Renovations - 1. Story

“I just can’t do it!” complained Jim staring disgustedly at the bedroom wall.

“Can’t do what?” asked Angel.

“I can’t write this article,” answered Jim sounding annoyed, “I have writer’s block!”

“I’m sure it’ll pass,” answered Angel without the least concern.

“This never happens to me. I haven’t had writer’s block since the third grade!” said Jim now getting frustrated.

“OK,” said Angel putting down his magazine, “I’m sorry but it’s not a disease. Maybe your brain just needs rest.”

“It’s worse than a disease. It’s aggravating! It’s horrible. It’s like intellectual impotence!”

This sent Angel into a fit of laughter. As Angel tried to calm himself Jim gave up on writing and turned off his computer. He put it carefully on the nightstand and gave Angel an unhappy look.

Angel smiled at him mischievously and said, “So your brain is impotent, but how is the rest of your body?”

Jim could not help smiling back. Angel’s teasing somehow always managed to cheer him up.

The next day Jim was in a better mood but the writer’s block had not gone away. After a few days it began to scare Jim and even Angel became concerned. While Jim moped around the house all weekend Angel began searching for a cure. On Saturday he spent an hour in the library’s self help section. Jim barely noticed Angel’s absence and paid no attention when Angel walked in with a pile of books.

After a quiet lunch, Jim took a bottle of beer from the refrigerator and went back to his laptop. Meanwhile Angel picked up a book and stretched out on the couch. Over the next hour Angel had written down the main points in the book. Jim had written two sentences and finished three beers. He saved his meager progress and went to the living room.

He collapsed on a chair and watched Angel read. His depressed mind slowly became aware of how little time they were spending together since he was hired by the magazine. It seemed like he had sacrificed too much for a job that was not making him happy. He felt cheated.

Meanwhile Angel’s naturally organized mind was putting together the information from the second book into a neat outline. Working for a large store had taught him to deal with large amounts of information efficiently. He was so focused on what he was doing that he did not notice Jim staring at him until he had finished speed-reading the chapter. Then he put down the book and momentarily returned his mate’s blank stare.

“Had a few too many?” asked Angel.

Jim nodded.

“You have an hour and a half to sober up. Then we are going to have dinner like a normal couple.”

Jim did not argue. He turned on the TV and watched blindly until it was time to leave. Then they went to the neighborhood pizza and pasta restaurant. For the first time in a long time Jim forgot about work and enjoyed the world around him. He was not trying to understand his food. Instead he enjoyed the taste of basil and garlic and real Parmesan cheese. Rather than critiquing the setting he enjoyed the candle light and the sight of the man he loved.

Later that night as they lay in bed, Jim tried to understand what had gone wrong. “You know, I thought working for the magazine would be perfect. We would go places together. Then I would write about it. It was supposed to be fun but now I can’t even write. It’s all coming apart.”

“You’re just going through a rough patch,” comforted Angel, “It’ll get better.”

Over the next few days Jim finished writing his article, but it was difficult. He was nervous about his next assignment. While Jim worried about his writing, Angel finished his reading and decided that the cure was to introduce some variety into Jim’s life. He still was not sure how he would do that.

Angel found what he needed a few days later. He was looking for something to read over breakfast. As he absent-mindedly looked at some classified ads one caught his eye. A new television show was looking for participants to remodel an old Victorian home. The couple with the best looking rooms would win a prize. Angel saved the ad and finished his cereal. He left for work without a word to Jim.

Two days later they were at a restaurant that Jim was going to review. He studied the décor with scientific intensity barely noticing his date. His writer’s block was not yet resolved and Jim was nervous. When the food arrived he looked at it from multiple angles. He scrutinized the smell. He analyzed the viscosity of the sauce and the mechanical properties of the solids. The main course was shaped like a skyscraper with vegetables on the lower floors, chicken in the middle and a poached egg roof. Angel had to suppress a laugh when Jim shook the plate as if trying to see if his dinner would survive an earthquake.

On the way home Jim was slightly more relaxed. He had some ideas for how he would write his restaurant review. Angel had some ideas of his own. He turned to Jim and asked, “Guess what we are doing tomorrow.”

