Love is... 2 (Gus and Rex) - 1. Chapter 1

My name is Chubby. That’s what my friends at school call me. But seriously, I’m not chubby at all—not even a little bit. I’m 5 feet 10 and weigh about 165 pounds., and it’s all muscle from playing sports regularly. Besides, “Chubby” is just a name my mom gave me. She’s the one who started it, and it stuck. At home, my mom and older brothers call me Chubby, but my dad and other relatives call me Gus—short for August, the month I was born in. But the reason my friends call me Chubby is because Gus way too cool for someone like me.

What the hell? I’m pretty sure I’m cool enough to be called Gus.

I’m a junior at an all-boys high school. There’s this one friend in my group who I’m way closer with than anyone else. His name is Marcus. I’ve known him since seventh grade, but it wasn’t until around eighth or ninth grade that we really started to hit it off.

And that’s when I started to realize... I like boys.

And turns out—I liked this guy.

But I hadn’t come out of the closet yet. And I didn’t want anyone to know that I was into guys. I didn’t want my friends to find out and start thinking of me differently.
It wasn’t that I was scared or trying to hide it or anything—I just felt like I wasn’t ready yet. And honestly, I hadn’t seen a reason to tell anyone either. It wasn’t like I had to make some big announcement or anything, right? I figured when the time came that I had a boyfriend or something, I’d say it then. That was how I’d always thought about it.

But back then, I was getting more and more confused. Caught between accepting the fact that I liked Marcus, and not knowing what to do with those feelings. So, one day, I just decided to confess to him—straight-up. Like, lightning bolt to the head—"I am gay." Telling him was partly to get it off my chest, but also... to test how he would react, to see if maybe he liked guys, too.

You know how sometimes you just get that feeling? Because Marcus's the kind of guy who’s super charming. There were even times he'd tease me or compliment other guys, and I’d start overthinking. But most of the time, he didn’t seem interested in anyone— guy or girl.

After I confessed to him, I could tell he wasn’t totally freaked out about me being gay. Well, I mean not THAT freaked out, you know what I mean. He still hung out with me the same as always. And honestly? We got even closer after that. We clicked even more. Anyway, as time went on, I started to notice Marcus opening up to me, too. Like, he started to show signs—subtle ones—that he might be interested in guys or gay stuff as well. Eventually, not long after, he even admitted he had a guy that he had a crush on. And recently, I had a chance to tell him that I used to like him. That was when the shit hit the fan and he was super shocked it cracked me up so bad.
Anyway, eventually he ended up dating Justus, our classmate. And I was very happy for him.

Okay, Marcus’s situation is one thing. But what about mine? What the hell am I supposed to do?

Honestly, it’s tough—being gay, but not showing it, and never telling anyone. When it came to flirting with someone, I just couldn’t do it.

I didn’t know how to act naturally.

And as for anyone who might want to flirt with me?

There were barely any—because people didn’t know what I really was. Sure, there were a few cases. Some seniors or juniors at school secretly liked me. Some even made it blatantly obvious—like they really wanted me. But I couldn’t respond. I couldn’t show anything back. Because at that time, none of my other friends—aside from Marcus—knew about this part of me. And if I ended up messing around with someone, and things didn’t work out, and that person went and told people about me... I’d be totally screwed. I wanted people to know only if it came from me. From my own mouth. Not because I got forced into it by the situation.

It’s not like I wanted to keep hiding from people forever. Believe me, I actually wanted to tell everyone and just be done with it. Because I’m the kind of person who likes to show how I feel and what I think. But something always held me back. Something that kept whispering in my head—
“It’s not time yet...”

That’s why I made a promise to myself: I would only tell my friends when the moment truly felt right. I would only come out when I met the right person.

But the problem was... after Marcus got into a relationship, I started to wonder if maybe it was time I had one too.

There were people I used to chat with through websites or apps

that were meant for guys who liked guys—but nothing ever came out of them.

The ones I did meet, I only saw them once or twice. We might watch a movie, and then that would be it.

It never went anywhere. Because most of them didn’t really talk to me. They only liked my face. And that was the end of it. They didn’t want anything more, apart from sex, I guess.

They liked my looks—but they didn’t want to know who I was. And that wasn’t what I wanted.

All I wanted was something genuine. Not just someone who wanted to sleep with me. Not just someone who liked how I looked. I wanted someone who liked me for who I was. So, I stop chatting or meeting people that way entirely.

“Gus, why haven’t we seen Marcus around lately?

He hasn’t come over in a while,” one weekend, my dad in the afternoon while we were all eating lunch together at the table.

“Oh my goddd! He’s probably been busy making out at his boyfriend’s place!”

“What? Marcus has a boyfriend already?” my mom jumped in.

