The Brotherhood: Awakening Book II - 9. Chapter 9

The Brotherhood: Awakening

Chapter IX

By X

 

 

My first class was a complete blur. If someone told me I did a strip tease in the middle of the professor’s lecture, I’d never be able to deny it. Concerning myself with trivial things like “learning” wasn’t even on my radar. I had more important things to worry about, like if the Brothers had seen me roaming the campus. Trust me, I was checking. My head was on a permanent swivel, looking for familiar faces down each sidewalk and around every corner. I didn’t see anyone. I have no idea if they saw me, but I imagine they were aware of my presence, even without the visual confirmation. I mean, they had to, right?

My second class was hazy as the first. The professor called on me twice. I heard my name both times, but thru the filter of my distraction, it registered as a distant echo more than anything else. It wasn’t until the girl to my left nudged me with her elbow that my attention returned to the room. She told me I was pissing off the professor. This particular professor was a hard ass who had a reputation for embarrassing students for not participating in class. And while I failed to respond to him twice, he never pressed the issue with me. I could only imagine that he, like many others, still believed I was a member of The Brotherhood and didn’t want to cross any lines.

I smiled and thanked her for the heads up, but I didn’t care.

I was deep in the throes of dreading my third class. It was physics, and I shared it with CJ. The thought of seeing him had my anxiety through the roof. What do I say to him? How do I even broach the subject of the night the shit went down? Would he even see me as Jacob anymore, or was I just the enemy now? My mind and heart raced. This was a mistake.

I wanted to leave. Leave the classroom. Leave the campus. Leave my fear.

But I didn’t want to leave CJ. Or the Brothers.

Or…Q.

And that’s why, with my flight mode fully engaged, I made it a point to stay.

To my professor’s ire and the less-than-subtle annoyance of the girl next to me, I left class early. I wanted to get to the physics lecture hall before anyone else, and luckily, I did. Seats were auditorium style and not assigned, but as is the cultural norm, most of us sat in the same seat we’d claimed on day one. I continued the tradition and sat in the fifth seat over, two rows from the back. My backpack fit neatly between my feet. I never opened it; instead, I stared at the door and the large metal clock hanging above it. With each click of the minute hand, I felt my breaths get shallower, and the firing squad get closer. My right leg bounced uncontrollably.

I was trying not to hyperventilate when, ten minutes later, the first student walked in. My heart skipped, but I didn’t recognize him. The sigh of relief I let out was so loud that the guy actually looked at me. I faked a cough to cover, but it was lame.

Shortly after that, a steady stream of undergraduates, who clearly dreaded the next hour, entered the auditorium and took their seats. I kept my head down, pretending to look at my phone to appear casual. In reality, I was meticulously scanning each face.

As the last few people trickled in, I figured CJ was a no-show. Relief and disappointment washed over me at the same time. There was another mixed feeling that I couldn’t describe, but the knot in my throat told me it involved sadness. I stopped looking at the door and opened my backpack.

That’s when I heard it. CJ’s laugh.

I looked up and froze.

He sauntered in behind the professor. Clad in a simple red t-shirt, black joggers, and flip-flops, the boy looked like he had just rolled out of bed, which, knowing CJ, was a distinct possibility. Initially, I thought he was checking messages on his phone, but as he approached, I could see he was laughing and talking on a video call. There was no turning back now; I’d have to deal with whatever may come.

Seeing his big bright smile made me snicker despite myself. And yet, as he walked up the stairs and turned down my aisle, my heart caught in my throat. I swallowed hard, but it didn’t help. CJ was utterly oblivious to my presence. He was too engaged in his conversation to notice me.

“Have you heard any new news?” CJ asked, setting his phone on top of his laptop.

“CJ, why do you keep asking me?” The voice was unmistakable. The mere sound was enough to make me smile. “We live in the same house, and I get the same news you do. How would I have more information than anyone else?”

Arsen’s biting tone was amusing and understandable. CJ is skilled in the subject of frustrating questions. I glanced sideways at his phone, trying not to draw attention to myself. Sure enough, Arsen appeared at his wit's end. He also appeared to have big floppy ears and a cute snout. Arsen has a great sense of humor, but it was unlikely he’d appreciate the puppy filter CJ was using on him. The wagging tongue effect damn near caused me to lose it.

“I thought maybe you heard something since the last time we talked.”

“Have you lost your mind?” The puppy filter couldn’t hide Arsen’s bewilderment. “No, I’m seriously asking.”

“What do you mean?”

“We were together five minutes ago, CJ. How could I get new information in that amount of time?”

“I don’t know, dude,” CJ shrugged, hooking his blond hair behind his ears. “Maybe you got a text or something.”

“It’s been five minutes!”

Are they talking about me?

Was it egotistical of me to wonder if their conversation had anything to do with me? I mentally chastised myself for thinking I was the center of their universe but quickly gave myself a pass. What could be more significant than a Skai in their midst? Yeah, they were talking about me. This was a big deal, and to think otherwise was foolish. As the whirlwind of thoughts circled my mind and I argued with myself, they also continued to argue with each other.

“Speaking of losing your mind, do you think it’s a good idea to offer house tours to potential fuck buddies in your profile?’

“Hell yeah, dude!” CJ responded gleefully. “Do you know how many matches I’ve gotten since adding it to my profiles?” Pausing a moment, he cocked his head to the side a little. “Let’s be honest, I wasn’t struggling before, but this speeds things up.”

