Coloring Outside the Lines - 2. Chapter 2

Sev

Ruby and I walked downstairs from our apartment to the back door of the tattoo studio, which took up the entire main floor. Ava, always thinking into the future, had worked her ass off at the hospital, and gotten a large life insurance policy for herself as soon as she could afford to. The money the insurance company had paid out after her death had put me more than halfway to having enough to buy the small, old building that’d needed a whole lot of TLC, in a decently traveled corner of El Barrio. I’d gotten it fairly cheap for NYC property, partially because it’d been zoned for business with living conditions above, but mostly because of the amount of work that was needed to make it habitable as both a storefront on the bottom, with an apartment above it. I’d raided my savings and taken out a loan to aggressively pay off the rest.

I’d bought the place because after Ava had been killed, I’d decided that I wanted to be my own boss doing something I both loved and was good at. Ruby had and still needed a stable home with a parent that brought everything they could to the table. Being a family was important to me, and having the time and money, and the goal of my daughter at the end of the tunnel, had motivated the countless hours of pain, sweat, tears, and colorful profanity that I’d invested into raising the place up from her studs, and turned into my vision with a lot of help from the handy friends I’d made when I’d worked construction for a few years to make ends meet.

The day I’d opened the doors to Ink & Steel, was one of the proudest of my life.

When we’d renovated, I’d left most of the turn of the century woodwork and trimmings that could be salvaged, and just contemporized the vintage a little. I liked having whispers of the old in the new, setting the building apart from both the more ramshackle ones bracketing it, and the new condos going up in the neighborhood which continued to pour hipsters and yuppies into the previously all-Latino community. Considering that I was all Eastern European according to my blood line, I probably didn’t have much room to talk, but I’d made El Barrio my home with Ava, and that had just continued with Ruby so as far as I was concerned, I belonged here.

Most new residents however, and the increasing hospital system that was gobbling up properties like a mad game of Hungry Hippos – one of Ruby’s favorites—threatened to take the formerly purely Spanish speaking neighborhood through a cultural “diversifying” Renaissance, like its surrounding brethren in Harlem and The Heights. It was inevitable that at some point, the small corner store bodegas, and spray-painted storefront roller shutters would be replaced by high end lofts and Mini-Coopers, but for now, the area was an interesting balance of past and future.

Before going into the studio, Ruby and I stopped to pick up my usual morning roll and black coffee, and Ruby’s piece of pan caliente from the little Puerto Rican bakery on the corner of the street. The elderly owners, the Morenos, had no children of their own, so they’d semi-adopted Ruby after we’d moved into the neighborhood, and began making the bakery a mandatory start to our day. I’d been accepted by default, despite their unashamed vocal protests about all of my ink, and my preferences for the people I dated, being ones I’d never be able to procreate with.

As I paid for our breakfast, they chatted back and forth with Ruby in Spanish, trying to include me in the conversation like they always did, even though I’d tried explaining to them on multiple occasions at nauseum in my broken Spanish complete with hand signals, that the only Latino thing about me was my surname. They also knew that hard as I tried, my Spanish was lousy except for my extensive dictionary of dirty words, despite Ava trying to teach me. I just had a lousy ear for languages, so nothing stuck. Ruby, however, was fluent from the influence of both the Morenos, and Aiden. My best friend didn’t have any Latino roots either— he was all blonde hair and cornfed muscle that came along with being originally from Lancaster, Pennsylvania. But he’d also bought the Rosetta Stone software when he’d started working at the tattoo studio. Aiden had wanted to try and get fluent enough in Spanish to have conversations with people in the community because that was just the kind of considerate, and good person he was. And now, he spoke it as fluently as a native Latino.

Goddamnit, here we go again.

I let Aiden hang out in the fringes of my mind while Ruby finished giving out hugs to the Morenos, who snuck an extra treat into our brown paper bag before handing it to me. I pretended that I didn’t see them do it like I always did, because I knew that they wouldn’t let me pay for it. Their pride didn’t extend to their employee tip jar though, so I always stuck my change in it on my way out the door.

