The Flamekeepers of Delta Psi Theta - 10. Trust

“And Novo makes 8. That's a full house,” Tyler said with a shit-eating grin.

All of the brothers except for Teo stood in a line before us, just like they had when we first walked into the house. The last time we were all in this front room was when we rushed. Standing here six days later, it was clear how much things had changed. These guys weren’t strangers; they were my pledge bros. They risked death for me. It took Kevin to make me realize that.

“So, today has been a day, hasn’t it?” Teo said, joining the brothers, standing between Bear and Tyler.

That was an understatement. Part of me wanted to reach and touch the new scar on my already scarred arm, but I stood still between Kevin and Track. The rest of our pledge line stayed quiet, unsure if we should talk or not.

“Well, don’t all answer at once,” Teo said, shaking his head with a chuckle, “y’all can relax a bit.”

I almost instinctually went to parade rest as the rest of the guys loosened up a bit. The brothers also visibly relaxed, which I only noticed after Kevin elbowed me and nodded to it. It was almost like the full brothers weren’t 100% sure what was happening, either. That put us on equal footing, which was nice for once.

“So obviously, y’all experienced something crazy today. But y’all came back. Before we go any further, I want to know why each of you came back—starting with you,” Teo said, pointing at Jer at the end of the line.

Jer looked down the line at us and just smiled, “Couldn't leave my bros. Not after all this.”

Teo went to Logan, who answered, “I don't wanna forget these guys.”

Teo walked down the line. Declan said we were the first ones he trusted to have his back. Travis said we were like family to him. He got to Track, who just said the same as Logan. My heart was in my throat as Teo looked into my eyes.

“As pointed out by someone who pays more attention than me, it would be stupid to walk away from these idiots,” I said, meeting Teo’s intense stare.

Kevin chuckled before trying to straighten his face. That quick action broke all of us, though, and laughs started to go up and down the line. The tension caused by Teo’s intensity evaporated. Teo just stared at me until our giggles quieted down. I could see the edges of his mouth curling up as if he was trying to suppress his laugh but having to play the serious guy right now. He moved in front of Kevin, giving him the same intense stare.

“And you?” Teo asked

“Nowhere else made sense for me to be. Couldn't imagine choosing to forget this,” Kevin answered, looking at the rest of us.

Five days ago, I wanted to kill this kid. How far we had come.

That just left Apollo, who said before Teo even got to him, “These are my brothers, that’s it.”

Teo finally let his smile through. He turned around and stood before Nick, giving him a slight nod before taking his spot between Bear and Tyler.

“The Traditions of Flamekeepers guide us. As has been passed down from time immemorial, after all initiates have forged a connection strong enough to kindle their sparks enough to access them, they are ready for the plunge of trust. Should this happen before the end of their first week, then all uncompleted trials of the first week shall be treated as passed, as their purpose was unnecessary. By tradition, these initiates have overcome the perdition of isolation and made their first steps into the fellowship of flame.”

Teo gave a slight nod to Colton, who was looking at him expectantly from the end of the line of brothers.

“Brothers, in respect to tradition, I move that hell week be terminated, and we move these pledges into the Plunge of Trust.”

“Do I have a second?” Teo asked.

Ryan quickly answered, “I second. These guys deserve it.”

“A motion is on the floor involving pledges; what say you, pledge master?” Teo said, turning to Tyler.

Tyler stared at us for a second before stepping towards us and asking, “Brother Alistair, how many times has an entire pledge class been able to access their sparks before the end of hell week?”

“The Traditions spell this out clearly, so it must have happened somewhat often. However, as best I can tell from our records, it hasn’t happened since the collapse.”

“Now that is something special,” Tyler said, “those words don't mean anything to you yet. But they will. I want you all to look at each other; you and your pledge brothers are something special. Hold onto them, protect them.”

He let his words sink in, finally turning to face Teo after he felt he had made his point, “As pledge master, I endorse the motion brought by Brother Colton; these pledges are ready for the plunge.”

Teo gave a nod to Tyler as he slipped back into the line of brothers facing us. I could hear my heart in my ears as it raced. The military was full of rituals like this, a ceremonial vote on something already decided. But some fear in the recess of my brain wouldn’t let go of the thought that they would still kick us all out. It was stupid, it was irrational, but it wouldn’t shut up.

