Maddog & The Pope (Learning to fly on Broken Wings) - 10. Chapter 10 Rock Bottom!!

The next morning, just another morning which would doubtless become another dull working day, Niki prepared to go to work. He took his time. It was not that he wanted to be late on purpose, but he had decided to execute that vague plan he had the day before. Apart from the normal things he applied his delicate touch of eyeliner, but he did it with diabolic pleasure!

“I’m really mighty curious what Snake Eyes is going to do about it!” he thought, grinning.

Right on time he stepped into the store, ignoring the surprised faces and the excited murmurs of his colleagues. He knew his eyeliner was the only difference compared to the previous day and it was the cause for this slight unrest, but he didn’t think of it as a reason to be excluded from work. So, he just started to do what he was paid for!

Nothing happened, Weber was nowhere to be seen again.

“Is Snake…Herr Weber not in today?” he asked another salesman.

With a nod in the direction of the office door the man answered:

“He has locked himself up in his office again. He’s behaving stranger by the day since the run-in you had with him!”

“Even stranger than before?” Niki grinned, “That’s hardly possible!”

“Guess you’re right,” his colleague answered with a grin of his own. “but the way he behaves now sure makes working here a lot more pleasant and quiet.”

The morning calm vanished into thin air around eleven. Niki heard the office door open, but didn’t pay any attention to it. The less he saw Weber the better it was. But he had to face the man when he heard the icy, clipped voice:

“Young man, there is a phone call for you. I strongly suggest you take it!”

There didn’t seem to be another choice. He walked into the office and saw the receiver lying on the desk. The call was unexpected, but he didn’t foresee any danger. He was unaware of the metaphorical black clouds hanging over him. He picked up the telephone.

“Hello?” he said, curious as to who the caller was.

The angry question hit him like a bullet, fired by a pistol aimed at his head at point blank range:

“Are you a backloader?”

It was his father!

Niki assumed the man’s obvious rage had to be over his eyeliner. No doubt Snake Eyes had complained about it. If his father ordered him to remove it, he would. It was no big deal, actually it was nothing more than a kind of joke. Boy, was he wrong! The call had nothing to do with that, at least only in passing. At that moment all hell broke loose!

“Answer the question!” his father barked.

He had no idea what a backloader was, had never heard of the word, so, feeling confused, he said:

“A what?”

“Don’t fool around with me, boy!” he heard a threatening growl. “Yes or no, proklyat’ye -goddamned!”

“How can I answer the question if I don’t know what a backloader is?” he cried out. “Honestly! I don’t know!”

A disparaging grunt came from far away Hamburg, followed by another icy question:

“Fine, I’ll ask it another way. Are you a goddamned fairy, a dirty raver, a pedik? Are you one of those godless queers that fucks other boys, or lets himself be fucked by them? Oh no, don’t answer that last question. I don’t want to know! It might make me sick! Or do you always kiss boys on a bench in some park at night?”

“Who the fuck told you that?” he screamed. “How do you know that?”

“Ah,” his father replied, a hateful triumph in his voice, “so you don’t deny it, huh?”

“It’s none of your fucking business, is it?” Niki tried to evade, in vain.

“Yes, it is! Because you happen to be my son. And I happen to hate pediki!”

“That’s your problem,” Niki snapped back sharply. “Not mine!”

“Just answer the question, boy!” his father almost yelled. “A simple yes or no will do!”

Niki was painfully aware the question had been postponed, delayed and circumnavigated all of his life, but was now there in front of him and unavoidable. The final rupture with his father was mere seconds away. He was intimately aware that he had put this confrontation off, banished it to some never to arrive future time, because he was addicted to the wealth. Now he would have to go cold turkey, he would transform from a spoiled rich kid to a beggar. The implicit result where he to deny his father’s accusation would be to disavow Inno, possibly even lose him. That was a price too high to pay. His relationship with Inno was much more valuable than all the cash and goodies his father threw at him to make him stay a good boy. This realization made him stand up… finally, at long last!

“Yes… I am!” Niki answered with a frosty calmness that surprised him.

“You’re playing with fire, boy,” his father growled.

Niki stood his ground, he had gone in for a penny, now it was time to go in for the whole pound.

“So be it,” Niki reacted with a calmness that flabbergasted him. “But I’m not finishing what I have with Inno. I love him. No money can compensate for that!”

“You goddamned sukin syn - whore’s son!” his father roared down the telephone.

