The Brotherhood: Awakening Book II - 18. Chapter 18

The Brotherhood: Awakening

Chapter XVIII

By X

 

 

The endless spiraling ceased when my feet touched “ground,” although there was nothing visibly solid beneath me. There was nothing visible at all. The space around me was consumed by a black haze, making it impossible to see my hand in front of my face.

I knew this place. That’s to say, I knew who dwelled there. I had no doubt my shadowy host would make an appearance before long.

“Hello?” I shouted.

That word, simple in its meaning, was enough to vacate the area of all the fog, revealing, to my surprise, the door. The same one I saw when The Great Mother took me into my mind.

It was just hanging there. Chillin’.

It unnerved me. Not because I knew what was on the other side but because this door had no chains or heavy wooden boards to keep it locked. On the contrary. It looked inviting. And something told me that if I walked up and gently pushed on it, this wooden door would easily open.

So…was this the same door?

I blinked hard and slowly. Half expecting something or someone else to show up. Maybe a clue for what my next move should be. But there was nothing. I was utterly immersed in darkness. No whispers calling my name. No hands reaching for me.

I was alone. Just me and the door.

I was hesitant to go near it. If I opened it, would the memories of my people come flooding in like a tsunami? The Great Mother had assured me the door was locked and would stay that way for some time. But if that were true, what was this? Where were the chains?

I wasn’t moving.

“Wake up, Jacob,” I said, stepping away from the door. “Just wake up already.” I struck the side of my head, hoping I’d snap out of it.

Of course, nothing happened except the farther I moved from the door, the closer it seemed to get. It was like walking the wrong way on an escalator.

“I’m not playing this game!” I shouted before turning and running away from the door into the darkness.

I don’t know how long I ran, but it felt like a marathon. I had no idea where I was going or if I was going anywhere, actually. The dark haze made seeing two inches in front of me impossible.

And then bam!

I ran straight into a fucking wall. I mean, I slammed into that bitch at full speed. I tumbled back, fell hard on my butt, then kept rolling back like a poorly-trained Olympian. The darkness receded, and there it was again.

“Fuck!” I shouted angrily while looking up at the door. “I am not opening it!”

As if answering me, the metal hinges squealed, and the wood planks creaked as the door opened on its own. I was immediately struck with the unmistakable smell of ocean water and could hear the crashing waves below. The door was now like a window to a very familiar night sky. That was not exactly what I was expecting.

“Okay….weird.”

It was clear there was no fighting this. I wasn't the one in control. At least not consciously. I got up, dusted myself off, and gave in by walking through that fucking door.

“What in the world….” I mumbled as I stared off into the ocean. I was clearly at our bluff. I had seen these dark waters too often to mistake the beautiful vista. But was any of it real?

Sharp laughter pierced my ears. I spun around to look for the source, and that’s when I saw them. Or should I say, that’s when I saw us? It was me and Q lying on the ground in each other’s arms, the dancing feathers floating over us…er them… just like I remembered. I could hear them talking but couldn’t make out any words. It was like listening to background noise in a busy restaurant. Not that it mattered since, you know, I was there.

I smiled.

We looked happy together.

It took me a minute to realize the door was gone, and I was standing midair a few feet away from the cliff's edge and twice as many feet above it. Not hovering or flying, but actually "standing" as if on solid ground. I looked down and recoiled at the sight. The shadowy figure was beneath me, like my reflection if I was standing on water.

“Beautiful pair,” it said.

I stumbled backward and would’ve fallen, but for the hands that grabbed my shoulders to steady me. It was the shadow. It had to be. I spun around to glimpse his face, but there was nothing there. The shadow was still beneath me. If it moved at all to help me, it was so quick that I didn’t register the movements.

“What is this?” I demanded fiercely. “Who are you?”

I was closer to him than ever, but the shadows around him obscured all details of his identity. It was a man with a man’s voice and a man’s physique. That’s all I could discern. Was this me? My inner demons and fears personified? It wouldn't be my first time arguing with myself over some bullshit.

“This is the future you crave,” the shadow stated.

My eyes moved from the shadow man to the cuddling couple close by.

Yes, I wanted that. I didn’t admit it out loud; I wasn’t giving it the satisfaction, but the shadow knew. The thought didn’t have time to linger long as the sound of metal clashing against metal whistled through the air. I spun around to see two figures in the heat of battle going all out behind me.

They moved quickly, fiercely slashing and thrusting their weapons at each other, hoping to land the killing blow. It was a dance – a violent dance, like a ballet, if the performers were blade-wielding maniacs. When the two warriors finally stopped their onslaught to stare each other down, their identities were clear.

It was me and Q, clad in our respective El’odian armor. Q’s suit, white lusinite inlaid with brilliant purple eiyrlin, gleamed under the moonlight while my black armor drew all shadows to it. Even the wings on our backs, large and magnificent, appeared terrifying, almost as if they were alive and ready to strike down their master’s adversary. My sword pulsated with dark energy, crackling and sizzling like a livewire. As impressive as it was, it was nothing compared to Q’s. His weapon was something else entirely. Not the dual blades I knew him to wield, but a fucking double-ended scythe. Each end of the long, ivory snath had a large, curved blade of pure eiyrlin pulsing with light. Q’s weapon was both beautiful and menacing at the same time. It looked like he could split a mountain in half with that thing. Did this blade even exist, or was it something conjured for the moment? A terrorizing weapon befitting the terrible power Q wielded.

There was no love in their gaze. No warmth. There was a vast space between them, an emptiness, and I’m not referring to the physical distance between their bodies. It was something in their eyes. Something broken. They were galaxies apart, and now, the coldness of that vacuum permeated their hearts, forever turning them against each other.

“This is the future you fear,” the shadow stated, just as matter-of-factly as before.

A sadness washed over me as I watched the two analyzing each other, looking for a weakness to exploit, an opening that would end the conflict with a single blow. I was forced to choke back my sorrow or succumb to it and crumble at the mere thought of what could be.

“Is this what happens if I unlock the door?” I asked; every world felt heavier than the last.

“This is what you believe will happen….deep down in the darkest recesses of your mind.”

I looked over my shoulder at the happy couple. My memories from hours ago came flooding back. I felt joy then, but now I could see true happiness. I can’t say for sure which was stronger. At that moment, I felt both, and it was….overwhelming.

I stared at them for a long while before returning to the dueling pair.

“Are you even real?” I asked. “Or are you a fragment of a memory from long ago? One that somehow managed to breach the door and now lives rent-free in my head?” I looked down at the shadow, frustrated and unable to hide it. “Or maybe you’re my creation? Perhaps you’re my subconscious trying to push me in one direction or another.”

“Yes,” the shadow replied, almost dismissively.

