The Pastel Cowboy - 15. A Crazy Sunday

Zach was awake, but didn’t want to open his eyes. He was tired, too tired to move, too tired to get up, too tired to respond to Bruce’s soft caress along his bare thigh, but he wasn’t too tired not to answer the morning call of a full bladder. He was hard, but didn’t care. He didn’t care about anything other than his deteriorating mental state. That he cared about a great deal. He was almost certain he needed to go somewhere, maybe a psychiatric hospital or ward, and get drugged into normalcy under professional supervision. The little white pills were great, but they did little to stop him from getting the episodes, they only cured an episode once it started.

He was confused, too. He couldn’t figure out where, or why, everything in his life had gone so horribly wrong. Where in his life had he made such a big mistake that he had to end up on the edge of a precipice with very few choices left. Give him a little bad news about someone he knew then wham he was falling. In some ways, going away didn’t sound like such a bad idea. Steven went away. Uncle David tried to go away. One of those little pills made him groggy. Two pills put him asleep. What would three, four, five, or the rest of the bottle do? He was certain the glass of water was still there. All he had to do was open his eyes and make that final choice to fall away.

He opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling, a ceiling he wasn’t going to be staring at ever again. He was in a word, pathetic. One big screwup after another and look where it had got him, he was nothing more than a pathetic excuse for a happy, excited teen on his way to bigger and better things.

The world would be a better place without him.

Only, Jeremy was going to cry for him. Jeremy was going to be devastated. Jeremy loved him, right? Or, was he only a passing fancy of some over rich, spoiled little boy who grew up physically, but was still only a little boy with a toy that was broken so bad no one was going to be able to fix it. It might take Jeremy a day or two to get over him.

The whole bottle, that was the only choice, now.

But, he needed to piss, bad.

And, Bruce was still caressing his thigh.

He was hard, too.

One last orgasm, that was another choice. Maybe he could convince Bruce to fuck him one last time.

Then he could call Jeremy and tell him he should find another boyfriend, so he wouldn’t cry for him.

But, he needed to piss.

He looked over to his side, but Bruce wasn’t there. He looked up and saw Paul smiling at him.

“Mornin’ kiddo, how’s my boy today?” Paul said as he patted Zach’s thigh.

Zach shut his eyes and tried to remember what he was supposed to do. He opened them for a moment and looked at the nightstand. The glass of water was gone. The pill bottle wasn’t there, either.

“Excuse me, got to pee,” Zach said as he rolled out of bed. He stood up and immediately realized that was his first incorrect choice of the new day. His eyes were fuzzy and his head became weightless as if nothing was supporting it. He sat back down and hung his head between his knees.

“A bit dizzy?” Paul asked.

“A bit. Where’s Bruce?”

“Fixing breakfast, I think he might be better than me.”

“Is that good?” Zach looked up briefly then sat back up. He wasn’t hard anymore, but the pain coming from his bladder told him he’d better do something soon or signals were going to get mixed up and he might need to do something else. “Excuse me, got to pee.”

When he came back, Paul was still sitting on the bed. He sat down next to him. Paul put his arm across Zach’s shoulders and he leaned into the offered comfort. He needed his life to be in order and didn’t know how to put all the pieces right, but at that moment he didn’t really care.

“I want you to know I was thinking of leaving,” Zach said cautiously. He thought of the admission after he said it. Was he really, honestly thinking of going away? Could he do that? It seemed like such a long time ago. A choice not made and the world suddenly becomes a different place.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I think I might need to take Doctor Cunningham up with her offer to drug me senseless for a time. I’m thinking crazy thoughts about how nice everything might be if I wasn’t around to screwup so much.”

“Oh?”

“I’m sorry I made things so bad Uncle David had to decide to leave, too. Do you think he’ll ever forgive me?”

“Wait, stop right there,” Paul said as he pushed Zach away from him. They stared at each other for a moment.