“Yard work?” asked Jim.

“No, we’re trying out for a reality show!”

“What!”

“The audition is tomorrow. They are going to film it over the fall to air in the winter. It’s a remodeling show. We did lots of remodeling on our place. I think we have a chance and it might help with your writer’s block.”

“What exactly makes you think I have time for that?” asked Jim wondering if it was all a joke.

“They would only need us a few days a week. I already asked. I have some vacation time and your schedule is flexible,” explained Angel.

“And you arranged all this without asking me?”

“Only the audition. Oh, and did I mention that we could win fifteen thousand dollars and a new car?”

Jim did not say anything but Angel was sure he saw Jim’s face light up. Twelve hours later they were being interviewed and video taped. They did their best to be entertaining but they would not know the results for a month. In the meantime Jim struggled with his writing and struggled to understand why Angel thought adding a remodeling project to their busy life would help.

Then one cool late summer day the answer came. Jim was fussing with his computer while Angel was trying to decide how much carrot cake he could eat without getting instant love handles. As he touched his sides the phone rang. In less than a minute both cake and computer were abandoned for a euphoric victory dance. They had been accepted to the competition.

As the days grew shorter the details of the contest became clearer. They would be working on an old Victorian mansion staying there several days each week. There would be seven couples in the competition. They would be assigned different days to work on the house to make filming more manageable. They would each have a room to restore and every week a couple would be eliminated.

Jim and Angel spent the remaining weeks of summer speculating on the location. Finally one late August day they were sent to a giant old rundown house. As they and the other contestants walked towards the door Angel said thoughtfully, “I think I’ve seen this place before.”

“Probably in a monster movie,” said Jim.

“It’s a fixer-upper. What did you expect?” asked Angel.

Jim shrugged his shoulders and kept walking. The inside of the house looked old but less neglected than the outside. Full of cameras and microphones the space looked absurd. The couple took their place in the line of people waiting to have their faces powdered. Around them the crew checked equipment. Jim and Angel exchanged a few polite words with other contestants as they began to realize how much work went into making a show. It took sever hours before the host could introduce herself and explain the game.

“Hello contestants, I’m Tracy McKenzie,” she said, “I will be your host for the Big Remodeling Challenge. The house you are now standing in is the old Willow Brook mansion. Willow Brook was built in the 1800’s for a wealthy family but has fallen on hard times. Your job will be to restore it one room at a time. Each couple will be assigned a room. That room will be your responsibility.”

They were then instructed to come up one couple at a time and pull a key from an urn. The urn looked too modern to be part of the home. When Angel put his hand in the large vessel he wondered if he would find anyone’s ashes. Instead he pulled out the key to room number seven. Once every couple had a key they were given their first assignment.

“Before you get out your paint rollers we want to know that you understand how to restore a home,” explained Tracey, “This week your assignment will be to develop a plan for your room. You may use any resources you like. Next week we will be judging you plans. If they don’t measure up you will be sent home.”

She then introduced the judges and excused the contestants to their rooms. They had an hour to measure and record anything they wanted in their rooms. The camera crew followed the excited couples as they searched for their rooms. Jim and Angel found theirs quickly. With the turn of a key a world of water stains and pealing paint opened up before them. The room was large with a high ceiling and a big window with a thick ledge. There was a built-in closet that looked like it might have been a later addition. The one piece of furniture in the room was a bed placed there for the contestants.

“Wow,” said Jim completely overwhelmed by the sight, “It looks…”

“…haunted?” Angel finished for him.

“I was going to say doable,” smiled Jim.

Angel smiled back and they began working on a plan of attack. Jim took pictures with the camera built into his telephone while Angel started taking measurements with a tape measure that had been left for them on the bed. They made careful notes about the materials used.

“You know I think that closet was added later,” said Jim.

“Let’s get rid of it,” said Angel, “I hate closets.”

“Oh, why is that?” asked Jim turning to face his boyfriend.

“Because they’re full of monsters,” answered Angel hoping to make Jim laugh.

“As I recall you spent some time in the closet at one point in your life,” teased Jim.

