The Librarian and the Assassin, a Sapphic Romance at the End of the World - 32. Chapter 32 - Outreach Center

“Bix and Tawni, what are you doing here?!”

To the young women’s surprise, as they entered the outreach center’s kitchen with Yoru, Pan Cakes greeted them.

“I ran across these two in the street,” Yoru replied as she and Pan exchanged air kisses.

“How do you two know each other?” Bix asked the pair.

“Yoru and I are part of the same drag family,” Pan explained, “and our grandsire lives over here and runs this shelter.”

“I help out regularly,” Yoru stated, setting her sack of food onto the kitchen counter and hooking her arm in the hinge of Pan’s elbow, “even though I don’t live nearby.”

Tawni looked around with a little confusion. “I didn’t realize places like this existed.” She then broke out with a beaming smile. “I love this neighborhood! How can we help?” She wrapped her arms around Bix in a side-hug.

Pan laughed and booped Tawni in the nose. “I’m sure we can find something for you to do.”

“What are we making with this meat?” Yoru asked the drag queen. She nodded at her large bag on the countertop.

“Chili!” Pan declared. “We’ll be prepping a lot of it.” She nudged a sack of potatoes on the floor with the toe of one shoe. “And roasted spuds with butter. The chili’s gonna require a lot of onions; I’ll deal with them.”

“But when they make you start to cry,” Tawni replied, “you’re gonna ruin your makeup. Why don’t I handle them?” she offered.

“How thoughtful,” Pan said, leaning forward and planting a kiss on her cheek. “You’re a doll!”

Bix looked at Tawni. “Hey, babe, why don’t we do them together? We can take turns. Let me go first, and if I end up sobbing, you can take over.”

Tawni snickered. “When I was a kid living in the group home, we occasionally found wild onions, and chopping them was always brutal! I’m such a crier, but I’ll be happy to take over when those get to be too much.” She nodded at a bag of onions that was hanging from the kitchen pantry door, and she turned to Pan. “How many do we need to chop?”

“Six of them,” Pan replied apologetically.

“We can handle it,” Bix assured her.

Tawni stepped over to Yoru. “What can I do while Bix is starting on the onions?”

Yoru pulled two large parcels from the sack she had carried to the center. “How about the meat?” She glanced at Pan. “Will we be using the entire eight pounds of ground meat and four pounds of stew meat?”

Pan nodded, but Tawni was confused. “Where did you get ground meat? And what kind of meat is it?”

“There’s a community of animal husbandrists,” Yoru explained. “Their farms are on the far side of the island, where they raise goats. There are also feral hogs in the deep forest farthest from the city. Once or maybe twice a week there are shipments of boar and kid meat that arrive in the Alphabet District.”

Frustrated thoughts entered Tawni’s mind. “Why didn’t I know about all of this? How come no one has ever told me about the Alphabet District, and yet I’ve lived in Stonespire my whole life? I’ve hardly ever left the area around the shallows.”

Pan took Tawni’s hands. “Don’t be upset about what you didn’t know, and instead celebrate what you know now!”

“Tawni,” Bix said in a softer voice than usual, and the other three looked at her.

“Yeah, Bix?”

Bix shook her head. “I’ve seen a tiny fraction of what you’ve set up for yourself and your life. It’s hard to believe all that you’ve accomplished; your home, the way you prepare and preserve food to make sure you’re never in need… you’ve taken care of yourself in ways few could have done.”

“I’ve just done whatever I had to do,” Tawni replied quietly.

“You’re a wonder,” Bix added.

“You two are devastatingly adorable!” Yoru squawked, and they all laughed.

The front door to the outreach center opened, and a man playfully barked, “What are you mongrels cackling at?” He then spotted Tawni and Bix. “Oooh, new friends?!”

The man was almost as big and burly as Pan Cakes, and he had a bushy salt and pepper beard that was decorated with tiny flowers. Their stems were stuck into his coarse facial hair, and he was smiling wide.

“Hey gals,” Pan said to Tawni and Bix, and she flourished at the newest arrival, “he’s here! This diva’s name is Celestial Openings. Say hello, Celestial Openings.”

