Sestina III - 1. Chapter 1

I know when I accepted I was gay.

Maybe I've always known;

But I think I was too afraid

to admit it to myself.

Do you know how hard

it is to just be you?

You'd think you would know you

are better than anyone, but when you're gay

It can be really hard.

It's like there is a voice trying to be known

Telling me to accept myself

But I am deaf and afraid.

I'm not accustomed to being afraid.

What is there to fear in you?

What stops me from embracing myself?

It's that small word: 'gay'

Who would have known

That small word makes life so hard?

But life is meant to be hard,

So why be afraid?

I have only known

And understood that fact after I met you

And now I am not scared of being gay.

I have come to know myself.

I don't think I knew myself

Until I knew you. It wasn't hard;

Being with you made me proud to be gay.

I was no longer afraid

When I was with you

And everything was known.

I would have never known

When I was by myself

That I wasn't me, without you.

Being with you wasn't hard

After I realised I shouldn't be afraid

And I finally accepted I was gay.

Being gay, being known, being afraid

Being myself is hard, without you.