Angel put his hands on his hips and scowled in mock anger. Jim could not stop himself from laughing as he embraced Angel. Angel hugged him back and was about to kiss him when they heard a creaking noise coming from the closet. They stared wide-eyed as the door opened and a cameraman emerged.

“Monsters, huh?” asked Jim as the cameraman positioned himself on the other side of the room.

Angel shrugged as they went inside the closet for a closer look. They discovered that the structure was original but the doors were relatively new. They had just enough time to take a few more measurements before their hour was up. The rest of the day was spent filming comments from the contestants.

The following week was busy as Jim and Angel research the home’s architecture and looked at building materials. In the process they uncovered some of the home’s history. It was built in 1889 by a wealthy man. He had made his fortune on the east coast but being of an adventurous nature he could not resist traveling west. By then the gold rush was over and the railroads were bringing in more people. There were some opportunities for people with business sense.

Though he had a string of small but successful businesses, his life soon took a dark turn. During the journey west his eldest child caught a lung disease. She died the day the house was completed. It was the beginning of a string of deaths in the family from violence, disease, and bad luck.

“That’s so tragic,” commented Angel as they left the library one day.

“That’s alright. We’re going to make it a happy place for us,” said Jim.

“Some people say places have memories,” pondered Angel, “What do you think happens to memories when they get painted over?”

“Maybe the stories become more colorful,” answered Jim.

They sat quietly for the rest of the ride home letting their minds wander.

The next week they returned to the old house to present their plan. Jim and Angel looked at the materials other people had brought as they all sat nervously clutching paint chips and flooring samples. When they went in front of the judges Angel was sure they had a chance. As they entered the room Tracey gave them a warm smile, “OK boys, show us what you got.”

They carefully explained how their ideas fit the historical context. Showing samples of materials and paint colors they demonstrated how well the materials matched the originals. They explained that it would be better to refinish the floor rather than replacing it. They would replaster parts of the ceiling and replace the modern closet doors with something more traditional.

Despite the judges favorable looks Angel and Jim were sweaty and nervous as they waited for a decision. The other contestants seemed to feel the same except for an overconfident young woman who beamed at her husband and kept repeating, “We’re gonna win, baby!”

The camera crew closed in on her as she bragged about her design and claimed that the house needed a modern twist.

“They look like vultures,” whispered Angel.

“Who?” asked Jim.

“The camera crew. Look how they gather around her. That couple’s not going to be around much longer.”

Angel was right. That pair’s remodeling plan was rejected. As they went home followed by cameras the schedule for the rest of the contestants was worked out. Jim and Angel would be back on Wednesday and Thursday to work on their room. They would share those two days with another couple down the hall. At the end of the week everyone’s progress would be judged.

The next few days were filled with excitement. Jim’s writing was improving and Angel was happy to take credit for the change. When Wednesday morning finally arrived they drove to the house where the crew was busy setting up. The other couple Tammy and Dave arrived a few minutes later. After a quick introduction they began to analyze their situation patiently waiting for the doors to open.

“So what did you guys make of the first round?” asked Jim.

“I think those people had it coming,” answered Tammy, “They didn’t do any research and then they tried to pull off some modern thing.”

“We must have spent more time in the library than at home,” added Dave.

“Us too,” said Angel.

“The house has a sad history,” said Jim looking at the old structure sympathetically.

The others nodded in agreement. Then they were asked to come inside. The supplies they would need were piled near the front door. The key to room three hung on a hook by the door as a reminder of the first round. The contestants gathered their things and were followed to their rooms by the camera crews.

“Where do you think we should start?” asked Angel as he surveyed the room.

“I was thinking to start with the ceiling,” answered Jim, “That way we don’t have to worry about getting stuff on the walls.”

“That makes sense,” agreed Angel.

They spent the next two hours patching holes and plastering over the irregular topography of the ceiling. Jim was worried about a stain in one corner.

“I hope it won’t show through the paint. I can’t really plaster over it.”

“Maybe we need an extra layer of primer,” suggested Angel.

“Yeah, that might work.”

“What do you think did that?”

“I don’t know. Maybe rust and water.”

