Scarred Souls - 4. Chapter 4

IV: Chance Meetings

It was late when Josh made his way home later that night. He was tired, still a bit drunk from the escapades he'd had with Chad earlier, and his whole body was still aching from his stepfather's rough treatment. The ache in his body hadn't stopped him from going to the bar though, but he hadn't been up for having sex with anyone. He'd just given a few guys a blowjob. He didn't make as much money as usual that way, but at least it was some.

Josh walked slowly through the park, his steps were reluctant and he constantly brushed his hand lightly over his neck. It was still sore after his stepfather's strangling-attempt. Nasty bruises were coloring his skin, and he actually had tied a scarf around it in school today. That scarf was not there now; he'd lost it in the brothel. Some guy he'd given a blowjob had ripped it off of him when he'd been on his drunkest, and therefore he hadn't even thought about finding it afterwards.

Thankfully, the intoxication was now in the process of leaving his system completely, and this walk home had helped clear his head a lot. It had a few drawbacks though, such as the pain was back, and all his depressing thoughts were on place again.

Josh lifted his head slightly and looked around at the shadowy and dark park instead of concentrating on the gravel underneath his feet. Because that really was a drowsy sight, as well as a frustrating one. But then again, it was better than thinking about his apartment, where all those bad things had happened thanks to his perverted bastard of a stepfather.

Josh's eyes searched the park without really searching for anything special, and it was then he noticed him. He was lying on a bench, arms bent down under his head and staring up at the starry sky.

Josh had never expected seeing him here so late at night, and he hesitantly started to walk towards him. The other teen was unpredictable; Josh didn't know how he was going to treat him this time. He still had to try talking to him, though, he just couldn't help it.

"What are you doing here, Damian?" He asked in a low voice and stopped in front of the bench the other youth was sprawled over. Josh looked down at the black-haired boy, who had startled in surprise when Josh's voice had broken the silence.

Damian's dark-blue eyes locked with Josh's own bright green ones. He sat up on the bench, but didn't answer the blonde's question. He just crossed his feet, resting his hands in his lap, and glared at Josh with cold eyes.

"Aren't you going to go home?" Josh asked, still in a low voice, but now it had a small amount of worry in it too. Which the other boy noticed, because he quickly turned his head away and stared out at the darkness around them.

"No." His voice was cold and short.

Josh pursed his lips in annoyance. The other teen was acting like an ass again, like he'd been earlier in school. Josh wasn't so willing on giving up on him though, so he dropped down on the bench and tilted his head back to look up at the sky. It was starry and he could even recognize some of the constellations up there.

He decided that if Damian was going to be a bastard, Josh wasn't going to push him further. Maybe the black-haired teen wouldn't even want to get to know him then. Not that Josh was sure he even wanted to now, but Damian had been nice to him that very same morning, so Josh figured that he had at least a small chance. "You will catch a cold if you stay here any longer, so you really should go somewhere. A friend's house or something, maybe?" Josh glanced wryly at the black-haired boy next to him, biting his lower lip gently.

"I don't have any friends," Damian said in a cold tone, not giving away his feelings at all.

"No one?" Josh's curious and slightly worried look now turned into genuine surprise. "Not even one of your classmates?"

Damian shook his head. His face was expressionless, but the blonde could see that he was clenching his teeth. Josh chewed lightly on his lip as he studied him. This boy was so cold, so hostile, so intent on pushing Josh away, but he would freeze to death if he stayed here. And Josh couldn't let that happen. He liked him, goddammit, no matter how he acted towards him. And he knew he had decided not to push Damian further, but he couldn't leave this alone for his bare life.

"You can stay with me if you want," he offered in a low voice. "I live in an apartment not far from here." Josh lowered his head, didn't want see what expression came over the other boy's face after what he'd just offered. I don't think he likes me at all... But I have to try, right? He thought to himself, twisting his fingers in his lap. At least he offered him a place to stay. If he wanted to take the offer was his own choice.

