Durch Ferne Welten und Zeiten - 10. Chapter 10: Oliver Linden—Adam’s Story, and Casey

Chapter 10: Oliver Linden—Adam’s Story, and Casey

I

I had brought clothes only for a couple of days. I figured that either I’d be going home Sunday afternoon or I’d be in jail. TomTom took me to the Animus Mall, in Window Rock to get more clothes. When we entered the mall, I realized that we could be anywhere in the country: the stores were the same ones I would find at any mall in Atlanta. The only exception was the food court, where one of the fast food places was called Navajo Taco and another, Ya-Ta-Hey Burgers.

I bought some blue jeans, pullover shirts, socks, and underwear. TomTom wanted me to buy boxers, but I stuck with my usual jockey-style briefs. I’ve never understood the fascination with boxers. After shopping, we went to the food court. TomTom pooh-poohed the Navajo Tacos, but went along when I insisted on trying one.

We were sitting at a table in the middle of the court when I heard, “Stop, thief!”

A little boy was running from the Y-T-H burger place. He held a paper bag in one hand.

“Stop, thief!” This time, I saw who yelled. A man in a smock with the same logo as the burger place was running through the crowd. The boy scampered through the crowd, but could not dodge the foot that someone stuck into his path. He fell, hard.

The boy who had tripped him got up from his seat. He kicked the thief. Even over the hubbub of the food court, we heard him. “Yeah, fag, you’re busted. Really busted.” He kicked the boy, again. I gestured to TomTom. We moved toward the altercation.

The man in the smock had reached the boy. He grabbed his arm and yanked him to his feet. “You’re gonna go to juvie for this, punk.”

“Yeah, you little queer,” the boy who had tripped the little boy said. “You’re just right for juvie. You’ll like it there. All the dicks you can . . .”

By this time, TomTom and I were only a few yards away. The man in the smock slapped the thief—hard. “Juvie’s a good place for you, punk!” He back-handed the boy and had raised his arm to hit the boy again, but I grabbed it.

“You may not assault a child,” I said. “No matter what he has done.”

The man in the smock tried to twist from my grip. Meanwhile, the boy who had tripped the thief raised his foot as if to kick him again. “Tommy,” I said. “Stop him!”

TomTom grabbed the older boy’s foot, and then flipped him on his back. The boy fell: hard, but slapped the floor with his hand when he fell. TomTom stood over him.

I pulled the man’s arm behind his back. “You assaulted a child. Do not try to escape me; I will break your arm—in at least three places,” I said.

“Tommy, are we on the Res?”

Tommy looked startled, but then answered. “Yes.”

“Please call Uncle Joe and tell him we need backup.” I said.

Navajo Tribal Police arrived within minutes. “Tommy, you’d be the best person to deal with them,” I said, and pointed to the four uniformed officers. They were followed by two of the mall’s rent-a-cops who finally had responded to the reports of a ruckus.

I don’t know what TomTom said to the Tribal Police, but the lieutenant was polite when he asked me what was going on.

“This boy,” I pointed to the alleged thief, who was now clinging to TomTom, “may have left without paying for his food.

“The guy in the smock, who seems to be the manager of that burger place, cried thief, and started chasing the boy. Whatever the complaint from the food vendor, I will make it good.

“This boy,” I pointed to the one still on the floor, “tripped the boy who had been called thief, and then used vile language aimed at him. He also physically assaulted the so-called thief after he was on the ground.”

“The man in the smock physically assaulted the boy. I will sign and swear to anything necessary to see them arrested and prosecuted for both physical and verbal assault.”

The lieutenant nodded. “Sir, Captain Leaphorn asked us to render all possible assistance to you,” he said. “We will obey, of course; but, would you please tell us who you are?”

“Thank you, Lieutenant. You remind me of the need for harmony. It would not be right for you to be asked without knowing the reason or the requester.

“My name is Oliver Linden. Captain Leaphorn is my brother.”

The lieutenant raised an eyebrow, and then nodded. He gestured to his men, who pulled out handcuffs.

Tommy had taken the little boy back to our table, and was feeding him from Tommy’s own plate.

“I’m Tommy Chee,” he said. “What’s your name?”

“Adam,” the little boy said between bites. “Adam Begay.”

“Why did you run away without paying,” TomTom asked.