I waved goodbye to the Morenos, and after we walked outside, I handed Ruby a piece of the custard filled powdered donut that the elderly couple had slipped into the brown paper bag with my bagel, and her pan caliente.

Ruby grinned with sheepish triumph for scoring a breakfast that was probably only marginally more sugar laden than her favorite breakfast cereal. She hummed happily, eating her piece of donut with the hand I didn’t hold as we crossed the street to walk the short distance back to the shop to open up for the day.

The nighttime roller shutters painted with the studio logo were already up, letting me know that Aiden was there. He was the only person besides me and my store manager Lacey, who had keys to the shop. Since Lacey wasn’t due to show for another 2 hours, process of elimination told me that Aiden was somewhere inside, and my headache flared up again.

I stifled a sigh. My best friend was the last person I needed to see right now considering how pokey I was feeling, but even if he hadn’t worked with me, Aiden was my best friend, and never someone I could dodge for long. A point proven when I heard his deep, mellow baritone that could calm hysterical people who needed emergency medical care, no matter the situation, call out from one of the back rooms, asking who had walked in.

Ruby let go of my hand immediately with a happy squeal, answering the question for me as she whooped Aiden’s name, and ran ahead to find her second favorite person in the world—a fact she routinely shared with both Aiden and me, and anyone else who would listen.

I followed the lilting sound of little girl laughter down the short hallway, and Ruby waved like a lunatic windmill the minute she saw me in the doorway, announcing my arrival with a happy, bossy cry of, “Come on Daddy!”

Aiden had his back to the doorway, so that gave me about ten seconds to drink in the sight of my best friend’s long, strong legs in battered blue jeans that sat low on his narrow hips, perfectly hugging an ass so perky and tight that I wished, like I too often did, that I had a quarter to bounce off of it to test the firmness. His white tank top was a twin of the dark gray one that I’d changed into after a quick shower at home this morning while Ruby had watched cartoons, but if I was honest, fit as I was, Aiden wore it a hell of a lot better, filling out the shoulders and midsection with more tight muscle than a man who ate fast food crap all the time like he did, had any right to be stacked with. His dark blonde hair was newly buzzed short, and softly spiked up slightly in front. I knew from experience of mussing it because it irked him, that it would feel like soft, prickly fuzz if I ran my palm over it the wrong way. The faint razor burn just below his ears was the only thing that marred Aiden’s otherwise perfect, fair skin.

Despite working in the tattoo studio for the past two years, I still hadn’t been able to wear Aiden down into letting anyone touch that beautiful blank canvas with so much as a lick and stick tattoo. Frustrating as it was to most of my other staff who wore their artwork with pride, his stubbornness didn’t faze me. Without any added pigmentation, I could admire Aiden for the man he was, and not just the colors in his skin. That said however, I planned to be the one to ink him up if he ever came over to the dark side. If that was the only way I’d ever get my hands on him that intimately, you could be sure as fuck I’d take it.

When he turned and saw me, Aiden’s grin was warm and immediate, highlighting the high angles of his cheekbones, and the chiseled features softened by his five o’clock shadow, which was much lighter than my own dark scruff.

“Bout time you got here,” he said, thankfully interrupting my visual assessment before it could get me into trouble. He shifted Ruby to his hip, and she snuggled into Aiden, as comfortable with him as she was with me. “Our first client will be here in ten minutes. Anthony’s taking him.”

“Good. When’s the next one?”

“In an hour at ten-thirty. That’s me, with that skinny chick with the Phoenix on her back that you started a few months ago, and I finished when you sprained your wrist. She wants to build on that and wrap it up around her left shoulder.”

I nodded, remembering the tattoo more than I did the client. I was terrible with names—as proven this morning with my regrettable one-night stand— but I always recognized and remembered my own ink. “Sounds cool. I liked her. She was good with Ruby when she was here.”

“Yeah, she was easy on the eyes too. She wanted something a little bigger than your tattoo needle though.”

