Lem - Prologue. Prologue

Prologue

Mattie and me're layin' on our sleeping bags on the back porch, watchin' the sky. He's resting his head on my chest, lookin' like he's fixin' to fall asleep on me. I feel like I'm 'bout ready to doze off, myself.

He sighs, rolls over so he's lookin' up at my face. "Lem?"

"Yeah?"

"We'll still be friends after school starts, right?"

I blink at him. "Mattie, it's only seventh grade."

"But it's in a different town. We don't get to ride the same bus anymore."

"Havre's only down the highway. It's not like I'm moving to China or somethin'."

"Oh..." He starts playin' with the fabric on my shirt. "I don't want you to go to middle school."

"Don't reckon' I have a whole lotta' choice in the issue."

He sniffles, starts cryin'. I can feel his tears gettin' my shirt wet.

"Mattie... why'd you hafta' go and start cryin'? Nothin's gonna change."

He hugs my sides and pushes his face into my stomach. At least he's not wailing.

Momma walks by the sliding glass door. She stops and squints, opens the door. "What's wrong?"

"He's sad." I look down at the top of his head.

Momma walks over and starts rubbin' his back between his shoulders. "You okay, honey?"

Best he can, he tries to nod up and down without liftin' his face up.

Momma looks at me. "What happened?"

"He said he doesn't want me to go to middle school."

She kinda laughs as she talks, like she thinks it's cute. "Ohhh, honey. It's only for a year, then you'll be in seventh grade and you'll both be in the same school again."

He turns his head out to the side. His eyes are all puffy and red. Just sniffs.

"Give me five minutes. I've got some cookies in the oven." Momma smiles at him, squeezes his shoulder. "Okay?"

Mattie nods slowly.

"Lem, why don't you get the telescope put away and get the sleeping bags in the basement? It's almost bed time."

"Yes, ma'am."

She gets up and walks back into the house, closes the door behind her.

I prop myself up on my elbows so I can get up, but Mattie just squeezes me tighter. "Don't go."

"I ain't goin' anywhere." I rub his back. "You'll always be my best friend."

He sighs. "I like your voice."

"Huh? What's so special about it?"

"Seems warmer." He's got the sides of my shirt all balled up in his fists. "I'ono. Just think it's nice. Easy to listen to."

"My voice ain't changed none."

"I think it has. A little."

We sit there for a little while. My arm's startin' to fall asleep. "We should head inside."

"Okay." He gets up and starts rolling up the sleeping bags.

I take the telescope off the tripod and put it back in its case. Latch it shut. Mattie takes a sleeping bag under each arm and opens the door for me.

I set the telescope just inside the door so we can have some cookies first. Momma's already got them fixed up on a plate in the middle of the table, and if we don't get to 'em now, Jason's gonna eat the whole damn batch.

Momma saw where I put it when I came in, but she didn't jump my ass about it. Probably figures the same thing. She sets a glass of milk down in front of each of us, then calls for Chase.

I grab a cookie off the plate. "Where's Jason?" I take a bite. Missus Jensen's recipe.

"Dad made him pick up his mess in the barn. He didn't put his tack away when he rode today." She looks at Mattie. "How are they?"

Mattie turns red and grins. "Good, thank you."

"You bet!" She walks back around the island to start another batch to cookin'.

Jason walks in through the mud room.

Momma looks up. "Wash your hands before you touch those."

He's already trying to get around the back of the table at the plate.

I hold the dish up off to the side, try to keep it away from him. "Momma said to wash your hands, you horses ass."

"Lem! Watch your mouth!"

Jason smacks me upside the back of my head.

Mattie catches the plate before it hits the table, but Jason gets all but one of the cookies off the plate before Mattie can even react. Jason starts around the back of the table again, then stubs his toes on the telescope case.

"Shit!" He stumbles forward and drops the cookies. "Lem, pick up your crap!"

Momma throws a ball of cookie dough at him. "Don't you start in on your brother."

"Hey!" He picks up one of the cookies from the ground and sticks it in his mouth. Gathers the other ones and gets to his feet.

Mattie stares, slack-jawed. "That's gross."

