Richmoore Institute - 5. Chapter 5 - The Autumn Dance

Be yourself – another common advice often given by those who lack wisdom at the expense of the subjects. We have the ability to act differently in different scenarios and adapt to different circumstances. Such adaptation often provides us an advantage in the different environments. However, such adaptation also come at a cost – it can sometimes be strenuous to adapt certain behaviour depending on one's predisposition. It might be inherently harder for someone who is predisposed to behave in a feminine demeanour to adopt a masculine front, and as such, prolonged attempts at adaptation can cost such a person much happiness. Such observation has led the convention to believe “be yourself” to be good advice. However what convention often forgets is that adaptation happens for a purpose – encouraging a boy with feminine demeanour to “be yourself” can cost the boy his life in environments less friendly to such behaviour.

* * *

“I'm in!” Alistair bellowed jubilantly the moment he set foot in his room, catching Ethan's attention immediately. “They let me in the football team, can you believe it?”

Ethan rubbed his groggy eyes as he formed a wide smile, happy for Alistair.

“Oh sorry, were you trying to sleep? Why did you leave the lights on?” asked Alistair.

“I was about to sleep soon, but wanted to lie down with the lights on for a bit, while I think about an assignment,” answered Ethan. “Where were you?”

“With Lizzy,” sighed Alistair as he collapsed on his bed, evidently worn out from the happenings of the day. “She asked me to go to the Autumn Dance with her.”

“And?” asked Ethan, prompting Alistair to continue his thoughts.

“Should I?” asked Alistair as he heaved another sigh.

“You should... I guess,” answered Ethan with slight uncertainty. “It'll make you popular. And even if you don't like being popular, it does have some perks - like being able to play football. ”

“I guess,” said Alistair before the both of them wander into their own deep thoughts.

Ethan deduced that having Alistair as Lizzy's date to the dance was probably part of Sam's and Jane's plan to shoot Alistair into stardom to secure his position at the football team, and hence encouraged Alistair to accept the proposal. However, Ethan wondered why Jane and Sam had not include in their plan to ensure that Alistair accepted the proposal. It was then that it dawned on Ethan that perhaps they did, and perhaps Ethan was a pawn in their plan who was expected to convince Alistair. The potential complexity of the scheme frightened Ethan. These were uncharted territories filled with schemes and plots. Ethan's only consolation was that the most recent scheme was in their favour, but feared when one would be undertaken to be against them. Ethan tried to find solace in the thought that at least he had two masterminds by his side, and that he was in safe hands. In safe hands. The thought of being in Jane's safe hands caused a stirring in his groin. Soon after, lustful thoughts purged his brain of all chains of rationale thinking, and he clandestinely slipped his hand beneath his sheets to attend to his now fully-fledged hard dick.

Alistair on the other hand had his mind wrapped around Shawn. Shawn was the captain of the football team who seemed to have been responsible for his admission into the team. Though, Shawn was also the fiancé of the object of his affection, who also happened to know what happened between him and Sam. So why did Shawn let me on the team? Shouldn't he hate me? Doesn't he hate me? He was definitely pretty cold when I met him outside Sam's room. And what did he mean by endangering my family? Will talking to Sam affect my family? Is that why Sam is avoiding me? Is that why Sam left? The chain of unanswerable questions slowly put Alistair into slumber.

* * *

The sun shone brilliantly even at 9 am on a Sunday morning. High above everyone else, Jane and Sam sat on the rooftop of one of the campus's tallest buildings with a cup of tea in their hands. Such was their weekly tradition.

“So, do you think I should ask Ethan to the dance?” asked Jane, starting the conversation for the day.

“I so did not see that coming,” Sam quipped sarcastically as he chuckled lightly, eliciting a death glare from Jane. “Let me see: shorter than you, check; meek and shy, check; intelligent, check; low self-esteem, check. He had a perfect score on the check-list, I don't see any logical reason not to ask him out,” Sam said as he was struggling to restrain himself to laugh hysterically.