Zach felt a tear dribble down his cheek and he looked down at the floor. He was so pathetic it was a wonder people allowed him to fuck up their lives. He felt Paul pull him into a hug, a very tight hug, kind of like his mother used to do when his life took a horrible turn and no one liked him, before she heard he was gay and was an abomination unto the Lord. Abominations didn’t get hugs.

Zach wasn’t going to cry. That was for certain, but another tear dribbled down the other cheek.

“First of all it is not your fault David is depressed and doesn’t take his medications like he’s supposed to,” Paul said as he softly caressed the back of Zach’s head. “Secondly, I don’t want to hear anything more about you wanting to leave, whether to some nut farm Doctor Cunningham works at or thinking you can improve the world by leaving it. And, thirdly, I think you know there are a lot of people who love you very much and will be very put out if you should suddenly take the wrong exit.”

“How is he?”

“He’ll be in the hospital for a while, something about a thirty day observation period because he was almost on the wrong side of the railing. I guess the officer who saw him practically caused an accident by suddenly stopping and jumping out of his car. David was going over and the officer pulled him back. Rather forcefully, too. David broke his nose when his head slammed into the sidewalk.”

“Oh.”

“It’ll be alright, kiddo, everything is going to be okay, again.”

“I was trying to figure out when it was okay, but I couldn’t go back far enough. My life has been one big fuck up and I’m tired of it. I just want to go to sleep and not have to worry about anything for awhile. Is that okay?”

“Why don’t you lie down for awhile.”

“No, I’m hungry.”

“The stomach defeats the troubled mind, again,” Paul said as he released their embrace. He stood up and offered Zach a hand. “Do you know David used to stuff himself when he was really depressed? I got him out of that bad habit, but it seems he’s found a new way to deal with it, or, should I say, not deal with it.”

Zach allowed Paul to help him up and he followed him to the kitchen. Bruce was busy at the counter and the smell of vegetables and garlic cooking filled the room. Bruce was wearing an apron and nothing else.

“You really like being naked, don’t you?” Zach asked as he sat down at the table.

“Nude, remember?” Bruce asked. “Would Sunshine like a cup of coffee to get his day going?”

“Yeah, I’ll get it,” Zach said.

“Oh, no, I’m the cook,” Bruce said. “Black, right?”

“Unadulterated.”

“Always a big word,” Bruce said as he put the cup on the table in front of Zach.

“One thing you can say about Bruce is he has a great ass,” Paul said from over by the coffeemaker.

“I’m not supposed to notice it,” Zach said. He sipped the hot coffee and thought of how depressed he was only a few minutes earlier and, now, seemed much better. Or, was he? He looked at the coffee in the cup. “Bruce is the alpha male in our relationship. I don’t get to look at his ass. My concern is only with what’s up front, which ain’t all that bad.”

“I thought you said the word was airn’t?” Bruce asked as he poured an egg mixture into whatever was in the sauté pan.

“Tense, my dear Bruce, tense. Ain’t, airn’t, in’t.”

“In’t?”

“Yeah, in’t.”

“I don’t know if I want to be a farmer,” Bruce said as he stirred whatever it was he was cooking.

“Well, you certainly have a great plow, but I think we’re going to have to see if you can lay a furrow,” Zach said. He smiled at the thought of lying on his stomach under Bruce. Then he realized there might be something to keep him around for a while. Bruce might need some practice laying a furrow and he could help him out.

“Uh, guys, can we talk about something other than hot gay teen sex?” Paul asked. He sat down next to Zach and put an arm across the boy’s shoulders. “Feel any better?”

“Yeah, lots.”

“Did I miss something in the bedroom?” Bruce asked.

“No,” Zach said. He didn’t look up and was relieved Bruce didn’t pursue the subject. He didn’t see what Bruce and Paul were saying with their expressions, but was certain he was the subject of their silent conversation.

“Uh, I hate to ruin everyone’s morning, but we do have a problem,” Paul said. “Sally, you know Zach, your cousin, David’s daughter?”

