LIBRETTO

 

 

To Defend Marriage, Act!

or

The Sanctity of Marriage-a-Palooza

A Gilbertonian Operetta

in Two Acts

 

 

 

 

‘Wherever it is allowed

to be established as Law

that a man cannot love a man,

it is due to three things:

Malice on the part of the lawmakers,

Tyranny by the leaders,

And cowardice by the people.’

Plato

 

 

 

 

---

 

Personal note:

 

Personal note

As I write this, we are only weeks away from hearing the results. The Supreme Court finally took action this spring, and from a choice of ten cases (all finding for marriage equality), the Justices heard two. One to test the ability of States to legislate discrimination against a disenfranchised minority into their constitutions – either through a state-house vote, or a privately-funded 'referendum' – and another to test if congress has the power to interfere with individuals' holy unions based on 'na-nana-boo-boo, no civil rights you' politics.

So, soon we will know. California at the very least will be liberated, and a third of the nation will have marriage equality. But – what of the shameful Defenseless Marriage Act of '96? The signs are equally hopeful, for when the wording of the discriminatory 'law' was read in the Supreme Court, people gathered in the chambers actually gasped. Republicans in 1996 felt safe enough in their bias to boldly say the Act was a condemnation of loving couples seeking to solemnize their life-long desire to live and love unmolested by the U.S. Government. Yes. The country has gown a generation since that treachery was signed, and another generation in the few years since DADT was abolished, for since 2010, our president – Our president – stands before all Americans and is not to afraid to say: "It doesn’t matter who you love."

Amen, sister.

 

AC Benus

San Francisco, June 2013

 

 

---

Dramatis Personae

 

Selvin Waveshore – Baritone. Forty-something closeted TV presenter. Host of "American Amateur," he's a multi-millionaire media mogul afraid his 'secret' is well known to everybody and their Aunt Fanny. He is a long-time rival and hostile to Sassy Pippin, though nobody exactly knows why. Today he is hosting the live broadcast from the chambers of the Supreme Court.

 

Jacky Philbert – Lyric Tenor. Thirty-something out and lovable assistant to Sassy Pippin. As he is frequently on her Reality TV show, "My Life on the Queer List," and her show is filming her testimony before the Court, he has to be there, though he's rather not see Selvin, his ex, and the love of his life.

Two Girls – Soprano and Mezzo-Soprano. Twenty-something assistants to Jacky and Sassy. They commiserate with him and know they could 'lick' Waveshore in a fair fight.

 

Brink Adamar – Lyric Baritone. First generation Middle Eastern-American, thirty-something progressive 'celebrity' on TV, in the blogosphere, and frequent talking head on political news hours. He has strong opinions – based on reality – which totally confuse, confound and infuriate his retrogressive opponents, who have nothing but their scripted talking points. He is oddly drawn to the naughty hotness of Melissa Malcontent.

 

Melissa Malcontent – Soprano. First generation Asian-American, thirty-something retrogressive 'celebrity' on TV, in the blogosphere, and frequent talking head on political hours. Her continual stream of vitriol-fueled ire on progressive ideas are fiction-based favorites on Twitter. She hates immigrants, and feels a personal attraction to slight Brink whenever she can. She is oddly drawn to the nauseating goody-two-shoes qualities of Brink Adamar.

Malcontent's Posse – Soprano and Contralto. Twenty-something assistants to Malcontent. They 'yes-ma'am' the heck out of her, and know they could 'lick' Adamar in a fair fight.

   

Justice Paula Sharp-McDougal, retired – Contralto. Sixty-something reformed retrogressive justice who is dealing with the demons of her past decisions in a twelve-step manner. To make amends for her quid pro quo vote to appoint Shrub president, and a string of shocking anti-gay decisions, she has come to persuade her former love, the current Chief Justice, to renounce his retrogressive credentials, and get on the right side of history. Her relationship with him is a troubled one: one-time law clerk to her, she voted for Shrub on the promise of elevation to Chief Justice, but instead, the clerk, whom she had seduced shamelessly, was appointed over her head because of his youthful stubbornness. She has her work cut out for her.

 

Chief Justice Rounder Budmash – Lyric Bass. Twenty-something youngin' who is totally unprepared for his role, but was appointed as the retrogressive's great-white-hope of carrying 19^th century principles straight to the literal heart of the year 2055. His job 'interview' consisted of questions on his healthy eating habits, and his jogging routine. That info, plus a commitment to 'never change' – double pinky swear – shoed him in.

  

Sassy Pippin – Soprano. Forty-something redheaded firebrand. She is a stand-up comedian, turned Reality TV star, who is totally buoyed by 'her Gays,' whom she loves. She has a special message to deliver before the Court, and plans on doing it in style. She hates Slevin Waveshore mainly because she loves Jacky Philbert, and wants to see her assistant and friend happily married to the man he loves.

 

Solicitor General – Tenor. Fifty-something advocate for marriage equality.

 

Congressional Lawyer – Tenor. Fifty-something advocate for marriage iniquity; hired by Congress, but paid for with public tax dollars.

 

Divided Choruses –

Reality TV Men – Six total: Tenors, Baritones, and Bass. They are young and concerned with their bodies, their heavy gold chains, and slicked up hair. They generally horse around and show not too much interest in their fiancées.

 

Reality TV Women – Six toal: Sopranos and Altos. They are young and concerned with the clothes, heavy diamond rings, and slicked down hair of the other girls. They generally chew gum, gab, and show not too much interest in their fiancées.

          

Real Couples, Men – Six total: Tenors, Baritones, and Bass. They are of varying race and age. They gather before the Court with their children, and stand shoulder-to-shoulder, embracing, holding hands, etc. Each of the parents and children carry an unlit candle of hope.

 

Real Couples, Women – Six total: Sopranos and Altos. They are of varying race and age. They gather before the Court with their children, and stand shoulder-to-shoulder, embracing, holding hands, etc. Each of the parents and children carry an unlit candle of hope.