Damian turned his head slightly and glared at the blonde, who glanced back a bit nervously. He noticed some bruising on the blonde's neck, and he nodded towards it, asking, "What's that?"

Josh touched his neck lightly, turning his head away in discomfort. Damn that man who took his bloody scarf! "It's nothing," he snapped.

"Don't seem like nothing to me," Damian spoke.

"Look, you don't know anything about me," Josh said in an angry tone. "So stop judging me." His cheeks were flaming with embarrassment.

"Whatever," Damian said in a cold tone, shrugging lightly as he turned back to watching the stars. "Though, I don't get why you'd want to be hurt like that. You get off on pain or something?" He glanced wryly over at the blonde.

"It's not like I have a fucking choice!" Josh snarled in anger, but his eyes were locked on the gravel under his feet, and they slowly filled with bitter tears. He quickly wiped them away with his shirt sleeve and stood up. Then he threw Damian a quick glare. "I'm going home. You coming with me or not?"

***

Chad took the money the guy handed him and tucked them down in his pants pocket. Then the guy walked away from him, pleased and sexually sated, and Chad looked around the dark street outside the bar.

Josh had been there before he'd gone off with that man, but when they'd come back, his blond-haired friend hadn't been anywhere in sight. Chad figured he'd probably gone home, seeing as he'd been too sore to be able to have sex and there weren't a lot of men that only wanted a blowjob.

Chad sat down on the curb and pulled forth his cell phone. He quickly keyed in his father's number and then placed the phone against his ear. It rang at least seven times before a groggy voice barked;"What the hell do you want, kid?"

"Good night to you too," Chad grumbled. "I was just wondering if you're fucking decent so I can come home."

"What the fuck do you mean with that you ungrateful piece of shit!" His father yelled. Then there was some commotion, and Chad understood that his father had visitors. If it was one or many, he couldn't tell. "Why don't you do us both a fucking favour and stay the hell away, eh? I don't want to see your ugly face here tonight, you get that, you son of a bitch?!"

"You don't wanna see my ugly face?" Chad counterattacked, really pissed off by now. "Have you fucking looked at yourself in a mirror?! It's your fucking features I've inherited, you fucker!" He stopped to take a deep breath, trying to calm down a bit without really succeeding. "And don't you fucking dare call mom a bitch! She was worth hundred times more than your sorry ass! I don't even get why she fucking married a bastard like you! Though I can understand why she fucking killed herself!"

With that he hung up. He bent down and leaned his forehead against his knees, wiping away a few treacherous tears from his cheeks. "Shit, now I can't even go home," he muttered, shoving the thoughts about his mother away. He always started crying as he thought about her or just mentioned her aloud.

He took a deep breath and straightened up again, punching in a new number on his cell. It rang nine times before it came a peep and the answering machine took it. "Where the hell are you, Josh?" Chad exclaimed, frustrated that his friend wasn't answering his freaking phone. "Dad just told me I wasn't welcome home, and now that you're not answering I don't have a fucking place to crash for the night." He laughed bitterly and twined his fingers in his auburn hair. "Maybe I should just go to one of the nightclubs or back into the brothel and get laid again. Doesn't look like I have much of a choice either way. And you just left without saying shit to me. You better be okay or else I'm gonna kick your sorry ass. Anyway, I'll talk to you tomorrow or something." He hung up and stuffed his phone down in his pocket again.

He leaned back and looked up at the starry sky with a heavy sigh. He wondered where Josh was at. Maybe he wasn't home yet. Or maybe Andrew had been there, waiting for him, and that was why he hadn't answered the phone.

"Chad."

Chad whipped around as he heard the low, expressionless voice say his name. His eyes widened as he looked up and met the cold, dark brown eyes of his English teacher. "H-how long have you been standing there?" He stuttered out, not nearly as confident as he'd been earlier that day. The man was not wearing glasses now, and he looked more intimidating than ever as he towered over Chad, who was still sitting on the curb. And the fact that Chad was neither high nor drunk anymore didn't exactly help.