“Oh, yeah, Sally,” Zach said as he tried to think back to the few times the Brandon’s came down to Oklahoma to visit their families and they stopped at the ranch for a few hours. They never seemed to stay long. Never for supper. Sally was years old than he was. Dickie, her brother, was an asshole. Of course, with a name like Dickie you’d have to be an asshole or a pushover. Dickie was an asshole. He liked Sally, though, because she seemed interested in him, even though he was just a little kid. They stopped coming when he was about ten.

“You know, kiddo, she told me about the time you fell on your ass in some cow shit,” Paul said. He ruffled Zach’s hair.

“Yeah, I was always falling on my ass, or face, in cow shit, pig shit, horse shit, or just plain ol’ pissy mud. Then I figured out how not to do it and could throw a football in any ol’ muddy field and became the greatest quarterback Carruthers High ever had. Fuck them assholes for fucking with my life.”

“Come on, kiddo, calm down,” Paul said as he rubbed Zach’s neck.

“Is there something I should know?” Bruce asked.

“No,” Zach said. He stared at the sauté pan this time, knowing the other two were looking at each other comparing notes with their eyes.

“Anyway, Sally and I were talking about what David is going to need in the next few months,” Paul said, “and, well, Zach, you’re going to have to move out, but before you zone out on us, I have the perfect solution. I still have my apartment over on Capitol Hill. It’s not as nice as this place, but I live frugally to begin with. And, Bruce and I were talking this morning, before you even thought of waking up, and he said he needs to find a place to live, too. So, I figured the two of you can move into my place.”

“And, this is the master bedroom,” Paul said as he opened the curtained French doors with a flourish.

“Wow! Look at all the mirrors,” Bruce said. He walked in and turned around and around looking at himself in the mirrored closet doors, dresser, and master bath door. Then he flopped down on the bed and stared up at himself in the mirrored ceiling. “It’s just like the whorehouses in the movies.”

“Well, not exactly,” Paul said.

“Yeah, but look at these paintings,” Zach said. “These definitely aren’t Indians and wildlife in the paintings in the other rooms. Jeez, these will certainly get you in the mood, but Paul, there aren’t any dicks showing.”

“Let’s your imagination wonder what’s going on,” Paul said. He went over to the bed and sat down beside Bruce. He lightly patted the boy’s thigh. “This is my room. This isn’t a party room. This isn’t a room where your guests can do whatever on the bed while watching themselves in the mirrors. This is my room. Understand?”

“Uh, yeah,” Bruce said. He looked over at Zach, who only shrugged.

Zach looked at both of them, but mostly at how Paul was focusing on Bruce. Paul was definitely directing all of his attention at Bruce. He smiled and saw the two of them on that bed sometime in the future, naked and doing naked things to each other. Yeah, they’d be naked. Just like Bruce said. Not nude, no naked; and, they’d probably ask him to bring them some orange juice afterwards and he would, but he’d have clothes on.

“Mission Control to Zach, Mission Control to Zach, are you there, boy?”

Zach stared at the painting over the headboard. It was Miles, Frannys father who he met on the trip down to Texas. He’d been a little younger than Bruce at the time of the painting. His feet were planted just like someone who’d finally gotten use to walking in cow shit and pissy mud. The glutes were taut and high up between the thighs just a hint of scrotum was showing. It was the eyes, though, that pulled you in. He wanted you right behind him. He was inviting you to stick your hard dick right up his ass. Everything about the painting said, “Fuck me, now!”

“Mission Control to Zach, Mission Control to Zach, are you there, boy?”

Zach looked back at the bed and Paul had an arm draped over Bruce’s shoulders, not in a comforting way, but more in a possessive manner. Yeah, they’d be naked; and, it wouldn’t surprise him at all if it was Bruce on top.

“He does that so well,” Paul said. “You’re going to have one hell of a time with him living here. You’ll have to keep bumping him to make sure he’s alive.”

“Are you talking about me?” Zach asked.