Jason turns and looks at him, then blinks. "Lem, your boyfriend been cryin'?"

"Get bent, Jason!"

Momma almost roars. "HEY!"

Jason smirks. "You don't even know what that means."

Momma takes to pokin' him in the chest with her finger. "Quit patronizing your brother. Get on upstairs and get ready for bed before your dad comes in here and has a shit fit."

He hangs his head, "yes, ma'am." He turns and starts to walk out. Decides to give the back of my head another duster before he goes.

"Jason! Git!" She turns and points at me with a rubber spatula, "and one more word out of you and you're grounded for a week."

"What did I do?"

"I can make it two."

I sigh. Chew on a little cookie pulp that's left in my mouth. "Yes, ma'am."

Chase walks in and sits down at the other end of the table. She looks over at momma. "What's get bent mean?"

* * *

Mattie's got his sleeping bag right up against mine. I'm laying on my back, lookin' at the ceiling. He's laying facing me, kind of a fetal position.

"Lem?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm…" He trails off.

"You're what?" I look over at him.

"I'm scared."

I hate it when he gets like this. "Why?"

"I don't wanna be alone."

"Who says you're gonna be alone?"

"Just feels like you're gonna leave me alone. I don't want you to go."

I sit up. "Mattie, I'm not goin' anywhere. It's just… we're gonna hafta plan our time out better. Hang out on the weekends n' shit."

He sighs.

"It's gonna happen again. When I start high school."

"But it'll be in the same town. And we'll take the same bus."

He's wearin' a little thin on my nerves with it. "Mattie…" I sigh.

We sit in silence for a while. I don't know if my tone hurt him or not, but he know better than to keep on pushin' it. He's scared.

"Lem, can we be blood brothers?"

I look over. "I don't see why not."

"Can we do it now?"

"It's the middle of the night."

"Please?"

"Now?"

"Lem…"

I sigh. "Will it make you feel better?"

He nods.

I get out of my sleeping bag and walk over to a pile of clothes. I search a pair of pants, try to find my pocket knife, but it isn't there. Takes me a bit, but I finally figure out they're Mattie's. I root around on the floor a bit until I feel denim. When I pick them up, I've got them by one of the legs. Everything falls out of the pockets. "Crap."

I get down on my hands and knees and feel around. Something cold and metal brushes up against the side of my hand. The weights just about right, so I take it back over to where Mattie is.

I can just see his dark outline against the dim light of the television set. I sit down in front of him.

He leans forward a little.

I pull the blade out. "Let me see your hand."

He hesitates. "Will it hurt?"

"Won't be too bad. Just a little cut. You wanna do it yourself?"

"No, you do it for me." He puts his hand in mind.

I turn it so it's palm up, hold his pointer finger in my hand. I ready the blade so the tip's over the tip. "Just breathe slowly. It's pretty sharp, so it won't be too bad."

He holds his breath.

I rest tip to tip. Put the littlest bit of pressure on it. Make a small cut about as wide as a penny is thick.

He hisses and pulls his finger away from me. "That hurt!"

"It's a knife, Mattie. Think it was gonna tickle?"

He moans. "Guess not." He pinches his fingertip between the fingers on his other hand.

I put the knife into the same finger on my left hand. Feel the sting, the burn. I fold the blade and set the knife off to the side. "Okay, give me your finger."

He holds his hand out at me. Kinda points it like E.T. I take his finger and put it against mine, so the cuts are touching. Squeeze the fingers together and hold them like that for a few minutes. "There. We're blood brothers."

"Not yet." He touches his finger to my forehead. I feel the warm blood on my skin. I don't know if it's what I'm supposed to do, but I touch his forehead the same way. Smear the blood by accident. He takes my hand. Sticks my finger in my mouth and starts sucking the blood off it.

"What're you doing?"

He takes my finger out of his mouth. "It's a blood oath." Starts suckin' on it again.

I don't even like the taste of my own blood. The way I figure it, Mattie's always been my brother. We know things about each other, know each other better than anyone else, even our parents. I swallow hard, then put his finger in my mouth. It tastes like metal; warm, thick iron.

Now, he feels like a part of me. Wonder if he thinks the same.