Aiden grinned when I snorted.

“She couldn’t handle it. Had to stop a dozen times while I was inking her to give her a break.”

“Ooo are you saying your needle is that overwhelming? No wonder Lacey’s always complaining that she can’t keep up with your schedule because people are lining up left and right to be done by you.”

His grin deepened when I discreetly scratched my left temple with my right middle finger in response, so he got the message while the gesture went right over Ruby’s head.

He smirked. “You should be so lucky.”

Yes, yes, I should.

“I have too much on my plate to add you to my dance card, baby, but I’ll write you a raincheck anytime.”

Aiden grinned, not batting an eyelash as went through our usual exchange of seeing who could give the other the most shit. Aiden knew I was gay in the WHOA, pussies need not apply! sense, but he’d never cared one way or the other. I couldn’t say the same knowing he was straight, since I’d wanted to yank bald every woman he’d dated after Ava.

Ruby interrupted our good-natured pissing match by gently patting Aiden’s face to get his full attention again. “Uncle AD, we have fwendly gwosts in our howse.”

Aiden glanced at me, his lips twitching when he caught my muffled sigh.

“A ghost huh? Can you tell me about it?”

Ruby’s slim shoulder rose and fell as she played with the most current lick and stick tattoo that Aiden had given her to add to the growing collection on her right arm. They ranged from bright, vibrant new shades of color to older, grimier ones that frequent baths hadn’t yet disintegrated.

“I didn’t see it, but Daddy and I both heard it shlamming doors. It swounded mad.”

I focused on getting my tools set up on my desk, ignoring both Aiden and the sudden burning sensation I could feel in my ears. I wasn’t embarrassed by much in life, but I knew when I was in deep shit with Aiden even though he wouldn’t call me out on my poor choices until Ruby was out of earshot.

“Realllly? What time was this?”

She shrugged again, “Early. I woke up cause it wash hot, and wensht to get Daddy, but his door was clowsed. He wash talking’ to hisself…” She paused, her little face brightening as a thought occurred to her. “Or maybe he wash twalking to the gwost!”

They both turned to look at me in expectation that I caught in my peripheral vision. When Aiden cleared his throat pointedly, I looked up to glance first at him, then at Ruby. Her gaze was all questioning excitement, while Aiden’s was just entertained as fuck with an obvious and hearty side of disapproval.

Yep, deep shit time was coming.

“Did you swee the gwost, Daddy?”

“Yeah, Daddy, did you see the ghost?” Aiden echoed.

“You need to find something to color on while Daddy works,” I said, addressing Ruby as I ignored Aiden. “Did you pick something out? Lacey told me she got you a new box of the 36 pack crayons.”

Ruby lit up, easily distracted by the allure of a brand-new box of colorful magic just like I’d been at her age, and still was, whenever I was able to take a break away from inking and just freeform with spray paint, and a blank wall. I’d done all of the murals on the alley side of the studio, as well as some of the commemorative ones for music artists and nostalgic scenes in the neighborhood that the local community board had commissioned the previous year. Even though Ruby wasn’t biologically mine, I’d always fostered that creative spark she showed in everything from her art to her quirky wardrobe choices. We’d finally settled on a hot pink romper with zebra print sneakers that matched the oversized bow I’d managed to rein her wild curls in with, at least until halfway through the day when it’s inevitably flop to one side like it always did from both the weight and her exuberant embracing of life. Color and texture were her jam, and I shamelessly exploited that love of creation now to try and exit this conversation as quickly as possible.

Aiden’s expression was all-knowing, but I continued to ignore him until Ruby handed me the Xerox copies she’d decided to color. She always picked from the tattoos and designs I’d done in the past, but there were a few books I didn’t let her go through. Obviously, Aiden had forgotten that.

