Scarred Souls - 3. Chapter 3

III: Bodily Harm

Josh was alone when he awoke the next morning. He didn't remember much from the previous night just that after Andrew had finished beating him with his goddamn belt he had carried Josh into his bedroom and raped him brutally in the very bed Josh was now waking up in.

Josh had been almost unconscious by the time he'd been carried into bed, thanks to the pain of being hit again and again with the leather belt and even sometimes the belt buckle. He hadn't even felt the rape when it had happened...

But now, the morning after, when he was wide awake and able to feel again, the pain in his back and buttocks were overwhelming. His whole body was throbbing as he threw the covers away and stood up from the bed.

As he stumbled into the bathroom and fell to his knees on the tiled floor, he saw that he had nasty looking bruises on his inner thighs and that dried blood was smudged out all over them.

Josh didn't even want to see his back, but he knew that he had to, so he slowly got up from the floor, supporting himself on the counter. He turned around and glanced over his shoulder at the mirror. His whole back was a bloody mess; a mess of coagulated blood.

His stomach twisted by the sight of it, and he quickly snapped his head away from the mirror and stepped into the shower. He turned the hot water on and just stood there, letting it hit his face and chest, for a few minutes. After a while the hot water made him relax, and after he managed to gather some courage, he started to slowly, gently, wash his wounded back. It hurt like hell, but it had to be done. A few of the cuts started to bleed again as he was washing them, but he bit his lower lip and squeezed his eyes shut to keep the moans of pain from coming out loud.

After his back was clean of the dried blood, Josh started in on his thighs. That hurt too, especially when he touched the purple-coloured bruises.

When he finally exited the shower he wrapped a towel around his bony hips and walked out in front of the mirror again. He leaned on the counter and stared first at his face, he had dark rings under his eyes, and then he lowered his eyes and looked at his thin wrists. Both old and new scars covered his once smooth skin. These scars weren't from Andrew's abuse though, these were his own.

Josh stood frozen for a few minutes, but then he slowly reached out and grabbed his razor from a shelf in the cabinet. Then he sank down on the toilet-seat. He just sat there a while without moving, but then pressed the blade down on the skin on his right wrist. Pressed it down and watching it slit the skin open. The blood slowly started to trickle and he pulled the blade backwards so it made a long cut on his wrist. He repeated the movement four times on his upper arm, and then did three other cuts on his wrist.

This pain was one he could deal with better than the pain his body was in elsewhere. And when he had the pain in his arm, the pain in his back and lower parts weren't as distinctive anymore. He could deal with the pain he caused himself, he was used to that pain and he chose that pain himself. And it really helped to dull the pain anywhere else.

Josh sighed and dropped his razor on the tiled floor as he watched the blood trickle from his forearm and wrist. Now he would at least last through the school day...

***

Josh was a block from school when he suddenly heard some commotion coming from around the corner. He slowly approached, seeing as it was on the way to school, and peeped around the corner.

He recognized all the guys he saw there; they were on the schools football team. Well, everyone except from one was on the football team. The one who was getting beaten up by them. Josh stared in shock as the black-haired boy he'd had a few encounters with up till now fell to his knees. He had been kicked in the stomach by one of the jocks. He didn't make a single sound, though, just glared angrily up at the bastards who were surrounding him.

Josh wanted to help the boy, even though he had shoved him away yesterday, which was kind of Josh's own fault anyway since he had touched him, but he didn't know what he could do to help him right now. Josh wasn't exactly a fight machine; he was pretty slender and weak and couldn't fight for his bare life.

The biggest of the five jocks suddenly pulled the black-haired boy on his feet again and shoved him hard into the brick wall. "What's wrong, faggot?" The jock snarled. "Aren't you even fighting back today?"

"Fuck you," the black-haired boy ground out through clenched teeth, and he got a fist in his stomach in return. He doubled over and covered his abdomen with his hands. He had a pained expression on his face, and Josh really felt for him. He knew how it was to be a living punching bag. He'd been one most of his life.

"Don't you dare talk to me like that, you fucking queer!" The jock yelled.

"Do you know that the worst homophobes turn out to be gay themselves?" Damian said as he slowly straightened up again. He wiped some blood off of his cracked lip and smiled wryly at the bigger boy in front of him. "You should really think about that. All of you should think about that."

His words caused all five of them to jump on him and start to beat him mercilessly. Josh had to use all the willpower he had to keep himself where he was. If he joined in, he would get beaten up too. He had no chance against bullies.

Josh watched in frustration as the jocks screamed out all kinds of dirty words and hit and kicked the poor boy. No one deserved to be treated like that! Josh itched to do something, but there was nothing to do. He just had to watch until they stopped. Which they did a few minutes later. They gave the black-haired boy a last knock and kick, that caused him to fall to his knees again, clutching his bruised stomach, and then they ran off.

