KENNY - 6. Chapter 6

If the finding of Bro. Simon’s body rocked the town, the impact on the Marist College was utterly devastating. Students and staff were in shock and counselors were dispatched quickly to try and alleviate the trauma. The matter was made worse when details of the murder were somehow made known to the public. A note had been found near the body; in it Bro. Simon admitted to the rape and murder of Ruth Jalla. His genitals had been cut off and shoved down his mouth . . . an obvious message: Nauseating.

And of course, the indigenous spear which had pierced his heart obviously pointed to a revenge killing. Tom Fitzpatrick joined Gloria and Laurie Cree at the crime scene which was being thoroughly examined by the forensic team. Whilst Gloria and Cree were questioning the forensic squad, Fitzpatrick walked carefully around the body before examining the deceased.

Something doesn’t add up, (he mused) finding a note carefully placed beside the body, supposedly an admission of guilt, and a spear through the heart, supposedly causing death, seems an attempt to confuse the investigation team. The genital mutilation is to be ignored; someone is being overly dramatic. But why leave a note? Surely the perp knows that we’ll take a DNA sample and compare that with the sample found on the abbo girl?

Gloria came over and asked, ‘What do you think, Sir? There seems to be a lot of conflicting evidence.’

‘Make sure the forensic gang take a DNA test and get them to rush me the result. If the note is true, then we’ve found the killer of the abbo kid. I just don’t understand Gloria why a note was left anyway. I want them to go over the note carefully; something tells me that we may have two perps at work.’

‘Yes sir, right away. I noticed that there wasn’t much blood around the body. I’d say he was killed elseware and the body dumped where it could be found easily.’

‘Yes. I noticed that. What’s Sergeant Cree up to?’

‘Better you ask him.’

Laurie Cree was standing looking down at the body when Fitzpatrick joined him.

‘Looks like the abbos got their revenge. Nasty way to die; the bastards didn’t have to slice off his gonads. I hope he wasn’t alive when they did . . . poor bastard.’

‘That’s if the indigenous people did it. We’ll have to wait for the Medical Examiner to give cause of death, but looking at the pressure marks around his neck, I’d say that the spear was just to lay a false trail. Tell me Sergeant (in a quizzical tone), why would a respectable catholic brother want to harm the little girl? Have you heard any rumors about wrongdoing at the college? Have there been other incidences of crime involving the college faculty?’

‘Nothing concrete; just rumors such as told to you by Snr. Constable Meadows. Are you still going to interrogate the abbo kids? I still reckon they’se the one’s done it.’

Tom Fitzpatrick couldn’t contain himself any longer,

‘They’se the one’s done it! They’se the one’s done it! You amaze me Cree; how you got to be a fucking Sergeant I can only wonder! You haven’t an inkling of what’s going on in this town; you don’t connect with your own staff and as far as what’s going on . . . you’re less than useless.’

‘Hey . . . arsehole! You can’t talk to me like that; just ‘cause you outrank me doesn’t give you the right to sledge me. I can pound little shits like you into dust. Take off yer bloody jacket and face me like a man. Let’s sort this out as men do!’

‘And that’s exactly what I mean! You can’t use your brain so you resort to violence. I’m not afraid of you Cree and once this investigation’s over I’ll gladly put on gloves with you; but for the time being I’ve got a job to do. Your job is to stay away from the investigation completely. Now piss off!’

Fitzpatrick was still fuming when Gloria walked over,

‘Well, we all heard that little love scene; can’t say’s I blame you. Ever since he found out I’m gay he’s been sledging me big. Can I have a crack at him first?’

‘Yes Senior Constable, (laughing) when this is over you can do what you like - be my guest. I don’t think Cree will know what hit him.’ And then turning back to the crime scene,

‘Gloria, what do you make of those marks around his neck? Looks to me like ligature marks, (and then straightening up) can you hasten up the Medical and forensic reports; they’ll give us a clearer picture.’

Just then a young constable came running over and (breathlessly) told Fitzpatrick that an anonymous letter had been received at the police station which had crucial implications for the case.

♂♂

Back at the cop’s shop Gloria and Fitzpatrick (wearing latex gloves) carefully examined the letter which read,

‘In our confessional, a catholic brother has admitted to the murder of Ruth Jalla.’

‘Well now Gloria, what do you make of this? It’s incredible! I’ve never had this happen t’me before. A priest . . . divulging info from a confessional. Weird!’

‘I’m just blown away, Tom. I know a lot about Catholics and know they take the sanctity of the confessional very seriously. What are you going to do about it?’

‘Get it to forensics to see if there are any clues as to who wrote the letter; but if the corpse’s DNA matches that taken from Ruth Jalla, the letter is superfluous, if not very bizarre.’

‘But Tom, it does point to something deeply wrong in the college. It supports some of the rumors I’ve heard. Surely now we have to interrogate the Faculty and not the aboriginal kids. I mean, is this just a brother acting on his own, or are we dealing with something more sinister . . . more extensive?’