"Long enough," Dion said shortly. "I've learned quite a few new things about you these past few minutes. No wonder you don't have time for school."

Chad couldn't tell if the man was being condescending, understanding, sardonic or pitying him. He couldn't tell anything from that expressionless voice and those icy eyes. Which was very frustrating. He was used to having control; with this man he had none.

"What are you doing here?" He asked in a low voice, turning his head away from the man and looking up at the starry sky again.

"I was just out walking," Dion said. "I happen to have to pass this place to get home, and I saw you coming out from the bar and take money from some guy. When I came closer, I overheard both your phone calls."

"Oh," Chad breathed, turning his head down.

Dion bit his lower lip lightly as he looked down at the sitting boy. After overhearing his phone call with his father, he understood that this boy's life couldn't be all that easy. And the fact that he was selling himself also told him more than enough. "If you want, you can come sleep over at my place tonight," Dion offered.

Chad's head snapped up and he stared up at the man. "What? Really? Are you serious?"

Dion nodded solemnly. "Yeah," he said stiffly, stretching his hand out towards the boy. "Come on, let's get going."

Chad took the hand offered to him, and his teacher helped him up on his feet. "Can you really do this?" He asked as they started walking down the street. "Take a student home, I mean?"

Dion shrugged. "You don't have anywhere to go," he said. "What kind of man would I be if I just left a kid like you here to fend for yourself?"

"I'm not a kid," Chad protested, but he had a gentle smile on his lips as he looked over at his teacher. "You're a good guy," he admitted. "Not many people would've offered what you just did."

Dion glanced at him, but quickly reverted his eyes again. I'm not nearly as good a guy as you think I am, he thought bitterly. Not at all.

***

"You live alone?"

Damian stood by the entrance-door, looking around the blonde's apartment with mild interest. Josh apartment wasn't that big, but it was enough for one person with a small hallway, a living room with a sofa, table, television, a bureau and many bookcases, a small kitchen with a fridge, oven, dishwasher and a long counter with cupboards, a bedroom where he had a king sized bed, a desk and more bookcases and a bathroom with both a shower and a bathtub, and a counter with a small mirror.

"Yeah," Josh replied, moving into the living room. "I have lived here for almost three years by now."

"Why aren't you living with your parents?" Damian asked, leaning against the door frame. He crossed his arms over his chest and looked at the blonde with cold, ice-blue eyes.

They were really disturbing Josh, those eyes, but not in quite a bad way... Josh suddenly ripped his eyes away from Damian's and muttered in a chilly tone, "Because my mother hates me."

"Why?"

"She just does." Josh didn't really want to tell the other the truth about this. The relationship between himself and his mother was a touchy subject for him. The fact that she hated him because he was the offspring of a one-night-stand... It wasn't even Josh's fault, for christsakes. Sure, she could hate the guy who left her pregnant, but Josh never asked to be even be born. Why couldn't she just have taken a fucking abortion if she was going to despise her child as much as she does? He wondered bitterly.

Josh sighed heavily. He thought a lot about that. Even though he just wanted to shut everything out, it always came back to him. "She doesn't want to see me or talk to me, so she pays all of my bills so I can stay away from her," he murmured. "Or, actually, it's really my stepfather who pays for her so I can stay away from her."

Josh braces his arms on the kitchen counter as he heard Damian walk up to him from behind. As he glanced over his shoulder and met the black-haired boy's look, he saw that the expression in his eyes had turned a little friendlier. "What about you?" Josh asked hesitantly, not sure how Damian would react to personal questions. Then again, he had asked Josh personal questions so he was entitled to ask back. "What were you doing, lying in the park like that?"

"Just thinking," Damian replied in a low, almost irritated tone. He shrugged to indicate that he didn't want to talk about it.

