Bad Seed - 4. Chapter 4

Making his way into the store, Kyle headed directly towards the Playstation 2 game section, taking a quick glance at the new Playstation 3 games on his way. Kyle had just gotten an Xbox 360 from his dad a few months back and was satisfied with that, the new PS3 could wait. Browsing through the new games, he was pleased to come across the very game he was after. He couldn’t wait to see if the guys could actually make out with each other. Not to mention it was one of those random violence type games, he could picture himself spending a lot of time on this game in particular. As much as he was into his potential new game, he hadn’t yet forgotten about Nathan and his sister.

Pretending to look over a few more of the games, he took a few casual glances around the store. He spotted Nathan and his sister trying out one of the demos they had set up in a corner. He figured now would be a good time to head to the register and make his purchase; perhaps they wouldn’t even notice him while they were having fun. Nobody else seemed to notice him when they were having a good time; and it wasn’t that he had anything against the kid. He’d avoid anyone from school just as adamantly. It was always this whole awkward thing run into classmates outside of school. Were they going to make a scene and call him all those names? Were they going to ignore him completely as though he didn’t exist?

Approaching the register, he had his cash ready in hand hoping to make the transaction move as quickly as possible. The cashier was an older guy, who looked to be in his late twenties or early thirties. He seemed nice enough but it became apparent quickly that he was going to make this a little more difficult than it had to be. “So do you have one of our member ship cards?”

“No, it’s ok thanks.”

“You know with a membership you get a 10% discount on all new games, and a one year guarantee on all used games. Plus a one year subscription to the gaming magazine of your choice.”

“Yeah, I know! …..I mean thanks but I’m not interested I’d just like the game please.”

“Sure thing.”

Kyle stood patiently as the man removed the security device from the game and began to place his item into a bag.

“Hey, guess I ran into you again, only a little less awkward this time.”

“Oh I don’t know about that…” Kyle muttered to himself.

“Huh?”

“Nothing, so…..you play video games?” Kyle was already feeling more than awkward. Does he play video games? Jesus, you idiot! You’re in a videogame store….that’s all they sell!! What kid our age doesn’t play videogames…dork. He wanted out of this situation now but seeing Nathan’s sister approach he could tell this little encounter wasn’t yet at an end.

“Yeah, I picked up that new game Bully last week, heard a lot of good things about it online. It’s pretty cool, have you played it? You wouldn’t believe some of the stuff you can do…” Nathan continued. Kyle was growing anxious while he went over any and every reason he could think of to make a fast exit. He began looking around the store as Nathan continued on. It was then that he must have noticed the deep bruises and scrapes on the side of Kyle’s face.

“Jesus! What happened to your face?” asked Nathan. Kyle immediately dropped his gaze to the floor and turned away from Nathan as best he could without making a big deal over it.

“Haha I guess everyone isn’t meant to board like Tony Hawk, he’s broken nearly every bone in his body so I guess I’m lucky by comparison.” replied Kyle

“Yeah, I guess so, I used to board too, took a lot of spills but always managed to protect my face…..most skaters do.”

“Yeah, I was being dumb trying a really crazy trick.”

“Oh yeah, what were you working on?” questioned Nathan. Just then Kyle decided to divert the conversation and spoke up as Nathan’s sister finally joined them. He wasn’t looking forward to further interaction with either of them but right now he’d do anything to change the subject.

“Hey, you just about ready to go dork?” Asked the girl as she came to stand beside Nathan.

“Yeah yeah, was just talking to this guy, we kind of collided today at school.” Nathan laughed.

“Yeah, I know you I think, well at least I heard about you.” Kyle’s heart jumped up into his chest at those words. There was nothing anyone anywhere had to say about him that was good. Now people he’s never even met are sharing in his school’s cruel and twisted view of him. “You must be looking forward to track season this year. They said you took silver last year at the regional. Track was pretty big at our old school too.” A deep sigh left Kyle as he realized that at least for the moment his fears were misplaced.

“Uh yeah…I mean no. I did place 2^nd last year in the 100 and our team was 3^rd in the 4 x 100 but I don’t think I’ll be trying out this year.” said Kyle.

