As You Like It and Touchstone - Opera and Intermezzo - 2. As You Like It and Touchstone - Erotic Opera and Intermezzo

Act One – Working-Day World

Scene One: “Break his Neck”

(The tank room at ‘The Duke’s Winery’. The light is harsh from industrial-sized pendants, and the natural world is not visible. Standing around the whole area is a forest of twelve feet high stainless steel holding tanks. These are slender, about eighteen inches in diameter, shiny and cold-looking. The action starts with Oliver already on stage, pacing nervously. He ducks behind a tank as he hears someone approaching. When he sees Charles, wearing his wrestling tights under a satin robe, he steps forward and the two embrace as the old friend they are. Oliver looks around and pulls Charles aside. What neither of them can see is that Le Beau, who was just waking by, heard the whispered tones, and observes the hit contract and exchange of money from behind a tank.)

Oliver:

Good friend, what – you wrestle today?

Before the Duke?

 

Charles:

Marry, I do.

Oliver: I am to understand

That your young brother Orlando

Is to try for a fall against me?

I wrestle for my whole credit;

And he that can escape me,

Without a sore broken limb,

Shall acquit him well enough.

But, your brother is but young;

Tender I well-suppose it too,

And for the love I bear you,

I would be loath to foil him,

As I must for my honor.

 

Oliver:

Charles, I thank thee for thy love.

(looking around)

But – I bid you, break his young neck,

Not his finger, for I assure –

(fake angst)

And speak it now almost with tears –

But Orlando being so young,

Is villainous before my sight.

(looking again and handing him an envelope thick with cash)

 

Charles:

Heartily glad I came hither,

(winking and slipping the envelope in his robe pocket)

For it that lad dares come to me,

(patting the pocket with the money)

I’ll give him receipt for your love.

(exit Charles – also Le Beau slips away)

 

Oliver:

(to himself)

I never loved him in my life,

And here will I stir this gamester.

I hope to see an end to him,

My soul hates nothing more than he.

Yet he’s gentle:

Full of noble device.

Yet he’s learned:

Though he’s never been schooled.

Yet base of coin:

Enchantingly beloved.

 

'Beloved son' of our dead father,

Leaving the youngest, the whole estate,

And I, eldest, nothing but the charge:

'Raise precious Orlando to adult,'

Then go my poor, banished way from him.

Fie on all unfair fathers,

That love but best when absent,

That dote on youth even so,

From out of their cold-stone graves.

(Darkness – End of Scene One)

 

Scene Two: “There Begins All My Sadness”

(The scene rotates to a large party space at the winery. This room is devoid of any contact with the outside world, except small clearstory windows set high between the steel rafters. Laying on the floor stage center is a length of heavy rope, joined to form a ten-foot circle. As the action starts, we see Rosalind, Celia and Le Beau conferring stage left. All notice Orlando enter stage right. He is wearing typical high-school issue sweat pants and zip up jacket. He carries a gym bag and towel. As he unzips his jacket and begins to stretch on the floor, he contemplates his sad case.)

 

Orlando:

They sayst my oldest brother

Was charged to breed me well, but –

There begins all my sadness.

My younger brother Jaques,

He keeps at school, but me

He keeps rustically at home;

Unkept, unlearned, but working.

Who would dare call that 'keeping'

Of a 'gentleman' – That which

Differs not from the stabling

Of his oxen? Under him,

I gain nothing but my growth –

Like his animals, or dunghills.

This is it, my father’s spirit

In me as much as him

Mutinies against servitude

No longer endures it.

 

(The action switches to the other side of the room. As it begins, we see Le Beau slip away from the girls and covertly go over to Orlando. While the girls talk, we see Le Beau earnestly tell Orlando something pointing to the ring. At the end of which Orlando eagerly shakes his hand and gratefully slaps Le Beau on the shoulder. Le Beau gradually makes his way back to his side with the girls, and exits.)

 

Le Beau:

Where be thy girl's official fool –

Should not good Touchstone be about?

 

Celia:

Whether he's good or not, he's left.

 

Rosalind:

Yes, a country lass has taken him,

And his courtly, sour wit,

To chase after her in the woods.

(Le Beau is distracted by Orlando. He bows to the girls and leave them to go to him.)

 

Celia:

(hugging her from behind)

I pray, Rosalind - sweet Coz –

Be merry!

 

Rosalind:

Dear Celia,

I am showing the world more mirth

Than I am mistress of. But,

Would you have me merrier?

Teach me to forget a father

Banished by your unstable sire.

(getting excited)

They say he's in the Arden forest,

With three of four loving lords

Who with him put themselves

Into voluntary exile,

And with many merry men,

Live like Robin Hood of England’s

Old bygone days. They say young men

Flock there to my father to live,

Timelessly without any want,

In a revived golden world.

 

Celia:

(peevishly)

Humph – I see thou lovest me not

With the full weight that I love thee,

For if your sire had banished mine,

For love of thee, I could take

Your father as my own, if

Only still to be with thee.

 

Rosalind:

(lightening the mood, spinning around and taking Celia by the hands)

From henceforth, I will be merry.

Dear Coz – let us devise sport!

Let me see? What think of…

Falling in love?

 

Celia:

(dead serious, dropping her hands)

Do make sport, but –

Love no man in any earnest,

That at least, I beg of you.

(Fanfare with men whooping and hollering. Enter Charles hoisted on the shoulders of his entourage. They parade him around stage center and the ring. He wears a flashy championship belt. Meanwhile, the Duke enters stage left with Le Beau. They go to the girls. Oliver enters stag right, and stands by Orlando.)

 

Duke:

(to Le Beau)

Come now, the youth won't be entreated?

(Le Beau shakes his head)

Oh, the perils of a young man,

And his own willful forwardness.

 

Rosalind:

Is yonder..?

 

Le Beau:

Even he, madam.

 

Duke:

(to the girls)

I would fain dissuade him, girls.

You speak to him; see if you can –

Apply some persuasion on him.

(Le Beau fetches Orlando, bringing him over to their side)

 

Rosalind:

Young man, I am told you challenge,

Beyond wisdom, Charles the wrestler?

 

Orlando:

He is the general challenger:

I come today to try the strength

Of my youth against the age of him.

 

Celia:

Young man, you are too bold for your years.

(pulling up her shorts, and sniffing manly)

We pray you, for your own sake,

Embrace your safety, and give up

(she punches his shoulder)

On this foolhardy attempt.

 

Rosalind:

We will make it our suit to the Duke

That this wrestling match should not proceed.

 

Orlando:

Punish me not, with your hard thoughts:

Let fair eyes and gentle wishes,

Accompany me to my trial.

For if I be foiled, there is but

One shamed that was never gracious;

For if I be killed, there is but

One dead that is willing to be;

And I shall do my friends no wrong,

(gesturing to Oliver)

For I have none to lament me;

The world, no injury to cite.

For in this world, I have nothing:

I fill up a place, which may be

Better filled, when it is empty.

(The crowd has put down Charles and moved to the sides. The champ is disrobed, and strides over to Orlando.)

 

Charles:

Where is this young gallant,

Who is so desirous,

To lie with his mother earth?

 

Rosalind:

(still reeling and stunned by the sheer dark beauty of Orlando and his feelings, comes off on the verge of sounding cold)

What little strength I have,

I would it with you.

(The wrestling begins: Charles and Orlando step over the rope on the floor. Five men of Charles’ entourage picks up the rope and pull it taught. They begin a rhythmic stamp with their feet and slowly rotate counterclockwise. Once the rhythm is established, and the wrestlers engage, they chant the following chorus in fugue-style.)