Jane used her free hand to lightly shove Sam in jest, as a sign of her disapproval. “And once they've grown a pair and once they've developed some self confidence, you find a way to break up with them. It's really quite the predictable vicious cycle, sure you want to go along with it?” Sam continued.

“I'm only going to hurt him, am I not?” Jane asked despondently.

“Honestly, judging from the pangs of desire evident from the way he looks at you, the harm you're going to inflict on him for eventually breaking up with him might not surpass the harm of his continuous longing for you,” said Sam.

“Thanks for the moral absolution,” Jane said as she gave Sam one of the most insincere smile she could muster, eliciting a full 180 degree eye roll from Sam.

“I know, I know, I need to figure out why I lose interest after they develop some sense of self-esteem,” Jane sighed. “I'm such a mess.”

“Don't worry, you're not the only one,” replied Sam.

“So, this Alistair guy, you like him don't you?” asked Jane cautiously and suspiciously. As innocently as Jane tried to frame her question, her blunt inquisition had unwittingly caused Sam's pupils to dilate. Before Sam could formulate an appropriate respond, Jane continued, “He's part of your unspeakable past, is he not? Don't worry, my lips are sealed. And don't worry, you weren't obvious; I just know you better than most people.”

Sam sighed; Jane's discovery had once again brought Sam's burden of the past into his forefront of his mind. The weight of the burden so strong that it had put a slight slouch to his perfect posture. As strong as others think he might be, sometimes Sam wondered when he would succumb to all the shackles in his life, and collapse; never to rise again.

“One more question,” Jane was unusually insistent; she felt that it was incumbent upon her to extend one last inquiry, “If you could get together with Alistair, but hurt and harm Shawn in the process, would you?”

Sam took a moment in contemplation. Was he not already hurting Shawn, he thought. “I think by simply unable to let go of my feelings for Alistair, I've already wrought great harm to Shawn.”

The couple remained silent for a good moment to reflect on the conversation that had past. Not long after, casual banter once again filled the rooftop and laughter resonated with the chirps of morning birds.

* * *

The sun shone brilliantly even at 9 am on a Sunday morning. Low beneath everyone else, Shawn was swimming in the dormitory basement pool. Betty strode in wearing her bikini bathing suit with a glass of ice lemon tea in each hand. She sat at the ledge of the pool, immersing her legs into the warm water. Shawn, who noticed her arrival, subsequently swam towards the ledge and sat beside her. His entire tout torso glistened with only a short pair of trunks protecting his modesty. Such was their weekly tradition.

“So, your fiancé owes me for helping that wonder-boy enter your pathetic team,” mocked Betty, starting the conversation for the day.

“And you thought you could claim your reward from me?” asked Shawn, who was still mildly panting as a result of his earlier laps.

“Something doesn't feel right,” Betty thought aloud.“Why do I have the inkling that there is more to this wonder-boy?” asked Betty. The direction of Betty's inquiry stiffened Shawn. “Also, you need to work on hiding your emotions, you're too easy to read.”

“It's hard to hide my emotions when this particular matter is at question,” Shawn lamented. “I know, all the more reason I should hide it.”

“Oh my God! He's related to Sam's unspeakable past?” Betty asked, albeit already having known the answer. “Oh my God! He's the guy!”

Shawn nodded with resignation. “I believe I do not need to remind you that this is not something to be repeated outside these walls.”

Betty made a gesture to zip her lips with her fingers. “Even the most daring gossip queen does not have the guts to go against the will of the Dragon Lady,” Betty said solemnly, “Seriously, when she speaks, it's as if she's breathing fire onto people.”

“Sam stood up against her,” Shawn reminisced with a slight smile forming as he stared deep into the pool.

“Well, he's her son, he had a lifetime to get used to her,” said Betty, though she noted Shawn was probably too deep in his thought to have processed her statement. “Oh Shawn,” she rubbed her hands on his muscular shoulders, “Sam is an idiot for not appreciating you.”

