Imprint - 26. Ch. 5 Part IV

IV

You are going to love me.

Oh?

I have something for you. Its going to change your life.

I'm intrigued. ;)

Are you back yet? Southside or Jefferson?

Jefferson. And no. Got another hour.

“Hey Handsome, I got something for you.” Tallen quickly tucked his phone away, looking up to catch Sophie behind the bookstore counter, excitedly waving him over.

He walked over, passing by Marie wiping down tables, trying to give her a nod that wasn't noticed; he'd worry about it later. “Is it coffee?”

“No, that's upstairs, along with your man.” She reached down out of sight and came back up again with her lap top, “No, I mean this.”

Tallen joined her at the counter, leaning against it and eyeing the computer with some interest and trepidation. Technology had changed quite a lot since he'd disappeared, it looked nothing like what he remembered, was more deeply ingrained in every day life, he doubted he could ever adapt to it. It was something that made him feel alien, that he knew made him stand out to others and he hadn't figured out yet how to explain the knowledge gap away; he was just thankful that Sophie saw it only as an odd shared quirk that made him and Frost even more compatible, asking few questions.

“Here,” after pushing a series of buttons, she turned the computer around to face him, “Is this like what you were thinking of?”

Tallen had to stare at the picture on screen for a few minutes before it translated in his head. “That almost looks like a bed. He has one of those.”

“It is, or, well, it can be. But it also folds upright, like this here, so you can use it as a couch.”

Tallen studied the picture in the center of page some more, but it was hard to tell how it would work in actuality. “And I could put it together myself?”

“Its Ikea,” Tallen blinked in confusion, earning a scoff, “You're never been to Ikea? You poor, deprived thing, you.” She patted his shoulder.

He wasn't certain how serious this was, “Is this a bad thing?”

“Ikea's fun. They got good food.”

“Really? Food?”

“Jeez, have you never met any poor college kids? What did you furnish your first apartment with?”

Tallen shrugged, “Got stuff found or donated, I guess.” His eyes turned away, wondering at the strange thing his life has turned into; over there where he mostly understood the culture he was still considered a foreigner, here he was assumed to belong but never felt more outside.

“Yeah, you can put it together,” Sophie answered, “And if you can't, I can. I've put together a hundred of those by now, I could do it in my sleep. And I've been in Frost's apartment once, so I'm sure I can come back.”

Tallen wasn't going to assume it, but he nodded along anyway. “Okay. So, where is this place then? Is it nearby?”

She gave him an odd look, “There's one over near the airport, but you know you don't actually have to go there. You can buy it right here.” She tapped on the screen.

He sighed quietly, that tense feeling creeping up his spine as it did when he knew he was about to say something he shouldn't but he couldn't avoid it either. “How?”

“Don't you have a credit card or a debit card or something?”

“Oh. Yes.”

“Then you can buy it online,” she tapped the screen again; he noticed her finger hovered over an icon of a shopping cart, “You can have it dropped off, too. Don't need to go there at all.”

He had to admit, that sounded convenient. “Its not like the usual sometime in one to two weeks shipping time line, is it? I don't want to spring this on him when I'm not there.”

“Its not shipping, its delivery, you can pick a date.” Her grin grew wider, “So, you haven't told him you're doing this for him yet?”

The feeling of dread retreated again, he pointed a teasing finger in her face, “Don't start.”

“I can't help it, its so sweet.”

“Its a couch.”

“That he needs. And its sweet that you're helping him to live like a real person.”

He had to bite back the defensiveness that wanted to come, she didn't mean anything by it he knew. “His place is fine. I wouldn't have even thought of it, except I'm over there all the time and he feels bad keeping me on the floor.”

“You should just take him to your place. Permanently, I mean. Keep him there, get him out of the ghetto.”

It felt like reproach, even if it wasn't; he closed his eyes, “...we're not there yet.” Should be, should have been, some time ago; not yet.

“I know, I'm teasing.” she bumped at his shoulder again, oblivious to his change in mood, “You're still sweet.”

He cleared his throat, working past the tangled knot of feeling; he wished he could agree with the sentiment, but not right this moment

(“...thing you touch...”)

“Anyway. They drop it off. I can actually get it inside myself?”

Sophie thought about it, “Um, maybe? But you know, that's what the guys are there for. It would take, like, three seconds for them to bring it through the door. I think Frost will live.”

Again, that old defensive instinct rushed to the fore, and this time he couldn't quite hold it back, “Frost is a big boy, you know. He knows his limits, its always better to just listen to him.”