As they worked they wondered about the stain. They also wondered what the camera crew found so interesting about two men patching a ceiling. The whole experience was strange. By lunchtime they had the first coat of primer on the stain and all the patches well on their way to drying. Everyone gathered downstairs, the cameras were turned off, and everyone relaxed a little.

“How’s it going?” asked Tammy.

“Not bad,” answered Jim, “The ceiling was a mess and there’s a weird stain but we fixed most of it.”

“We’ve started patching the walls,” said Dave, “It’s going to be a big job.”

There was a short pause as everyone ate. Then Angel brought up the stain again. “I wonder how that mark on the ceiling got so dark.”

“It must be some kind of water mark,” speculated Jim.

Then Dave and Tammy’s soundman who had been listening asked which room they were working on.

“Number seven,” answered Jim.

“Isn’t that the room where that guy died?” asked the soundman.

“Dude, someone died in all these rooms,” answered a cameraman as he walked up with a plate full of fried chicken.

The soundman did not really care and was happy to change the subject. After lunch Angel and Jim spent the afternoon patching the walls and sanding the spackle. By dinnertime they were tired but happy.

To everyone’s surprise and relief they were instructed not to do anymore work that night. They toasted the news and sat down to eat. Because of the way the contest rules had been written they would be spending the night. Anyone caught sabotaging another couple’s project would be disqualified but they would be free to explore the old house.

After the crew was gone and the dishes were washed an unfamiliar silence fell over the house. The contestants sat by the diner table not sure what to do. Someone suggested making coffee. The bubbling of the coffee maker was a welcome relief from the penetrating stillness.

“This place is too quite,” commented Dave leaning on an old counter, “It’s weird.”

“Or maybe our noisy modern world is weird,” countered Tammy.

They drank their coffee without saying much more and then decided to take a look around. They were all familiar with the living room and the dining room. They now noticed some other smaller rooms on the first floor. One of them seemed to have been some kind of parlor. They were both musty and cold. The couples soon abandoned the rooms for the upstairs area. They tried opening other bedrooms but they were locked and the other contestants had the keys. They were able to open the door to an old library complete with books that seemed to be covered with decades of dust.

The contestants did not stay there long either and soon split up and went to bed. As he was falling to sleep, Jim though he heard Angel moan. Half awake he put his arm around his partner and fell into a deep sleep. Neither of them awoke again until the light of the next morning showed them dry plaster over head. The stain on the ceiling was mostly gone. Immediately after breakfast they covered it with more primer. An hour later they painted the ceiling. They worked on the walls through the afternoon.

Several days later everyone was relieved to find out that the judges had found all their work satisfactory and no one would be sent home. They were warned that the next week would lead to someone’s elimination. Jim and Angel would be back the next Thursday. In the meantime Jim’s writing was steadily getting easier.

Soon they were back in the house working on the walls under the eye of the camera. It did not take long to finish patching and priming the walls. While the primer dried they turned their attention to the floor. The old wood was worn from walking and gouged by the legs of furniture. There was a large scratch in the middle of the room that would require plenty of sanding. Luckily Jim and Angel had dealt with a similar problem in their own home. They would paint the floor and as they sanded it the paint would keep them from sanding some areas too much. As Angel looked at the damaged surface he pointed out something that had bothered him for a while, “You know, its weird that there was all that water damage on the ceiling but nothing on the floor.”

“Yeah, if someone bothered to put a bucket under the leak you would think they would fix the ceiling at some point,” agreed Jim.

By dinnertime they had the floor ready for sanding. They had run out of time to start on the sanding so they carefully moved the bed back into place once the paint had dried. Jim was not completely happy with the order things were getting done but they went downstairs with a sense of accomplishment. They met the other couple in the dinning room and started exchanging stories about their projects.

“I think our room is going to be really nice. It’s really coming along. I just hope we can get a good night’s sleep,” said Tammy.

“Does the excitement keep you awake?” asked Angel.

“No, last week we heard all these noises,” she answered.

“Old house noises,” explained Dave.

“That’s funny. We never heard anything,” said Jim, “We either have a more stable part of the house or we sleep more soundly.”

“Must be,” said Dave, “Our room pops and creaks loud enough to wake the dead.”

