Studs, Spurs, and Stephanotis - 2. Chapter 2

Noah

Well shit, shit and shit again. Guilt and horniness weren’t a combination that would win any lottery unless it was unlucky. By the time had Noah reached the Sheriff’s station at 11am, and parked in his officially designated space out front, a headache the size of Alaska had moved into his brain and was squatting at his temples with both middle fingers flipped up to call him a punk.

Finding a replacement fuck buddy after he and Luke had broken up was supposed to be simple; just locate someone with a pulse who was willing to insert Tab A into Slot B and repeat, possibly interchangeably switching out who was playing point at each tab. Noah had found plenty of willing B’s, but his A had suddenly decided it was a C. As in fucking choosey.

A limp dick killed a mood really quick, and there was only so much a man’s pride could take before he had to privately and very very reluctantly concede to the fact that seeing his former lover in the face of every man who was willing to get down on his knees for him in a club restroom, might be an issue. For the fifth night in a row, Noah had spent most of the evening tossing and turning in his bed, plagued by horny frustration.

Alone.

Very fucking alone despite his phonebook being full of the names of men he’d hooked up with in the past before he’d started sleeping with Luke. Men who would’ve all been happy for a repeat performance with Noah, yet he hadn’t even considered it. Instead, Noah had spent his post-Luke time dividing his frustration into 2 factions; 1) Irritation at Lucas Sylvane for changing the rules of their casual agreement on him, and 2) Trying to come to terms with his deeper annoyance at himself for letting the fact Luke had rightfully kicked him to the curb, irk him as much as it did.

Noah had never had a problem being casual before with any man. Hell, he preferred it that way, always making it a non-negotiable requirement with anyone he got involved with, even if it was just a one-night stand. Noah wasn’t ready to fly his rainbow flag out in public. He didn’t judge others who did, but Noah considered it a very personal choice, and he wasn’t there yet. When you lived in a small town, secrets once released to the wind, had a tendency to catch and spread as quickly as a forest fire. Noah didn’t want to deal with arched eyebrows and whispers from his neighbors about how they’d never have guessed Noah played for his own team. He definitely wasn’t ready to watch his conservative parents try and process that since Noah was an only child, they’d probably never become grandparents the traditional way. Even if Noah ever did get married, it wouldn’t be to a pretty little thing his mother could happily show off at Bingo and her bible study group. For those reasons on top of more than a few others, including the possible reactions from friends who after their initial shock at finding out that Noah wasn’t even bisexual—just very good at keeping up appearances—would probably be hurt that Noah hadn’t told even them, Noah had been content to fly his sexual preferences under the radar.

Until he’d started sleeping with fucking Lucas Sylvane.

Noah closed his eyes for a moment, pressing his tongue against the back of his teeth to muffle his grunt of frustration as he replayed the recent events of the morning through his head like it was on a Groundhog Day loop.

Noah hadn’t been expecting to see Luke at the coffeehouse. After so many months of sneaking around—which had occasionally included coffee stealthily poured into disposable cups to mask why Noah was there early in the morning if Jessie stopped by unexpectedly after he’d spent the night—Noah knew that Luke liked his coffee either black, or barely lightened with the smallest possible amount of heavy cream. He never touched anything with caramel or mocha like the specialty coffees served in the new, trendy coffeehouse, so it should’ve been a safe choice for Noah to grab a quick cup at before work to be properly caffeinated, while avoiding Luke at the same time. However, when Noah had walked in and immediately been flagged down by Jessie, that plan had blown up in his face. Luke’s daughter could talk the ears off of a dead man, so Noah had gotten an entire breakdown of her wedding plans before Luke had shown up and Noah hadn’t been able to come up with a good enough reason to exit the situation when Jessie had asked him to stay behind for a few minutes.

Noah had regretted his mental blank the moment he and Luke had made eye contact across the room, even before Luke had made a beeline for them with his usual casually confident, loose legged stride. Wearing his trademark, battered blue jeans that molded themselves across the tight curve of his ass and a plain gray-t shirt beneath his blue and gray plaid button down, Luke had looked better than any man had a right to after they’d kicked you to the curb so hard you still felt the bruises over a week later.

Luke hadn’t been wearing his usual well-worn tan cowboy hat and his hair was in need of a cut, so it’d been slightly tousled like he’d just run his hand through it in an effort to tame his morning bedhead, which was probably the case. In all the time Noah had known Luke, he’d never spent much time on his appearance. That just added to both Luke’s appeal and Noah’s infatuation because the older man was just that hot. Unfortunately, it also all added up to a package of appeal that ended on a road to nowhere because Noah wasn’t out, and Luke had finally gotten tired of pretending that he wasn’t.

Noah didn’t like it, but he also couldn’t blame Luke.

Even with his eyes shut, Noah could easily recall Luke’s face looking back at him that last night they’d spent together at Noah’s place, a mixture of hurt and anger darkening his gray eyes. Everything had been going so well until that moment when everything had fallen apart; they’d enjoyed a nice dinner of loaded baked potatoes and thick cut rib-eye steaks that Luke had grilled, then sat through most of an action movie that hadn’t been nearly as exciting as their hot, sweaty and very naked fun among freshly laundered sheets afterward.