“That doesn’t answer the question, does it?” I snapped. “Which one is it?”

“It does, depending on your view. For I am all those things, save one.”

I could sense his smug smile through the shadow like he was mocking me. Or I was mocking myself; either way, it pissed me off.

“You don’t want me to open the door,” I stated confidently.

“Don’t I?” He sounded genuinely bewildered, questioning how I came to that conclusion.

“No, I don’t think you do,” I said, standing firm on my belief while angrily pointing at the two preparing to hack each other down. “Why else would you show me this? If that could happen by opening that door, no matter how minuscule the chance, why would I even gamble on that outcome? Why?!”

The shadow laughed softly. “I merely paint the picture, Jacob. It’s up to the observer to interpret its meaning.”

“Stop. You’re not going to Great Mother your way out of this one.”

Again, the shadow laughed.

“You’re not me,” I said bitterly. The epiphany bloomed in my mind like a flower touched by the first rays of spring. “My fathers, for whatever reason, went to a lot of trouble to lock away the past, and now you are here showing me this. No….you’re not me. You’re them….or some manifestation of them, a lingering memory I can’t quite reach, trying to keep me away from that door.”

“Is that what I am?” he mused as if my theory delighted him. “Would I even know if I was, I wonder?” He moved to massage his chin as if honestly considering my hypothesis. “Or….” The shadow slowly turned to face the loving couple on the cliffside. He forced my body to turn along with him as he did so. “Perhaps I’m merely here to remind you that, at the end of the day, you are Skai.”

As I laid eyes on them, a dagger appeared in my hands just seconds before I raised them over my head and plunged it into Q’s chest.

“NOOOO!!!” I shouted while reaching for them.

“Hey! What the fuck?! What was that for?”

I heard a loud thud, and abruptly I sat up in the bed, panting heavily. “Huh? What happened? Where’s….”

“You pushed me off the bed, you ass! What gives?”

Shaking my head to clear the fog, I surveyed my surroundings. It looked like my room. The dark shadows and creepy hands were gone. So was the shadow man, but I wasn’t alone. Sunny was lying on his ass on the floor alongside the bed, staring at me.

“I’m sorry….I….I just….”

“Are you okay?” Sunny’s anger was immediately replaced with genuine concern. “You don’t look so good. I’d say you were about to hurl if I didn't know better. But you know, just in case, look over that way.”

“I’m fine. I just….I’m fine.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Sunny asked, jumping up to his feet.

“It’s nothing. I’m good.”

“You don’t sound good, but okay,” his sarcasm was anything but subtle. “Jacob, I’m here if you want to talk about whatever. You know that, right? Even if it has to do with, you know, him.” He couldn’t stop himself from rolling his eyes even if he wanted to.

“I know, Sunny. Thanks. Really.”

“I can’t promise I’ll be the most objective person on Eiyr, but….”

“Really?” I interrupted with a laugh. “Huh. You seem so open-minded about my relationship.”

“But, I will always listen,” he continued, ignoring me altogether. “Anyway, I was about to wake you when you got all stupid. You wanted to talk to Raz this morning before he started his day. It’s now or never.”

“Right!”

I hopped off the bed and spent ten minutes running around like a madman to get dressed. Sunny looked on, amused. A normal Skai could snap his fingers and be done with it, and I could’ve asked him for help, but now that I had all my clothes back, I didn’t want to bother him with that nonsense anymore. Plus, I missed my clothes.

“Where’s Zac?” I asked, popping my head through my t-shirt and noticing my empty bed.

“He got up early to pick out his outfit for the big day before hitting the showers.”

“Can you not say it like that?”

“Like what?”

“Like someone just took a shit in your mouth.”

“Gross!”

“Well, that’s you right now,” I laughed.

“Hey, just because I agreed to let him go doesn’t mean I agreed to be happy about it.”

“I get that,” I conceded. “Just don’t make Zac feel bad for going.”

“I’m not!”

I gave him the look.

“I’m not!” he insisted and placed his hand over his heart. “I promise.”

“Except we don’t really have hearts, so….”

“It’s the thought that counts.”

“You can still come with us, you know,” I offered with a smile.

“Yeah….no. Gargling thumbtacks sounds more enjoyable.”

“Whatever. I’m off.”

“You’re wearing that?” Sunny asked, tilting his head to the side while scrunching his face.

I stopped short of opening the door, looked myself over, and stood in front of the mirror. “What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?” I was wearing slightly faded jeans and a plain olive T-shirt. I admit it was nothing spectacular but nothing to make a face at.

“It’s fine,” he said unconvincingly, tilting his head to the other side.

“You’re insufferable, and I’m leaving.” I headed out the door before he could say another word.

“Okay, bye, but I don’t like that color on you,” I heard Sunny yell.

I had taken a few steps down the hall before a cloud of Askyli surrounded me for a few seconds, and when it was gone, my wardrobe was changed completely. I now had dark wash jeans and a blood-red V-neck sweater over a lighter pink polo. The boots were black and polished, and, of course, the underwear that I finally managed to slip on was gone. Aside from the missing underwear, I couldn’t get mad at Sunny for this look.

“You could’ve just done this ten minutes ago!” I shouted back, drawing the attention of some of the brothers in the hall. I waved at them nonchalantly. “Hi….”

“I know!” Sunny yelled, and I swear I heard him chuckle.

“Ugh!”

I stormed off to meet Raz. On the way to his office, I got a text from Arsen confirming the time we’d meet for breakfast. Nine-thirty was perfect because it gave me over an hour to sit with Raz and review all the information I wanted to share with him. Unless he bombarded me with a thousand and one questions, I’d have plenty of time to meet up with the guys. I warned Arsen I was bringing a plus one, and he found it weird that Q was joining us for breakfast. He was cool with it but didn’t feel like we’d be able to talk as freely as he’d hoped with him there. I assured him he was dumb and that it wasn’t Q. Despite his repeated text, I refused to name the mystery guest.

Truth be told, I barely needed forty minutes with Raz. He listened intently as I explained what was happening to me. Like Q, he let me get it all off my chest without interruption. I could tell he found several points interesting by how his facial expression changed slightly, but like Q, he saved his questions until the end.

Raz’s questions revolved around my feelings about the whole situation. His priority appeared to be my well-being. He never questioned me about my plans.

In fact, I’m the one who questioned him. “Aren’t you going to ask what I’ll do?”

Raz’s lips curled downward, not in a frown but in thoughtful consideration. He shook his head no while shuffling some papers around on his desk. “That’s a personal decision that has nothing to do with me or The Club, Jacob. Just know that I'm here to listen if you want to talk about it, discuss your options, or need a second or even third opinion.”

I thanked him with a sincere smile and assured him I was fine for now.