* * *

“Hey Ethan,” Jane whispered into Ethan's ear as she placed both her hands on his shoulders. Ethan was completely startled and jumped up from his seat at the library, soliciting a stare from the librarian and light chuckles from Jane. The sensation of Jane's breath on his ears though was adequate to bring Ethan's dick into full life. Great, I have permanent erection dysfunction.

“Geez Jane, hasn't anyone told you that if you're trying to maintain peace at the library, sneaking is one of the most counterproductive ways of greeting someone?” quipped Ethan. After a few weeks of interacting with the Breakies, Ethan was finally able to converse normally with Jane.

“It's Sunday afternoon, and we are the only two people at the library. I think maintaining peace is no where near the top of my priority,” said Jane as she sat beside Ethan.

“The halo is fading and I see horns growing,” Ethan said in jest. Jane chuckled liked an infatuated teenager in response, which nearly caused her to vomit a little into a mouth when she reflected on her action.

“So you going for the dance?” asked Jane without an iota of anxiety or hesitation.

“Urm, yeah. Most of the Welfies are going in a group. I've been accompanying Alistair to the dance classes though. Lizzy convinced Alistair to sign up for them even before she actually asked him to the dance,” Ethan started to gabble and stammer as he anticipated the direction of the conversation that Jane is trying to head towards. Calm the fuck down, why in the world would Jane ask you to go to the dance with her.

“Good, then you'd be more than capable as my dance partner, if you'd like to be,” said Jane, once again with full confidence.

Ethan chuckled before he fully processed Jane's statement. “Did... did you just ask me to go to the dance with you?” Ethan stammered as his eyelids fully dilated, visibly enlarging his eyes.

“Mmmhmm,” Jane nodded.

“I... I... I'd love to,” Ethan stammered helplessly. “I'd love to go to the dance with you,” he completed his sentence after mustering as much courage as he could ever muster. “Fuck, I sound like an idiot,” he chided himself.

“Don't worry about it,” Jane smiled, as she stood up to give Ethan a soft and prolonged kiss on his cheeks. “I'll see you tomorrow in school,” she said before heading out the library.

Ethan was left petrified. I think I just came in my pants.

* * *

The Autumn Dance was drawing close as the days got by. Prattle and babble on the latest gossip regarding 'who is going with whom' pervaded the corridors of Richmoore Institute. Alistair had accepted Lizzy's offer to be his dance partner – as the news of which soared through the halls of the institute, so did Alistair's social status and fame. The fact that Betty elaborated in the column that Lizzy had won the bet against Sam further elevated Lizzy beyond cloud nine.

Ever since a month ago when Shawn thwarted Alistair's attempt at attaining an explanation from Sam with regards to his sudden departure, Alistair had refrained himself from paying an unsolicited visit to Sam's dormitories. He was still extremely unfamiliar and uncomfortable with the political intrigue to risk being reckless. He had hoped that Sam would pay him a visit instead, but waited to no avail.

The morning before the Autumn Dance, the campus was buzzing with activities. Florists, musicians and caterers busied themselves at the venue. Despite preparations year after year, the campus stylist once again failed to accommodate the myriad of hysterical females, and even males, attempting to look their very best for that one night. Fortune favours the bold, Alistair thought. Hence on that morning, he resolved himself to attempt to pay Sam another visit. He strode the halls into the west wing dormitories and tried to be as surreptitious as possible. He had hoped to blend into the chaos around the campus in order to avoid any attention.

He finally arrived at the dormitory in which Sam resided, and took a deep breath before knocking on Sam's door. Startled, he took a step back as the door opened, revealing a groggy Sam.

“Sam,” Alistair barely whispered. A rush of energy suffuse every inch of Sam; and groggy, Sam was no more.

“Al...” Sam muttered while gazing into Alistair's golden eyes. It was as if the memories he had weaved together with Alistair all lay buried in those iridescent eyes, for when his gaze was lost within, he could vaguely hear the gales of laughter they had shared while running across a park amidst torrential rain.