The little boy ducked his head. “I hadn’t eaten since Friday. I didn’t have any money. It was crowded. I thought I could get away.”

“Where are your parents, Adam?” TomTom asked.

The little boy looked everywhere except at TomTom. TomTom put his hands on the boy’s cheeks and gently turned his head until they were eye-to-eye. “Adam, please help me help you. Where are your parents?”

“It’s 12:00 o’clock, right? They’re more than falling-down drunk; by now, they’re passed-out drunk.” Tears poured from the little boy’s eyes.

“Adam needs a medical evaluation,” Oliver told the policeman. “But he doesn’t seem to like you a lot.”

Adam was cuddling with TomTom, and had cringed when the lieutenant approached. The man had enough sense to back away. He turned to Oliver for help.

“He seems to trust TomTom—Tommy,” Oliver said. “What if Tommy and I take him to the hospital? We’ll make sure you get a copy of the report. I’ll check with Captain Leaphorn and let him decide what to do, next.”

The lieutenant nodded. “That is logical and, given the captain’s trust in you, satisfactory, as well.”

The emergency room wasn’t busy; a doctor saw Adam within minutes of our arrival. When the doctor came back into the waiting room, he didn’t look at all happy. “Mr. Linden, this boy has been beaten, starved, and abused. I have notified the police. Please remain . . . ah, security has arrived. They will take you into custody and hold you until the police arrive.”

“Doctor, I thank you for caring for Adam, but I do not thank you for assuming that I am an idiot who would systematically abuse a child and then bring him in for a medical evaluation. We’re on the Res; the police you’ve summoned had better be Tribal Police, unless you want a real problem.”

It turned out that the doctor, a bilagaana, had called the state police and the FBI. Captain Leaphorn arrived first, and settled the question of jurisdiction. “Doctor, your heart is in the right place. No one should be allowed to abuse a child, much less to the extent that Adam has been abused. However, you are out of your league, here.

“The alleged crime took place in Navajo territory. The state police have no jurisdiction. The government of the United States has concurrent jurisdiction. That doesn’t mean that they are in command.”

He turned to the FBI Special Agent in Charge. “Sam, I will handle this.”

SAIC Sam Murr from the liaison office between the FBI and the Navajo Tribal Police nodded. “Come on, boys. False alarm for us; more paperwork for Captain Leaphorn is how I look at it.”

He added in a low voice, for Joe, only. “No glory for anyone, either. Not in a case like this. Any help you need, my friend, to bring these creeps to justice. Your justice or mine.”

Joe nodded, and then shook Sam’s hand. “Walk in harmony, Sam, wherever you can find it. When it seems far away, come visit, will you?”

Sam nodded, and then gestured his men from the waiting room.

Joe took TomTom and Adam home in the patrol car; I followed in the truck. I had turned in the rental car. We arrived at Joe’s house. TomTom was trying to get Adam out of the patrol car. The little boy had curled up on the back seat.

“You must hate me . . .” Adam whispered, and then fell silent.

“No, Adam. We do not hate you,” I said.

TomTom agreed. “Oliver doesn’t hate you; I don’t hate you.”

“But I’m queer! I’m a no good fag! I like to suck dicks! I like it when somebody sticks his dick in my butt! You have to hate me!”

TomTom looked at me and raised his eyebrows. I knew what he was asking. “Up to you, TomTom; you live here.”

TomTom pressed his lips together for a moment, and nodded. Then, “You’re not queer and you’re not a fag. You’re homosexual. Gay.

“Adam, Oliver isn’t just my friend; he’s my boyfriend. He and I like to suck dicks, too. And I really like it when Oliver sticks his dick in my butt.” TomTom giggled.

Adam’s face was a picture of surprise: his eyes were wide; his mouth was open. “You . . . you and Oliver . . . you’re queer, too?”

“No Adam, not queer. That’s a nasty word. We’re gay, just like you.”

“And you don’t hate me?”

“No Adam, we don’t hate you. If we hated you, we wouldn’t have helped you, would we?”

Adam shook his head. “But my parents hate me . . .”

The Tribal Police found Adam’s parents, just as he’d described. They were passed out, drunk, in the trailer where Adam said he lived. Adam’s father was sprawled in a recliner in front of the television, his gut protruded between worn blue jeans and a filthy T-shirt. The television was tuned to Judge Judith. Television, the officer thought, the opiate of the massives. He laughed. His partner asked what the hell was so funny, but the first officer could only shake his head.