“Hello, Celestial Openings,” he repeated, causing the other four to laugh. “And what are your names?” he added with a curtsy.

Tawni stepped up to him. “I’m Tawni, and this is Bix.”

“You ladies can call me Celest. It’s nice to meet you both.”

“It’s nice to meet you too, Celest,” Tawni said with a smile. “Are you the drag sire Pan and Yoru were talking about?”

“Well since I wasn’t here for the conversation,” Celest replied, raising one eyebrow, “I can only assume the sire they were discussing was yours truly! I’ve always said,” he paused and struck a dramatic pose, “I don’t care what you say,” and he winked, “as long as you’re talkin’ ’bout me!”

Everyone cackled.

Tawni had a moment of realization. Celest was a man, but so was Pan, and yet Tawni thought of Pan as a woman, even though there was indeed a man beneath Pan’s fierce fabulousness. It seemed so natural for Tawni to think of Pan as a woman, even though the queen’s body was big and manly, and her first name was that of a masculine deity. Within Tawni’s mind, she thought of the name Celest as a woman’s name, but she had not questioned the fact that Celest was a man. Tawni had struggled understanding Alotta Cox when meeting the king. Alotta was also a man, even though his body bore more similarities to Tawni’s than Pan or Celest’s, and Tawni considered that her own thinking needed to be more flexible.

Miles’ words from the night before then repeated in her mind.

If someone tells you they’re a man, just oblige and don’t bother trying to figure anything out, because there’s nothing to figure out, and Tawni recognized the concept applied to every person and every gender expression.

She wished she could just simply know how a person identified, but she was grateful Yoru had given her a way to ask new people about themselves. Tawni stepped up to Celest and tested it out.

“Celest?”

“Yes, my preciousness?”

“Ho-how do yo-you identify?” Tawni stuttered sheepishly.

Celest smiled wide. “As an extraterrestrial!”

Everyone laughed again.

“I’m all man, darling,” Celest answered, “but I’m pretty comfortable as a womanly woman too.”

Another question entered Tawni’s mind, and she asked, “How do you hide your beard when you’re being womanly?”

Celest snickered. “Hide my delicious beard?! I would never!” He ran his fingertips along the edge of his facial hair. He then took one of Tawni’s hands in his. “Don’t you think bearded women are gorgeous, Tawni?”

“I… well, it’s… you’re…” Tawni struggled, but then she blurted out, “yes, you’re gorgeous! I’ve just never met a bearded woman before.”

“Popping your bearded-woman cherry, am I?!” Celest teased, and Tawni, Pan, and Yoru could not help but laugh.

However, Bix frowned at Tawni. “Alotta’s got a scruffy little beard. Didn’t you notice last night?”

Tawni thought back to the evening before. “She did? I mean, he did?” she corrected. “I don’t think that I did notice. But wait a second, Alotta’s a man, not a woman, so he’s not a bearded woman.”

Bix made an apologetic face. “Oh, you’re right; Alotta’s a man, and his beard is pretty small, but don’t you like facial hair, Tawni? I think it’s hot on someone whose appearance is more femme.”

Tawni glanced back at Celest. “I do like your beard.”

“Why, thank you!” Celest stepped up to Tawni and gave her an enthusiastic smooch on her cheek.

“So shall we get started on this chili?” Bix asked. She grabbed four onions out of the bag. “Six, right Pan?”

“You got it,” the queen replied.

“I’ll get the other two,” Tawni added.

“Thanks, babe,” Bix said to her, and she went to steal a quick peck, but she burst out with a giggle that Tawni thought sounded adorable. “Celest, you left a lipstick mark on Tawni’s cheek!”

The others looked at Tawni and laughed even more.

As the group’s amusement subsided, Pan pointed at a cutting block. “Bix, the knives are over there. Either the six or eight-inch butcher knife should do the trick.” She cringed at the pile of onions.

“And we can take turns,” Tawni reiterated.

“Thanks, babe!” Bix repeated.

“But what should I do in the meantime?” Tawni asked.

Yoru squatted down. “Here,” she grunted, hoisting an oversized industrial frying pan from a shelf below the counter, “you can cook the meat in this.” The huge skillet’s weight required Yoru to use both hands to lift it. She set it onto the stovetop and activated the gas flame.