“Well, we were discussing how we’re going to arrange this,” Bruce said. “To make it legal and all. Paul is going to have his lawyer draw up some papers for us to sign and I’ll be the primary lessee. We don’t know what to call you, though.”

“I’ve always answered to Zach, but Dad always called me Hey Dumbfuck. I’ll come to whatever.”

“If you’re with us, that is,” Paul said. “Why don’t you come over and sit down?”

“No, I think you two have the bed pretty full right now. I’m going out to the living room.”

Zach turned and walked toward the door where he stopped for a moment to look back at the bed. Paul and Bruce were sitting there staring at him. Paul had one hand caressing Bruce’s neck and the other hand resting on a thigh up close to where there was just the hint of a hard-on in Bruce’s khakis. He turned and pulled both doors closed.

Across the hall from the master bedroom was a painting of a Choctaw boy Zach thought he recognized. He looked at the signature and saw “Paul Griffin ’87.” That was only a year after he was born. He stared at the face. It was so familiar. His mind searched through image after image of all the people he’d met or seen or ran into until he realized the boy was Nick Zucker, Billy’s oldest brother, who was fifteen when he was born. Billy had been a mistake, but Billy was Choctaw.

Zach turned to open the bedroom doors to ask Paul about the painting, but thought better of it. Paul and Bruce were probably very close to being naked and he didn’t want to interrupt. Paul would go very, very slow, encouraging Bruce, but not pushing him. It would be a subtle seduction and Bruce would be very, very happy and more than satisfied afterwards.

Zach walked out into the living room and looked at the view with the Space Needle and the Olympic Mountains in the distance. He’d never been up there, yet. Steven had said he’d take him, but they never got around to it, being too busy having sex all the time. He imagined it would be quite a place to fall from. No question about living after a fall from that height.

The apartment was already warm, there wasn’t any air conditioning. Paul said to keep the drapes closed during the day to keep out most of the heat, then after the sun went down, open the windows and you’d get good cross ventilation.

He took out his cell and sat on the sofa. Looking through his call history he found the number he was looking for and pressed talk. After a few rings a man’s voice said, “Hello?”

“Mr. McDonald, it’s Zach Alexander.”

“How’re you doing, boy?”

“Okay, sir.”

“Bud.”

“Okay, uh, Bud. But, I’m only saying that because you insist. I wasn’t raised to be personable with my seniors.”

“Okay, son, I’ll accept that. What can I do for you?”

“Can I call Jeremy and talk to him?”

“Why haven’t you already?”

“Well, because he’s on restriction.”

“Ah, yes, well, Jeremy has been a very foul mouthed, naughty little boy lately, and with Sara sneaking him out, it hasn’t helped his situation, but I never said you two couldn’t talk to each other.”

“But, I thought, well, Jeremy said, that, well.”

“We had an argument and, well, I said some things that shouldn’t have been said and I apologize if those words were conveyed to you. I had a long talk with your uncle and I may have had some erroneous information about you that created some incorrect opinions.”

“Okay, sir, uh, Bud, apology accepted, but I was a lot of those things you said about me and I know it was wrong for me to act the way I did, if you know what I mean.”

“Apology accepted and you have my permission to talk to Jeremy whenever you want, but you two will not be seeing each other until a week after Jeremy’s school starts. Is that clear?”

“Sir, I have not encouraged Jeremy to see me. In fact, I was the one who saw Sara’s car yesterday. I was going to call, but Uncle David said he’d do it.”

“Ah, I guess you do have a good head on your shoulders. So, like I said you can call him whenever you want and when you get together, maybe you can help him with his drivers test. He still hasn’t passed the written exam.”

“Maybe he’s not supposed to get a drivers license.”

“Well, I’m not chauffeuring him all over town.”

“Get him a bicycle.”

“You know, Zach, I really should get to know you better. You sound like you’d make a good parent. You know, I do have a granddaughter.”

