Cold Hell - 23. Chapter 22

For the next three days and nights the snow storm continued to rage without showing any signs of letting up.

On the third day, Danni woke up and looked out the window - he could no longer tell the difference between night and day. Snow whipped past the window. The grey shapes of buildings, little more than shadows, loomed out of the stygian gloom. A sheet of ice covered the window, blurring everything so that Danni felt as if he was looking into a netherworld that existed outside of this one.

He sighed, scratching at the three days worth of stubble along his chin. Depression and anxiety churned in his gut. I don't know how much longer I can take this. It wasn't just the isolation. It was not knowing if Calvin was okay, not being able to contact him. One of the things Planet Redemption lacked was means of communication. It had everything else but fucking phones.

Danni turned away from the window and stretched. He left the room he'd been sleeping in for the last two days and stepped out into the hallway. Though the blood had been cleaned up he could still see the spot where Skottalina had died. Just thinking about it made his hands shake and his skin start sweating. He reached into the pocket of his pants and took out the bottle of muscle relaxers he'd taken from the medicine store. He unsnapped the top of the bottle, palmed three of them into his mouth, and swallowed them dry. It didn't provide the same high shooting up heroin did, it helped.

The door to his right opened and Natalia stepped out. She didn't look any better than Danni did: Her hair was tangled and there were dark bags under her eyes.

"Morning," she said sleepily.

"Are you sure it's morning?" Danni asked with a small smile, in an attempt at humor.

Natalia yawned, smiled back. "It's morning to me. I'm hungry. Let's go grab some breakfast."

The clinic had a kitchen with an old early twenty-first century model stove. Everest stood at the stove, stirring something in a saucepan. When he heard them coming into the kitchen, he turned his head and greeted them with a simple, "Hello. Breakfast is on the stove."

"What's for breakfast?" Natalia asked. "Oh, let me guess...oatmeal."

Everest nodded once, smiling. "Oatmeal."

Natalia sat down at the table with a sigh. "The breakfast of champions. My taste buds can't wait."

Danni grabbed paper bowls and plastic spoons from the drawer. Everest scooped four healthy servings of plain oatmeal into a bowl. “You know on Earth, the breakfast of champions was considered wheaties - it’s a bran flake cereal.”

“But you’re not on Earth,” Natalia said offhandedly.

“Thanks for reminding me,” Danni muttered, frowning in her direction. “I just thought it would be an Earth fact you might want to know since you wouldn’t stop asking me about it as soon as I woke up from cryosleep.” He turned to Everest and lowered her voice. “She hasn’t come out of her room yet, has she?”

"No." Everest's eyebrows knitted together. "It's been three days. I've knocked, I've tried talking to her through the door. She doesn't respond."

"She's been eating her food. I set her food in front of her door and she sets the bowl back out when she's done eating. She'll come out when she's ready to," Danni reassured Everest. "I'll set her breakfast in front of her door."

Danni took the bowl of oatmeal and walked halfway down the hallway; he stopped frowning. There was an odd fluttering feeling in his stomach. The butterfly feeling he'd come to think of it as. He'd felt it back on Earth, not long after he'd met Juan; it was a feeling he'd never thought he would feel again. Until now. It happened only while he was around Everest. It was a strange, uncomfortable feeling, one Danni wished he could stop thinking about.

Ever since Mikael's death, they'd been at odds with each other, walking towards each other along a tenuous line. Or so Danni thought. There had been moments, like on Delivery Day and in the truck when Dinah had sent them to check the crash site when they'd...what?...connected? Slowly building a friendship? Since the traumatic death of Skottalina and the attack by the two Mureen clansman, they'd been gravitating towards one another, but towards what Danni couldn't or maybe didn't want to say. Of course this newfound friendship, Danni told himself, came from the simple fact they were isolated, cut off from the rest of the colony, with no choice but to interact with each other.

Or was it?

Danni shook the thought from his mind and walked the rest of the way. He stopped a few steps away from the door where Dinah had isolated herself. A black curtain of self loathing and despair hung over the door. He knew things between Natalia and Dinah had not gone well - not that he'd purposely peeked inside their minds; he couldn't choose what he saw and what he didn't.

Danni felt no pity towards the woman. As far as he was concerned she had no one but herself to blame for the state of her life - just as he only had himself to blame for the state of his. Still, some part of him that was a little more humane than he liked to admit was tempted to knock on the door, to at least see if she was still alive.

Instead he set the bowl down and went back to the kitchen. She would eat when she was ready to.

Natalia had left the kitchen, most likely going back to her own part of the clinic, but Everest was still sitting at the table, slowly eating his breakfast. Danni's bowl of oatmeal still sat on the counter; steam rising

from the surface of the tasteless mush.

"Do you mind if I sit with you?" Danni asked. He hated how shy he sounded. How uncertain. The butterfly feeling was back in his stomach.

"I could use the company," Everest said.

Danni sat on the opposite side of the table, glancing at his breakfast with disinterest. He wasn't hungry. He didn't want to take a bite of the mostly tasteless slop.

"There's packets of sugar in the cupboard," said Everest.

Danni sighed heavily . "Thanks, but I don't think it'll make much of a difference."

"I imagine you ate much better food on Earth." There was no criticism in Everest's voice, only curiosity, interest, and the need for conversation. Yes, Danni thought, something had been growing between them indeed.

