Staking My Claim - 17. Chapter 17

“So what about you and Kyle K?” he asked knowingly, causing me to look away and shrug.

“We’re cool with each other,” I answered, not quite sure how to define my relationship with him.

“I knew that already,” he told me rather bluntly, and I felt more than a little self-conscious. “I guess what I meant was, how cool are you with each other?”

“I guess I’m kind of crushing on him,” I admitted. “What has he said about me?”

I’ll admit that talking about my growing crush on Kyle K with his best friend wasn’t quite the impossible task I thought it would be, but it wasn’t exactly comfortable either. But being alone with him in a moving car, I wasn’t exactly in a position to avoid him, so I dealt with the awkwardness by looking out the window at the pavement as it rolled by us at forty miles per hour.

“He really likes you,” he told me in a quiet tone. “But you’re the first person he’s ever liked. I mean, ever.”

“I kinda figured that,” I said, turning my gaze his way again. “I really care about him a lot as a friend, and maybe something more. We haven’t really talked about it.”

“I don’t think he knows what to do next,” he informed me. “He’s waiting for you to make the next move.”

“Well, we haven’t done a lot,” I said. “I don’t think we’re ready for anything serious yet.”

“He already told me everything,” he replied, and I grinned because I knew that meant they had about a thirty-second conversation about our sexual escapades.

The truth of the matter was that Kyle and I hadn’t done much sexually at all. In fact, besides the blowjob I’d given him, we hadn’t done anything. Not that it was exclusively my choice, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have something to do with that choice. It was a mutual decision, and one I hadn’t regretted at all.

We certainly had opportunities to go further. All the way if we’d have had the inclination. The thing was, I wanted to take it slow with him because I could sense his fear when things started to heat up between us. I’d already given him what I later learned was his first orgasm, and I think it was too much for him to deal with. Not the orgasm itself, but the feelings of affection and attachment that came with it. Or, more to the point, the feelings of detachment he felt when I left that day.

I would have never guessed that a cutie like Kyle K was a virgin. Not in the least. But more shocking than that, at least to me, was the fact that not only was I his first kiss and his first crush, but that he’d never had an orgasm in his life until I gave him that fateful blowjob. He didn’t even realize he could get that worked up I learned, and had funny ideas about what cumming was all about.

I found all of this out the first time we had a chance to be alone after I sucked him off. We were back in his room, all alone, and I knew that Phillip and Jarred weren’t going to be there for at least another hour. I wasn’t sure what was going to happen between us that morning, but I had plans to spend time with Kyle, and hopefully, to satisfy both of our needs.

When he let me in that morning, I was nervous. More to the point, my legs were practically trembling at the possibilities I knew I was facing. I mean, on one hand, I was afraid he was going to decide he hated what we did, and that he didn’t like guys after all. Then there was the part of me that was scared he was going to use the “L” word, or even worse, expect some kind of commitment. There was no way I was ready for that.

I guess the other part of it was the guilt I felt because I had been with Phillip the night before, and that I was already scared that he was on to Kyle and me. Not that he was a saint, but it was different for me. Also, I didn’t want to be classified as a slut, which was how I was starting to feel after cheating on my boyfriend. But if I was a slut, what did that make Phillip? Or for that matter, Jarred? Then again, what the hell did any of what I did with Kyle K have to do with what Phillip and Jarred were? They weren’t the ones kissing him and they hadn’t blown him. I had, and the burden was mine.

As it turned out, I didn’t have too much to worry about. Kyle isn’t much of a morning person, as I found out, and looked worse than disheveled when he came to the door. His hair was a mess, he had sleep in his eyes, and he was only wearing his boxers and a white tee shirt. He smiled when he saw me standing on his porch, though, and when I came in, he closed the door and gave me a hug that told me he was glad I was there.

Thanks to his morning breath, he was too self conscious to kiss me, but he did go to the bathroom and brush his teeth while I waited on the couch. I thought he was going to come join me on the couch, but instead, he walked halfway down the staircase and beckoned me to follow him to his room. When we got there, he closed the door and turned his light on, then he sat down on his bed and scratched his messy hair with both hands, obviously still trying to wake up.

