Buy Me a Drink - 7. Reflections Over Coffee: Part 1

One of the myriad reasons why I so dreaded last Sunday’s shopping and make over madness was because I have my own little routine for Sundays, especially Sunday mornings. See, every Sunday I wake up between 10:00 and 10:30, have a quick shower, pop down stairs (we live in a small, townhouse style apartment), pour myself some Cap N’ Crunch, and chill with Mick while he finishes his breakfast.

Then we go our separate ways, he to the gym, and me to the kitchen. I clean up whatever dishes are sitting in the sink from last night and this morning, and then I fix myself a pot of coffee and prepare for a late morning get together with one of my favorite people: me.

And I did say ‘get together’ for a very specific reason. See, Sunday between 11:00 and 1:00 is like the most important window of time in the whole week! I use it to get myself together. I sit there in the one rocking chair we have – a gift from my grandmother – and I sip my coffee and think. Usually I’ll scribble my thoughts in my journal, or maybe just doodle in the margins. Some weeks I don’t really do anything but zone out. The important thing is that it’s just quiet time with me. No activities, no music, no television, and certainly no other people. Just me.

Around 1:00 I usually eat a light lunch – normally I just throw together whatever combination of leftovers or snacks I can come up with – and just study or whatever else needs to be done until Mick gets home. He usually gets in between 6:00 and 6:30 and sometimes we fix whatever we can scrounge up for dinner, or, if we’re both feeling lazy, we just go out. More often though we go to Kroger and pick up the groceries for the week, and then just kind of decide from there what we’re having.

Mick’s not the world’s best cook, but he’s certainly not the world’s worst either. My own skill can be summed up in a similar way. So we get by, not on fancy, gourmet meals, but we get by.

Anyway, if you guessed that my comfortable routine got disrupted last week by that little excursion with Amanda and Ronnie, then you’re quite right. Today there’ll be none of that I decide as I take the first sip of my almost-too-hot coffee and settle into my rocker.

I’m probably being melodramatic, but I feel as though my life has changed drastically in the span of the last week and a half. See, I really only had two friends: Mick and Jake. It was ALWAYS either Mick or Jake in my life. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not like antisocial (shut up! I promise I’m not. …Okay well maybe a little. Whatever! It’s my business!). I talk to people in my classes if they talk to me, same goes for life at Bender’s. And so I pretty much just muddle along, people watching and occasionally taking notes. What could possibly be missing from a life like that?

Mick and I met two years ago in my introduction to psychology class. It was my first semester at UH (University of Houston), and his second year. I can already hear people doing the math after I just said ‘two years ago…first semester in college’, yeah I’m 20 if you were wondering, and Jake would be in a great deal of trouble if he got caught selling… errr GIVING me drinks. But that probably won’t happen.

When Mick first started performing at Bender’s, I would just stand by the bar with big black X’s all over my hands – that’s what they use to brand the underage guys, I wasn’t trying to make a statement or anything – and we’d chat. After awhile, between my connections with Jake and Mick my name would always be at the door and I never had to wait in line, or pay to get in. Pretty sweet huh? Anyway, around the time my name started showing up at the door, my X’s started disappearing. At first I didn’t really care either way. I mean I can’t really afford to buy alota drinks anyway, but then Jake started giving them to me while we were chatting and…well, tradition was born.

But, as I often have a tendency to do, I’m getting a little ahead of myself, back to the part about how Mick and I met. Like I said, it was in my introduction to psychology class, and it was Mick’s second full year in school. See Mick has a pretty eclectic range of interests, and his parents aren’t exactly rushing him through school anyway – his family isn’t really hurting for money plus he has some scholarships that off-set the costs even further – so not being in a big rush to figure out what he was going to do with his life, Mick just declared “undecided” and took a bunch of core requirements his first year. By his second year – the one in which we met – he was exploring his options a little more which included the psychology class in which we met.