 

Chorus:

Where is this young gallant,

Who is so desirous,

To lie with his mother earth?

(after several attempted holds)

 

Duke:

You shall try but one fall!

 

(There follows more chanting. The wrestling continues, and somehow Celia winds up on Oliver’s left side. They exchange glances, and at one moment, as the action in the ring threatens to overtake their position, Oliver takes her by the waist to move her away. She reacts by slowly placing her hands on top of his and turning to face him, then decides to go back to Rosalind. It seems this chance encounter means something to both of them. Finally Orlando, with his back on the floor, manages to catapult Charles out of the ring with his legs. Charles lands with a heavy thump. One of his entourage kneels by him, and after several slaps to the cheeks, Charles groans and revives groggily. His men pick him up and carry him off stage. Some pick up the rope and leave, while one man, grabbing his robe, spills cash on the floor, which he hurriedly scoops up and exits. Orlando, seeing this, winks at Le Beau, who nods his head and smiles despite himself. Orlando then turns scornful eyes on Oliver, who moves to the Duke’s side with a smug, just wait and see, sneer.)

 

Duke:

(moody – suddenly perceiving Orlando as a threat)

What's thy name, young man?

 

Orlando:

Orlando.

 

Duke:

(cold; angry; glancing at Oliver)

You should have better pleased

Had you descended from

Some other father, but

Thou act a gallant youth

And so, fare you away.

(the Duke storms off with Oliver and Le Beau following)

 

Celia:

(aside to Rosalind)

Were I my father, Coz

Would I do this to him?

 

(Orlando goes over to his gym bag, catches his breath and towels off. As he is slipping on his shorts, one man of Charles' entourage comes with the camp's beat. Orlando holds out his hand to receive it, but the man throws it on the floor at the young man's feet. He leaves, and Celia comes up to him tugging at her sagging shorts in her best 'manly' fashion.)

 

Celia:

My father’s nature is but rough,

And sometimes, it is envious.

(She picks up the belt)

You must know, that sticks me at heart.

(opens the belt and puts it on him; Orlando raises his arms in surprise)

Sir you have done well here today.

(punches his shoulder jocularly)

If you keep your love promises

Like you do your will in the ring,

Your lovers shall all be happy…

(Celia is laughing. She looks to her girlfriend, but is horror-stricken to see Rosalind gaga over the boy, and undoing her pendant.)

 

Rosalind:

Orlando, my young man,

(bidding Orlando genuflect, which he does before her. She places her necklace over his bowed head)

Please wear you this for me;

For out-suit with fortune,

I wish I could give more,

But these hands lack the means.

(Orlando rises slowly, his hand going to the pendant, but his eyes staying on Rosalind. He is speechless.)

 

Celia:

(beginning to tug on Rosalind’s arm, but not able to remove Rosalind’s eyes from Orlando’s)

Shall we go, Coz?

 

Rosalind:

Fare well - fair youth.

(Exit Celia pulling Rosalind.)

 

Orlando:

(watching them leave, stupefied, then miffed at himself)

Can I not say

Even 'thank you?'

My better parts

Are all thrown down -

That which stands up,

A lifeless block.

 

Le Beau:

(quietly coming up behind him, giving him a start)

Young man, in friendship I counsel:

Leave this place. The Duke misconstrues

Your valiant deeds shown in the ring.

 

Orlando:

(distractedly; shaking his hand again)

Thank you sir, and pray you, tell me this -

Which of the two is daughter

To the Duke?

 

Le Beau:

Both. The smaller girl,

Celia, of the current Duke:

The taller one, Rosalind,

Of the banished lord in the woods.

Sir, I bid please fare thee well.

In a world better than this one,

I desire more knowledge,

And a more perfect love of you.

(Le Beau exits. Orlando is alone; the lights contract to light only him.)

 

Orlando:

Thus must I go from

The smoke to the smother.

To the banished Duke

And his forestry world.

Forgotten brother

Go I from one to another

To live there exiled,

And by kind entreaty.

(touching his chest and Rosalind’s pendant)

But heavenly Rosalind,

To love you thus, I begin.

 

(Darkness – End of Scene Two)

         

 

Scene Three: “Thus to All Traitors”

(The tank room at ‘The Duke’s Winery’. Enter Rosalind followed hotly by Celia)

 

Celia:

Come, wrestle with thy affections.

 

Rosalind:

(raising her arms, and turning slowly)

He has wrestled by better parts.

 

Celia:

How is it possible,

That on such a sudden,

You should fall into so strong

A liking for a boy?

Rosalind:

(taking her hands)

How is it possible?

When on such a sudden,

Let me love him, and you too,

If only 'cause I do.

 

Celia:

Why, cousin? Say why Rosalind.

Cupid have mercy! Not a word?

 

Rosalind:

(sprinting around the steel tanks)

Not one. How full of briers is

This cold humdrum working-day world!

(together at recapitulation)

(Enter the Duke with Oliver skulking behind him.)

 

Duke:

Mistress, dispatch you with all

Your safest haste.

 

Rosalind:

Me, uncle?

 

Duke:

You, niece. Thus to all traitors,

Let it stand. I do not trust thee.

 

Rosalind:

Your mistrust alone my lord,

Does not me a traitor make.

 

Duke:

(approaching her, angered)

Thou art thy father’s daughter.

That’s enough!

(Duke and Oliver exit.)

 

Celia:

O my Rosalind,

Wither wilt we go away to?

 

Rosalind:

Your father hasn't banished thee.

 

Celia:

Hasn’t he, Rosalind?

Do you lack the love

Which teacheth me that thou

And I are now one?

Why, so who am I?

We still have slept together,

Rose at an instant

We learned, played, ate together.

Wherever we went

We were together, coupled,

Inseparable,

Intertwined heads of Juno’s swans.

Shall we be so sundered?

Shall we part, sweet girl?

No. Let my father seek

Some another heir.

(they embrace)

 

Rosalind:

Oh Celia, wither wilt we go?

 

Celia:

To seek my uncle in the woods.

 

Rosalind:

Alas, what danger will it be;

(striking a Marilyn Monroe pose)

Beauty goads thieves sooner than gold.

 

Celia:

I’ll put myself in different dress,

The like do you: and we shall pass.

 

Rosalind:

Were it not better, being tall,

That I did suit me on all points

To dress and act like a like a young man?

(striking a Bruce Lee pose)

With swashing and martial outside;

I'll look like many others do –

Manly as only cowards prove!

 

Celia:

What shall thee be called,

When thou art a man?

 

Rosalind:

I’ll have no worse a name

That Jove’s own darling boy;

Therefore, look you call me

Only sweet Ganymede!

But what will you be called?

 

Celia:

No more Celia, but Aliena!

Let’s away and get our jewels,

Gather our wealth together…

 

Rosalind:

…And devise the fittest time

And the safest way that we

May achieve our fondest wish…

 

Celia and Rosalind:

To liberty, not to banishment!

 

Darkness – End of Act One)

 

 

Act Two – The Golden World

Scene One: “Looked on Better Days”

(The rightful Duke’s camp, deep in the woods. Dappled sunlight filters down through golden-leaved aspen and willows. Action begins with the rightful Duke and double chorus of his faithful men extolling the pleasures of an exiled life as they ready their camp for a communal meal. The following double Chorus and Cavatina is constructed like this: Bass and Baritones perform their stanza once through alone, then the Tenors and Countertenors once. The Duke sings his Cavatina, and the recapitulation of the chorus is together.)

 

Bass and Baritones:

Sweet the use of adversity,

Which toad-like, ugly, venomous

Wears precious jewels on his head:

Some boundless good's in everything.