‘Spot on! Let’s set up a series of interviews at the college. You’ll need the Headmasters assistance ’cause I’d like a room set aside for the interviews; it’s essential to do this as soon as you can. Just let me know when you’re ready.’

♂♂

The news about Bro. Simon had shocked Kenny; how (if it were true) could a respectable Catholic teaching Brother, murder a little child? He’d arranged to meet Jeff at the Shearers and while he was waiting he mulled about the news.

That poor little girl . . . a young life snuffed out long before her time (if it were true) by a pedophile catholic brother. What could drive a respectable person to do such wrong? Although I didn’t like Br. Simon (after he accosted me), I wouldn’t or couldn’t believe him capable of murder. No way! But I do know that it’s very unlikely the aboriginal people would do such a crime. But then do I? If Bro. Simon is guilty of killing Ruthie Jalla then why wouldn’t her people avenge the crime? But how would they know Bro. Simon killed Ruth? Hmmm, I assume the cops are . . .

‘Hey big fella, you look far away; what gives?’

Kenny looked up to find Jeff standing by the table; he’d been so deep in thought he hadn’t noticed Jeff come in.

‘Aarh, just think’n about the news that Bro. Simon has been killed; seems unreal. I’m having difficulty dealing with the reality of it.’

‘Yeah, it’s shitty! Hey, you need a refill; I’ll go and get us two newbie’s.’

Jeff was wearing his trademark ‘spunk’ gear of white t/shirt and blue jeans. As he leant against the bar Kenny had to admire his small but hard buttocks which strained against the jeans material. When Jeff returned, Kenny again felt that wave of pleasure. He never seemed to lose that half-smile which made his face very attractive . . . and kissable.

As Jeff sat down he took a large quaff of Vic. Bitter and asked,

‘Well Kenny, I’m sure you didn’t ask me to meet here unless you had a mysterious reason; I’m intrigued. C’mon out with it; have you got some secret info about the killings?’

‘Nah, nothing like that. Jeff, (slowly and cautiously) I don’t want to pry into your private life; you’ve already been very open with me, so I hope that what I have to say doesn’t offend.’

‘Shit Kenny, you’ve got me really worried, what’s so personal that you’re being so secretive?’

There was a silence as the two young men faced each other; one waiting expectantly and the other almost ashamed of what he was about to say. Then Kenny leant forward and looking Jeff in the face reiterated what Billy Yorta had told him (and Gloria) at Ruth’s funeral. The impact was immediate and visible. Jeff slumped back into his seat and looked completely deflated. He couldn’t look Kenny in the eye.

The silence continued until,

‘I’m sorry Jeff; I gather it’s true; Billy was giving you sexual favors wasn’t he? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not being judgmental; I just thought you should know in case Billy blurts it out when being interviewed.’

‘Oh shit, (mumbling) oh shit. Fuck! Oh no! That’s all I need. I ‘spose the whole towns gonna know I’ve been sucking an abbos dick . . . and worse, (looking at Kenny) I ‘spose you’re disgusted with me.’

‘Me! (Kenny started laughing) If I ever tell you some of the stuff I’ve got up to over the years, just to get sexual relief . . . well (still laughing) you’re just a sweet little angel; but why Billy?’

‘Before I answer that, (taking another large gulp of beer) before I answer that, try, and see the predicament I was in. Having sex with Cindy was a duty. I had to get pissed just to fuck her; all the time wishing I was with a guy. Sometimes I fantasized about you . . . sorry if I embarrass you, but I do, and always have had, strong feelings about you. So how was I going to relieve myself; how was I going to have sex with a guy . . . here, in this town? Ha! Then one night I saw Billy servicing some repulsive creature and . . . and . . . well I summoned up the courage and asked him if he could help me; (pause to take another swig) would you believe it, we became friends . . . good friends who enjoyed having sex together. He is gay you know; just can’t come out because it’s not allowed in their culture. Oh shit (looking at Kenny who had gone bright red) Christ . . . have I offended you? Tell me if I’ve offended you.’

‘No Jeff (laughing) no, you haven’t offended me; it’s just that nobody has given me such a compliment before. I’m used to having shit thrown at me; I actually liked what you said. No . . . I loved what you said. I’m more than flattered that someone fantasized about me and particularly if that someone’s you. Strange isn’t it that feelings can lie dormant for so long and then come crashing back many years later; what I’m saying (Kenny paused and looked at Jeff with naked emotion) what I’m trying to say is that I’m feeling very strongly about you . . . maybe even love you.’

Thus began a very tender moment when the two boys, sitting across from each other, silently bonded and accepted they were beginning a relationship. The silence continued until Kenny,

‘I don’t know where this is moving Jeff, nor do I know how we’re going to end up. We’re both carrying a lot of baggage. We’re both carrying a lot of sadness, bad history, and trauma; you’ve got Cindy to deal with and I’ve got my own demons to overcome. I don’t want to find out that your entering a relationship just to escape Cynthia; I can’t expose myself in a relationship with you and then have to go through a break up similar to the one which made me leave Melbourne.’