“Motion is on the floor to immediately advance these pledges to the Plunge of Trust and end hell week. Motion is endorsed by the pledge master, seconded by our brother Ryan; how does the brotherhood vote? All in favor?”

There was a thunderous moment as every brother, in unison, said, “Aye.”

“Opposed?” Teo asked.

There was a pointed silence for a few seconds.

“Alastair, please record unanimous consent to end hell week on day five and proceed to the Plunge of Trust. Brothers, prepare for the plunge in,” Teo looked at his watch and bounced his head as if he were counting and doing the math, “Let's call it 30 minutes. Pledges, change into whatever is comfortable for y’all. Do whatever you gotta do, hit the bathroom, have a beer, take the full piss bottles out of your car. Stop at your beds before the end of 30 minutes and get where you should be for the plunge.”

I followed a few brothers and pledges down to our basement common room. Alastair and Bear dropped onto the ratty couches as I followed Track into our room. The house had a strange calmness. It was almost like the calm after a debrief, knowing that your operation was successful or what went wrong so you could do better next time. It was wild to see these college guys have the same feeling. Then again, I was their age when I had my first patrol.

“You are a dick,” Track said as soon as I closed the door.

“Love you too, little bro,” I said, removing my clothes that reeked of stress and sweat.

“You were really about to walk away?” He said, looking at me with his eyes full of tears.

“No. I am exceptionally mad at Teo. But you know I would have come in right before the deadline.”

“And made us wait! Like I said, a dick.” He said, throwing his equally sweat-soaked shirt at me.

“I'm sorry, lil bro. I still don't have my head on right after today, but I'm here. Brothers for life, remember?” I said, extending my pinky to him.

“I guess,” he said, locking his pinky around mine before pulling me into a hug.

“How’s the arm?” he asked as he pulled away.

“Doesn't hurt,” I answered, looking at the new scar, “I'll get over it.”

I faked a smile as I took off the last of my clothes, tossing them into a pile in the corner. Track did the same, and we stood side by side, grabbing the same sweat shorts and tank tops out of the drawers. I dressed quickly and messed up Track's hair as he pulled the shirt over his head.

“I'm just going to keep calling you a dick,” he said as he straightened his clothes.

“Big brother's job,” I said with a wink, “wanna help me clean the car real quick?”

“Nah, I'm gonna hang with the rest of the pledges; you can clean up after me,” he said, sticking out his tongue.

“Such a brat,” I said, shaking my head.

“Little brother's job,” he said with a wink.

I shook my head as I walked out of the room and headed up the stairs. Upstairs, that same calmness as the basement tinged with the air of authority. Ryan, Tyler, and Scott were huddled around the bar, laughing and joking while Nick did a shot. It was nice to see Ryan relaxed, as he had looked nervous since breakfast.

“Where are you two going?” A very sweaty Sam asked with a towel around his neck.

“Gotta clean up his car,” Track answered before I could.

“Just be quick,” Sam said with a wink before heading down the stairs.

“I thought you were hanging out with the other guys,” I said as we walked out the door.

“I was just fucking with you. Like you did with the not following me in the door.”

“How long are you going to hold that against me?” I said as we reached my car.

“At least a week,” he said, grabbing the makeshift trash bag.

I unlocked the car and grabbed one of the Gatorade bottles out of the bag. Track looked at me questioningly when I pulled off the cap to dump it.

“Bro, that’s piss, not Gatorade remember?” Track said with a mix of disgust and intrigue.

“Oh no!” I said, bringing the bottle to my lips, making it look like I took a sip.

“You are gross,” he said, taking the cap off the other bottle and dumping it in the flower bed.

“That may be true, but you still got a boner from it,” I said, dumping my bottle in the same spot.

Track stood there, flustered, as I put my empty bottle into the trash bag. He did the same and followed me to the side yard, where I opened the gate, and we tossed the trash into the city trashcan.

“So do you wanna wait here while that goes down or?” I asked, motioning towards his bulging shorts as I held the gate.

“Nothing those guys haven’t seen before,” Track said, adjusting himself in his shorts so it looked obscene.

“Yer a mess, lil bro,” I said, tussling his hair as we made our way to the back door.

