Bad Seed - 7. Chapter 7

“Kyle…Kyle! Wait up man.” shouted Brian as he came running through the school doors.

Kyle didn’t pause, and didn’t turn back to look at Brian. It seemed as though he was completely unaware of the boy running to catch up with him. As Brian came to walk along side Kyle, it was only then that Kyle spoke.

“Go away…”

“Where are you going?” What are you going to do?” asked Brian, staring sideways at Kyle, who for the most part had cast his view to the sidewalk.

“Brian you need to get away from me, now!”

“I know you’re pissed but don’t take it out on me, ok.”

“…do you want them to see?”

“See what?” replied Brian confused.

“You should go back…don’t want everyone to know you are friends with the faggot.” Hearing this Brian missed a step as he continued with Kyle.

“Shelia saw what happened to Martin’s car, a few weeks back. I noticed he was getting rides to school this week but didn’t think much of it, until she told me.”

“Sheila…the blonde, black lipstick?” asked Kyle

“Yeah that’s her, she….”

“She always did have a big mouth.” said Kyle obviously not in the mood to talk.

“Something happened before that right. You missing school, cutting your hair…Martin did something to you right?” For the first time since they’d began talking Kyle looked up to meet eyes with Brian. And in his eyes, Brian saw nothing but pain and anger. He held that stare for sometime before Kyle’s returned to the sidewalk.

“Brian?”

“Yeah?”

“Fuck off! Ok?” said Kyle as he continued walking. Leaving Brian confused and insulted.

The walk home had never seemed so long. It was unexplainable, the feelings surging through him. To be honestly and truly assaulted, harassed, belittled, and discriminated against…is something not many people can relate to. And to have all those things, be not only allowed to happen, but be accepted and even cheered, is a feeling that can’t easily be described. Imagine someone walking up to you in the middle of your everyday activity and spitting in your face. Your friends don’t stand up for you, your family is ashamed of you for it, and you loose your job, or get kicked off the team at school. All because of something that was done to you, rather than something you did. The term second-class citizen doesn’t seem to do it justice at times.

Cars passed by in the street as Kyle pushed on towards home, or at least home was the first thing that came to mind. He raised his head to glance at some of the passing cars, at the people in them. And wondered what the worst part of their day would be. Everyday seemed worst than the last for Kyle and it was hard to recall the worst part of each day. The best parts usually being when he was asleep. A few weeks back he was actually pushed down the steps by a couple of idiots. He was more humiliated than he was hurt as they laughed it off and justified their actions by calling him a faggot. Being slammed into lockers, being laughed at, having things thrown at him and having his things damaged were everyday ordeals.

The little things, they remind you how bad things are, but they roll off your shoulders. They go in one ear and out the other; leaving no lasting mark. They may hurt, be embarrassing and insulting, but you can get pass them. It’s things like today that leave their mark. There’s no going back from the time FAG was painted across your locker. You’ve read it before in the news, seen it on television but that was just one article and one show. You put the paper away when you were done with it and changed the channel when you were done watching. For the individual, the victim, there’s no putting it away, no changing to a new channel. As they say, what’s done is done. Ever notice you never here that about good things.

As he was watching the cars go past, he noticed a man carrying a small child in his arms. The little boy was laughing his head off as his dad made silly noises. The type of noises that only a child can cause a grown man to make. As he watched them go into the house and he continued walking, he couldn’t help but wonder; Would they still be so close in a few years if the boy turned out to like other boys? Would that father still work so hard to make him smile? Would the boy still manage to smile like that? Suddenly Kyle wasn’t so sure home is where he wanted to go. His father wasn’t home so that was not the problem. At home, he would just be locked in his room with his thoughts. At least out here in public he was subconsciously forced to keep his composure. He moved past the turn that would have lead towards his house and kept on towards the basketball court.

It was the middle of the day, no one was really around and the few people that were walking by the courts didn’t care much that some kid was skipping class, or perhaps they didn’t even notice him. He moved past the fences and onto the court releasing a sigh as he did. He headed towards the far end of the court and sat on the ground right under the basket. In no time his mind was wandering in a dozen different directions.

“Man I can’t believe we played ball all afternoon. It’ll be getting dark in a few hours.”

“Yeah I could drink an ocean right now Kyle”

“ Is your mom still upset?” he responded laughing.

“I know she is, she only found out this morning.”

“What did she say when she got home from work?”

“….I haven’t been home yet”

“Seriously? She’s gonna rip you a new one”

“Yeah, it’ll be bad at first but she’ll calm down and in a day or two things will be ok again.

“Well, you’re braver than me, seems like you’re just making things worse.

“I figure it’s already gonna blow up in my face so why rush it? I just want to hangout with my cousin and play ball as long as I can,” replied Jacob. Kyle laughed as he began to dribble the ball again “Come on lets just play till the sun goes down.”

“You mean play til doomsday,” laughed Kyle

“Let me worry about that, Lets play”

Letting out another sigh Kyle slowly gathered himself from the ground and made his way out of the enclosure of the basketball courts. It dawned on him as he began on the path home, that ‘home’ was his only option. There was a overwhelming weight barring down on him. It threatened to crush his resolve and stoic stance with every step. He felt as though he was walking around on borrowed time. That at any moment he’d loose it and break down. There was nothing and no one he could go to, nothing and no one that could make him feel better or help him make sense of things. This wasn’t exactly an epiphany, but having faced what was easily the worst day at school ever! It just seemed even more unfair; that even home couldn’t offer him some solace. Home wasn’t exactly his favorite place in the world lately these days. The evening air was quickly becoming cool, as the sun had set long ago; the cold air seemingly accenting the feelings washing over Kyle as he approached home.