Supreme Court Lunch Ladies – Same six as above. Must be in Supreme Lunch Uniforms and covered by Supreme Hairnets. From behind their steaming hot tables, they decry the lack of political unity among the Justices.

 

Supreme Court Justices, Men – Six total: Tenors, Baritones, and Bass. Four are retrogressive; two are progressive.

 

Supreme Court Justices, Women – two: Soprano and Alto. Both are progressive.

 

Small camera crews (say, two people) will be needed for the various TV personalities: Brink, Sassy, Malcontent, and Selvin. They will manage various live feeds to two large monitors placed stage front left and right.

 

 

---

Setting of the Story

 

Action takes place in the Spring 2013. Outside the U.S. Supreme Court, cameras roll as competing Realty TV programs via for attention. Meanwhile, real couples and their children are pushed to the perimeter to wait, knowing their fate is resting in the hands of others. Later, Selvin Waveshore will host the main event, the Retrogressive-Action-PAC-Sponsored "Sanctity of Marriage-a-Palooza" from the Chambers themselves. After the majority of back-leaning justices form an instant decision that same-sex couples have no rights to it, they will marry a dozen of our favorite Reality TV couples to prove that marriage matters.

 

 

Musical Setting note:

 

Being an operetta, spoken dialogue is indicated in un-bolded text. Much attention has been given to the set numbers to achieve a truly Gilbertonian alternate-world where these characters can move about in total freedom of thought and expression. The music, like Sullivan’s, should contrast the text and be shifted to the serious and genuine to bring the total musical/libretto into a believable and emotionally effective balance.

 

 

---

Act One – Cast the Shadows Free

Scene One: “It Ain't Broke”

(The curtain rises on a media circus brewing on the steps the U.S. Supreme Court. Front and center, a camera crew focuses on Selvin Waveshore. They wait to go live. Soon, his commanding voice will draw everyone's attention. To his left and right are the divided Reality TV men and women; the girls dish each other with eye-rolls behind the backs of their 'friends,' while the boys pose and feel each other's biceps. Stage front left and right are large monitors with a live feed of the action. Around the 'circus,' the Real Couples huddle together. They have their children standing with them, or hoisted on shoulders, etc. Each carries an unlit candle, and several carry marriage equality signs, reading: "Love IS a Family Value!" etc. The first number opens with the Real Couples in a reflective mood. During it, Jacky and the Two Girls, and Brink – with their respective camera crews – enter)

 

 

No. 1 – Double Chorus with Solo for Selvin

 

REAL COUPLES, MEN and WOMEN:

The media's out of control –

This is the stuff that they report ?

When our rights are our only goal –

On the steps of the Supreme Court.

Who knows what will happen today!

 

And isn't that host of that show –

"American Amateur Brats?"

The one we all like and know –

But who are those aristocrats?

Who knows what he'll have to say!

 

REALITY TV WOMEN:

Yeah, our nails are French; our hair good –

So we can get hitched, and then dash.

 

REALITY TV MEN:

Our agents say the exposure could

Make us mega-stars, in a flash.

 

REALITY TV WOMEN and MEN:

(lackluster)

So here we are on our wedding day.

 

REALITY TV MEN:

It's a lark just because we would –

For exposure and, lots of cash.

 

REALITY TV WOMEN:

Yeah, only 'cause we understood –

Prenups last, though marriages crash.

 

REALITY TV WOMEN and MEN:

(lackluster)

So now we're getting hitched: hurray.

 

(Selvin primps and preens. Camera lights come up and him, and his producer counts him down with fingers. He appears on the monitors)

 

[Solo]

SELVIN:

"A big day here at the Supreme Court,

And we're bringing it to you live.

I'm Selvin Waveshore with this report –

(fakes dour concern)

Can conformist marriage survive

(vaguely gestures to real couples and their kids)

The assault by those radicals?

Is tradition enough to deprive

The basics to those amatorials?

(fakes cheeriness)

A political action PAC brings you

'The Sanctity of Marriage-a-palooza!'

After arguments are all through –

Sure looks to be a Doo-za –

And the Retrogressive majority

Decide same-sex couples have no right to it,

They'll wed your favorite Reality –

Yes – TV Couples!, to submit

That marriage matters! It ain't broke.

So, stay tuned. This! IS! … not a joke…"

 

(lights cut off him; camera pans Real Couples and Reality TV Couples)

 

REAL COUPLES, MEN and WOMEN:

The media's out of control –

This is the stuff that they report?

When our rights are our only goal –

On the steps of the Supreme Court.

Who knows what will happen today!

 

REALITY TV MEN and WOMEN:

It's a lark just because we could –

For exposure and, lots of cash.

Yeah, only 'cause we understood

Prenups last, though marriages crash.

So, now we're getting hitched: hurray.

(together from: "The media's out of control…" etc)

 

TOGETHER:

Who knows what the judges will say,

And marriage may still come our way!

 

(the director makes a 'cut' gesture; lights go off; monitors suddenly go black)

 

[Dialogue]

REALITY TV GIRL:

(loud gum-popping)

So, when's this 'thing' gonna happen? I have to get to Atlantic City for a date…

 

OTHER REALITY TV GIRLS:

Yeah!

 

REALITY TV BOY:

(loud knuckle-cracking)

How come the girls get all the best camera angles!?!

 

OTHER REALITY TV BOYS:

Yeah!

 

SELVIN:

(putting an arm around the boy's shoulders)

Learn your lesson well. Always put it in your contract to look better than your co-stars. I always do!

(ushers them off stage, but becomes distracted by Jacky and the Two Girls)

Come on now. Next set-up is inside – we've got to make you look like marriage material.