Adam’s parents were in no condition to interfere as the police scoured the trailer. No food in the kitchen except cereal with an expiration date of two years ago, one noted, and photographed. What is that stink? the other wondered, until he found the dead rat behind the stove. He gestured to the officer with the camera.

“We gonna wake them up and cuff them?” one officer asked.

“I’m not going to carry them,” another said. “But let’s cuff them, first, and then wake them up. He looks mean.”

Adam was in the guest room. He’d cried himself to sleep, after some cuddles from TomTom. When he was sure Adam was asleep, TomTom came to his room where I was waiting. When we were settled under the sheet and cuddled, TomTom spoke.

“Oliver, I told Adam that you and I were boyfriends, but I know that’s not really right.”

It was not a question, but TomTom was quiet for so long, I had to answer.

“TomTom,” I said, “You are my nephew, and I could not love you any more than I do. You and I have shared, and sharing builds love. But, you are right. We are not boyfriends. I am ten years older than you. And, I will not be able to remain here forever.

“We were brought together for a reason. Once we have completed our task, we will separate. In the meanwhile, I will share with you; forever I will love you, but it will be a love that transcends sharing. Does that make sense? Is that something you can accept?”

TomTom rolled over and kissed me, and I knew his answer was yes.

The next day, we went to the Tribal Police Headquarters to be deposed. Talking about his parents’ neglect was rough on Adam. The police didn’t seem to know about the sex stuff, and I made sure they didn’t learn about it. Once we got back home, TomTom took Adam next door to play with Tommy’s cousins. I returned to the police headquarters, and asked if I might speak to the boy who had tripped Adam. His name was Casey. A few years ago, he had been in the same school as TomTom.

The sergeant in charge was happy to oblige, but warned me, “He’s stubborn. Hasn’t said a thing. His parents won’t bail him out; said he’s adult and has made his own bed. We’re holding him until Captain Leaphorn decides what charges to file.”

Minutes later, I was alone in an interrogation room with Casey. The boy glared at me.

“Tommy tells me your name is Casey, but that your kiva name is Ahiga: one who fights.”

That was enough to get him talking. “How do you know my true name?” the boy asked. “Tommy should not tell a bilagaana that!” He spit out the word for white man like it was a cat hair that had gotten on his tongue.

“Sorry to disappoint you, but I am not bilagaana. I am of the People. My true name is Gaagii.”

“Raven? You are Raven?” Casey asked. “You tell me your true name? Why?”

“They said it was because of my hair,” I replied, ignoring his real question. “And, yes. I am Raven of the Salt People. TomTom, Tommy to you, is my nephew. You know who his uncle—my brother—is.”

Casey nodded. I think he was stunned by what he’d heard. Then, he spoke. “I am Ahiga. That name is not of my choosing. The shaman gave it to me after my vision quest. My spirit guide is an eagle. I watched Eagle as he fought a demon, a skinwalker—something not human. The eagle won. The shaman said it meant I was to be a great warrior, but it’s not happening!”

“Casey, you’re how old? Sixteen, Tommy told me.” The boy nodded. “You know some martial arts; I saw that when you fell after Tommy grabbed your foot. Maybe you’re still on the path to being a warrior,” I said. He shrugged.

“Casey, I was two years older than you are now when I joined the Army. I spent a year training nearly every day, and then three years in the Middle East, fighting nearly every day. It took that long before I really knew what it was to be a soldier.

“I’ve been out of the Army for only two years. I still remember. Would you like me to tell you?”

Casey nodded, and we spent the next two hours talking about my Army experiences. Then, I asked the boy, “Do you think you can wait a little while to learn?” He nodded.

There was something else to settle. “There is one more thing. You called Adam queer and said he was a fag. He said he sucked your dick, and you liked it. He said you sucked his, too. Doesn’t that make you the same thing you were accusing him of being?”

The boy blushed, and then lowered his head to look at the floor. “Don’t like that, do you?” I asked. The boy shook his head. I could tell that he was miserable.

“Ahiga,” I said. The boy looked up, his eyes widened. It was the first time I had called him by his true name.

“Ahiga,” I said again. “We are brothers. Yet, Adam is also our brother. You have put me in a difficult place. A brother has hurt a brother, has broken harmony, and I do not know how to deal with this.”