"Are you okay?" Josh asked in a low, shaky voice as he slowly approached the other boy, not really sure of what to do. This boy had shoved him away the day before, and he probably wouldn't be any nicer towards him after getting beaten up like this.

"Go away," Damian muttered and proved Josh's assumptions right.

"You're hurt," Josh said and kneeled down next to the black-haired boy. "I can't just disregard that."

"Sure you can," Damian mumbled, but he didn't say anything when Josh helped him up on his feet. He noticed something else, though. "You don't look so good yourself," he stated. "What's happened to you? Your stepfather's been to rough on you?"

Josh flinched by those cold words and he saw that the other boy's eyes widened as he understood that the question he had asked as a mock actually was the truth. "Don't look so shocked," Josh muttered with his eyes downcast. "I rather like pain, and my body doesn't hurt that much..."

The other boy didn't seem to believe him for a second, seeing as Josh had problems standing straight and walking properly now that he had one of the black-haired boy's arms around his shoulders.

Josh glanced up and caught Damian looking at him. The black-haired boy quickly turned his head away and chewed lightly on his lower lip for a second. He carefully removed his hand from Josh's shoulders, and then mumbled in a low voice, "I'm sorry for the other day. I didn't mean to shove you like that..."

"It's okay," Josh replied softly, but his stomach fluttered with happiness. He had apologized to him! That meant that he couldn't be too disgusted with him, right?

"I just panicked when you grabbed me like that," Damian muttered, now rising his head and looking in front of himself.

"Then I'm sorry for grabbing you," Josh replied, still in a soft voice. He tilted his head to the side and caught the black-haired boy looking at him again. Josh gave him a small smile and stuck his tongue out at him as he'd done the night he had seen him in the park with his stepfather. "Just because I'm wondering," Josh said lightly. "What's your name?"

"Damian," the other boy said. "Damian Fielding."

"Hi Damian," Josh said with a smile and a small wave in his direction. "I'm Josh Slater."

Damian looked at the blonde, and Josh was relieved to see a small upward curve on his lips. It wasn't really a smile, but it was very close to one. And it was enough for Josh to know that this boy didn't completely hate his guts. "So, are we off to school then?" He asked.

Damian's eyes flickered for a moment, he didn't exactly look forward to school, but then he nodded slightly and buried his hands in his pockets as the two started walking towards the white-coloured building that was the town's only high school.

***

Chad hung back in the classroom as first period ended. As yesterday, he waited until the room was empty before he walked up to the teacher's desk. He braced his hands on the edge of the desk and leaned slightly forward. "I've come to a conclusion," he spoke.

Dion Stryker slowly lifted his head from the book he'd been reading in and stared up at the red-head through his glasses. "Really now?" He asked, leaning back on the chair and crossing his arms over his chest. "Let's hear it."

Chad grinned slightly and leaned a bit more forward. "I've looked through my English book, and my notebook, and I've figured out that I don't understand shit."

"That's your conclusion?" Dion asked, lifting one eyebrows quizzically.

"Part of it," Chad said, drawing his lower lip in between his teeth and sucking lightly on it. "The real conclusion is that I need a tutor." He grinned wryly as he stared straight at his teacher. He wasn't quite so intimidating now that he was wearing glasses, (and that he himself was high on some drug), and that was why he had more courage today, then yesterday. "I want you to tutor me."

Dion drew in a sharp intake of breath, but he was careful to keep his face neutral. "Do I look like I have time to tutor every student who needs it?" He asked coldly.

"Not every student, just me," Chad smirked. "And you don't really look all that busy to me. And you want your students to pass, right? So why shouldn't you tutor me?"

Dion stared at the boy. He had made some points, and he had pushed him into a corner. He didn't see a way to get out of this. And Chad was right, he really wasn't all that busy. And if he had been, he probably would've found someway to help this boy. "Fine," he said with a sigh. "Meet me after class on Monday and then we'll make an appointment. Sounds okay?"

"Yep," Chad said, grinning. "Sounds excellent." He ran his tongue over his lips seductively and his grin turned into a smirk as he noticed that his teacher's eyes were looking straight at his lips. "I'll see you Monday then," he said, giving him a last suggestive glance before turning and walking out of there. He couldn't help his behaviour; Dion Stryker was one of the most handsome guy's he'd ever seen and he wanted to be fucked by him.

Inside the classroom, Dion leaned back on his chair and ran his hands over his face, sighing heavily. That boy was seriously dangerous; he could get every single person he laid his eyes on in bed just by stirring his little finger.

The red-head had left a deep impression on him since the first day of this school year, which had been his first day working in this school. He'd been careful to avoid having anything to do with the boy though. First of all, he was a student, and second... he wasn't ready to get involved in anything. Not even a fling or a one-night stand.