 

Tenors and Countertenors:

This life, exempt from public haunt;

Tongues in trees, books in running brooks,

Sermons in stones, seeks and there finds,

Some boundless good's in everything.

(together at recapitulation)

         

Duke:

Now, my co-mates,

My brothers in exile,

Has custom made

Life sweet without painted pomp.

As icy fang,

The seasons difference,

Bites my body,

It persuades me what I am.

 

(A horn sounds. Then men cheer. The hunting party returns with Amiens and the Two Boys in the vanguard. The boys carry his guitar. Two of the men come with a lug pole from which swings a dead buck.)

 

Duke:

(to Amiens)

How now, my lord of Amiens,

Where be that melancholy Jaques

You attend with steadfast love?

 

Amiens:

Today we spied a poor sequestered stag

 

Two boys: (imitating Amiens)

…a poor sequestered stag…

That from hunters' aim had taken a hurt.

The wretch heaved such groans and shed big round tears

Two boys:

…and shed such big round tears…

Single file down his innocent nose,

That it much marked our melancholy Jaques.

Two boys:

…our melancholy Jaques…

Said he ‘Yea, this is our life, usurpers

To the fauna fright and then kill them up

In their assigned and native dwelling place.

Two boys:

…and then kill them up.

 

(The entire ensemble slowly circles the stage with the deer. The Duke leads the deer and his men off stage for the prep and cooking with a recap of his Cavatina. Amiens takes his guitar, and shoos the Two Boys off. He sits on a rock and picks a melody that he hums. The Two Boys pretend to go, but really hide behind trees at camp. Alone, Amiens is quietly joined by Jaques, who slips up behind him, hugs him and kisses the side of his neck. Amiens stands, and they hug in easy intimacy, and settle down. Amiens discards his guitar and sits with his back against a tree. Jaques lies and rests his head on his lap. As Amiens sings his Cavatina, he gently strokes Jaques hair. The Two Boys, rootleing and tootleing in the trees, suppress giggles. The men smile to know they are there.)

           

Amiens:

Under the green wood tree,

Who loves to lie with me,

And turn his merry note

Unto the sweet bird’s throat.

Come hither, Come hither

Come hither, Come hither ye.

Two Boys:

Under the green wood tree

Come who loves to lie with he.

(together with Amiens)

 

Under the green wood tree,

Who loves to lie with me,

Here ‘neath this tree with me

Shall no enemy see.

He but gentle winter

And soothing rough weather be.

Two Boys:

Come hither, Come hither

Come hither, Come hither ye.

(together with Amiens)

 

Amiens and Two Boys:

Under the green wood tree,

Who loves to lie with me/he,

And turn his merry note

Unto the sweet bird’s throat.

Come hither, Come hither

Come hither, Come hither ye.

 

(Orlando bursts in from stage right, brandishing a hunting knife. Looking tired, hungry and haggard, his face is dirty, and his clothes unkempt,)

 

Orlando:

Forebear, and eat no more!

 

Jaques:

(jumping to his feet, holding out his hands. Amiens slowly rises afterwards)

Why, we have ete none yet.

 

Orlando:

See! I almost die for food;

So, let me have it!

 

Jaques:

Well young man, sit ye down and feed.

You are welcome to our table.

(Jacques motions to Amiens to fetch the large bowl of apples for Orlando.)

 

Orlando:

Speak you so gently? Pardon me,

I thought here all things were savage,

Under these melancholy boughs –

Neglect the creeping hours of time.

If you have looked on better days,

If you have sat at good men’s feasts,

If you have from eyelid wiped tears;

To know pity and see pity –

Then strong enforce my gentleness,

To blush and away hide my sword.

(sheathing his knife)

 

Jaques, Amiens, Two Boys:

True we have looked on better days,

True we have sat at good men’s feasts,

True we have wiped our eyes of tears,

Engendered by sacred pity.

 

(Amiens takes Orlando to the place he had just been sitting, and gives him an apple. Orlando ravenously bites into it, and eats throughout the following. The boys come forward and hang around Amiens as Jaques sings)

 

Amiens:

(to Orlando)

Thou see’st we are not alone

In any display unhappy:

The wide universal theater

Presents more woeful pageants

Than the scene in which we play.

 

Jaques:

All the world’s a stage,

And we but players,

With our exits and,

With our entrances.

We in time play many parts;

Our acts being seven ages.

At first the infant, mewling;

Schoolboy then, satchels on our backs,

Creeping off like snail to school;

Then lover, sighing like furnace,

And soldier, full of strange oaths,

Bearded, jealous, quick to quarrel;

And then the fair justice he,

Wise saws and modern instances.

The sixth age with spectacles,

Slippered with soft pouch on the side;

And last scene of all turns then,

Back to his second childhood,

Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans all good.

 

(We hear the return of the party bringing the food and wine for dinner. They parade around with steaming platters, making Orlando gasp.)

     

Bass and Baritones:

This life, exempt from public haunt;

Tongues in trees, books in running brooks,

Sermons in stones, seeks and there finds,

Some boundless good in everything.

 

Tenors and Countertenors:

Sweet the use of adversity,

Which toad-like, ugly, venomous

Wears precious jewels on his head:

Some boundless good in everything.

(together)

 

(During the chorus, the Duke arrives. Amiens presents Orlando to him, and the Duke welcomes him by slapping his shoulders with both hands, then begs him sit again. The men sit down to eat.)

 

(End of Scene One)

 

Scene Two: “Much upon my Fashion”

(The scene rotates from the heart of the woods to its edge. While the tree line remains at stage right, stage left opens to pasture land with stands of live oak in the distance. We see a gravel road turnoff with a large sign on a post: “Farm and pasture FOR SALE.” In the woods, letter sized pieces of paper are seen sticking on the tree trunks and on low hanging branches. Action begins with a tired looking Ganymede and Aliena entering from stage left.)

 

Ganymede:

O Jupiter, how weary

Flag all of my spirits.

(He sets the suitcases down. Aliena, stumbling over a clod in her heels, sits down on it.)

 

Aliena:

Bear with me sweet Ganymede,

(kicking off her shoes)

I can go no more.

 

Ganymede:

Courage Aliena, this is it.

Look you over there,

(pointing stage left),

A young shepherd comes.

(They scramble, picking up their things and hide in the trees.)

 

Silvius:

(singing to himself)

O, thou didst never love,

Not to remember folly,

That ever love ran to.

Thou hast not loved,

Or sing as I now do:

In lover’s praise.

Thou hast not loved,

To break sudden company:

Leave your friends cold.

Thou hast not loved

O Phebe, O Phebe,

Thou hast not loved.

 

(Silvius exits. Ganymede and Aliena return to the open.)

 

Ganymede:

Jove, Jove! This shepherd’s passion

Is much upon my fashion.

(to Aliena; running to the sign)

Buy thou the cottage, pasture and the flock,

And thou shall have the pay for it of us.

 

Aliena:

And will mend thy wages. I like this place.

(taking down the sign)

And willingly could waste my time in it.

 

(The two join hands and hop up and down, until Aliena wordlessly reminds Ganymede to be more butch. Gany hikes up his pants, sniffs, kicks his stance akimbos, and wipes his nose with the entire length of his arm. He then goes back to the tree line to fetch their suitcases. As he does so, he spots a piece of paper tacked to a tree trunk. First he reads it in situ, then rips it down and brings it back to Aliena.)

 

Ganymede:

(reading out loud with elaborate hand gestures)

Her worth, mounted on the wind,

Through the world bears Rosalind!

All the pictures fairest lined,

Are but blank to Rosalind!

Let no face be kept in mind,

But the fair of Rosalind!