Casey looked at his feet, again. “I do not want to break harmony. I do not want to hurt Adam.”

“You have been initiated into kiva. You are 16. You are an adult. You have had sex with a child.” I looked at the boy. “That is a violation of both the bilagaana law and the tribal law.”

Casey nearly collapsed. I caught him before his head hit the table. I wrapped my arms around him just to keep him from falling. I was surprised when he hugged me, dropped his head on my shoulder, and cried.

“They’re going to send me to juvie, aren’t they?”

You’re an adult. You assaulted a child. Even if they don’t find out about the sex, you’ll probably go to the federal penitentiary in Yuma. But you don’t deserve that. That does not serve harmony or justice! How do I convince Joe? I thought this, but could not say it. I was saved from this decision when the door to the interrogation room opened and the guard beckoned to me.

Joe and TomTom were waiting outside the interrogation room. Through the one-way glass, I saw that Casey was still at the table. He’d stopped crying, but looked thoroughly miserable. I explained to Joe what I wanted.

“I do not understand,” Joe said. “He has broken harmony. He has broken our law and state law. Yet you wish to spare him punishment.”

“Not exactly,” I replied. “I think that he has punished himself enough, and that nothing we could do would serve any purpose. He hurts, inside where it counts, because he has hurt Adam.”

“You know this?” Joe asked me. I nodded.

“I know it, too, Uncle,” TomTom said. He took my hand, perhaps looking for strength; perhaps looking only for approval. Perhaps it meant nothing, but I really didn’t want to believe that.

“Casey is probably gay,” TomTom said. “But he’s not had the support, the love, to accept that. He’s stuck in the beliefs of the bilagaana: that gay is bad; that gay is a choice; that gay is a phase or a fad. He is our brother, but he has not been given our beliefs.

“He is in a bad place. We cannot leave him there. He is not in harmony; he disturbs our harmony. Besides,” TomTom blushed, and then said, “He really was a nice boy, before.

“Let me talk to him,” TomTom asked. “Please?”

Joe nodded. “Oliver? Will you go with Tommy? This was your idea, but I will do as TomTom says.” Tommy gasped, and then glowed when he understood what his uncle had said.

Casey stood when TomTom and I entered the interrogation room. Casey glared at Tommy, but I think he might have smiled at me, maybe for an instant, maybe.

TomTom cut to the quick. “My Uncle Jim Chee is a shaman. I study with him. I learn much. I see your future. I see you lying, drunk, outside the trailer where you live by yourself. I see you trying to crawl to the door, and up the steps. I see you passing out on the steps. I see the snow as it falls onto your face. At first, it melts. Then, as your face grows colder, the snow clings, and then covers you.”

“No!” Casey cried. “No! Please! I don’t want to die alone like that! Please tell me what to do!”

TomTom shrugged. “I cannot tell you what to do. Only you can say. But today is the last chance you have to decide.”

Casey fell to his knees. He covered his face with his hands, and cried. Great whooping gasps echoed from the walls. I knelt by him and put my arms around him.

“Shh, shh, Ahiga, warrior,” I said. “If that is not what you want, then you must change it. You must change it. Do you understand? I cannot; TomTom cannot. Only you can.”

I whispered these words over and over until they seemed to sink into the boy’s mind. As the words penetrated, they also released the tension in Casey’s body. Gradually, he melted into my arms.

The ceremony was over. Casey, whose true name is Ahiga, was now a brother not only in kiva, but also in clan. He had a new family. Since he was an adult, he was not adopted under the white man’s law. By the People’s customs, Uncle Jim and his husband had taken Casey into their family.

TomTom’s Dream II

When we got home, TomTom was especially happy, and our sharing was very special. That night, however, TomTom’s screams woke me. He was having a nightmare. I woke him and cuddled him until he stopped shaking. Finally, he spoke.

“Oliver, do you remember my dream? I said I recognized one of the boys who were running from the fire with Uncle Jim. It was Casey. I didn’t remember that until I saw him at the mall. I’ve been hiding that from you and Uncle Joe and Uncle Jim because I was so afraid.

“I knew that Casey was a good boy. I also knew that he would be with Uncle Jim and my family when they go to the new world. I was so afraid if I told anyone I had seen him in a dream, I would mess things up.