Jeff was leaning forward and listening intently to what Kenny was saying. As Kenny finished he reluctantly nodded his head in agreement. At that moment Jeff thought Ken the most beautiful man in the world. Beautiful but unattainable.

‘Shit Kenny, just to know you have feelings for me gets my heart rate up. Just to know that someday there’s a chance that I can live the life I want with the person I love is enough for now. I can’t help myself Kenny; I want to kiss you right now, here, in public and without fear. But I can’t and I accept that. (He paused, reached across the table and squeezed Kenny’s hand) However, you alluded to the reason you left Melbourne but you’ve never told me what happened. What did happen? Tell me to bugger off if I’m getting too personal, but I’d like to know.’

‘Nah, it’s Ok.’ Kenny sat slumped back in his seat and to Jeff he was obviously struggling with some painful memories. Seeing both their glasses near empty, Jeff stood up and headed back to the bar. It was very quiet and gloomy in the Shearers; an atmosphere that reflected Kenny’s innermost thoughts. When Jeff returned, Kenny took a long swig of his beer and sat back up to the table. Jeff remained quiet, letting Kenny tell his story at his own pace.

‘(Sigh) His name is Rickie Siracussa and he played for the Bulldogs . . . perhaps you’ve heard of him? (Jeff shook his head) . . . no? Ok. We were together for two years but kept our relationship private. The Bulldogs are a very homophobic club and I always understood why he didn’t want anyone to know about us. It was the first serious relationship I’d ever had and I just loved being a couple. His family was of Italian origin where it was understood that you’d get married and have kids - lots of kids. In the meantime I’d decided to ‘come out’ and Rickie was seriously against this. I can understand in a way; both his family and the Bulldog’s footy club were homophobic, so life would have been very hard for Rickie.

(Kenny paused to take a long gulp of beer) Even after that we still had a satisfactory relationship but, for Rickie’s benefit, we had to be furtive. We had lots of friends in the gay world and they were very supportive; they understood the tensions our relationship entailed and tried to help as much as possible. (Laughing) I could tell you some hilarious stuff about our dinner parties; Rickie was a very genial host. But back to my saga. Soon Rickie began staying out late and I believed every excuse he gave. I was completely trusting until one of my close friends told me he was often seen at one of Melbourne’s most sleazy bathhouses. (Kenny paused to wolf down another hefty gulp).

I was devastated. It made me feel dirty . . . betrayed. Don’t get me wrong; I used to go there when I was younger to get me rocks off, but never after we went into the relationship. Never! (Jeff nodded his acceptance) Well, I fronted Jeff and he admitted doing the bathhouses; told me it wasn’t anything to do with me or our being a couple, it was because he was a sex addict. A sex addict do you mind! I told him I also had opportunity to have sex with someone else; in fact after I came out I had many offers, but the difference was that, being a responsible adult, I could control my urges. Then he dropped the bombshell! (Jeff’s mouth was open waiting to hear more); he told me he was gonna get married to satisfy his family and give up being gay! (Jeff mumbled Shit!)

Can you believe the guy? Can you? He thinks he can turn being gay on or off just like a tap. I told him he was just getting married to hide his true self; that you can’t change basically who you are. He ignored me. It was like pouring proverbial water on the proverbial duck’s back. Then, to add insult to injury, he invited me to his wedding. I really felt let down Jeff; betrayed more like, so I decided to cut my losses, move out of Melbourne and start afresh. That’s it!’

For a moment Jeff said nothing but he was furiously thinking,

This Rickie is a mirror image of me; I got married not only to hide my being gay, but to cure myself. No wonder Kenny’s reluctant.

‘Wow Ken, that’s a real bummer. I understand why you don’t want a relationship with anybody that even slightly resembles your time with Rickie; and I’m living the same mistake that your lover made, (Ken went to interrupt but Jeff just said . . .) no! Let me finish, please; we’ve got to be honest with each other, and I’ve got to be honest with myself. I’ve got to solve the shitty mess I’m in. Shit Ken, all I want to do now is hug and kiss you; but I realize that’s not on . . . that is until I clean up my own life.’

Kenny reached over and squeezed Jeff’s hand saying,

‘And I don’t want you to tear your life apart because of me. I want what you want Jeff; just remember that. Also I’m not that emotionally strong to be able to resist you. I’m only human and you are one spunky lad!’

‘Thanks Ken, I . . . .’

‘Don’t say any more. Not now anyway. On a lighter note, how’s Laurie? I gather he’s been ordered away from the investigation – or so Gloria told me.’

‘Yeah, he’s like the proverbial bear with a bad tooth; grouchy, nasty and just generally unpleasant. I almost doubled up with laughter the other night when we were over at his house for a BBQ; I overheard Betty Cree tell Cindy that she thought Laurie was having an affair. (Laughing) can you imagine someone as ugly and anti-social as my brother having an affair with anyone?

‘You’re not serious? (Joining in laughing) Sergeant Cree having a nookie behind Betty’s back; she’d kill him wouldn’t she? From what I’ve heard Betty Cree is one hell of a feisty bird. Surely it’s just women’s talk.’

‘Of course.’