 

Aliena:

I can rhyme you better: here goes,

Now you’ll have the taste of it!

 

He that sweetest Rose will find,

Finds love’s prick in Rosalind!

Winter garments must be lined,

So too slender Rosalind!

Sweetest nut hath sourest rind,

Such a nut, is Rosalind!

 

This is very false gallop verse,

Why infect yourself so with them?

 

Ganymede:

Peace dull fool. I found them on a tree.

 

Aliena:

Then truly, that tree only yields

Rotten fruit. Trow you, who's done this?

 

Ganymede:

(wiping his nose again)

I only suspect, it's a man…

 

(Enter Orlando at the tree line, looking clean again, in white tank top and shirt tied around his waist. Trailing behind him is Jaques.)

 

Aliena:

…With your chain worn about his neck!

 

Orlando:

(Orlando tacks a piece of paper to a tree.)

Hang there, in witness of my love.

With chase eye from pale sphere above.

O Rosalind! These trees, my books

That ever eye in the woods looks.

Orlando carve on every tree,

The inexpressible of she.

(Orlando turns to find Jaques leaning against a tree, and ogling him in uncomfortably proximity.)

 

Jaques:

I thank you for your company, but,

I'd rather been myself, alone.

 

(Orlando takes Jaques’ interest as a compliment. He puts one hand on Jaq’s tree near his head, then leans in teasingly close to the older man's mouth)

 

Orlando:

As for your company, I do hope…

That in the future days and weeks,

We grow to be…better strangers.

(Orlando chucks and goes about his postings. Jacques huffs and flicks one.)

 

Jaques:

I pray you, mar no more trees

With false love songs such as these.

 

Orlando:

I pray you, mar no more verse

With your jaded readings terse.

 

Jaques:

Rosalind's your beloved's name?

(Orlando is losing patients. He comes up to Jaq aggressively to confront him.)

 

Orlando:

As you read; the one and the same.

 

Jaques:

What stature she?

(Jaq tentatively reaches out his hand, and gently stroking Orlando’s bare arm.)

 

Orlando:

Just as high as my heart.

(Gany and Aliena, grab hands and swoon. Orlando slowly extends the arm Jaq is touching him with and momentarily holds his hand. He lets it fall flat.)

 

Jaques:

You have a nimble wit, young man.

Say if you will sit with me.

(Orlando gives a half-sad, half-longing look, and slowly shakes his head)

I’ll tarry no longer here –

Good luck, my good Signor Love.

(Jaques bows; exits. Ganymede hikes up his pants, and going over to Orlando).

     

Ganymede:

I pray you, what is it o’clock?

(Gany stretches his hands straight to the bottom of his pants pockets and looks well-pleased. He glances at Aliena with winking.)

 

Orlando:

You should ask me what time o’day:

There are no clocks in the forest.

 

Ganymede:

(Ganymede goes all out on his masculinity – throwing jabs at Orlando's chest.)

Then in the woods you're no true lover!

Else every sigh the seconds

Would inform you of the time of day.

 

Orlando:

And where dwell you, my pretty youth?

(Gany points to Aliena, who’s now sitting on a suitcase, and pretending to be on the phone)

 

Ganymede:

With this shepherdess, my sister,

Out here on the skirts of the woods –

Like fringe on some girl's petticoat.

(realizing his analogy is 'girly,' he spits and re-punches Orlando)

But are you so much in love

As all your rhymes seem to speak?

 

Orlando:

Neither rhyme nor reason,

Can tell how much.

 

Ganymede:

Love is merely madness,

And thus deserves,

A dark house and a whip –

As madmen do.

The reason they are not

Punished and cured

Is that the whippers too –

Are all in love.

Yet, I profess curing

It by counsel.

 

Orlando:

Did you ever cure one –

Out of his love?

 

Ganymede:

One. He imagined me

His love and came

Every day to woo me:

I drove my man

Far from his mad humor

Of love to a loving humor

Of dull madness,

By which it’s clear to say,

Back into the main stream

Of all the world.

 

Orlando:

I would not be cured, youth.

 

Ganymede:

I would have you cured, youth.

But call me Rosalind,

And come to me each day

To love and to woo me.

 

Orlando:

(with each repetition, he wavers)

I would not be cured, youth.

I would not be cured, youth.

I would not be cured, youth.

(together at recapitulation)

 

Orlando:

(with newfound steadfastness)

By the faith of my love

I will test and show,

No one can shake it free,

For love true madness be!

(exit Orlando)

 

Ganymede:

(floating over to Aliena, who is now standing, slack jawed)

O Coz, Coz, Coz, my pretty Coz,

How many fathoms am I in love!

My affection cannot be sound –

Just like the bay of Portugal.

(the following takes the form of a reverse rondo, that is two fast strophes bound by a concluding slow one)

No, that same wicked bastard,

Begot by thought of Venus,

Conceived of spleen: born madness,

Cupid, blind, rascally boy.

I let you fathom my love,

I let you abuse my eyes,

Seeing him but perfect,

Sounding him but deepest.

I tell you dear, Aliena,

I must have him in my sight,

I’ll go and find his shadow,

Till time sighs him back to me.

 

(Darkness – End of Scene Two)

 

[If used, insert Part One of the Intermezzo – Touchstone]

 

(INTERMISSION)

 

Scene Three: “Sudden Power to Fancy”

(Same as above. Ganymede is sitting alone at the tree line with a book. Enter Phebe stage left walking intently and pursued by Silvius.)

 

Silvius:

Sweet Phebe, do not scorn me so.

Do not. Say you love me not,

But do not so in bitterness.

 

Phebe:

(she turns on him: she’s had enough)

I flee thee, for I'd not hurt thee.

Thou say there's murder in mine eye:

Now, here, let me frown on thee,

And if mine eyes can wound, then now,

Let them kill! So, show the wound l've made.

 

Silvius:

If ever – as that ever –

May someday be to you near,

You meet within some fresh cheek

Sudden power to fancy,

Then shall you know the heart-wounds

That love’s keen arrows can make.

 

Phebe:

But till that time,

Come not thou near me.

When comes that time,

Come then with thy mocks.

Pity me not,

I pity not thee.

 

Silvius:

Still till that time,

I’ll keep you near me.

When you love in time,

You’ll pain of thy mocks.

O dear Phebe,

Take pity on me.

(Ganymede comes up hotly behind Phebe.)

 

Ganymede:

And who might your mother be?

That at once you insult and exult

Over the poor wretched young man!

(hands on hips, then making a simultaneous head and finger snap)

What though, you have no beauty,

And that's by my faith, so you must

Be both proud and pitiless?

(Phebe is angered, yet intrigued.)

Why, what means this? Why do you stare?

(to Silvius)

I think she means to damage me too!

(shaking his head)

Foolish Silvius, why hunt her?

Tis not her glass, but you, flatters her.

(to Phebe)

Down on your knees, and thank heaven

For a good man’s love. Love him,

And take in good faith his offer.

(Ganymede exits into the woods with Phebe’s eyes following the whole. She touches her chin.)

 

Silvius:

(after a pause and throat clearing)

Sweet Phebe…

 

Phebe:

(forgetting he was there)

Ha, what says thou…

…Silvius?

 

ilvius:

(on one knee)

Phebe, pity me.

 

Phebe:

(patting him on the head absentmindedly)

Why, I'm sorry for thee, Silvius.

(laughing like a loon)

The way he act, is that not neighborly…

 

ilvius:

I would have you!

 

Phebe:

(not hearing him, trying to seem disinterested while saying)

…Know you the youth,

The that spoke to me erstwhile?

