Bokassa's Last Apostle - 4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Celebration in Kudos

‘G-I-R-L-F-R-I-E-N-D… twenty THOUSAND pounds!’ Kash squealed, as they emerged onto the street.

‘No, Three HUNDRED thousand dollars more like,’ Everton replied.

‘Heck yeah! Give me a big five and a hug!’ They threw their arms around each other. ‘We two gorgeous rich kats now!’

‘Yeah, look, I’m shaking! It’s unbelievable! I need a drink!’

‘And I know exactly where to get one! Come on, let’s get a train.’ They crossed the road to the station and a car screamed past them blaring its horn.

‘Fuck that was close!’

‘Ha! Welcome to south-east London! I’ve never seen such awful driving in my life, are you OK?’

‘Yeah, I think so,’ Everton said, as they got safely to the other side.

‘Cool, come on honey, let’s celebrate! I’ll text Edouard, he should be back from Paris soon. He can join us. “Kudos” here we come!’

The train went directly to Charing Cross, which was absolutely heaving, as it was by now well into the start of the rush-hour. ‘Is this Central London, then?’ Everton asked, as they fought against the tide of people going home.

‘Actually it is, now you come to mention it. See that thing over there? That’s the “Eleanor Cross”. It marks the centre of London, supposedly. It’s real old, like 700 years. Come on, I’ll show you something, country boy!’ Kash said, turning left out of the station.

A few minutes later, Everton let out a gasp. ‘Is that Nelson’s Column? I didn’t know it was here. I’ve never seen it before!’

‘Yep,’ Kash said, and then, putting his arm on his shoulder and turning him to his left, ‘that’s Admi-ralty Arch, which goes to Bucking-ham Palace, and the Houses of Parliament and No. 10 are just down that road there,’ turning him even more and pointing down Whitehall. ‘Now come on, let’s get that drink!’

‘Hold on a minute,’ Everton said, as they got nearer to the bar, ‘is that a cash-point opposite? Let’s test this card.’

‘Go-on, have a go!’ The card went smoothly into the Post-Office cash machine and Everton typed in the number. “Available balance: £20,000” appeared on the screen. “Select another service”.

‘I’ll have some money please!’ Everton giggled, and tapped in a £300 withdrawal. In moments, he had his hands on a nice wad of cash. ‘I thought he was joking! Fuck, I AM rich!’

‘Way to go! Come on, the drinks are on you!’

They took their pints to the cosy brown suede sofas at the back of the top bar and settled-down. ‘You were right about this place; it’s really nice,’ Everton said, taking a slurp of his beer. ‘Sorry, cheers,’ he added, and they clinked their glasses.

‘Cheers,’ Kash replied. ‘Actually, this top part isn’t the main reason for coming; they open up the downstairs later, that’s where the action is!’

‘Action? It’s very posh here, but it doesn’t look cruisy. There’s quite a lot of Chinese guys in here, aren’t there.’

‘Yeah, but they mostly stay up here, it fills up with some mighty fine black, latino and white guys downstairs later, you’ll see! Patience, my friend,’ Kash said, with a mischievous glint in his eye.

‘So, what do you think all that was about earlier? “Stay away from women” and “always wear the necklace”. I don’t know what to make of it.’

‘Well, I guess you won’t have any problem doing that!’ Kash sniggered. ‘Let’s see that necklace again; you’re wearing the ring, so maybe you should put that on as well?’

Everton laughed. ‘Maybe my old man knew I was going to be a poof! Here it is,’ and he pulled it out of his jacket pocket.

‘Hey, it’s gorgeous,’ Kash said, ‘kinda ethnic. Come on, I’ll tie it on for you. He wanted you to wear it, remember? It’ll look fantastic! Turn around.’

Kash placed his hands on Everton’s shoulders and pulled back the lapels of the black linen jacket he was wearing, reached in front and opened the flowery Ted Baker shirt. ‘Hey, man, this thing’s a bit too long to go around your neck. I’m gonna have to make a few adjustments. Hold on.’ He reached around the front and unbuttoned Everton’s shirt another notch.

