Fallen Pride - 3. Chapter 3

Kiorl crashed through the portal, snarled at the demon on guard and stomped away across the inner circle. His black mood flowed through him, as visible as a raging sea, and major and minor demons alike fled from his path as the most senior member of the royal court snarled to himself.

It hadn’t been what he wanted, and Kiorl’s trip upstairs hadn’t ended any different from a thousand others he’d taken.

What did you want? Kiorl cursed his inner voice, the reasonable, rationale, reflective part of his mind which sounded so much like his oldest friend. You wanted to go home with that boy and just, what, sleep with him?

Fuck off. Kiorl snapped, his fangs gnashing together. He wished he could just get drunk and forget about the whole thing. Being wasted was an excellent distraction, but Kiorl hadn’t been organised enough to bring liquor down with him from Upstairs, and there was no way he was going to Snakes and Snakes. The downside to living with hell’s only barman was that Jem wasn’t afraid of asking questions, and Kiorl didn’t even feel much like pulling rank right then. With no clear plan in mind, he headed to the house.

He’d wanted to taste the life so many of his friends had chosen. No less than four of those he lived with had once been human, recruited by their demon lovers, and they all seemed so damn fucking happy. Of them all, Jahke and Sitka’s relationship was the one he understood, because Jahke was so delicious, and they shared so beautifully. Jem would share if the mood struck him, but even though the idea of monogamy confused Kiorl, he didn’t have to have any empathic talent at all – and he didn’t – to see how happy Atoki and Vruuaska made each other.

I’ve never been that happy. Not even before… Kiorl didn’t even want to admit it inside his own head. But even when he and Nassau had shared a bed, they hadn’t been in love like that.

Kiorl knew, as soon as he entered the house, the person he wanted was in the den. The scent of red-pink adoration suffused the house. From the doorway, Kiorl watched Jahke, lying back against his mate, nose buried in a book always. Most of the others were there, Vruuaska sitting in the hearth, talking to Shindae about things which only flame-born demons cared about. Kiorl decided he didn’t care what anyone speculated, because he needed the release. He strode forwards and held Jahke’s gaze as the boy looked up.

“Kiorl?”

“Can I borrow you?” he paused, knowing he would have to clarify what he wanted, “Privately?”

“Oh,” Jahke knew better than to make a scene, but simply turned to his lover with a questioning expression. Sitka nodded tightly, and reached out for Jahke’s hand.

“Like this?” It was not clear to whom Sitka was addressing the question, but Jahke nodded, and a moment later, the boy’s eyes were very slightly unfocused, and Kiorl knew the demon had used compulsion on his partner, if only a little.

He took the unresisting Jahke by the hand and pulled the boy up to his room. Before the door was even closed, Jahke had his hands in Kiorl’s clothes, stroking his velvet furred muscles in an innocent manner which was decidedly erotic. Jahke was almost never not horny, and Sitka’s compulsion always brought out that side of him. Kiorl allowed himself to be pushed back onto his plush sofa by the lithe little demon, and Jahke stripped him effectively, wasting no time in dropping to his knees, mewling as he lapped at Kiorl’s thick cock. The panther groaned, and let his head fall back as Jahke swallowed him down. The white demon with the blush-pink lips was the second most skilled Kiorl had ever known, and he’d had a lot less than the millennia Nassau had to practice.

Gods that’s good… Kiorl purred in his own skull. I wonder how long he could do this for?

Jahke didn’t seem in a hurry, and Kiorl settled himself back into his rich furs to enjoy himself when, unbidden, an image came to his mind of the pale new creature who’d been sleeping in Nassau’s study. Kiorl groaned, but unfortunately it had nothing to do with Jahke’s skilled tongue.

Concentrate you idiot. This is the best thing that’s happened to you today, and you’re missing it.

If it’s so much fun, then why is it taking so much effort?

Kiorl growled at himself and focused on the delightful sight of his black cock vanishing and reappearing from Jahke’s suckling mouth.

When you’ve finished with him, he’ll go back to Sitka and they’ll snuggle up together, trade quips about their days. You’ll lie here until tomorrow, and you’ll be alone.

Kiorl groaned. Jahke was too skilled to resist, and Kiorl realised he was rapidly losing control of his subconscious as well as his self restraint. He cried out as he came in Jahke’s hot little mouth, and the demon sat back on his hooves with a happy grin. When Kiorl met his eyes, his vision swam.

“Kiorl?” No one could accuse Jahke, even after all these years, of having any decorum at all, and the demon swarmed up the sofa and wrapped Kiorl’s much larger frame in his arms.