“Take it down,” Arsen ordered, and CJ laughed. I mean, it was kind of hard to take him seriously when he looked like a cute puppy barking orders.

“But why?”

“What do you mean why? How do you think Shaun, Eric, or any other Brother will react when they discover you’re pimping out the house to get some ass?”

CJ appeared to be seriously contemplating the question, but I knew better. We both did.

“I think they’d congratulate me on my genius plan.”

“Or, and hear me out on this, Q might toss you out the nearest window when he finds out.”

“Yeah….that sounds plausible,” CJ conceded thoughtfully. “He hasn’t been in the best of moods.”

Understandable.

“Ya think? Take it down!”

“Yeah, yeah,” CJ said with a dismissive wave over the phone. “Anyway, dude, I need to get going. Class is about to start, and the professor is giving me the evil eye. Let’s meet up for lunch.”

“That was always the plan. We talked about...never mind. Take it down!”

“I will!” CJ shouted and ended the call.

All eyes turned to look at CJ for a moment, but he remained oblivious to the disruption he’d caused. As the professor opened the lecture by focusing on projectile motion, CJ focused on his phone. He scrolled thru several dating apps and presumably removed the part about the house tour. After checking out different profiles and matching with half a dozen guys, he put his phone aside and opened up his laptop.

I did the same. When my screen powered on, CJ realized for the first time that someone was sitting next to him. What happened next was something straight out of a comedy sketch. We slowly turned to face each other, made eye contact, and then slowly turned away. Neither of us said a word. Now it was CJ who sat frozen. For fifty-five minutes, he sat like a statue, facing forward. If he blinked, I didn’t see it.

I desperately wanted to say something to him, but his reaction took the wind out of my sails. Was I so terrifying that he couldn’t even look at me? Was he scared stiff because he was sitting next to an enemy? I wanted to put his mind at ease, but the words would not come. I was worried that if I attempted to talk or reassure him in any way, he might have a breakdown and cause a scene. Not exactly the outcome I wanted, so I sat there as much like a statue as him.

Those fifty-five minutes were the longest of my life. I swear Father Time was fucking with me by slowing down time to prolong this torture. I just wanted this over for both of our sakes. And I got my wish. When class finally ended, CJ grabbed his stuff and bolted. Literally. He ran down the aisle, bumping into several people, almost tripping as he hauled ass down the stairs. The professor even yelled after him as he ran out the door. I hadn’t closed my laptop yet, and he was gone.

All I wanted was for my friend to tell me we were okay.

All I wanted was to feel his brotherly embrace.

All I wanted was to see his smile as he uttered my name.

All I wanted was for my heart not to be broken.

The reality of my situation was apparent. The answer to the question burning in my head since this all happened was clear. There would be no understanding or acceptance. I was the enemy. To say I was devasted would be the understatement of the century. I walked out of the classroom like a zombie without purpose or direction.

After wandering around for a while, ignorant of the goings on around me, I ended up at the cafeteria. It was like being on autopilot. I clearly remembered grabbing a tray, getting in line, paying for my food, and taking a seat at one of the empty tables. But none of it felt like me. I was watching it all happen through someone’s eyes, just going through the motions of what a typical student might do. I looked down at my food – a tasty burger, waffle fries, a fruit bowl, and bottled water. It all looked delicious. I had no intention of eating any of it.

“Jacob!” A voice rang out. “My man!” The owner of this boisterous voice set his tray down and took a seat without hesitation.

“Uh, Nick….” I stammered, shaking my head in shock. “What are you doing here?” He looked at me as if I’d morphed a second head, and I couldn’t blame him. That was a stupid question. “Um, never mind. How are you? It’s been a minute.”

“Yeah, it has,” he said, gesturing over his shoulder. “Why aren’t you sitting with the rest of the guys?”

“Huh?”

I looked over, and there they were, three tables down - Arsen, CJ, Ant, Paul, and Troy - having lunch together.

Fuck. My. Life.

I hadn’t noticed them before. In fact, I hadn’t noticed anything before. I would never have entered the cafeteria if I had known they were inside. I was right. This whole endeavor was a colossal mistake. To make matters worse, Ant and I made eye contact for a split second before he looked down at his tray. I wanted to disappear into the darkest hole and be forgotten.

“Jacob!” Nick called out loudly as he snapped his fingers in my face. “Are you okay, man.?”

“Yeah….sorry, I’m fine.”

“You don’t look fine to me.”

“I’m good. Really.”

After a moment of silence, Nick repeated his question. “So, why aren’t you sitting with the other guys?”

I paused for a minute, watching him bite into a slice of pizza.

“I’m….I’m no longer a Brother.” It was one thing to let randoms think I was still a member of The Brotherhood; it was something else entirely to lie to my former pledge mate.

“Get the fuck out of here,” he laughed and waved me off.

“I’m serious, Nick. I’m not.”

“Get the fuck out of…” he started again, stopped. I think my “I’m not fucking around” look finally convinced him. “No shit. For real?”

I nodded and pushed my tray forward a bit.

“You were a Brother when I saw you a few days ago.”

I shrugged.

“But how?” he asked. “Isn’t their whole thing like being in the mafia? Once you’re in, you’re in for life.”

“Well, they had to make an exception in my case,” I assured him.

“I thought that was the point – for life, no exceptions.”

“Let’s just say extenuating circumstances….circumstances even The Brotherhood could not have predicted…came up in my personal life, and they gave me a get out of jail free card.”