She waved an unconcerned hand in the air, “Pssh, if I did that I wouldn't have talked to you and you wouldn't be here now. He seems happy about that.”

He knew that wasn't entirely serious on her part, she knew she at best saved him another month or so of tip toeing around and working up to a more direct move. The sentiment behind the statement was sincere enough, though. “There's a difference between a token resistance and real refusal. Pressuring him doesn't help as much as you might think.” That wasn't fair, and he knew it; he made himself stop. “Sorry. Its just an old sore spot.” One that never really healed it seemed, all these years later. It had only been that knowledge that their friendship was best kept a secret that had kept Tallen from causing serious trouble at the group home on Frost's behalf; he had hated the way they treated him, always assuming they knew better, keeping him isolated, trying to mold him as they saw fit-

(…. …. …. …. ….)

Sophie looked at him carefully, frowning, and he saw the moment her mind made the connection, “Oh. Oh.” her eyes filled with concern, “I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it like-”

“I know. Its okay.” Tallen looked away from her, back to the computer screen, trying in every way to signal an end to the conversation. He knew that Frost had told her they'd known each other before, and he also knew that Sophie was aware of some of the details of Frost's less than pleasant past: he was certain Sophie was more than smart enough to put two and two together and realize Tallen had baggage of his own. He didn't want to discuss it, didn't want to hear her ask the question, rather go on pretending that knowledge wasn't there between them. He never liked being asked, that feeling that he was so transparent; he didn't need to answer they all already knew, everything he'd rather keep secret sitting right out there in the open for everyone to see, like it was burned right on to his-

(.... .... .... .... ....)

“They'd bring it up the stairs for you,” Sophie was talking again, “The guys, I mean. Because why would anyone want to do that themselves? But, I guess if you met them at the door and dragged it in yourself, I can't see why it'd be a problem. For anyone.”

Tallen nodded, partly in acceptance, partly in gratitude. “Thanks. For finding this.”

“Well, you know, I like to help.”

“Could you help out again, then?” he tilted his head toward the lap top, “How do I do this?”

Sophie made a show of rolling her eyes, muttering comments under her breath about helpless men while leaning over to reach the keyboard; the screen changed images a few times. “There, here's the order form. Its just like any other order form, except you type instead of use a pen. You do know your ABCs, right?”

“Fuck you very much,” he laughed though, more than happy to have the mood reset.

“Maybe I should say its like texting but with a bigger keyboard.”

“Yeah, yeah.” His eyes scanned over the screen, inwardly cringing at the information requested; such basic things for anyone else, but so complicated for him. “Okay, right there. Why does it need a billing address if I'm paying now?”

“They match it to the card. Its just trying to prevent theft. They're not going to like, you know, send you a million catalogs or anything.”

“Oh. Right, of course.” That could throw a wrench in this plan, but he thought it best not to say anything about it. “So, you don't mind if I...?”

She nodded, “Oh, sure, go right ahead. I got to duck in back for a few, so when you're done, just push it behind the counter there. I'll be right back anyway.” Sophie paused on her way out to lean forward and give him an awkward one arm hug, touching her head to his shoulder briefly in lieu of any other body contact, “Have fun, okay?”

That was new. Tallen chose to see it as a new level of friendliness on her part; better than to think it was in any way prompted by their conversation.

Tallen worked at the computer as quickly as he could, hesitating only slightly over the thin, delicate feel of the keyboard. He pulled out his wallet and his old bank card, the same one he'd taken with him when he ran; the account was still active he knew, Uncle Harlan probably never thought to close it, and he still sometimes funneled money into it through various ATMs when he didn't want to use the account connected to his boss. Which he really didn't here. He had to stop and think of the address he'd lived in then, cross his fingers and hope it was still valid; if it wasn't he'd just smile for Sophie and go to the store in person where he could pay in cash.

The last bit of information he keyed in, what should be the easiest, actually the hardest: his own name. Or rather not his name, the name of a fifteen year old boy that's been dead and gone most of a decade now: Daniel J. Ellison.

He clicked confirm at the end, waiting with his fingers crossed. It was approved; that was good to know.

Marie was still working on the other end of the room; Tallen eyed her in thought for a minute or two before coming to a decision. He'd not spoken with her since, there had been a tension there when she came back to work and he'd backed down, willing to give space were it needed. He knew she had been attracted to him before; he didn't think he'd done anything to encourage it, but he also didn't know how closely his every action was being scrutinized and it was hard to say what more could be read into behavior when you're already looking for signs. It wasn't his fault he knew, but he still wondered if he should apologize; he hated hurting people, even inadvertently, there was too much of that as it was.