Once again Kenny was enraptured by the permanent half smile on Jeff’s face. It gave his countenance a teenage look. Mischievous. But there was some unfinished business.

‘What are you going to do about Billy? You know you can’t keep seeing him!

‘I know, I know!’ (Exasperated)

‘He’s just a kid Jeff; you shouldn’t fuck around with his emotions. For all you know, he may even be in love with you. Did you think about that?’

‘No I didn’t (sounding ashamed) I guess I didn’t. To me we were just having sex without any emotional ties. He satisfied me and I thought I was also giving him an outlet. It seemed to work for both of us. Now, I don’t know. What do you think I should do?’

‘Hey, it’s your problem – not mine. Just be truthful and gentle. Anyway, just talk to him; he may surprise you. He’s got a great future in footy so I guess I’m involved with you both. How ‘bout you have a talk with him, then get back to me with his reaction; as soon as I know how he feels, I’ll have a talk to him. Ok?’

‘Great. Thanks.’

‘Fuck this! All this drama has made me boozy needy. I’ll get some shots so we can relax a little.’

‘Suits me (laughing); let’s get pissed!’

♂♂

“What kind of sick fuck are you? Why not just kill the little shit and be done with it? Hacking off his balls and shoving an abbo spear into him isn’t going to achieve anything except rile everybody. Have you seen the newspaper reports? Have you? I agree he had to be taken out but . . . well . . . perhaps not so dramatically; you’ve only made our situation worse. What about the others? Are you gonna kill everybody? I’m out of this; from here on yer on yer fuck’n own.’

‘Don’t give me that bullshit! You’re in up to your gills just like everybody; and I didn't kill the creep. I purposely sent a message to all our friends, both at the college and elseware, that talking or threatening to talk was just not an option, unless they’re prepared to suffer the consequences. As to the newspaper reports, they should convince any of our friends that we’re serious. Now is the time we close ranks and try and mislead the cops so that inquiry dies a natural death.’

‘What an arrogant fuck-wit you are. This is a major crisis, and all you do is tell everyone to say nothing and the investigation will disappear. Did you know the little shit had confessed to another priest that he’d murdered the abbo kid . . . ?’

‘. . . (Interjecting) What! What’re you talking about? How did you come by that piece of info?’

‘Don’t interrupt me arsehole! An anonymous letter was sent to the police station and went through the place like diarrhea. In the end it was superfluous because they’re waiting on the forensic report which will definitely show that our Bro. Simon was indeed the killer. Don’t you understand what this means; if a priest betrays his vows of sanctity then a new dynamic has just entered the scene.’

‘Shit! Shit! NO, I didn’t know. Wow. Why would a priest do that? You’re right; this takes the whole matter to a new level. I’m having trouble getting my head around that . . . (silence, then) I’ll have to think this through very, very carefully. . . (Silence again, till) . . . perhaps we can create a diversion by putting heat on the Catholic Hierarchy to punish the priest; that’s the only suggestion I can come up with quickly. What do you think?’

‘Well, it’s worth a try. But we’re still left with an ongoing inquiry that’s definitely not going our way; please, please promise me you’ll not do anything drastic without informing me first’

‘(Sigh) you got it.’

♂♂

With a copy of the forensic report in his hand, Fitzpatrick addressed the whole police station staff (including Sergeant Cree) in the duty room. He wanted to make sure that everybody knew firsthand the findings of the Medical Examiner and the forensic team.

‘There’s no doubt about it; it’s been officially confirmed that Bro Simon of the Marist College raped and killed Ruth Jalla. (He waited as a low murmuring swept the room). Nothing has come to light on the letter, the spear, and the butchering of the corpse; we can ignore these and concentrate on the staff at the Marist College. Someone must know something. You all know by now that a letter has been received from a local Catholic priest telling us that a priest confessed to the crime under the sanctity of the confessional. Once again this tells us that there’s something very wrong involving the local catholic clergy - particularly the staff at the local college. Therefore I want all staff interrogated and statements taken of staff activities during the last 48 hours. I will be discussing the whole police procedure with the Headmaster Bro. Dominic so that he can apprise his staff of our requirements. Any questions so far?’

A young constable from the back spoke up,

‘Where do you want these interviews conducted, at the college or here at the station?’

‘Definitely at the college; this will give you an opportunity to observe the daily activities of the people and get a feeling for college life. Anything; and I repeat anything, which makes you suspicious, note it down. The smallest item could be significant.’

He paused again to allow questions.

‘Who do we report to – you or the Sarge?’

‘To me. I’m coordinating all aspects of the investigation; Sergeant Cree has enough on his hands running the station.’ This brought some wry smiles which were noticed by Cree. Another hand went up at the back,

‘If we are questioned are we allowed to report that the brother did rape and kill the abbo kid?’

‘Yep, you may as well; but if you think someone is asking too many questions or questions which you think are unnecessary, report to me immediately. Remember, sometimes major cases are solved by the smallest detail.’

‘Inspector (this time it was Gloria who spoke up) are there any sensitive areas we should avoid such as church doctrine and practices which are usually denied access to lay people; I mean are there any limitations on our presence at the college?’