“This information you shared must be reported to Zenial and the others. There were a lot of brothers concerned about you and many questions that need answering since this has never happened before.”

I remember swallowing hard.

“You’re more than welcome to report this yourself, but if you like, Jacob, I can act in your stead and relay the information for you. How’s that sound?”

“Would you?” I damn near jumped out of my chair to kiss his beautiful bald head.

Raz laughed softly.

“You wouldn’t mind?” I asked.

“Not at all,” he declared. “You deserve a break, and I think I’m qualified to lay the groundwork. A few follow-up inquiries may require your input, but nothing I’d consider problematic.”

“I can handle that! I’m just so tired of having to repeat the details over and over again.”

“I figured as much,” he said, grabbing his fedora and flipping it onto his head. “Now, unless there’s something else, as I told you earlier, I have a meeting with Zenial this morning.”

“Nope. Nothing.” I got up to leave and stopped at the door. “Well, actually….” Releasing the doorknob, I slowly turned to face Raz. “You should know….”

“Yes?” he said when I failed to get the words out.

“I, uh….um….” I couldn’t get it out.

“Jacob, just say what needs to be said,” Raz insisted, his tone firm yet brotherly.

“I’m seeing Q!” I blurted out while scratching the back of my head. “Not that I’m seeing him again, I mean. That is, I never stopped seeing him, really. It’s not like we broke up or anything. We never really talked about it, I guess. I mean, for a minute, I assumed we’d probably….”

“Jacob,” Raz said softly as he touched my shoulder. “I know.”

My head involuntarily snapped up to look at him. “What? What do you mean you know? How?”

He smirked. “Jacob, I’ve been around for a minute. You think I can’t tell when one of my guys is in love?” He smoothed out the arms of his jacket while shaking his head. “So, you plan to continue seeing Q, huh? Wow. Are you also going to tell me that the water is wet? Because I’m not sure I can take two world-shattering revelations in a row.”

“Okay, now you’re just being mean.”

“Yes. Yes, I am,” he said while adjusting the collar on my polo.

“Do you think Zenial knows?”

Raz didn’t even answer. He just laughed at me.

“You don’t seem to have a problem with this.”

“You made a choice, Jacob. That’s on you. I told you before that we don’t police our brothers in such matters.”

“Yeah, but it’s Q….”

“Yes, so I’ve heard,” he nodded in agreement and took a few steps back. “You made a choice, Jacob.” As my name left his lips, the dark shadows of his Askyli swirled around him until he vanished. “All choices have consequences,” his voice echoed throughout the room. “Are you prepared to live with yours?”

“Um…okay, that wasn’t ominous at all….” I whispered to myself as I left Raz’s office.

I contemplated Raz’s departing words as I went to Sunny’s room to find Zac. Of course, he was right. I wasn’t idiotic enough to think I could keep seeing Q, and everything would be sunshine and rainbows. But what kind of consequences would I face, I wondered? Would more and more of my brothers adopt Kaylec’s attitude toward me? It certainly gave him more ammunition to fan the flames of suspicion and mistrust, which could easily sway more of my brothers to his side.

Lovely.

I didn’t get to dwell on it for long as the sight of Zac running around like a crazy person in his underwear, socks, and Skai neckless snapped me right out of it. I stood by the door unnoticed for a few minutes, watching Zac, who clearly didn’t know if he was coming or going. He had several outfits on the bed and kept moving the pieces around to see what looked best. Even the belts weren’t safe from his scrutiny.

“Problems?” I said to get his attention.

Startled, he flinched and turned to face me. “Oh, good, you’re here!” He slid over, grabbed me by the hand, and pulled me toward his bed. “What do you think?” he asked, taking one of the sets of clothes and showcasing it over his body.

“Um…it looks fine.”

“Ugh, you hesitated, which means you don’t like it.” Throwing the clothes on the bed, he went for the next set.

“I didn’t hesitate,” I insisted.

“You said ‘um,’ which is hesitation.”

“No, it’s me saying ‘um.’”

“Whatever. What about this one?”

“It looks great!”

“Hmm, you eyed it funny, so I don’t think so. Here hold this.”

“I did no such thing.”

Zac threw the clothes into my hands and ran into the closet. After about five minutes, he came out looking perfectly fine, but then he thought the aquamarine shirt was “too much of a spring color,” so he went back into the closet for another wardrobe change.

Whatever time I saved after meeting with Raz was utterly lost on Zac. I shit you not when I say I stood there for nearly twenty minutes watching Zac change from one outfit to another. If it wasn’t the pants, it was the belt, or his hair or the glasses didn’t match his attire. It was always something!

“Zac, I need you to come out of the closet already.”

“Ha ha!” he giggled. “I see what you did there.”

“I’m not kidding. We’re going to be late.”

“We’re fine,” he insisted with a childish innocence that made me want to smack him. “You said nine-thirty, right?”

“Yeah. Have you looked at the time?”

“Oh, crap!”

“Exactly. Move your ass. And seriously, where did you get all these clothes?”

“The guys, obviously,” he said as he stepped out. “Who needs a Black Card when you have Skylarian brothers?”

I couldn’t help but smirk when I saw him, not because of his dumb comment but his look. It was eerily familiar. Dark-washed jeans, a red sweater over a pink polo. The colors nearly perfectly matched mine. The only difference between our attire was that I wore boots, and he wore sneakers. I don’t know why he matched our outfits, and I didn’t ask. I didn’t want Zac to think I was bothered by it.

I wasn’t. It was sweet, actually.

He probably thought I dressed this way because Q liked it. Therefore, Soullen, Q’s little protégé, would also like it. If he only knew that none of these clothes was my idea. I didn’t share that bit of information with him. Besides, who knows? Maybe I misread his motivation completely.

“What? You don’t like it?” he asked, patting himself as if something was out of place. “I can change.”

“Of course I do,” I said, walking up to him to adjust his collar just like Raz did to me. “You look perfect.”

Zac smiled as I pulled his necklace out from under his shirt and gently pressed it to his chest.

“Okay, now you look perfect.”

“Thanks.” His smile came alive. “What about you? Aren’t you going to change?”

“The hell?” I exclaimed, looking down at myself. “What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?”

“Not your clothes, you dingus,” Zac laughed and pointed at me. “Your face. As much as we love our handsome Skai in this house, I don’t think it will play too well if you go outside with that face on.”

“Oh, shit! Thanks.”

After a brief moment, I was looking like plain old Jacob again. I got behind Zac and gently pushed him toward the door.

“If we’re late, I will beat your ass.”

“Promise?”

“Oh, hell no! No! No! No!” I went to slap the back of his head, but he dodged just in time while laughing his ass off. “Don’t ever say that again!”