(“...sorry, so, so...”)

“Hey,” Tallen walked half the distance toward her before stopping, ready to go if needed.

Marie glanced up, her eyes making a quick sweep of the room before coming back to him; she smiled then, “Hey yourself. How goes it?”

Her tone was friendly enough, that was encouraging. “Not bad. How about you?”

“Can't complain. Nice to finally be done playing catch up.”

Tallen nodded, “Yeah, I heard you were sick. A while back now.” Old news, but he'd never had a chance to speak on it.

Her expression was weary, “Not just me, my son, too. That was a nightmare, my mother had to move in a few days there to help out, I couldn't even walk.” A head shake, “Next year I'm getting that flu shot. Half of Nicky's class was out with the same thing, you know.”

He nodded in sympathy, “I missed you, you know? Didn't have anyone to give me books when you were gone.”

She laughed lightly, “Oh, is that it? Poor you.” A pause, and her eyes made yet another quick sweep of the room, “Okay, follow me.”

He did, weaving among the book shelves, “This is kind of a relief. Hate to have to resort to reading the news or something.”

“Could be worse. Could be Cosmo.”

“Oh, I don't know. I might like those twenty-one tips to please him in bed.” His jaw snapped shut, but too late to stop the words from coming.

Marie stopped and looked back at him; he waited to see how badly he'd misstepped, but there was only humor in her eyes, “If that's what you're interested in, I could find you something far more useful than Cosmo.”

He laughed, “No, I'm – I'm good.”

Her smile broadened, “Only if you're sure.” Still chuckling to herself, Marie pulled two books off a shelf and handed them over, “Here you go. Both authors you've already read and liked. I'll try to come up with something more imaginative for next time”

“No, its okay. Thanks.” Tallen paused, quickly weighing his options, before speaking more directly, “We're – we're okay, right?”

Her expression was very calm, one finely shaped eyebrow raising, “Any reason we wouldn't be?”

“Um...no?” he shrugged, “I mean, its just that-”

Marie interrupted him, “No, its okay. I know what you mean. And you don't need to worry about it. We're both adults here, these things happen, you get over it. It doesn't have to be a problem, unless you make it one.”

It was better than he could've hoped for. “Good, that's – that's good. Sorry. Its just, I thought-”

She interrupted again, “I know what you thought. And I'm sorry you thought it was you. Its just...” Her eyes made another quick sweep around, and she took a step closer to him, lowering her voice. “Okay, can I be really honest with you about something? And you don't get angry or offended or anything?”

He nodded, “Sure.”

“The only thing I have a problem with here, is the smugness from the college corner,” she said, “The self congratulatory air, giving me the evil eye every time I'm in the room with you, like...like, what does she honestly think I'm going to do?”

That had come as a surprise, “Oh.”

“Yeah. And look, I know you guys are like really good friends now, I'm not trying to drag you in the middle. I like her, too. She's a good kid. She just needs to grow up a little.”

Tallen aimed for something neutral, “Oh, well...plenty of time for that. I mean she's only, what? Twenty-one?”

“And very sheltered.”

Tallen just smiled, thinking of the way work brought people together who might otherwise never have. It could be far worse, neither of them has ever been accused of being an asshole, a psycho, a ghoul or a demon.

“I'm sure it'll blow over,” he said, “I'm not going to stay so interesting forever.”

“I'm sure it will, I'm just half afraid its going to wait until I'm dating someone else.”

“Shouldn't be too hard, right?” he meant it jokingly.

Her smile thinned just a bit, “You're a good guy. But I wouldn't believe everything you hear..”

He could see her hesitate, thinking something through; feeling better about it now, he cut her a break, “Whatever you want to say, go ahead. Already told you, I won't get mad.”

She remained reluctant, “Well, I hope you remember that.” She took a breath, and, “Okay, I was curious about, what it was about – him, um, Frost? Why was he the one you...” a head shake, “Okay, that sounds a lot more catty than I really mean it. Its just that I can't think of when you would've ever spoken to him, or saw him at all. I've worked with him for two years, I never see him.”

“Oh. No, its okay to ask.” After a moment's consideration, Tallen decided she was owed some honesty, “And I didn't. See him, that is. I knew he was here, I was waiting for him to come out.”

Marie blinked at him, “Wait, what?”

“We...grew up together,” partial honesty maybe, but it wasn't just his story to tell, “We were really close until I had to move away.”