He pulled the shoulders of his jacket back even further, tied the thong of the necklace in the small of his neck, and tucked the long ends down his back. Turning him round, he adjusted his shirt and jacket fussily. ‘There you go, hey man that’s really cool, go check it out, there’s a mirror in the loo! It’s right over there.’ He said, indicating a door next to the cigarette machine.

‘You look like a real African now,’ Kash said, as Everton returned, ‘It really suits you!’

‘Yeah, thanks; well I am and I aren’t, if you see what I mean. My Dad might have been African, but I’ve grown up here, haven’t I? Actually, everything’s just churning around inside me at the moment. You know, Dad and all that. Where on earth did all that cash come from? And what happened to him? Why didn’t he come back to collect it? I can’t work it out. It all sounds a bit dodgy to me. I think that guy knows more than he’s letting-on.’

‘You’re damn right there. I think we’ll have to talk to him again. Look, that’s Edouard; hey, Ed, right over here!’ Kash waved across the bar.

‘You were right about this place. There are a few more black guys now too; look, Edouard’s eyeing-up that guy with the twists over by the entrance.’

‘Oh yeah; well she doesn’t waste her time, does she! Just see how innocently she’s pretending to look the other way, yet she’s still checking her out in the mirror behind the bar, now that’s a trick you’ll need, country boy! It’s quite useful in the tube as well.’

‘Hey, less of the “country boy” if you don’t mind,’ Everton protested, playfully pushing Kash backwards. His drink slopped onto the table.

‘Woah! That nearly went the wrong way! But hay, no damage done! Look here she comes!’

Sure enough, Edouard was coming back from the bar balancing three pints in his hands. ‘Oh here you are,’ he said, as he placed them on the table and sat down. Then he picked up his glass and said ‘A votre sante!’

‘Cheers,’ Kash said, and clinked his glass.

‘Oh, yeah, cheers,’ Everton added. ‘What was that again Edouard?’

‘A votre sante.’

‘Oh yeah, “Ar vot sontaey,” he said with a smile and clinked his glass.

‘Thank you,’ he said, wincing at Everton’s accent, ‘you are looking wonderful Everton, what is that necklace? It is really nice!’

‘Yeah, it was my father’s, and this ring,’ he said, holding out his finger.

‘Ouawouwaowouwaou, that is impressive!’ You have obviously had a very interesting day.’

‘That’s not the half of it,’ Kash said, ‘just wait ’til you hear the rest.’

‘But that is absolutely incredible!’ Edouard said, when they had finished filling him in. ‘Everton here is quite a mystery!’

‘Yeah, and one hell of a rich kat; come on, it must be open downstairs by now.’

By contrast with upstairs, the downstairs bar was dark and moody. Relief statues of naked men’s torsos were sunken into the walls, picked-out in spotlights. A huge plasma screen dominated the bar, and a handful of Chinese boys were dancing to a Kylie video, but other than that it felt a bit empty.

‘Where are the chairs?’ Everton asked, ‘and the people? It’s dead!’

‘Yeah, it’s early,’ Kash said. ‘Come on, it’s my turn, let’s go over to the bar.’ A pretty latino boy was fussing around behind the counter. ‘Hola marica!’ Kash yelled, over the soundtrack.

‘Baby! Nice to see you, entiende!’ he replied, aiming a big kiss on each of Kash’s cheeks. ‘And Edouard!’ Same thing, two precise kisses. ‘Hey guys, w-h-o is you gorgeous friend?’ he asked, staring at Everton.

‘Well I think it falls to me to present you,’ Edouard replied. ‘Everton, this is Louis, Louis, this is Everton.’

‘Pleased to meet you, Louis,’ Everton said. More kisses.

‘Can we please have three pints of Stella, Louis?’ Kash asked.

‘Yeah, no problem; how are you, Kash?’

‘Yeah, cool. Fuck, here’s Ricqui, can you make that a strawberry daiquiri as well, please, Louis?’ he asked, as a flamboyantly dressed short black guy minced his way down the stairs.