 

(Exit the stream of Reality TV Couples. As they go, Selvin waves the traffic along, but stays in one spot. The Two Girls give him the 'evil eye,' with a 'i'm watching you' hand signal. Selvin only has eyes for Jacky, and still directing traffic, moves next to him)

 

SELVIN:

(to Jacky)

You're looking well.

(Two Girls hiss at him)

But I see Sassy's other assistants are just the same as always.

 

JACKY:

(awkwardly)

I… I didn't expect to bump into you today….

 

SELVIN:

No?

 

JACKY:

No.

 

SELVIN:

Well. I have to go now. I'll talk to you later – Really. Let's talk.

 

(Selvin exits)

 

GIRL ONE:

Oh get her!

 

GIRL TWO:

Waltzing in and out of your life like a, like a – Scumbag.

 

JACKY:

I wasn't aware that Scumbags could waltz.

 

TG:

Well that one can!

 

GIRL ONE:

Plenty of fish…

 

GIRL TWO:

Don't waste your time…

 

TG:

He blew it with you…

 

 

No. 2 – Trio and Dance for Jacky and Two Girls

(They dance around him, trying to persuade 'it's all for the best' in a light-hearted way. Soon their camera crew cues in and they appear on the monitors)

 

[Verse One]

GIRL ONE:

Why do you waste your time with him

When your chances are nil to slim?

 

GIRL TWO:

There are plenty of fish in the sea

And catching one's easy as can be –

 

GIRL ONE:

So forgive us if we have our doubts

But he's a flake

And a half-bake

 

GIRL TWO:

Don't waste your love pinning on dumb louts

But for our sake

Give it a break

 

TG:

And go for those who are fully 'outs'

Tra, la, la, la, etc.

 

JACKY and TG:

So forgive me/us if I/we have our doubts

But he's a flake

And a half-bake

Don't waste my/your love pinning on dumb louts

But for your/our sake

Give it a break.

[Verse Two]

JACKY:

Girls, your advice is well received

And your intentions, well believed

But as a groundhog with his shadow

Thinks whack-a-mo will surely follow –

I'm there to tell him the weather's fine

To come on out,

And flit about

So he can stop acing so asinine

And come way out

To squash all doubt

That we may dance in the full sunshine.

Tra, la, la, la, etc.

 

JACKY and TG:

I'm/he's there to tell him the weather's fine

To come on out,

And flit about

So he can stop acing so asinine

And come way out

To squash all doubt

That we/they may dance in the full sunshine.

Tra, la, la, la, etc.

 

 

[Verse Three]

GIRL TWO:

You're too good for him I believe,

And your love is hard to conceive –

 

GIRL ONE:

Put yourself first, for once in your life,

And give that loser the ax or knife.

 

JACKY:

But I love him girls, I love him,

And that is that

Though he's a brat…

 

GIRL TWO:

But his coming out have chances slim,

So drop him flat

And get to bat

Swing a homerun to the bleacher's rim!

 

JACKY:

Tra, la, la, la, etc.

 

JACKY and TG:

But I love him girls, I love him,

And that is that

Though he's a brat…

But his coming out have chances slim,

So drop him flat

And get to bat

Swing a homerun to the bleacher's rim!

Tra, la, la, la, etc.

 

(the camera goes off)

 

[Dialogue]

GIRL ONE:

(patting his shoulder)

Cheer up. There may be no cure for the chronic closet case…

 

GIRL TWO:

…But Sassy will put him in his place!

 

(The Two Girls lead the camera crew off to film some Real Couples. Brink and his camera crew wander up to Jacky)

 

BRINK:

Hi Jacky Philbert… I love you on Sassy Pippin's "My Life on the Queer List!" You're Gay. Good for you!

(slaps his shoulders)

 

JACKY:

Brink Adamar, right? Progressive blogosphere mogul.

 

BRINK:

Guilty as charged.

 

JACKY:

Yeah, with the death of Vixen 'News' – or rather, it becoming Foxy News, all Gay, all the Time –

(aside to the audience)

(And they didn't have change any of the anchors!) – you and your Progressive Counterparts have filled in the gap. You know your arch-rival, Melissa Malcontent, is scheduled to speak next.

 

BRINK:

(smiles; stands akimbo)

Oh really!?! Funny I'd be here, with my camera crew, to welcome her.

 

JACKY:

Funny. Yeah.

 

BRINK:

When's Sassy showing up?

 

JACKY:

(secretively)

Later. Big doings with her: She meets with… Well, a higher up, as we speak. Stay tuned.

 

BRINK:

OK. OK – but she better come prepared to turn those Retrogressive, back-lookers on their heels. Most of America wants marriage equality, and just because 'free-speech' corporate, big-interest political PACs can buy their way into the People's Highest Court, doesn’t mean their stunts can win.

 

JACKY:

From your lips…but, you know what those Retrogressives are like.

 

BRINK:

And buddy, I'm proud that you are out on your show. Hearts and minds, one at a time.

(laughs)

I love that rivalry between Sassy Pippin and Selvin Waveshore – Selvin, when do you think that one will come out?

(he laughs, but Jack's all too serious reaction makes him stop)

 

JACKY:

Yeah. When..? But let's hear your opinions on what Retrogressives are really like.

 

 

No. 3 – Song for Brink

 

(He bows, and his camera starts to roll. The Real Couples begin to clap and hoot at the end of each verse)

[Verse One]

BRINK:

Oh Retrogressive those, who within a panic's throws

Will run all about with their heads cut off

Like Chicken Little, who we're taught to belittle,

Their piddling worries are but a rip-off!

Yes, they're argumental,

Some often fragmental,

And yet as they string their antics all day,

They work up a hunger just appalling,

But who wants some bias with their Chick-Fillet?

"See, the sky is falling,

Never mind what we do,

Just look where we're pointing"

While the Fox gets his due –

But who wants some bias with their Chick-Fillet!