Nick’s ears instantly perked up. He leaned in, anticipating a flood of juicy details.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Fair enough,” he said, his dimples disappearing as he sat back in his chair. You would’ve thought I let the air out of his muscular frame by the way he sat there looking disappointed.

“Hey, Jacob!” Another familiar voice called out to me from behind before circling the table and planting himself next to Nick. “Why aren’t you sitting with the other guys?”

Oh, for fuck’s sake! Kill me now!

Before I could answer, Sam yelled out to my former crew. “CJ! What’s good, my guy?!”

CJ gave Sam a simple nod, barely turning his head in our direction.

“Yikes, what was that about?” Sam pondered. “They must be discussing something super-secret and shit. Anyway, why are you here and not there?”

“He’s not a Brother anymore.”

“Get the fuck out of here,” Sam laughed while eating some of his fries.

I rolled my eyes and silently prayed for a quick death. “He’s right. I’m not.”

“Get the fuck….”

“Oh my god, I’m not doing this again!”

“Babe, chill,” Nick said softly and patted Sam’s hand. “It’s for real. Let’s drop it.”

Wait…

“Babe?” I said, looking between them. “Are you two a….”

“No!” Nick answered just as Sam replied, “Yes!”

“Interesting. I see therapy in your future.” I snickered.

Sam leaned forward and started talking to me as if Nick wasn’t there. “He doesn’t want to put a label on it.” He rolled his eyes and stuck out his tongue. “But it’s low-key official.”

Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I saw CJ jump out of his chair and turn in our direction. He took a single step before Arsen grabbed his wrist and pulled him back to his chair. Arsen never turned around. Whether he was coming for me or had business with Sam and Nick, I couldn’t say. But for a moment after, their table seemed unsettled. If I had to guess, I was the cause of the disruption. I admit I was tempted to focus my hearing to see if I could pick up what they were saying. A pretty shitty thing to do, but could anyone blame me? Ultimately, I decided against it because of my inability to control my powers. I was afraid I might accidentally harm one of them in the attempt.

“So, when did you two become a thing?’ I pried, trying my hardest to ignore what was going on at their table. “If I’m being honest, I never thought you two were into each other, let alone end up as a couple.”

“Are you kidding?” Sam said, leaning into me with wide eyes and a grin. “There was a lot of fucking going on in that house when the lights went out. It’s not all that surprising that some of us ended up together. Especially after the little pill incident.”

“Are you serious?”

Sam gave me a skeptical side-eye. “I can’t tell if you’re for real or just messing with us.”

“I promise you I’m genuinely surprised. Shocked, actually.”

After looking at Sam in bewilderment, Nick turned to me and leaned in closer as if he were about to reveal a great mystery. “Are you saying you and Arsen never….”

“No!” I cut him off before he could even finish his sentence. “God, no!”

Sam laughed. “Why do you say it like that? Arsen is hot.”

“I know he is, but I think of him more like a brother than anything else. And not just in the fraternity sort of way; I mean like a brother, brother.” In that instant, everything Arsen and I went through together started playing in my mind like a movie reel. In those few seconds, I relived all our great times as well as our awkward ones. “Sure, there were moments that required us to help each other out. You know, because of the circumstances we were all in, but straight banging? That never happened.”

“Yeah, sure,” Sam nodded, “we all formed a brotherly bond, especially after being dismissed, but hey, no blood, no incest.”

“Babe, that’s gross!” Scrunching his face, Nick shook his head.

“What? It’s true, thankfully. Otherwise, this would be very weird.” Sam faced Nick and poked him in the cheek with his pinky finger. “Besides, you’re just bitter about being wrong.”

Nick’s face reddened as Sam’s grin grew wider. I looked at both of them, but where Sam had no issues looking me in the eyes, Nick averted my gaze as if a mere glimpse would turn him to stone. Something was afoot…

“Wrong about what exactly?” My eyes drilled into the poor guy despite his every attempt to avoid them. I wasn’t upset, just curious. I figured it would be something dumb and laughable, but I was enjoying torturing him a little. And I hadn’t enjoyed KU much today.

“Nothing,” Nick answered.

“Oh, really?” I pointed at Sam. “The smirk on his face says otherwise. Now spill.”

My so-called intimidating stare wasn’t enough to break him. Luckily, Sam had no issues putting his new boyfriend on blast.

“He swore up and down you were the bottom in that pairing,” Sam laughed and gave Nick a few elbow jabs. “Ain’t that right?”

“What?” I exclaimed, much louder than I intended.

Nick just shook his head in embarrassment.

“‘Power bottom’ were his exact words If I remember correctly,” Sam mused.

“What made you think I would be the bottom in that relationship, Nick?”

He didn’t answer, but as before, Sam was more than willing to fill in the blanks.

“It was your ass,” he said matter-of-factly.

“My ass?”

“Yeah, your ass.”

“What about my ass?”

“He said it was very fuckable, and he’d love to eat it out for lunch.” Sam leaned in again, despite Nick still being able to hear everything. “Just between us, I’m pretty sure he had a crush on you.”

I cracked up. What else was I supposed to do with this ridiculous conversation? “I don’t know if I should be flattered or what, but….thanks, I guess?”

“Hey, it wasn’t just me,” Nick protested and whacked Sam on the arm.

“True,” Sam conceded with a thoughtful nod. “To be fair, Justin did agree with you.”

“Wouldn’t want to be unfair,” I mocked. “And how does Justin play into this?”