“Oh really, how come?” asked the girl. She received a quick elbow to the side from Nathan as they both witnessed the change in Kyle’s demeanor. “Ouch! Jerk, what was that for?”

“Nothing, Cheryl just….anyways, I think we better get going.” stated Nathan, trying to resolve the awkward situation.

“…Yeah I need get home too, see you later guys” said Kyle quickly moving past the two.

“…um did I miss something? Or was that last bit a little weird? And did you see his face?” asked Cheryl turning to Nathan.

“Who knows...” replied Nathan as they both turned to leave the store as well.

Kyle was walking home, taking his usual route. It went past the library and through a couple of alleys that let out right in front of the high school. From there he’d just walk down the three or four blocks to his house. Approaching the school from the alleyway he was glad that school had been out for a couple of hours. Even though there were a few students here and there, he wasn’t likely to be harassed by anyone. Continuing down the street he passed the football field. He saw a number of students sitting in the grass in the center of the field while the cross-country coach addressed them. He was never a cross-country runner, more of sprinter; but to Kyle cross-country season always meant track season wasn’t far behind. And the thought of missing out on all of that was more than a little depressing.

It was never about being cool or popular but he’d be lying if he said that wasn’t a plus. In truth it was his favorite sport because it was one of the few that were based on the individual. Basketball, football, soccer, volleyball, and all the others were team sports. He enjoyed them as well, but track and field was different. From the time you got dressed to the time you were crossing the finish line you were alone. There was also a team aspect but Kyle preferred to think of it as something he did on his own. Each event was scored and marked individually and even though the school would win or lose based on their overall scores for the event, it was the individual who contributed to and received the scoring. There were plenty of track meets that his school lost but overall Kyle was always happy in the end to be on the other side of that start line. As long as he could stand there knowing that he had given his all; that he pushed just a little harder than everyone else he was able to be proud of himself.

Jacob had always been the one who loved team sports. In fact, the major reason Kyle got into basketball was simply for another excuse to see his cousin a few times each year. They weren’t in the same league but at invitationals and tournaments their teams always went up against each other. It was always a lot of fun, and as much as he enjoyed track he did like hanging out and playing with the other guys on his team. So much had changed so fast. Jacob was dead; something that was never ever going to make sense or stop hurting. There was no hanging out before school with his best friend just to end up right back at Martin’s house for the rest of the night acting as though they hadn’t seen each other in weeks. And school, something he used to look forward to was now the place he hated most. All around him there was nothing but reminders of how things used to be such a short time ago and how much that had all changed. He actually used to enjoy school. Most kids act as though school is the worst idea ever put into action but in truth school was where all your friends were everyday of the week. Without the hassle of homework it wasn’t all that bad.

Now that all that was gone, Kyle had been spending a lot of time rethinking things. There wasn’t going to be a homecoming for him, no prom, no parties, nothing. They’d never let him enjoy any of that. It was all so stupid. He’d lost so much so quickly and now he had to decide whether or not to hang on to the few things he had left that made him happy. It was so strange to have to think about something like that. Do I want to be attempting to be at least somewhat happy or do I want to just fall into the background and make things easier for myself? Take whatever they throw at you with your head to the floor never meeting them in the eyes. Hoping that things won’t get any worse and perhaps that your tormentors will forget about you in time. Or stand up to them and live your life in a way that you can be proud of. The latter of the two would be the much harsher route to take. It would require a lot of change on his part. Even as the thoughts bounced around in his head he knew he’d already chosen.

Like most times in his life when he was having trouble or facing a problem he’d think about what Jacob would have done or said to him. And at the moment he wasn’t sure of either. They’d talked once about the differences in their favorite sports. And once again it all came down to their personalities. Jacob was much more outgoing and loved to be around people. Kyle wasn’t necessarily an introvert but he put much more value in accomplishing and enjoying things on his own. “Yeah I hear you Jacob, but the thing is with basketball, one person fails, the whole team loses. On the track I can win all by myself. It’s just different you know: the success of one person doesn’t have to be dependant on anyone else.” Remembering himself speaking those words to Jacob he was more than convinced of his decision. The outcome may not be nearly as obvious or straight forward as coming in first or second on the track; but all the same he could win or lose based on his efforts and not depend on anyone else to decide how happy he could or couldn’t be. A lot of things had to change.