Even though Luke was self-conscious about their age difference, Noah didn’t see a single thing wrong with the other man. Luke could fuck with all the energy of a demonic teenager when he wanted to. And although he wasn’t a gym guy, Luke had owned and worked his own horse ranch for years after leaving the Detroit police department so he was all hard strength from long hours of strenuous physical labor. Broad shoulders, and long muscled arms that could pin Noah and his gym-honed body to the bed in two seconds flat, were traits Noah admired.

So did his dick.

But it was the gentleness that Noah felt in those same strong arms when Luke held him up against the broad expanse of his chest, that had gotten under his skin and ignored every commonsense argument his brain had tried to make against him falling for Lucas Sylvane, because Noah couldn’t love Luke openly, the way he knew that Luke deserved.

Noah exhaled slowly. He could still taste the salt on Luke’s skin when he’d kissed the man’s sweat dampened shoulder after round two. Luke had made a happy sound of satisfaction and remained lying on his stomach among the sheets, but he’d reached a work calloused hand back behind him. When Noah had taken it, Luke had dragged him down until Noah’s flat midsection had pressed tight against the hard lines of Luke’s back. Luke had tugged Noah’s arm around and beneath his body, keeping hold of Noah’s hand until they’d settled into a comfortable position. Then Luke had laced their fingers together and brought them up to his lips to kiss Noah’s knuckles. He’d sighed in obvious content before he’d tucked their joined hands down against his abs and held them there. He’d fallen asleep like that.

Even now, Noah could still remember the way Luke’s body had relaxed beneath his with complete trust in the idea that he was safe. A feeling of safety that had nothing to do with the fact that Noah was a cop, and everything to do with how well they connected. If Noah could just meet Luke where his lover had wanted them to be, their bond would’ve made them as strong a unit outside of the bedroom as they were inside it. Noah just hadn’t been there yet even though nights like that made him wish he didn’t give a rat’s ass what anyone thought about who he chose to fuck.

Had Luke put more pressure on him from the beginning, it probably would’ve been easier for Noah to walk away. He was used to being with men who were happy to use him just as much as he used them, but Luke didn’t have a manipulative or malicious bone in his body. He could be hot and intense when Noah broke through his quiet reserve, but his heart was huge and generous and he’d always been considerate and loving when they’d been together.

Loving.

Noah pinched the bridge of his nose hard.

Luke had been so hesitant to touch him that first night they’d spent together. Cautious because just like the rest of their town, he hadn’t suspected that Noah was gay because Noah had perfected the art of small-town subterfuge. Noah had been the aggressor, assuring Luke that he was all in for a night of horny hijinks. Once Luke had let down his guard, it’d been explosive between them that night at the club. That incendiary heat between them had stayed ramped up for the first few weeks, heightened by the illicit thrill of keeping things a secret. But after that second month, they’d started discreetly spending entire nights at one another’s places. Most of those nights they’d actually shared a meal, and sometimes a few beers before they’d torn one another’s clothes off. They’d settled into a comfortable sense of friendly domesticity and though they’d agreed to keep things light and casual, it’d quickly become more than that and they’d both known it- late nights binge watching TV and talking about their plans for the day over morning coffee had become a new normal for both of them.

Friendship.

Affection.

Love.

A love that Luke had confessed once when he was half asleep and comfortable in Noah’s arms, head lolled lazily against Noah’s shoulder. Noah hadn’t said it back that night or after, but Luke had never pushed. He’d been content with what they’d had, patient to wait Noah out at whatever pace he wanted to go at until they got to a point when Noah would be alright with making their relationship public.

Until that night. That night when Noah’s damn phone had rung and blown everything to hell.

It would‘ve been easy to blame the entire clusterfuck on Archie, Noah’s friend whose car had broken down in the middle of the night and called Noah for help. Archie was a childhood friend, but he’d always had a big mouth, which was the main reason Noah hadn’t told him that he was gay. When Noah finally decided to come out, he had a list with the names of people in his life, in the order he’d tell them. Archie was down at the bottom. But when he’d called Noah that night, insisting on getting Noah’s help instead of trying to call a tow service at that late hour, Noah had panicked. Instead of taking a breath, using the same calm he did at work to keep his town safe and sane, and telling Archie that he’d get there as soon as he could after leaving a sleeping Luke a note, Noah had agreed to come and get him. Then Noah had woken Luke up and told him he had to go. He’d tried to be gentle, but it didn’t matter how considerate he was. When Luke’s eyes had opened with lazy confusion, Noah should’ve explained the situation, and asked Luke to put the coffee on and wait up for him in front of the fire. He hadn’t. Instead, Noah had told Luke that he had to leave in the event Archie wanted to come back to his place because it was closer than his own apartment according to the mile marker Archie had told him he was near.