There was a silence, a silence that amazed Niki. It was as if his father needed a breather. It was the eye of the storm. It passed and the thunderous shouting match resumed, he was served promptly with the consequences, the reality of the aftermath.

“Don’t bother to go to work tomorrow, you’re fired. Forget your allowance and credit card and start looking for another place to live. You’re on your own now, boy. It’s swim or drown!”

There was only one idea in Niki’s mind:

“That’s it! The die is cast. I’m free now!”

But his old man was not satisfied yet and it appeared he was hellbent on spewing all his anger in one go.

“For all your life I’ve put up with your caprices and whims, I accepted every demand, gave you all you wanted. You’re as bad as your mother was…! The both of you are like vampires. The only difference that you don’t suck blood, but money and patience. Maybe I should have seen it coming, but I preferred to shut my eyes. My patience is over now. I won’t tolerate this. This time you managed to overstep the final red line!”

“And why might that be?” Niki asked, his voice sharp as a razor blade.

“First of all because I hate pediki! And I hate you for being one and that you are a son of your mother! I hate the both of you! Pust’ d’yavol dostanet vas obhoikh – that the devil may get both of you!”

“What has my mother got…”, Niki started to cry out.

There was a click which made clear all had been said, at least on the Hamburg side of the connection.

“…to do with it?” he muttered into the buzzing receiver.

He was too stunned to react. He might have been mad with himself, frightened, panicking or simply sad. There was nothing, only that one thought that he mulled over:

“What has mom got to do with it?”

Only then it hit him like a brick. No longer did he have the shield of money to hide behind, he would also be without a place to live pretty soon. His family he lost in a second. He was on his own. Niki finally had his total freedom, but at a high price.

“I always sensed you hated me all of my life and not only for being gay,” he uttered under his breath with a sigh. His upcoming anger dictated him to smash the phone, but his common sense prevailed and stopped that brash action. Instead, he threw it on the desk, thinking:

“If I’m sacked, I might as well walk out of this dreadful place right now!”

Then he noticed Herr Weber, “Snake Eyes,” standing in the doorway, a satanic and contemptuous smile playing around his thin lips. Niki walked over and as he passed the creepy man he snarled in impotent rage and frustration:

“Fuck you, Snake Eyes!”

He was set to walk out, but stopped after two steps and turned around, his eyes full of hate. The antagonism had accumulated over the months. He looked at the branch manager straight in his cold eyes and lashed out:
“Forget that last remark. Only thinking of it makes me wanna puke!”

“Well, go flaunt you ass somewhere else,” the man said vitriolically. “Goodbye, and have a good life!”

 

For a second Niki felt an almost irrepressible urge to attack the guy, but despite his rage, controlled himself.

“He’s not worth all the shit I’ll get from it! He’s just a piece of filth!”

Confused, hurt and angry he stepped out of the tiny office, went to the small workplace locker and took his personal things. He strode through the store with an angry pace, not speaking a word to anyone, leaving his father’s private kingdom for the very last time.

As soon as he felt the warm summer air around him he fell apart and panicked!

He started running berserk, wanting to be as far away as possible from his father and anything that had to do with him, only partly and vaguely aware he was running towards home. He didn’t see anything or anyone, didn’t hear a thing. He dashed pass people, not reacting to their indignant protests, he ignored the red pedestrian traffic lights, avoiding cars purely on instinct… he just ran on! He wanted to be home… safely in Inno’s arms. Inno would comfort him. Inno would know how they could survive this. Inno would sooth his nerves and give him some advice.

In a haze he recognized his apartment building’s main entrance and rushed inside. He ran up the stairs, two, three steps at a time, until he reached the front door of his safe haven! Inno would be waiting for him!

He unlocked the door without noticing it shouldn’t have been locked in the first place and fled in.

“Inno…,” he called out, “Inno…”

There was no reply! Inno didn’t answer!

“Inno…!” he screamed out in despair.

There was no reaction!

By now panic was frying his mind. He looked in the kitchen, the bedroom, the bathroom. There was no trace of Inno.

“Inno… where are you?” he whimpered.

Lastly, he entered the living room. On the table was a note.

“No… don’t do that…” he cried out. “Don’t tell me you left me too!”

He grabbed the note and read it. It had perfectly innocent, even sweet contents:

“Hi angel,

Just in case I’m really late….

Because of our last night’s unplanned activities, I forgot to tell you that I have an important appointment today. I’ll be back as soon as I can!