 

[Verse Two]

Retrogressives you'll say, why they're swell and Okay,

And bless their hearts, they're just misunderstood,

But others know the truth, and though it seems uncouth,

You wouldn't want them in your neighborhood!

They can be judgmental,

And oh so temperamental,

Devising plots to rob you of your rights,

Talking about truth and liberty dimpleton,

When it's your bedroom they have in their sights!

They play the simpleton,

Jabbering about the past

Like an accordion –

Hoping the ruse will last

When it's your bedroom they have in their sights!

 

[Verse Three]

Like Humpty-Dumpty fat, who on a fence there sat,

Indecision wobbles them too and fro,

And bound for a fall, that nothing can forestall,

A tip of the shell and it's timber ho!

They try to stay stoic,

Come across heroic,

But their antique husks are already cracked,

And all the king's men – his army and navy too –

Can't shore up the riffs in the way they act.

It's a big ta-doo,

That with their backward pace

They will shatter and rue

All the egg on their face

For their antique husks are already cracked!

 

[Verse Four]

Oh those Retrogressives, dear passive-aggressives,

You think you've pulled the wool over our eyes –

You're Machiavellian; downright Orwellian,

Like you are masters of all you surmise!

You're a little scheming,

And oh so misleading,

Telling us black is white, and white is black,

While spinning our heads around with some wherewithal,

Like two legs bound in a potato sack.

You're trudging along hoping

No one's gonna notice

You are barely coping

With their own Judas kiss

Like two lips bound in a potato sack.

 

[Verse Five]

Like the three little pigs, reactionary prigs,

Progressives run higgely-piggely

Afraid that some bad breath will signal our death

While the big bad wolf turns giggly!

We run from side to side

On a plan we can't decide

But when banded together we are strong

Stacking our bricks one on top of the other

And the wolf at our door won’t be there for long.

Straw and wood together

May not be strong enough,

But with each other's cover,

Let the blowhards huff and puff –

For the wolf at our door can't stay there for long!

 

(As Brink finishes, the Two Girls come with their camera and take Jacky away. They exit. Enter Melissa Malcontent, her Posse, and their camera crew. They set up front and center on the steps. The lights come up, and the monitors come on, and the Posse directs Malcontent from behind the camera. Brink slowly inveigles his way to the her side and camera light.. After he does so, the scrim begins to fall behind them, and the Posse grows animated to pull him out)

 

 

No. 4 – Double Song for Malcontent, Brink and Posse

 

MALCONTENT:

(to camera)

Before the Supreme Court today

The Sanctity of Marriage is at stake,

So toss all your Twit-Tweets my way,

That the few I like I might take.

Progressives want to redefine

What was something always very simple,

And they can't just take what is mine;

Twist it this way and that in a crimple.

Reason must listen when I say,

When building a shelvage assemblage

Slot "A" doesn’t go into slot "A,"

And you can't call it a marriage.

MALCONTENT'S POSSE:

Reason must listen when we say,

When building a shelvage assemblage

Slot "A" doesn’t go into slot "A,"

And you can't call it a marriage.

(Malcontent joins emphatically on the last line)

BRINK:

(pushing into shot; hugs Malcontent's shoulders in mock agreement)

I for one believe in what you say.

Marriage is not strong enough to survive,

Two people in love, and Gay –

Such a weak institution won't revive.

It’s a fairy-tale crystal ball

That the government must step aside

From telling us for whom to fall,

And what is the nature of family pride.

Up with inequity, I say –

It's fine to leave some rights in tatters –

For them, it's A-Okay,

For it's our opinion that matters!

 

MALCONTENT'S POSSE:

(now smiling for the camera. They try to pull Brink off shot while uncomfortably agreeing with him)

Up with inequity, we say –

It's fine to leave some rights in tatters –

For them, it's A-Okay,

For it's our opinion that matters!

(Brink pulls free, and joins emphatically on the last line)

 

MALCONTENT:

Important business here today,

Liberty itself might be at stake.

 

BRINK:

Oppression should be here to stay,

It's not like we could make a mistake.

 

MALCONTENT:

The plumbing pieces have to fit right,

To say otherwise would be foolery!

 

BRINK:

Yes, let their civil rights sit tight,

Winner takes all yells the majority!

(a due at recapitulation)

 

MALCONTENT and BRINK:

Just see what's happening today,

A push-me, pull-you tussle's at hand,

No matter what those other's say,

A day of discussion grips the land!

 

MALCONTENT'S POSSE:

(She struggles with Brink, but they all smile at the camera. On the last line, Malcontent draws a finger across her throat, and the camera goes off. Exeunt bickering)

Just see what's happening today,

A push-her, pull-him tussle's at hand,

No matter what those others say,

A day of decision grips the land!

(Malcontent and Brink join emphatically on the last line)

 

Scene Two: “The Right Thing by History”

(The Scrim rises on an impressive corridor before the central doors of the Supreme Court Chambers. Supreme pilasters march along with red white and blue bunting draping in front of, and to the sides of them. Far stage left is a small door. Far stage right is the Supreme drinking fountain. Lights come up on a small contingent of camera crews taking 'background shots,' and Jacky is alone with his aiming their attention here and there. Enter Paula Sharp-McDougal, incognito with sunglasses and headscarf. He loiters nervously by the drinking fountain. Selvin enters and bumps into her. He recognizes her, but moves on. Still distracted by the encounter – and Jacky looking up – they wind up tuning into each other's gaze. While they speak, their camera crews eventually focus on them, and their images float across the monitors)

 

[Dialogue]

SELVIN:

I've just seen retired Justice Paula Sharp-McDougal. She's here incognito, and I wonder why.

 

JACKY:

The Justice Paula Sharp-McDougal? Whose single Retrogressive vote on the Court canceled more than a half million real-people votes?

 

SELVIN:

Yes. The one who made Shrub president.

 

JACKY:

Shrub? More like Twig.