“What? A boy can like it rough.”

“Zac!”

He bolted as I chased after him, zig-zagging through several of our brothers to try and throw me off and put more distance between us. The little shit was fast too. I chased him to the gate room, where I finally put him in a headlock and refused to let him go until he apologized.

To my surprise, Sunny was already there, eating a bowl of fruit and presumably waiting for us. The gate was activated as well.

“Oh, hey,” I greeted him, with Zac’s head still locked in my arms. “I wasn’t expecting to see you here.”

“What’s this all about?” he asked, narrowing his eyes while pointing at us with his spoon.

“Your boy here needs to learn how to talk to grown folks.”

“You’re barely older than I am,” Zac argued, struggling to free himself.

“And yet I am.”

Sunny shook his head. “I don’t know what’s going on, and I don’t care. For what it’s worth, your portal awaits, gentlemen.”

“Are you going to apologize?” I asked Zac. “We can stay up here all day, and I can just cancel the whole thing.”

“Oh….” Sunny instantly perked up. “In that case, whatever it is, hold your ground, Zac.”

“Shut up!” I snapped.

In the end, Zac gave up and apologized. When I released him from my hold, Sunny noticed what Zac was wearing and then looked at me.

“Am I having a stroke?” he questioned, pointing at Zac. “That looks exactly like the clo….”

“Ahh, nope, no stroke. The boy really apologized!” I shouted, covering his mouth while I got right in his face. “Just don’t say anything. Trust me.” My voice was barely above a whisper.

“What’s wrong?” Zac asked.

“Nothing,” Sunny shrugged. “You should get going before I change my mind. And behave yourself.” Sunny stopped Zac as he walked past and pressed his finger to his pendant. “If anything goes down, I’ll be there in a flash.” And then he looked at me. “That goes for you too.”

“Relax!” I said, pinching his cheek. “It’s breakfast and a cell phone. We’re not exactly breaking into Fort Knox.”

“Yeah, I have, and it’s not all that impressive,” Sunny mused.

“You broke into Fort Knox?” I asked, stunned.

“I was curious! And let me tell you….”

“Can we go?” Zac demanded and then repeated himself, clapping after every word. “Can. We. Go.”

“Oh, now you’re in a hurry.” I looked at the dark portal for a moment before leaning into Sunny. “Are you sure this isn’t going to take us to Siberia or some shit like that?”

Sunny smirked devilishly. “You know, I was kinda tempted….” He then slapped my ass. “Just go already.”

Before I could protest the ass slap, Zac grabbed me and pulled me through the portal. It wasn’t Siberia this time, but the woods near KU. We made our way out of the woods onto the main road and walked down to The Village. Zac was a chatterbox the whole way there. I barely finished answering one question about my friends before he dropped another one on me. Never mind when the topic of Q and Soullen came up. He was obviously concerned that they’d view him unfavorably.

And then came the “maybe this was a mistake” as we neared the diner.

I finally stopped and grabbed him so he’d look at me. “You’re fine,” I said, holding his chin. “You’re sweet, annoyingly funny, frustratingly smart, kind, and a whole bunch of other adjectives I can’t think of right now. They’re going to like you just fine.”

“Yeah, but we already met, kinda, and they think we’re savages.”

“Trust and believe; I’m not letting that slide,” I assured him. “But you have to remember that was a weird set of circumstances because I was in a coma for three days. Trust me. I know those guys.”

Taking a deep breath, he nodded.

“Duuuude!”

It was like a sonic boom had gone off.

“Oh, god,” I whispered, squeezing Zac’s shoulders. “I might need you to save me.”

Zac laughed.

Just as I turned, CJ came crashing into my arms.

“You’re alive!” he shouted, like a gun going off near my ear.

Before I could respond, I felt another pair of arms around me and then another. The whole crew was squeezing the life out of me, and I probably would’ve keeled over from lack of oxygen if I wasn’t Skai. I looked over at Zac, who had stepped off to the side, and mouthed, “Help,” to which he shrugged and giggled.

I don’t know how long I was in their vice-like grip, but eventually, Arsen spoke up and told everyone to back off and “give him some air.” I didn’t need the air, but I welcomed the freedom. The guys spent the next few minutes expressing elation at seeing me alive and well, coming in for a second or third hug. CJ gave me an “attaboy” and slapped my ass harder than Sunny. You’d think I just came back from the dead or some shit. I made a mental note to check my ass for bruising.

“Who’s this?” Arsen asked, noticing Zac standing off to the side. “This is the plus one that you wouldn’t tell me about. Bastard.”

CJ walked up to Zac and pointed him out to the rest of the group as if he were in a thirty-person lineup. “Hey, it’s Little Dude from the other day. From The Great Mother’s shop, right?”

Zac nodded, bashfully smiling.

“Yeah,” I said, “that’s Zac. Zac, meet everyone. Can we go inside now? People are starting to stare at me because of you weirdos.”

“They’re probably wondering if you’re some celebrity or something,” Zac surmised.

Immediately, CJ jumped on me and draped his arm over my shoulder to pull me in close. “Not a celebrity,” he yelled, pointing down at my head. “Just my bro dude from school. We thought he died.”

“Shut up!” I hissed and launched him toward the diner door.

Everyone cracked up.

We went into the 60s-style diner and took the biggest booth. Zac was glued to me like white on rice, as if not sitting next to me would end civilization as we know it. Watching someone who was usually brash and unreserved be shy and composed was funny.

We went through the motions of ordering food and drinks while chitchatting about everything and nothing simultaneously. I waited until our food was delivered to jump into the heavy stuff, but before I did that, I needed to address something.

“Okay, I need to discuss something with…”

I wasn’t all surprised that CJ would be the one to interrupt.

“Dude, wait,” he said, waving his hand like a lunatic. “There’s something I have to say to Little Dude here. Is that okay?”

I was officially intrigued. “Sure….go for it.”

“Here’s the deal, Little Dude,” he began but was interrupted by the waitress, who forgot Ant’s toast.

Zac leaned into me and whispered, “So, I take it ‘Little Dude’ is just going to be a thing, right?”

“Don’t fight it. Trust me. He’ll just wear you down in the end.”

“Gotcha!” he giggled.

“Anyway, like I was saying, Little Dude, the other day, we said some not-so-nice things.”

Paul ‘coughed’ and snuck in a “mostly you.”

“Whoever was more vocal isn’t the point,” CJ said, raising his voice over Paul’s. “Calling you savages was uncalled for, is all I’m saying. I was in…uh, I mean, we were in a bad headspace, worrying about Jacob and not knowing if he would pull out of whatever was going on with him. I was scared.”

“We were all scared,” Ant added.