 

Silvius:

(standing)

Not well, but I have met him past:

He hath bought the cottage and bounds.

 

Phebe:

(tempest-tossed)

Think not that I love him,

Though I ask for him;

Tis but a peevish boy,

Though he talks him well;

But care I for words?

Yet, his words do swell.

He is a pretty youth,

But not overly;

Sure but he’s proud, and yet,

Fetching is proudful youth;

Sure his tongue is sharp,

But his eyes healed it up.

(accepting it)

His lips are pretty redness,

Mingled damask there in his looks,

To wrap and pull me into love,

Though more cause I have to hate him.

 

Why, I will write him a letter,

A very taunting, sharp letter

And thou, Silvius, wilt bear it –

You will do that, for me, won’t you?

 

Silvius:

Phebe my love, with all my heart.

 

Phebe:

(not listening to him)

I’ll write it straight.

(suddenly looking directly into Sil’s eyes and taking him by both hands)

But, dear Shepherd,

Now I find thy old saw of might,

‘Who ever loved, if not at first sight?’

(Phebe exits, skipping.)

 

Silvius:

(to himself)

My love so holy and perfect,

And I in poverty of grace,

I shall think it plenteous crop,

That after the main harvest reaped,

A broken ear remains to me.

Loose now and then a scattered smile,

And sweet Phebe, on it I’ll live.

 

(exit Silvius – End of Scene Three)

         

Scene Four: “Earthquake of the Heart”

(Same as above. Re-enter Ganymede being hotly chased by Jaques.)

 

Jaques:

Let me be better acquainted myself

With thee, dear hot-footed youth.

 

Ganymede:

(stopping, deciding to play with him)

They say you are melancholy.

 

Jaques:

I am. For me, I love it more

Than shedding false tears on laughter.

(taking Gany’s hand)

See? It is better to be sad,

And say nothing, when words won't do.

 

Ganymede:

(extracting his hand)

Why, then tis best of all be

A wordless post, stuck in the mud.

  

Jaques:

Neither scholar’s melancholy,

Which is emulation;

Nor that of a stringing musician’s,

Which is fantastical

Animate my sundry actions.

A compound of many simples

Extracted from objects

And the people of my travels

Bind me tight in the wraps

Of a most humorous sadness.

Mine is not that of a lady,

Which is bound to be nice,

Nor too of a lover’s, which is

Bound to be all of these.

My melancholy is my own.

(During the final stanza, Orlando appears at the tree line. Ganymede runs to him, leaving Jaq alone to finish. Gany takes Orlando by the hands and leads him out into the open. Jaq dejectedly drifts off)

 

[Act Two Finale – Part 1]

Orlando:

See? I come to you, and within

An hour of my first promise.

(Ganymede coldly drops Orlando's hands, turning his back to him, and folding his arms in mock anger.)

 

Ganymede:

Well! You be so late, and tardy,

Come no more in my sight, ruffian.

(Orlando comes up to Gany from behind. He slowly winds his arms around the youth's folded limbs. He leans down and caresses Ganymede's neck with his lips.)

 

Orlando:

I beg your most humble pardon,

My own dear, sweetest, Rosalind.

(Gany's neck falls to the side away from him, so Orlando kisses Gany with tender long strokes of his lips. Aliena enters from stage left. She is unseen by the couple.)

 

Aliena:

O lord, lord; it is hard matter

For friends to meet like this!

And yet, mountains may be removed

Through the power of love!

(Gany slowly rotates within Orlando’s arms to face him.)

 

Ganymede:

Come woo me, for now I am

Enough in holiday humor

And like to grant some consent.

(Orlando kisses him passionately while Aliena repeats her ‘O lord…’ stanza.)

 

Orlando:

I would kiss before I speak.

(Gany makes an effort to push at Orlando’s shoulders.)

 

Ganymede:

How if the kiss be denied?

(Orlando pulls him in close again, and recaps the passionate kissing while Aliena sings the following:)

 

Aliena:

O wonderful, most wonderful

For friends to meet like this!

The earthquake of the heart doth shake

Through the power of love!

 

[Finale – Part 2]

Ganymede:

(extracting himself)

No Orlando, men are all

Moist April when they woo

But chill December when they wed.

(seeing and going to Aliena)

Clear the May blue sky above

Feel women when first wooed,

Drippy January when wed.

 

Orlando:

(slowly circling them)

But will my Rosalind feel so?

Ganymede:

Yea, she will feel as I do now.

 

Orlando:

(taking a hand)

I would not have my Rosalind

Of this mind. Her frown would kill me.

 

Ganymede:

(circling with him)

By this hand of mine within yours,

My sweet frown, could not harm a fly.

 

Orlando:

Then love me Rosalind

 

Ganymede:

Fridays and Saturdays…

 

Orlando:

And wilt thou have me now?

 

Ganymede:

Ay, and a twenty such…

 

Orlando:

What say you Rosalind?

 

Ganymede:

That you are very good…

 

Orlando:

But will my Rosalind feel so?

           

Ganymede:

Yea, she will feel as I do now.

 

[Finale – Part 3]

Orlando:

(to Aliena)

Come now, sweet sister,

Pray thee, marry us.

(The young men genuflect, facing each other, and hold left to right hands as Aliena stands behind them.)

 

Aliena:

Time is the justice,

So let time try all.

Will you Orlando take,

Your beloved to be spouse?

Orlando:

With all my heart I will.

Will you Rosalind take?

Will you Rosalind take,

Your beloved to be spouse?

Rosalind:

With all my heart I will.

Will you Orlando take?

 

All:

O wonderful, most wonderful

For friends to meet like this!

The earthquake of the heart doth shake

Through the power of love!

Time is the justice,

So let time try all.

(Orlando picks up Ganymede bride-style. They kiss)

 

(Darkness – End of Act Two)

 

[If used, insert Part Two of the Intermezzo – Touchstone]

 

Act Three – The World in Balance

Scene One: “With Bow and Song”

(Deep in the forest. A stag lies dead stage center. The action starts with the hunting party starting to sing the following hunting song off-stage. Amiens leads the men with hunting bow in his hand. The Two Toys follow last, one toting his guitar, the other a quiver of arrows.)

 

Chorus of Hunters:

(trampling in from stage left)

The horn, the horn, the lusty horn,

Is not a thing to laugh and scorn.

(Amiens stops when he sees the dead stag, the men gather around him, the boys run to the front. Jaques pushes his way through.)

 

Jaques:

Which is he that killed the deer?

 

Amiens:

It was I, with bow and song!

(he gestures to the boys, who raise their charges above their heads in triumph)

(Jaques jovially goes up to Amiens and puts his right hand across his back to grip Amiens’ right shoulder. He pats his chest with his left hand.)

 

Jaques:

We’ll present him to the Duke,

That like a Roman conqueror,

His horns as laurel branches,

Shall crown his head in victory.

(Amiens exchanges his bow with the boy for the guitar, and puts its strap over his head. During the following double cavatina and divided chorus, the men strap the stag to a lug pole and parade around the stage. The Two Boys are in the lead.)

 

Amiens:

What shall we have that killed the deer?

His leather, skin and horns to wear.

Then sing him home!

 

Bass and Baritones:

The horn, the horn, the lusty horn.

Is not a thing to laugh and scorn.

The horn, the horn, the lusty horn.

 

Tenors and Countertenors:

Is not a thing to laugh and scorn.

The horn, the horn, the lusty horn.

Is not a thing to laugh and scorn.

 

Amiens:

Take thou no scorn to wear the horn,

(making a gesture to Jaq’s crotch)

It was a crest ere thou was born.

Then sing him home!