Noah exhaled hard. Now that he looked back, there’d been no excuse good enough on this planet or any other, to justify the lack of judgment he’d shown by making Luke call an uber to get home, instead of dropping him off himself before Noah had gone to get Archie. They’d argued and when Noah had finally shut down the conversation by saying he had to leave after Luke had asked Noah what he wanted then issued his ultimatum in frustration, Luke hadn’t said another word.

He’d been gone when Noah had returned home after dropping Archie off. The cash Noah had left on the nightstand for the uber fare was still there though.

That disaster had happened over a week ago. Between Luke taking all of his personal belongings from Noah’s place before leaving his copy of the housekey on the kitchen table, and Noah getting Luke’s voicemail every time he’d gotten the balls to call him the next day, and the one after that, Luke’s message had been pretty damn clear.

Noah could go fuck himself.

The sentiment was more than well-deserved because even now, Noah couldn’t swallow his pride and march his sorry ass over to Luke’s place and beg for the forgiveness he knew he didn’t deserve.

One hand tipped his battered brown Stetson low over Noah’s eyes as he opened them. The bold blue sky dotted with fluffy white clouds, and the high, rolling curves of a picturesque mountainous landscape in the background, were straight off a postcard. With the temperature already well into the high seventies, it was a beautiful day. The lilting chirp of the birds in some nearby trees invited Noah to blow off work and sit down on his tailgate by the lake with a cold Coke to have himself a Calgon moment like the commercials preached.

He was having himself a moment all right.

The small cab of Noah’s truck didn’t have much in stock in the way of candles or bubble bath but one questing hand hit the mother-load under his battered passenger seat. The tangy bite of the alcohol from the small silver flask washed away the staleness of morning-coffee mouth. Noah swished it around for three full Mississippi’s before spitting the whiskey out onto the dusty paving stones after he got out of his truck. It pained him not to swallow because he didn’t drink cheap whiskey but the last thing Noah needed to do today, was walk into the Sherriff’s station with the scent of quality booze oozing from his pores beneath his polyester uniform as the temperatures rose. Noah rarely drank unless he was having a beer with Luke or Archie, but today was a special case.

Noah popped two sticks of peppermint gum into his mouth as he pushed through the doors of the Sheriff’s station, making his way inside. He paused long enough to get a Styrofoam cup of coffee from the vending machine they’d installed two years ago. The weak brew was a poor substitute for the stronger roast Luke had gotten him hooked on during the past year but between talking to Jessie, then Luke, Noah hadn’t had time to actually drink the coffee he’d purchased at the café. It’d been cold by the time he’d left and he preferred his coffee piping hot. If he could’ve had Lucas Sylvane to go, Noah would’ve have purchased two cups of coffee, then called off work and dragged Luke off with him for a slow savoring somewhere.

Almost immediately, Noah’s traitorous mind mocked his efforts of keeping his mind off of Luke, with an image from his most popular foray into the realm of XXX fantasies.

Noah could hear the shower running when he entered Luke’s house and went up the stairs towards Luke’s bedroom where the master bathroom was. When Noah walked in, the bathroom was hot, so heavily steamed up by the running water that the glass shower stall was just as fogged up as the mirror was. Noah didn’t care about the status of the mirror. What he was focused on, was the fact that Luke was in said shower. Even through the thick hazy mist, Noah could see the handsome older man who made his cock hard and his head stupid. Water was streaming down Luke’s hard, rangy body that was all dark farmer’s tan, and lean muscle, with the scars typical of a man who worked with his hands and animals daily. His face was a blend of sharp angles softened by the warmth of the smile always went straight to Noah’s dick when it was wide and genuine, like the one he was currently gracing Noah with after looking up after being alerted to Noah’s presence by the man’s footsteps. For a moment, they just stared at one another. Even though Luke was in his birthday suit and Noah was still wearing his uniform, Noah was the one who felt naked as Luke’s gaze slowly trailed over him.

Noah’s breath caught at the immediate heat that he saw in those blue eyes that was lighting them up with an incandescent fire. There was nothing manufactured about Lucas Sylvane except for the deliberately lazy look that slid into his eyes when he glanced up to see Noah’s gaze fixated on his groin.

Luke obliged the silent request without hesitation, able to read Noah’s desires as easily as Noah could read his after the last few months. Luke’s arousal was as easily lit as a match when he knew that he had Noah’s full attention.

Long, heavily tanned fingers stroked down his happy trail before they curled around Luke’s cock in the way that always made Noah’s mouth water when it was hard and almost purply red at the tip. Luke’s cock was as thick as it was long, the flared head almost elegant as far as dicks went. Noah had seen more than his share during his no-name exchanges with his one-night stands before he and Luke had started sleeping together exclusively, even though no one but them knew about their relationship.