‘Good question; the answer is absolutely not! If anyone tries to deny you access to information or prevents you from entering any area, let me know immediately; I’ll sort it out.’ Again from Gloria,

‘What about the kids? How involved do we get with them?’

‘I’ll be asking the Headmaster to arrange a general assembly of all school people, both faculty and students, to tell them they must cooperate with the police enquiry. Obviously, we can’t conduct interviews with kids by themselves without parents or an adult person being present; but if a child approaches you and offers information, tell me and I’ll organize the appropriate supervision. Ok?’

The room fell silent until a questioner,

‘So our job is to find out who killed the killer, eh?’

♂♂

It was a very apprehensive Jeff who sat on the grass awaiting Billy. This was the spot that they had often used for their trysts. A small steam meandered softly through the bush and watered the grassy bank; with the sun streaming down it made for a secluded and idyllic place to meet.

Geez, what a beautiful place this is, with such wonderful memories. Without Billy I would’ve gone gaga with frustration; why do I have to tell him we can’t meet anymore? Shit, I’m only human; I need Billy. I need human contact to satisfy my sexual needs. What’s wrong with that? Even now I’m getting antsy; I haven’t had a good root for over a week and I’m supposed to tell him no more? (Sigh) but Ken’s right; we need to cool it temporarily . . .

‘Hi, Mr. Jeff . . . yous’re early! Man yous’re look’n sexy. Wish I had dem muscles of yours.’

Jeff looked up at Billy standing above him and once again felt that wave of expectation. Billy was wearing short pants that exposed his hard wiry leg muscles. Already, Billy’s crotch bulged with anticipation (as was Jeff’s); but it was Billy’s facial features that attracted Jeff and compelled him to lust. Being of mixed heritage, he had the face of an angel. His jet black eyes penetrated into Jeff’s soul and his pert little nose defied the usual broad aboriginal appendage of his ancestors. Jeff’s heart began to race.

Stop it!

When Billy sat down and pressed his bare leg against Jeff’s leg, the contact sent a bolt of electricity through Jeff. This was the way it always started; Billy would take charge and work his magic on Jeff’s body. Billy also had an earthy aroma which made Jeff dizzy with desire.

Then, a very large brown hand began to creep up Jeff’s naked leg, causing Jeff to tremble with anticipation; he began to sweat and subconsciously opened his legs wide as an invitation . . .

No! No! I shouldn’t let this go any further; but I want to, I need to . . . Kenny, Kenny, I’m sorry; I can’t help myself. I don’t want him to stop!

Billy expertly undressed Jeff and when that was done he stripped himself naked. With nothing on, the shape of his steely muscled body made Jeff gasp with pleasure; and he sported a very large brown penis that even as he watched, grew to impressive proportions. When the boy’s hand reached his rigid cock, Jeff moaned.

‘Oh man; (gasp) Oh shit, that’s sooo good. Don’t stop Billy; (whisper) I love you doing that; (intake of breath) Oh man!’

Soon they repositioned so that they were both able to suckle each other’s cock. Jeff loved the taste of pre-cum that seemed to endlessly ooze out of Billy whose cock was now painfully erect.

‘(Softly) Mr. Jeff, I’se gett’n close; you’se gonna make me ‘splode! Can I’se get inside you now? . . . Quick.’

Jeff needed no urging and soon Billy was deep inside him; their coupling did not last long because Billy was all fired up. His frantic movement increased and he thrust harder and harder until,

As ecstatic shudders convulsed his entire body, Billy climaxed with a long and euphoric deep howl.

Just after that Jeff reached his own bellowing climax, spilling his pent up seed all over the grass. When he’d finished, Billy put his arms around Jeff and they lay there on their stomachs enjoying the afterglow of their orgasms.

There was absolute silence except for the musical chirping of birds and rustling in the undergrowth. Jeff could hear the musical tinkling of the stream as it meandered through the glen; and dappled sunlight made ever-changing patters as a breeze moved gently through the trees. Jeff rolled over and propped on one elbow, ran his hand along the satiny brown skin of his companion.

He’s so beautiful . . . and so vulnerable. I don’t want to hurt him (sigh) but I must talk with him.

‘What did you’se want to talk t’me about? Ya said it was ’portant. What ya want t’ say?’

Billy had rolled over and now lay facing Jeff on his side supported by his elbow. Jeff began to struggle with the right words to answer him.

‘I guess you know about Ruth’s killer being found dead with his confession alongside him.’

‘Yeah . . . I knows. I also knows that the bludger who killed that parasite shoved an abbo spear through his gut to try and put the blame on us. What a fucker. Him dat did it knows nothing ‘bout us blackfellas. Anyway, what’s dat to do with us? Ya don’t think I done it do yer . . . Do yer?’

‘No! No; of course I don’t! But the investigation is heating up. I’ve heard that all the teachers at the school are going to be interviewed . . . interrogated; they may start interviewing students too. If they want to interview you, tell them you must have one of your parents and a rep. of the Aboriginal Legal office with you at the interview. Promise me, Billy. Promise me!’