The cicadas screamed as we followed the patio lights to the back door. Bear was lying in one of the Adirondack chairs out back, wearing just enough not to get a mosquito bite on his junk while leaving little to the imagination. He looked at Track’s obscene bulge and winked, his trademark shit-eating grin getting even more prominent. I just shook my head, smiling as we returned to our room.

“Grab your envelopes, dudes; let's see where we are going!” Kevin said excitedly as the rest of the pledges started to dash in and out of their rooms.

I opened the door, and right on our pillows were two black envelopes. I grabbed mine and Track’s as he was joking with the other guys about his obscene bulge. I handed him his envelope as he tried poking Logan's face with his hard bulge.

“He will break it off you, lil bro,” I said, handing Track his envelope.

The group laughed, even Logan, at my joke. Track rolled his eyes as we circled up.

“So, who goes first?”

“Y’all are pussies,” Apollo said, cracking the wax seal on his envelope.

He stared at it for a few seconds before Kevin nudged him.

“It says to go where my mom made me feel the most like I was real family.”

The rest of us cracked our seals and read our letters. Mine said, “Go where the demons can't chase you.” All of us looked confused like we had to solve a riddle. Kevin finally gained and moved away from the circle, sitting on one of the ratty couches.

“What did yours say?” Logan asked Kevin.

“Mine just said to go the first place I felt like I belonged; that's here.”

“THE KITCHEN!” Apollo yelled, bounding up the stairs two at a time.

“Fuck” Logan said, also heading up the stairs.

One by one, the other pledges left. I stood in front of the unoccupied couch. Where the fuck do the demons not follow? If Apollo’s mom made him feel most like family in the kitchen, where would my demons not follow?

“How’s he doing,” Nick asked, sitting beside Kevin.

“I think he’s almost there,” Kevin answered as if he was trying to tell me the answer without knowing the question.

“God dammit,” I said, finally getting it.

“I'll get crayons next time I'm at the bookstore,” Kevin said as I walked down the hall.

I shot him the bird as I turned the corner out of eyeshot. I was genuinely overthinking this. I made my way through the underground labyrinth until I found my spot. The room in the house where I went because the demons didn't follow. I could hear the plates knocking as I got to the door. I was about to open it until I realized I could hear whoever was inside grunt. It was as if an electric shock locked me in place, my hand gripping the door handle but unable to twist it open.

Teo.

My plunge of trust would be with someone I didn't fully trust. I could hear my heart rate as the weights slammed down on the other side of the door. I could feel sweat dripping down my back as I let go of the door handle and stepped back.

“For fucks sake, Novo, just come in,” Teo yelled from inside.

I shook my head at myself and stepped inside. Teo stood wearing only his white briefs, tattoos rippling on his honey-brown skin. His beads of sweat looked almost like flakes of gold when the light hit it right. The veins on his biceps bulged as he finished his set of curls. The room was warm, so I stripped off my tank top and grabbed some dumbbells to join him.

“So you figured it out,” he said, grabbing a towel and wiping the sweat from his forehead.

“It's been a long day,” I said before starting my set.

“Yer telling me. You wear anything under those sweats?” He asked with this thick drawl.

“Nah, just these. Dunno what the plunge of trust was, but these are comfy, and you told me to get comfy.”

“I had a bet with Colton you would come in just a jockstrap,” he said, tossing me a towel and water bottle.

“Sorry to cost you money,” I said, taking a swig of water.

“It wasn't a monetary bet,” he winked.

There was a pregnant pause as we tried to find a way to proceed. Outside, we could hear rain starting to fall and distant thunder. Our breathing became noticeably louder as I listened to my heartbeat in my ears. I put my water bottle down and was about to start another set when Teo sat beside me on a bench.

“So, remember at the start of the week when I told you I couldn't answer some questions?” He asked me.

“Yeah,” I answered questioningly.

“Hell week is over. You guys killed it. So whatever you want to know, I'm an open book.”

His smile seemed genuine like he was trying. No matter how mad I wanted to stay, part of me wanted to let him make it right.

“What's the catch?” I asked him.

“I need you to be an open book for me. It's obvious we missed something in your background. I want to avoid anything else like today, and that means I need to know as much as I can.”

“Can I go first?” I asked him.

“Shoot”

“Why me?”

