Loneliness - 1. Loneliness

Sitting at his computer screen, staring into the digital void
He wonders how he could feel so alone in the world
A veil of darkness surrounds him, engulfing him in his misery
He looks at the screen once more, and then to his phone
Wondering why he can’t seem to get a hold of anyone

He gets up from his computer screen, and grabs his pack of cigarettes
He ventures outside, taking his phone with him and sits down in a chair
He lights his cigarette, takes a drag of the smoke and exhales slowly
He looks at his phone, then closes his eyes listening to nothing
He clears his mind and takes another drag and exhales

His phone goes off and he jumps a bit, not expecting it to
He looks at the message and his heart sinks
“To busy tonight, lets try for tomorrow” the message says
He sighs and takes another drag, wonders why he has to feel so alone
“That’s ok” he responds back “Maybe another time”

He takes another drag, and lets his mind wander off
He phone beeps again, but it’s only a message from his friend
“Wanna hang out tonight” the message asks him
He exhales the smoke and types his response
“Wouldn’t your boyfriend suspect something? He did last time.”

He sent the reply, taking another drag he waited and frowned
“We broke up, and I need someone to hang with”
He thought for a minuet, and sighed a breath of defeat
“Ok, come and pick me up” He typed his response
He stubs out his cigarette and heads inside to get ready for the night

The friend picks him up, twenty minuets later, looking ready for the night
“Let’s head to the bar” he say’s “And have a good time”
They head to the bar, only a ten minute drive, get out of the car, and walk in
They go to the bar and order their drinks, when he notices someone
He notices a boy with dark rimmed glasses

He walks over to the boy, leaving his friend to fend for himself
They being to chat it up, and they start to flirt with each other
His phone goes off, a message from his friend, “Got someone for the night... you?”
He sighs as he puts the phone away, looks to his friend and gives him a look
The friend shrugs his shoulders, asking the simple question ‘what?’

He mouths the word ‘rebound’ and the friend smiles and mouths back ‘so?’
He turns back to the boy with dark rimmed glasses and they talk some more
Time passes on and become more and more friendly
By the time the bar is set to close, he looks at the boy and asks for his number
The boy gives his number and asks for his back

Smiling, they get up and kiss, but the boy slips him some tongue
Taking this as a sign, he asks if he wants to hang out some more
Maybe even come over to his place and to talk and chat
The boy’s smile turns into a frown, "Sorry," he says
"My boyfriend wouldn’t like me going anywhere without him"

They hug and part ways, and he walks back to his friend’s car to wait
His friend and his date for the night walk over and see him waiting there
“Um, dude,” his friend asks “Mind catching a cab home?”
Not wanting to cause a fight, he says “Sure.”
He goes to call a cab, that's when the darkness closes in as he falls with a jerk

Three weeks pass by and he awakes from a coma, remembering what happened
On his way home, he got jumped and beaten within an inch of his life
They stabbed him in the side, but thankfully the boy saw what happened
The boy pulled his car over, chased away the thugs, and called 911
He remembered his last words to the boy “I wish you weren’t taken.”

He looked around the room, and saw the boy with dark rimmed glasses
He smiled and said his name, very hoarse and very weakly
The boy looked up from his book and smiled his killer smile
“Hey,” he said walking over and taking his hand
“You’re awake.”He smiled at the boy, and whispered his thanks and gratitude

“You showed me something that night” the boy said “How to feel happy again”
He looked at the boy, and smiled weakly, “I love making people happy.”
“You made me happy and after the attack on you, brought me closer to my…”
He looked at the boy, and almost began to cry right then and there
He wanted a happy ending, but instead he didn’t get one.

He ended up worse off then before; he was alone, hurt, and depressed.
He hoped the boy came to him to say I fell in love with you
Instead though he brought the boy closer to his love, closer then before
He smiled weakly and said he wanted to be alone for a bit, the boy smiled and left
He looked around and once he was alone, cried himself to sleep, never to wake up

Doctors say it’s possible to die from a broken heart and from depression
Maybe that’s what happened to him, all because he was certain to end up alone
Others say that might have died due to complications from the attack
He died alone that day in the hospital, with no one he loved there or anywhere
All he wanted was to feel loved, but was always rejected, he felt, by everyone

He died from loneliness and abandonment, never finding the one he loved