‘Alright, alright; keep yer socks on. I hears ya! Dat’s ok, but what dat got to do wid you’se and me?’

Oh fuck!

‘I was talking to Kenny . . .’

‘Hey, dat Mr. Kenny he’s a good fella. We’se made ‘im part of our clan. Did you’se know dat? T’me he’s a god. When he trains me at footy I do everything he tells me. I even offered to give ‘im a blow job but him didn’t want one. Would you’se be shitty If’n I gave him a suck?’

‘. . . (ignoring Billy) talking to Kenny and he reckons we maybe shouldn’t see each other for a while.’ All of a sudden Billy sat up with a frightened look on his face. Jeff could see the beginning of panic in his features.

‘Don’t understand; we don’t sees each other ’cept here when we do the sex. Ain’t any one sees us here?’

Shit! Shit! Shit!

‘It’s too dangerous Billy, Even the kids have to stop doing sex favors for money. The cops are in an angry mood; I heard my brother . . .’

‘Yer brother’s a fuck wit! He ain’t that rosy either; and the udder kids need the dough for the mums and dads to spend. You can’t ask ’em to stop!’

‘Geez let me finish. I heard my brother say that everyone’s under suspicion, until the investigation team clears them. So if word got out that you and I were . . . well fucking, it would cause everyone problems. Billy, your only sixteen and what we do together is not legal.’

‘Fuck ’em; I knows what I want. I want you Mr. Jeff and no shitty copper is gonna tell me different.’

‘And there’s my wife; how do ya think she’s gonna take it if she finds out we’ve been fucking. Huh?’

‘Dat’s her problem. I ain’t gonna lose any sleep over her. Maybe old Pangari can put a hex on ’er so’s she just disappear. I’ll talk to ’im.’

‘Don’t, (laughing) don’t you dare do that. Shit, Billy I want you to take this seriously. We’ve got to stop seeing each other.’

Suddenly, Billy understood that Jeff was serious. His eyes began to fill with tears and over flowed down both cheeks.

‘What . . . what you’se saying. Ya don’t want t’see no more? Why! Why! What’s I done? Ya don’t like me no more? Is it ’cause I’m a black fella? (Sob) is it? I never said dis b’fore but I love ya Mr. Jeff. I love ya (sob). An don’t give me shit ‘bout being too young; I knows how I feel.’

‘Geez Billy . . .’

‘Geez Billy nuth’n! What you think I can do; just say bye, bye (sob) and walk away and never see you’se again? Can’t do dat. Billy can’t do dat. Billy’s got the very bad hots for you Mr. Jeff and I ain’t gonna walk away . . .I ain’t just gonna disappear.

Oh my god!

‘And ’nother thing. I knows ya don’t love me. I knows dat and it don’t worry me any; just enuff for Billy to see you and be wid you. Dat’s all I wants. I would never do anything to hurt you Mr. Jeff; so please don’t hurt me. Please (sob) Mr. Jeff.

‘Oh shit Billy, come here; we’ll try and work something out. (Jeff put his arms around the boy and let him cry his emotions out) I could never intentionally hurt you Billy. I do have feelings for you; you’ve become very special to me. Understand? (A tear streaked brown face nodded yes and clasped his arms more tightly around Jeff) Just remember, no one interviews you without a parent or Legal rep with you. Promise me!’

‘I promise: I promise! What’s gonna happen t’me Mr. Jeff? I’se an outcast in me own family; dey don’t want no queer abbo around. What can I do? Where can I go? I’ve only got you Mr. Jeff, only you.’

Oh shit, shit, shit! This is a mess! What am I doing?

♂♂

Ken leaned back in his seat and stared at Jeff; his usual pleasure at seeing him had been replaced by a growing anger. He let the silence grow until,

‘So, you met with him this afternoon to tell him that you can’t see him anymore and it ended up with Billy becoming more emotionally and physically attached to you. Have I got that right? . . . Oh, (angrily) I forgot to add that you had sex with him.’

Jeff sat slumped back in his seat, a half empty beer in front of him and looking (and sounding) miserable. He’d asked Kenny to meet at the ‘Shearers’, thinking that Kenny might sympathize with him; instead Kenny had become angry.

‘Please Kenny, don’t get angry with me. You had to be there to appreciate the position I was in. I didn’t know he’d become emotionally involved; I didn’t know he was frightened of his people and I didn’t know he had become physically attracted to me. How could I hurt him? If you heard the way he idolizes you you’d understand my predicament.’

‘I understand (raising his voice) nothing, except that you’re weak Jeffry. Look at the mess your life has become. You’re still married to Cynthia; you’re still hiding your homosexuality; now Billy Yorta has become totally dependent on you; and any further relationship between you and I has to be put on hold. And (angrily), you ask me to understand . . . no, to give my blessing! Well I won’t! You’re a fuckwit!’

Jeffry was shaken at Kenny’s intense response. He felt like a child being chastised by a parent; tears weren’t far away.