“I'm guessing you want the part of my answer I couldn't give the last time you asked it. Part of it is a new recruiting strategy I was finally allowed to do. In the last few years, the crops have been bad. Out of the rush group, maybe three would pass their assessments. I convinced the council to let us open ourselves up to more economically diverse pledges.”

He paused and took a swig of water. It was apparent he was working the courage to keep talking.

“Plus, Auntie Cass taught me how to have the sight, to see people's sparks, to see how strong their willpower and connection is. It’s wild. When I see you, I see the wildfire inside you. It isn't a small ball of light; it's a fire that burns to your fingertips. The flames dance around you. When you were on the mountain with Logan, it was as if it consumed you. I wanted you in this house because we need you.”

For some reason, this pissed me off. At least the Marines were honest about making me into a weapon.

“You need me to be a soldier,” I said flatly.

Teo’s face dropped a bit at that. The silence that followed was a sign of how far out of sync the last day had made me. Teo shook his head while looking at the weights on the ground.

“Novo, what did you want when you thought about life after the corps?” he asked without raising his head.

The question took me aback. It was the kind of question you ask in the middle of a deployment, the type of question to motivate you through the doldrums.

“I always thought about a cabin by a lake in the middle of nowhere, trees as far as the eye can see. Big deck looking out over the water. Maybe run a shop selling crafts to a few tourists in the summer—a quiet life. Becker and I used to talk about it on patrols. Napping with each other in the late afternoon sun, cool mountain breeze across us. We dreamed of peace that guys like us didn't get. Occasionally, we got a taste of it when we were together. Probably why I was on a fucking patrol that night…”

I swallowed as a rock formed in my throat. My nightmare flashed back, a dark stab through Becker’s perfect body.

“Do you love him?” Teo asked.

“Yes,” I answered quickly, tears forming, “he saved me.”

“From what?”

“Becoming him. From becoming my dad.”

Teo stood up, pacing behind me. He was moving his head as if arguing with himself, working out how to find a way forward.

“Can I ask you something, Teo?”

“Go for it.”

“Why did you ask if I could find the books my stepdad told me to save?”

“To answer that, I must tell you what your stepdad was.” He stopped and smiled as if talking about him was a memory he didn't get to share enough. I'd seen guys do it when telling old war stories. That smile only shows when someone shares the memory of their friends, making sure it never dies. It was the same smile I got when I talked about my boys.

“When he was at UT, he was the Legacies officer, in charge of maintaining records so we didn't lose everything in another collapse. He went further than just maintaining records, though; he started researching. While on one of those research trips, he met a beautiful waitress at a diner at a junction. He swore he found the secret. Even after moving out there and caring for you, he kept up his research. Between him and Auntie Cass, we might have patched most of our gaps.”

“Anton was a Flamekeeper?”

“One of the best. He rejected all the big success opportunities to live a quiet life with a woman he loved, a stepson he vowed to protect, and research what we lost in the collapse.”

“So, how did a shadow get the drop on him?”

“We don't know. We also don't know what else he knew and what the Umbrians now know. The original theory is you killed it with that flare. Burning metal is a good substitute for our light. After today, the council thinks they know everything he did and have just been biding their time for you.”

“What do you think?” I asked him, starting to get a sense of the situation.

“I still think the original theory is correct. He must have given himself a trimmer or done a plunge with someone who hadn't pierced the veil yet. He was never big on the council or its rules.”

The house shook as thunder rumbled outside. Teo paced, shaking his head with that same grin. Something didn't add up. If he knew Anton as a Flamekeeper, which that grin said he did, he was older than me. Anton was in his 30s at least 20 years ago.

“I know you have more questions, but you asked me four, and I only got one in.” He said, sitting on the bench opposite me again.

“Ok, shoot.”

“Who are Austin McKnight and Ronnie Lamb?”

The question caught me off guard. I had no idea who those people were.

“Who?”

“Exactly, who are they?”

“I have no…” I paused as I thought more, “Agent McKnight and Agent Lamb? They approached me before we went to the bookstore; why?”

“The council has been hearing chatter. Just what we need is some crew-cut assholes in windbreakers following you. Agents are going to complicate things.”

Teo rubbed his temples; He looked even more exhausted than before I answered. I felt for him. It couldn't be easy. We sat in silence as the rain started to pelt the house. Thunder occasionally rolled outside, vibrating the mirrors.