‘Ricqui! ça va? c’est longtemps!’ Edouard shrieked, and rushed to greet him.

‘He’s one of the “Girlfriends”,’ Kash explained. Then he checked that Louis was busy with their order and whispered, ‘he’s a hooker.’

‘You mean he…?’ Everton started out loud, but Kash clapped one hand over Everton’s mouth and the other around his waist.

‘Hey man, don’t shout it out, I’ll fill you in later,’ he whispered, ‘the night’s about to get interestin’, trust me.’

‘Alors, copine, tu ne m’as pas presente a cette jolie metisse?’ Ricqui said to Edouard, as they got back and collected their drinks.

‘Pardon,’ Edouard said, ‘Ricqui, this is Everton, Everton, Ricqui.’

‘Enchante!’ Ricqui replied, batting his eyelashes exaggeratedly and twirling the straw in his cocktail.

‘Yeah, pleased to meet you,’ Everton said. ‘I’m sorry, I don’t speak French.’

‘Oh that is alright. It is I who should apologise, English from now on, Edouard?’

‘OK,’ he replied, ‘so what are you doing tonight Ricqui?’

‘I just popped in here for a quick drink before going to Waterloo.’

‘The railway station, are you going away?’ Everton asked.

‘Oh no,’ Edouard explained, ‘he means the sauna just over the river, but that is a fantastic idea, Ricqui! I have not been there for absolutely ages, it will be dead here for at least another two hours. What do you think, Kash? Fancy some good clean fun?’

‘Ha,’ Kash replied, ‘at one time I practically lived there, sounds good to me, but what about you Everton, are you up for an adventure?’

‘A gay sauna, for sex and that? There’s one in Dudley, but I never went. You mean wandering around in the nud’ and stuff?’

‘Well you get a towel, which is one better than when we first met!’ Kash joked. ‘Found this guy wandering stark naked on the Heath on Saturday, Ricqui, created quite a stir!’

‘Mmmm, I can well imagine!’ Ricqui said, looking Everton up and down.

‘I got gaybashed and passed out,’ Everton explained. ‘I came to with all my clothes stolen and ran for cover in the woods, how was I to know it was Hampstead Heath? Everywhere I went, guys started hitting on me! One time I tried to hide in the bushes, and the deeper I went, the more guys there were, just grouped around and, you know, sort-of eyeing each other up. Everywhere I turned there was another guy staring at me. If it wasn’t for these guys here… ’

Ricqui laughed. ‘I bet they will remember you for a long time!’

‘Well it’s not that funny.’

‘Yes but, a NAKED man wandering about on the heath, oh my God those queens must have LOVED it! But you poor boy, what very bad luck, you have to be careful. No problem at Waterloo, you can do whatever you want in complete safety. So do you want to come along?’

‘OK, why not! But let’s finish these first. This is a really nice place, but where are all the black boys you promised me Kash?’

‘Well, as Edouard says,’ he replied, ‘it’s still a bit early. They’ve already begun to lower the lights, and they’ll soon start to change the music. Maybe that will persuade those Chinese boys to go back upstairs.’

‘Yeah, you did say they stay up there. But isn’t that—you know—segregation; like what used to happen in America?’

‘Well, Edouard here is the expert on racial preference. No-one’s forcin’ ’em, but it’s worse than that my friend. See those arches at the end,’ he said, putting his arm around Everton’s shoulder and turning him to look past the video screen, ‘that’s where the Caribbean Brothers normally hang-out and then over by the bar is where…’

‘Hein!’ Ricqui cut-in, ‘I had not thought about it, but you are right Kash, we African girls do tend to stay by the bar.’ Right on-cue, the music changed to an RnB track. Five young black guys came out of the shadows at the end and started dancing vigorously around the Chinese boys, who fled upstairs as if they were being chased.

‘You see,’ Kash said as Edouard and Ricqui burst out laughing, ‘that showed ’em!’