He shrugged when I held up the picture of a buxom blonde in a string bikini who was riding a tiger. The illustration’s bathing suit covered more than the dental floss G-strings I routinely saw on real women on Orchard Beach in the summer. Considering the number of men who’d found their way through my previously revolving door of one night stands pre-Ruby, I wasn't a prude, but she was my kid. She should’ve been coloring in butterflies and fairies frolicking among flowers, not the definition of a girl who grew up in a fatherless home.

“Hey, it’s what she picked out. You left that book on top of the others in the stack of the usual ones she picks through.”

“Seriously? That’s your answer?”

“I like the twiger,” Ruby interrupted. “I want to worsk in the cwircus one day, so I can ride elfwents and twigers.”

Aiden exchanged a glance with me, then shrugged again as if silently pointing out that at least most circus carnies weren't wrapping themselves around a stripper pole.

"She's wearing zebra striped sneakers, Sev."

Yeah, no. I ignored Aiden.

“A tiger would eat you, honey.”

Ruby scowled at me, looking so much like Ava despite her much fairer Anglo features from her unknown donor, that for a moment, some of the earlier ache welled up inside my heart. I wanted to hug her, but Ruby would have none of that emotionally supportive, gentle parenting while she was throwing down.

“Itsh going to be a fwendly tiger, Daddy.” She scoffed at my skepticism. “If a gwost is fwendly, why can’t a twiger be too?”

She didn’t wait for an answer, dismissing me with one little hand wiggling through the air, refusing to let me rain on her parade.

“Uncle AD, can I color in your chwair?”

“For a little while, kiddo,” he agreed. “When I have to start work, you have to sit with Lacey up front, okay?”

“Okay.”

When Ruby was safely settled out of earshot in the next room, which was easily visible through the doorway because of the building’s layout, and the position of my chair, Aiden leaned back against the old buffet table where I kept all off my equipment. His brown eyes crinkled with amusement though the rest of his expression was serious.

“Friendly ghosts?”

I shrugged as he moved away from the buffet table so that I could start getting ready for my day. The chair he dragged over, skid across the linoleum floor for a moment in a soft screech that irritated the lingering remains of this morning’s headache, before he straddled it backwards so he could stack his arms across the top and watch me while we talked. He was careful to angle his chair, so he didn’t block my view of Ruby, and I sighed. Such a good man.

“I thought you didn’t bring random guys over anymore while Ruby was home.”

I shrugged again, ignoring the chastising since I knew I deserved it. “He wasn’t so random,” was the response that sounded lame even to my own ears. “It was that guy with the black flames inked all over his back that ended in the points at the crack of his perfect ass. Tall, blue eyes, black hair…he said he’s a veterinarian?”

Aiden’s eyes lightened with recognition because of course he would remember.

“Oh, Jeremy Ren. I remember him,” he said. “Though he didn’t seem the booty call type when he asked for your number.”

Shrugging seemed the most appropriate response when your love life was being dissected by the one guy you wanted and couldn’t have, so I stuck with it.

“I had a rough night. Needed a little tension release, and he was willing until he suddenly forgot the ground rules, I laid out last night about no morning cuddling.”

Aiden met my eyes without flinching. I dropped my gaze first. I’d be damned before I met the sympathy in Aiden’s. The last thing I needed to do, was start bawling at work. It would destroy any remaining street cred I still had, considering my blinged out black SUV decorated with the sleek studio logo, had a baby seat in the back, and extra cheddar Goldish crackers in a kid-friendly, hot pink plastic container in the cupholder.

“Sev, you do this to yourself every year, man. Screwing someone stupid isn’t going to bring Ava back.”

“Technically I was the one being screwed, at least part of the time,” I corrected, forcing a smile I hoped didn’t look as tense as my spine felt the moment Aiden said my sister’s name. Anyone else would’ve gotten snarled at for bringing her up right now, but Aiden had as much reason to miss her as I did, so I was forced by the bounds of friendship to give him a reluctant pass when he poked my inner bear.

“It was just sex, Aiden. Jesus. No need to make a federal case out of it. A guy has needs. It’s not like I completely play monk the other 364 days of the year.”