Josh took the hint in Damian's cold voice and didn't ask any more personal questions. If this was something he didn't want to talk to him about, Josh wouldn't ask him bothersome questions and risk him getting angry. He preferred having Damian like him. "You hungry?" Josh asked instead and started to go through his cupboards. "I think I may have some food in here..."

"It looks kinda empty up there to me," Damian pointed out with his eyebrows raised. He shook his head lightly and opened the fridge. "How about fried eggs?"

Josh turned around and glared suspiciously at the egg box. "Ehm... That's okay. I guess," he agreed slowly. He bent down and pulled out his frying pan from a drawer, and then sat it on the oven.

Damian handed the blonde the eggs when the frying pan was warm, and Josh frowned lightly as he broke them on the edge of the pan and poured them down in it.

Damian cocked his head to the side as the eggs got slightly unrecognizable. "This is a catastrophe," he said after a while. "Have you ever made fried eggs before?"

"No," Josh snapped in irritation.

"Get away," Damian pushed the blonde away from the oven. He threw the contents of the frying pan in the garbage, washed the pan and then started to fry new eggs.

Josh peeked over his shoulder. "Wow, that looks delicious!" He exclaimed in surprise. He was not surprised by the facts that it actually looked like eggs now, but because he actually looked forward to eating that. He didn't usually eat a lot. "You can cook?"

"I work at a diner," Damian replied, his lips twitching up into a small smile. "And why do you sound so surprised? I'm seriously considering getting offended by that."

Josh tilted his head to look at the other boy. He had gotten a lot nicer as he'd gotten in charge of making the food. He had even sounded... friendly, almost joking, teasing. "I just didn't see you as the type," he answered lightly. "I think I have bacon in the freezer. You want that too?"

"Would've been nice," Damian replied and turned the eggs around.

Josh hurried over to the freezer and pulled out said bacon. He didn't quite know why he had that in there, but he figured it had to be either Chad's or Spencer's. Those two loved making bacon for breakfast.

He laid it on the counter next to Damian and then peeked around the other teen's shoulder at the eggs again. Damian looked like he knew what he was doing, and he probably did seeing as he worked in a diner, and he was a lot more relaxed now than Josh had ever seen him.

"You've been living alone for quite a while," Damian started and glanced quickly over his shoulder at the blonde. "And you can't even fry eggs. How are you even surviving?" His eyes darted down the other boy's body. "Or maybe you're starving yourself. You're pretty skinny."

"Oh, you're really one to talk," Josh replied, viewing Damian's own body. "You're just as skinny as I am! You just look bigger, because you're a few inches taller than me and wider over the chest and shoulders." He wrinkled his eyebrows slightly. "And I've survived on noodles, if you so badly want to know. You really should see me make noodles. I'm the best at making noodles."

Damian just snorted at that.

"Don't you believe me?" Josh exclaimed in mock offence and hit the other boy's shoulder playfully. "I'm really good at it, you know!"

"Okay, okay," Damian said with a small laugh. "I believe you."

Josh froze and blinked surprised at the black-haired boy. "Did you just laugh?" He asked in awe.

Damian turned his head and rested his dark eyes on the blonde. "Yes, I did," he said lightly. "Didn't you think I could laugh, either?"

"You didn't hit me like a risible guy," Josh grinned wryly. "I guess I was wrong about you again."

"Indeed you were," Damian said as his eyes fell on the bread-bin. "Cut up some slices of bread; the eggs are finished any minutes now."

Josh quickly did as the other teen had commanded. "You want any butter on yours?"

Damian just nodded as an answer and Josh started to smear butter on the four slices of bread he'd cut up. When he was done doing that he put two of the slices on one plate, the two remaining on another.

Damian first lay the bacon on the slices of bread, sharing it equally, and then lay the fried eggs over.

"Ketchup?" Josh asked and pulled out the red bottle from the fridge.

"Sure thing." Damian turned off the plate on the oven, and then carried the frying pan to the sink where he washed it in hot water.

In the meantime, Josh had almost drowned the eggs in ketchup.