“Sorry I wasn’t up yet,” he said shyly, trying in vain to fix the tangled mop on top of his head.

“Don’t worry about it,” I told him, starting to build confidence because I knew that I was in control of the situation.

“My hair’s a mess and I’m not dressed,” he groaned.

“I think your hair looks cute,” I said as sweetly as I could. “And so do you.”

With that, he smiled at me and batted his eyes, his moist, pouty lips calling out to me for contact. Like the sirens that lured unsuspecting sailors to their peril in Ancient Greece, they beckoned me to move to them, so I did. As our lips met, the taste of minty toothpaste swirled around in my mouth with his tongue for a full minute. When we broke our kiss, he looked at me and giggled and my heart melted.

At that point, I knew I could dictate what happened next, but for some reason, I decided to let him call the shots. His plan was to turn on the TV and watch, of all channels, Nickelodeon. We cuddled up together on his pillow and held each other tightly. Every once in a while, I felt him nuzzle his face against my neck, and that was my sign that he wanted a kiss. Not a French kiss, but a peck on the lips. Then he’d sigh and was content for a while.

I never made a move to put my hands down his boxers, or even to stimulate him in the least. I found myself content just to be there with him, soaking up the warmth of his body and stealing little pecks on the lips as we watched Fairly Odd Parents and Sponge Bob Squarepants. I realized that I was so comfortable, and that there was something so right about what we were doing, that I didn’t need to have sex with Kyle K.

“This feels good, doesn’t it?” he said, and I nodded silently.

“I like it a lot,” I told him.

“Did you want to do what we did the other day again?” he asked, and I tightened my grip around him.

“Only if that’s what you want,” I said lovingly.

“I’d rather just do this,” he said. “I’ve never done that before.”

“You didn’t like it?” I asked, and he nuzzled his face into my neck again. In reply, I gave him another peck on the lips, then he spoke.

“It’s not that,” he said quietly. “It’s just that, I don’t know if I’m ready for that yet.”

“It’s okay,” I said. “We can go slow. I really like just sitting with you.”

“That was a blow job, wasn’t it?” he asked, and I nodded again, the reality of his naivety so clear to me now. I really didn’t understand how he couldn’t have known what it was, but the closer I got with him, the more I could see how innocent he really was.

“Did you like it?” I asked, and he nodded slowly. I thought I sensed a little bit of uncertainty in his nod, but thought that maybe I was being paranoid. What he said next confirmed my suspicions.

“I’ve just never felt anything like it,” he confessed shyly, tightening his grip around me. “That was the first time I’ve ever even, well, you know.”

“You mean, with someone else?” I asked softly, and he shook his head no.

“I mean, ever,” he said. “I thought I had, but now I know I never have before.”

I was a little shaken by his revelation. I mean, here was this hottie who was almost a year older than I was, and he’d never had a real orgasm in his life. I guess I wasn’t one to talk, though, since Jarred had given me mine. Still, for some reason, I thought he would have at least done it himself at some point. Looking back at my own experiences, though, it made sense.

“So do you think it’s something you’d want to do again?” I asked more than offered, but in reality, I was more than willing to help him out again. If he were ready, that was.

“Not yet,” he practically whispered into my ear right before he kissed my head. “I just want to feel you like this, Andrew.”

“This is nice,” I said back to him, then I took the initiative and planted another kiss on his lips. I moved my hand down to his stomach, then around to his ribs, and that was when he jerked and giggled. I smiled when I came to the realization that he was ticklish, then I reached out and did it again, causing him to break up in a fit of laughter that only encouraged me. At some point, we wound up rolling around on his bed, fighting for an advantage, and that was how I wound up with my head on his stomach, pushing his shirt up to expose his tummy and his nipples. I planted a circle of kisses around his belly button, which was an outtie, then I moved up to each nipple, running my tongue over each one as he took my hands into his and smiled down at me.