“Sam, please...” Alistair gulped before continuing, “I have so many questions, please just tell me everything.”

Sam frowned at the sight of Shawn heaving into sight at the end of the corridor. “Shawn is here. Meet me after the dance, tonight. Eleven at King's Park.” Sam knew he was taking a tremendous risk, though he had hoped that the dance would serve as the perfect distraction while he expound everything he had harboured so long inside to Alistair.

As soon as Sam finished his sentence, in one big leap, Shawn reached for Alistair and pinned him against the wall, “How many times do I have to tell you to leave him alone?”

Alistair could break free if he wanted to, though he had an eerie feeling that on top of strength, Shawn also had great finesse, honed by years of martial arts training. Nonetheless, Alistair believed he could give a good fight back if he had really wanted to. Before his deliberation culminated, Sam had drawled sternly, “Enough!”

Shawn let go of Alistair, but both had remained in stalemate. “Alistair, you should go,” Sam broke the tension, “I'll see you at the dance tonight.” As Alistair walked down the corridor, away from Sam, Sam stole a quick glance from Shawn. Shawn's expression was near surreal; Sam thought that he could see blends of anger, pain, disappointment, resignation and fear altogether. “I'll pick you up at 5,” Shawn muttered before he too strode down the corridor, away from Sam.

* * *

“Hey,” Sam had promptly answer the door when Shawn had knocked not a minute after five. Upon meeting Shawn's eyes, Sam frowned – he looked petrified. Nothing could have prepared Shawn for the sight that lay before him. Sam's otherwise unkempt hair was gleaming in streams of blonde and gold; the curls were suavely styled, adding layers and volume to the otherwise matted locks. The black frames were gone, revealing Sam's beautifully curled eyelashes and deep blue eyes. Sam's white Tuxedo blended well with his pale skin and clung tight to accentuate his lean v-shaped torso.

If you love someone, you'd want the person to be happy, no matter who that person is with. Shawn had spent quite some time in the last few days thinking about the statement that Lady Victoria made on the day they got engaged. How am I supposed to give up something like that? Shawn thought as he remained utterly bewitched by the sight before him.

“You alright?” Sam whispered as he place a light touch on Shawn's shoulder. “Yes, let's go,” Shawn replied promptly and perfunctorily as if Sam's touch had released the spell that was unleashed upon him. Pangs of melancholy flooded his emotions when Shawn acknowledged that Sam had probably groomed himself, as rare as it may be, for Alistair and not him.

* * *

Carriages escorted couples and groups of students into the garden where the Autumn Dance was being held. “Carriages, the fuck?!” was what went through Ethan's mind – a little too audibly. Ethan was too focused on perfecting his dance moves and selecting an affordable yet presentable Tuxedo that he had not bothered to gather information around what actually would happen at the dance – other than the dancing.

“Yes, carriages, with actual horses,” Jane replied while suppressing a giggle. Jane was elegantly draped in a dress as red and vibrant as fresh blood itself, complemented by a pair of silk opera gloves as white and shiny as pearl.

“You're way too nervous, Ethan,” Jane giggled as the couple embarked on the carriage while attempting to soothe Ethan by running her hands up and down his shoulders.

Dammit, you're not helping woman! Ethan thought silently. This bloody carriage isn't helping with all the bumping either! “I'm fine,” Ethan gulped.

“Ethan, I'm about to do something very 'unlady-like', and you have to promise that you'll never mention it again, but I think it'll help with the nerves,” Jane drawled. Ethan was too nervous to even respond to Jane, which sealed Jane's conviction that something had to be done.

Jane moved her hands to caress Ethan's crotch. Ethan squealed, “That's not helping.” It was a closed carriage, and although the carriage curtains were held open, the windows only revealed the upper torso of its passengers.

Jane deftly unzipped Ethan's pants, and drew out his erect member, which was already profusely leaking pre-cum. Careful to not stain her silk gloves, she moved her fingers to the base of Ethan's six-inch dick to hold it steady and dexterously lowered her lithe body in order to engulf the whole of Ethan's manhood into her mouth.

