White Sheets - 5. The First: 20 years ago

Up here, on the third floor, he had never been before. There were a surprising number of doors in the white walls, and in front of one of them, which looked to him like all the others, Anduin stopped.

"Riri... you know we both have to obey the High Mother whether we like it or not. And what she asks of us now, you will perhaps- probably- not like."

He nodded silently. What else could he do? Of course he hadn't been told what would happen next, they never did- he was too dreamy and childish, Pa said.

Anduin opened the door and gently pushed him in with his hand in the small of his back; stunned, he tripped over his own feet.

Warm light seemed to come directly from the ceiling and walls, spilling over a large bed of black wood with black sheets and pillows, making the two large mirrors on the walls to the left and right sparkle and the large painting directly above the bed gleam dully.

A blush crept up his face. Not because the man in the painting was naked, but because he was holding his exaggeratedly large erect penis with one hand.

It's perfectly normal in the morning, Pa had said, the blood compresses the urethra so you don't accidentally pee in bed. It happens even to very small babies.

But in recent weeks he had woken up more often than usual in the middle of the night, his penis hard and hot, and haunted by snatches of dreams in which stranger's hands gently caressed his body. With that came the strange thought of touching himself, like the hands in the dreams. Like the man in the picture did.

"Riri..." Anduin sat on the edge of the bed and beckoned him over with a faint smile.

Hesitantly, he put one foot in front of the other, finding it very disconcerting to see himself doing so in one of the mirrors. In the room where they slept, there was only a small mirror above the sink for Pa to shave in the morning, and he himself seldom took more than a passing glance in it.

"What is it?"

"The picture..." he murmured, his face warming again.

"Hasn't Pa explained it to you yet?" Anduin asked with a subtle frown.

"Explained what?" he asked back. He didn't want to stand awkwardly while Anduin sat, but the black bed was off-putting.

Anduin's frown gave way to a wry smile. "Men," he began quietly, "are the spark that ignites the divine fire of women."

"I've heard that before," he returned. "Ma said life is born from this fire."

"Right. But where's your spark?"

He frowned- partly at the question he had never asked himself before, and partly at Anduin's hands, which first grabbed him by the waist and pulled him closer before setting about undoing the lacing of his pants.

"It's in here." Anduin said, pushing the thin pants and washed out briefs down before gently grabbing his testicles.

"Oh." That was a strange thought. "And how does it get out of there and to the woman?" Their pa still had his testicles, cutting them off and getting the spark out like that was out of the question, although they had done that with Isidore. Why, in fact?

"Let me show you."

"But there's no woman here," he interjected cautiously. His pants and briefs slipped off his bare feet as Anduin gently pulled him down beside him on the bed.

"You don't need one for this, either." Anduin smiled wryly and undressed himself.

He watched as he did so, hesitantly removing his tunic as Anduin nodded at him promptingly. The situation made him nervous somehow. Women and the divine spark... was he going to start serving women soon? He was only twelve, after all.

"Don't worry," Anduin said softly, wrapping an arm around him, "this one's easy."

It was quite warm here in the room, almost too warm to cuddle, but he still snuggled into his brother's embrace of safety and comfort and received a kiss on the forehead.

"We need to tickle that spark awake," he whispered in his ear, his hand sliding over the thin thigh. "Don't worry, Riri, it won't hurt."

He nodded, for he trusted his brother, after all, though it was a strange feeling when Anduin took his penis in his hand and caressed it with gentle pressure. Wrapping his arms around Anduin, he closed his eyes and tried to classify the strange feeling in his loins.

"Maurice..." Anduin whispered tonelessly, and he lifted his head, meeting Anduin's gaze.

Maurice, not Riri.

Sometimes he wasn't sure who he actually was. No one could tell him and his twin brother Remy apart- except Anduin- and so they both simply went by Riri. He'd gotten used to it, but there were increasingly moments when he wasn't comfortable with always being considered part of a double.

Except now. Because no matter what this was going to be, no matter what the High Mother had commanded, Remy wasn't going to let Anduin embrace him like this. Not anymore. Remy had changed.

Maurice smiled shyly and flinched in surprise when Anduin kissed him on the mouth. Kisses were a symbol of trust and affection, Pa had said. A man could be whipped if he kissed a woman on the mouth without her permission.

Anduin looked hurt by his reaction and he quickly shook his head.

"No, I... sorry, I... Anduin, I love you."

Instantly, the smile returned to Anduin's face. "I love you even more," he whispered and kissed him again, gently, as if he might break under too much pressure.