“Yes, sir, she once mentioned I’d be good for her, but I’m not certain I can play on her side of the street, if you know what I mean.”

“Yes, well, I’ve got to go, it’s been nice talking to you Zach. Goodbye.”

“Goodbye, Bud.”

Zach leaned back on the sofa and wondered if he should call Jeremy. The other two were still in the bedroom. He wondered if they were naked, yet. He could walk in on them, sort of unexpectedly, sort of, “oh, excuse me, I didn’t expect you to be naked.” He stood up and started to close the drapes.

Zach’s help was definitely needed in moving most of his stuff to the new apartment. For reasons unexplained, Paul wanted Zach out of the apartment that day, so everyone pitched in. They left Zach at the apartment while Paul took Bruce home to get his stuff. When they returned, Zach helped them move everything up to the apartment and then Paul took Bruce grocery shopping, leaving Zach to do whatever at the apartment. They just didn’t trust him not to zone out on them; or, worse, be confronted with a serious decision, like whether he wanted canned or dry pinto beans or if he’d rather have red beans, and completely zap out and need a little white pill.

He sulked mostly. He thought of calling Jeremy, but he hadn’t since talking to Bud earlier and he saw no reason to hurry. It wasn’t as if he was going to actually kill himself that day. That moment had passed and he was no longer in the mood. Paul said people loved him, well, he had to admit that was possible. Paul liked him. Bruce liked him. Jeremy probably still liked him. He wasn’t certain of Sara, though, since he got her in trouble. Uncle David probably didn’t like him either for causing him to try to jump off the bridge. Bud said he liked him, but Zach didn’t believe him. Steven liked him, but Steven was dead and that didn’t count anymore.

After awhile, he simply zoned out on himself. He was in the apartment one minute and then in some sort of dreamland. At first he was aware that he was, physically, still in the apartment, but then as events began to unfold, he was no longer certain where he was. People were there he didn’t recognize and he wasn’t exactly certain where he was. The grass, which covered all the land, was yellowed from frost, but it wasn’t cold, almost balmy, he thought. A woman with a permanent smile, huge flabby breasts with nipples that poked through the fabric of her denim blouse, and smoker’s breath offered him a drink. It was purple, but he knew it wasn’t grape or some kind of berry juice. He tried to decline, but she kept offering as if he had to take it.

“Hey, kiddo, why don’t you go down and help with the groceries?” Paul asked.

Zach looked up at him. He’d heard every word. The woman, whose name was Veronica—Zach didn’t know how he knew her name because she hadn’t told him—was gone. The dreamland place was gone. He was still in the apartment.

“Zach? Are you okay?” Paul asked. He jostled the boy’s knee and waited for a response.

“Uh, yeah, you guys were gone an awful long time,” Zach said. “You need my help, sure I can do that.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah, I kind of did to myself that time. Wow, that was weird. Ever have a dream where you didn’t recognize anyone or where you were?”

“No, can’t say that I have.”

“Thought so.”

“Oh?”

“Must have been a crazy person’s dream.”

“You’re not crazy. I don’t want that kind of talk coming from your mouth, do you hear?”

“Sure, I heard you, but I don’t think the crazy person inside was listening. He doesn’t seem to listen to anything. Come on, let’s go help Bruce.”

Zach followed Paul and watched every step he made. For some reason, he couldn’t explain, he suddenly felt clumsy as if the slightest imperfection in the floor might trip him and send him flying. Once down to the street, Zach looked at the sidewalk and knew he couldn’t go out there. Paul walked out the door and Zach watched it close between them. He turned his back to the wall and lowered himself onto his haunches. He kept running witty explanations through his mind for not going out to the car. He tried to smile. He forced himself to smile.

Bruce came in with four plastic bags hanging from each hand and stopped in front of Zach.

“Do you want me to take those?” Zach asked.

“That would be nice,” Bruce said. “Are you okay?”

“No. I’ll tell you about it later.”

“Sure.”