“I saw the rest of the dream, tonight. It hurts to tell you, but I must. When we reached the new world, I saw Casey and me, standing on a hill, looking at a lake, watching deer drink there. We were holding hands. We kissed; we were boyfriends.”

Tears poured down TomTom’s face. “I did not see you anywhere, Oliver.” The boy was crying so hard he could scarcely talk. “I didn’t see you!”

I hugged Tommy tightly and kissed the tears from his face. He calmed down enough that his crying was only an occasional hiccough. “TomTom,” I said. “Please do not be afraid. We all have different tasks in this life. We all have different roles to play. We all have different ends. I will play my role; you will play yours.

“I’m happy that you and Casey will become boyfriends. He really is a nice boy. He will be a great warrior; you will be a great shaman. I will be what I will be.

“You know that I cannot stay here forever. I have family, friends, and a home in Georgia. You and I will always be family; I hope that we will always be friends.”

TomTom kissed me. We cuddled. I woke the next morning with TomTom nestled in my arms.

Adam’s Story II

“You’re Mr. Linden?” The woman’s nametag had the Navajo logo and the name, “Mary Begay, RN.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Oliver said. “You’re from Family Services?”

Mary opened a card case and handed Oliver a business card. “Yes, I’m here about Adam Begay . . . no relation . . . not a close relation. What can you tell me?”

“You didn’t get a case file?” Oliver asked.

“I did; but I won’t read it until I hear firsthand all I can. Case files start as summaries of witnesses’ statements, doctors’ reports, police reports, and so on. Something always gets lost in the translation, and they are not always as accurate as I’d like. Please? Tell me what you know.”

“Sure, Ms. Begay—”

“Mary, please.”

Oliver nodded. “And I am Oliver. Here’s what happened.

“Tommy Chee, nephew of Joe Leaphorn, and I were in the Animus Valley Mall. I’m visiting Joe and Tommy, and needed a few things. Tommy and I had stopped for lunch in the food court when I heard someone crying out, ‘Stop, thief.’ ”

“I’m sorry,” she interrupted. “You said you heard this. Did Tommy not hear it, too?”

“Almost certainly; however, I assume you’ll want to talk to him, as well? Get his impressions and story first-hand?”

“You’re right, of course,” Mary said. “I was just surprised. Please . . .”

“I saw a boy who looked about 10 years old running through the food court. I later learned his name was Adam Begay and that he was nearly 13 years old. He had a paper bag in his hand. Later, I saw that the bag had the logo of the Y-T-H burger place on it. I saw a man running behind the boy. The man was wearing a smock with the same logo. The man continued to cry, ‘Stop, thief.’ It appeared that he was chasing the boy. I later learned the man’s name was Dale Earnhart.

“A boy whose name I later learned was Casey Brown Deer stuck his foot into the path of the running boy. Adam fell. Casey got up and kicked Adam, twice. Mr. Earnhart reached Adam, grabbed his arm, slapped him once open handed and once back-handed with a closed fist. Adam fell to the floor.

“By this time, Tommy and I had reached the scene. Casey had drawn back his foot as if to kick Adam, again. I instructed Tommy to stop Casey. Tommy took Casey’s foot and tumbled him onto the floor. Mr. Earnhart had grabbed Adam, again, and had drawn back his arm as if to hit the boy. I subdued Mr. Earnhart and asked Tommy to call his Uncle Joe, who is a captain in the tribal police.

“Tribal policemen arrived, followed by mall security personnel. I explained what had happened. The lieutenant in charge arrested Casey and Mr. Earnhart and asked Tommy and me to come to headquarters to sign depositions. I suggested to him that Adam needed medical attention, and asked if Tommy and I could take him to the hospital. You see, Adam was quite upset. He was holding on to Tommy, tightly. When the lieutenant tried to talk to him, he cowered, and pressed his head into Tommy’s chest. The lieutenant agreed, and charged us to bring Adam to headquarters, later.

“We took Adam to the hospital. The examining doctor told me that the boy showed signs of neglect and abuse, including abnormally low weight and height for his age, suggesting chronic malnutrition. The doctor summoned the state police and the FBI; however, after Captain Leaphorn arrived, it was agreed that the Navajo Nation had jurisdiction.

“We brought Adam to Captain Leaphorn’s home, where he spent the night. We took him to police headquarters the next morning. He was interviewed. Tommy and I stood in for his parents who, by this time, had been arrested.”