Sweet kiss (you can tell me later where you want it…)

 

Love you

I”

Niki closed his eyes, exhaling in relief. At least this hadn’t ended in a disaster. But it left him on his own for the time being, vainly attempting to control his fears and panic with his dwindling resources of strength and resilience. Talking to himself he uttered:

“I’m kicked out of everything. Leaving us without money. We have no home. We’ll starve on the street. We’re stray dogs now! Like Lukas…: kicked out for being gay! But Lukas was tough…he could survive it. Can we…? Can we really?”

He slumped on the floor, his back against the wall. Tears stung his eyes.

“Inno will know what to do. I hope he’s back soon! He’ll know how to deal with this!”

However, for the time being lacking Inno’s strong will and sweet arms, he succumbed to his ever increasing ominous and terrifying visions of the future. He bowed his head, stared at the ground and his arms hung limp beside his body. Tears streamed over his cheeks. Being without money seemed a bleak scenario, the idea of landing on the street was an unimaginable horror. If they were lucky, they might survive! But now it hit him like a meteor and he felt totally used up, completely empty, with not an ounce of energy left… there was nothing left to fight for; there was no longer a goal to live for, he lost it all and his short life had degenerated into a pile of trash. Living on seemed a waste of time to him.

“Why not rip myself?” he uttered, “That solves it all!”

Despite his despair he made a brave but brief attempt to understand the notion that his life had been in vain. No matter how hard he tried to understand, the reasons remained shrouded in darkness.

In a low wailing lament, he cried out:

“I don’t know how to cope with all of it any longer…Can someone please tell me what to do? Please…? Inno... please? Inno…please?”

 

Inno was in high spirits. He had what he wanted! In retrospect it wasn’t such a problem getting it. Whistling he let his ATB roll off the ramp of the parking garage entrance, put it against the wall and closed its lock.

Rapturous he ascended the stairs, whistling replaced by humming. When he came to their apartment door, he took his key to unlock it. But to his surprise the door opened after only half a turn of the key.

“I’m sure I locked it.” he muttered.

He looked at his watch, it was shortly before one.

“It can’t be Niki. He’s still at work.”

His elation evaporated within a second. What was left, was suspicion and a twinge of fear in his heart. Was it the stalker? Did the asshole ignore the street banning order? Had he forced an entry?

He checked if he had his cell phone at hand in case he needed it. Carefully he opened the door wide enough to stick his head around. He scanned the hallway, carefully, on the alert for any indication a stranger might be in their apartment. He saw no one. He strained his ears to hear any unknown, suspicious noise. They didn’t pick up a single sound.

Slowly he entered the hallway, his nerves tense, all his senses on maximum alert. He looked into the kitchen, it was empty. Then the living room, before he entered it. He discerned the contours of a person.

An almost ghostlike apparition sat on the floor, his back against the wall, his knees pulled up against his chest. His head was resting on his knees and his hands folded over the back of his head. Only the clothing enabled Inno to recognize him.

“Niki, what is going on?” Inno cried out horrified. “What happened?”

Niki behaved like a zombie, giving no reaction at all.

Inno fell to his knees in front of the boy, put his hands on both sides of Niki’s head and gently lifted it, so he could see his eyes. What he saw shocked him! The eyelids were a flaming red and the eyeliner, that was put on in the morning with so much bravado, was diluted by the tears and now unevenly distributed over his cheeks in eerie black trails.

But the ghastlier sight was the eyes themselves. They showed an intense fear, even more intense than the evening Inno had pressurized him to admit he was Maddog.

“Niki! Say something!” Inno pleaded. “What happened?”

Niki only shook his head, his mouth open. He continued for minutes on end. It made Inno feel hopeless, his mind raced to find a possible reason for such a shock, but anything he could think of was insufficient to explain Niki’s condition.

He took Niki’s shoulders in a firm embrace, pulled his head against his chest and rocked him gently, repeating his urgent request time after time:

“Niki… please… tell me what happened!”

After several excruciating minutes, the first words came:

“I’m… nothing… I’m… an outcast! I might as well die!”

“’Scuse me?” Inno asked flabbergasted, “Can you explain that a bit more to me, angel?”

With the help of Inno’s embrace and comforting words, Niki was gradually coming out of his fear-induced stupor. Through the haze he started to realize he had gained his freedom at last. But at the same time the question popped up, was it something to be proud of, if he had achieved it, fought for it or did it just happen to him, like a kind of lightning bolt hitting him? There was another, even more overwhelming question, should he be happy with it?

“Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose.”

Niki was by far too young to know that song, he was by far too young to know the singer, who had rasped it out of her throat. But unconsciously he sensed, that this line matched his present emotions, the feeling of desolation.

“Angel…,” he heard Inno whisper, “can you tell me what happened?”

Slowly he found the words:

“He cut me off from everything, money, a place to live. He said he hates me… can’t understand why. Something with my mother. He cut me off definitely from everything. I feel empty. I feel spent.”

Inno tried hard to make sense of it all, but failed.

“Angel, who is ‘he’? And why did he do that?”

“My father! He found out we love each other. You know…, a boy loving a boy.”

“Ah,” Inno started to understand, “he did it because you are gay.”

It was not even a question, more a conclusion. Niki gave the only possible reaction: he nodded.

“Was he here?” Inno wanted to know.

Niki shook his head violently.

“No! He can’t waste any time on a pedik… on the son of a whore. For him, time is money!”

A grim and cynical smile came over his face:

“That’s weird… I’m the one who has all the time in the world now, but I have no money!”

Inno found the whole conversation pretty incoherent and confusing:

“What makes you have so much time now?”

“Because he sacked me as well!” Niki replied in a low whisper.

For reasons unclear to him, Inno seemed to see it from the bright side, because he laughed:

“Great, he finally set you free from that creep, that did everything he could to make your life miserable.”

“Inno, we’re out of money!” Niki cried out. “We’re on the street! We’ll starve!”

“No,” was the emphatic answer, “we won’t!”

Niki looked at him with eyes that were beyond understanding. How could Inno simply disavow the grim reality of their future?

It was exactly at this moment, that Niki discovered an aspect of real life which had been hidden from him until now. He found out that poverty could be an advantage as well! Inno was by no means disturbed or shocked by the bleak picture Niki presented. He was used to poverty. He knew how to get the most out of every euro.

“Don’t be so gloomy.” he said, giving Niki one of his angel-like smiles. “You’re just not used to it, that’s all. There’s more ways to get money. For instance, I just got me a job, so there will be some money for the two of us.”

“You got a job?” Niki asked in surprise. “You never told me!”

“I couldn’t. I only found out this morning. That was the important appointment, you know, the one I mentioned in the note?”

Niki vaguely remembered he had read something like that. Seeing a miniscule spark of hope he asked:

“What… what… what are you going to do?”

“Trainee-nurse in the hospital.” Inno explained. “Don’t expect wonders and wealth. It’s low pay and long and irregular hours, but it is a beginning.”

“But…,” Niki asked, feeling bewondered despite all that went through his head, “what… what about your university?”

“In the end I found it all too theoretical and scientific, blah, blah.” Inno answered with a shrug. “I want to do some hands-on job in helping people. So, I applied and today I got the job.”

“But… I would be living out of your pocket then…” Niki muttered, not really thrilled about that side of the solution.

Inno only kissed him softly:

“Just in case you haven’t noticed, since we have been living together, I have been living here at your expense as well.”

“Yeah…,” Niki objected, “but I had more money!”

“Exactly,” Inno smiled, “with the emphasis on ‘had’! Angel, if the circumstances ask for it, lovers do that for one another. Besides….”

He seemed to think something over, because he kept silent briefly, but then he continued:

“You still have some money. First of all, you worked until today, so your boss will have to pay you until today. After that? No, it won’t be what you were used to, but the two of us will still have money to eat and live. You had a regular job at that store, so you are entitled to unemployment benefit. Just report in at the job center tomorrow, endure all their red tape and they will pay you. And then… find yourself another job, full or part time, then we should have enough to rent a place of our own and make ends meet at the end of the month.”

Niki shrugged with a droopy sigh:

“There is not that much I can do, apart from painting on walls! And they won’t pay me for that.”

Inno was not impressed by the argument:

“How long did you work for your father?”

“About a year.” Niki answered.

“Then you must have learned something. And you know, there are more photo supply shops in town.”

“You mean, working for the competition?” Niki cried out slightly exasperated. “Working against my father?”

“No,” Inno said with an indifferent shrug. “Yes, you will work for the competition, because your boss threw you out. So, it is only logical you look for a job in the same career field, where you have some knowhow and experience. And no, you won’t be working against your father, because he was the one who cut all ties with you. You have no obligations to him any longer. Besides, what else can you do? Die of hunger?”