When Zach got back downstairs, Paul and Bruce were standing at the elevator door when it opened. They were overloaded with plastic bags of groceries. Without saying a word, Zach reached in and took about four bags of each of them. They still had almost too many to manage, but Zach was having enough trouble with the few he had.

“Are you going to push the eight button?” Paul asked.

“Oh, sorry, I forgot,” Zach said.

“Are you going to snap out of that soon or do I need to do something about it?”

“What can you do?” Zach asked.

“You don’t even want to try me,” Paul said.

“Oh, okay,” Zach said. The doors opened and he followed them out watching where he put each foot before moving the next one forward. The going was slow, but he had to be careful.

“What?” Zach asked when he noticed Paul and Bruce watching him.

“What are you doing?” Bruce asked.

“I don’t know, I just have to be careful or I’ll trip.”

“Bullshit!” Paul yelled. “I told you to quit fucking around. You can beat this thing or it’ll take over and you’ll end up like David, or worse, like Steven. Now, get your act together or I’m calling Doctor Cunningham and have her send the men with the jacket.”

Zach looked at him and swallowed. Then he stepped forward and stopped. He shut his eyes and began counting. When he reached thirty he opened his eyes and saw he was alone in the hallway. It was do or die, take the torch and run for it, or give in to whatever it was that was trying to take over. He took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly. Then he walked to the door of the apartment. It was ajar and he nudged it with his foot. Paul and Bruce were in the kitchen sitting at the dinette. All of their bags had been emptied and put away. They were drinking what looked like beer from bottles.

“Well, we were beginning to wonder if you were going to join us,” Paul said. “Cold things in the refrigerator or freezer.”

“Put the other stuff on the counter and I’ll put it away later,” Bruce said. “Have a seat and I’ll get you an ale.”

“Can’t drink because of the medicine,” Zach said. “It’ll make me loopy.”

“You’re loopy already,” Paul said. “Do you have any idea how long you were out in the hall?”

“Maybe a minute, I just counted to thirty.”

“Make that thirty minutes.”

“Oh, fuck, I’m getting worse.”

“No, you’re not. You’re not getting worse. First of all, stop shutting your eyes and doing that counting shit. You were doing great until David got you started doing mental exercises. Maybe a little crazy, but not crazy like this. So stop it, now!”

“Okay, you don’t have to yell. What is this stuff? It sure isn’t beer.”

“It’s a brown ale,” Bruce said.

“Look at the label,” Paul said. “Figure things out for yourself.”

“Don’t talk like my father,” Zach said. “Moose Drool? That sounds absolutely hideous.”

“Did you try it?” Bruce asked.

“No.” Zach took a sip. Then knocked back a good swallow. “Hey, this isn’t bad at all.”

“Well, boys, I guess I’d better get going,” Paul said as he stood up. “I called your friend Sara and gave her directions. She said she’ll pick you two up at seven-fifteen, so be ready. Bruce, why don’t you walk me to the door?”

Zach watched them leave and stood up. He walked to the archway to the living room and peeked around the corner. Paul and Bruce were kissing. He turned and returned to his chair. He suspected that would happen, after all they’d had sex earlier. He was certain that happened.

Interestingly, Zach felt disinterested in this fact. It certainly made things easier for him, not having to worry about Bruce falling in love with him; and, with Bud giving him the go ahead to continue seeing Jeremy, he didn’t have to worry about Bruce taking a liking to his boyfriend. The only problem he could see, and it didn’t affect him in the least, was that Bruce was probably headed for a serious case of heartache when Paul dumped him. Paul was famous for his track record of dumped boyfriends.

“Well, he’s gone,” Bruce sighed when he walked into the kitchen.

“I saw you,” Zach said.

Bruce turned and stared at him.

“I don’t have a problem with you seeing Paul.”

“He’s going to paint me and you, too. He said he’ll make thousands more using two nudes.”

“That’s nice,” Zach said.

“You have a problem with this, don’t you?”