“Oh!” her whole face brightened in surprise and Tallen knew, if there were any deeply buried hard feelings left, this had been just the right thing to say to dispel them. “Wow, that's – wouldn't have guessed that. But that does explain it.”

“What?”

“He's different with you. Even I can see that. Here I thought you were just really good in bed.” She grinned at the stunned expression on his face. “Just teasing you.”

She was, too, he could see that; if his laughter was slightly uncomfortable, it was no fault of hers, “Doesn't mean I couldn't use those Cosmo tips.”

“There's always room for improvement, right?” She shook her head, “Come on, let me ring you up.”

And there was one less weight on his mind; it was turning out to be a good day.

He passed by Lillian on his way up the stairs, her heading out on some errand but still pausing long enough to exchange a few words of greeting. If Sophie fancied herself Frost's adoptive sister, Lillian could be considered a surrogate grandparent; it was a more distant, hands off relationship than what Sophie offered, but Tallen could sense real fondness there, the way she was with Frost. She'd liked Tallen almost instantly; he figured it was as close to official family approval as he was ever going to get.

Tallen walked into the modest apartment above the store, cluttered with cushy old furniture and enough photographs hanging on the walls to suggest a long life well lived. It was near quiet here, only the faintest noises betraying the presence of anyone else; Tallen tried to move silently, not wanting to interrupt.

He found Frost at the table, standing with his back to the entryway; Tallen stopped there, just watching. Watching Frost absorbed in a task he found relaxing, when his guard dropped completely; it was one of his favorite sights in the world, that loose stance, relaxed shoulders, the easy elegant movement of his arm stirring something unseen but smelled wonderful. His feet were bare as they always were in the apartment, sleeves of the over sized gray sweater pushed up to his elbows, leaving soft pale skin on display; his long thin neck, bent slightly forward, invitingly intimate. A momentary cessation of movement and he knew his presence had been sensed, just a heart beat of a pause before resuming again. Frost could speak volumes without saying a word; Tallen was allowed to see him like this, Tallen could be a part of his peace and quiet, no one else.

He shed his coat over the couch and slipped his bag off his shoulder, taking careful steps closer; Frost didn't say anything or even turn around, a clear welcome.. He reached out a hand and wrapped fingers around one jean clad hip, pausing out of habit to let any initial startle pass and allow for adjustment, then his other hand moved into place and he took that final step forward.

He kept his eyes on the movement of the mixing spoon going steadily around the bowl, never stuttering, thin tapered fingers holding on no tighter than they were before. They fit well together, he always thought, that smaller body pressed right up against his own, fragile but strong; he felt the same now as he did as a teenager holding on to his unknown room mate in the wake of a nightmare, wanting only to protect him, build him up, make him happy. Tallen leaned forward to bury his face in that tempting neck, breathing him in.

The sound of stirring finally stopped; fingertips touched his head, first two then all five, tentative first but growing confident, winding through his hair. His lips pressed against the soft, cool skin, feeling the pulse beneath

(alive...alive...)

wanting to taste; it was such a vivid idea that he almost could, on the tip of his tongue, could hear that happy little squeak he was sure it would evoke, sensitive to every touch. He could see it in his mind, with all his senses; he did nothing.

Tallen lifted his head just enough to see one light blue eye turned toward him; such a clear blue, like the surface of a lake, Frost's eyes were beautiful. Frost was beautiful, uncommonly so he thought, never seen another man like him. The corner of his lips pulled up into that small, sweet smile that only Tallen ever got to see. “...hello.”

“Hey, you.” Tallen wrapped his arms around him more firmly; he could do that now, for a little longer each time, “Am I early?”

Frost's eyes blinked closed in response, just a moment; fingers unwound from his hair, moving a cup of coffee in front of him, two cookies still fresh from the over balanced on the lid.

“Just on time, then.” He kissed the corner of Frost's smile, lightly, lingering but not long, never as long as he wanted to; if Frost seemed a little disappointed when he pulled away, well that was probably just wishful thinking.

Tallen pulled up a chair near by, close enough he could still touch if he wanted to, solid, real, there. The spoon was moving again but Frost's eyes were on him, quietly assessing. Tallen did the same, happy to note the other man looked well rested, not agitated. The time between bad days was slowly getting longer, Tallen liked to think he had something to do with that; he wondered what Frost saw when he looked at him, if he knew how much happier Tallen was now, if he knew why.

“How long have you been up here?” he asked, settling back with his coffee.

“...all day.”

“Really? Any special reason?”