“No… don’t...” But it was too late, and Jahke’s simple hug unlocked something inside Kiorl. Tears like diamonds rolled down his fur, and moments later he was clutching Jahke hard enough for his short claws to draw blood, and sobbing all his anger and frustration out into the boy’s smooth skin. Jahke said nothing, just held him tight, his body a warm and comforting presence in his arms. To Kiorl, it felt like a long time before he was able to properly draw breath again. He uncurled his spine, and looked directly into Jahke’s open gaze.

“You don’t have to tell me,” the demon gave him the world’s smallest smile, reached out, and rubbed one finger between his eyes. Kiorl forced himself to relax his expression. “But it might help.”

“I’ll be fine.”

Really? Kiorl hated the voice which sounded so much like Nassau. If you do one thing for the sake of your sanity this century, don’t let him leave right now.

Kiorl felt misery snake through his heart like a cold trickle, and he reached for Jahke, even though the boy hadn’t gone anywhere. Jahke kissed him, and there was no pretence in him. Kiorl wasn’t keeping him against his will. For the smallest fraction of a heartbeat, he felt a shimmer of what it must be like for the others, to have someone to be with, someone who adored them, and to his dismay he started crying again.

These weren’t beautiful tears, but sobs which racked his body and made him want to throw up. The panther gasped and coughed, struggled to draw breath, and clung onto Jahke as though the world was ending. In all honesty, the wolf leaping up to swallow the sun and the marching of The Gods across the land would have been marginally easier to deal with. Kiorl had so little frame of reference for the way he felt. As he began to find the end of his misery, snapping like a loose rope in the wind, Kiorl tried to remember if he had ever cried before.

“I-,” Kiorl had no idea what words he wanted to say, what he could use to make Jahke understand him. “You won’t tell anyone will you?”

“Kiorl,” Jahke’s tone chided him softly, “of course not. Talk to me.”

“I never talk to anyone,” Kiorl let out a breath he didn’t realise he’d been holding. “Even Nassau, we talk about everything else, but it’s been years since we had a conversation which actually mattered.”

“Dare I point out that’s not particularly healthy?” Jahke bit his lower lip and frowned softly, one eyebrow raised. The almost-serious expression made Kiorl want to grab him just to shock him out of it. Jahke looked too adorable to be serious about anything. “Talk to me Kiorl; what happened to you today?”

Kiorl took a deep breath. He didn’t want to get into the gory details, after all, what he’d done to the humans who had tried to attack him wasn’t anything new. Neither was the reason behind it. They’d been mortal, easy, foolish, and Kiorl was one of the most powerful creatures in the underworld. He’d used his special skills to torture each and every one of them before he’d killed them in the most disgraceful manners he could devise. He’d saved the young man from the club for last, and in a bizarre parody of the evening they might have had, fucked him up against wall in his real shape, torturing the boy with the knowledge of what was being done to him, and then killed him in the high of his orgasm. It was only as he lay there with Jahke, Kiorl realised his fur was crusted and dried with the human's blood. Vaguely he wondered if Jahke had noticed, or having noticed, cared. Kiorl stared at the ceiling. If he wasn’t going to tell Jahke now, he wouldn’t tell anyone ever.

“I’m lonely.”

Jahke was silent for so long Kiorl started to think he wasn’t going to say anything at all.

“Kiorl,” Jahke touched the pad of his thumb to the panther’s cold wet nose, “I know.”

“You do?”

“I’m not made of stone,” Jahke glanced down at his almost nude body; sucking Kiorl off had had a predictable effect on his crotch, “obviously.”

“Everyone knows don’t they?” Kiorl felt a hot flood of rage course through his body. His hand tightened around Jahke’s shoulder, and he only realised his action when the boy let out a high pitched groaned which was all pain. “Fuck,” Kiorl let go of him in shock, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s OK,” Jahke’s gaze turned inwards, and he rolled the joint with a crack as his skin healed, “I’ll live.” Jahke smoothed Kiorl’s silky black hair. “Zai and Tobias know, but they know practically everything.” The wrinkle in Jahke’s plump lip proved to Kiorl he wasn’t the only one who sometimes disliked sharing their house with empaths. “You worry too much what people think Kiorl.”

“I’m a major demon. My pride is all I have.”

“Now you’re just being dramatic,” Jahke quipped.

“I know,” Kiorl took the young demon’s slender hips in his hands and balanced Jahke’s body over himself. “It is working?”

Jahke melted against him with a happy groan. Kiorl purred into his hair. It felt nice to have Jahke cuddled up against him, warm, and pliant, and full of delicious possibilities.

