Evergreen - 4. Chapter 4: Promise

Evergreen

Chapter Four: Promise

"Saint Avery." Kisses, little fluttering butterflys along his jaw, little sucking sweetness.

"No Brenda I'm not that."

"You could convince god himself. That was the first miracle I have ever experienced. You just moved heaven to earth. I'm glad I forgave you. You are what I want. Don't say anything. I'm just saying this is perfect for now. My first boyfriend, my first love, my first time. I don't think it could have been more perfect. And you made it this way as a gift to me. I'm happy for me and happy for you and happy for David."

"Brenda..."

"Hush, my crusader, my knight. Don't make your second mistake. I might not be forgiving this time. Yes, I am happy for you and David. Is his love less than mine? Is your love for him less than your love for me? I wish this could last forever. Thank you with all my heart. Stay my boyfriend, Avery."

"I promise, Brenda."

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"Avery that is bliss. Everything you do is bliss. How do you know to do these things? Oh, god Avery that is wonderful."

"David all I'm doing is laughing. Would you let me get on with it?"

"Avery, I thought you were lost to me. My agony. My crying, consumed my memories. Your embrace. Your eyes staring into mine singing to me. A song just for me. Just for me. Green eyes singing of love and hunger and need only I can feed. And my soul never empties. Always, I am full of desire, full of gifts for you. The more you take, the more I have to give. Avery. Avery. You are mine and I am yours." David flipped Avery over and settled between his legs.

"Do you think of our future? Do we have one? I am so, here. Now is all I want. I want time to stop and never start again."

"David, I think I want to sleep now. Yes, sleep in your arms and wake up in your arms. Stay in your arms forever, but sleep."

"Well, I want to fuck you, then make love to you, and suck you and lick you and kiss you and eat you and..."

"David, didn't we just do that? Be good and we will do all that again tomorrow, I promise."

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A promise unkept. How many times? Yet over and over a promise unkept. And how do they all add up. There is no total sum. For a promise unkept has no weight, no substance. It is a void in the heart. It depletes, it subtracts and enough of them will eclipse the soul. I promise to love you forever. I promise to be yours. I promise I will never leave you. I promise you my heart, my soul, my hand, all that is mine. My love, my love. I promise, I promise. Time will battle with Love. Death will unwind any bond. And promises are the empty harvest at season's end. "Son, he has passed. He died a warrior in battle. All honor and glory is his. He is in the arms of the gods now. Paradise his reward." "Priest be damned. We promised. He was mine, I was his. Always." Evergreen. Always Evergreen. My promise is no better than any other.