When I moved back down to his navel, I swirled my tongue all over it, then I brought myself back up so that we were face to face, and I kissed him again, letting my tongue travel into his mouth and dance with his. He was caressing my back and shoulders, and I was running my fingers through his blonde mop. When we broke our kiss, I moved back down his body, leaving a trail of kisses in my wake until I made it back to his belly button, where I promptly gave him a series of raspberries that had him squirming with laughter again.

One hug later, Kyle K was in the shower and I was sitting on his beanbag, surfing the channels on his Plasma TV and looking over all of the different hair care products he had on his vanity. When he got out, I watched him get dressed, then I made him sit on the floor between my legs and let me twist his hair up into spikes. When I was finished, he looked in the mirror and beamed, then he looked back at me for affirmation, which I gave him in the form of a kiss and a hug.

Not long after that, Jarred called and said he was on his way. We told him to stop at Phillip’s and drag him along, then we held hands on the couch while we waited for them to get there.

“So do you think things might get serious between you two?” Kyle Porter asked as we approached the Tisdale residence, which wasn’t too far from my own.

“It could,” I said noncommittally. “I just want to take things slow so we don’t ruin our friendship. You know what I mean?”

“Yeah,” he said with a smile.

“I’ll hop in back,” I offered as I saw Renee come out to the car, but Kyle stopped me.

“You don’t have to,” he said, then he got out and I watched as Renee rounded the car and met him at his door. They locked lips, and I had to turn away because I felt like I was intruding. When Renee got in, she gave me a hug, then she latched onto her boyfriend’s arm and we drove off.

_________________________________________________________________________

Jarred Fedina was conspicuous by his absence, but it was no surprise to me. Phillip, Kyle K and I exchanged silent, knowing glances between us as Renee and Kyle Porter wondered why he wasn’t there. Finally, Phillip spoke up, and I almost choked.

“He’s being punk right now,” Phillip said. “He’ll come back around. You know how he gets sometimes.”

“What did you guys have a fight or something?” Kyle asked, and Phillip rolled his eyes as if it were nothing unusual.

“Yeah,” he said. “He was making an ass out of himself the night before last.”

“I don’t know why you didn’t just kick his ass,” Kyle K said. “You could have just used some of that Kung Fu crap on him.”

With that, Kyle K got into a Karate stance, or what looked like one, then he imitated what looked like Marshal Arts, sound effects and all. I looked at Phillip questioningly, and he just shrugged,

“I wouldn’t do that unless I had to,” he said. “Besides, you remember what happened in eighth grade.”

“Yeah you fucked him up,” Kyle Porter agreed with an amused chuckle.

“You two had a fist fight before?” I asked, and Phillip smiled at me and nodded.

“If you want to call it that,” Kyle K bragged, “Cassiante fucked Fedina up.”

“It wasn’t that bad,” Phillip said, looking at the floor. “We just had to get it out of our systems. Sometimes friends do that.”

“He looked pretty pissed last night,” I commented.

“The only reason he left was because he knew what would happen if he didn’t cool it,” Kyle K said. “I mean, honestly Cassiante, you let him get away with too much shit.”

“He’s my best friend,” Phillip said defensively. The thing was, I didn’t know if he was saying it in defense of himself or of Jarred. “Besides, I was in total control. He has to have a victory every now and then, too, you know.”

“He probably just needs to get laid,” Kyle Porter joked, and Renee smacked his arm.

“That’s not nice, honey,” she admonished him.

“It’s probably true,” Kyle K said. “Either that or he needs to jack off.”

I looked over at Phillip, who had a look of deep reflection on his face as he looked into the carpet, and I knew what he was thinking. I couldn’t help but feel a little bad, especially when I thought about the way he had treated me like a delicate flower the night before, and every time he was with me. He deserved to be happy, I felt, but he was bringing all of his unhappiness with Jarred on himself.

But then I couldn’t exactly speak on his situation without taking my own into account. I mean, here I was, settling for second best again. I had been on a mission for months to break Jarred and Phillip up so I could have Jarred all to myself. Then, I decided he wasn’t worth it anymore, and that I wanted Phillip. The thing was, I didn’t have Phillip to myself, and I knew it.

