Jjeffalch

Miles does know that Troy has moved on. He said so at the end if the sunsets vlog. I don't see that as a hindrance to a simple message saying " I know what I did to you. I am sorry. And I am glad that you have found happiness." That's all it need be, I think it would be a good and honest gesture. But if he can't, he cant. Then he should just continue the way he has since The Abandonment and stay away. Totally.

Even if Owen did know about Miles, Troy should explain the surprisingly strong reaction he had to seeing the vlogs and the feelings that persist. Hiding those from Owen would start their marriage off on a very shaky foundation—if, that is, the marriage goes ahead at all, which I FERVENTLY hope it does. Sorry, eloquent apologetic messages attached to beautiful sunset vlogs notwithstanding, I cannot get over the fact that Miles has never once tried to contact Troy. Back in the US and not having to battle different time zones, every passing week of continued silence is a choice that he makes not to acknowledge directly to Troy that he knows and regrets what he did. That might allow them both to come to closure (and no, I do not expect that such logical thought processes influence the way he is thinking about this aspect of his life). But his soliloquy at the end of the subset video demonstrates clearly that he knows the damage that he caused. The very same words he used in the vlog inserted in a text or an email to Troy, even sent through Erik if needed, is all that is he has to do. He hasn’t done so, and probably never will. He may have valid reasons. But under the circumstances, if he sees their paths about to cross somehow, I hope he will do the decent thing and aim his motorcycle in a different direction. Troy does not need or deserve Mikes turning up after all this time to upset (however inadvertently) what could otherwise become a very strong and beautiful lifelong commitment to Owen.

Preceded by a long overdue and totally honest talk with Owen.

Wracking my brain but I can't remember whether Troy ever told Owen about Miles and the trauma of The Abandonment. I doubt it, though, otherwise Troy's reaction to the vlog would have been different. I hope he does tell Owen though. If he doesn't, the poor man will be totally unprepared for the inevitable meeting between Mike's and Triy that seems to be rumbling up like distant thunder. Dear God, @kbois, I surely hope and pray you are not planning to let Miles' emotional problems from the "the better part of a decade ago" reach out from the past to destroy the long and obviously good relationship between Troy and his Owen. Miles isn't cooped up on a little boat anymore, and it's a big country that he's exploring with cycke and cat. There must be some handsome, hot and hunky, single, motorcycling, cat-loving, emotionally well-centered and stable man whom Miles can meet by accident, fall into a deep attraction with, and finally start building his first healthy relationship--maybe the first months of which spent on the road riding off in the opposite direction to where Troy lives. Miles' childhood trauma should not continue to traumatize other innocent people.

True, that, about Caleb...Awww, @kbois, don't go spoiling my righteous indignation, at least, not yet--I was just starting to enjoy it!😉

Wow, @Philippe. I read this chapter and was trying to formulate my pretty negative reaction to what we have seen of Miles since The Abandonment, then I read your comment, and you've said it all, and much better than I could have. Good old Miles still seems to have a lot of unresolved stuff hanging over him--not surprising, though. He needs his therapy and seems to welcome it, but traveling as he does he can't do it regularly. But like @Philippesaid--Miles setting those conditions on Erik, well, pretty selfish. And with what right, after "the better part of a decade"?, I ask myself. Nah, he's stamped out whatever latent sympathy I might still have had for him. By the time we finally find out what caused The Abandonment, if ever, it won't matter to me any more. Miles' refusal to make any attempt to contact Troy over "the better part of a decade" and his insistence that Erik not share information about Miles with Troy unless Troy asks directly make any form of reconciliation between Mikes and Troy seem totally out of reach and fundamentally undesirable in any event, and if it does happen, utterly unbelievable. I can't imagine what could motivate Miles to finally explain himself to Troy at this late stage, but if Miles' train does somehow cross Troy's track, and by some miracle he does finally tell Troy what he should have told him "the better part of a decade" ago, then I hope Troy's reaction is to politely say "Thank you" and then to proceed with his life.

I don't understand something. The wireless broadcast drew outside attention to Vane's inhuman abuses and brought Cameron on deck. Did no-one set parameters for the treatment of the boys after Vane? Or are they all complicit, willing to accept a new, equally abusive but more surreptitious approach, anything that could banish the spectre of gayness? What about Lord Miller, who had apparently been threatening the Prime Minister because of the mistreatment of his son?

This chapter was perfect, because Lucien was perfect in it. He made clear to Sadie, and far more importantly, to Eli himself, how utterly absolute his commitment to Eli is. Eli is Lucien's only way out of his entrapment, but what binds them together goes way beyond that. Eli can hold onto that through the tough decisions and actions that lie ahead.