And if he against all odds did get involved with someone, it wouldn't be that boy. He was the school's notorious boy-slut.

***

"I got myself a job yesterday," Spencer spoke as he sat down next to Chad under their usual tree. It was lunch break, and so he pulled forth his apple and started nibbling on it.

"Really?" Chad tilted his head to the side and looked at him. "Where?"

"Harriet's Diner," Spencer said, grinning. "It's a small diner downtown. I'm starting today, after school."

"Congratulations, man," Chad smiled, nudging Spencer's shoulder friendly. "I have to go there to eat then, someday. And I expect you to serve me well."

"Don't worry, I will," Spencer laughed and took a bite of his apple.

"You're not the only one with news though," Chad said after they'd been sitting in silence for a while.

"Oh?" Spencer looked over at him. "What's your news?"

"You know I failed that English test, right?" Chad said, seeing Spencer nod. "Our dear teacher said that I would flunk if I didn't pull myself together, so today I asked him if he'd be my tutor because I didn't understand shit."

"And Mr. Stryker agreed to it, just like that?"

"I pulled up some good reasons," Chad grinned. "He couldn't say no to me, I swear. And that man is hot. I'm so gonna get him in the sack. One way or another."

"God, you're such a horny bitch," Spencer said, snickering.

Chad leaned back against the tree, resting his hands behind his neck. "Yeah, I am," he said, sticking his tongue out and smirking wryly. "And it's damn good."

"Oh, come on, you weren't supposed to agree to it!" Spencer exclaimed. "Have you no shame?" He rolled his eyes as Chad just continued smirking at him. "Though it is true."

"That it is," Chad agreed.

"Where's Josh?" Spencer suddenly asked. "He was in class earlier. Why isn't he here now?"

Chad shrugged. "He disappeared right after the bell rang," he said. "He didn't look to good. Either he's had another visit from that damn stepfather of his or he's had a little cutting feast. Or, you know, maybe both."

"So why do you sit there so calmly?" Spencer questioned. "Aren't you worried?"

"He wants to be alone," Chad said, shrugging. "That's why he's not here. We should respect that he doesn't want to be with us right now."

"But what if he's seriously injured? You know just as well as me that Andrew isn't exactly careful with him! And he's definitely not careful with himself when he has that razor in his hand!"

Chad sighed and his eyes twinkled with worry. "Maybe we should go look for him," he muttered. "But if he snaps, I'm blaming you!"

Spencer laughed lightly as he stood up. "You do that."

***

Josh did indeed want to be alone. And after the bell had rung for lunch, he'd quickly disappeared out of his friends' sight so he could get up on the rooftop without them stopping him or coming with him.

Turned out the rooftop wasn't as vacant as he'd expected it to be, and he stopped dead in his tracks as he noticed Damian Fielding sitting there, with his back against the wall. He had a cap on his head and he was staring up the blue, cloudless sky.

He looks beautiful, Josh thought, captivated by the sight of the other boy in front of him. Really, really beautiful... He had noticed how good looking the black-haired boy was before, the first day they'd ‘met' even, but he hadn't thought anymore about that fact. That was, until now. Now this boy's handsomeness almost knocked Josh off his very own feet.

"What are you staring at?" Damian's voice suddenly broke through the silence, and Josh jumped in surprise.

"Umm... Nothing," he breathed, but way too quickly to actually be truthfully.

Which Damian proved when he just snorted and turned his head back to look up at the cloudless blue sky.

"Ehm... Are you feeling better now?" Josh asked in a low voice and stepped closer to the other, sitting boy.

"I guess," Damian answered shortly.

What's with him? Josh wondered. Has he decided to turn into an ass again? "You guess?" Josh sat down beside him and tilted his head to the side to glare at the other teen. "Either you are okay, or you're not."

"Then I am okay," Damian replied dismissively. "Would you go away now? You have your own injuries to take care of, right?" He definitely has decided to turn into an ass again, Josh thought.

"Why are you so rejecting?" He asked, his voice a little louder than usual. "I'm just trying to be a little nice here. Come on, give me some credit!"

"I don't need any niceness, especially not yours," Damian snapped, shooting the blonde a dark glare.

"Why are you so hostile?" Josh asked in a low, hurt voice. The other boy had actually been somewhat nice to him earlier, he had even apologized for shoving him yesterday, but now he was like this, cold and snappish.

Damian just stared at the blonde for a while, making Josh twist uncomfortable, and then he sighed and lowered his eyes to look at the ground they were currently sitting on.

Josh opened his mouth to say something else to the dark-haired boy, just to break the heavy silence between them, but the door leading up and down form the roof opened and interrupted him.

Both Josh and Damian turned their heads to look who the newcomers were, and Josh stood up to greet them. "Hi, what are you two doing here?" He questioned his friends.