His stomach began to flutter. It felt like the velvety wings of the big nocturnal butterfly in his hands, which he had caught a few days ago so that the cook wouldn't slay the poor insect. He tried to imitate what Anduin was doing with his lips, and the fluttering became a tingling sensation crawling over his skin. His penis had become hard and Anduin's fingers no longer felt strange there, but good.

Then Anduin broke away from him, smiled, and nodded. "That's nice, isn't it?"

His lips felt strange as he licked over them and nodded as well. "Yes. And... the spark?"

Anduin nodded again and moved further to the center of the bed, from where he made an inviting gesture.

Maurice hesitated, distracted for a moment by the sight of Anduin's penis. It too had grown hard and was significantly larger than his own, surrounded by short-cropped dark blond hair. Would he himself grow that large in a few years?

"Come."

He clumsily crawled onto the bed and allowed himself to be half pulled into Anduin's lap, the large penis coming to rest on his thigh. Being held by Anduin was reassuring, despite the eerie black bed and the painting and the mirrors, so he turned his attention to the renewed tender kisses. The tingling in his body came back, stronger than before, and soon concentrated somewhere low in his belly as Anduin's hand stroked his penis in a very special way.

And all of a sudden, something inside him seemed to burst like a soap bubble, and a breathless gasp escaped him. His hand clawed at Anduin's arm as strange waves seemed to roll through his body; the upside of his thighs tingled strangely.

"Was that nice?" Anduin whispered, and he blinked in confusion because he hadn't been aware he had closed his eyes.

"Yeah..." he groaned. Suddenly he felt decidedly content and tired. "Yeah..."

"That there," Anduin said quietly and with an audible smile, pointing to two white patches of gelatinous substance in front of them on the sheet that hadn't been there a moment ago, "is the spark."

Maurice made an approving 'hmm', determined to think about it in more detail later, and leaned his head against Anduin's shoulder, but then nearly fell over when Anduin moved away from him again. He frowned as Anduin lay down and patted beside him.

"Lie down. I have something more to show you."

He obeyed and made himself fairly comfortable, his face turned to Anduin, who suddenly didn't look quite so relaxed anymore and pulled Maurice's leg half over his hip.

"What-"

"Shh." There was something insistent in that sound which cut off any further response. "What you just felt is an orgasm, with what we call a spark coming out of you," Anduin said quietly after a moment, fleetingly touching Maurice's now flaccid penis between them. Then he touched the narrow patch of skin between his testicles and anus with his fingertips. "Women have an opening here, that's where the spark has to go in."

Maurice nodded. He wasn't stupid enough to have to ask how that was supposed to work, the connection he got.

"I'm supposed to show you."

"But-" There was no woman here, and he definitely wasn't one, a frown furrowed his brow accordingly.

"Shh. Keep quiet, please." Anduin almost looked pained now. "I... I have orders, Riri. I..." He closed his eyes and licked his lips.

Uncertain, Maurice looked at his brother, who grimaced. Defying the High Mother was never a good idea, they both knew that, and as he wrapped an arm around Anduin, he could feel the whip scars on his back proving it.

"Touch me.", Anduin then whispered. "Like I just touched you."

He nodded silently and reached for Anduin's penis, which had gone soft. However, he watched as Anduin stretched and reached between the pillows- when his hand reappeared, a thick translucent drop sat on his fingertips.

"This is going to be a little uncomfortable," he announced quietly. "Concentrate on the other things, will you?"

Maurice nodded again without a word and leaned forward to kiss Anduin as he gently rubbed his penis. And then he winced with a soft hiss as Anduin's fingers slid wet and cold between his buttocks.

"Shh! Stay quiet, Riri, please!" It was almost a beg, the expression in his eyes desperate, but a moist fingertip circled Maurice's anus.

He swallowed and gasped in surprise and pain as Anduin pressed a finger inside him. "Anduin-" His protest was stifled by a kiss, and startled, he squeezed a little too hard, which now elicited a stifled gasp from Anduin.

"I'm sorry," Anduin then whispered. "I'm sorry, I don't want to hurt you." Tears now shimmered in his eyes, bringing Maurice to tears as well. "I love you, believe me I do, I'm sorry."

And Maurice nodded, for he believed him, loved him, and pressed his face to Anduin's shoulder as the finger moved in his backside and the penis swelled in his hand. The question of how Anduin knew all this, how he knew what to do, he didn't ask- he probably didn't really want to know the answer anyway.

Not much time could have passed before a pleased sound escaped Anduin's lips and he pulled away from Maurice's grip. "Turn over on your stomach and bend one leg," he murmured in a shaky voice, and Maurice, obeying, searched in vain for his gaze.