“For the record, though,” Sam grabbed my arm, “I always said you guys probably switched it up, while Jason was a firm believer that you were the top.”

“Jason too? What the fuck? When did you guys come together to figure out this org chart?”

“We get together every weekend and hang out,” Nick answered. The fact that I was laughing through all of this gave him the confidence to look directly at me again. “Think of it as a TBH rejects club of sorts.”

“More like a support group,” Sam corrected. “We sit around and talk about our experiences and what could have been. It can get fucking depressing at times, but coming together has helped us move on.”

“That’s cool,” I said. “Smart, actually.”

I was sincere and hoped they could tell. It never occurred to me that these guys struggled after being dismissed from The Brotherhood. I often saw them around campus and chatted them up whenever the opportunity presented itself, but those conversations were surface-level. I didn’t bother to probe too deeply. I assumed they returned to their everyday lives, and that was that. But, of course, they struggled. Anyone would. Missing out on one of life's most significant opportunities has the power to mess with you. I never bothered to consider that. None of us did, which is why I was glad they still had each other.

“Wait a minute, are Jason and Justin a thing too?” I asked.

“More like friends with benefits,” Nick replied.

“Especially when we all get together,” Sam added nonchalantly.

“Seriously, I don’t think Jacob wants to hear all that!”

“Whoa!” I laughed. “Are you for real? But I thought you two were….”

“We don’t mind keeping it in the reject family.”

“Babe, seriously!” An exasperated Nick buried his face in his hands. “This is so embarrassing!”

“What do you mean?” Sam demanded. “We’ve all seen each other at our worst. Let’s not forget we’ve wiped each other’s asses in front of everyone, so talking about our weekend foursomes pales in comparison.”

“He has a point, Nick,” I laughed. “But man, you’ve changed a lot, Sam.”

“How so?”

“I don’t know, man, but when we were pledging, you weren’t this….” I twirled my fingers in the air, trying to find the right word. “You weren’t so….”

“Outspoken? Blunt? In your face?”

“All of the above.”

“Yeah, I know,” Sam acknowledged. “I was a little bitch.”

“Whoa! I never said that.” I raised my hands in protest because that’s not what I was thinking at all….okay, maybe a little, but I didn’t want to infer that.

“Relax, I know you didn’t. I’m saying it.” He took a few bites of his food before he continued. “Once we got kicked out and formed our little rehab group, we learned a lot about ourselves. I’m not just talking about our favorite positions. I mean, we did a deep dive into our time pledging. We broke down every little thing we did or could have done differently, and one of my realizations was….” He paused for dramatic flair. “I was a little bitch!”

“Stop….” Nick said warmly as he lovingly rubbed the back of Sam’s neck.

“It’s true, though,” Sam shrugged unapologetically. “I wasn’t a leader like you or Arsen or Mike. I wasn’t even the life of the party like CJ. I was happy to stay in the background, stay quiet and follow along with whatever you guys decided. I never really added my two cents, and I was shut down on the rare occasion that I did. It’s fine, but I never fought for my position. And that’s not Brotherhood material if we’re being honest.”

“I think you’re being a little hard on yourself,” I insisted, and I could tell Nick appreciated my comment. “It’s not easy to assert yourself in a group like ours. There are a lot of big personalities and egos. You called me a leader, but hell, half the time, I was terrified I was making the wrong call.”

“Maybe,” Sam said, “but you still spoke up. I never did. And hey, it is what it is. There’s no going back, but I’ve learned from my experience. No more sitting in the back, hoping I go unnoticed. No more being afraid to say what’s on my mind. My new mantra is ‘fuck it!’”

“Hey man, good for you.”

I was so engrossed in our conversation, as ridiculous as it was at times, that I never noticed Arsen and the rest of the gang leave. I casually looked over, and they were gone. I was thankful Sam and Nick sat with me. It was the distraction I needed and made it less awkward to be sitting tables apart from my former Brothers. And yet, I couldn’t help but wonder if their presence prevented something from happening…even if I didn’t know what. Did I want them to wave me over? Maybe. Would I have been happy to see them get up and sit with us? Sure. There was plenty of room, after all. But none of that happened. They were gone without so much as a glance or whisper. Did It reinforce my belief that whatever we were as a group was over? Definitely.

“Speaking of which,” Sam said, pulling my attention away from the empty table. “Now that you’re mysteriously no longer a member of The Brotherhood, you should come to hang with the outcasts sometime.”

“Yeah, you should!” Nick sounded a little too excited at the prospect of me hanging out with their little group, and his enthusiasm was not lost on Sam.

“Calm down and get your head out of the gutter,” Sam snickered. “That’s not what I meant. Though, clearly, you were having ideas of your own.” After bursting Nick’s bubble, he looked at me and rolled his eyes. “I meant legit hangout.”

“For sure, that sounds great.” Despite agreeing, I didn’t mean it. Not because I wouldn’t enjoy spending time with my former pledge mates but because there was one inescapable truth. If I showed up to one of their get-togethers, I’d be dodging questions about why I left The Brotherhood the whole time, and I didn’t want to deal with it. I didn’t want to be pressed on hanging out, and I certainly didn’t want them to nail down a time and place, so I quickly changed the subject. “There’s still one thing I don’t understand about you guys.”

“What’s that?” Nick asked with a mouth full of pizza.

“You said all the banging happening in the house caused you to pair up. But you weren’t roommates. Troy was paired with Nick, and you were with Kevin.”