“Yeah, but still, that was no excuse, so I just want to apologize on behalf of the group. We don’t think you’re savages; you’re just….”

My ears perked up, wondering, after doing so well, how he would fumble the ball just as he was about to reach the goal. I think Ant sensed my apprehension because he jumped in.

“Just different,” Ant smiled. “That doesn’t make you bad people.”

CJ looked at Ant with a curious expression. “I mean, they do want to end humanity….”

He got two elbows from Ant and Arsen.

“What CJ means is,” Arsen spoke, “we have different views on certain things. Who’s to say which is right or wrong?”

“Eh, probably the side that doesn’t want to commit genocide,” Paul said offhandedly before his eyes widened when he realized that wasn’t a private thought in his head.

I sighed, rolled my eyes, and pinched my fingers together. “You guys were so close.”

Zac found the whole thing amusing.

“Little Dude, we’re sorry.”

“You should’ve just led with that,” I admonished.

“It’s cool if you don’t accept, but….” CJ put his fist out in front of Zac and waited.

With a smile, Zac gave him a fist bump. “Apology accepted.”

CJ, being CJ, erupted into a “happy dance” that drew unwanted attention to our table. I ended up kicking him under the table, or so I thought.

“Ouch!” Arsen exclaimed angrily. “What the hell was that for?”

“Sorry. Wrong shin.”

Zac was living for all the buffoonery unfolding right before his eyes.

“So, Jacob, you wanted to say something,” Arsen said.

I looked at Zac, who gave me a subtle nod that the gang’s poorly executed apology was enough.

“It’s nothing important. Let’s get into why we’re all here. But let me get through it in one go and save all your questions until the end, okay?”

They nodded in unison.

Yeah, that didn’t go as planned. Not two minutes later, I was bombarded with several different questions. Surprisingly, Ant was the worst, whereas I had expected CJ not to be able to control himself. In fact, he was pretty attentive, only interrupting me once.

I finally had to reach over and clamp Ant’s lip shut and tell him to “shhh” and let me finish. He couldn’t control himself. It wasn’t long before he tried to slip in a couple more questions that I ignored. When I was finally done laying out all the facts, he was the first to offer his opinion, which came off more as a directive, if I’m being honest.

“Don’t do it,” Ant said vehemently.

“Ant, come on….” Arsen bemoaned.

“What? I’m just saying what we’re all thinking.”

“It’s not that simple for him,” Arsen added.

“Yeah, man, it’s his parents,” Paul agreed.

“Parents that locked away his memories for a reason. It’s obvious where they stand on this,” Ant rebutted, his words laced with unapologetic sarcasm. “What am I missing here?”

“You’re not….”

“Why should Jacob be made to feel bad over something he had no control over?” Ant questioned, interrupting Arsen. “His parents did this to him. They didn’t want him to have the memories for whatever reason. Now Jacob is supposed to feel guilty if he gets rid of them completely. How does that make any logical sense to anyone? If anything, he’d be honoring their wishes, no?”

I had that same thought but didn’t share it with the group.

“I get what you’re saying, Ant,” Arsen said after finally breaking through Ant’s speechifying. “But don’t you think you’re being a little too one-sided on this?”

“Yeah,” Paul agreed, nudging Ant with his elbow. “You’re not exactly being objective here, I don’t think.”

“You’re damn right. I’m not. I get the whole Q angle and not wanting to lose that. I get it. But what about the rest of us? If he goes through with it, the next time we see him might be with sword in hand.” Leaning forward, he repeatedly tapped the table’s surface with the tips of his fingernails. “We’ve all been through a lot. What we have is special. For fuck’s sake….” Raising his hand, he gestured toward the front of the diner. “We all discover that the world isn’t exactly what we thought it was. We did that. Together. I don’t want to lose that by having Jacob move to the dark side.” He immediately looked at Zac and reached out to him. “No offense.”

“None taken.”

“But he’s already on the dark side.” Paul quickly mimicked Ant’s action toward Zac. “Again, no offense.”

“Okay, now I’m not so sure,” Zac pondered.

And yet, these idiots, whom I love dearly, didn’t think they might be offending me.

“That’s fucking selfish, Ant,” Arsen said.

“I know,” Ant admitted plainly. “I don’t care.”

“We shouldn’t be making this about us,” Arsen continued. “This is about Jacob.”

“Who’s still here, by the way,” I interjected while waving my hand.

“Yeah, hi,” Arsen said, waving back at me, but then went back to arguing with Ant. “I’m saying it’s unfair for us to add even more pressure on Jacob. This is a monumental decision, like literally life-changing, and I don’t think we should be part of that equation.”

“You’re saying you’re fine with Jacob walking into The Great Mother’s one way and coming out a completely different person?”

“No, I never said that.”

“Exactly. Because you’re not saying what you’re actually feeling. Jacob doesn’t need us walking on eggshells around him. I’m sure he wanted to hear our honest opinions, and those are mine. Right or wrong. If that makes me an asshole, so be it. We’re part of his life, and he’s part of ours. That makes us part of the equation. If you can’t man up and be honest with him about your feelings, that’s on you.”

“Fuck you!” Arsen growled, reaching over CJ to smack Ant behind the head. “Don’t try and tell me how I’m feeling, you ass! You have no idea what I’m fucking thinking. You’re not The Great Mother. You have no special insight into my mind!”

“Guys, let’s not argue,” I said. “That’s not why I came here.”

“Who’s arguing?” Arsen snapped at me. “I just don’t like being told how I’m feeling.”

“Yeah, definitely not arguing,” Paul laughed. “Look, at the end of the day, it’s not our call. It’s Jacob’s. If he goes through with it because that’s what he feels is best for him, and we lose him in the process, then that’s what was meant to be. Would it suck? Absolutely. But what else can we do but pick up the pieces and move on?”

After a brief respite, Ant said, “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard, and I don’t accept it.”

“It’s not about accepting it or not,” Arsen argued. “It has nothing to do with us. That’s the part you can’t wrap your head around.”

“I’m not losing someone I care about,” Ant shouted, slamming his fist on the table. “Not again!”

Before the weight of that could hit us, everyone’s attention shifted to the loud, obnoxious slurping sound coming from my right. All our heads slowly turned to look at Zac, who was sucking on his straw like the least droplet of juice meant the difference between life and death.

“Yes?” I finally said while snatching the empty glass out from under him. “Do you have something to add to the conversation?”

“Well, far be it from me to stick my nose where it doesn’t belong, but since you asked.” His cheeky smile was equally as insufferable as his tone. “Take Qua’quelle out of it for a minute, okay? I get that this,” he copied Ant by tapping his nails on the table, “whatever this is, is special to you guys, but it seems to me y’all are forgetting a crucial part of the equation, to stick with your metaphor.” He paused for a moment after pointing at Arsen.