Slowly migrating to the kitchen with dirty plates in hand they speculated about the cause of the sounds but could not find a good explanation. Finally, they gave up, blaming it on old beams and pipes. Tammy and Dave decided to try relaxing in their room and Angel went to take a shower. Jim felt himself drawn to the dusty old library. As he walked in he noticed some books laying on the table. They were coated in a strangely uniform brownish dust.

He dusted one off and wondered how long the books had been there. Inside the book he found a history of the old house. As he flipped through the pages a newspaper clipping fell out. It was a report of a suicide in 1906. Someone had killed himself in the attic. The body was discovered when blood began to soak through the ceiling beneath. Jim’s mind immediately turned to the stain he had painted over the previous week. While he stared at the paper he heard his name being called first softly and then louder. It was Angel and his voice was laced with anxiety. Jim put down the paper and went into the hall where he found Angel standing in a bathrobe with a towel in his hand.

“What’s wrong?” asked Jim.

“Nothing. I just wanted to see where you were.”

“You sounded panicked.”

“It’s just the plumbing making weird noises and then you were gone,” explained Angel, “What were you doing?”

“Just looking at some old books,” answered Jim not wanting to give too much detail to his nervous boyfriend.

They walked to their room and soon all thoughts of strange noises were banished. Jim gently pulled off Angel’s robe and Angel pulled off Jim’s shirt.

“You smell good,” whispered Jim as Angel unzipped his pants.

“I just had a bath. You should join me next time,” answered Angel as he switched off the light and led his now naked partner to bed.

As their bodies made contact Jim heard a pleasant familiar sound.

“Mmm, I love it when you moan like that,” he said.

“That was all you,” answered Angel.

“I didn’t moan.”

“I didn’t either.”

They stopped what they were doing and listened as the moaning continued. A second later they were out of bed and searching for the source of the sound. The moaning stopped and they never found what caused it. It took them a long time to get to sleep.

The next day both couples were tired. Tammy and Dave were kept awake by banging noises that they blamed on the plumbing though they really could not explain. They drank more coffee than normal and put in their best effort. Their hard work paid off a few days later when they were allowed to stay in the game while another couple was sent home for a sloppy paint job. Everyone now had just one more week to finish their rooms.

For the next challenge they were joined by Stacey and Dan who had previously been scheduled on different days. They had room number six next door to Jim and Angel. All the contestants started the day in high spirits. By dinnertime Jim and Angel had managed to sand the floor and had even put up some molding around the ceiling. All that remained was staining the floor and repainting the baseboards. When they sat down to eat, a familiar subject came up. Stacey and Dan were hearing strange sounds in their room.

That night Jim and Angel listened quietly for the moaning they had heard the week before. After a long wait they were sure nothing would happened. Then they heard a muffled voice. They quickly recognized it as Stacey saying, “I love it when you kiss me.”

Jim and Angel burst out laughing from both amusement and relief. Then Angel whispered, “I love it when you kiss me.”

As Jim moved closer and kissed Angel they did not notice the soft scratching sounds over head. However, no one could ignore the loud crashing sound that echoed through the house at five the next morning. The six contestants searched the house but found nothing out of place. Later that day the crew searched the home as well but found nothing. Work continued and Jim and Angel were able to concentrate while the others seemed distracted.

Later that week, Dan and Stacey barely survived the elimination. Jim and Angel won a $1000 gift certificate to a remodeling center. Then Tracey informed them that their next challenge was to furnish and decorate their rooms. The attic had a collection of furniture original to the house but there were some new pieces mixed in. The couples would be judged on how well they chose their pieces and the overall appearance of their rooms.

Winning a challenge helped Jim regain his confidence. His writer’s block was gone and he and Angel were now focused on the remodeling. They returned to the site feeling happier than the other remaining couples. They would now all be in the house on the same days because there were only four couples left. They took their familiar places in the living room and their host explained that they would have an hour to look at the contents of the attic. Then they would draw lots to see who would get to choose their items first.

As they surveyed the old dusty furniture Jim noticed something strange. Some of the furniture was covered in gray dust and spider webs. Other pieces were covered in a more fine brownish dust. He showed this to Angel who concluded that some of the pieces had been in the attic for a while but others had been dusted to look like they belonged.