“Teo…”

“You know, I wanted to send you a letter the minute when you got out. As soon as we knew you were coming here, I wanted to send you a letter. I knew in my heart that you were one of us. You were Anton Novotny’s son. You even lied to a county clerk to ensure you would go down in history as his son. Twenty-four hours ago, I knew this was where you belonged and slept easy, proud that you were here. Now I'm not even sure I belong here.”

I knew this talk. I had it many times before, this spiral when you let one of your guys down.

“Be right back,” I said, getting up.

“Where are you going?”

“We need beers,” I said, heading down the hall.

The common room was empty when I opened the beer fridge. I grabbed four beers, two for each of us, and made my way back. Teo had hardly moved; any hint of the happiness talking about Anton was gone. A solemn nothingness replaced it, an emptiness I knew fed on any happy thought until you were an empty shell.

“Drink,” I said, handing him a beer.

“Getting drunk isn’t going to fix this.” He said, taking the beer from my hand

“No, but getting drunk with someone who’s been there helps stop overthinking and overanalyzing what you did wrong.”

“Yeah, but drinking with the victim of my fuckup doesn't seem helpful.”

“Who better than the one you hurt?”

We sat there in silence, cans of beer unopened in our hands. The storm was getting worse. Lighting raged, occasionally dimming the lights as the system struggled. After a close lighting strike shook the house, I cracked my beer.

“When I was a kid, we would watch the thunderstorms from the porch. I'd sit on Anton's lap, watching the show. He used to call it echoes of old gods fighting. He told me stories of the Greeks, Romans, Norse, and Egyptians and how their gods used to walk the earth. He used to tell me that it's funny how so many of the stories repeat or at least rhyme. Lighting never scared me till he was gone.”

Teo stared at his beer, almost refusing to look at me.

“When you first saw me outside, you said you were pissed off your little brother relied on me. If I'm honest, I wouldn't want to rely on me right now.”

I took a sip of my beer to find the courage.

“I can't tell you how many times I said that.”

Teo cracked his beer and sipped, still not looking at me. After a few minutes of silence, with only the fizzing of the cans and the storm outside, he mustered the courage to ask the question burning his brain.

“Do you hate me for giving you that trimmer?”

Fuck.

I stared at my beer, trying to collect my thoughts.

“After the checkpoint, when I was in the hospital, I swore I could still see and hear Becker and Harveson. Then I regained consciousness, and my commander told me they were dead. All those words they said, those conversations while I was out, they never happened. I swore that day that I would never let some shit like that happen to anyone I cared about.

Then I was here, in the laundromat, with a bunch of guys I care about. Only this time, they aren't at risk. They can get away. But instead, they put themselves in danger to save me. Do you know what I realized at that moment?

I don't think I deserve to be saved.”

There was another uncomfortable silence as I took a few gulps from my can. I looked up, and he was staring at my arm.

“Is that why you keep the scars.”

“What?”

“Your scars. I think that is why you keep them.”

I stared at him, confused. He finally got up and crouched beside me, grabbing my bad arm.

“You see, with the strength of your spark, your body should be able to heal itself without scaring.”

He ran his hand slowly down my arm from my shoulder. Behind his hand, my arm transformed. When he got to my wrist, you couldn’t tell what had happened to me. The white scars were gone, and all the missing muscle was back. I had two matching arms.

“But you collect scars. You need visual proof of the penance you are paying. It's not enough for you to feel it. You have to see it and make everyone else see it, too.”

He ran his hand back up to my shoulder, letting the spiderweb of bright white scars return and removing all the muscle. Once again, I was a freak—a broken veteran who failed his guys. Teo sat back on his bench while I stared into my beer.

“So, Dr Phil, you heal instantly?”

“Yes. So do you. There's a reason you didn't bleed when the Umbrian stabbed you.”

I took another swig of my drink.

“So when you were on your knees with a flaming sword at your throat, blood soaking your face…”

“That was mostly shock.” He said, interrupting me.

“I would have been shocked getting beaten by a newbie, too,” I said, taking another swig of my beer.

“Oh, get off it,” he said, throwing his empty can at me while rolling his eyes.

“You get off it!” I yelled, throwing my empty can at him.