“No, I said I didn’t.”

“But, you do.”

“Yeah, I do.”

“And, don’t zone out on me. Let’s talk about this, now. Are we going to have sex?”

“Well, we’re sleeping in the same bed. It’s a queen size, but I suspect we’ll meet in the middle now and then. I suppose we’ll end up touching and then, well, you know what happens next. Will Paul mind if we’re having sex?”

“Will Jeremy mind?”

“Okay, Jeremy won’t understand and I’ll have to explain things so that he’ll grudgingly give some sort of permission.”

“What kind of sex did you have in mind?” Bruce asked. He sat down across the table from Zach. “How many times do I have to fuck you? Do we suck each other at night before we go to sleep, or in the morning before we piss away our hard-ons? Or, do you just want to sit in the living room watching porn and jacking off? What do you want from me? You’re the one with the insatiable sex drive.”

“Well, you’re the one who’ll be walking around without any clothes. What do you want? And, besides, what were you and Paul doing in the bedroom earlier today. Did he fuck you?”

“No, he didn’t do that to me.”

“Did you suck him?”

“No, I didn’t do that to him. I don’t think he came at all.”

“How many times did you come?”

“Twice in his mouth. Quick the first time and slow the second.”

“You know, he’s over twenty years older than you. He’s old enough to be your father.”

“Twenty-six.”

“Twenty-six what?”

“Twenty-six years older and he doesn’t want anything permanent. Just fooling around, like what we’re going to be doing. Just fooling around.”

“So, you’ll be doing Paul, and both of us will be doing you?”

“He said he’d like to do you, too. I won’t let him fuck me, but he knows you like a dick up your ass and since Jeremy isn’t fucking you, he thought maybe you’d like a more experienced dick.”

“Did he ask you to ask me?”

“No, we just talked about you. Mostly, about what’s going on with you. Are you hungry?”

“Let’s order a pizza.”

“I can make one.”

“No, I want unhealthy, greasy, takeout. There’s a place up on Pine, we could walk up there.”

“Do they deliver?”

“I suppose.”

“Call them, I like mushrooms and onions and Canadian bacon. I don’t like anchovies, black olives, or sun dried tomatoes.”

“Hey, I’m the simple country boy from Oklahoma, remember? We had three choices, cheese, pepperoni and sausage, and pepperoni, sausage, onions and red and green peppers; and, it came in a box and you heated it at home.”

“No real pizza?”

“Well, sure if you drove the twenty miles into Hannaford you could go to a Pizza Hut, but even there they were out of half the stuff. You know, when mountain oysters and scrambled calves brains are on the menu, you don’t get a lot of orders for Hawaiian pizzas.”

“Mountain oysters? What are they, some kind of shellfish?”

“No, testicles. In the spring when you and all the farmers around you are castrating calves, you end up with a lot of nuts on the table.”

“Ew! You’ve eaten testicles?”

“No, actually, I haven’t. Sounded too disgusting to me and Mom wouldn’t cook them anyway. Dad had to go down to the Cattlemen’s Association barbecue to get that stuff. I didn’t eat brains, either, or chitlins, or kidneys, livers, or hearts. I don’t eat by-products. If it’s on a pet food label, it in’t goin’ in this puppy’s tummy.”

“You know, Zach, you’re actually beaming. You look happier right now than you have all weekend. Almost makes me want to come over there and kiss you and do nasty, vile things to your young body.”

“What’d you have in mind?”

“Oh, I don’t know, you said I needed practice laying a furrow with my plow.”

“And, then we could have grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup.”

“Sounds good to me.”

Zach woke up early. Bruce’s hard cock was sandwiched between his butt cheeks and he must have been having a wet dream because the cock was giving mini-thrusts along his crack. Zach imagined how easy it would be to move slightly up to allow the tip to slip inside, but he didn’t want that. That was last night. What he wanted was a shower, shave, a light breakfast, and maybe, just maybe, he’d suck Bruce’s cock before brushing his teeth. That sounded like such a good idea, he quietly rolled out of bed and headed for the bathroom. Bruce moaned slightly and then rolled onto his back.