When it was time to draw lots Dave and Tammy picked out the number one. Jim and Angel would be next followed by the other two couples. After the first couple had their turn Jim and Angel found most of the furniture they wanted was still there. They worked quickly to move it to their room.

“At least we know we got the good stuff,” said Angel.

“You are so smart,” said Jim and then turning to the camera added, “He’s my angel.”

Between moving furniture and filming contestant reactions not much more got done that day. As the day drew to a close the crew seemed eager to leave. The producer seemed to take a strange pleasure in getting away from the contestants and the house.

“They really can’t wait to leave for dinner,” commented Kim who had previously had the house on another day.

“They seem eager to get away from here,” said Angel absent-mindedly.

“Maybe we don’t smell so fresh,” said Dan wiping his forehead.

After some brief laughter Fred, Kim’s husband asked, “What do you think they were doing on the roof? I saw some guys going up there on ladders earlier.”

“It’s next week’s project,” said Dan and then imitating the host’s voice, “Contestants, you see that pile of roof tiles…”

Eventually they decided that it must have been repair work. With their stomachs full, their minds returned to the project at hand. While they arranged furniture they could not resist looking at each other’s rooms. As he passed Stacey and Dan’s room Angel complained that they had a nicer bed. Jim had to remind him that the other couple’s bed had been coated with the “new” dust. After carefully arranging and dusting their new furniture, Angel and Jim found their new bed very comfortable. They fell asleep in minutes. At four the following morning they were awakened by horrified screams and a peculiar knocking sound.

“What’s going on?” asked Angel.

“I don’t know. I think its coming from next door,” answered Jim.

In the hallway they found an incoherent and inconsolable Dan and Stacey. The other couples soon gathered around. After regaining some control Dan blurted out, “There was this scratching sound and then the bed started shaking like in that movie where they get possessed!”

There was no more sleep that night. Stacey and Dan left just before sunrise. The others gathered in the living room and tried to make sense of what had happened. When the crew returned filming did not resume. After half a day’s worth of phone calls it was decided that the episode would be split in two. Filming would be postponed to the following Friday.

When they returned a dark atmosphere hung over the house as the host explained the second part of the challenge. They would have to choose the right accessories to go with their furniture. They were presented with a room full of lamps, vases, figurines, pictures, and other decorative items. They would have the day to consider their choices and arrangement. Since one couple had left voluntarily there would be no elimination but they were competing for a prize. Their designs were judged that afternoon and the results were announced before sunset. Dave and Tammy had won a new set of handmade dishes.

Over the next week the remaining contestants were left to wonder what had scared Dan and Stacey badly enough to make them leave. Without knowing what was going to be their next challenge they waited for Saturday. When the day finally came Tracey gave each couple a section of the garden and a budget. They would have two days to landscape the area. Jim and Angel were assigned to an uninspiring and barren part of the back yard.

“How can we fill all this space? Its so empty,” said Jim feeling overwhelmed.

“We have to match it to the house,” said Angel.

“How? This house looks like something out of a twisted fairy tale.

“That’s it. Well make a maze! Like in that story, you know the one with the girl and the rabbit,” Angel struggled to remember the title but his idea was clear in his mind.

“That’s a great idea! We can plant hedges and then add some colorful flours or statues”

Turning to go back to the house Jim though he saw someone watching them from the second story window. There was no time to check. They hurried to the nursery with their crew. Once there they picked some bushes that could be trimmed to rectangular shapes. Luckily the nursery had plenty of them. Then the couple found some inexpensive but whimsical statues and some rose bushes. They returned to the house inspired but would soon regret their decision. They spent the rest of the day digging trenches and inserting root balls.

That night they were more tired than the other couples, who had decided to plant little dainty flour gardens. Once it got too dark to garden or film, a light rain began to fall. By bedtime the rain had evolved into a thunderstorm. Despite his exhaustion Jim forced himself to look over an article he had been working on. He powered up his laptop and did his best to ignore Angel’s eye rolling. The computer popped up a message.

“No way!” exclaimed Jim.

“What?”