“Yeah, but your ‘needs’ increase around the same time every year. I bet if I were to go to your place right now, we’d make a mint recycling all the beer bottles in your bedroom.”

I regretted glancing up when I saw Aiden’s grim expression.

“You should go do something today that keeps you away from the booze.”

“Do what?”

“I don’t know. Take a walk. Go to a movie. Get a piragua.”

“You really think that shaved ice drowned in flavored syrup is going to work today?”

“You know you like orange and cream ones,” he pointed out. He was right, but I refused to admit it. Street cred and all.

Aiden sighed when I remained silently. “Fine, just go anywhere that keeps you away from bars, and getting plastered. Ava wouldn’t want to see you like this.”

My temper flared, and my tongue got ahead of my brain before I could stop it. “Good thing she’s dead then, so she doesn’t have to. She was dead yesterday, and the day before that, and guess what? She was dead the day before that. She’s still going to be dead when I wake up tomorrow Aiden, and I’ll have to come to work then. One day off doesn’t make a damn difference.”

I regretted the caustic words immediately when Aiden’s expression went from understanding to angry in the span of a second.

“Don’t be a dick, Sev,” he warned. “I’ll lay you the fuck out.”

From another man those words would’ve inspired a smart-ass comeback about enjoying every minute off being laid out, but considering Aiden was straight, the comment had absolutely zero carnal implications. I was strong, I was scrappy, and in a knock-down, drag-out fight, when my anger knew no boundaries because going down would either make me someone’s bitch in foster care, or a constant target, I could hold my own. But I’d never hurt Aiden, and I knew that as reluctant as he would be to hurt me, he could still kick my ass six ways from Sunday. He had in the past when I’d needed it. Growing up in rural Pennsylvania on a farm before he’d come to NYC for school, meant he’d honed all that corn-fed muscle into a serious challenge unless I was willing to go for the KO.

I took a breath, then released it slowly in an audible, nonverbal Mea culpa until Aiden’s body language relaxed. His tone was softer when he spoke again.

“You know I miss her too, Sev. We all do. Ava was special, and today isn’t easy for anyone. Just be careful, and the next time you feel like you’re going to lose it, call me. I’ll take Ruby to my mom’s place, and we’ll get drunk together. Just don’t be stupid when she’s at home with you.”

“I know how to take care of my kid, Aiden. Ruby doesn’t know about my hookups. She never saw Jeremy leave.”

“No, she didn’t, but she does think your house is haunted now,” Aiden said, ignoring the heat creeping back into my tone despite my best efforts. “Giving the kid nightmares isn’t going to help anyone, so stop being a selfish prick.” His arched brow dared me to protest.

I forced another slow exhalation. I knew he was right, and Aiden knew I knew it, but we also both knew what a hot head I could be even after years of working on that particular personality flaw. I’d been working on it for years though, so, when my instinct defiance bubbled up, I reminded myself that the last thing I needed today was an explosion that would result in me getting my ass handed to me by my best friend, and I managed to shove my frustration back down into its bottle like an angry genie.

I exhaled slowly one more time. “You’re right. I’m sorry. Having a guy over while Ruby was home was a bad move. I’ve never done that before.”

“I know, which is how I know it’s bad, and why you need a break.”

I laced my hands behind my head, twisting first to one side and then the other. I stretched after I felt my spine crack as it realigned after a long night of stress that’d been temporarily relived by amazing sexual hijinks until this morning. “I just can’t find the way up this week, Aiden. It’s never easy, but this year… I don’t know. It’s just rougher.”

“And I get that, which is why I think you should go home. We can handle things here just fine. I’ll have Lacey reschedule your appointments.”

I shook my head, settling my hands on my thighs as I rubbed them restlessly through the worn fabric of my jeans. “I love you for caring man, but if I don’t give myself something to do, I’m going to lose my mind. More than that, I don’t want Ruby associating this one day a year with sadness just because I can’t handle my shit.”

“She knows her mother died, Sev.”