‘Ok, Ok, (sigh) you’re right; I am a fuckwit. Everything I do seems to hurt the people I care for. I really don’t want to hurt Cindy; what’s she gonna do when she finds out she’s been living with a queer all the years. I don’t want to be responsible if she decides to hurt herself. I don’t want to hurt Billy; so this’s me Ken; I’m just weak when it comes to people.’

Kenny had had enough,

‘Don’t (loud and angrily) you dare! Don’t you dare wallow in self-pity? I’m not gonna listen to any more of your wining and feeling sorry for yourself. Grow the fuck up Jeff! Only you can get your life back on course. You have to decide (sounding exasperated) what you want; what’s important. I want to be your friend and lover Jeff, but not if you’re gonna wallow in misery and shame. I’m sorry Jeffry, but (downing his beer) best I go now!’

‘No! No; (sounding frightened) please don’t go. Talk to me Ken. Please; I’m scared Ken . . . scared that I might lose you. I . . . please sit down and let me get a refill.’

Kenny sat down; he didn’t want to be a drama queen anyway. Jeff scurried away to the bar. A moment’s respite.

The trouble with Jeff is that he’s too good; he just wants to please everybody and can’t abide the thought of hurting anybody. I suppose this could be a positive character trait; he just wants to be nice to everybody. . . And that’s virtually impossible. If only he could learn to balance the need to help others with a little constructive cruelty . . .’

‘Hey, (putting down two large beers) thanks for not bolting. I love you Kenny and I want to make sure that I’m worthy of your love. I know I’m damaged goods; I know I’m weak and I know I let people ride over me. Never once in my life have I ever fought back. But I’m not gonna be a burden on you; I know the way I’ve been living is wrong and I’m determined to do something about it. But I need you to be patient with me; am I asking too much?’

‘Mate, (taking a swig) the issue isn’t our relationship or me being patient; it’s how’re you gonna extract yourself from this mess. I’ve just been thinking that you’re too nice; that’s the real problem, you’re just too nice. That in itself may be a credit to you, but it leaves you very vulnerable to other people taking advantage of you. You seem to be comfortable with the role of victim . . . and that’s unhealthy; Harmful.’

‘Is that the way you see me Ken; that I see myself as a victim?

Yes! You seem to relish the role of victim; consider this . . . by not wishing to hurt other people you only end up hurting yourself. You’ve got to think more selfishly Jeff; if you don’t you’ll end up a slave to everyone else’s moods.’

‘Shit! I hadn’t looked at my life that way. (Kenny noticed that Jeff was sitting up adopting a more aggressive posture) Yeah, what you say is true. Fuck! I’ve been a patsy haven’t I? How come you’re so knowledgeable; how come?’

‘Well, when I was younger I was a lot like you. I just wanted to please everybody; ’spose it was because of being gay; I became very passive in outlook. Then I quickly found out that when playing footy, if you allow anybody to sledge you, both verbally and physically, they gain the upper hand. I learned to give back as good as I got quickly and then relished the respect that others gave me. I also gained a lot of self-respect; and that’s important. So I started to become more assertive in my dealings with other people.’

‘Yeah (sounding wistful) you were lucky that footy helped you. I’ve been cocooned all my life and, as a result, ended up feeling sorry for meself.’

‘Jeff . . . Jeffry, why don’t you just practice being yourself. It’s the gentle; kind and passionate Jeff that I’m in love with . . . probably have been since we were kids. But practice saying ‘no’ to yourself and other people. Now (getting up and finishing his beer) it’s getting late and I must go. Are you coming?’

♂♂

‘I still find it hard to believe (taking a sip of tea) . . . Bro. Simon, a child rapist turned killer. I knew him Peter, we played chess together. He never said anything to arouse my suspicions; outwardly he was a decent bloke. What compels a man of devotional orders to commit such a crime? When I read the newspaper report I felt sick. Have you ever experienced anything like this before?’

‘No, (sadly) no I haven’t. It just beggars belief. Poor Bro. Dominic; it must be devastating to learn that one of his brothers committed such a horrendous crime. (Silence; except for Peter O’Brien stirring his tea) I know him well . . . in fact very well. He’s a gentle, inoffensive man who’s just had his whole world come crashing around his ears.’

‘Peter it’s in your nature to be forgiving, but he’s the Headmaster; he should have known something was amiss. If you’re so sure he wouldn’t allow this cancer in the college, it still doesn’t absolve him from being ignorant! After all, it’s the duty of every school principal to know what’s going on with both teachers and children under his care.’

‘That’s true, but I suspect (getting angry) he’s been pushed aside by a very aggressive person in the form of Bro. Michael. He’d do anything to discredit Bro. Dominic so that he could become the Principal.’

‘Politics, politics! Even our own church is not untouched by the ambitions of ambitious men. Do you still believe you did the right thing in sending that anonymous letter?’

‘(Thoughtfully) I think I did. I mean if ever we were to face a tribunal or a court of law, we can say honestly that we didn’t withhold evidence; and just to forestall you, it was a decision taken by both of us which means that you can claim you didn’t withhold evidence.’