Niki had to admit Inno had a good point there. But what he hadn’t expected was, that Inno embraced and kissed him, whispering:

“With these two wages we’ll manage. We can pay the rent and we can buy food and stuff. We even might have some spare money to buy paint for you, cute Maddog!”

“But…,” Niki cried out, not fully convinced yet, “where will we live?”

Inno looked around at their luxurious living room:

“Not here. We can’t afford that. We’ll just have to find something we can afford.”

“And what if we don’t find another place before we’re thrown out of here?” Niki asked, his jinxed vision of having to live on the street hitting home for another time.

“That is under control,” Inno said with an enigmatic smile. He took his key ring, selected one particular key and showed it.

“What’s that?” Niki asked, “From your mother’s apartment?”

Inno looked at him in shock:

“No! I couldn’t live there, not after she died there!”

But then he went on in a quiet tone:

“It is the key to the only luxury mom afforded the both of us. It is the key of a small caravan on a camping site just outside town. In the summer we spent holidays and weekends there. It is still there and it belongs to me now. So, if we have to leave here without another place to go, we can stay there for a while. No sweat!”

“What other surprises do you have in store for me?” Niki asked nonplussed.

“You better find out, angel!” Inno giggled. “But you have an advantage: you’ll have the rest of your life to do that!”

Niki felt his dismal mood shift to hope with dazzling speed. It was as he had instinctively anticipated while running home. Inno would know what to do, Inno would find a way!

“Damned, you are a fucking genius!” he could only mutter in admiration, that bordered on devotion.

Inno started to snicker:

“What is that supposed to mean? Do you mean I’m a great genius or that I am a genius at fucking?”

Despite his precarious situation Niki felt an enormous relief and laughed out loud. He took Inno in his arms and whispered:

“You’re both! And what matters most to me, you are so incredibly sweet!”

 

After the obligatory but frustrating and boring visit to the job center (he had been waiting longer than he had spent useful and constructive time with the official), Niki had more than enough time to think things over. He started to search for reasons for the rift his father had forced upon him. The more he investigated his memories, the more it became clear to him this was almost preordained by the way their relationship had developed from an early age.

But first there was this unsolvable riddle of the presumed role of his mother. He had no connection with his mother, nor had there been anything in all these years, not even a conflict. She had been a ‘given thing’ in his life, without any emotional attachment involved from either side. So, why did she have something to do with this hate and the fracture, that came from it? And why did his father stay with her when she behaved like a whore? All this simply didn’t make sense!

But gradually his thoughts turned more and more to what he had done wrong in the relationship with his father. No matter what, what had finally happened was the long awaited falling down of Damocles’ sword after it had been hanging over his head for the last eighteen years.

He also wondered about something else.

“Have I been fighting him enough? Yes… I did! No… I didn’t! I did! No… I didn’t!”

The longer he thought about it, the more it dawned on him that he had fought his father. Maybe he had intended to do more, take the fight further, but he never had. He had done it without any strategy and his fight had been nothing more than nibbling at his father’s overwhelming dominance. He had always been under the impression he was resisting his father by painting other people’s walls, but it had eluded him it didn’t hurt his father at all. The only direct attack had been his artwork on the shop windows of one of his stores. And yes, that must have hurt! But generally speaking, he had done it on a hit-or-miss basis, in fact ending up with missing more than he was hitting. He never sought the direct battle, but had only skirmished along the sidelines.

He had fought from the wrong assumption that his development and actions as a street art painter had been aimed at his father. Maybe they were aimed at society in general, but most definitely not against his prime target.

And the thing he had going on with Raimund? Was that resistance? No, he didn’t think so, it was just a way to express his secret gay side. No matter how he saw it at the time, in the end both things had little to do with real resistance against his father. They were only meant as a way to shape his own niche in life, outside the sphere of control of his omnipresent dictator. If it had been something like opposition then it was very, very underground!

Or… was he only rationalizing? Was he looking for reasons that only fitted the actual situation?

“Dad dominated my life, Raimund dominated me in bed!”

Was there another hidden reason he couldn’t fathom?

But he felt a little proud over the fight he won and lost at the same time. Although his father had not used these words, he implicitly forced Niki to make the choice: the cash or Inno. Then he fought an effective battle and maybe he lost tactically, because he was flat broke after one phone call. But strategically he won, because he still had Inno!