But you can’t keep him. The thought stung. Just as Kiorl had settled it inside himself to be happy, he felt the cold slick of despair trying to drown him once more. He’s not yours, and he can’t make you happy. Not in the way you want.

Kiorl stopped the train of thought and kept his voice level when he asked Jahke his next question.

“Do you love Sitka?”

“Yes. Completely. Why?” Jahke leant up, and the motion brought his warm tumescent cock into contact with Kiorl’s crotch. Kiorl smiled at the little distraction.

“How did you know?”

To his surprise, Jahke laughed.

“Oh Kiorl, babe, that’s not a question you can answer properly in words.” Jahke wriggled against him experimentally, and his pleasure at Kiorl’s reaction showed on his face. “You just know. I would rather not live than be without him. And I’m so lucky we get to spend eternity together.”

“Forever is a long time,” Kiorl purred.

“I know,” Jahke grinned, “and how wonderful is that?”

“Mmm...”

Kiorl was no longer interested in talking so much. Jahke was hot and ready in his lap, and Kiorl had never put a lot of effort into resisting the things he wanted. Jahke’s legs wrapped around his hips automatically, and the panther slid a hand down the pert flesh of his ass, parting the mounds and seeking out the heat of the little demon’s tender flesh. Jahke groaned in pleasure and kissed him, his messy blond curls mingling with Kiorl’s dark silk hair. The panther shredded what remained of Jahke’s clothes, it was easier than undressing him, and lifted the boy into a better position. He didn’t bothered preparing him, because his cock knew the way to Jahke’s tight gripping tunnel, and Kiorl couldn’t wait. He plunged into his bedmate with a snarl of pleasure, delighting in Jahke’s high pitched cry at the sudden invasion.

He kept his hands on Jahke’s hips, and began a long leisurely thrusting, pulling himself from the hot confines of Jahke’s body in infinite slowness, just so he could re-experience the pleasure of reaming him yet again. Jahke balanced himself on Kiorl’s chest, his short nails scratching up patches of dried blood from the boy Kiorl should have spent the night with. He smiled at Kiorl, bent his head for kisses as they fucked almost noiselessly in the candlelit room.

“You’ll know,” Jahke’s voice staggered with desire and lust, “when it happens, you’ll know, and you’ll be mad because none of us told you how wonderful it is.” Jahke kissed him hard, invading his mouth, and for the first time in a long time, Kiorl let himself be effectively plundered. He wrapped one hand around Jahke’s rose blush erection, and stroked the boy in time with his thrusts. “One day you’ll have what we have, if you want it.”

Kiorl thought of Jahke cuddled up with Sitka in the den, reading a book. It wasn’t the image which should have brought him to completion, not with the super sweet demon riding him like a fairground ride, but it was. Kiorl bit back a snarl of feral pleasure as he came, hot and messily, inside the young demon. Half a dozen strokes later, Jahke’s orgasm painted his fur, and the boy sank against him with a happy groan. Kiorl grinned at him.

“There’s my favourite feline,” Jahke kissed him, then rubbed at the short fur behind Kiorl’s ear. Despite himself, the panther purred.

“And I always thought Zai was more your type.”

Jahke winked conspiratorially.

“Shhh, don’t tell the others.”

They stayed together, puddled in a pile of furs and sated happiness, until Jahke’s flat stomach growled. Kiorl didn’t try and stop him, but simply kissed Jahke back with as much power as the boy gave as he finally pulled himself from Kiorl’s shaft and stood on wobbly knees.

“Tobias will be serving dinner. You wanna come clean up with me?” Jahke stretched in a manner far too erotic considering all they had just done. “Hopefully I can get in the shower, though to be honest if Jem and Kiaza are still in there I shall just wash around them. I can’t wait to get another bathroom. You coming, Kiorl?”

“No, you go ahead. I’ll be down in a bit.”

Jahke gave him a last parting kiss, and wandered naked and unashamed, from his room.

Kiorl stared at the rough stone ceiling for a long time. He had admitted his greatest desire, out loud, and he was surprised Jahke was right, and he felt better for it. But not by much.

That’s because you didn’t ask him the most important question.

Shut up. Kiorl sighed heavily. What question?

Kiorl could feel his subconsciousness smugness even as the words formed in his head.

Is there even anyone out there capable of loving you?

Kiorl closed his eyes against the thought, even though it didn’t help. Instead of getting up, summoning clothes and going to join the rest of the house for dinner, Kiorl rolled himself up in his furs and blankets, and for the third time that day, allowed himself to cry.