“I never said we became a couple at the house, just that there was a lot of fucking going on,” Sam stated with a smirk.

“So, you’re saying all you guys were….”

“Like rabbits,” Sam laughed. “I didn’t get with Nick until after we were dismissed, and we formed our own little brotherhood.”

“We did hook up at the party, though,” Nick added.

“I’m not talking about hooking up,” Sam corrected him. “I’m talking about officially dating. That came after. This is all still very new to us.” Resting his chin on the palm of his hand, Sam looked off into the distance at nothing in particular as he pondered his next thought. “I wonder if The Brotherhood knows they’re churning out a bunch of homos.” His dark brown eyes shifted from side to side as if looking for a landing spot. Eventually, they landed on me. “Because let me tell you, if it wasn’t for my time pledging, I doubt I’d ever look at guys the way I do now. You know what I mean?”

“I feel you, trust me,” I said with a knowing smile. “I’m pretty sure The Brotherhood knows exactly what they’re doing.”

“Still, who knows if this will even work, right? I’m keeping my options open just in case.”

“Hey, don’t put that out in the universe!” Nick protested.

“I’m just staying,” Sam said innocently. I could tell he was only kidding, but Nick didn’t find Sam’s teasing humorous, which only made it funnier. “What chances do a Japanese kid and redheaded muscle jock from the homophobic south really have?”

“HEY!” Nick’s protest got a little more passionate. “Not everyone in the south is homophobic.”

“You’re right; that’s not fair,” Sam conceded. “I was really talking about your family.”

“Shots fired,” I said, my eyes shifting to the empty table for a moment.

“My family is not homophobic!” Nick insisted.

“Oh really? What did your brother call me when you told him about me?” When Nick refused to answer, Sam looked at me with a raised brow. “I’ll give you a hint. It starts with an ‘F’ and rhythms with ‘hag.’”

“Okay, my brother’s an idiot, but I already apologized over and….”

“I’m just fucking with you, babe,” Sam laughed.

Nick glared back at him. I could almost see the steam coming out of his ears. Sam blew him a kiss, which didn’t do much to appease Nick, so he leaned in and planted one on his cheek. That seemed to do the trick for the time being. He might catch hell later for airing their dirty laundry. Such is love, I guess.

“What about you, Jacob?” Nick asked and then pointed at my tray. “Are you going to eat any of that?”

Shaking my head, I pushed the tray closer to him. “Be my guest,” I insisted. “And what about me?”

“Oh, don’t play coy with us,” Sam said. “Word on the street is you and the mysterious Q are a thing.”

“Oh yeah? Who told you that?”

I was playing dumb. Of course, they would know. I’m sure the news of Q waiting to take me to lunch after class had spread like wildfire. I wouldn’t be surprised if it were printed on the school news website.

“Really?” Sam sneered.

I laughed. “Yeah, it’s complicated.”

“It always is, my friend,” Sam nodded and sneakily pointed at Nick before mouthing the words “homophobic family.”

“I can see your lips moving.” Nick grabbed Sam and playfully shook him. “You’re not funny!”

“Okay, okay, you win. Stop shaking me, or you’ll be wearing my lunch in a minute.”

I laughed at their antics, but my heart would sink a little every time my eyes drifted to the empty table. I don’t know why I kept looking at it. I wasn’t doing it intentionally, but it kept happening. It’s not like they would magically appear and call me over now, so why I was torturing myself was beyond me.

“So?” Sam said.

I looked at him, confused, and then at Nick to see if he knew what I’d missed. His shrug was of no help.

“So….?” I repeated back to him.

“Come on! What’s it like dating the school's most popular and sought-after guy?”

“Are we in high school?”

“Oh, fuck off and answer the question.”

“It’s like dating anyone else.” Yet, another reason I didn’t want to hang out with their group – the endless questions about Q and our relationship. “How would you answer if someone asked what it’s like to date Nick? He’s just a plain guy. There’s nothing spectacular about him.” Nick snapped his head in my direction.

“No offense.” I don’t think he appreciated my sarcasm. “But seriously, Q is just another guy. There’s nothing special about dating him. It’s not like he’s some ethereal being with god-like powers intent on conquering the planet. That would be ridiculous.”

“Fine, we get it. He’s boring.” Sam rolled his eyes and shook his head with disappointment. “But is he boring in the sack?”

“I’m so not going there,” I laughed and dismissed his question with a wave.

“Oh, come on! I shared with you. Please give me a little something. It’s Q we’re talking about!”

“Exactly….It’s Q….” I said with a deliberately slow nod to give my words a chance to sink in.

“I know. That’s why I want to know.”

Clearly, Sam was not picking up what I was putting down.

“Do you think getting into Q’s business is a good idea?” Again, I paused to let it marinate for a moment. “As you said, it’s Q we’re talking about.”

I could almost see the lightbulb go off over his head as he shared a glance with Nick.

“You’re right,” Sam conceded hastily. “Forget, I asked.”

“Good call,” I smirked.

We continued chatting for another ten or fifteen minutes. The topics were random and not worth mentioning. Sam continued to tease Nick at every opportunity, but Nick took it like a champ while firing back some of his own digs at Sam. As the lunch hour approached its end, I wanted to ask them one last question before we went our separate ways.

“Do you guys regret accepting the invitation to pledge The Brotherhood?

To their credit, they took the question seriously and took the time to formulate an answer. They looked at each other but did not say anything and then stared into the distance as the wheels turned in their heads. They shared one final look and nodded before turning their attention back to me.