We readers are all relieved that Troy has moved on. But it wasn't easy...as I read the quote below, Troy suffered through a Miles-induced period of about a year, before he could even consider being part of a relationship again. "We had met at a party at the end of my sophomore year. Owen was a friend of a friend that Dutch introduced me to. We had hit it off pretty well that night. I was still reluctant to move forward, part of me wanting Miles to stroll back into my life. Up until then, I didn’t want any part of a relationship. Instead, I spent the months after his departure pity-fucking my way through the Grindr app. Hook-ups had been my coping mechanism until Owen came along." But the first six months were obviously a struggle until Erik finally told Troy that he'd been in touch with Miles and about his job on the boat-clearly Miles wasnt coming back... I feel that that news triggered the actual letting-go process that Troy needed. None of this changes my opinion that somewhere in that period, Miles should have sent an apology to Troy. It might have taken a few months til he himself had settled down after the upheaval. But, not even a one line text message in all that time? I agree with @jaysalmn, logically, that at this point I'm hoping Mike's does not come back. But, I re-read chapter 13. In that whole chapter, Miles' pov, the are two references to Troy--first, when he reveals that he made Erik promise not to say anything to Troy: then in the last sentence, "I felt his absence like the searing pain of a phantom limb." Nowhere any sign that he understands and regrets what he did to Troy, although it probably was unavoidable. Troy by contrast, six months into dealing with Miles' abandonment, reacted positively when his dad, finally, told him what had become of Miles. He smiled and "felt relieved that Miles had found something that would let him travel". That sentiment, that Miles had found something good for himself, enabled Troy to start letting go. The difference in the two mindsets is profound. Troy all along seemed to understand why Miles left and, instead of wallowing in bitterness, deep down wished him well. Miles by contrast, seems still entirely absorbed by his own pain-no thought fir the pain he caused to stroy and to everyone on the ranch. I get that it was probably too soon for him when he started the sailing trip. Maybe in one of the next chapters we'll see how his healing has gone. I hope that he's gets a safe enough mental space that he can finally examine the consequences of his actions, not just for himself, but for the love he left behind. So maybe they should meet up again, in say three more years, so that he can apologize to Troy, then get back on his ship and sail away again.

I get the sense that Daniel is developing feelings for Julian that the latter seems unaware of. If so, I hope it does not lead to tension when Sam arrives.

That makes sense. In the moment of his decision to leave. Did it still makes sense after six months? Could he not have just sent a message to Troy after some of that time had past, saying, " I'm sorry, I left because I couldn't find a way to stay and not hurt you. It's not your fault." ? Instead, he just disappearsand leaves Troy possibly agonizing over what he himself did to drive Miles away.

Miles isn't abusing Troy. He chose to leave because he knew if he didn't they would be in an even worse place (that's the only hint you guys get). For me, the unforgiveable part is not that Miles decided he had to leave, or even that he left abruptly. It is that for six plus months, he maintains silence towards Troy, who bears ZERO responsibility for Miles' mental and emotional problems. Yet he talks to Erik. I can't quite reconcile that in my mind. Is Mikes choosing to selectively maintain only certain parts of his recent past and his new discarded family? If so, that might actually be even worse.

I agree wholeheartedly. The trauma of being so abruptly and totally abandoned by Miles, on top of the trauma of his brother's death--Troy has definitely suffered too. I'm sure Erik has stepped in and tried to cushion some of Troy's pain, and Erik will encourage him to seek counselling, if needed. But Miles has wreaked too much damage, not just abandoning Troy, but putting everyone on the ranch, including Erik, in an unsustainably difficult position between the two boys--because everyone there had taken Miles in as one of their own. I hope, though, that Troy has enough resilience to not sit apathetically in his apartment waiting for Miles to decide to perhaps contact him. I hope he gets out with his friends on campus and builds up a life that does not involve Miles or his memory at all. And I hope that literally years pass before Miles tries to reach out to Troy again. That Troy has enough time to build his life and a great relationship without Miles. Maybe it would be best if their next encounter is accidental and NOT on the Ranch, with Miles bumping into Troy in the company of his better half (to whom Troy has long ago told the whole sad sorry) and their two energetic, mischievous, and torally adorable young sons. You can all probably tell I have, shall we say, no sympathy at all for young Miles. I would (or at least could) have had some if he hadn't stayed in touch with Erik. That Miles does talk to Erik without himself sending even an indirect sign of life to Troy over a period of more than six months, well, that's too much for me to stomach. I wish Miles well in overcoming his demons -- may he do so well away from Troy, and the Ranch.

A compelling start, for sure. Wayne comes across as quite obsessive, and a step away from slipping too deep into his fantasy. Nothing we've seen of Raymond thus far augur well for Wayne if he shows his feelings. I hope we gets some insights into Raymond through his own pov.

This is compelling and fascinating as a premise . I'm really looking forward to following his this tale evolves.