"You like ketchup, or what?" Damian commented, peeking over his shoulder down at the eggs.

"Of course," Josh answered with a smile. "You don't like it?" He cocked his head to the side so he could look back at Damian. He felt his heart jump up in his throat and then quickly falling back down to his chest again when he stared straight into Damian's dark eyes. He was closer to him than Josh had expected.

"It doesn't bother me," Damian said in a low voice, staring straight into Josh's own haunted, green eyes. "I like ketchup."

"That's good," Josh laughed nervously and sat the red bottle down on the counter. He pulled out two pairs of cutlery from the drawer, laid them on the plates and then turned around and handed one to Damian.

"Thank you," Damian said and took the plate from Josh's hand, their fingers brushing lightly.

"Want to watch some TV?" Josh asked and glanced up at the slightly taller teen shyly.

He didn't wait for Damian's answer though, just walked back out into the living room and dropped down on the sofa, turning on the television. Damian soon dropped down next to him and Josh noticed that the dark-haired boy glance his way, but quickly turned his attention to the television when Josh looked over at him.

"Is it really okay for you that I'm staying here for the night?" Damian asked after a while, the heavy silence going on his nerves.

"Of course," Josh said, tilting his head to look at him. "I invited you, remember? So why shouldn't it be okay?"

"I don't know," Damian said with a light shrug, poking his food. He wondered how he was going to get rid of it again without Josh hearing him throwing it up and asking questions. "I was just wondering about your stepfather," he said hesitantly. "Does he ever come over late or stays over or whatever?"

Josh stiffened as soon as Damian mentioned Andrew. "No, he never comes over this late, and he never stays over," he muttered. "He has to be home at night, or my mother would get suspicious. But both Chad and Spencer come over often after nightfall sometimes and spend the night."

"Do they know about your stepfather?" Damian questioned.

Josh nodded. "Yes, they do." He ran a hand through his blonde locks and sighed. "They figured it out a long time ago." He looked up and gave Damian a small, bitter smile. "You want to go to bed? I'm kind of tired," he said, wanting to get off the whole Andrew-subject.

Damian nodded solemnly. "Yeah, sure."

The two boys stood up from the sofa, and they carried their now empty plates into the kitchen where Josh said just to dump them in the sink, he'd wash them later. Then the blonde led the way into his bedroom.

"I don't have any other mattress, so unless you want to sleep on the floor, you have to lie in the bed with me," Josh said and slowly started to unbutton his shirt. "It's a big bed, so it shouldn't really be a problem."

"It's okay," Damian said in a low voice, not able to rip his eyes away from Josh's exposed chest. There were both old and new scars in all kinds of shapes, burn marks and marks he couldn't quite define, and there practically wasn't a single place that wasn't covered in nasty-coloured bruises.

"You want to borrow some clothes to sleep in?" Josh asked and quickly got his shirt off, pulling a long-sleeved shirt over his head before the other boy had any chance of seeing the scars and new cuts on his wrist. He would never believe that those came from Andrew's abuse, and then he'd just ask questions Josh didn't want to answer.

Damian nodded silently as an answer to Josh's question and the blonde quickly dug through his closet and found some night clothes for him; a long-sleeved shirt and sweatpants.

"I have the rest of my clothes in the bathroom, so I'm just gonna go in there and change," Josh mumbled and rushed out of his bedroom.

He took his time in the bathroom; not wanting to come in when Damian was changing. Though he had to admit that the thought of the other boy with very little clothes on was very tempting. He brushed his teeth and then stepped out of his jeans and pulled on the sweatpants. Both his shirt and pants were loose-fitting; hiding his skinny figure, his nasty bruises and his self-inflicted cuts and slashes.

When the blonde stepped back into his bedroom almost ten minutes later, Damian was finished changing into Josh's clothes, and he was sitting silently on the edge of the bed.

"Ready for bed?" Josh smiled faintly.