Luke moved to the edge of the shower stall, gesturing Noah closer after he opened the door. Noah shed his clothes quickly, leaving them haphazardly on the floor, completely forgotten as he got on his knees. Luke’s groin was almost level with his face after the older man leaned over to pull the door closed behind Noah. Though shower sex wasn’t usually Noah's thing since his knees had never been the same after years of high-school and college football, there was suddenly nothing that Noah wanted more than to suck that smirk off Luke’s face right through his cock…

Unwanted but so fucking hot he nearly creamed himself, the image of blowing off work and tracking Luke down so he could do exactly that, popped into Noah’s head. The visual almost sent him careening into a wall as Noah turned the corner, then headed towards his office.

Shaking his head did nothing to dispel the now firmly planted idea even though Noah knew exactly how it would play out if he could manage to convince Luke to give into stupidity. From months of carnal and up-close personal experience. Noah knew exactly what Luke would sound when Noah backed him up hard against the wall before dropping to his knees, moaning in between those low, breathy sounds that let Noah know exactly what he was doing right.

Noah inhaled sharply, breaking off his reverie. Considering the way they’d last left off, Luke was more likely to greet him with his shotgun than with a smile. Noah couldn’t blame him. Especially after this morning when Jessie had asked about Noah’s plus one and he hadn’t just pointed at her father. Maybe as a peace offering he’d bring Luke some blank bullets. They’d be more appreciated than flowers.

For fuck’s sake.

"What the hell am I doing?" Noah muttered under his breath. He shook his head again, then grimaced when he took a perfunctory sip of his coffee. It was barely lukewarm so trying to choke it down just for the sake of the caffeine wasn’t going to happen. After a huffed sigh, Noah gave up the good fight and made a beeline to the trashcan by his secretary’s desk.

The wet thunking sound didn’t slow down the long slim fingers flying over Grace-Ann’s keyboard, her glossy, bright pink nails evidence of a fresh manicure. Noah was sure her toenails were painted the same color. Grace-Ann had a thing about matching, as illustrated by her pink sundress that was only a few shades lighter than her nails. Her rapid fire typing drew attention to the huge diamond on her left hand that she’d been sporting since the past spring, though she and her long-time boyfriend, Parker, still hadn’t set a date for the wedding. Noah couldn’t blame them. Having had a front row seat to Jesse and Bo’s wedding planning since he was friends with both of them, he knew the hassle all the fuss trying to make one day “memorable” could be.

Grace-Ann popped her gum in her mouth before she speared Noah with a speculative look as he stormed like a dark cloud through the open doorway that adjoined their offices to put his hat on his desk, and toss his cell phone into the top drawer. Out of sight meant out of mind and lessened Noah’s temptation to call Luke by a miniscule degree.

An unnaturally red eyebrow disappeared beneath Grace-Ann’s poofed up, Texas beauty-queen style bangs when Noah returned to her desk to thumb through the messages left for him in the little plastic tray.

“You all right there, Chief? Seem a little antsy.”

“I’m fine, Grace-Ann. It’s just been that kind of morning and I haven’t had any coffee yet.”

“There’s fresh coffee in the pot I brought in last week,” she said gesturing to the filing cabinet in the corner that the little coffee maker was resting on. Noah had completely forgotten it in his irritated funk. Grace-Ann had insisted they needed their own private line to caffeine since between the two of them, they could go through an entire pot in the morning and she hated the ‘sludge that the other boys with brass thought was good enough.’

“Thanks, Grace-Ann.”

“You’re welcome. I needed to butter you up for some of these calls that came in this morning.”

Noah sighed. Just what he needed, though to be fair, having to deal with the silly asinine problems in their town would distract him from the Luke situation. “Hit me.”

A smile tugged at the corners of Grace-Ann’s lush mouth. “We got a call from Ms. Marley about the racoons getting into her garbage again and spilling it all over the street. She wants trash day moved to a daily basis and huffed when I told her that was something she had to take up with the mayor’s office.”

Noah snorted. “Yeah, well she was my babysitter from diapers to age six, so she tends to think I owe her for years of mac n’ cheese and cheerios. I’ll handle it. Anything else?”

“Mr. Adam’s wants someone to look into his broken mailbox, though we all know it was his drunk of a nephew Mark and his friends who nailed it with Mark’s old Trans Am. That car’s always parked loud and proud in front of the bar at all hours of the day, yet it’s been MIA for the past three.”

Noah pinched the bridge of his nose. “Send Harry out to check on it. The car is probably parked out in that old shed where they like to hang out for tailgates. Have Harry get permission to photo it, or just threaten to call Mr. Adams right there on the spot. Either way, it’ll get handled.”

“Will do, Chief. Oh, and Jessie Sylvane called. She said to tell you that if you need ideas for a plus one, she has a few who aren’t, and I’m quoting here, ‘slutty cousins.’ ”

Noah sighed. Grace-Ann’s deep dimples winked at him as she laughed.

“Oh, come on. Don’t tell me you can’t get at least one of those pretty girls you’ve tote around town over the years to agree to be your date. They can’t all be settled down with respectable husbands and babies yet. Bets have been taken in the office about which one might finally settle you down. I was betting on that pretty blonde with the crooked front teeth who you brought to last year’s Christmas party. She was really sweet and a year of Invisalign would’ve turned her into a beauty queen.”