He stabbed the can mid-air with his sword, light glistening as a few drops of beer dripped from the can’s wound. He grabbed the can as the sword faded.

“Dude, what the fuck!” I screamed

“How's that for getting beaten by a newbie?”

“You are insane.” I laughed as I cracked open my second can.

He smiled at me and cracked his second can, the silence feeling more comfortable. The storm outside was still raging. The roar of the rain hitting the house and the occasional rumble of thunder were the only sounds as we sipped our beers.

“I'm sorry, bro. I never thought something like this would happen,” he finally said after taking a large swig of his beer.

I took a swig of mine, trying to find the courage.

“I get it, man. More than anyone, I get it. I don't like what happened, but I get why you made the call you did. If you don't hold me acting like a jackass earlier against me, I won't hold you making the call against you.”

Teo laughed and said, “ok, so you don't hold my dumbass decision against me, and I won't hold your dumbass decision against you.”

We smashed our half-full cans of beer together, back on the same team. Thunder rumbled outside, telling us the storm wasn't slowing down.

“So what is this plunge of trust?”

“I got one more question for you before we do that,” he said, getting up and going to the corner of the room.

“Ok…” I leaned forward, confused.

“Have you ever heard the story of the three sisters?”

I stared at him blankly.

“I just figured Anton would have told it to you,” he said, grabbing some tiny bottles he had stashed in a bag.

“Ok, you can't lead with that, then not tell it,” I said as he sat back down.

“Sure I can,” he said with that trademark grin.

“Where is an empty beer can so I can throw it at you?”

He laughed and put the small bottles into a red cup and set it down at our feet.

“Let me know if any of this starts to sound familiar.

Long ago, in a land far away, there were three sisters. Every day, they would play until the sun set, and at night, they would wish on all the stars and planets they saw until they fell asleep on the grass. In the morning, they would wake to find their wishes had come true. They started small. A great meal here, some game there. But one night, they wished for more friends. When they woke, there were other kids like them. Those kids then wished on the stars as the sisters did, and their wishes also came true.

Over centuries, more friends would show up. They began to wish for shelter, warm nights, and cool days. They wanted for nothing. Any time they needed something, it would coalesce into existence. This coalescence took care of everyone, including those three sisters. Over time, they formed a close-knit society in what they called the Vergelands.

However, the sisters, always curious, wished to meet people who didn't live like them. It was they who first pierced the veil, coming into our world. The sisters tried to keep it a secret, but soon, others from the Vergelands were coming into our world. They didn't understand us and treated humans as playthings. It got so bad that people began to fear people from the Vergelands.

The sisters created rules for being on our side and spread them through mythology across every group they encountered. These rules were for the protection of the vergelanders as much as humans, as the sisters knew anyone staying on the wrong side for too long was fatal. Vergelanders needed the coalescence, and humans needed something the sisters couldn’t figure out.

Nothing lasts forever, though. It started so innocently, as these things do. A boy named Svek fell in love with a human girl, staying on this side. They lived a simple life, farming and loving on the edge of civilization. After years of bliss, the woman he loved died, and wracked with grief, he tried to return, only to find he couldn’t. The connection to this realm was too strong. Without the Coalescence, he began to die. Supposedly, during some war, he found a dying soldier. The young man, in great pain, called out to Svek. Unable to do much to help the soldier, he laid his forehead on the young soldier.

Cursing his condition, he could not help this dying man, just like he could do nothing to help his dying wife. Then it came forth; the young soldier's spark offered itself to Svek. Not knowing what to do, he opened his mouth wide, letting the spark jump from the dying soldier. After swallowing the spark, Svek found he could return to the Vergelands.

The sisters were appalled at how Svek was able to come back. Unfortunately for the sisters, Svek wasn't the only one who had become attached to the human realm. Several would leave, following Svek to live with the humans the vergelanders became attached to, eventually finding Svek after their loved ones had died. Every year, new converts would leave the vergelands, adding numbers to Svek’s band. For their part, the sisters had found a way to stop these new upstarts. Unfortunately, it needed humans to do the work.

So, the sisters began to share their knowledge with a select group. There was a golden age as the sisters and vergelanders helped humans fight Svek’s band of increasingly powerful energy thieves. Both side's tactics grew as each side learned more and more about what they could do.