There was a longer pause, Frost's eyes darting down, blinking slowly in that way he did when he was preparing a longer speech; as though he had to pluck each word out individually, place it carefully in the proper order. “There is a...call center, across the street – up, upper floors. They're – need new people, interviewing tomorrow, all day. We'll get business- coffee, food. Lillian wants to prepare.”

“Oh,” he nodded, “Did the call center let her know this was coming?”

“Yes.”

Figured, he'd gotten the sense from talking to Lillian that she'd been here forever and knew everyone; it was something he liked about her, about this place. “So you're up here for the day then?”

“Yes. Maybe tomorrow, some.” Frost was smiling, there was little he would rather be doing; luck was with them both today.

“So then, you probably won't want to do much cooking when you get home, huh?”

Frost's eyes shifted over to him again, openly interested, “I have to – eat. Right?”

“Someone could help you out with that.”

“...someone?” there was a spark of amusement in those clear blue eyes, a minute change in the upward curl of his lips that just begged to be kissed away; Tallen ached to do it, and he stayed put.

“Are you laughing at me? I'll have you know I can order up a mean pizza.” Or could once, years ago, when Harlan was never home and Tallen had to fend for himself.

Frost's smile grew a fraction wider; most people probably had no idea what a smart ass he could be.

“No take out,” he promised, “I'm not totally helpless, you know. I'd take care of you.”

“I know you can,” Frost said, a weight in his tone that meant much more. “Are you...free, today?”

“I can all but guarantee it,” Tallen's gaze wandered, down to pale feet, toes that unconsciously curled on the cool tile floor. “I still need to touch base, but I think I have an easy few days ahead of me. At the least.”

“Oh?” It was an invitation to explain when the silence dragged on, not as welcome a thing from his less social partner than it should have been. Tallen wanted nothing more than to be able to kick back and share his day, in every boring, aggravating detail, like every other couple did. He hated that it had to be this way.

“Got a lucky break,” he answered vaguely, “Doesn't help with the current work project, but should do much for the current stress level. And I can slip out the back while they're celebrating.”

“That's...good.”

Tallen often wondered what Frost made of his frequent non answers; he was at times oblivious, but other times he saw more than most, more than he ever let on. Right now, Frost went along with the responses, never asked his own questions; if it was a sign of trust, Tallen wasn't sure he deserved it.

“Yeah, I think. And anyway, great news for Trick if it means he can sleep at home again.”

The spoon clattered to the floor, missing bare toes by an inch; Tallen was moving without thinking, automatic behavior, scooping up the fallen utensil, placing a comforting hand on a thin, stiff shoulder, “Shit. You okay?”

Frost's head was lowered, tension thrumming through him now. Tallen started trying to catch a glimpse of his face when a sudden jerky nod answered him. Frost stepped away from him, walking to the other side of the kitchen.

Tallen stood, watching with a feeling of helplessness; another reminder that problems past aren't that far behind them, he tried not to be too discouraged. Frost pulled open a drawer next to the stove, retrieving a second mixing spoon; he stood still a minute longer, the utensil clutched tight in his hands.

“Sure you're okay?” he asked again, trying to sound steady, not worried, not at all.

Frost nodded, turning around again, his eyes stayed averted and he forced himself to speak, “Yes, I...sorry. I – don't know, what...happened.”

“Its okay, you know.” He watched Frost slowly walking back, making an effort to calm himself down; it didn't look like it was working. Those pointedly averted eyes had him worried, but Frost accepted his touch when he came back in range, his free hand clinging to Tallen's forearm, fingers finding spaces between aether burns to rest.

“I – I interrupted...you were talking?”

“I don't have to be.” Frost still was not looking at him.

“No, no, its...” Frost turned back to his work, his movements more slow and deliberate than before; Tallen stayed close, running a comforting hand down his back. “You were – said,” a deep breath in, “...did you say Trick?”

Tallen went along with it, “Yeah, I did.”

“And that's your...the one you talk about?”

“Yeah. The friend from work.”

“The one who...sleeps with-”

“Stays over sometimes.” He didn't know why he was always so insistent on that phrase, especially when the look in Frost's eyes always said it never once occurred to him to think otherwise; that unspoken trust was touching, it was frightening, and he didn't know why he deserved it.

(…. …. …. …. ….)

“Have I never mentioned his name before?”

A slow head shake, “...no. You haven't.”