Noah snorted as he thumbed through the little pieces of pink message paper covered in Grace-Ann’s loopy handwriting. “Callie and I only dated for a month.”

“That’s a month longer than anyone else you’ve dated,” Grace-Ann shot back, one hand freeing up from her typing long enough to answer and direct a call. “I’ve worked for you for five years, Chief,” she said when Noah had her full attention again. “You’re a serial dater.”

Noah eyed her in silence for a moment because the subtle emphasis she’d put on ‘serial dater’ translated transparently to ‘man ho.’ A slow growl of sound escaped his throat in a moody rumble. He’d known about the pool, but he hadn’t put a stop to it because in a town as small as theirs, people lived for gossip. If his co-workers were trying to pair him off with pretty women, that meant that they didn’t suspect that he’d been canoodling with Luke in private and that was good. Luke might know what he wanted, but past wanting Luke back, Noah hadn’t sorted out the other important details, like being seen in public with a boyfriend to let the entire world know that he was bisexual, not the straight, good ol’ boy the town saw.

Noah parked a lean hip against the doorframe, then frowned at Grace-Ann anyway because he knew it was an expected reaction. “And just how would you know how often I get around? Not like I'm taking out ads in the local paper about my personal life.”

“I have eyes and ears just like everyone else in this town, and word gets around almost as much as you do, Chief. How else do you think I found out from Alice down at the bank, that Luke Sylvane’s going to bring Alex Cole as his date for the wedding?"

The first part of that mini monologue didn’t faze Noah because he’d gone out on enough public first time dates with pretty girls from other towns to deserve the wagging of busy body tongues. But his head snapped up from the paperwork he was pretending to look over at the second part. “Alex Cole?”

The name registered, but the man’s face eluded Noah’s memory for a moment. As sheriff he knew everyone in town who’d been living there as long as he had, but they’d gotten a lot of transplants over the past few years, and he was still learning who some of them were. Still, the name was familiar. After a few moments of wading through a mental registry, Alex’s face popped up clearly in Noah’s mind. His eyes immediately narrowed.

There was no fucking way that was happening.

“Alex Cole, the new florist?”

Now that Noah’s mind had brought up Alex’s face, it was holding it hostage to torture Noah with the memory of the last time he’d seen Alex Cole this past Valentine’s Day, when he’d come into the Sheriff’s station to drop off a sunflower bouquet that Parker had ordered for Grace-Ann. Alex had been wearing a bright pink sweater with a rainbow heart on it, in celebration of the holiday. His blue jeans had been so tight they’d highlighted the curve of a very perky ass that Noah might’ve admired from afar at a different time and place. At barely 5’4, if even that tall, Alex had a lithe, long-legged frame that was topped with a mop of bleached blonde hair with a trendy, silver tint beneath the fluorescent lighting. His bright blue eyes had twinkled at Noah with cheerful, albeit harmless flirtation when he’d waved goodbye as he’d left after hugging Grace-Ann, telling her Parker was a keeper.

Alex was a happy little twinkie, probably with extra cream filling-all smiles and easy conversation. Noah had absolutely no problem with any of those facts. What he took issue with, was that Alex was absolutely not Luke’s type considering how hot and heavy he and Noah had been before Noah had fucked things up between them.

“Who told you that?”

“Well, Jessie told Kelly, who told her momma, who’s friends with Alice because she does her hair,” Grace-Ann said, as if she hadn’t noticed the subtle heat in Noah’s tone that had crept in before he could reign it back.

“Jessie’s setting them up today and you know how that girl is when she gets her mind set on doing something. Anyway, I saw her and Luke heading towards Alex’s shop when I was coming back from the bank and Jessie said that they were going to finalize her floral arrangements. I can read between the lines. Especially because Luke was wearing a nice hunter green button down and he had cologne on. There’s no doubt in my mind that this is all Jessie’s doing, but Luke looked hot.”

Grace-Ann giggled when Noah shot her a look. “Chief, I’m engaged, not dead and Luke is hot, even with the gray coming in.” She picked up a bright pink pen with a fluffy ball at the top, tapping it lightly against the fingers on her opposite hand.

“I wonder if Jessie’s going to have lilies like Amy Clarke, or daisies like Patti Montgomery. The first gay wedding in town has everybody even more interested than they were about the royal wedding.” She paused, eyes going unfocused for a moment. “Though since Jesse transitioned, is it really a gay wedding? Maybe it should just be considered non-hetero? I mean, no one ever thought Bo Wilson was gay because every girl he dated before Jessie was 100% biologically female. Still, he can’t really be straight if he’s in love with her right?” Slim shoulders shrugged up as Grace-Ann paused her gossip train for now. “Doesn’t really matter though, does it? You can’t help who you love. You just love them. And Bo and Jessie are so cute together.”