“She knows it in kid terms,” I corrected. “Death to them is the “Mr. Fishy getting flushed down the toilet” kind of dead. You can just get a new fish. I can’t buy her a new mom, so if she never learns to miss, Ava, I’ll be a happy man.”

Aiden’s expression softened enough to make me look away again.

“You can’t protect her forever.”

“A minute ago, you said I wasn’t protecting her at all. Make up your mind.”

“Hey,” Aiden said, catching my arm before I could settle into a childish sulk I’d inevitably regret later when both my moronic macho and my conscience caught up with me.

“I know you’re a good dad. But you’re also human, and today’s a suck ass day all around. I’m just looking out for you. You and Ruby are my family. You know that.”

I did know that, so I sighed in acknowledgement. “OK. No more late-night hook-ups. Just me and my right hand from now on.”

“I didn’t say that. I think you should date someone Sev. But date them. You know, dinner, a movie, and if it works out that you two actually like each other, feel free to shake your groove thing. Just stop with the one-night stand bullshit. Find a good guy who’ll hold your hand in public, and call you snookums.”

My lips twitched at the tease. Aiden knew about my severe, almost life-threatening allergy to PDA’s.

“Pendejo,” I said with casual affection using one of the few useful words in my limited second language stash since ‘moron’ sounded better in Spanish, even with my lousy accent. “I don’t have time to join the dating pool where piranhas swim. Romancing someone takes effort, and more time than I’ve got. I’ll live vicariously through your relationships because ‘nice guys,’ don’t want my baggage, or my kid any more than a one-night stand does, so why complicate sex with romance?”

“Because you deserve it?”

I snorted, looking somewhere in the vicinity of Aiden’s collar bone when he turned, not daring to meet my best friend’s gaze as his tone softened. That was the sound of the Aiden who’d propped me up whenever I’d needed him, except in the one way that’d give me all the rights in the world to look him right in the eyes and tell him that I’d found that guy, but he wasn’t available.

Instead, I focused on Aiden’s clavicle since there was no way that I could look at the way the white fabric of his shirt stretched across his chest, highlighting each rounded groove and lift of muscle that I knew he honed with long gym workouts, and runs through Central Park. I definitely couldn’t look at anything below his waist if I wanted to survive the next few minutes with my remaining sanity intact.

“You do,” Aiden insisted. “But I don’t think you’ve been with anyone for more than a night since that guy you were dating right after Ava and I broke it off.”

“Who?”

The blonde dude. Tall. Deep Dimples. Southern accent.”

“Monty?”

I paused as Aiden’s description jogged my memory, though his not remembering Monty’s name surprised me. Then again, I hadn’t thought of my ex in years. When Aiden brought him up though, my mind quickly filled in the blanks of blonde hair, bright blue eyes, and the low rumble of a great laugh. Monty had been a decent, smart, kind guy, and we’d gotten along better than anyone else I’d ever dated. It’d just never clicked enough between us for either of us to want to take the next step. Of course, part of that was probably that though I’d cared about Monty and had genuinely wanted to give us a chance, Aiden had always snuck into my thoughts, and kept me from completely committing. Of course, I’d never told Monty that and he’d never asked, but I think he’d always suspected it on some level, so I hadn’t objected when he’d said he wanted to call it quits.

“Yeah, Monty,” Aiden said, interrupting my thoughts. “Whatever happened to him? You guys were hot and heavy for a while.”

“He moved to Wisconsin for work, but even before that, things between us were complicated. Different interests. Then Ava died, and things got even more screwed up.” Which was partly true. “I don’t blame him. It was too much for anyone to handle.”

Waving a hand, Aiden dismissed my self-derision. “Bull. I handled it. You just have to find the right guy.”

My voice was impressively casual when I grinned at Aiden. “Well, if I could wield my happy fairy wand and clone you gay, I’d be in business. Till then it’s me and my five best friends,” I said as I wiggled my fingers.

I knew I’d hit the right balance between flip and truthful when Aiden’s lips creased into a grin.