It wasn't until the 1600s that the first signs of the collapse started to appear. More iron, and later steel, was found everywhere. When handheld guns began to be cheap enough to be abandoned on battlefields, whole swaths of land became cut off from any connections. It got worse as railroads and power lines crisscrossed the country. Svek’s band of shadows kept most of their learning on our side, and to protect it, we held our information in the vergelands. The collapse accelerated with industrialization until there were only a few places we could still cross over.

Right before the last time she was able to cross over, one of the sisters said she found the secret. A key that would stop the collapse and end Svek’s band once and for all.”

Teo seemed proud of himself as he finished his story. It seemed vaguely familiar, like something I had heard time and time again but also never before. I could clearly remember being told this story, but the bedroom was wrong, and the voice wasn't anyone I had ever heard. At the same time, I remember parts of this from a bedtime story Anton told me, but it was different, too.

“You ok, Novo?”

“Yeah, just confused.”

“Bout what?”

“Why would you tell me this story while we are drinking?” I joked, trying to hide how shaken I was.

Teo laughed, shaking his head and drinking the rest of his beer.

“Well, two reasons. One, I wanted to see if it could shake anything loose that Anton might have told you. The second reason is,” he paused, trying to figure out his words.

“Ok, the second reason is I'm stalling. The plunge of trust involves us letting each other into our heads. Normally, it's not a big deal. Especially with someone who’s just started to access their spark, but with you…”

“You’re scared of me.”

“I'm scared of the possible ramifications.” He corrected me.

“What is the worst that could happen?”

“Our flames merge instead of just touching.” He said, almost refusing to look at me.

“What does that mean?”

“It means, in essence, I would become part of you,” he said, staring into the red cup.

“Ok, so how do we avoid that?”

“Well, we need to trust each other completely, and you must do precisely what I say.”

“You got the second one for sure,” I said, now nervous to meet his eyes.

“I know. I keep thinking you are Anton’s son; obviously, you would trust me like he did. But that's just stupid to believe.”

Wait, what? How did that math line up? Teo looked at our second empty beer cans as I thought about all this.

“Ok, we need more beers.”

He got up quickly before I could ask him anything. I was left alone as the storm outside seemed to be letting up. Unfortunately, the storm in my head was picking up steam. When Teo got back, I was practically bursting to ask him.

“Teo, how did you know Anton?”

“I was his big too.”

“What does that mean?”

“What do you think it means?” He turned the question around on me, handing me another beer.

I cracked the can open, “well, you aren't 22.”

“I figured that was obvious,” he laughed.

“So, how old are you?” I asked him as he cracked open his beer.

“See, this is why I like the plunge of trust; I don't have to say it, and you get to experience it in my head.”

“How old?”

“I was born in 1933,” he said before taking a large swig of his beer, “but just to be clear, I look damn good for almost a century.”

“Ok, Grandpa, I thought I was the old man.” I joked, trying to lighten the mood.

The rain outside slowed as the storm inside the room raged. The nerd in me had so many questions but didn't want to push. Teo looked so hurt, almost sick.

“You ok, Teo?” I finally asked.

“Saying those words fucking sucked,” he said, taking a big swig of his beer.

Instantly, I knew he had never had to say it. The plunge did his work for him. This was the first time he had ever actually verbalized it. He compartmentalized it away, keeping himself focused on his immediate tasks and never grappling with everything.

“What was Anton like in school?”

His face lit up, either for the change of topic or to talk about him.

“He was a smart ass like you. It's wild how similar you both are. Hard-headed and ready to charge in but also with the softest souls. He lived to protect people. It was just who he was. When he talked about you, there was never a step in there; you were just his son. He was so fucking proud of you.”

My eyes started to fill with tears as Teo talked.

“There was one time we talked, and you had just done something, and he had to pick you up from the principal's office. He said he was pissed you did it, but he was proud you didn't hide from it, you admitted you screwed up, and you were willing to take your punishment.”

I punched someone who was trying to steal milk from; oh god, what was her name?

“Jessica McCurdy. I punched the guy stealing Jessica McCurdy’s milk. I got suspended. I don't think I ever went back to that school, though.”

“He would be so proud to see you now. You fucking took his last name; you lied that you were his son. History knows Antonin Novotny was the father of Issac Novotny, the hero of Ash Baytar. Not bad for a guy who gave up everything for the cute girl at a diner.”

