whispered:

“You are such a sweet boy. I love you so much.”

For another time their lips touched. They completely merged. Like in the movies there was romantic background music, in their case provided by the blackbird, who seemed unable to stop singing, and the soft rustling of an evening breeze in the leaves.

Someone yelled:

“Do that at home, sissies!”

Both looked up and saw two somewhat overweight thick-set boys, who were shaking their fists threateningly. Impulsively Niki shot into a rage, his eyes burning with anger, and cried out:

“Fuck the both of you!”

Inno just looked calmly at the guys who had insulted them, grinned and said clearly audible for the thick duo:

“Don’t bother about them. They are not worth the effort to open your jeans.”

They both roared with laughter, making the thick-set homophobes slink away in humiliated silence with their tails between the legs. Being all alone in the park now, both lovers gave in to the temptation of another kiss.

 

And then there was this still ongoing matter of Niki’s unknown ‘admirer,’ the writer of the exceptionally coarse literary letters.

They kept coming, but neither of them cared to read them. The only thing they did was bring them to the police once a week as extra evidence, should the idiot be caught. The one thing they didn’t do was worry about it. It had become a nuisance, but nothing more and it was no longer something that ruled their lives or caused them any fear or insecurity.

Alas, not much happened as far as police results were concerned.

“The cops are not really successful in finding that character. Or they don’t care about it!” Niki sighed one evening

Inno thought about it briefly,

“I don’t agree. No, they haven’t found him yet, that’s right. But I can imagine it is very hard to find a guy like that. I mean, if this kind of moron was running down the street in a fluffy pink duckling suit, a bright yellow wig, red cap nose and oversized orange shoes… well, they would find him soon enough. But it could be anyone. Someone who looks like every other grey mouse that passes on the street.”

“I guess you’re right.” Niki answered. “But it makes me a bit dispirited.”

“Stop!” Inno said abruptly, raising his hand as if he wanted to cut off any further conversation about the subject.

“What?” Niki asked surprised.

“What did I say just a few seconds ago?” Inno asked.

Niki shrugged:

“Something about guys in pink duckling suits.”

“No, that’s not what I meant. Did I say ‘grey mouse’?” Inno asked slowly, as if he was thinking at the same time.

After he had rewound the previous conversation in his head, Niki nodded, missing the clue.

“When did I think ‘grey mouse’?” Inno muttered softly, “In combination with ‘grey car’?”

“Huh?” Niki uttered, his eyes large with incomprehension.

“Let me concentrate, angel.” Inno said sharply. “This might be important!”

Niki shut up, watching how Inno pinched his eyes, almost visibly thinking about something, focusing on what appeared to be a vague memory. After a while Inno said:

“It’s starting to come back… it was one of the weekends I was waiting outside trying to find the guy who is doing this.”

Tense and in suspense Niki stared at Inno, willing the words from his lips. But no new disclosures came, Inno just kept staring with great concentration in an all-out effort to get the images back in his mind. It took some time before Inno said sluggishly:

“There was this man… he was so inconspicuous I hardly noticed him when he slipped into the building, only to return a few minutes later. He was some kind of shady figure, fast in, fast out! That was on the first Saturday!”

Niki could no longer stand the tension which had risen to an unbearable level. His thoughts screamed for clarity, for answers, not sometime, but as in NOW! Breathless he pushed Inno a bit by whispering:

“And then?”

“Then…,” Inno replied in broken sentences, “he was there again… the next Saturday… did exactly the same… in… out after a few minutes… kind of smirk on his face. He walked towards a grey car, stepped in... drove off... wait a minute!”

Inno jumped up, walked to the kitchen and came back with the calendar. Quickly he flipped through the pages, but then he smiled:

“Yeap, you had fan mail on those two Saturdays. I think we have our man!”

“Who, what did he look like?” Niki almost cried out, the stress in his body yelling for answers that might bring something tangible, “Can you describe him?”

“Difficult…,” Inno sighed. “It was early evening with the light already fading. But, the shadows made me think ‘grey mouse’… he was one… the stereotype low-grade city council official. In his fifties, combed-back thinning grey hair, slim build, drab suit. Well, you know the type. What made him noticeable was he had a funny way of walking when he went to the car, he walked with short, pedantic, almost arrogant gait.”

“Say that again!” Niki yelled, no longer making an effort to subdue the volume of his voice.

Inno repeated it, but the reason for Niki’s excitement eluded him.

“Did he have rimless glasses?” Niki pressed agitated, searching for more information.

Shrugging, Inno shook his head, muttering:

“I don’t know. Can’t say for sure. Like I said, I really noticed him by his gait. Yes, he wore glasses, but don’t ask me if they were rimless.”

“Goddamned!” Niki exclaimed.

“You recognize who it is?” Inno asked surprised.

“No,” Niki replied, “but what you said about his gait gives me a pretty good idea who it might be.”

“Who?” was Inno’s curious reaction.

Niki looked stealthily around him, then bent over, placing his lips against Inno’s ear and whispered the answer, as if he was afraid others might hear it as well.

Inno reacted with an incredulous look of alarm in his eyes and muttered:

“My God! Angel, he really got under your skin, didn’t he?”

Niki dropped his eyes in shame and stammered:

“I… I guess… he is the type that gets under everybody’s skin.”

“Yeah, well,” Inno concluded, “let’s go to the cops tomorrow and talk it over with them. I think it is about time they investigate this funny character a bit more closely.”

With a deep sigh Niki concurred. It was all up to the cops by now.