(they share a brief laugh)

Yes, and the one who voted down every Gay Rights case for twenty years. Why'd she quit again?

 

SELVIN:

Because her hotshot law clerk was elevated to Chief Justice over her.

 

JACKY:

Oh. Him. Rounder Budmash. The kid.

 

SELVIN:

Yeah, careful. We might see him too, but you won’t recognize him – he wears jogging clothes under his robes, from what I hear…youngest, most inexperienced 'chief justice' in history. Thanks to Stick.

 

JACKY:

Sassy still hates you; you know.

 

SELVIN:

I know. Every Wednesday night, 8 o'clock sharp, she lays into me.

 

JACKY:

She loves me, and thus you know why she hates you.

(as the camera crews come closer)

I better be going…

 

SELVIN:

(reaches out a hand)

Wait…I miss you.

(sees cameras)

Don’t go, you see…I need your help.

 

(they appear on the monitors)

 

No. 5 – Duet for Selvin and Jacky

 

[Verse One]

SELVIN:

I have this 'friend' who's in an awful bind;

I hope you might have some advice to give –

It's just that his head and heart seems misaligned,

Loving whom he loves, he wants it furtive.

 

JACKY:

Sounds like this 'friend' should just drop the bullshit;

And if I were you, I'd give this advice –

Tell him if he knows what he wants, go for it,

He shouldn't even think about it twice.

 

SELVIN:

Yeah, the poor guy…

 

JACKY:

And the one he loves…

 

SELVIN:

But, the poor guy!

 

JACKY:

And, the one he loves!

 

SELVIN and JACKY:

So here's advice I'll pass along,

Just pretend that troubles can melt in a song.

 

[Verse Two]

JACKY:

I know a guy loved by a closet-case;

I hope you might have some advice to give –

For he's going nuts with the other's slow pace,

When all he wants is to take his hand and live.

 

SELVIN:

Sounds like this jerk has broken that guy's heart;

I just hope he knows he is loved still –

Some loves start slow; some loves bloom right from the start,

And some fears are a match to a man's will.

 

JACKY:

Yeah, the poor guy…

 

SELVIN:

And, the one he loves…

 

JACKY:

But, the poor guy!

 

SELVIN:

And, the one he loves!

 

JACKY and SELVIN:

So here's advice I'll pass along,

Just pretend that troubles can melt in a song.

 

(the cameras move in for respective close-ups)

 

[Verse Three]

SELVIN:

But can't you see the guy's in an awful state…

 

JACKY:

At night he can't sleep, at day, he can't eat…

 

SELVIN:

He wants to see the guy he loves, and can't wait…

 

JACKY:

To be near him, though it is bitter sweet.

 

SELVIN:

Yeah, the poor guy!

 

JACKY:

And, the one he loves!

 

SELVIN:

But, the poor guy…

 

JACKY:

And, the man he loves…

 

SELVIN and JACKY:

That's good advice I'll pass along,

To pretend that troubles can melt in a song.

 

(As the cameras project the men together in one shot on the monitors, they act – or try to act – nonchalant. The number ends with a handshake that lingers; finally Jacky hugs Selvin, then exits. Selvin is left alone with a pained expression to look at the camera. In the background, Paula watches slyly. Suddenly the corridor is full of people, including the Reality TV couples. The Chamber doors open and people file in. Soon Paula is alone. The large doors close, and the small one opens. Enter Rounder Budmash. Paula hides behind the bunting next to the Supreme drinking fountain. The Chief Justice wears boyish Justin Bieber bangs, which he tosses with his head. On his body, he wears expensive tack clothes, a sweatshirt, candy-colored sneakers, and a mess of woven 'friends' bracelets. He strides to the Supreme drinking fountain with a large 'Hello Kitty' mug and bobs his head to his headphones. He is in his own world. As he fills his mug, Paula comes to stand behind him, takes off her sunglasses, and lowers her scarf)

 

[Dialogue]

PAULA:

(affected 'hipness')

Hey.

 

RB:

(turns; pulls down his headphones; looks around, then asks coldly)

'Sup? What are you doing here?

 

PAULA:

Do the right thing by history – don't make my mistakes.

 

RB:

(shocked)

Queer…

(looks reticent to say the next word)

…Marriage? You've changed. You decided with your single vote time and time again to not even allow the basic freedom of Gays from staying out of prison – so don't act all high and mighty about fruit-freedom now.

(begins to walk away)

 

PAULA:

(grabs his arm)

Do it for, for, well, for the love we once shared – the one that dare not speak its name.

 

RB:

(pulls his arm free; goes to the side door)

You've changed.

(exits)

 

 

No. 6 – Scena – Cavatina and Aria

(during the course of the Scena, the scrim falls behind Paula)

 

[Cavatina]

PAULA:

Ah my regrets, come comfort me –

History says I'm on the wrong side,

And that I acted but a fool.

 

For money-politics, my vote

Cast one man to be president,

And we see how well that worked out!

 

Ah my regrets, I did it, see –

Because of a promise then made

That to Chief Justice I'd ascend.

 

But then I fell for my young clerk –

Petchulant, bratty, and so hot –

How wonderful he loved me too.

 

Once I was always the 'good girl,'

Now I relish my forbidden fruit,

And it's exciting to 'be bad.'

 

Yet Budmash you're Chief of my heart –

For it's not too late to change you,

And absolve my judicial sins.

 

[Aria]

To search within and see what finds

A purity of love that must,

Despite rebuff, release or bust.

To peer so deep, the darkness blinds,

But his smile can cast the shadows free,

If nature would just let us be.

Too strong the mind over the heart

That will not let a course have its start,

For true love itself never unbinds

Just because it alteration finds.

 

I will from him with coaxation

Guide him to the right thing to do,

For his youth's fascination –

Shielding him from what's good and true –

Must drop in realization

Before with him I am through.

But May/December hesitation

Will only matter to a few;

Once they see our love's maturation

Drives us together like any two.