It wasn't a surprise, that was another precaution he took, like a reflex by now: names were avoided because having too many friends and acquaintances with unusual names drew attention and invited questions. He had the thought at times to come up with code names for everyone, nice normal Veil names no one would bat an eye at; Nick, Kyle, Alex, Stephen, Trey, so on and so forth. It was more lies than he thought he could keep track of, never seemed worth it when being vague was easy enough. That wouldn't work with Frost anyway, he never wanted to lie to Frost, not directly not about anything.

“Well, that's him.” It was a natural stopping point, but Tallen didn't want to, not this time; he could share something more, “We work together, in the same group, got along immediately. He's one of the only really good friends I have, feel like I've known him forever, you know?”

“I – I guess...” There was a short silence, Frost's hand was wrapped tight around the mixing spoon, knuckles white, “He is...good, to – a good friend?”

“He keeps me out of trouble.” That was the understatement of the century, Tallen couldn't begin to explain. He went in another direction, “I've told him all about you, you know?”

“You...have?”

“Yep. And I don't usually talk much,” Well, he might have, if his life were normal, if he knew people that were likely to see Frost as anything other than a weak point to be used against him. “He is sorry about this, the situation here. He doesn't mean to keep taking me away from you.”

“I – know. You said, before.” Frost's head turned, blue eyes meeting his again for the first time since this started; his face was a grim mask, giving Tallen a long, considering look. “If – if he is...good, to you, then that's...okay.”

Tallen nodded, guessing this was just Frost's awkward attempt at being supportive. “Hey, thanks,” he said, “You might meet him one day.”

Frost instantly went stiff, mixing spoon stuttering in its movement before continuing on again. “Um, I – I don't...can't, um, may – maybe?”

He laughed in a way he hoped was comforting, he really should not have said that. “Don't worry about it. It wouldn't be any time soon. Or ever at all, if you don't want. I mean, you don't have to.”

Frost looked over his shoulder, his expression unreadable, “...sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry about.” Tallen ran his hand up and down his back, wanting to chase that tension away. He changed the subject, “Got any plans for Thursday?”

“...its my – day off.”

“I know it is. How about spending it with me? I got a surprise for you.”

“...a surprise?”

“Nothing you'd have to leave the apartment for.”

“...what is it?”

“You'll see.” Tallen did have ideas about how he wanted the day to go, a fantasy that played out in his head since he'd first discussed it with Sophie when she was pouring his coffee last week. In his head it was less about the sofa than it was the ways it could be broken in; vivid, detailed fantasies good enough in the moment to be worth the hours of guilt that would follow.

“Here I thought you were just really good in bed.”

Yeah fucking right...

He didn't even know what his problem was. It wasn't fear that he'd put Frost off, he felt very certain he knew how to work with his moods

(“...love you, you know...”)

and its not that he thought Frost would refuse him, in fact sometimes he thought Frost was just waiting for him to ask

(“...I'm not...impatient.”)

and it wasn't like they hadn't done anything already, whatever mixed feelings he'd been plagued with after it was over never stopped him from going through with it at the time

“What do you think? One more time.”

and why should it feel more like taking advantage now than it did then? How could so much have changed?

You really have to ask yourself that? Before you were taking care of him, best you could anyway. Before you weren't lying to him about where you live, how you live, everything. He should be with you, in the home you promised him, in the life you promised him. You left him alone, you hurt him

“Tallen, you were a child back then. You didn't have a lot of choice..”

No...

(“...sorry, so sorry...”)

You have one chance to fix it. You have to make it up to him. You don't deserve anything until you do.

(…. …. …. …. ….)

…or maybe I'm just a spineless coward. That could be it, too.

“Hey, so um, almost forgot. I got something else for you,” Tallen took his time digging through his messenger bag, hoping Frost didn't notice that weird moment, wouldn't think anything of it.

“...something else?”

“Just these,” and he placed the cigarette tin on the table, “And this. Just a little thing, no big deal.” He put the small fruit tart on top, retaking his seat as quick as he could without it looking like a slight; he just needed a little air, that was all.

Frost blinked down at it, looking at him, “...this? Did you-”

“No, I didn't make it. Bought it from a professional, should be all good.”

He was surprised, maybe more than he should be, and Tallen tried to come up with plausible evasions to questions if they came. “You just...never did – food.”

“Yeah well, you feed me all the time. Should return the favor,” he said, relieved, “Just thought you'd like it.”

His pale finger skimmed through the dark purple fruit filling that definitely had no equivalent here. “I – yes. Should.” Certain, trusting; he brought the finger to his mouth, eyes fluttering closed, expression pleased “...thank you.”

That smile...always worth it.