“No….no regrets.” Nick was the first to answer. “It sucks that we didn’t get in, but I wouldn’t give up the experience despite the outcome. Knowing what I know now, I’d do it all over again.”

“Even knowing you didn’t make the cut?”

“One hundred percent,” Nick smiled confidently. “What about you, babe?”

“I’m with Nick on this one. It wasn't easy, and at times I questioned my sanity, but in the end, it was worth the ride. I made some amazing friends along the way, and despite not getting in, the Brothers have looked out for me, and I’ll bet anything I’m not the only one.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Well, as you know, I don’t come from money like you fuckers. I’m here on major scholarships and a couple of student loans. I got called into the administration office last week due to an issue with my loans. I had to set up an appointment with my financial aid advisor for the next day. When I met with my advisor, he told me there wasn’t an issue. An anonymous donor paid for my entire tuition. I pressed for more information on this mysterious donor, but they would not disclose it.” Sam cocked his head to the side and grinned knowingly. “Three letters come to mind.”

“That’s awesome!” I said and gave Sam a fist bump.

Sam reached for Nick’s hand and squeezed it tightly. “Besides, without The Brotherhood, I never would’ve met this lug head. That alone made it all worth it.”

“Aww, babe!” Nick beamed.

I simply smiled at them both.

We ended up parting ways with promises of setting up a time to get together. As I said, I had no interest in being part of such a gathering, but that’s not to say I wouldn’t want to see them again in the future. I needed more time to adjust to my new reality and figure out where things stood between me and Q. The last time we saw each other was with an understanding that we would find one another again, but who’s to say that hasn’t changed? It was clear I was an outcast to my group of friends, my brothers, and that could potentially extend to my love. The thought was unbearable, so I couldn’t even begin to prepare myself for that outcome.

After lunch, I attended my last two classes and, oddly enough, was able to focus on them finally. I suspect this was for two reasons. First, neither class included my former crew, so my anxiety wasn’t off the charts. And second, I now knew I was a pariah in their eyes. I’m not saying I wasn’t hurt but knowing where I stood with them made it easier to bury my feelings. You know, because that’s always healthy.

With my last class behind me, I found a nice spot under a giant oak tree with a splattering of dark orange leaves still clinging for dear life. Usually, the grounds would be covered with students sitting on blankets, chairs, or just plain old grass as they studied. But now that the colder weather was taking hold, the pool of students dried up to a sprinkling of brave souls bundled in sweaters and jackets. A few had already broken out their winter scarves.

The peace and quiet were welcomed.

I made a fascinating discovery about myself, or my kind, to be more precise. At first, I didn’t realize it was happening, as it felt as natural as taking a breath. I was speed-reading through my seven-hundred-page bio-chem textbook like deciding what to order off a fast-food menu.

Holy shit!

More importantly, the textbook made sense to me as if I’d been studying this stuff for years. I’m not saying I could teach a doctorate course, but I was about to be the top student in my class.

I sat there for just under an hour before returning to my dorm room. I wanted to pack up some of my things, especially my clothes, and take them back with me. The meeting with Zenial was coming up, and I didn’t want to be late since I planned to drive to The Club so I could leave my car there. With access to the gate, and you know, having wings and powers, I wouldn’t have much need for a car, and I was hesitant to leave it parked at the school for an extended period. You may be wondering why it would even matter to a Skai in the first place. It’s simple. It was a gift from my parents.

Unfortunately, Todd was able to corner me outside of my dorm room again. As before, he spent the whole conversation dropping hints of his desire to join The Brotherhood. Until now, I hadn’t decided whether to move all my stuff to The Club or leave a few incidental items here for convenience. Running into Todd again made that decision a lot easier. I had no interest in becoming his new dorm buddy or being his perceived ticket into The Brotherhood.

As Todd continued to go on and on, I nodded, smiled, and backed away, into my door. I desperately entered the door code behind my back. The sound of it unlocking was music to my ears, and I rushed inside, offering him one last wave and fake smile as I closed the door in his face.

“For fuck’s sake,” I whispered with my eyes closed.

“Your friend seems pleasant.”

“He’s not my...”

What the fuck?!

My eyes snapped open as I raised my hand toward the sound of the voice, ready to unleash a blast of Askyli. I’m not sure if I could even pull it off or if I would end up naked, wearing socks. But I figured I had a fifty-fifty shot.

My uninvited guest stared back at me, his eyes more golden than the caramel hue I remembered. My threatening stance didn’t phase him in the least. And I wondered if I looked the least bit intimidating or if I was standing there looking like an idiot with my outstretched hand.

“Razual, what are you doing here?” I ran to the window in a panic and looked outside. I was half expecting to see an army of Nave flying towards us. “You need to get out of there. Like now!”

“Relax, Jacob, it’s okay,” he assured me; his voice was like a lullaby, comforting and soothing to the senses.

“How can you tell me to relax? And how can you be so calm right now? There’s no telling what might happen if they find out you’re here.”

“They already know I’m here, Jacob. It’s okay.”

“They do? How?” Dumbfounded, I stood there scratching the back of my head and staring at Raz. He sat in my chair with his elbows on the armrest and fingers pressed together, looking like a sexy supervillain. His navy-blue suit had a subtle shimmer that was only noticeable at the right angle and was perfectly tailored to his muscular physique. Undoubtedly his own creation.

