Okay, first of all I am going to state that while I work extensively with adolescents and have numerous nieces and nephews, I have no children of my own. I once again respectfully disagree with this. If JJ had disciplined Maddy, I think you would be more inline with my thinking but he did not. He stopped her from running around a busy kitchen, which honestly she could have been hurt in; was that JJ's motivation no, but still I don't see how this was wrong. I would never think twice about stopping any child in my extended family from running around any of hour family kitchens, nor would any parent of said child have an issue with it, I asked this morning. If he had spanked Maddy, or even made her stand in the corner, then I would agree those actions would not be for JJ to take. But no kitchen, not even one are efficiently as I am sure any kitchen in a house owned by JP and or Isidore is really a safe play area for a small child. I cannot tell you how many times I have put my hands on a small child in my family, usually on the shoulder, and marched them out of a kitchen. I just don't see where this is an issue at all. Now, if it was a child that I was not related to; I would probably get a relative to take the child out of the kitchen unless there was a issue where time or safety did not allow that.
I think this statement sums up so many of my feelings on this; if the actions of Will, Darius, JP, and Stef were in any manner constructive I would not be having as big of a reaction to all of this. But I honestly feel that they have all regressed back to kindergarten and are fighting over who gets the bucket in the sandbox. The problem is that JJ because of his history is more susceptible to the negative impact this may have on him than others in the family.
Okay, I got some feedback that I could just not label something abusive or cruel and not explain my reasoning so as quickly as I can here it goes. Some I an not going to rehash as I already feel I have done before; but one of the biggest reasons that I find this abusive and cruel is the loss of JJ's identity and safe place once again.
JJ has a history of sexual abuse and self harming. In addition, he lost his mother's involvement in his life when her mental issues overwhelmed her; he then lost both her and Robbie when the towers fell; then he lost his career that he had given up any semblance of a normal life for by suffering a debilitating physical injury; and then he lost his first love, and yes, others in this family seem to fall in and out of love and lust on a daily basis but JJ seems to require a level of emotional and psychological attachment to those he cares for before he can get really involved and this makes the loss harder on him than some of the loses suffered by others in his family.
JJ truly seems to be the forgotten child in his family. Other than Claire, Matt, Will, and Stef no one seems to ever take any interest or makes any effort to get involved in his life in any meaningful way because they actually want to. When he was sexually abused by his coach, his family stepped in but honestly, when Michael was taking all the photos of him naked, most of the family just tried to sweep it under the rug. I know some will disagree with this but I want written proof of any sustained interest that any others have ever really taken or tried to involve themselves in his life. And I will give you that each of them; Claire, Will, Matt, and Stef had made an effort at times; but few of the instances have come across as being out of love and familial caring.
JJ has set himself up in New York. He got back into school, and is trying to carve out a life for himself outside of skating and his family. With Claire and Stef's help he was trying to make a place for himself in the fashion world. I find nothing in his actions that indicate he was trying to make himself feared by anyone; yes, maybe admired but then is that not a basic need that most of us have. He had chosen Bellona as his surrogate loco parentis without the legal obligations and as his mentor. He was forming an important bond with her in order to establish his place in the very closed and insular world of high fashion. But the actions of Will, Darius, JP, and Stef have truly ripped all of this away from him, once again he has suffered a major loss of security and happiness. The fact that they pulled Bellona into the scheme means that no matter what happens, JJ will never be able to fully trust her again. JJ is smart enough to realize that part of the party scene could not have occurred without her assistance. He has once again lost one of the few adult figures in his life that meant something to him. Even if the issue with his family resolves itself; the rupture that JJ will have with Bellona will never fully go away, he will always be looking out for when she betrays him again. Plus, as with any insular community like the high fashion world, there are few if any secrets. People will find out what his family pulled and this will always taint JJ's place in their world. So once again, JJ will have to recover from losing another important relationship with an adult that really mattered in his life, plus will have to realize that no matter what, his place in the new life that he was trying to make for himself with be forever tainted.
I don't know how you could call this anything but cruel and abusive.