And then there was this other thing which overshadowed all his actions. He always felt he had to fight with one hand shackled behind his back, maybe even both hands. The shackles...? Yes, it was the money, the bribes that were thrown at him on an almost continuous basis. He was ashamed of himself when he had to concede he had been addicted to wealth. Because he had no idea how to live without the endless supply of Euros and his always available credit card. It made him feel corrupted, dirty! And it didn’t help a bit to improve his efforts at defiance. But in the end he renounced the cash when he found the price too high. Or had he only decided that way because his addiction to Inno was even greater?

One night, when they were in bed, he shared his thoughts with Inno. Inno wouldn’t be Inno if he didn’t keep silent for a long time to consider all Niki had said. But then he commented:

“There are two very important aspects in what you say. First: you are so touchingly impulsive and spontaneous. Your naivety makes you so cute. But it makes you do things without plan. When you have an idea and you like it, you start executing it. You jump at any opportunity. That is exactly how you tried to oppose your father. And yes, it proved to be ineffective, because he called the shots!”

He stopped for a few seconds, only to continue:

“Me, I’m totally different. When I have some idea, I start analyzing it, I evaluate and consider all pros and cons, try to come to a balanced judgement. Maybe it results in more effectiveness. But, it is also a time-consuming process, meaning that by the time I have come to some conclusion the opportunity has already passed. Yes, it is for different reasons, but it can make my way of doing things as ineffective as yours! Maybe that is why we fit so well together, you with your impulsivity, me with my tendency to lengthy analysis and consideration.”

It seemed Inno had thought things over in parts, because he resumed his staring at the ceiling without speaking. Niki waited, what else could he possibly do? After a few minutes Inno started to talk again:

“This other thing? I think you are too hard on yourself. You were not addicted to the wealth, otherwise you would have given in during this last phone call. But… you were used to it! And I can’t blame you.”

Niki looked at him, his eyes somewhat surprised.

“No”, Inno said, “See it this way: when a child grows up in an environment where money is a limitless commodity, he doesn’t learn how to cope with deprivations. In his world everything is possible, even the impossible things, because there aren’t any. There’s always money to get what he wants or thinks he needs. He develops into a person, who fears that money is a restricting factor that could limit his possibility to achieve a certain kind of satisfaction and happiness. You remember that evening I corrected you in front of that restaurant?”

Niki nodded. It was not something he would easily forget.

“That made it very obvious. Thank God, I was part of your happiness but you wanted to make sure it would stay that way by drawing your credit card, since… what the fuck, it costs money, but I want to keep him. So, I think it is fair to say you are such a person. The thought you had to step back or might even lose something or someone, because there was no money, could paralyze your feelings. And… it paralyzed your will to break away from your old man. Because he was the one who provided the source of plenty you felt indispensable to be satisfied and kind of happy.”

“But I wasn’t happy at all!” Niki cried out a little angry. Had Inno understood nothing from all he had said?

“In a way you were.” Inno remained adamant. “Painting made you happy! Making your photos made you happy! But, angel… have you ever wondered who was actually paying for your camera and for your paints and materials?”

“Shit… he’s right! Dad paid for all I loved to do!” Niki thought.

Undisturbed Inno continued to explain his line of thought:

“So, yes, your metaphor is correct: it shackled both your hands behind your back while you were trying to fight him. You had an urgent need to break away from all of it but you couldn’t. No matter how ineffectively you did it: I have no doubt, that you wanted to fight your father. But it is pretty hard to have an all-out fight when it is exactly your enemy who is financing your way of struggling. Me? For me it was pretty straightforward. I grew up with the reality that nothing was possible. We always had to scrape every cent together. And when something extra could be done, because there was some more money for whatever reason, I was really happy. But I was always aware that it might turn around very soon, going back to the old situation, where nothing was possible. Besides: I had no problem with my mother.”

He grinned and said in a comforting, almost soothing way:

“If you want to call it addicted… well, angel… then you go cold turkey now. In the beginning you won’t like it one bit, even hate it, but then you’ll get used to it. In the end you will feel the same happiness I did, when we had some extra money that enabled us to do something special for a change. Believe me! It will turn out just fine for the two of us.”

Inno rolled up on him and with a seductive smile he whispered:

“I have to correct one thing I said!”

“What’s that?” Niki asked.