 

Two boys:

Thy father’s father did ware it,

And thy father proudly bore it!

 

Bass and Baritones:

The horn, the horn, the lusty horn.

Is not a thing to laugh and scorn.

 

Tenors and Countertenors:

Is not a thing to laugh and scorn.

The horn, the horn, the lusty horn.

(All exit.)

 

 

Scene Two: “A Marriage of True Minds”

(The scene rotates from the heart of the woods to its edge. Ganymede and Aliena are waiting for Orlando to keep his appointment, but he is late.)

 

Ganymede:

How say you now? Past two o’clock,

And where be my sweet Orlando?

I prithee, tell me quick Aliena –

Take the cork out of thy mouth,

And pour this man out of thy mouth

That I may drink his warm tidings.

 

Aliena:

And put a man in your belly – ?

I warrant with pure love for you,

And with troubled brain, that he hath

Taken up bow to join fellow

Comrades in the venison hunt.

But tell my 'sweet' Ganymede,

What manner of lover is he?

 

Ganymede:

(feigning modesty, fanning her face with a hand)

Good my complexion! Dost thou think

I have a doublet and hose

Down here, at my disposal?

(making a hand-job gesture)

One inch of delay more would

A true South-sea voyage of rare,

And very brave discovery.

(swooning)

But his kissing is as pure

As the touch of holy bread’s

Sanctity upon these lips.

 

Aliena:

(mockingly)

Yea, He hath bought a cast pair

Of holy Diana's lips.

 

Ganymede:

(trying to trap Aliena)

Do you not feel his hair

Is of the dissembling color?

Aliena:

(taking the bait)

Yes, but something coarser I trow

Than Judas – his kisses the same.

Ganymede:

In truth, his hair is of good color!

Aliena:

(appeasing)

An excellent color – but for me

Your chestnut was ever only
The color sunk deep in my heart.

Oh, he’s a brave man!

He writes brave verses,

Speaks brave words and swears

Brave oaths of loving –

And breaks them bravely too.

Quite traverse, athwart,
The heart of his love is,

(making slow and exaggerated hip thrusts)

But all's brave that youth mounts

And that silly folly guides.

But in truth, who comes here now?

 

(enter Silvius holding a letter, and going right up to Ganymede)

 

Silvius:

My errand is to you, fair youth.

Here see a letter to you from

My gentle Phebe. I know not

What be the contents, but I guess…

(snickering)

…It bears an right angry tenor.

 

Ganymede:

(reading)

‘If the scorn of your bright eyne,

Hast power to raise such love in mine –

Alack, in me what strange effect

Would they work in mild aspect!

He that brings this love to thee

Little would suspect this love in me.

Will thou the faithful offer take?

Or shun all that I can make?

Or else say by him my love deny,

So I might then study how to die!’

 

Her love is not the hare I hunt

Why writes she so to me?

This letter is your own device!

 

Silvius:

Call you this chiding, Phebe dear?

Call you this railing him?

Love letter was your own device!

 

Ganymede:

Tell her, ‘I charge you to love him

That loves thee all the more;

For I’ll none have that won’t have he.’

(Silvius exits. Enter Oliver de Boys from the forest. He pulls out a soiled bandana.)

 

Oliver:

Orlando doth commend himself

To both your gentle persons true –

And to the handsome youth he calls

His Rosalind, he sends you this –

A bandage bloodied with his own.

Are you the young man that he means?

(Suddenly Oliver recognizes Celia, and she abashes.)

 

Ganymede:

I am. But by this token red,

What must we understand by this?

 

Oliver:

When last Orlando parted you,

While stalking through the forest dark,

He chanced to throw his eyes aside,

When an object did present itself.

In an oak tree, deep mossed with age,

Top bald with dry antiquity,

A wretch lay sleeping on his back,

A green snake wreathed around his neck.

Seen, Orlando approached the man,

Found it was his elder brother,

Who, unnatural had oft times

Sought to seek that Orlando dead.

Twice did Orlando turn his back,

But kindness, nobler that revenge

Made him give battle with the snake,

While from my slumber I awaked.

There upon his arm, the snake had

Torn away some of his sweet flesh,

But being strong of heart, he sent

Me hither - stranger that I am.

I came to tell this sad story;

Excuse to his broken promise,

And give this napkin, dyed in blood,

Unto his own fair shepherd youth.

(Oliver presents a bloodied bandana on bent knee to Ganymede. Gany grabs it and quickly runs into the woods.)

 

Aliena:

(calling after him, but not leaving)

How now, Ganymede?

(looking at Oliver, her tone loosing volume)

Oh, Sweet Ganymede..!

 

Oliver:

Celia? And is that

Cousin, Rosalind?

 

Aliena:

(feebly)

No...

 

Oliver:

For Celia, I did love you,

The moment at your father’s house

Mine eyes laid upon your own.

Ceila?

 

Aliena:

No...

 

Oliver:

(slowly circling her, hand outstretched)

For Celia, I did love you,

The moment at your father’s house

Mine eyes laid upon your own.

Ceila?

 

Aliena:

(taking his hand)

Yes Oliver, I did love you

The moment at my father’s house

Mine eyes laid upon your own.

Oliver!

 

Aliena and Oliver:

(slowly circling together)

Not the giddiness of it,

Or our small acquaintance –

Sudden wooing, sudden consent –

I love you Ceila/Oliver

We’ll have the enjoyment of it.

 

(The scene rotates to the heart of the woods. Ganymede finds Orlando recuperating, sitting leaning up against a tree. He drops to his knees at the sight of him, bloody bandana in hand, and hugs him around the waist. Orlando, strokes and kisses his hair.)

 

Ganymede:

(Gany turns to look at him and strokes the pendant on Orlando’s chest)

Oh, my dear Orlando,

How it grieves me to see

Thee wear thy heart in a scarf.

 

Orlando:

Ay, but with thine kind eyes -

(he reaches down, puts his hands on Ganymede’s cheeks and brings Gany’s lips to his own)

Say, dear youth, you have won,

Not out of love’s madness,

But from madness of love.

 

Ganymede:

But marry Rosalind –

For magic I can work,

And present her tonight,

Ready to receive you.

Orlando and Ganymede:

Wounded hearts though they be

No counterfeit swoon make –

Any two in love be

A marriage of true minds.

 

(Enter Silvius and Phebe trailed later by Aliena and Oliver.)

 

Phebe:

Youth! You've done me much ungentleness.

 

Ganymede:

(helping Orlando to his feet, and saying to him as an aside)

Look, here’s a lover of mine,

Behind, a lover of hers.

(to Phebe)

I care not if I have,

Look, you are followed by

(spinning her)

Good and faithful shepherd.

 

Phebe:

(to Silvius)

Tell this youth what it

Is to be in love.

 

Silvius:

(to Phebe’s back as she faces Ganymede)

It is to be all.

Of all fantasy;

All made of passion,

Of duty and faith;

All made of wishes,

Of all humbleness;

All adoration,

Of all endurance;

All of deservings.

And so I am for Phebe.

 

Phebe:

And so am I for Gany.

 

Ganymede:

And so am I, Orlando.

 

Orlando:

And so am I, Rosalind.

 

Aliena and Oliver:

And so am I for Celia/Oliver.

 

Ganymede:

Pray you, no more of this.

Tonight I will help you all.

(to Phebe)

I’d love you, if I could,

And marry you tonight.

But condition must make –

If not me, then Silvius!

(Phebe nods excitedly)

(to Orlando)

Satisfy you I will,

And marry you tonight,

But condition must make –

If not me, then Rosalind!