“Yeah, yeah! They just started dating not long ago. They’re still in that gross lovey-dovey woo-woo phase.”

“What kind of trash are you spewing, Chubby?” Max, my older brother, chuckled while chewing his food.

“So, who exactly is this Marcus’s boyfriend? What kind of kid is he? How do they know each other?” Dad followed up.

“They’re friends, Dad. Classmates, something like that. They’ve known each other for a while, but only recently started realizing their feelings and dating,” I said, waving my fork around as I answered.

“So, when is it gonna be your turn, Chubby? I haven’t seen you get a boyfriend or a girlfriend even once,” Mom said teasingly.

“Oh my god, Mom! Now Max’s gonna think you’re pushing me to get a wife or something,” I grumbled as I looked at my plate.

“I’m not pushing anything! I just want my kids to find love and break up, like everyone else,” she replied.

“What?!” Max and I shouted at the same time, while Dad sat quietly, shaking his head.

“I just want you both to understand,” Mom went on. “In this world, no one will love you as much as your parents do.”

“Oh please, Mom. You don’t even need to say that—I already know! But the reason I’m still single isn’t because I don’t want to be in a relationship. It’s because I haven’t met the right person yet.

Seriously, Mom. I get it. I really do. But what can I do if my soulmate hasn’t even been born yet? Ha!”

“Well then, I guess my soulmate must be in the same boat as yours, Chubby. Probably hasn’t been born yet either,” Max said, shrugging.

“Mine too,” Dad added with a nod.

“Why do you always pick on me, huh?” Mom turned to Dad with a glare that didn’t quite reach her eyes.

“Oh, come on. I was just messing around,” Dad said with a laugh.

“Don’t even start with me—or I’ll shove raw beef straight into your mouth,” Mom warned, smirking as she waved her spoon at him.

“Stop flirting, you two,” I rolled my eyes, “We don’t want another sibling, K?”

Mom glanced over at Max with a side-eye that said it all. “Well then, you better not bring a girlfriend back here, either, got it? I know your reputation very well.”

“Whoa, what the hell, Mom?” Max nearly choked on his rice. “This is real life, not some K-Drama. Maybe you’ve been watching too much Netflix. And for the record, I don’t have that many women. Just saying. Don’t trust Rex and Art too much—they’re just trying to roast me.”

“By the way,” Dad said suddenly, “what’s the deal with that Rex kid? Are we still having him tutor Chubby or not?”

Max is my older brother—almost three years older than me. He’s twenty now, studying engineering at a well-known university. He’s got a bunch of close friends, and one of them—a name I’d heard plenty of times but never seen in person— was this guy named Rex.

Here’s the story. Back when Max was a freshman, he used to be Rex's roommate. Our parents had gone to pick him up and drop him off there often, so they’d met Rex plenty of times. Sometimes Rex even came by our house, but we always missed each other somehow. I’m not the kind of guy who hangs around the house much, so I’d never actually seen his face in person—not even once.

As for what Dad was talking about—it’s basically this:
since Max got into university, the expectation kind of fell on me to do the same.

And now that I’m in Grade 11, my parents want me to study harder, take more tutoring seriously. But they were worried I’d slack off, so they started thinking about hiring a private tutor to teach me at home.

That’s when Max suggested his friend—this Rex guy. Apparently, he’s not just a good student—he’s really good. He’d even tutored high school kids before.

Now, if you’re wondering why I didn’t just ask my own brother to tutor me so they wouldn’t have to pay someone else… well, come on. You can probably guess why.

Just imagine it—two loudmouth brothers, both thinking they’re smarter than they actually are, stuck in the same room trying to study together, supposedly seriously.

Yeah… not gonna happen, bro.

“Yeah, I already talked to him,” Max said. “He said he’s fine with it. He can come tutor at our house, or we could go study at his place,
or even meet somewhere else if that’s easier. Totally up to us—he’s cool with anything.”

“The reason I want Chubby to study with Rex,” Mom added, “is because I want him at home— somewhere I can keep an eye on him.

I don’t want him wandering off or getting distracted.”

“Ughhh, Mooom,” I groaned.

“But if he ends up going to Rex’s dorm,” Max added, “you can still check on him. If he skips or slacks off, you can just punish him later.”

“Wowww, thanks a lot,” I turned to glare at my amazing older brother.

“By the way, Rex moved out of the old dorm and lives alone now, right?” Mom asked.

“Yeah, that’s right.”

“So, Gus,” Dad turned to me this time, “do you actually want to study or not?”

“Oh, come on, Dad. You’re asking if I want to study? Let me be honest—how many kids in the world actually want to study, huh? Seriously, if I’m being real... I don’t want to study. But I do want to be smart.”