“Please,” he smiled and gestured toward CJ’s bed. It was his polite way of telling me to calm the fuck down and sit. “I hope you don’t mind that I let myself in.”

“No, It’s cool.” Who had time to worry about a Skai break-in when I felt we were sitting on a bomb that might go off any minute? I picked up his fedora and handed it to him as I sat down. “What are you doing here?”

“Do you think so little of me as a leader that you believe I’d let you come here without ensuring your safety?”

“No, not at all!” I stood in protest.

“I was kidding, Jacob.” He stood to meet me and grabbed my arms. “I’m sorry. It was a bad joke. Please, have a seat.” His apology was sincere. I could see it in his eyes. Usually, I was all about the jokes and the laughs, but I was on edge. I’m sure he picked up on my apprehension and was trying to lighten the mood with a joke, not realizing it would have the opposite effect. He waited for me to sit again before continuing. “When I realized you were dead set on continuing your studies here, I arranged a meeting with The Brotherhood. I met with them early this morning before you arrived.”

“Who did you meet with?”

“Qua’quelle and his Inner Circle,” he answered before returning to his seat. “I told them one of my people wanted to continue his studies here. Initially, they thought I was referring to a human. After all, such arrangements have been made in the past for our human brothers. But Qua’quelle knew immediately that I was talking about you. He referred to you by name, which I had yet to give.”

I smiled. But on the inside.

“In fact, we never give out names, just a count of how many would like to attend. They either agree, at times to a reduced amount, or they’ll deny the request outright. Admittedly, they have been quite accommodating and haven’t denied requests in over a century. Today was similar. We had a productive discussion, and they agreed to allow you to continue coming here under certain conditions.”

“Such as?”

“Nothing too crazy,” he assured me. “You must abide by the same rules as our human brothers who attend KU. Keep your head down, stay out of trouble, don’t get involved in Nave affairs, and most importantly, stay clear of their house. No Skai has any business being near that house. Especially after the fire. I’m sure you’re aware of that incident.”

I nodded. “So the fire was us?”

“The Sanctum? No.” He paused; his face twisted with annoyance briefly. “Was a Skai responsible? Yes.”

Fucking Kaylec!

Razual never offered a name, but I knew.

“You have to follow certain special conditions as well, Jacob.”

I didn’t like the sound of that. For whatever reason, I pictured myself getting strip-searched every morning before I was allowed to step foot on campus. On the other hand, if Q were up for some kinky roleplay, I wouldn’t be entirely opposed to the idea.

“Jacob, are you with me?” Raz waved his hand in my face to get my attention. “Jacob, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry, go on.”

“I get it, Jacob; No one likes being controlled.”

“Um, yeah...that’s it.”

“You have to understand, Jacob, you’re the first full-blown Skai they’re allowing in their territory, and as such, there are special rules you need to abide by.”

“I understand,” I nodded. “What do I need to do?”

“Two things. You cannot use your powers on campus at all, and you must come as Skai, not as a human.”

“Um, won’t showing up with gray skin and big black wings let the cat out of the bag?”

“Not in your true Skai form, Jacob,” Raz sighed and disappointedly shook his head. “You’ll come...”

“Yeah, okay, I got it.” I cut him off and waved my hands in front of me. I didn’t want him to think I was a complete idiot. “I’m dumb. Sorry.”

“They want to be able to track your movements on campus while you’re here. Follow those two rules, and you should be golden.”

“What happens if I break any of the rules?”

“You will not be allowed to return. Worse still, you could get yourself killed. There are only two rules, Jacob. Do not break them, understand?” There was a sternness in his eyes and a chill in his voice that made me quiver. This wasn’t something to be taken lightly, and he managed to convey that effortlessly. The last time I saw that look in his eyes, he was dealing with Kaylec. Not exactly the company I want to join.

“I won’t. I promise.”

“Good.” Confident that I understood the gravity of the situation, he relaxed back into his chair. He spun the brim of his hat between his fingers and asked, “Do you have any questions?” The coldness in his tone was replaced with a brotherly warmth.

“Yeah, about a million of them, but I’ll settle for just a few.”

He laughed and dusted off his hat. It was already immaculate, so I don’t know what he was cleaning. “Fair enough. Shoot.”

“Have you been waiting for me here this whole time?”

Raz laughed even louder. “No, Jacob, I came back to meet you. I’ve only been waiting here about twenty minutes.”

“I’m sorry. I had no idea you’d be here. I wouldn’t have wasted all that time hanging outside.” The last thing I wanted was to waste his time. I’m sure Razual had more important things to worry about in his day-to-day than hanging in my dorm room waiting for my dumb ass.

“Did you learn anything?” he asked.

“Excuse me?”

“What were you doing?”

“Oh, I was just sitting outside reading through my textbooks to get a head start on my assignments.”

“Did you learn anything?” he repeated his question.

“Yes,” I replied meekly, unsure of where he was going with this. “Quite a lot, actually.”

“Then it wasn’t time wasted, and there is no need to apologize.”

I stood there silently, staring at him for several minutes.

“Was that all, Jacob?”

“Um, no, just a few more things.” Get it together, Jacob! “So, you can just come and go as you please even though we’re in the heart of Nave territory?”

“Not at all,” he said and leaned forward as he addressed me. “As I said, I met with The Inner Circle this morning and informed them I needed to return to get you when your classes finished. I proposed waiting for you in this room. That way, they could monitor me the whole time if they wished, and my presence would cause as little disruption as possible. They agreed and permitted me to return.”