 

(recap: "To search within and see what finds" etc.)

 

 

Scene Three: “Instant Decisionary”

(The Scrim rises on the bright and crowed Supreme Court Chambers. Everyone totally unrelated to the outcome the proceedings are here – including the Reality TV Couples – while the Real Couples and their kids are pushed to the perimeters to watch on the monitors)

 

No. 7 – Mixed Chorus with Procession of Justices and Budmash Solo

 

REAL COUPLES, MEN and WOMEN:

Here come the Supreme Justices,

Fine edifices,

Those marble columns upstanding for the law,

(Never mind the mistakes they make,

Or the rules they break),

With them, there's no such thing as legal faux-pas!

 

The high and mighty on the move

With rulings to prove

It's the jock-star kids versus the geeks again –

Retrogressives too-kool-for-skool,

But Progressive nerds rule

When it comes to rights for every citizen.

 

(The eight Justices enter, hiking their robes and doing a high-stepping Supreme cakewalk. The four old and creaky men of the retrogressive 'vanguard' lead the pack. The Progressives trail last)

 

MALE and FEMALE SUPREME COURT JUSTICES:

We talk legalese…

(Though not to each other)

We're always at ease…

(Under our robe's cover.)

 

FOUR RETROGRESSIVES:

Step aside and let us judge,

Through all arguments convincing,

We stand stalwart not to budge!

What's past is tomorrow's reckoning.

 

MALE and FEMALE SUPREME COURT JUSTICES:

We walk easy breeze…

(Though never elected)

Any right we please…

(Is trumped or protected.)

 

FOUR PROGRESSIVES:

We Progressives move along

Never knowing what is coming

From the backwards-leaning throng,

And the crazy tune they are strumming.

(Enter Budmash still zipping his robe. He comes to glad-hand the Retrogressives; and gives the 'shake over the head' to the Progressives. For his solo, he moves among the crowd, confusing the Reality TV Couples, who think he's a gospel singer)

 

MALE and FEMALE SUPREME COURT JUSTICES:

Now here's the man's man…

 

FOUR RETROGRESSIVES:

(The leader of the pack)

 

MALE and FEMALE SUPREME COURT JUSTICES:

A tie-breaker fan…

 

FOUR PROGRESSIVES:

(A small-fry we'd like to throw back!)

 

[Solo]

BUDMASH:

I'm Rounder Budmash, and I'll never change.

I'm the legal kid who'll never grow up,

No matter how the pressures build up,

From my back-leanings, I'll never range.

With the past, the future I'll rearrange,

Making those Progressives think they're hard up,

To get my vote they will never let up,

But my antique values, I'll not estrange.

 

FOUR RETROGRESSIVES:

He's Rounder Budmash, and he'll never change!

And his antique values, he'll not estrange!

   

So I was elevated from a law clerk?

My interview focused on my diet:

My confirmation on my jogging habit –

(But no one asked me if I was a jerk!)

So Chief Justice I became with a smirk,

And for decades to come I will inhabit,

Bringing a backwards glance indefinite

To drive future generations berserk.

 

FOUR PROGRESSIVES:

(Yeah – he was elevated from a law clerk!

To drive future generations berserk!)

 

I have judgments for all; empathy for none.

I vowed my Bushy master to stay the same,

No matter my position is weak to lame,

For the past can't die if I'm still having fun.

If you wonder how it all begun,

The broccoli and health-care decision came,

And the pro-sickness league took its aim,

So it's insurance and veggies for none.

 

MALE and FEMALE SUPREME COURT JUSTICES:

He has judgments for all; empathy for none!

So it's insurance and veggies for none!

 

I'm Rounder Budmash, and I'll never change.

With the past, the future I'll rearrange.

 

(partial recap of the Supreme judicial cakewalk, as Budmash hikes his robes, and high-steps it up to his place on the bench)

 

MALE and FEMALE SUPREME COURT JUSTICES:

We talk legalese…

(Though not to each other)

We're always at ease…

(Under our robe's cover.)

 

FOUR RETROGRESSIVES:

Step aside and let us judge,

Through all arguments convincing,

We stand stalwart not to budge!

What's past is tomorrow's reckoning.

 

FOUR PROGRESSIVES:

We Progressives move along

Never knowing what is coming

From the backwards-leaning throng,

And the crazy tune they are strumming.

(together from: "Step aside…" etc)

 

MALE and FEMALE SUPREME COURT JUSTICES:

We walk easy breeze…

(Though never elected)

Any right we please…

(Is trumped or protected.)

 

(Budmash assumes the position, and sips from 'Hello Kitty')

 

REAL COUPLES, MEN and WOMEN:

The high and mighty on the move

With rulings to prove

It's the jock-star kids versus the geeks again –

Retrogressives too-kool-for-skool,

But Progressive nerds rule

When it comes to rights for every citizen.

 

[Dialogue]

BUDMASH:

(rubbing his hands together)

Well, what's on the docket today?

(The Retrogressive Justice nearest him leans over and gestures to the cameras. He fumbles with papers)

Ah, yes. First things first.

(reads)

"The official corporate sponsor of today's decision is brought to you by - 'The Council for Family Overestimation, Inc.'"

(sets the papers down; the other judge taps it authoritatively)

And – by the free-speech-protected political action PAC "Private Money for Public Marriage Inequity." And you can thank our good 'friends' for bringing the cameras here today.

 

PAULA:

(aside)

Reality TV let in; real people, shut out.

     

BUDMASH:

(slowly bangs his gavel as the chorus starts; he speaks over them)

Now, let the arguments begin.

 

 

No. 8 – Act One Finale

 

[Part One – Chorus with Ballad and Ensemble]

REAL COUPLES, MEN and WOMEN:

Shut out, though we are,

We invoke her name –

Justice, now stand at the bar,

To say love is all the same

PAULA:

Not for money: not for fame,

They come for justice.