“We have wifi,” he paused for a moment as the web browser launched , “That’s weird.”

“What’s weird?” asked Angel taking a seat near his boyfriend.

“The weather report shows no rain, and look at this. It’s live radar. There’s no clouds within miles of here.”

They exchanged puzzled looks as lightning flashed around them. Then the lights flickered. Jim put aside his computer and went to the door.

“Where are you going!” Angel called after him.

“Outside,” answered Jim.

“Why!”

“Something doesn’t make sense here,” answered Jim as he walked down the stairs in the dark with Angel close behind.

Once they opened the front door everything became clear. The rain was making puddles around the house but the street was bone dry. The flashes of light and the thunder were coming from a van parked by the curb.

“It’s fake!” gasped Angel, “Why would they do that?”

Jim did not have an answer. That mystery would have to wait until the following day. They closed the door and went back upstairs. As Jim tried to concentrate on his article he heard someone walking in the house. Angel heard it too.

“I wonder if they are going to turn off the sprinklers on the roof now,” Jim asked.

“Is that how they made it look so real?”

“That’s how they do it for the movies.”

Jim turned his attention back to his computer leaving Angel to think about the producer’s motives. Finally, Angel decided that the storm was meant to make the gardening challenge harder. Half an hour later they were both asleep.

The next morning they woke up early, put on their gardening cloths, and went down stairs. They were surprised to find Dave and Tammy sleeping in the living room. The storm had kept them awake. They explained over breakfast that they had gone to the library to pass the time. They found a dusty old book on the history of the house. According to the book there had been a gruesome death in almost every bedroom. Between that and all the noises they did not want to sleep in their room.

While Angel shoveled dirt later that morning he asked Jim if he had seen the book in the library.

“Yeah. I didn’t want to say anything at the time but it explained the stain on the ceiling,” answered Jim.

“You know what caused that and you never told me!” exclaimed Angel.

“You seemed a little freaked out that night.”

“I want to see that book.”

“It’s just a dusty dirty old book.”

“Fake or real dust?”

The shovel fell out of Jim’s hand. He realized that the book had been covered with the same powder as some of the furniture. “Fake.”

“Well, if the storm was fake and the book was fake, then what is real?”

After thinking for a few seconds Jim answered, “These bushes, but you’re right. There are some things I want to check out when we break for lunch.”

When lunchtime came they ate quickly and then slipped away. Jim took the key to room six off its hook and they went upstairs.

“I want to take a look at that shaking bed,” he said as they approached the room.

“I’m not really in the mood right now. All this mud isn’t really sexy,” joked Angel.

“Very funny,” answered Jim.

One look under the bed explained the shaking. There was an array of pistons under the bed. Next the couple went to their own room. They had noticed a loose panel in the back of the closet. It did not take long to remove it. Behind it was a generous crawlspace and a large speaker.

“That’s what was moaning at night,” explained Jim.

Having solved some mysteries they went back downstairs and followed the other couples back outside. The wet soil made the digging easier and the maze was starting to look good. It was only two feet tall but that allowed the statues and roses to show. They finished their planting just in time for the judging to begin.

Just before sunset the results were announced. Kim and Fred were allowed to stay. Tammy and Dave were sent home because according to their host the garden looked too soggy and droopy. Jim and Angel won a fortune in gardening supplies. They had a moment to say goodbye to Tammy and Dave. Then their next challenge was announced.

“Congratulations do-it-yourselfers,” smiled Tracey, “There are only two couples left. For your next challenge you will have to take care of some unfinished business. You will complete an unfinished bedroom. Which one you work on will be your choice. Take a moment to think it over. Since you are last week’s winners, Jim and Angel, you will choose first.”

“Let’s get number six,” whispered Jim to his partner.

“Why?”

“Because it already looks pretty good and we know about the bed.”

They chose room six. The other couple chose a much less finished room two. Then the contestants left for the week and the crew began setting up some new surprises.

On Friday morning they were given an hour to plan their remodeling. Then they presented their idea for approval. Jim and Angel had spent the weekend planning and were well prepared. As soon as they said they wanted to work on the floor a few crewmembers were sent to move the furniture. The given reason for the extra help was safety but Jim and Angel struggled not to laugh. As they started working on the floor a loud scratching noise came form behind a wall.