“You wouldn’t want me to be gay—couldn’t handle my fabulousness. I’d end up finding some rich husband who’d sweep me out of here to France or something, and then where would you be?”

Dejected and depressed.

“You hate French food,” I reminded him as I rolled my stool over to my work station to flip through the company calendar and see what my schedule looked like. Lacey had booked me solid for the entire week, which would be a welcome distraction even if it was tough on both my back and hands. Not to mention my eyes. They’d been privy to some pretty gnarly body parts in the last few years. It was amazing what people, especially women, wanted tattooed or pierced. Sometimes I felt more like a gynecologist than a tattoo artist.

Aiden trailed after me like a sexy, irritating shadow. “So, Italy then. I love the architecture and Italian food.”

He grinned when I rolled my eyes.

“More like you love Italian women.”

“Well that too, but in this version of our world I’m gay right? Only hotdogs need apply.”

“I see. And in this new world order where you embrace dick and ass, what position do you play?”

“Does it matter?”

Don’t go there Sev. You know better.

Of course, I knew better, but throughout history, men have been notoriously stupid with managing the constant battle of wills between dick and brain when it comes to the object of their affections. Troy had fallen because a beautiful, mythical woman whose face not one artistic or Hollywood rendition could agree upon, had started a war of raging hormones.

There was nothing fabricated about Aiden though. He was very real, and right in front of me, so my dick was suddenly in conflict with my common sense.

“Yeah it does. I want to know where you’d fit into a little gay baseball game. So, catcher or pitcher?”

Dumbass.

I was too emotionally amped, and way too hung over to be playing with fire like this. Opening myself up to full-on visuals that would peak to 3D levels in my imaginative mind if I wasn’t careful was stupid, but that seemed to be the theme today. Aiden had opened a can of worms, and I wanted a peek inside.

Aiden grinned. “I don’t know. Whichever feels better? What are you?”

“A fucking American All-Star. It all feels good with someone who knows what they’re doing, and I don’t like labels like top or bottom, dominant or submissive. I fuck how I want to, depending on my mood.”

“That sounds good to me.”

Aiden grinned when I quirked a brow in an obvious what the fuck.

“What? If you can switch, why couldn’t I?”

“A lot of men prefer to pick a side and stay there.”

“Sounds boring. I like options.”

Sweet Jesus.

Reminding myself that this was just a hypothetical game to Aiden was all that kept me from backing his amazing ass into my chair, and proving just how willing I was to play an inning with him.

That and the fact that my kid was in the next room coloring in a picture of a woman with obvious daddy issues, and kinks for living dangerously.

Trying to keep my tone light was harder than I wanted it to be, so I tried to play off my surprise with a snort.

“You’d seriously let some guy stick his cock up your virgin ass?”

Aiden shrugged. “Some women I’ve been with like it, and guys have an 'insider' advantage, right?” Another of those shit-eating grins was tossed my way when he realized he’d caught me off guard.

“Maybe I should make the theoretical a reality one day… see what it’s like on your end of the world.”

I almost swallowed my tongue, but logic overcame temptation and kept me from one upping the conversation by offering to give him a very thorough crash course in properly eating his ass out until he came with at least three fingers stretching him out before I fucked him stupid. I knew that Aiden was just fucking with me, trying to distract me out of my funk about Ava.. His obvious amusement declared it loud and clear, as had years of watching him date gorgeous women, including my sister. All that information added up to the most effective cock block ever.

I flipped him off. “You’re a dick.”

“Hey, my goal was to distract you from your pity party for one, and it worked, right?”

I rolled my eyes, and Aiden chuckled.

“Sev, you’re a great dad with an even greater kid, but you’re also a good person who happens to be young and hot. The whole DILF thing. Capitalize on it.”

My repeated eye roll, and the reasonable part of my brain that I’d just been channeling two seconds ago, didn’t stop my heart from thudding in my chest the way it always did when Aiden got all Oprah sensitive on me, and tried to boost me up to fly with the eagles and all that other happy horse shit that I generally hated. I was impressed that he knew what DILF stood for though, and had to hide my smile

“Right.”