JACKY:

Not the scapegoat; not to blame,

We come all fearless.

REAL COUPLES, MEN and WOMEN:

Let justice be served,

Despite all the odds –

We will hold our hope reserved

Even in the hands of these clods.

Justice, now stand at the bar

Shut out, though we are

Testify love is the same

We invoke her name.

PAULA and JACKY:

Not for money; not for fame,

They/we come for justice.

Not the scapegoat; not to blame,

They/we come all fearless.

(together from: "Justice, now stand…" etc)

 

[Recitative]

BUDMASH:

(bangs gavel)

All right, time to roll up my sleeve

And get this thing settled in fact.

Arguments (…which we won’t believe…)

That 'The Defenseless Marriage Act'

(laughs)

Had it wrong all along!

(gavels; vaguely gestures to the Solicitor General)

MALCONTENT:

(aside – to her camera)

He bangs the backwards gong –

And now it won't be long!

 

[Ballad and Ensemble]

SOLICITOR GENERAL:

(rises and bows to the bench)

This Court has many times before

Held as a right fundamental

That marriage cannot be ignored

By a government judgmental.

 

People will continue to meet,

To fall in love and get hitched,

And build for them the life complete

Our society always pitched.

 

Government needs to stand aside –

Have the guts to do the right thing –

Let the wedding bells ring a tide

So prejudice will loose its sting.

 

The Act is just plain wrong –

Don't injustice prolong!

 

MALCONTENT:

(aside – to her camera)

He sings a moving song –

But he won't speak for long!

 

FOUR RETROGRESSIVES:

(aside – to each other)

Why this shambles prolong –

When the decision's foregone.

 

BRINK:

(aside – to his camera)

He stands for truth, Ding-Dong –

The law can't stand for long!

 

BUDMASH:

(bangs gavel; shoos the Solicitor General away)

Fanciful statements , to be sure,

But now to the law's purpose bend –

(The defense lawyer won't demure)

The masses' tyranny to defend;

Their strong-arm 'rights' a throng!

(gavels; warmly invites the Congressional Lawyer to take the floor)

 

BRINK:

(aside – to his camera)

The Act's dying swan song –

It will be dead ere long!

 

CONGRESSIONAL LAWYER:

(does not bow)

This Court has many times before

Held as a right fundamental

(That private money can't be ignored)

To buy a ruling judgmental.

 

Congress' right to stake a claim

Shall not be impinged upon –

That all families must look the same,

And match its imposed paragon.

 

The Defenseless Marriage Act rules

That neighbors decide what is 'right,'

Whose bully pulpit ridicules,

To laugh at with all its might.

 

The Act is just plain strong –

Despite all 'their' singsong!

 

BRINK:

(aside – to his camera)

The bad guys are headstrong –

And to the past belong!

 

FOUR PROGRESSIVES:

(aside – to each other)

Justice we seek lifelong –

Though the trials are long!

 

MALCONTENT:

(aside – to her camera)

Stick it in like a prong –

They'll be done ere this song!

 

BUDMASH and SOLICITOR GENERAL and CONGRESSIONAL LAWYER:

(straight to the cameras)

It's we who get to decide it,

Whether it's broccoli for none,

As lawyers we make it legit,

Blessing marriage rights on some.

 

Life is not overlong –

But the Law's grip is strong!

 

BRINK:

The bad guys are headstrong,

And to the past belong.

We stand for truth, Ding-Dong –

Justice can't hold for long!

 

FOUR RETROGRESSIVES:

Why this shambles prolong –

The decision's foregone.

 

FOUR PROGRESSIVES:

Justice we seek lifelong –

Though the trials are long.

 

MALCONTENT:

Stick it in like a prong,

We bang the backwards gong.

They sing a moving song –

But they won’t sing it for long.

 

BUDMASH and SOLICITOR GENERAL and CONGRESSIONAL LAWYER:

It is broccoli for none,

And some marriage for some.

Life is not overlong –

But lawyer's grips are strong!

(together from: "The bad guys…" etc)

 

[Part Two – A Capella Section]

(The Reality TV Couples are beginning to get it; they rise and walk around the perimeter passing the Real Couples and their kids. By the end of Selvin's Recitative, they are arranged boy/girl in front of the bench on either side of Selvin)

 

[Recitative]

SELVIN:

Selvin Waveshore here. Welcome back

To The Sanctity of Marriage-a-palooza.

Soon our couples will be ushered smack

Into the one-man, one-woman utopia

(And is free of all homophobia…)

That is the sanctity of Hetro-a-palooza.

 

[Mixed Chorus with Solos]

REALITY TV MEN:

Is this what I signed up for?

Does it mean these real families –

These real fathers at the door –

Are shut out by some big fat cheese?

 

REALITY TV WOMEN:

Is this what I signed up for?

Just a few bigots to appease –

While real mothers at the door –

Are shut out by 'authorities?'

 

SELVIN and JACKY:

Awakening comes slowly,

But still the dawn

Must come eventually

To shine on

One and all equally.

 

REALITY TV MEN and WOMEN:

The content of a heart's core

Does not love to others appease.

It seeks what it must adore

Despite bullshit hypothesis!

 

REALITY TV MEN:

Is this what I signed up for?

Does it mean these real families –

These real fathers at the door –

Are shut out by some big fat cheese?

 

REALITY TV WOMEN:

Is this what I signed up for?

Just a few bigots to appease –

While real mothers at the door –

Are shut out by 'authorities?'

(together from: "Is this what I signed…" etc)

 

[Part Three – Sassy Pippin]

(Budmash bangs his gavel; stands and the lights rise on him. The lawyers rush the bench)

 

SOLICITOR GENERAL:

But I demand more time to blab!

 

CONGRESSIONAL LAWYER:

And I demand more time to gab!