“Someone must be spackling back there,” said Angel with an innocent smile.

As Jim brought in some more tools he noticed a finger sized hole in the wall. “Speaking of spackle,” he said pointing to the hole.

“You don’t have to worry about that,” chimed in the usually silent cameraman.

After getting strange looks from Jim and Angel he explained, “We were going to run some cables through there. Its our fault.”

It was not a place where one would expect to find a cable coming out. Upon further inspection, the couple recognized the familiar but miniature reflection of a camera lens. Neither of them said anything. They exchanged smiles knowing it was now their turn to take control of the game.

They made short work of the floor. It was in much better condition than the one in room seven. With a coat of wax it looked good as new. While they were sanding the baseboards the producer’s assistant informed them that they would be spending the night in room five to let the wax dry.

“Why can’t we just stay in our old room,” asked Angel.

“I don’t know. It was the producer’s idea,” answered the assistant.

There was an awkward silence. Then the couple went back to sanding. They worked uninterrupted until dinnertime. As they sat in the dining room they almost felt sorry for their competition who described all the problems they had with their room. The bottles of wine that were normally shared by at least six people were now finished by four. While Kim and Fred were finally able to relax Jim and Angel were completely silly by the end of the meal. When they went up to their room after dinner Angel immediately spotted a hole in the wall. “Oh look, a cable hole,” he said with a smile.

“And look they even left some cable in the air vent,” added Jim as he peered through the grate at what was most likely video equipment.

They made a point of getting ready for bed early. Angel got in bed first while Jim organized a few things. Predictably, the bed started shaking.

“Oh my gosh, the bed is shaking!” exclaimed Angel, “It’s just like that room in Vegas! Hop on, babe.”

Jim quickly climbed into bed. “Hey let’s jump on it,” said Jim.

They got up and celebrated the producer’s almost certain disappointment with some exaggerated disco moves and laughter. Eventually the bed stopped shaking and a loud moaning emanated form behind one of the walls. This also inspired giggles.

“You know, if we could stop laughing, maybe we could do some of our own moaning,” said Angel.

“Your right! It’s our big chance to make a porno and we’re blowing it and not in a good way,” answered Jim.

“Oh yeah, I forgot about the cable holes,” said Angel laughing again.

He then leapt out of bed and positioned his pajama-clad hips in front of one of the lower holes. Jim got behind him and made some suggestive gestures. With that the moaning behind the wall stopped. Nothing more happened and as the alcohol wore off the couple fell asleep. They had a calm night.

The next morning they found that their competition had not faired so well. Fred and Kim had been harassed all night by strange noises, lights, and shadows. Jim and Angel exchanged guilty looks but did not say anything. They had not neglected telling the other couple about their discoveries out of cruelty. They had just been too occupied with their own adventures.

The final day of remodeling went smoothly for both couples though one was much better rested. Then they were sent away for an anxious week of waiting before the final episode. When the day of the big announcement finally came everyone was excited. The old house had been decorated as if for a holiday party. Their host was dressed in a long silver gown. The couples were positioned in their customary spots and after a few adjustments their host began her speech.

“Well contestants, you have completed your final challenge. At the beginning of this competition you were told that you would be judged on your remodeling skills. We have also been judging you on your courage and ability to deal with the unexpected. All the strange things you have been seeing and hearing were created by our special effects department. Although both of you survived until the end only one couple can win. The winners are Jim and Angel! Come outside and see what you won!”

Outside the front door they were showered with fake snow and glitter and the applause of all the other contestants. They were presented with a check for fifteen thousand dollars and a beautiful new car. The moment seemed to last forever as they exchanged hugs and high fives with those around them.

A few hours later when the festivities were over Angel said to Jim, “I love it when you get writer’s block.”

“That was an isolated incident!”

“Don’t get all defensive. It’s not like I said you were impotent.”

“Angel!”

“What?”

“You put me through this haunted house escapade to cure something that would have probably gone away on its own.”

“It was only a game, we won, and you liked it.”

“Angel.”

“Yeah.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

© 2008 jfalkon

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