Noah tried to school his expression into careful neutrality, but it was a struggle. “No way do I believe that about Alex Cole,” he said. The tight note in his voice earned Noah an arched brow from Grace-Ann and he forced himself to find a more casual tone. “I just saw Jessie and Luke earlier and that wasn’t a topic that came up. Luke doesn’t want to bring anyone to the wedding. He wants all the focus on Jessie and Bo.”

Grace-Ann shrugged. “Knowing Jessie, it’s pretty clear whose idea it is. That girl’s been trying to set up her daddy for years. Nothing's stuck so far, but Luke might go for it. Alex is a super sweet cutie pie.”

No, he’s not, Noah thought darkly, knowing it was pure jealousy talking even though he didn’t have any right to be jealous. He’d thrown Luke’s love back in his face by his actions. He didn’t deserve him. Unfortunately, as sound and logical as that self-administered advice was, Noah couldn’t swallow it.

“I’ve been friends with Luke for a while now. I know his type. Alex Cole isn’t even close. Just because two men are gay doesn’t mean they’re automatically hot for each other,” Noah added though this was veering into entirely inappropriate conversation between co-workers. Then again, in small towns, lines of propriety often got blurred.

“Still waters run deep,” Grace-Ann shot back. “Luke’s got the whole stoic, butch rancher thing going on so I can’t imagine anyone not considering him their type. And I hear you, but it’s not like there’s an abundance of good-looking, successful, and single gay men around here. Hard enough to find straight men who meet those criteria. I just got lucky with Parker.” Her lips twitched into a glossy, mischievous grin. “Course if this was a romance novel, Luke would be hooking up with a guy like you.”

Noah’s spine immediately stiffened as he pushed off the wall to drop the notes in his hand back into Grave-Ann’s plastic bin to address later, when he was properly caffeinated enough to deal with the headache he felt coming on.

Be casual, Noah.

“A guy like me?” His tone was even. Bully for him.

“Oh, don’t get your heterosexual whiteys in a wad. I just meant tall, good-looking, and packing heat. The holy trifecta of all good gay romance novels.”

What?

Noah didn’t get to ask the question because Grace-Ann was already reaching into her purse. She pulled out a book swaddled in a floral cloth book cover, then waved him over with one slim hand. Noah approached warily, taking the novel when she held it out pen to a specific page. He skimmed the first few paragraphs, then blinked. Noah tried to swallow, but his mouth was suddenly desert dry, tongue desperately clinging to the roof of his mouth. A secondary glance didn’t change the words printed black and white, and clear as day across the page.

“You’re reading a gay romance novel?”

“Yep. And it’s a good one,” Grace-Ann said, flashing Noah a wicked grin that added an impish appeal to her pixie features.

“I got it from Jessie. She belongs to an LGBT book club, and they send her two new books every month. She’s not into cowboys or cops considering what her dad used to do and now does for a living, so she gave it to me. It’s about a sexy U.S. Marshall who has to protect a cowboy in Texas who watched his boss get wacked by the local big-time baddie, until he can testify.”

Grace-Ann shrugged when Noah gave her a look that clearly asked if she was serious, even as his blood pressure began to spike.

“Believe it or not, gay male erotica is supported by a predominately mid-western, female audience which makes sense if you think about it. I mean, what’s hotter than imagining two sexy men with feelings, wrapped up tighter in each other than a Chinese finger puzzle, especially when you’re a bored housewife?”

She peeled back the floral cover so Noah could see it. Two male torsos, naked from the waist up, were wrapped up in an embrace against a sunset backdrop of mountains that looked uncomfortably like their own sunsets around here. Both of the headless torsos were wearing jeans, and if the one on the left hadn’t been heavily inked up, it could’ve been him and Luke.

Noah swallowed hard.

“The sex scenes are blazing hot, but the story is really good too.”

“Yeah,” Noah said, his huffed breath sounding annoyed even to him as he flipped through another page before he caught himself. “I’m sure you’re reading them for the writing, just like teenage boys who whip through Maxim magazines for the articles.”

Grace-Ann tugged the book out of Noah’s hands, swatting at him with it before she slid it back into her oversized bag.

“I like happy endings.”

“Most people do but Jessie needs to stop matchmaking,” Noah groused as he moved over to the filing cabinet by the window.

He busied himself with pretending to sort through it as he peered out the window. Through the cheap white plastic blinds, he could see the storefront of Alex’s shop across the street. The entire front of the sidewalk was covered with pots of cheerfully bright flowers that, as much as Noah hated to admit it, gave the impression of welcoming and appealing warmth. The outside ambiance said, ‘come on in’ but Noah would be damned if Luke went in for a floral consult and came out with Alex’s number. A scowl curled across his lips when Noah’s gaze registered Luke’s battered pickup truck parked out front.

“Hah, want to put in an order for flying pigs while you’re at it?” Grace -Ann said, interrupting his thoughts. “If Jessie could’ve managed a double wedding, she’d have done it.”

“Luke hasn’t been serious about anyone in years so why would Jessie choose someone that damn obvious?” Noah muttered. “Who wears a pink leather vest at ten in the morning?”