"Looking for you, obviously," Chad said, casting a brief glance at the sitting boy. He didn't find him all that interesting though, so he turned his attention back to the blonde again. "You just disappear on us and expect us to actually let you?"

"What must a guy do to get some freaking privacy around here?" Josh asked dryly, rolling his eyes.

"You're not having any privacy," Chad pointed out, waving towards Damian, who was still sitting and seemingly ignoring them. "If you'd been alone, I would've respected that, but you're not. You're just cheating on us."

"Jealous much, are we?" Josh asked, giving the red-head an amused look.

"Well, of course," Chad said, mock pouting. "My best friend runs of to be with some other dude who I don't even fucking know. Who wouldn't get jealous by something like that?" He tilted his head and gave Spencer a playful look. "Right, Spence?"

Spencer just shook his head with a grin, not answering. He never really joked about such things with the two. How could he, when his feelings for Josh overstepped the feelings you have for a friend quite a lot?

"It was nice overhearing your little chat, but I really have to go," Damian said in a cold voice as he stood up pressed himself past Josh and his red-headed friend to get to the door.

"Damian, wait..." Josh started in a futile attempt to make the other teen stop.

"Maybe I'll see you again sometimes, Slater," Damian interrupted the blonde with a wry smirk. "And get those injuries taken care off, you don't look like you're enjoying them." And with that he was out the door and heading down the stairs.

Josh stared after his back until he disappeared, and then he just stared at the empty doorway for a few moments. He soon noticed both Chad and Spencer glancing from him to the doorway and back to him again in the corner of his right eye.

"Josh...? Who was that guy?" Chad asked in a low, yet intensive voice.

"Ehm... He was no one," Josh mumbled, not really wanting to tell his friends about his few meeting with Damian Fielding and that he found the black-haired teen extremely handsome and fascinating. "He was up here when I came, is all."

"Yeah, right," Chad said, rolling his eyes. He obviously didn't believe him. Why would Josh know the guy's name, telling him to wait, and look after him with such a weird look if he was just ‘someone he met on the rooftop'? He didn't push it though, he knew Josh would tell him what the hell was going on when he was ready. Or next time they got drunk, whichever.

***

As soon as Spencer entered the diner, he was met by a smiling Harriet. "You ready to start working, sweetie?" She chirped. "We're all here today, but that's okay, because it's usually pretty busy in an hour or so. People come home from work and stuff. So you'll have a little while to prepare yourself." She snickered and motioned for him to follow her up to the counter. "I've decided that you should work with Lesley today, because Damian doesn't really like people. Sounds good, yeah?"

Spencer just nodded, awed over this woman's energy. And she'd said yesterday that she was often sick? She didn't look like it now.

"Ah, here my two other boys comes," Harriet grinned, looking over at the door, that opened in the exact moment the words had left her mouth.

Spencer turned to look at his co-workers, and the first one he saw was the boy from yesterday. His piercing, blue eyes widened slightly as they met Spencer's, and he quickly looked away.

Spencer pursed his lips slightly, again wondering what was with this boy. But then another boy entered behind the silver-haired blonde, and he felt his stomach twist painfully. It was the black-haired boy that had been on the rooftop with Josh in the lunch-break.

The two boys walked into the backroom, and Spencer turned his head to look after the black-haired teen's back.

Harriet noticed who his eyes were fixed at, and her brows furrowed. This situation could become uncomfortable if it turned out the new boy had a crush on Damian, while Lesley had a crush on him. "Would you rather work with Damian?" She asked.

Spencer's head snapped around to look at her. "What?! No!" He exclaimed.

Harriet blinked, confused. "Then why were you looking so intently on him?"

Spencer stared at her, then turned his head down and blushed. "It's not what you think," he muttered. "It's just... He was with one of my best friend's today, and I didn't even know that Josh had other friends than me and Chad."

"Damian was with someone?" Harriet questioned. "I didn't know even know he was capable of communicating with people." She grinned wryly. "He's very anti-social and withdrawn."

"Really?" Spencer threw a glance at the door leading into the backroom. "Then maybe Josh wasn't lying," he whispered to himself. "Maybe he was someone he just met up there..."

Harriet heard the golden-haired boy's whisper, but she chose not to say anything about it. She was relieved though, that Spencer wasn't crushing on Damian. If he had the atmosphere in here would become really tense, especially if Lesley found out, seeing as he had a crush on this boy in front of her.

"Well, okay," she said, breaking the silence. "How about you go back and get ready, and then I'll tell Lesley to show you how things are done here?"

Spencer just nodded and trudged off towards the backroom. He'd been so excited to start his job, and then it turned out that he had to work with a boy that was constantly looking at him with such piercing eyes, and an anti-social and withdrawn boy who apparently had left quite an impression on Josh. This was just bloody wonderful.