(a due at recapitulation)

 

BUDMASH:

(bangs gavel)

We've heard enough testimony –

(looks to his fellow Retrogressives, who suddenly wake up)

Now it's time to roll up our sleeve;

Give our instant decisionary –

(laughs)

One that's 'fair' for all, we believe.

For now, it won't be long!

 

SOLICITOR GENERAL:

But you cannot do so before

The high envoy governmental,

From the presi-dent, is ignored,

With her message fundamental.

 

(The Chamber doors fly open. Sassy Pippin waltzes in; there is stunned silence as she approaches the bench)

 

SASSY:

What up, Bee-Ah-Chez!

 

MALE and FEMALE SUPREME COURT JUSTICES:

(all a twitter)

Now who the devil could this woman be?

Give her the gavel. On that we agree!

 

REAL COUPLES, MEN and WOMEN:

(celebratory)

Oh wow, it's Sassy. This will be a thrill!

On this we agree. She will fit the bill!

 

MALE and FEMALE SUPREME COURT JUSTICES:

She looks like a shrill…

 

REAL COUPLES, MEN and WOMEN:

She will use her skill…

 

MALE and FEMALE SUPREME COURT JUSTICES:

Don’t oppose our will…

 

REAL COUPLES, MEN and WOMEN:

They're all in peril…

 

MALE and FEMALE SUPREME COURT JUSTICES:

This fight seems uphill…

 

(Budmash bands his gavel; sighs, and gestures for Sassy to speak)

 

[Recitative]

SASSY:

I have a message from the man

The people elected (and twice!) –

The Law from fire to frying pan –

So shut up, sit there, and be nice.

 

MALE and FEMALE SUPREME COURT JUSTICES:

(all a twitter)

Now who the devil could this woman be?

Give her the gavel. On that we agree!

 

REAL COUPLES, MEN and WOMEN:

(celebratory)

Oh wow, it's Sassy. This will be a thrill!

On this we agree. She will fit the bill!

(together from: "Now who the devil…" etc)

 

REAL COUPLES, MEN and WOMEN:

The truth she will spill…

 

MALE and FEMALE SUPREME COURT JUSTICES:

This thing we must kill…

 

REAL COUPLES, MEN and WOMEN:

How she fits the bill…

 

MALE and FEMALE SUPREME COURT JUSTICES:

Give her the Gavel!

 

REAL COUPLES, MEN and WOMEN:

Give 'em the Devil!

(together at recapitulation from: "Give her the Gavel!…" etc)

 

(Budmash bangs his gavel, and reluctantly gestures for Sassy to continue)

 

[Ballad]

SASSY:

Apply the just rule of law,

Blind to all influence.

Answer to its higher call,

And be the truth's defense.

 

There's a little-known clause

In our constitution –

One that should give you all pause –

Equal Protection

Means no meany-peany because

"Na-nana-boo-boo, no equal rights for you!"

 

Apply the just rule of law

Blind to all influence.

 

PAULA:

Apply the just rule of law

Blind to all influence.

(a due at recapitulation)

 

SASSY:

Answer to its higher call,

And be the truth's defense.

 

PAULA, REAL COUPLES, MEN and WOMEN:

Answer to its higher call,

And be the truth's defense.

(together at recapitulation from: "Apply the just…" etc)

 

[Part Five – Finale]

[Recitative]

BUDMASH:

(stunned; slowly bangs his gavel)

Drats! Here they've dragged the Rule of Law

Into this open and shut case –

(looks to Retrogressives)

What will we do now?

(they shrug; fumble papers)

 

[Ensemble]

REALITY TV MEN and WOMEN, REAL COUPLES, MEN and WOMEN:

So here's the thing that's crystal clear –

They/we can't do it alone.

Together we can persevere

And ask the law to atone.

 

BUDMASH and MALCONTENT:

They take our rights and at them jeer,

And they piss and groan –

Just face it: Queer is Queer,

As their theatrics well prove.

 

BA and PAULA:

Through the fog on the long roads appear,

The much-needed milestone.

 

SELVIN and JACKY:

To build freedom's house to endure,

We all hoist the copestone.

 

RETROGRESSIVES and CONGRESSIONAL LAWYER:

What is all this chat-chat we hear!

This 'rights' thing we can't condone.

 

PROGRESSIVES and SOLICITOR GENERAL:

We feel we are the pioneer!

And the past is overthrown.

 

REALITY TV MEN and WOMEN, REAL COUPLES, MEN and WOMEN and TG and MALCONTENT'S POSSE:

So here's the thing that's crystal clear –

They/we can't do it alone.

Together we can persevere

And ask the law to atone.

 

RETROGRESSIVES and BUDMASH and MALCONTENT and CONGRESSIONAL LAWYER:

They take our rights and at them jeer,

And they piss and groan –

Just face it: Queer is Queer,

As their theatrics well prove.

 

PROGRESSIVES and SOLICITOR GENERAL and BA and PAULA and SELVIN and JACKY:

Through the fog on the long roads appear

The much-needed milestone.

To build freedom's house to endure,

We all hoist the copestone.

(together from: "So here's the thing…" etc)

 

[Recitative]

BUDMASH:

(stunned; slowly bangs his gavel)

Ratz! Here this thing's out of control

Now we need an intermission –

(judges hem and haw)

I mean, a recess!

(bangs gavel)

 

TUTTI:

Hell's Bells!

Some Liberty Bells

Might crack,

But blind Justice won't lack

A peek-a-boo

Before we're through!

 

This law's in the fast lane, eating up the food chain.

It's this type of campaign, that gives some chest pains.

We're in someone's domain, sneering down their disdain.

They think the Law's insane; and they think we're inane.

They think they can ordain; they think they can obtain.

But all of it's profane; and it doesn’t pertain –

We're singing this refrain, till the last words remain!

 

(recap: "Hell's Bells!…" etc.)

 

(Darkness – End of Act One - Intermission)