“Cook it in batches,” Celest directed. “Break the ground meat apart while it browns, and let it get a little crispy.”

“You know, Pan,” Bix said casually as she peeled her first onion, “we were planning on coming to the dungeon to find you tonight.”

“Oh yeah?” Pan replied. “What’s up?”

Bix then made a wincing face and glanced at Tawni. “Erm, sorry, I don’t think I should have said anything.” She turned to Yoru and Celest and back to Pan. “We actually need to talk with you privately, so we should probably wait.”

“Girl,” Celest squawked, “you better spill that tea!”

Pan laughed, and she dissuaded Celest and Yoru’s curiosity. “It’s not juicy, Celest. They don’t have gossip to share, and like Bix said, it can probably wait until later.” She looked at Tawni. “Right, Tawni?”

“Yeah, thanks, Pan,” Tawni replied.

Celest rolled his eyes and let out a groan. “Fine!” he pouted playfully. “Keep your secrets to yourselves. You all know that secrets don’t make friends, don’t you?” He then smiled wide through his beard. “I’ll open the cans of beans.” He raised an eyebrow in the direction of the empty skillet seated on the burner. “You gonna put the meat in there, or what?”

Yoru looked surprised. “Oh right! Tawni, let’s do it.” She ripped open the eight-pound parcel’s wrapping and tossed in about a third of the ground meat, which hissed and sizzled in the heated pan.

“That goat’ll render out a lot of fat,” Celest stated, “and I want to save it for future cooking, so before you spice and season it, drain off some of the excess grease into…” he grabbed a small empty jar, removed its lid, and concluded, “this.”

Over the following hour, the five prepped all of the meat. They chopped tomatoes, peppers, and yams, and Tawni and Bix both cried and laughed their way through dicing the six onions. Once the large chili pot was bubbling away, the group convened outside under an oversized umbrella to enjoy the approaching storm. Yoru poured coconut drinks for each of them, and the rain began to fall.

Celest glanced over his shoulder back in toward the kitchen. “The chili needs to simmer for about an hour.” He turned and focused on Tawni and Bix. “So, you gals gonna share those secrets now?” he pried.

Pan let out a playful scoff. “I’m telling you, Celest, there’s nothing exciting to fill you in on.”

Celest scrunched up his nose at Pan and grunted in frustration. “Well, if you’re not going to spill anything exciting,” he complained, “why don’t you ladies tell us a little bit about yourselves. Are you both from here in Stonespire?”

Tawni nodded yes as Bix shook her head no.

“I was born here,” Tawni replied, “and I’ve lived here my whole life.”

“And I’ve only been in town for, what…” Bix paused and looked at Tawni, “something like ten or eleven days.”

“Oh, and where’s home?” Celeste asked.

“I’ve spent most of my life at sea,” Bix replied. “I’ve been sailing for over a decade.” She smiled at Tawni. “It feels like I’ve found a new home though.”

“Delightful,” Celeste replied, “and where do you two live?”

The question’s implication of the two women already living together surprised Bix, and it actually made her blush, but Tawni replied without hesitation.

“We live together in the Oceanside neighborhood.”

Bix gave Tawni a sideways look. “Is that what the neighborhood’s called? I didn’t even know. Have you told me?”

Tawni chewed her lip for a second. “Maybe not?” she replied with no certainty whatsoever. She looked back at Celeste. “We live by the shallows.”

Celeste stroked his beard. “There’s not a lot over there except for the tidal pools. How long have you been there, Tawni?”

“I was taken into a group home in Oceanside when I was a child. I guess I got used to collecting things in the shallows and hunting in the forest that’s on the edge of the neighborhood, so I never left.”

“Tawni has set up a pretty remarkable life for herself,” Bix exclaimed with a beaming smile. “You should see her home!”

“But I don’t have many friends,” Tawni admitted, and the others focused on her.

“I’d say you do now,” Pan countered.

Yoru pouted. “Yeah, Tawni, I thought we were buddies! Aren’t we friends?”

Bix laughed and kissed Tawni’s cheek. “You’ve got more friends than you know.”