“Just like that?”

“You sound surprised.”

“Well, yeah, considering both sides hate each other and are mortal enemies.”

“Even enemies need to be able to talk to each other from time to time, Jacob.” Placing his hat on his head, Raz adjusted it until he found that sweet spot of comfort. “The Brotherhood is flexible with my request because there will be a time when they will need The Sanctum to be flexible with theirs. It’s a give-and-take that’s helped maintain the peace for centuries.”

“And you trust them enough not to go back on their word? So much so, you came here by yourself.”

“I came here as an Envoy under a banner of peace; as such, I am protected and have very little to fear from the Naverians. Admittedly, that wasn’t always the case. Many years ago, before the signing of the Accords, an Envoy wasn’t always safe, and we ended up sending several of our brothers to their deaths.”

Twice, we sent our Envoys to discuss some sort of truce, and both times he killed them.

Sunny’s words echoed through my thoughts as Razual spoke. He didn’t give any more details, but I knew whom he was talking about. The bitterness in his voice was fleeting, like a sudden gust of cold air, but no matter how brief, it still had a bite.

“I believe in those Accords, Jacob,” he continued. “It’s the only reason I can stand here today, and you can continue your studies.”

“What would happen if either side broke the Accords?” I asked, but I already knew the answer. “War?”

“Worse than that, Jacob.”

I jerked back as if I had just gotten a whiff of something foul in the air. “What could be worse than war?”

“Losing that which both Skai and Nave hold in high esteem.”

Clearly, Raz wanted me to figure out his little riddle, which was easy because I’d heard this before.

“The Great Mother.”

A smile accompanied his slow nod. “Those Accords were agreed upon in her presence and her honor. To break them would mean she would forever turn her back on the offending party. So, you see, Jacob, I don’t need to trust the Nave. I need only trust their love for The Great Mother, for even though Skai and Nave are not of her, we are all her sons.”

I looked away from Raz and focused on some obscure spot on the floor. I couldn’t help but twist my jaw and shake my head in frustration. I’m sure I rolled my eyes for good measure. I was irritated, but not at Razual. This whole Skai and Nave situation made me angry, and I wanted to lash out at both sides.

“You still seem...troubled?”

I ignored Raz at first, afraid I might take out my frustrations on him, which wouldn’t be fair or a good idea.

“Jacob?” Raz leaned forward and placed his hand on my knee. When I didn’t answer, he called my name again and shook my leg.

“I’m sorry, I just don’t want to speak out of turn,” I said. “I’m sure things are way more complicated than I’m making them out to be in my head.”

“Don’t ever be afraid to speak your mind with me.” He spoke warmly and gently squeezed my knee before straight out slapping the side of my thigh. “Come on now, tell me what’s bothering you.”

“I guess I don’t understand,” I shrugged. “If both sides can get along to some extent, despite hating each other, why can’t the Skai and Nave sit down with The Great Mother and hammer out a lasting peace? Or why wasn’t it addressed in the original agreements? Instead, we have this constant threat of all-out war looming over our heads. It seems so heavy. And it not only looms, but it’s also the desired outcome! As soon as one side finds The Eye, BAM, it’s World War III to the nth degree. We’re on a path to mass destruction, and it’s the only outcome insight.”

“That’s a fair assessment,” Raz said unemotionally without addressing my questions.

“That’s all you got?” I asked. “I vomit out my heart and soul, and all I get is tough cookies?”

“Jacob,” he said, moving forward until he was sitting on the edge of the chair, “we cannot change the nature of what we are. We know this. The Nave knows this. And The Great Mother knows this, which is why I’m sure she’s never asked us to commit to a lasting peace. We were literally created to destroy each other. Currently, we play nice with each other because it benefits both sides to do so, all the while knowing we’re sitting on a powder keg, ready to explode. It took one spark millions of years ago to ignite the firestorm that nearly destroyed us. As terrible as that was, all we can do now is hold our breaths and blow out fires until that one spark.”

“Wow, you must be the life of the party wherever you go.”

Raz laughed, stood, and popped his collar. “I have my moments.” He winked and gestured for me to stand. “That’s enough questions for now. We should get going.”

“Go where?” I asked as we stood face to face. “Why exactly did you come back anyway?”

“We’re meeting with Zenial today, and I wanted to make sure you were on time. Ms. Cynthia does not appreciate tardiness.”

“I know, she scares me too, but I still need to pack my stuff to take back to The Club.”

Razual acknowledged my concerns with a sarcastic look on his face. “Or, we can just do this….” A dark mist poured out of his outstretched hand and snaked its way around my belongings, making everything it touched disappear. In a matter of seconds, my dorm room was as empty as the day I moved in. The dark Askyli dissipated in sync with my things. “All your stuff will be in your room when you return to The Club.”

“Thanks, that’s great, but I was also planning to drive my car back to The Club.”

He looked at his watch and laughed. “And you thought you would make it back in time for your meeting? I see I made the right choice in coming to retrieve you.” He shook his head as his laughter subsided. “Drive back, he says….”

“It’s not that far,” I insisted while scratching the back of my head.

“Okay, buddy.” His sarcastic tone was not amusing but probably deserved. “Don’t worry about your car. I will take care of it. Are you ready?”

“I guess,” I shrugged as he stepped closer to me. “Wait, don’t you need to know what kind of car….”

Razual’s Askyli enveloped us like a dark blanket, and we vanished.