I wish I had this awesome, amazing story of how we started speaking to each other and became friends, but I really don’t. Basically on the first day of class we sat near each other – he’s cute okay! – and we both asked the professor a bunch of weird questions – because, when you get right down to it, both our minds work in pretty weird ways. So we just kinda bonded over the weirdness I guess, and we always made it a point to sit near each other from then on – I mean hey, if you’re gonna be weird why do it alone? – and we’d always laugh at each other’s stupid questions and remarks. Before you knew it – and how could you know it before when I’m just now telling you? – Mick was inviting me over to his apartment to study, or just to hang out or whatever. I was still living in the dorms at that point so this was a very welcome change in scenery.

Anyway, we pretty much just clicked and most of the time, I’d just crash at his place and we’d ride to school together the next day. It sorta worked out since on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays we both had our psychology class first, and on Tuesdays, and Thursdays his first class was only an hour before mine, and I could just ride with him then go do whatever I needed to at the dorm before class. So yeah, that worked out pretty well.

By the end of the second semester he had more or less decided to do the philosophy degree thing. However, like I said, he was in no rush, so he agreed to take a bunch of psychology classes with me - which he knew he’d liked anyway based on the one we had together. He was also more than willing to check out a couple of sociology classes (that’s my major in case you’ve forgotten. Pysc is just the minor). You’re probably thinking he made like all these huge sacrifices for our friendship, but he seriously likes those subjects too, in fact I wouldn’t be surprised if he eventually switches over to one of them. He’s also taking a butt load of other electives. As I said, the boy just isn’t in a hurry. As for me, well every now and then I’ll take a philosophy class with him just for kicks.

Anyway, by the end of May when his lease was up we had decided to room together. I was a little surprised when he insisted that we do it in Montrose, but I’m pretty sure it’s all part of his master plan to find me a boyfriend. Mick really is cool like that. I mean he himself avoids romance and dating like crazy, so you could understand if he sorta forgot that other people do that kind of thing sometimes. But no. He’s like legitimately interested in making sure I eventually find someone to be happy with. If I question him about it, or try to get him to butt out when he goes too far, he always cites the statistics we keep hearing in our classes about how I’ll be healthier and happier if I settle down. I suspect another big aspect of the ‘exotic dancer’ plan was just getting me inside a gay club.

Most of you are probably wondering why dating and romance is so off the table for Mick himself, right? Well if you figure it out let me know! I mean it’s not like he won’t talk about it if I ask him, but I still can’t really get a handle on it. He says it’s just not his thing. He did tell me he was straight though, and I mean he is…you can just tell he is…he’s just…well he’s Mick and Mick doesn’t date, and I guess that’s all there is to it. But I’m tired of thinking about Mick right now – lusting after his ass I would be up for, but damned if he didn’t take that with him!

I guess the main place my thoughts are going this afternoon is to the fact that for so long now my social life has pretty much just revolved around Mick and Jake, and I guess peripherally Amanda when she’s around, but now…now it’s like I’ve been thrown into this tornado and I’m not sure what to do to make the spinning stop…or if I even want the spinning to stop.

Like, I’m kinda scared to give them the labels because in a fucked up kind of way I’m worried it’ll make them disappear, but I’m starting to think maybe Ronnie and Cosmo are my friends now. Amanda too I suppose. I mean, with Amanda it’s sort of like I still only know how to be with her in relation to Jake, and now to Ronnie. Like she’s Jake’s girlfriend and Ronnie’s best friend, but when I’m not interacting with her as part of those units…well I’m not interacting with her at all except when she is part of those units, but I guess she’s even a ‘friend’ too.