At least Jarred was honest with me about having a boyfriend. Phillip was sure he was deceiving me, and it was upsetting to think about but not when we were together. When it was just the two of us, I felt like royalty because that’s how he treated me. As if I were the center of his universe, and no one else and nothing else mattered. And that was what I was able to convince myself of, too.

Maybe that’s because I had baggage of my own to carry. I had been effectively helping Jarred cheat on his boyfriend, and I knew it. Not just that, but I wanted Phillip out of the picture and did what I could to lure Jarred back to my bed because I was sure Phillip wasn’t worthy of him.

What I learned was that Jarred was the one who was unworthy. He lied to me about Phillip, and he lied to me about wanting to be with me. Well, I mean, he wanted to be with me in my room, but he never wanted to commit to me. He’d never bought me jewelry or asked me to be his boyfriend. He didn’t give me flowers or write me poems. He didn’t serenade me and dance with me, and he didn’t shower me with affection all the time.

Then I looked over at Kyle K and thought about the relationship we were forging. Maybe something would come of it, or maybe not. I was glad we were taking things slowly, but what was in our future? Would he find out about Phillip? Or Jarred? If he did, would he think I was a whore?

At that point, I blinked and shook the thoughts of insecurity out of my head. Just in time, too, because Kyle K had just produced a nicely rolled green joint, and was about to light it up. I put my head back on the couch cushion and surveyed the room. In some fashion or another, everyone with me knew something about me. Phillip and I were lovers. Kyle K and I were getting friendly, but not quite serious. Still, we were serious enough to cause a lot of hurt feelings if we weren’t careful. Kyle Porter knew about Kyle K and me, and he’d told Renee, I was sure.

Before I had time to ponder the thought any further, Phillip was passing me the joint, which had a run in it. I dabbed my finger with a little saliva, wet the spot that was running, then I hit it until it was burning evenly again, passing it off to Renee and coughing uncontrollably as I exhaled.

________________________________________________________________________

“I know I fucked up, Andrew,” Jarred admitted. “I just got so mad at him. I don’t know what came over me. I mean, you know how he can get.”

“No, actually, I don’t,” I snapped at him. “Jarred, you have no business putting your hands on Phillip or anyone else. You don’t know how lucky you are to have him, do you?”

“I do,” he said, trying to convince me. “You know, I was pretty lucky to have you too.”

“You never had me,” I sneered. “And thank God for that. If you would have ever tried that crap on me, my dad would have been after your ass.”

Okay, so I know I was acting out, but I was really pissed off at him. I mean, he had a lot of nerve to show up at my door looking for a friend after the display he put on. To make things worse, he was coming up with all of these lame excuses and angles so I’d forgive him.

“Andrew, I’d never do that to you,” he said in his most charming voice. “You’re special to me. You know that.”

“Jarred, just stop it!” I snapped again. “Just admit that you’re an asshole, and maybe we can move on.”

“I’m not an asshole,” he said defensively.

“Oh no?” I said incredulously.

“Okay, maybe I was being one the other day,” he said. “I don’t know why I did it, Andrew. I was stupid.”

“You’re right, you were,” I said. “You know, Phillip’s my best friend right now, and I don’t like how you treated him. If you do it again, I’ll go to your house and tell your mom and dad.”

Wow. I don’t know where that came from, but I knew I meant it. I got the feeling from Mr. And Mrs. Fedina that they’d disapprove of any kind of violence from Jarred toward Phillip, and I wasn’t afraid to expose it if I had to. Luckily for me, Jarred seemed to take me seriously.

“I promise, Andrew,” he swore. “Just don’t ditch me, please.”

I gave him a sideways glance, took a deep breath, thought about how much Jarred’s friendship had always meant to me, and found myself blinking back tears. He held his arms out for me, and I moved into them slowly. I felt his embrace for the first time in a long time, then I felt tears on the back of my neck and I knew he was being sincere.

“I mean it Jarred,” I sobbed. “Phillip’s my best friend. Don’t hurt him again.”