“I think Alex is cute.”

“So are trash pandas to everyone except Mrs. Marley.”

Grace-Ann went on like she was deliberately ignoring Noah’s negativity.

“He’s really sweet and obviously can run a successful business, so the boy isn’t stupid. Luke could do a lot worse. Annnnd...” The mischief in her voice made Noah turn in time to see her grin deepen into a sea of white teeth, and deep dimples. “Alex is such a high energy person, I’ll bet he’s frightening in the sack in all the best ways. What I wouldn’t give to be a fly on the wall if he and Luke get together. Hotter than any romance novel.”

She fanned herself with one hand.

Noah knew exactly just how frightening Luke could be in the sack, especially when his control broke, and he pinned Noah up against the wall from behind, Noah’s cheek pressed into, their fingers laced together as Luke pounded his younger lover until Noah wanted to sing gospel because it felt so damn good.

Alex Cole didn’t deserve any of that.

Neither do you, dipshit.

Noah grunted softly in response to his chiding conscience as he watched Alex in his long-sleeved black t-shirt, pink leather vest, and blue jeans slung so low that even from here, Noah’s vision was sharp enough to make out some kind of small tattoo on Alex’s lower spine when he bent to pick out flowers from the lower rungs of vases on his sidewalk stand. When he straightened, it was with a subtle shimmy that made the tramp stamp dance before the hem of Alex’s t-shirt obscured it again. Out of sight, but now emblazoned across Noah’s retinas as he watched Alex bopping along to whatever was pouring out of the purple wireless headphones buried in his ears. As much as Noah hated to admit it, Alex Cole knew how to move with a grace that hinted at him being flexible in ways that made Noah’s headache worsen. His irritation only grew as a mental image of Alex doing that same sexy little bump and grind on Luke’s cock crept into his mind.

Absolutely no fucking way.

“A man who looks like a Muppet shouldn’t be able to move like that,” he muttered, frowning harder when Grace-Ann’s little stress ball bounced off the side of his head as she tossed it.

“Oh, come on,” Noah protested. “You really think that he’s a good fit for Luke? Alex wears more eyeliner than you do.”

“I enhance what I’ve been blessed with Chief, and Alex does the same thing,” Grace-Ann shot back with a sniff of indignation. “Yes, he’s a little flamboyant, but maybe Luke will like that Alex owns his truth and doesn’t hide who he is. Confidence is sexy.”

She popped open a compact to adjust her own eyeliner, oblivious to the fact that she was giving Noah a small coronary as the conversation continued.

“Luke doesn’t advertise and there’s nothing fictional about him.”

Silence stretched between them long enough for the gentle ticking of the clock on the wall to grate on Noah’s already frayed nerves. The flavor of the whiskey he’d rinsed his mouth out with earlier suddenly seemed thick across his tongue.

Grace-Ann quietly went back to her typing, obviously reading the rough note in his tone. Noah silently added being an ass to his secretary who was also a good friend, to his growing lists of morning sins, and made a mental note to pick up lunch for both of them from the diner later.

Noah sighed. A major talking point in the LGBT community was about all the difficulties that openly gay men suffered, especially the effeminate ones like Alex Cole, who wore it on their sleeves like badges of honor. It was easy to forget that gay men came in all shapes and sizes, and some didn’t fit the idea many people had in their minds about the ‘traditional gay man’ because of the limited angle that TV shows and movies generally took. Coming out would be difficult enough, but potentially having to restate his hot-dogs only policy over and over again because people Noah had known most of his life didn’t believe he was gay, would be even more trying. Noah had always been considered the quintessential, ‘All-American boy next door’ from his days as the high-school football team’s quarterback, to now, when people saw the badge on his chest and equated it with brawn and female-centered testosterone. Men like Noah, ‘weren’t supposed to be gay’ in the eyes of a lot of people and Noah wasn’t in a headspace to start schooling people out of outdated ideas when he still struggled with labels himself, including ones within the queer community- twinks, queens, bears, cubs, foxes, wolves, giraffes, meerkats, bulls, dolphins and otters… Sometimes Noah felt like he was starring in an episode of animal kingdom. The fact was that he’d never liked boxes, even in high school. The whole, nerd/jock thing had always irritated him. He just wanted to be seen for the man he was. A decent guy who liked hockey and football as much as he liked a hard dick up his ass. Luke had understood that.

And you fucked it up.

The muffin he’d eaten earlier suddenly felt like lead in Noah’s belly. He sighed again.

“I’m sorry, Grace-Ann. I didn’t sleep well last night and I’m just on edge this morning. Liz’s great-uncle is coming to town for the wedding. He’s a mayor in his town in West Virginia. Even a small-time government official coming here means we need to step up our police presence and it’s a stressful pain in the ass. But I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. I’m sorry,” he said again.