“Oh my God,” Ethan whimpered. And before Ethan could finish mumbling, “What are you doing?” he was already shooting streams of semen into Jane's throat.

“I think you just stole my virginity,” Ethan panted heavily as Jane carefully tucked Ethan's subsided and sensitive manhood back into his pants.

“I hope you didn't find it too crude to lose your oral virginity in a carriage on route to a lavish dance?” Jane quipped.

Jane's beyond vulgar advances did do miracles to steady Ethan's nerves. Once the pent up chemicals were flushed out of Ethan's body, he was finally able to regain control over his body. “Sorry that you had to do that, I'm sixteen, and for some reason you have that effect on me,” muttered Ethan with flushed cheeks.

“It's okay,” Jane replied calmly, almost as if their brief sexual engagement did not happen. “I'm glad to contribute in helping you cure your permanent erection dysfunction.”

“Burn!” Ethan said in jest, “It'd definitely take a lot more than that to fully cure it you know.”

The couple joked and laughed in the remainder of the journey once Ethan regained his humorous self. Though beneath the smiles and joy, Jane had thought solemnly and silently, "I don't deserve him."

* * *

Euphonious streams of violin, cello and harp music permeated the air of the celestially decorated garden. As couples and groups of immaculately groomed students alight their respective carriages at the entrance, they were led through a beautifully sculpted marble arch into the majestic garden in which the annual Autumn Dance had been held since time immemorial. Flowers of all colours adorned the large compound of the garden, accented by the rays of colours emitted by the strategically placed landscape lights. Gales of chatter could be heard from the centre of the garden where a large marble fountain stood vigil. Waiters and waitresses in black dress shirts and light blue gowns respectively patrolled the garden with finger-food and 'mocktails' – as splendid as the scenery might have been, the guests were nonetheless underage students.

In an intricately laced white dress, Lizzy smiled and laughed at the conversation surrounding her. Her arms were firmly locked around her prized possession – 'the Frog Prince'. The title was propagated primarily by Lizzy herself to allude to Alistair's humble beginnings only to transform to a charming prince upon her kiss. Her hands moved to Alistair's waist and she pressed herself closer to Alistair as she saw Sam and Shawn approaching.

“Liz. Al.” Sam gently nodded as form of salutation, his eyes lingered a second too long on Alistair – he had never seen the young man dressed so elegantly in formal attire.

“Sam, how nice of you to come say hi,” Lizzy feigned politeness. Sam wanted to give Liz as much satisfaction as he could that night – after all, he did steal her boyfriend and she did indirectly help Alistair get into the football team. Shawn on the other hand had little patience for the superficial conversation that would otherwise unfold between them; Lizzy's cold and bitter gaze at him also sent tingling sensations to the hair at the nape of his neck. After a curt smile and a nod, he dragged Sam, whose arms were locked around his to mingle with more agreeable individuals instead.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” the host had announced an hour into the event, “I formally welcome you to the 238^th annual Autumn Dance by Richmoore Institute.”

“Holy crap, this school is old,” whispered Ethan, barely audible to anyone else. Though Jane, who was inches away from him had heard, and giggled. Ethan blushed and uttered, “sorry,” in response.

“In accordance with tradition, the first dance of the night shall be with someone other than your dance partner. When you entered the garden, each of you have been given a card with a unique number. You must now spend the next half an hour finding your 'First Dance Partner' with whom you will be sharing the very first dance of this event,” the host announced.

“Huh, ice breaker at a dance,” Ethan muttered, before Jane gave him a reassuring smile as they both wandered around the garden looking for their match.

Once everyone was matched with their First Dance Partner, the melodious tune of waltz music began gracing every corner of the garden.

“Which one of you set this up,” Shawn uttered as he and Jane deftly matched each others' footwork to enact a smooth and elegant dance.