“I’m not always analytical. I can be quite impulsive as well. Especially when I say I want you! And I want you right now, gorgeous angel of mine!”

Niki grinned and whispered:

“Then you better do something about that!”

With Niki having all the time in the world and Inno still on holidays until the first of next month, when he had to start in his new job, it didn’t really matter. It turned into another steaming and passionate night.

 

When the first early sunrays shone into their bedroom the next morning, Niki opened his eyes, rolled over carefully and gave a soft kiss in Inno’s neck. In the beginning he got only a somewhat disturbed and prolonged:

“Hmmmmmmmmmmm.”

But once Inno returned to the world of the living, things became much more lively. He turned over, kissed Niki and whispered:

“Good morning, my sunrise angel.”

“Wow,” Niki reacted with a broad grin on his face, “your compliments are getting more literary by the day!”

“Because you deserve them,” Inno giggled, “I promise I’ll do my best to make up other original ones for every morning, the rest of our lives.”

With a lot of effort Niki tore his gaze away from Inno's angelic face and those compelling eyes. He smiled as he observed his boyfriend's obviously aroused state evident by the bulge in the duvet. This immediately prompted his own desire. His hand slid beneath the bed covers to rest a moment on Inno's bare chest, before sliding down towards the treasure he sought to grasp. A soft moan escaped Inno's lips at the touch.

"Ah..." Inno murmured, "if you continue that..."

Niki grinned.

"What?" he teased while his fingers played with Inno's hard dick.

The boy squirmed with the touch and he twisted his body as Niki moved to cup his tight balls.

"Shall I stop?" Niki smirked as he looked into his boyfriend's eyes.

"God, no!" Inno gasped, as Niki continued to play with him.

"Haven't you had enough?" he joked.

“I can never get enough of you," Inno whispered huskily.

Niki touched a finger to the moist tip of Inno's manhood and he enjoyed the effect.

"Man, you're really hard."

“Yeeahhh," Inno answered. “Take care of it, angel. Please…."

That was not in doubt, Niki was rock hard himself.

He threw off the covers, he wanted to see the object of his desire, and he wanted to worship it. Climbing over the other boy, Niki bent forward and kissed the wet tip, then he slid his lips around the head and down the shaft. Inno gripped Niki' s bottom and his hands prised apart those deliciously firm orbs. His tongue found its way between them. Niki took a sharp intake of breath as the tip of Inno's tongue played across his rosebud. In turn he sucked the throbbing phallus in front of him.

The probing tongue flicking across his asshole and pushing into it sent Niki wild. The sensation was unbelievable and he went crazy with desire, wanting more, wanting to both swallow the large erect cock and to be fucked by it. He began sucking it vigorously, sliding his lips up and down the shaft.

The tongue kept stimulating him, gradually moving in him as far as any tongue can get. This was unbelievable. Then, quite suddenly, the sensation stopped, the tongue was no longer there. Inno slid his body beneath Niki and grabbed his dick, pulling it down between his legs and pushing it into his mouth.

Now they were sucking each other's cocks passionately. They moved into a perfectly balanced choreography. Inno was spellbound, he played with his lover's balls and glided his hands over his smooth round buttocks, squeezing and clutching them which sent Niki wild. In turn Niki's lips wrapped around Inno's throbbing phallus, taking him over the edge very soon. Niki drank down most of the blasts of milky semen, some escaped his lips, and a little he kept in his mouth.

He wanted to give Inno a taste of himself, so he moved quickly to turn around. Leaning over his boyfriend he bent down and their lips joined in a fierce kiss. At the same time Inno's hand wrapped around Niki's bouncing cock. As tongues touched and wrestled, Inno jerked Niki to a climax shooting everywhere, then he collapsed on top of Inno, his heart pounding.

Niki lifted himself up and smiled down at Inno,

"That was great!” he sighed.

“Even better than being fucked?” Inno asked with a grin.

Niki thought it over briefly.

"It's a close second."

They lay together side by side until Inno asked:

“Do we go for some more sleep or do we get up?”

“We might as well get up," Niki answered with a satisfied sigh. “I'm pretty much wide awake anyway.”

“Well, don’t blame me," Inno grinned. “You started it!”

“I didn’t," Niki objected playfully.

Inno smiled, he was certain of his victory in this tiny ‘fight’. He looked at Niki with a twinkle in his eyes.

“Yes, you did! In case you never noticed, it was your hand under the duvet that started it. You're a very bad boy."