“I only lied about the legality. Anton was the best dad; I am proud to have his name,” I said before taking a swig of beer and wiping the tears from my eyes.

“You took it fully. You don't even like your first name. The only thing you like to be called is something he gave you.”

“Fuck” I said before drinking the rest of the beer and letting loose an intense belch, “Anton trusted you; y’all were brothers or something, so I guess I gotta trust my uncle Teo.”

“You are a mess.” He said, shaking his head, “But more evidence yer Anton’s son.”

He killed the rest of his beer and let loose a belch. He grabbed a 50 lb dumbbell and put it on its end, then put the red solo cup on top. He pulled out the two bottles, handing me one.

“You ready to do exactly as I say. These have to be mixed exactly right, or we can kill each other.”

“Ok, so, like, do we pour at the same time?

“Not quite. Uncork your bottle.”

I pulled the cork out of my bottle of black liquid, and he uncorked his clear liquid.

“It just takes one small act,” he said, dripping one drop of his liquid into mine, “and the world changes.”

Instantly, my black liquid turned a brilliant purple with tinges of gold. The mixture was still cloudy, almost like paint.

“You repeat it, and it spreads further,” Teo said, staring at me.

Repeat it? I moved my now purple solution and dripped a single drop of my purple into his clear. His immediately turned a bright blue, also still cloudy.

“And that change comes right back to you,” he said, dripping the blue into my purple, instantly changing it to deep orange.

“That is how we grow,” he said, motioning me to repeat it.

A single drop of my orange turned his a brilliant red.

“Because everything is connected,” he said as his drop turned mine a deep green.

“As our connections grow,” his bottle turned a bright yellow.

I started to feel that same confused feeling like I had heard this before.

“We help them grow as they help us grow,” my bottle turned brilliantly deep translucent blue.

“We help them strengthen as they help us strengthen,” his bottle turned a deep, translucent purple.

“We protect them as they protect us,” my bottle started to glow a bright red.

I definitely heard this before. I even remember the colors.

“Our strength is in our connection,” his bottle started to glow a brilliant orange.

“Because without connection, we are lost,” my bottle started to glow the same white as the light.

“After tonight, we are never lost again,” his bottle started to glow with the white.

“Tonight, our connection is forged,” Teo grabbed my hand, “tonight, we share our light in the Plunge of Trust.”

Teo put his bottle to his lips and nodded, ensuring I copied him.

“On 3,” Teo instructed.

This felt so familiar.

“One”

I remember doing this.

“Two”

It was right before something big.

“Three”

I gripped Teo’s hand as I downed the bottle. Instantly, it felt like I was falling again, just like this morning.

The room was bathed in yellow light. The magnolia-scented breeze came through my open window as the sun started to set. A sunbeam came across my body, stripped of my school clothes but lying on top of the covers. My eyes followed the sunbeam across the room to my backpack, haphazardly dropped next to the door. I continued to follow it up the wood paneling to my calendar. 2004.

I swung my legs off the bed, letting my toes touch the worn carpet. God, I missed this place. I stood up and took stock of the room, my childhood bedroom. There was no way. I crossed the room to look out the windows, and there, standing proud were those magnolias I loved so much. If you strained a bit, you could barely make out the diner where Mom was.

I turned and opened the door, making my way through the house. It was eerily quiet, even the squeaky floorboards letting me pass without issue. I descended the narrow staircase as the sunlight snuck in through the bathroom window, bathing everything in gold.

I walked away from the den, not wanting to see what I'm sure was there. Instead, I went to the kitchen, watching sunbeams playing with Mom’s window herbs. The kitchen table was covered in newspaper as Anton had something partially assembled. I'm sure Mom would tell him to get it squared away by supper if it ever came.

I could hear laughing. Real joyful laughing coming from the living room. I steeled my nerves and looked back at the kitchen where so much joy in my life took place. The gold turned orange as the sun set, making the house look like fire. It shook me as I traced those steps; the wood floor was suddenly no longer silent as I stepped on the squeaky planks.

I mentally prepared myself for the worst as I turned the corner. Instead, tears filled my eyes as I heard the words I had been missing all those years.

“Hey champ, how was yer nap.”