“Which is?” I asked.

“I was building up to it,” he replied sarcastically.

“I swear to….”

“Aren’t all of you guys going to get the Gift? I mean, I assume you are at some point, right? What happens, then?” Pressing his finger to my temple, Zac continued. “You won’t have a special little door in your crazy heads to keep them at bay. They will come through, and who’s to say how different y’all will turn out? Jacob here gives up his memories to preserve this,” again he tapped the table, “only to have you guys be the ones to turn on him a year, two years, or ten years down the line. So, in the end, he gave up the history of his lineage for what? I don’t know.” Zac shrugged. “Just something to think about, I guess. Hey, are you going to eat that piece of bacon?”

Arsen shook his head and slid his plate over to Zac, who happily claimed his coveted prize.

That was a conversation-ender.

Even Ant lost the vigor to fiercely argue against the points made. I guess no one was thinking that far ahead. Hell, I certainly wasn’t. The thought that they would one day receive the Light never even entered my mind. Maybe I was too absorbed in my mess to consider that reality. Maybe I purposely pushed it out of my mind to avoid adding another issue to the ever-growing list. Either way, now that it was front and center, it felt like a punch to the gut. The look on their faces told me they shared my sentiment.

I can’t believe we missed the obvious. Though, to be fair, when I thought I was still a regular “Joe Schmo” human, I didn’t sit around contemplating my transformation into a Nave all that often. Sure, the idea popped in here and there, but for the most part, I didn’t sweat it because I assumed it was years away. It wasn’t until the kidnapping and then seeing Steve get “killed” that I was tired of feeling helpless….and scared. But for those events, I wouldn’t have asked Q for his Light. Not so soon, anyway.

I yearned for a typical college experience with my friends. Boy, did that plan go flying out the window!

Still, what freaked me out the most, was how CJ added nothing to the conversation. I was sure he would be the first to throw his hat in the ring to make his feelings known, but he said nothing aside from the one question. If nothing else, it was obvious we were heading into the End Times, and his muted behavior was one of the signs of the apocalypse. It had to be.

It’s not like he wasn’t paying attention or seemingly didn’t care. Not at all. It was apparent that he was listening closely to my every word, doubly so, when the other three started arguing. He would nod slightly or raise a brow, shift his eyes upwards in thoughtful contemplation, indicating that the wheels in that mysterious mind of his were spinning. What his conclusion was, if he even reached one, I couldn’t say.

The table was eerily silent, except for Zac chomping down on his crispy bacon. I think it was safe to say we were all trapped in that future moment when they received the Light. What would the minute after that look like? Who would they be? And….who would I be to them?

“So….college life, am I right?” Zac said, pulling us free from the haze in our minds.

“Totally, Little Dude.”

“Um….yeah,” Arsen added eloquently, “what college or university do you want to attend?”

“Oh, that’s easy. KU,” Zac stated confidently.

“Oh really?” Ant question. “You sound mighty sure of yourself, considering you’re still some years away from making a decision. You don’t think you might change your mind down the road?”

“Not a chance!”

“Okay, cool, but why KU?” Paul inquired, leaning forward as if expecting Zac to reveal some big secret. “You seem very determined, so something tells me there is something more to it.”

“Oh, that’s simple,” Zac smirked and looked up at me briefly. “I know it’s a good school, but it would also drive someone very close to me crazy. The idea of that tickles my fancy.”

Zac and I laughed, but for obvious reasons, the joke was lost on everyone else.

Luckily, that snowballed into a completely new conversation, and I was happy to leave my personal issues in the rearview. The guys were great and dove right into the college experience. Despite, as Ant said, being a few years away from having to attend university, they told him what classes he should take, which to avoid, what professors were a pain in the ass, and what clubs and activities he could get involved in—the whole nine. You would’ve thought Zac was starting next semester, the way they went on and on. They seemed to like him, which wasn’t hard to believe because the kid has a bubbly personality with a genuine sincerity that pulls you into his orbit. For the most part, I sat back and watched him shine.

At one point, CJ commented, “And you should pledge The Brotherhood, Little Dude. You’ll love it. Don’t get me wrong, some of the guys can be a little scary….others very scary….especially a certain someone who shall remain nameless. The process is intense, but I think….” His words trailed off as he noticed all the stares coming his way. “What, dudes? Do I have food on my face or something?”

We all laughed at his silly ass, and I’m still unsure if he understood what was wrong with that statement.

Over an hour later, we were still sitting around bullshitting. The table had broken up into separate conversations. I was more engaged with Arsen and Ant while CJ, Paul, and Zac did their own thing. The heated argument between Arsen and Ant? Like it never happened. They went back to being the same old goofballs. That’s what made us special. We fight, slap each other around, and take an unaware Arsen to the Men’s Boutique across the street for a random hookup to get a blowjob, but in the end, it was family. That last bit was something CJ arranged because he thought Arsen was stressed out and needed to blow off some steam – all kinds of puns intended. It was a story he shared when Zac went to the bathroom. We were still laughing our asses off when Zac returned, who was eager to hear what was so funny.

“Nothing for your ears, Little Dude,” CJ winked.

“Ah, perverted sex stuff,” Zac nodded knowingly. “Got it.”

“Hey, not perverted!” CJ protested.

“Anyway, moving on,” I interjected, seeing an opening to bring up something weighing on my mind. “So, Troy isn’t going to come around, is he?”

“Nah, it’s not like that, Jay,” Arsen insisted.

“Yeah, he was just busy with….” In a panic, Paul looked at Ant, who looked at CJ.

“….With homework,” CJ said.

I laughed at their sad attempts to cover for him. “It’s okay, guys; you don’t have to make excuses. It’s fine. I would just like to know what his deal is, you know?”

Leaning into me, Zac whispered, “Who’s Troy?”

“A butthead!” CJ declared.

I added a little more context. “Otherwise known as one of the guys we pledged with that made it through to the end with us.”

“And he’s not here today, so I take it this Troy guy has an issue with you being Skai,” Zac surmised.

“Looks like.”

“Jay, it’s not….”

“Arsen, please, don’t make….”

“The dude doesn’t think we should be hanging out with the enemy,” CJ blurted out, throwing his hands up.

“So, I’m the enemy?”

“Well….you kinda are, right?” Zac offered sarcastically.

“Be quiet, you.” I playfully rubbed his face and pushed him away. “So that’s it then?”

“Troy thinks we should let go of our attachments before things get messy,” Paul added, gesturing between us. “You know, considering you’re Skai….and we’re Nave.”

“Well, technically, you’re not Nave; you’re part of The Brotherhood,” Zac corrected, forcing me to cover his face again to shut him up. “Facts matter!” he mumbled through my hand.