“Hah. Like someone who wants a fried egg but doesn’t want to crack the egg,” Dad replied.

“Ughhh, Dad!!” I whined. “Fine, fine! I’ll study! I mean, I do want to get into the same uni as Max did. It’s just… I’ve never met this Rex guy before. I don’t know what he’s like. Is he even good at teaching? What kind of person is he?”

“Dude—he’s legit,” Max said, turning to me. “I swear, I only passed Calculus because of him. He’s really good at explaining stuff. He’s smart, he knows how to break things down—better than some of the profs at my university, even.”

“That Rex kid is kinda cute,” Mom added. “I like him. He’s always polite. His skin’s nice, he’s got a sweet smile, his eyes are super clear. Honestly, his face still looks like he’s in high school. He’s got that soft, baby-faced look, you know?”

“You mean like, real innocent and sweet?” Max said.

“Yeah, yeah, that! He totally has that look. I bet he’s got a ton of girls chasing after him.”

“I don’t know, Mom,” Max shrugged. “I’ve seen people crush on him before. Even some of our friends used to rave about him. But it seems like he’s way more focused on studying than anything else.”

“You could take a page from that,” Mom said, narrowing her eyes.

“Oh come on, Mom. No need to roast your own kid like that. And anyway, what I said was about how he used to be. I don’t know if he has a girlfriend now or not. He’s probably talking to a ton of people by now.”

As I listened to Mom and Max go on about him, I couldn’t help but wonder—just how good-looking is this guy? Because if he’s really as cute as Mom keeps saying, I’d be more than happy to study with him.

There are four of us in the family, and our house has always been lively like this. It only got a bit quieter when Max got into university and moved into a dorm during his first year. But once he adjusted to college life, Mom dragged him back home—mainly because his GPA dropped from over 3.4 to just around 2.5. And the reason? He got too caught up with girls. Too many side flings or so. He tried to hide it from our parents, but come on—they know their own son better than that. Actually, I’m probably the only one in the family who saw and heard him on the phone with a different girl nearly every day.

Me, though? I’m the complete opposite. I know I’m gay. But I don’t show it. I don’t have a boyfriend. I’ve never openly talked to anyone. I’m not a flirt. And when it comes to studying, I’m not terrible or anything—just average. I think I just hang out with my friends too much. I’m hooked on sports and going out, so my parents want to stick me in one-on-one tutoring, hoping it’ll straighten me out a bit.

I’ve met a few of Max’s friends before—like Arthur, who I actually know pretty well. We’re kinda close, even though we don’t talk on the phone much. Mostly, we just chat on text. I’d tell him stuff, and he’d tell me about his own life, too.

“Rex really is a great tutor, Chubby. I’m telling you,” Art told me once when we talked on the phone.

“Yeah, that’s what Max said, too,” I replied.

“So, when are you starting lessons?”

“Dunno yet. Gotta wait for my mom to decide. She’s the boss of the house.”

“Yeah, no arguing with that,” Art laughed.

“Why don’t you just tutor me yourself then, huh?”

“Dude! Chubby! You trying to fail the SATs or what? Hahaha!”

“Nooo, it’s just… I’m comfortable with you, y’know? If I studied with you, I wouldn’t be nervous.”

“Nahhh, Rex’s cool. He’s a good guy—really nice. I think you’ll warm up to him quickly.”

“Hmm, my mom said the same thing. Kept going on about how cute he is, how nice his face is, and all this other stuff. Is he really that good-looking, though?”

“Yeah, Rex’s pretty cute, honestly. He’s kinda short, but he has bright eyes, smiles easily, always jokes around. Tons of people like him, I’m not even kidding.”

Damn. Now I was actually kinda looking forward to meeting him. “So, does he have a girlfriend?” I asked. “Max said he wasn’t sure.”

“Hmm… hard to say,” Art replied.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I have seen him talking with some girl from our Major But from what people say, she’s the one crushing on him—he’s not interested. Still, I can’t say for sure, because Rex doesn’t really talk about that stuff much. If you ask him, he just smiles and laughs it off.”

“Really? Huh… Well, whatever. Not like it has anything to do with me anyway.”

“Oh! By the way—are you free tomorrow evening? Some of us were thinking about going to eat and see a movie. Wanna come along? You could meet Rex there too.”

“How many of you are going?”

“Just three or four of us, nothing big. Max’s tagging along with his girl, so you can bring a couple friends if you want.”

“Cool, I’ll ask my friends and send you a message later, okay?”

After I hung up, I called Marcus. He agreed to go with me, but asked if he could drag Justus along too. I didn’t mind at all— it was probably a good thing for them to start going out more together. They were still getting used to the whole boyfriend thing, and they both acted a little awkward about it sometimes.