Jane gave a light smiled, “Maybe it's just fate.”

“Nothing is a coincidence in this cursed place,” replied Shawn coldly as he observed, not too far away, his fiancé swaying gently with his nemesis.

“You know, Ethan and I did take dancing lessons; we can dance,” Alistair said in jest, in response to how Sam was leading the dance with Alistair – crude in comparison to the elaborate manoeuvres of their peers. Sam gently shook his head and smiled before shifting his hands to encircle Alistair's shoulders as he gently rested his head on Alistair's chest. Sam's intimacy came as a pleasant surprise to Alistair. He calmed his nerves in order to refrain from quivering as he grazed his hands along Sam's torso to land on Sam's waist.

Pangs of melancholy assaulted Shawn as he bore witness to his fiancé gently swinging from side to side in bliss with another man.

“Careful not to let jealousy get the better of you Shawn,” Jane uttered. Oddly, her expression held a tinge of regret, unclear if it was with regards to what she had done, or what she was about to commit.

For three whole hours, music, dancing, chatter and laughter filled the garden. It was no secret that many students had brought tiny bottles of liquor to be mixed with their drinks. The dancing became more intimate where lascivious gropes replaced elegant style – be as it may, the students were well aware that in a place such as Richmoore, any misdemeanour in the eyes of genteel society would be used against them at great expense; and in a place such as Richmoore, everyone was watching everyone. Hence, caution was still at the forefront of the teenagers' mind in spite of their self-induced intoxication.

"You looked really happy when you were dancing with Alistair," Shawn said as he and Sam manoeuvred graciously to the music.

"I'm sorry," Sam said solemnly. Although he was certainly sorry for hurting Shawn, he could not apologise for his earlier display with Alistair for he would most certainly do it again in a heartbeat.

Shawn abruptly planted his foot firm on the ground, startling Sam. He pulled Sam towards him and hugged him tightly, pressing Sam onto his chest.

"You'll never be able to love me, will you? Shawn whispered into Sam's ears. "I would never be able to compete with him, would I? Would you change your mind if I had become kinder? Hotter? Smarter? Which is it? Which is it that I don't have that he does?" Sam fell into silence as he was unable to respond to Shawn's inquiries. He did however, wrapped his arms around Shawn and allowed Shawn to feel the warmth of his embrace – that much he owed to Shawn.

* * *

The crowd dissipated and retreated to the dormitories as the dance came to an end at ten. Though for Sam, the night was far from over. After ridding himself of the formal attire, he strode to King's Park in order to meet Alistair at eleven. He was unsure as to what explanation he would be giving, and he was unsure as if his explanation would even make Alistair feel better about the entire situation. Nonetheless, he felt that Alistair deserved to know what happened.

The lunar beams of a full moon illuminated the skies clear of clouds. Compared to the garden that Sam had danced in hours ago, King's Park was dull and drab. Though what the park lacked in manmade sculptures and artificial landscapes, it made up for with a strong touch of nature. Crickets could be heard chirping along its walking trail and the pond nestled in the centre of the park was rife with living organisms. It was also the seclusive nature of the park that had led Sam to choose it as the perfect rendezvous.

As Sam neared the park, he quickened his pace as he noted a silhouette kneeling on the ground. As he closed his distance, he noticed that there were indeed two individuals – one kneeling while the other laying flat on the ground. His heart raced as he ran to the scene.

"Get away from him!" He shouted as his face contorted with anger. He shoved Shawn away as he took in the familiar figure before him, covered in blood. Shawn was limp and listless when Sam had pushed him away, hence with the violence embedded in Sam's force, he fell onto the ground. He laid stunned as he watched Sam shiver and quiver with tears brimming in Sam's eyes.

"We need an ambulance," Sam almost shouted into his phone as he attempted to steady himself while fixing his gaze on Alistair's stationery body covered in blood beside a baseball bat. Unable to recover from shock, Shawn laid motionless after Sam had pushed him onto the ground, away from Alistair. How did this happen?