“It’s cool. I get it.”

“Just give him more time, Jay,” Arsen pleaded on Troy’s behalf.

“Nah, I’m good,” I responded dismissively. “I don’t hate him or anything. I get it; believe me, he’s not the only one who shares that sentiment. I just wanted to understand why and now I do. So, we can both move on now.”

Arsen looked at me like he was disappointed. All I could do was shrug. I don’t know what else he wanted from me.

“Q’s here,” Ant announced as he pointed over my head.

“What? Where?” I looked over my shoulder and saw the black SUV pull up in front of the diner. My phone went off a moment later with a text from Q.

“Well, damn, I guess our ride is here. Sorry guys, I didn’t mean to end our time on such a downer, “ I offered with a laugh.

“We’re good,” Arsen assured me.

I put my credit card down, and Arsen threw it back at me.

“Don’t even think about it, Sparky. I got this.”

“Nah, it’s on me. I invited you guys here.”

“Yeah, because we wanted to know what was up,” Arsen said while placing his card down.

I pushed it away.

As you can imagine, this started a back-and-forth between us that lasted several minutes until Ant chimed in.

“Are you guys really making Q wait? Is that really happening right now?” He looked at us, bemused, while rubbing his chin. “Are you guys fucking insane?”

“Should we go?” Zac asked, pointing back over his shoulders. “I already took care of the bill.”

“Zac! Why did you do that?” I admonished.

“Little Dude!” CJ shouted and proceeded to crawl over Ant and Arsen to hug Zac. “You didn’t have to do that. Here, let me get you back.”

Suddenly, everyone was reaching for their wallets.

“No, guys, please don’t. It was my pleasure.”

“Zac, you shouldn’t have paid for us,” I said sternly, shaking my head in disappointment. I didn’t like the idea of him spending his money on five grown-ass men who can pay their own way.

“Why?” Zac shrugged. “It’s Sunny’s card anyway.”

“Oh….then, never mind, guys. Put your wallets away. We’re good.”

“Are you sure?” Arsen asked.

“One hundred percent!”

The moment I slid out of the booth, I was again assaulted with hugs and well wishes. Zac was also hugged by the guys, which I thought was very sweet. After our hug, they headed out of the diner one by one, but I quickly grabbed CJ before he could walk away from me.

“Sup, dude?”

“Is everything okay?” I asked.

“For sure, dude. Why? Did I do something wrong?”

“No, not quite. It’s more of what you didn’t do.”

“I don’t get it.”

“Before, you didn’t say anything when I told you guys, you know….”

A warm smile slowly stretched across his face as he wrapped his arms around me more intimately than before. “I love you no matter what.” His breath tickled my ear while his words swelled my heart.

I held him tighter than ever and didn’t want to let him go.

CJ quickly changed my mind when he slapped my ass hard. “Now, get going, and don’t keep your man waiting.”

Pushing him toward the exit, I shook my head. “You’re impossible.”

“When do I get to slap your butt?” Zac teased, walking up behind him.

“Never. Not even in your dreams.”

He giggled impishly.

The gang was gathered in a semicircle next to the SUV, and as I stepped out, the passenger side window was rolled down, revealing Soullen. The guys immediately stood up straight and bowed slightly, which surprised me.

“My Prince,” they said in unison.

They learned the truth of Soullen’s situation and were now singing a different tune. It was humorous to watch.

“Hello,” Soullen replied warmly. “But as I have said, there is no need for the formality.”

“Yeah….but Q’s right there, so we’ll stick to protocol,” Paul contended.

“Jacob!” Soullen exclaimed as I walked up to the window. His eyes narrowed suddenly while he looked me over as if silently accusing me of some horrid crime. “Are you not going to bow before me?”

“Ha!” I threw my head back in exaggerated laughter and then instantly became serious. “That’s not going to happen. Ever.”

He tried to contain himself, but Soullen’s smile betrayed his intentions. “I am so relieved to see you well.” At his point, he was beaming ear to ear. “I was concerned for your well-being, but Qua’quelle would not allow me to see you. I was upset with him, but not anymore. Did you get my written correspondence?”

“Correspondence? What are you ninety?”

“Ninety?” He looked at Q briefly. “I do not understand.”

“If you mean the note you wrote me, I got it. It was very nice of you. Thank you.”

“You are welcome.”

“Now, get your little ass in the back seat,” I demanded to Soullen while pointing to the back of the SUV.

“Why would I do that?” he asked.

“Because you’re a kid, and kids ride in the back.”

“I am not!” he protested. “Besides, I called the shotgun.”

“What?” Baffled, I shook my head and looked past Soullen at Q, who was looking out his windows while covering his mouth. That f’er was using every ounce of his willpower to refrain from busting out laughing. He had an image to maintain, after all. “What are you talking about?”

“The shotgun,” Soullen reiterated. “Qua’quelle told me whoever calls the shotgun gets to ride in the front of the vehicle. It is a human ritual. I am surprised you are not familiar with it. Is that not correct, Qua’quelle?”

“Um….” Q coughed into his fist, trying desperately to maintain his composure. “Yes, that’s correct. But it’s just shotgun, Soullen. There’s no need to add ‘the’ to it. Also, you typically want to call shotgun while everyone who’s going to be in the vehicle is within earshot, not three hours prior.”

“Well,” Soullen shrugged. “You failed to mention that rule to me.”

“It’s kind of obvious, don’t you think?” I asked.

“No. For that reason alone, I do not think I should move. You can sit in the back.”

“Fine by me,” I said dismissively while stepping to the side. “I’ll just sit in the back with him.”

Soullen’s eyes nearly fell out of their sockets when he saw Zac standing there, saying his final goodbyes to the guys. I can’t stress how quickly he undid his seatbelt and jumped through the two seats to get to the back, nearly kicking Q in the face in the process.

“That’s what I thought.” I stuck my head in the window to address Q while watching Soullen scramble to pull himself together. “I hope you don’t mind that I brought my little brother.”

“Not at all.”

“Are you okay back there, buddy?”

Clipping his seatbelt on, he smoothed his shirt and adjusted his hair. “I don’t know what you mean. I am perfectly fine.”

“Uh huh….sure you are.” Before jumping into the SUV, I waved at my friends for the last time. “Zac, let’s go before I leave your butt behind.”

“Go for it, dude,” CJ joked. “We’ll look after him. Now that you have my number, Little Dude, text me if you need anything. Like dating tips, where to find the hotties, hookup advice….”

“He’s fifteen, you pervert!” I shouted.

“So? I was thirteen when I….”

“Nobody wants to hear about your screwed-up past, CJ,” Arsen interrupted, pushing CJ away from the SUV. “Text me later, Jacob. Don’t make me hunt you down and beat your ass.”