Damian nodded and climbed up in the double bed; crawling under the covers on one side of it. He glanced at Josh for a second, but then turned around so he lay with his back towards the blonde.

Josh sighed silently, feeling a bit hurt, and lay down on the other side. He also turned so he was lying with his back towards Damian's back. "Good night," he whispered as he reached out and turned off the lamp on his bedside table.

"G'night," Damian mumbled a little while later, when Josh had almost believed he wouldn't wish him good night back at all.

Josh smiled slightly and pulled the covers over him, snuggling into them and his pillow. Having Damian almost right next to him, he could feel the warmth from the other teen's body against his back, and it made him feel good, safe.

It was a very pleasant feeling.

***

Chad looked around at what he could see of Dion's apartment with interest. The hallway was small, there was just enough space for the two of them to stand and take off their shoes, and for Dion to hang up his jacket.

The living room was quite big. There was a black leather coach in two parts, a three-seater and a two-seater, with a dark table in front of it, and a huge flat-screen TV. Next to the television there were two doors, one leading into the bedroom, the other to the bathroom. On the last wall there was a book case, filled with books, videos and pictures. Next to that there was a door leading into a small kitchen.

Chad went over to the book shelves and glanced at the titles of the books and movies. Then he turned his attention over to the pictures. Some of them were of Dion alone, but most of them were of some unknown guy, and sometimes Dion himself were in the pictures with this guy. "Who is that person?" Chad asked his teacher. "A relative?"

"No," Dion answered shortly.

"Ooh, a lover then?" Chad glanced over his shoulder with a playful look.

Dion just glared at him without answering. He didn't want to talk about that person on those pictures. Not to this kid, not to anyone.

"You two broke up or something, since you're so grumpy about it?" Chad asked, walking away from the book case and glancing into the kitchen. It was a nice kitchen, with only the most needed equipment.

The kitchen wasn't all that interesting, so Chad continued his prying by going over to the half-open bedroom door and giving it a push. The room wasn't all that big, much smaller than Josh's bedroom, and it had a king-sized bed covered in black sheets, a night stand on each side of the bed, and then a small desk covered in books and papers in one corner.

Dion was leaning against the hallway door frame, watching the red-head as he walked around his apartment, taking everything in. It was quite amusing watching him go from one room to another, glancing in to see what was there.

"You hungry or anything?" He asked as Chad withdrew from looking in at his bathroom.

"No, not really."

"Shall we just go to bed then?"

"Sure," Chad smirked, walking back to the bedroom. "Are we both going to be sleeping in that bed?"

"Yeah," Dion said, following the boy. "The sofa is rock hard, it'll ruin our backs if one of us sleep there."

"Okay," Chad said carelessly, then he quickly pulled his shirt over his head and dropped it on the floor.

Dion froze in the doorway as the red-head quickly shed his t-shirt as well. The boy's chest was slim and flat, with a hint of muscles in all the right places. He had a leather band around his neck, and the yin-yang ornament was resting against his collarbone. He also had a bar through his left nipple and a ring through his navel.

Chad took notice of how the teacher's eyes roamed over his chest and he smirked. "See anything you like?" He asked seductively, bringing his hands down to unbutton his pants and pull down the zipper.

Dion turned abruptly and barged into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. Damn that boy, he thought as he leaned against the counter and stared at himself in the mirror. He has way too much confidence! Didn't he have any shame or shyness in him at all?!

He stood like that for a while, clenching his teeth and cursing the boy's frivolousness and his own reaction to the kid's frivolity. When he felt that he had control over himself again he brushed his teeth, stripped out of his clothes, pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt and then walked back into his bedroom.

Chad was lying in the bed, staring up at the ceiling, it appeared, but he turned his bright green eyes on the teacher as he entered. Dion switched off the light and then went over to the bed, moving expertly around in the dark, and dropping down under the covers on the other side.

Chad twisted a bit and looked over at the other side of the bed, even though he couldn't see anything. "You must want something in return for this," he spoke.