‘But . . .’

‘No buts; that’s the way it’s going to be. As the parish priest, I deem it so!’

‘Ok . . . thanks. Do you think they’ll be interrogating all the parishes in our area?

‘Who (sighing) knows?’

♂♂

‘Hi . . . I am Detective Inspector Tom Fitzpatrick (showing his badge) and this is Senior Constable Meadows (displaying her badge); could we see the Headmaster please?’

‘People usually make an appointment to see Bro. Dominic; he’s a very busy man. Now let’s see . . . umm, would tomorrow at eleven thirty be convenient; he’ll be free for an hour. Is that suitable?’

‘No. No it isn’t Ms. . . . . (Reading her name tag) Flynn. We’re here on police business and we’ll see him . . . now!’

‘You’re very rude! I don’t care what business you’re on, you have to fit into the Headmaster’s schedule. People – including the police – can’t just go bursting into the Principals office without an appointment! Do I make myself clear?’

‘Let me (ignoring her outburst) put it this way; everyone at this college is a suspect in the death of Bro. Simon . . . and that includes you, Ms. Flynn. Now, (signaling Gloria to follow) just announce me and then . . . shut up!’

The redoubtable Ms. Flynn folded like a stack of cards and (clearly shaken) announced on her intercom that the police were here to talk. Almost inaudibly, she said,

‘Please go through, he’s waiting.’

The Headmasters office was dour; with emphasis on dark furniture and very few adornments. It exuded a peculiar musky smell of old books and old furniture. On one wall was the obligatory photo of the current Pope and on another the awful spectacle of a young man nailed to a piece of wood. Gloria could easily imagine the impact on a young kid being fronted for undisciplined behavior. Bro. Dominic fitted the profile of a catholic Headmaster; small of stature, skinny and bespeckled, with a face that couldn’t remember the last time it had smiled.

Taking the intuitive, Fitzpatrick addressed Bro. Dominic.

‘This is just a courtesy visit sir, to let you know that we’ll be conducting interviews and asking questions about the death of Bro. Simon. But first, we need all staff members, including you and your secretary, to make written statements about your movements within the last 48 hours. Senior Constable Meadows will explain to everybody what is required; if you could assemble your people she will explain what we want. Completed statements should be handed to her within the next six hours.’

He waited for some response from the Headmaster, and getting none continued,

‘Once all statements have been received, we will hold any further interviews we deem necessary here at the college, and it would be appreciated if you could make a room available to us. I hope this doesn’t cause too much of an inconvenience!’

‘Of course it does! The college is in enough turmoil without the heavy tread of police through our corridors. Why do you want to interrogate me? I don’t know anything about Bro. Simon’s death nor his evil and secretive practices; why me?’

‘Because sometimes people unwittingly carry information without knowing it is important; in your case you may not know if information is significant. Only our trained police staff can decide what’s critical and what isn’t. Of course you may have a legal representative with you at the interview to look after your personal legal position.’

‘I (exploding) certainly will not! I have nothing to hide and will answer any reasonable question without recourse to legal advice. How dare you!’

‘Well, that’s up to you sir, I’m only apprising you of your rights; (handing Bro. Dominic a list) here is a list of persons we may want to interview . . . can you have your secretary inform each one of their need to co-operate with us during the enquiry.’

‘Yes, yes of course. Just leave the list with Ms. Flynn and she’ll make the appropriate arrangements.’

Silence descended; Fitzpatrick stared thoughtfully at the Headmaster whilst he, in turn, glared at the Inspector.

‘Tell me what you know about Bro. Simon’s background; his habits and any good or bad observations you’ve made about him. After all he was your subordinate so you must’ve formed some opinion of him as a person.’

‘Are you interrogating me? Is this where I say that I want a solicitor?’

‘(laughing) No sir; I just wanted to get some indication, off the record, of your opinion of the brother. Was he popular; did he have many friends; what were his interests; that sort of thing?’

‘Well, (becoming thoughtful) he was very good academically; he came out of the seminary with very good grades. However, he didn’t make many friends; Oh, he had acquaintances but nobody you could say was a friend . . . he kept very much to himself. But he was a very strict catholic; I know he had a falling out with Mr. Jones about him being homosexual. They had a serious argument that all the college knew about . . .’

‘And all the time (Gloria interjected) he was planning to rape and murder a little girl! Is that what is called a strict catholic?’

‘No; you’re right to be angry. I have to say I’m devastated by what’s happened; never in my whole career as a clergyman or as a teacher have I had to confront something like this. How could I have been so blind; how could I have been so trusting . . .’

Or (thought Julia) how could you be so stupid!

‘Don’t be so hard on yourself sir. As a detective my experience has told me that often the people close to the perpetrator are the ones shocked when the truth is revealed. Try not to distress.’

‘I’ll try, I’ll try. Anyway, I’ll make the appropriate arrangements as you require. When do you intend to interview me?’

‘Let’s get all the statements in first; we’ll probably talk to you towards the end when we have a more complete picture. But sir, try not to distress yourself; you’re definitely not a suspect.’