“You are. I’ve seen you naked before, so it’s not like I’m just talking out of my ass.”

“When did you fucking see me naked?”

Despite being friends for seven years, I was well aware of how little control I had over certain body parts when Aiden was around, so I didn’t make a habit of walking around in the buff, especially when he stayed the night at my place downstairs on the couch.

“One time at the gym when you got out of the shower.”

Aiden shrugged when my pierced left eyebrow shot up and held. I was queerer than a Spring parade, but I knew that locker room etiquette among straight men, even the most open-minded, had an unspoken, but very firm rule of, “thy shall not ogle another’s package,” in place.

“I was curious how far down your ink went,” Aiden said, reading the silent question that my one eyebrow asked. “You’ve told me before that there’s not much left of you to tattoo, so I was curious about the ones you’ve never shown me.”

“And what did you think?” My voice no longer sounded casual, but at this point I didn’t care.

Aiden’s lips quirked upwards in that slow, lazy way that always made my traitorous cock say hello.

“Now I know why every gay guy that comes in here wants a piece of you.”

All the air was suddenly sucked out of the room as I inhaled hard. I could feel a dull flush scrawling up my cheeks even though as a general rule I didn’t have much insecurity about my body, or any sense of false modesty. Like Aiden had said, I was hot and knew it by how easy it was to pick men up at whatever bar I decided to frequent, but knowing that random men found me attractive wasn’t earth shattering news. That Aiden agreed…

Well, fuck me. Figuratively and literally if you’re feeling froggy.

I knew better than to put as much stock in this as I was because Aiden had always considered it his sacred duty as my best friend, to routinely bust my balls. He didn’t have any macho hang ups or fear of becoming queer by association, so teasing and giving me shit was what he did on a normal basis. I’d run out of fingers and toes years ago to count the number of times he’d catcalled me when I was dressed up to go out, or came home to a walk of shame when he’d been living with Ruby and I for a few months after I’d first gotten custody of her, so I’d have help. I was used to that level of ball-breaking, but this was the first time that Aiden had ever taken things this far, and he didn’t look embarrassed in the slightest. Instead, there was an unusual intensity in his blue-green gaze that would’ve set him dead center on my gaydar had I not known with complete, and utter fucking certainty that Aiden was straight, and that this was just his way of trying to get my mind off of Ava.

It was working because like most people I couldn’t multi-task, no matter what I might’ve said to the contrary to anyone else. Right now, there was no room for Ava in my mind while there were thoughts of Aiden dancing naked in my head.

Fuck sugar plums.

I cleared my throat hard, shoving at Aiden’s strong, muscled arm when he leaned against the edge of my desk.

“Okay, time to fuck off now.”

“Wait,” Aiden said as he grabbed my wrist, locking his long fingers firmly around it before I could put a safe distance between us. He tugged me closer, forcing me to turn back to face him.

Standing this close to one another we were almost eye to eye, close to matched in height, though Aiden had about thirty pounds of muscle on me—all of it in the right places. I kept my eyes off those places since I wasn’t exactly sure what the fuck was happening right now, only that I liked whatever this was. And when I liked something, it almost always blew up in my face.

“All bullshit aside, you’re a good man Sev, and worth the time someone needs to put in. Remember that, ok?”

There was only sincerity in Aiden’s eyes when I reluctantly met them. It took every last thin shred of common sense I still possessed, to keep from leaning in and closing the gap between our mouths. Kissing my straight, albeit overly confident, mouthy best friend in the middle of my workplace in broad daylight, with my kid in the next room, wasn’t even an option, so I just nodded with a rough grunt that Aiden took for the noncommittal acknowledgement that it was.

Aiden winked as he let me go. As he walked away from me to his own room to tickle Ruby out of his chair, he seemed oblivious to the fact he’d just blown up my world, and kicked the burning remains sideways.