(he nods)

(to Aliena and Oliver)

Attend to you I will,

Your marriage see tonight,

But condition must make –

Not none, if not each other!

(they nod)

 

All:

It is to be all.

Of all fantasy;

All made of passion,

Of duty and faith;

All made of wishes,

Of all humbleness;

All adoration,

Of all endurance;

All of deservings!

 

Silvius:

And so am I for Phebe.

 

Phebe:

And so am I for Gany.

 

Ganymede:

And so am I, Orlando.

 

Orlando:

And so am I, Rosalind.

 

Aliena and Oliver:

And so am I for Celia/Oliver.

 

(Darkness – End of Scene Two)

 

 

Scene Three: “Two by Two to the New Ark”

(The scene rotates to the Duke’s camp in heart of the woods. It is evening time, and every tree is strung and lit with small white festive paper lanterns. There is a high point stage center, from which first Amiens and the two boys appear, then later, one from around each side, Ceila and Rosalind. The Two Boys, dressed as attendants to the Greek god of marriage, each carry two flower garlands in their extended arms. Two flower wreaths hang from each wrist. The action begins as the Duke and his men drift on stage, followed by the men to be married and Phebe, who gather before the high area. The boys appear and lead a procession for Amiens dressed as the ancient god Hymen. His guitar is still on his back, but he carries two slender lit torches resting on his waist.)

 

Two Boys:

Then is there mirth in heaven,

When earthly things made even,

That might join one hand in his,

Whose heart in his bosom is.

 

Hymen:

(placing his torches in stands, then extending his hands. From either direction enters Celia and Rosalind. To the Duke)

Good Duke, receive thy daughter –

Hymen from heaven hath brought her.

 

Duke:

If there be truth in sight,

You are my daughter.

 

Orlando:

If there be truth in sight,

You are my Rosalaind.

 

Phebe:

If sight and shape be true,

Why then – My love adieu.

   

Hymen:

Good Duke, receive they good niece –

Hymen from heaven hath brought her.

 

Duke:

If there be truth in sight,

You are my fair niece.

 

Oliver:

If there be truth in sight,

You are my true Celia.

 

Phebe:

(taking Silvius by the hands)

If sight and shape be true,

Why then – My love, I do.

Rosalind:

I’ll have no father,

If you be not he.

Phebe, Ceila and Rosalind:

I’ll have no husband,

If you be not he.

Silvius, Oliver and Orlando:

I’ll have no partner,

If you be not she.

(Each couple genuflects facing each other. Hymen and the boys visit each pair as they sing the scene below: Hymen marries them by taking wreaths, crowing their heads, then he wraps a garland around their joined hands.)

 

Two Boys:

Wedding is great Juno’s crown –

O Blessed bond of board and bed!

Tis Hymen peoples every town –

High wedlock, then, be honored!

 

Chorus of Men:

Honor, high honor, and renowned,

To Hymen, god of every town!

    

Hymen:

(to Ceila and Oliver)

You and you are heart and heart,

You and you no cross shall part.

(to Phebe and Silvius)

You are sure together,

As winter and foul weather.

(to Rosalind and Orlando)

You to her love must accord,

Or have a youth to your lord.

     

Two Boys:

Wedding is great Juno’s crown –

O Blessed bond of board and bed!

Tis Hymen peoples every town –

High wedlock, then, be honored!

 

Chorus of Men:

Honor, high honor, and renound,

To Hymen, god of every town!

 

Jaques:

There is sure another flood,

And these couples are coming,

Two by two to the new ark.

I am for other measures.

(makes to leave)

 

Amiens:

You would quit the side of your dear?

 

Jaques:

I am for measures other than

The kind spread bare at nuptials.

 

Amiens:

(extending an arm with open palm to Jaques; he holds one more garland)

Stay, Jaques stay – there's one more right here.

 

Jaques:

(giving his hand to Amiens, wiping a tear with the length of his sleeve)

What you would have amends me know,

I'll give you, and I will not go.

(Amiens leads Jaques to the center of the stage where the boys are. They genuflect as the others, and hold hands. Each boy places a wreath on their heads, then together wrap a garland around their hands. All couples lean in for a kiss – All action freezes.)

 

Rosalind:

(She and Orlando quickly rise, all smiles, and rush to the front of the stage. They still hold their flower-wrapped hands together.)

It’s not the fashion to see,

The lady as epilogue.

My way is to conjure you.

I’ll begin with the women –

For the love you bear your men,

And men, that you bear your loves –

Do like as much of this play

As may comfortably please,

And the rest excuse as variety.

For if I was a woman,

(punches Orlando in the shoulder)

I’d kiss just as many beards,

As I liked and fancied me!

But perhaps as I am, many would yet desire me.

 

(Action unfreezes – Orlando picks up Rosalind and spins her. All couples kiss as the chorus sings, and begin to dance.)

 

Two Boys:

Then is there mirth in heaven,

When earthly things made even,

That might join one hand in his,

Whose heart in his bosom is.

 

Base Chorus:

Wedding is great Juno’s crown –

O Blessed bond of board and bed!

 

Treble chorus:

Tis Hymen peoples every town –

High wedlock, then, be honored!

 

Base Principals:

Honor, high honor, and renowned!

 

Treble Principals:

To Hymen, god of every town!

 

All:

For is there mirth in heaven,

When earthly things made even,

That might join one hand in his,

Whose heart in his bosom is.

(A final kiss, and all shout for joy!)

 

(Darkness – Fine di Opera)

 

---

 

 

Intermezzo – Touchstone

Part One – Jove in a Thatched House

Scene One: “A Waste of Ingredients”

(Deep in the woods, where dappled sunlight filters down through golden-leaved aspen and willows. Everything looks fresh and untouched by man. The action starts with the Two Boys carousing. Enter Audrey, alone. The boys hide behind trees.)

 

Audrey:

Country life versus life at court!

"Life at court;" Oh, it sounds profound.

Faith, I know all about my flocks –

But then, nothing about "flocking;"

All about sheering of the fleece –

But then, nothing about "fleecing."

I long to be out in the world,

And that rough-pated fool, Touchstone,

Will take me where I want to go.

 

o be out within the world wide,

And to know grace on every side –

Oh – I do desire it with all my heart,

Knowing it plays not a dishonest part.

This elevating desire,

To be a woman of the world,

Can but take me to heights higher,

Like the hair on a lady's head curled!

 

If he be the one,

Who can take me to –

The city, lord – the city,

O how happy will I say

A hearty 'yes' to his merry

‘Wilt thou have poor me?’!

 

(Enter Touchstone, in a flashy suite, tripping over roots and foliage – which make the boys giggle. Audrey stands her ground. She is not impressed.)

 

Audrey:

Hast ye taken care of my goats –

As thee said thou would? Touchstone!

(Touchstone shakes goat hair off his jacket labels. He sniffs his hands and recoils making a "pee-yuu" face.)

 

Touchstone:

Come apace, good my dear, Audrey –

I have fetched up your goats, Audrey –

(And smell a might goaty for it)

So tell me – How Now, sweet Audrey –

Am I the man yet, my Audrey?

(Audrey shrugs her shoulders.)

 

Touchstone:

Do my manly features content?

 

Audrey:

Your features! You great city man,

Lord warrant us from such features!

 

Touchstone:

Oh, but sweet country girl, you see

I am here with thee and thy goats

As that most horny old poet –

One Ovid by name – was among

The sheep-skin-wearing, savage Goths.

   

First Boy:

(aside)

O knowledge,

O how ill-inhabited.

 

Second Boy:

(aside)

Worst than Jove,

Smoking hot in a thatched house!