Dion turned from where he'd been lying with his back to the boy. "What are you talking about?"

"People never do anything without wanting something back for it," Chad said, propping up on his elbow. "That's just human. And the only thing I can give you in return is my body. I don't have much else."

"I don't want something back from you," Dion muttered. "Seriously."

"But you must want something!" Chad exclaimed. "Everyone wants!"

"Not everyone."

"That guy on the pictures was you lover right?"

Dion grimaced. Why did he change the subject like that? "What does that have to do with anything?"

"He's a guy. And if he was your lover, that makes you gay. So why don't you react to me? Why don't you want to do me? I'm a really good fuck!"

The nerve of this kid, Dion thought, clenching his teeth. "Believe it or not, but not every gay guy is into promiscuous sex."

"So you are gay," Chad stated. His lips twitched up into a smirk. "Are you still in a relationship with that guy, seeing as you're refusing to sleep with me?"

"I told you, I'm not into promiscuous sex," Dion snapped.

"You're damn stubborn," Chad said, rolling his eyes. "Just remember what you're saying no too. I really am the best fuck ever." He dropped down in the bed and turned over on his side. "Good night."

Dion stared up into the darkness. He rubbed his palms over his face and sighed silently. That boy really was unbelievable, and he didn't mean that in a positive way. To have such a bad relationship with his father, and selling himself to horny men, he really was quite confident and sure of himself. And to be honest, he had a good reason too. He was a walking wet dream, that was for sure, and Dion didn't doubt his skills as a sex-partner at all.

Well, at least I managed to resist him for now, he thought. But if he keeps this up, I won't be able to resist it for long. It had been a year since he'd been with anyone, after all. And if it was up to his brain, he wasn't going to be with anyone in a while either.

***

The clock was ticking on the bedside table. It was nearly 4 in the morning as Josh felt the bed shift next to him. He quickly closed his eyes and pretended to be asleep as Damian got up from the bed and walked silently into the bathroom.

As he was safe out of the bedroom, Josh re-opened his eyes and stared dreamily at the now closed bathroom door. But as the sounds of vomiting reached his ears, he felt as if someone had thrown a can of ice-cold water over him. Is Damian sick? He wondered worriedly and clutched his right hand around his scarred left arm. Isn't he feeling well?

Josh wanted to get up from the comfortable position he was curled up in and go check on Damian, see if he was very ill, but as he was discussing quickly back and forth with himself, he heard the toilet flush and then water starting to run.

Judging from how quiet the other boy tried to be, Josh figured that Damian didn't want to wake him up. So, when the bathroom door quietly opened, he buried his face in his pillow and evened out his breathing, pretending to be asleep yet again.

Damian slowly walked over the floor, and then sunk down into bed, with as careful movements as possible. He pulled the covers over him and turned over on his side.

Josh was still lying on his own side, with his back towards Damian's back, and he stared blankly at the clock. It ticked, and the pointers moved around slowly.

When it showed that it had been an hour since Damian had been up, and Josh could hear the other teen's low but steady breathing behind him, he propped up on his elbow and rummage lightly through his bedside table drawer.

There he pulled out his razor and slowly sat up in the bed; very careful not to make any sudden movements. He glanced over at Damian once, saw that the other boy was still lying with his back towards him, and then he brought the razor to his wrist and made three parallel slashes.

Josh closed his eyes as the blood started to trickle and the pain set in with a jolt. It was relieving to feel the psychical pain his knife caused; it made him forget about the mental pain, the pain from the abuse, and his crappy life for a little while.

After enjoying the pain for a little longer, he laid the razor back in the drawer and closed it silently yet firmly. Then he lay back down in bed and pulled the quilt all the way up over his shoulders. He felt the blood trickle down his forearm and staining the sheets, but right then he didn't care. It just felt... good.

But as he had been busy cutting, he hadn't noticed that Damian had turned around. The black-haired boy was now looking at his back in the darkness, his eyes narrowed and dark of confusion and worry.