“You were his adult advocate? That’s not proper procedure. It should have been someone from my office. At the very least, it should have been a member of the People,” Mary said.

“I was told that your office hadn’t responded to several phone calls,” Oliver said. “Tommy is an adult; and I am a member of the People. I’m Joe’s brother and Tommy’s uncle . . . adopted.”

Mary nodded. “Again, you surprise me. Please continue.”

“Tommy and I dictated our depositions; signed them; and then came back here. Adam and Tommy are at Tommy’s aunt’s home, next door, playing with Tommy’s cousins. Would you like to see them?”

“I’ve seen this before,” Mary said. She, Joe, Sam Murr, and Oliver sat on the porch, drinking iced tea and watching the boys play. “A broken boy bonds with another boy. He won’t bond with an adult, because he’s been mistreated by adults. He doesn’t trust them. Adam trusts Tommy. He may come to trust Oliver, because Oliver was his rescuer. I cannot place Adam in a foster home without removing him from a place he feels safe: your home, Joe.”

Joe answered the unspoken question. “He may stay. Tommy is home-schooled. Adam will be, as well. Tommy has duties that require travel with me throughout the nation; Adam will accompany us. When I am not home, my sister who lives next door will look in on the boys. Tommy is an adult by initiation into kiva. Will all this be satisfactory?”

Mary nodded. “Yes, it will. Thank you, Joe. There will be some paperwork for you to sign. I’ll bring it by tomorrow, if that will be all right?”

Joe nodded.

“Walk in harmony,” Mary said.

“You bring us harmony,” Joe said.

TomTom had gone to his Uncle Jim’s for secret shaman things that I could not see. I went to bed in TomTom’s room. I was almost asleep when I heard the door open. I heard the patter of small feet, and a warm body slipped under the sheet. Adam! I thought.

“Unca’ Oliver,” he whispered. “Will you stick your dick in my butt?”

My heart raced, and I felt my face get tight, a sure sign that the hypertension that underlay my medical discharge had kicked into overdrive. I sat up and turned on the reading light.

“Adam, I can’t do that,” I said.

“Why not? It can’t be that big,” he said, and flipped back the sheet to look. I was erect. I attributed that to the hypertension, by the way, even though that’s medically counterintuitive. “You’re just a little bigger than Casey,” Adam said, and reached for my penis.

I intercepted his hand. “Adam, it’s not that it won’t fit. It’s that you are a child and I am an adult. Right now, TomTom is my boyfriend. Right now, you are entrusted to the care of my brother Joe and my nephew TomTom. You should have a boyfriend your own age, or close to it.

“That makes at least four ways to break harmony if you and I had sex. Do you understand that?”

The little boy’s lips twisted in a sneer. “I told you that you hated me!” He dug his head into a pillow that did nothing to muffle his crying. His body shook with sobs.

I lay down beside him, and pulled him into a cuddle. “I don’t hate you, Adam. I don’t hate you. I love you. I can cuddle you; I can hug you. But I cannot have sex with you.”

“But Tommy said you liked it!” he said.

That wasn’t what I wanted to hear, but at least he had stopped crying. “Adam, liking it isn’t enough. Have you ever seen a pair of dogs making puppies?”

“You mean fucking?” he asked.

“Um, yeah,” I said. Adam nodded.

“About how long did it take?” I asked.

Adam giggled. “About five seconds.”

“If I stuck my dick in your butt and shot after five seconds, would that be any fun for you?”

“No.” He drew out the word, turning it into a question.

“The dogs have sex to make puppies. Boys can’t make babies with other boys, so they have sex for fun. More important, they have sex to make bonds of friendship and love.

“TomTom and I were friends for almost two years before we had sex. We knew each other; we knew we would like each other. TomTom is also an adult. Adam, I’ve known you for only three days. If we are allowed to know each other for another year or two, and if we’re still friends, and if you are initiated in kiva and are an adult, and if TomTom and I aren’t boyfriends, and if you haven’t found your own boyfriend, you may ask me again—if you still want to. Until then, cuddles and hugs, only.

“But . . .”

“That’s the rule, Adam. I’m sorry. I don’t want to hurt you, but that’s the rule.”

The little boy sighed. “Okay,” he said. He lay down and curled up. “Cuddles!” he demanded. I turned off the light, and curled around him, holding him as his breathing slowed and he fell asleep.