Ronnie’s a bit different though; Ronnie is a handful. I’ve given it some thought and I think the best way to describe how I feel about Ronnie is that he’s somewhere between Daisy and Cosmo. No, it’s not like a twisted threesome, it’s like all three of them are in the same kind of category. I mean they’re all…umm…how do I say this? Well, they’re all big femme flamers and they’re all like into ‘the scene’ or whatever, but I’m starting to see that there are a lot of differences between them. Like Daisy is this total bitch, who seems to hate everyone and never says or does anything nice (unless it’s to get in someone’s pants). Cosmo on the other hand is almost like the complete opposite. It seems like he’s genuinely trying to be nice to people and help them out whenever he can…Then there’s Ronnie. Ronnie has this edge that Cosmo doesn’t have – or maybe just doesn’t use. He’ll say mean, caustic things, he’ll snap his fingers and bob his head from side to side, basically he’ll act like a royal bitch sometimes, but under it all I’m pretty sure he’s a good guy.

Ronnie even called me Wednesday and dropped by for a couple of hours. It was really weird hanging out with him just the two of us, but it was also kind of fun. His story is that he’s 22, and he’s pretty much bounced around from university to university dropping out and changing his major. His family has the money to afford him this luxury and it looks like they aren’t really trying to stop him. Right now he’s majoring in fashion design at San Jacinto College and he actually seems really into it, and if you ask me it’s a great fit for him. So hopefully this is it and Ronnie’s actually found his role in life – you know beyond living at the spa, and shopping for over-priced labels.

As for Cosmo, well all in all I’d have to say he’s still a big question mark to me. I just really like the guy. He’s so easy to talk to, and I’m pretty much positive I’d have already given up on Ben if I hadn’t had his support and encouragement. The next time I see him I want to remember to ask him for his number.

*sigh*

Then there’s Ben himself. Where do I start with Ben?

It feels like every fiber of my body is telling me to stay away from him. I mean he’s superficial as hell. He drinks too much. I don’t know for sure, but I’d be surprised if he weren’t on at least a few illegal drugs. He’s obviously a big drama queen with a temper, and it’s like he doesn’t even care enough to tell his friends to get lost when they’re crowding us. All in all I know it’s a big mistake to go anywhere near him.

But damn I want him. He’s like no one I’ve ever met before. He’s like…completely confident. I mean I don’t care how hot you are; it takes balls and a great deal of confidence to walk up to complete strangers and ask them to buy you a drink. He has this attitude going like he just assumes everyone likes him and will find him desirable or fun to be with. And damn it! It looks like he’s right, I mean it certainly seems like he’s right where I’m concerned.

If you think about it I should be one of the least likely guys in the whole frickin club to fall under his spell. I mean I’ve seen how he works in detail, I know his type, and I’m not like into all that. Yet all he has to do is cast his green eyes over me or lay one of his soft but strong fingers on me and I’m jelly.

I mean I guess he’s not all bad though. Before I had always just kind of figured he and the gang were not only superficial but also just really stupid. Now I’m not so sure anymore. I still don’t really know about Giorgio or Daisy, I mean hell it’s not like I’m going to sit down and try to discuss Goffman's Theory of Dramaturgy with either of them, but in many ways it looks like they’re already experts in social staging and appearance management (even if the appearances that they manage are that of assholes) and that requires at least SOME intelligence. Cosmo certainly doesn’t seem dim either and really I don’t think he’s even particularly superficial…or if he is there’s substance underneath. As for Ben…

Well, Ben has an awesome sense of humor, so he can’t be too stupid either right? His humor is even surprisingly kind, probably much kinder than Ronnie’s actually. Like he teases me, but he doesn’t do it in a hurtful way and it sort of seems like he even does it to put me at ease. I mean, I know it’s probably just so that I’ll buy him drinks or fawn all over him or whatever, but at least he’s not a bitch like Daisy.

It’s pretty amazing how little I have to go on about the guy though. I have no idea what he does, if he’s in school or working. I don’t know how old he is (gotta be late teens/early twenties though). I don’t know what any of his hobbies or interests are (unless you count sex and drinking as hobbies). Heck, I don’t even know his last name.

All I really know, when you get right down to it, is simply that I have to know more about him…