He felt renewed, as if getting out of the condo had changed him somehow for the better. He couldn’t put a finger on exactly how he felt, but he knew he wasn’t going to need those little white pills any longer.

He’d dreamt the night before, but all his dreams were about Jeremy. Bruce was in one of them, a strange little interlude between two heavy sex scenarios. Jeremy was fucking him and Bruce was fucking Jeremy. Afterwards, when everyone had shot gobs and gobs of cum—it never ceased to amaze Zach at the copious quantities of cum he could produce in a dream—Jeremy turned and touched Bruce on the chest and he disappeared. Zach remembered feeling a loss, as if a friend had gone away and was never to be seen again. Then he and Jeremy went at it again and all was forgotten and forgiven.

Zach looked down at his lathered erection and gave it a few tugs and thought of Jeremy as he shot thick ropes of cum onto the glass door of the shower. He opened his eyes and saw Bruce looking at him. They smiled and Zach made room for Bruce in the shower.

“Good morning,” Bruce said. “Sleep well?”

“Yes, very well, thank you,” Zach said. “Turn around and I’ll wash your back.”

“Which is probably the only time you’ll get that close to it,” Bruce said.

“Oh, I don’t know, you’d be surprised what I can do if I put my mind to it.”

“Sounds like someone did have a good night. God, Zach, what are you doing down there. Is that your tongue?”

Yes, thought Zach, this is my tongue and I’m licking your hole. In a minute, or so, I’m going to put my tongue in your hole. I don’t want to shock you, but I like doing this.

He would’ve said the words out loud, but his mouth was too busy dealing with the object of its desire. He hoped Bruce would use his own hand to take care of the other thing because they didn’t have a lot of time to fool around and that’s what this was, fooling around. It was nothing serious, nothing that was going to make them fall in love, just fooling around.

“Oh, god, Zach, stop or I’m going to want you to, oh, god, Zach, please stop. What’re you doing? Are you putting your tongue in there? Oh, jeez, Zach, please don’t.”

Yes, thought Zach, I’ve turned a corner and today will be a good day. Bruce will have an orgasm he won’t forget, I will talk to Jeremy, and later tonight, well, anything could happen.

“Zach, if you don’t stop I’m going to ask you to do something I don’t want.”

Yeah, thought Zach, I’ve got you now Mister Top, but we’re not going to do it now. We don’t have time.

Zach sucked one of Bruce’s testicles in his mouth and used his tongue to massage it. After a couple minutes, he came out from behind and put his mouth over the hot tip of the other boy’s cock. It exploded in his mouth and he was satisfied. Later that night before they went to sleep, though Bruce didn’t know it now, he was going to ask Zach to fuck him. He was going to beg, plead, and make unfulfillable promises just to have Zach take his cherry; and, Zach was going to take it very slowly, patiently allowing Bruce to enjoy the experience enough to desire it again, maybe enough to ask Paul to fuck him. Zach wasn’t too certain he liked the idea of Paul sticking his forty-six year old dick up his ass. He liked Jeremy’s sixteen year old dick much better.

“Damn, Zach, you do that to my ass too many times and I’m going to beg you to do me,” Bruce said after Zach stood up and they’d kissed.

“I only want to please you because you’ve been so good to me these past few days that I think I owe you big time. If that means making love to you, well, I guess I’ll have to do that.”

“Will you be gentle?”

“Of course, you’re a virgin. I don’t want to scare you off. I want you to like it as much as I do, if that’s possible.”

“Tonight?”

“Sounds, good, but you know we’d better hurry or we’ll be taking the bus to school.”

“Kiss me once more,” Bruce said as he rubbed one of Zach’s nipples with the tip of his forefinger. As they kissed he shoved his tongue down Zach’s throat, but the hot water ran out at that same moment throwing ice on their lust.