So he squeezed one of the awful black pillows comfortably under his head and watched out of the corner of his eye as Anduin again reached between the pillows. This time, however, he saw a pump-head bottle wedged halfway behind the mattress and the transparent stuff Anduin was taking from it.

"Try to relax." Anduin whispered, and he nodded into the pillow as the mattress shook under Anduin's movements.

The first thing he felt was Anduin's sticky wet penis pressing against his butt before Anduin lay on top of him, struggling to support his weight with his arms. In any other situation, his older brother's physical superiority had seemed like a blessing to him, a welcome protection, but now it intimidated him terribly. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to breathe calmly.

"I love you, Maurice, remember that," Anduin whispered in a choked tone directly into his ear, and he nodded weakly.

Only to gasp as the tip of the penis pressed slowly but relentlessly into him. The finger, he had to realize, was a joke in comparison. It was painful and it felt so incredibly wrong to him, but a certain horror overrode everything- except the pain. He felt like he was being torn in two, and with each of Anduin's little thrusts, a sharp pain moved up to his belly button. With difficulty he tried to be quiet, just as Anduin had said, but he couldn't stop himself from whimpering, and when Anduin gasped at a particularly hard thrust himself, a loud sob escaped him. Tears welled up under his lids and seeped into the pillow.

Breathing heavily, Anduin leaned forward, kissed Maurice on the shoulder and cheek. For a moment it seemed as if he wanted to say something, but then he merely nuzzled Maurice's hair and began thrusting into him again.

The pain changed, becoming a sharp burn right at his butt hole, and further inside a dull pressure that crept higher and higher from his belly button until his breath hitched with each thrust. The sound of flesh on flesh echoed loudly in his ears, punctuated by his own occasional sobs and Anduin's increasingly frequent grunts.

A particularly violent thrust made him first groan and then freeze as he became aware that Anduin was just emptying his spark inside him. As Anduin sank down on him breathing hard, half crushing him, he frantically wondered how bad it was if it wasn't a woman who absorbed the divine spark. Surely the High Mother wouldn't have ordered this if it would harm him, would she?

Anduin rolled off of him and snuggled against him. "I love you." he whispered coarsely. "I'm sorry, Great Mother, I'm so sorry, I hurt you, when I promised to take care of you." He sobbed and Maurice turned his head toward him.

"It's not your fault," he whispered back, wiping a tear from his cheek. "I don't want you to be punished." He tried to ignore the way his butt throbbed, his muscles there twitching painfully, and kissed him very gently on the mouth.

Surprised, Anduin looked at him.

"I love you, Anduin."

Slowly, Anduin nodded, and then they cuddled up.

~

When Maurice awoke, Anduin was gone. However, a dull ache had remained, sharpening as he rolled over and blinked into the room. The light was different, and he was stunned to find that the painting of the naked man had slid aside to reveal a window through which cheerful sunshine fell now. Slowly he sat up, which his butt didn't particularly like- there and also on his thighs crumbled dried something from his skin. He resisted the urge to touch himself there examining and flinched when something banged against the door from the outside. He wanted to reach for a bedspread to cover himself, but then realized there wasn't one, and sat a little differently, which hurt again.

However, it was his pa who opened the door and- balancing a tray with one hand- paused briefly to look at him strangely before actually coming in. "Good morning."

"Pa..." he was incredibly embarrassed to be sitting in front of his Pa like this, in this condition, on this stained bed.

His Pa contorted his face in agony. "Alvin."

"Excuse me?"

"You're supposed to call me by name from now on." Slowly, he moved closer.

"Why? You're my pa." Maurice frowned and hugged his knees to his chest.

"But you're not a little boy anymore... Maurice." He stopped in front of the bed and, after a moment's hesitation, set the tray down there.

Maurice looked up at him and remained silent, not knowing what to say. At twelve, he was certainly no longer a small child, but he was also still far from being a man.

"There's a weak painkiller in the tea. And the cream... well, I guess that's self-explanatory." His pa took a step back, looking strangely sad.

"Thanks." Maurice nodded curtly, but otherwise didn't move. His stomach complained as the smell of the sweetened herbal tea hit his nostrils, but at that moment it struck him how unpleasant the actual smell of the room was and he became nauseous.

"The High Mother is pleased." his pa then said quietly and he frowned, but before he could ask a question about it, his pa continued, "The mirrors aren't mirrors, but special windows into the neighboring rooms."

Something seemed to drop heavily in his stomach and his face grew hot. "Excuse me?" He blinked at his pa. "She... was watching?"

"I think so." His pa nodded and to his surprise, he blushed before turning away. "You'll have to be down by noon at the latest."

Maurice didn't even manage to nod. He was horrified. And ashamed.