The apology was heartfelt and aside from leaving out the parts about Luke being a stressor, the rest was true. Their own mayor had been calling Noah almost daily to remind him how important it was for an out-of-state government official to feel welcome, even though Noah knew from private conversations with Jessie and Bowen, that the elderly mayor was a pompous, self-righteous jackass who had only been invited to the wedding because Liz had felt obligated to since jackass or not, he was her family.

Noah could tell Grace-Ann wasn’t buying it, but she had the grace to grant him a reprieve for now as she nodded and continued typing until she finished her paragraph, then rolled her chair around so she could face Noah from the other side of the desk. She clasped her hands together, holding them beneath her chin, bony elbows resting on the desk.

“Can I ask you something personal, Chief?”

Noah was tempted to say no, but considering that he’d been such an ass earlier, he couldn’t justify it.

“Sure.”

Grace-Ann swept Noah with a long look that was assessing, but not the come-hither one he usually got from women. In that moment, Noah was reminded that despite the beauty queen hair, and 80’s Dolly Parton makeup, Grace-Ann had never been anyone’s fool, even when they’d been in high-school together.

“Aside from the occasional small-minded moron, good people live here, and most don’t judge. Every town has its fools, but this is one of the better ones. In my humble opinion of course.” She smiled. “Like I said, everyone, including ninety percent of the men in this town, are curious what the wedding’s going to be like. Your invitation is like Willy Wonka’s golden ticket and you have your pick of plus ones.”

Noah grunted a noncommittal sound. What people made public was often 180 degrees out from what they thought in private. “I didn’t hear a question in there.”

“I’m getting to it,” Grace-Ann said, her expression nonplussed.

“My question is, why are you so against Luke going to the wedding with Alex?” She held up a slim hand before Noah could even come up with a protest. “It’s one of those rhetorical questions, boss. I’m a natural blonde under all this Clairol Cherry Pop Tart, but I’m not stupid. I’m also not here to play judge or jury in anyone’s personal life. We’ve known one another since we were in diapers and though I hope you know that you could always be open with me about anything, I’m not asking you to be. I just want you to sit in that question for a while and see if the answer eventually finds you.”

Noah exhaled slowly, then nodded slightly. He wasn’t sure what to say because he suddenly felt like he was under blacklights where all the hidden pieces of him were on display for the world to see and be horrified by, even though Grace-Ann’s expression was Madonna calm.

“I know I enjoy gossip as much as the next nosy bitty in this town, but your personal business is your own, Noah,” she said. It was rare when Grace-Ann used his name while they were working, but Noah could hear the genuine concern in it. “And honestly, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks so long as they publicly mind their manners and you’re happy. Considering your badge and gun, the first part of that equation is pretty much guaranteed. You also know a lot of people who sport the same accessories. They all have your back. So do I.” She paused for a moment, then met Noah’s eyes steadily. “I guess what I’m saying, Chief, is just think about letting yourself be happy, whatever that looks like for you, ok?”

Grace-Ann offered a gentler smile than her usual cheerful, toothy wattage. “Anyway, Mr. Simmons called earlier and wants you to go on over when you have a spare minute. He thinks someone is stealing from the grocery storage room again.”

Noah took the message as Grace-Ann turned her back to him to go back to her typing, whatever moment they’d been having obviously over for now. He stuffed the piece of note paper into the back pocket of his uniform pants, and unintentionally glanced towards the window again. There was no sign of Alex. He’d likely gone in for his appointment with Jessie and Luke.

Luke.

Fuck.

Noah reluctantly lingered over the sudden recollected memory of the lazy warmth in Luke’s smile first thing in the morning when he’d stayed over at Noah’s apartment, or Noah had stayed over at Luke’s place. Whenever Luke opened his eyes, his small, content smiled had been highlighted in the warm rays of the early morning sunlight.

Alex would probably find that smile better than coffee for a wakeup call.

Damnit.

Noah exhaled slowly as the image of the pretty blonde man popped back into his mind like a cheerful wack-a-mole.

Was Alex already tingling with anticipation in those painted on blue jeans with the possibility of getting those strong, calloused hands of Luke’s all over his tight little body as he enjoyed that slow, thorough pace of loving that drove Noah out of his mind every time they got together, and Luke wrangled Noah beneath him?

Hard ranch life had honed Lucas Sylvane’s body into a well-tuned machine. Noah could testify to that firsthand from all the times he was sure he’d die from the pleasure of Luke’s thick, hard cock sending him into a fucked-out haze where Noah didn’t have to think about labels or what anyone outside of their bedroom thought about him,

Heaven was always the aftermath Noah had found himself in when Luke’s warm, oddly comforting weight was pressed up against Noah’s back, his arm around Noah’s firm midsection, and his foot hooked lazily around Noah’s ankle to rub his calf as they fell asleep.

Grace-Ann shot Noah a questioning look as the blinds rattled gently against the pane from Noah’s fidgeting hand.

“Enough with this high-school drama bullshit,” Noah finally snarled under his breath.

Grabbing his hat from his office first, Noah crossed the room to head out across the street to do his civic duty. Luke’s truck was in a no-parking zone.