(The boys giggle. Touchstone raises shoulders in surprise, then turns profile to see the brats. He proceeds like they were not there.)

 

Touchstone:

Look thou Audrey, when a man’s verse

Can't be understood, or his wit,

(covertly pointing out the kids to Audrey)

Like great thunder in a little room,

(he stamps his foot, the boys laugh)

Is second to a forward child,

(Audrey tips her head to say she didn’t get that)

Truly, I would the gods had

Made thee poetical.

 

Audrey:

Why do you fancy me so much?

 

Touchstone:

Why does the sky love the soft clouds;

The turbid mud, the pure water;

Or the hog, his slop? Attraction!

(Audrey looks both lost and a little repulsed. The Two Boys laugh. Touchstone comes up behind her. He gently slips his arms around her waist.)

 

Touchstone:

Truly, I would the gods had

Made thee poetical.

 

Audrey:

I do not know what that word

Poetical should mean.

 

Touchstone:

The truest poetry is

Most feigning in its love.

 

First Boy:

(aside)

O knowledge,

O how ill-inhabited.

 

Second Boy:

(aside)

Worst than Jove,

Smoking hot in a thatched house!

 

Audrey:

Would you not have me honest?

 

Touchstone:

Honesty coupled to beauty,

Is honey made sauce to sugar –

And thou art plenty sweet enough.

 

Two Boys:

Sounds a waste of ingredients.

 

Touchstone:

I will marry thee Audrey,

And to that end here I bring

The vicar from the next village.

 

Truly, I would the gods had

Made thee poetical.

 

Audrey:

I do not know what that word

Poetical should mean.

 

Touchstone:

The truest poetry is

Most feigning in its love.

 

First Boy:

(aside)

O knowledge,

O how ill-inhabited.

 

Second Boy:

(aside)

Worst than Jove,

Smoking hot in a thatched house!

 

(Enter Vicar as an old man, stooped, hard of both hearing and sight.)

 

Vicar:

(addressing a tree)

Is there none here to give way the woman?

(Touchstone turns him around)

Is there none here to give way the woman?

(pointing to Touchstone)

 

Touchstone:

I’ll not have her as gift of any man.

(The Two Boys bound forward.)

 

First Boy:

Proceed.

I'll give her away!

 

Second Boy:

Proceed.

I'll give some sway!

 

Touchstone:

(to one) Good even.

(to the other) Good master,

What-ye-called?

What-ye-called?

I’m glad to see to see you,

Even with toy in hand.

 

First Boy:

(grabbing Touchstone’s lapel and bring him down to eye level)

Will you be married now, Motley?

 

Second Boy:

(yanking his other lapel)

Let me warn thee of a rival!

 

First Boy:

Indeed.

He'll give her away!

 

Second Boy:

Indeed.

He'll give her some sway!

 

Touchstone:

(straightening up, looking consternated)

Farewell, good master Vicar!

(giving him to the boys to escort off stage)

Wind away. Be gone I say!

(to the crestfallen Audrey)

Tomorrow is the joyful day.

Tomorrow we'll make our wedding say.

 

Audrey:

(as she sings, the boys return)

It is not dishonest desire

For to a worldly woman to aspire.

 

Two Boys:

(skipping around the couple, singing in canonic fashion)

Like honey made sauce to sugar,

Thou wooing is likely to cook her!

 

(Darkness – End of Intermezzo Part One)

 

 

Intermezzo – Touchstone

Part Two – A Lover and his Lass

Scene One: “You Lovely Bully”

(Deep in the woods, same as in Part One. The action starts with Audrey pursuing Touchstone.)

 

Audrey:

But how now, my urban Touchstone;

The priest was good enough for us,

Despite those wicked, raucous boys.

(Touchstone melts. He confronts her.)

 

Touchstone:

Audrey dear, we shall find a time.

Patience shall be our linking bond,

But, are ye claimed by a forest-youth?

(Audrey exhibits a faint and feigning recognition.)

 

Audrey:

Ay, I know who it is you mean.

And bless me, here comes the man now.

(The Rival enters. He is a bashful bumpkin that Touchstone can run in circles.)

 

Rival:

Good even, Audrey.

(Touchstone steps between them, and moves the Rival bodily away from Audrey.)

 

Touchstone:

Good even!

Gentle friend, say, how old are you?

 

Rival:

Five and twenty, sir.

 

Touchstone:

A ripe age!

T’wast born In the forest 'round here?

 

Rival:

Aye, sir, I thank God.

 

Touchstone:

Art thou wise?

Say, do you love this maiden here?

 

Rival:

Aye, sir, I have me a quick wit;

And I do love Audrey dearly.

(Enter the Two Boys. During the following patter section. They romp around the men and laugh.)

 

Touchstone:

I remember a saying:

‘The fool doth think he’s wise;

The wise knows what a fool he is.’

I must marry this woman,

Therefore, clown, abandon:

(towering over him)

The wise knows what a fool he is.

Clown, abandon –

Which in the vulgar – leave

The society –

Which in the boorish – company

Of this female –

Which is common woman – Or

Thou perishest

Which you understand – die

Or make thee away –

Translate life to death –

Poison thee, or run thee in steel –

I will kill thee

A hundred and fifty ways

Therefore – Tremble and depart.

(The Rival stumbles off, not taking his eyes off Touchstone trying not to laugh. He exchanges winks with Audrey who tries not to laugh too.)

 

Touchstone:

Tonight, sweet Audrey, we’ll be wed,

And married by the Duke, I swear!

(Touchstone picks up Audrey and they spin. She squeals)

 

First Boy:

Well met, Oh you lovely bully!

 

Second Boy:

We're all for you, O brave Touchstone!

(Setting Audrey down, Touchstone slaps the boys’ shoulders.)

 

Touchstone:

By my troth, well met my fine lads!

Let your voices raise us a song,

But not like last time, whose sour note

Was very un-tunable.

 

First Boy:

You are deceived, sir. We kept time…

 

Second Boy:

So we believed; lost not out time!

 

Touchstone:

By my troth, yes; I count it but

Time lost to hear such foolish song.

(Halfway through the following Cavatina, the boys bid the couple kneel facing each other and hold hands. They crown their heads with flower wreaths and bind their hands with a flower garland. In the song, the first boy establishes a ground over which the second boys sings his verse. They switch roles for the second verse, then sing the last one together.)

 

First Boy:

With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino,

With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino,

With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino,

With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino!

Second Boy:

It was a lover and his lass,

That o’er the green corn-field did pass,

Between the acres of the rye,

These pretty country-folk would lie.

 

With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino,

With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino,

With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino,

With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino!

First Boy:

This carol they began that hour,

How that a life was but a flower,

And therefore take the present time,

For love is crowned with the prime.

 

Two Boys:

This carol they began that hour,

With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino,

How that a life was but a flower,

With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino,

And therefore take the present time,

With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino,

For love is crowned with the prime.

(Jaques de Boys enters.)

           

Jaques de Boys:

Let me here have audience for a word –

I am Jaques de Boys the youngest

Orlando and Oliver’s brother I,

Here to announce glad tidings from the world.

Brother to the banished Due now reneges,

And seeks penance in a monastery.

Know you where I may find the banished Duke?

And tell him his lands are restored to him.

 

Touchstone:

Good stranger, we’ll convey thee straight hence,

And bless the happy ending that came from whence!

 

Jaques de Boys and Touchstone:

With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino,

With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino,

And therefore take the present time,

For love is crowned with the prime.

 

Audrey and the Two Boys:

This carol they began that hour,

How that a life was but a flower,

With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino,

With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino!

 

(Darkness – End of Intermezzo Part Two)