“Oh, is that a promise?”

“Q’s right there!” Arsen snarled. “He’s right there!”

I laughed.

Once Zac was settled and safely bucked in, Q took off like a madman.

“Hi,” Zac said timidly.

Soullen nodded a couple of times before saying, “Hello….”

Then, the two proceeded to lean against their doors and stare out the window. Five minutes later, you could still hear a pin drop. I could see Zac in the side mirror staring off into space but occasionally sneaking a peak at Soullen when he was sure he wasn’t looking. I caught Soullen doing the same thing.

Was I ever this young and dumb?

Using the steering wheel controls, Q turned on the music. I quickly leaned over, shut it off, and gave him a dirty look that confused him. I didn’t want them to have another reason not to talk to each other. I gestured toward the back with a nod several times, signaling to him to start up a conversation, but he wasn’t getting it. He just looked at me like I had just developed some crazy tick.

“My god, how are you the leader of anything?” I said under my breath.

Whatever. I would get things going.

“So, Zac,” Q said just as I was about to speak, “are you from the area? Connecticut, I mean.”

Q was fucking with me.

“Um….no, not really,” Zac said nervously, clearing his throat after his voice cracked.

Adorable.

“I was born in Alabama.”

“Really?” Q question. “I don’t hear a southern accent.”

“You mean this one right here?” Zac’s voice suddenly had a heavy southern drawl.

It freaked me out. “What the fuck?” I exclaimed.

“I didn’t grow up exclusively in Bama,” Zac continued before dropping the accent altogether.

Soullen turned his attention to Zac and listened intently.

“We moved around a lot for my dad’s job. Let’s see….when I was one, we moved to Chicago for about five years; then, we lived in Colorado for a while before my parents got a divorce. When I was nine, we returned to Bama to move in with my stepdad. I left when I was fourteen and ended up here.”

“On your own?” Q asked, looking at him through the review mirror.

“Yep.”

“Why did you leave your home?” Soullen finally chimed in.

“Actually, I was kicked out,” Zac shrugged.

“I do not understand,” Soullen said, looking at me for clarification.

“They didn’t want me in the house anymore, so they told me to leave.”

“But….but I do not understand,” Soullen repeated. “They are your parents. Why would they ask you to leave your home?”

“Well, they found out I was gay.”

“Gay….” Soullen said, sitting with the word for a moment. “That’s when two men love each other.”

“Or women,” Zac added, “but yeah.”

“Why would that be a problem? Among our people, we can only love men. It is a beautiful thing.”

“That may be the case for your people, but it’s not the same for humans,” Zac said. “At least not all humans. Me liking boys didn’t conform with their sense of morality, so they kicked me out until I found God.”

“They sent you on a mission to find a Naveyk? But we do not even know where to find him. How could they expect you to find him?”

Q couldn’t help but smile. “That’s not what he meant, Soullen. Throughout history, especially after the rise of certain religious beliefs, same-sex attraction was viewed as immoral and indecent, with no place in a civilized society. It had to be eradicated. Thousands throughout history were persecuted – some were imprisoned, many more were killed.”

I jumped in to offer a more modern take on our struggles, highlighting much of the discrimination we still face today and celebrating many of the victories the community secured along the way. Zac also added his two cents, proclaiming how happy he was being a “fierce twink.”

“What is a twink?” Soullen asked.

The three of us lost it while Soullen looked on, confused.

For the next ten minutes, Zac explained the difference between twink, twunk, otter, bear, daddy, and a few other categories I never even heard of before. I felt old all of a sudden. And yeah, I’m technically tens of millions of years old, but that’s beside the point.

The conversation eventually swung back around to Zac.

“You are saying your parents removed you from your home because of who you love?” Soullen asked.

“Basically, yeah.”

“But that’s unacceptable. Your family is supposed to love you unconditionally. There are no stronger bonds than family or brotherhood. Is that not correct, Qua’quelle?”

“You’re absolutely right, buddy,” Q nodded, catching his gaze in the mirror. “But unfortunately, it doesn’t always work out that way for humans. They are not like us. Their bonds are superficial, whereas ours runs through the very fabric of what makes us El’odian. They will never know what it’s like to be truly connected to another being. To feel what they feel. To live what they’ve lived.”

“Well, I wouldn’t go that far,” I interjected. “Humans know love.”

“I never said they didn’t,” Q countered. “They love, of course, but not like us. Never like us.”

“I get it, but I think you’re being a little harsh,” I said. “Maybe a little bias.”

“Am I?” Q nodded thoughtfully and then pointed at Zac over his shoulder. “This boy, would you protect him if he was in danger?”

“Of course!”

Again, he nodded slowly. “Would you kill to keep him safe?”

“Yes.” I didn’t even think about it. It just came out naturally.

“Can you see a situation where you’d give up your life for his if there were no other choice?”

“Yes.”

“All this for a boy who’s not even Skai yet. A boy you’ve known for what? A day? What human would do the same?”

Grabbing the back of my headrest, Zac pulled himself forward to look at Q. “To be fair, he’s known me longer than a day by now, and I really am amazing. You’ll see.”

Q smirked.

As I pushed Zac’s face away from us, Soullen lurched forward and stuck his head between the seats.

“I find this unacceptable,” Soullen declared. “His parents must be hunted down and destroyed!”

“Okay, that escalated,” I mumbled.

Zac quickly grabbed Soullen by the shoulders and pulled him back to his seat. “It’s okay,” he assured him with a nervous laugh. “No one needs to die on my behalf.”

“Are you sure?”

“Very,” Zac said, patting Soullen’s hand and letting it linger there for a bit before pulling it away. “My parents don’t want me. It’s fine. Thanks to all my overprotective brothers and my time with The Great Mother, I've come to terms with that. I’m happy now. Really.”

“It makes me happy that you are happy,” Soullen said. “But you will let me know if you change your mind, yes?” He was as serious as a heart attack.

“I promise,” Zac assured him, placing his hand on Soullen’s knee to gently squeeze it.

Soullen’s eyes went all cartoony again before replying with a “thank you.” He copied Zac’s gesture and squeezed his knee. Their eyes locked briefly before they pulled their hands away like they were on fire. They went back to their respective corners to stare out the window.

The second-hand embarrassment was off the charts for me. And yet, I can’t deny that their every gesture and glance tugged at my heartstrings. They looked so cute trying to figure each other out that it almost made me want to hurl. Seriously, was I ever this young and dumb?

The uncomfortable silence crept in again, but only momentarily because Soullen couldn’t help himself.

“I have a question,” Soullen stated.

“Yes?” Q said.

“Does that make me a twink?”

The silence was shattered with uncontrollable laughter.