"Not all the time. You see, I come from a very rich family. Rich people eat some of the most disgusting shit you can imagine. Have you ever heard of caviar?"

"I have not."

Danni grinned, starting to feel more relaxed. Perhaps it was the painkillers he'd taken, finally kicking in. "Caviar is a delicacy derived from sturgeon eggs. It's revolting. I remember the first time I tried it when I was a kid. I threw up. And I positively hate seafood. I think I'd rather eat tasteless oatmeal with the consistency of snot for the rest of my life than fish."

Everest chuckled. "Caviar does not sound appealing."

A moment of silence stretched between them. Danni felt uncomfortable once more. He found himself trying to find something to say - anything to cover up how unsure of himself he was feeling. He remembered it had been the same way with Juan. Almost the exact same way.

Thankfully Everest was the first to speak. "I don't think I ever thanked you."

"Thanked me for what?" Danni set his spoon down, nudged his bowl away.

"Saving my life."

"There's no need to thank me." Color crept across Danni's cheek, blooming red.

"There is," Everest insisted. "I am ashamed at how I behaved after Mikael's death. He deserved what happened to him for what he did to your friend. And then the other day in the crematorium when Dinah told me to shoot you...well I don't know if I'd be able to live with myself had I pulled the trigger."

"Well it's a good thing you didn't," Danni said, " because then I would've had to kill you."

Slowly one of Everest's eyebrows rose to his forehead. "How? You would have been dead before you crossed the room."

Danni smirked. "Don't be so sure. I've dodged bullets before."

Now it was Everest's turn to smile. "You are a strange one, Danni."

A stream of images flashed through Danni's head: Everest's long, thick fingers running through his long blonde hair, their lips touching, bodies melting together…

These were Everest's thoughts currently running through his head.

Danni felt himself grow painfully hard. He looked down at Everest's hand, holding the spoon gently which looked absurdly small in his hand. Such big hands he had. And rough looking. Danni wondered if they were calloused, hardened by rough living. He wondered what it would feel like to have those rough hands on his bare skin. Like Danni, Everest had grown a beard, giving him a more barbaric look that appealed greatly to Danni.

Danni rose from the table and turned, hoping Everest didn't see his erection. He had to leave the room before he did something that might lead to regret later. He tossed his bowl of oatmeal in the trash bin and muttered something about taking a shower.

In the shower, Danni pressed his forehead against the slick tile. Steam rose around him towards the ceiling. The heat from the water caused his skin to break out in goosebumps; to feel warmth, even for just a moment, was a privilege, something he had never truly appreciated on Earth.

Danni was a man who clung to his composure like a man clings to a life raft. His outward appearance of coldness was a result of his psychic abilities: His mind was constantly taking in what he thought of as data. Over the years he'd taught himself how to compartmentalize the emotions of others from his own. In truth, there had been a time when Danni was capable of great empathy - he'd simply lost his grip on it.

There were moments when his composure slipped and his emotions got the best of him, such as when he found Mikael and his friends raping Calvin in the alleyway. Though these moments were few and far between, when they happened Danni often felt like he was spinning out of control, being tossed around in a whirlwind. He felt this way now.

During the few months he'd spent on Planet Redemption, Danni had done his best to ignore the guilt he felt towards Juan, Tinkerbell, and Cookie. Especially Juan. For the most part it'd been easy to do. Danni had been preoccupied with adapting to and surviving Planet Redemption's harsh landscape. But now his growing attraction to Everest reopened the scab Danni had thought was healing. Now he was confused. And very horny. He hadn't had sex - real sex - since he'd been on Earth.

Just when it seemed Danni was starting to get Everest out of his mind, the thought would resurface. Danni ground his teeth together in frustration, shut off the water, and dried himself off with a towel. His movements were quick, agitated.

He stepped down the hallway, clothes still clinging to his still-wet skin. His hair fell down towards his shoulders. His eyes were fixed on the door to the room where Everest had been sleeping for the last few nights. Though he did not know it, he walked with an offensive stride, his strides wide and powerful, his movement graceful, as if preparing himself for battle. He reached the door, which was slightly ajar, and peeked inside. He could see a small view of the bed. The bed sheets were ruffled. He could hear the sound of running water coming from inside the bathroom. Danni nudged the door open enough to slip inside.

Everest stood in the bathroom, in full view of the mirror. He was completely naked except for a white towel wrapped around his waist. Without the bulk of his winter clothes, Danni could see just how broad the man truly was. Feeling as if a golf ball had launched itself inside his throat, Danni nudged the door shut and took several silent steps towards Everest's back.

The man, preoccupied with brushing his teeth, didn't notice Danni's reflection in the mirror until Danni was standing in the doorway of the bathroom. Everest slowly set the toothbrush down, spat into the sink, and wiped his mouth with a clean wash rag. He turned around to face Danni.

"What are you - "

It was as far as Everest got before Danni closed the distance between them. He laid a hand on the man's broad chest. A line of coarse black hair traveled from his chest down to the crater of his belly button. Standing up close to Everest, Danni felt small. He was small compared to Everest. Juan had been taller and fit, but nowhere the size of Everest.

Steam billowed around them. Danni was suddenly aware of how hot the bathroom was. Now he was here, standing in front of a naked Everest, he didn't know what to do. They stared at each other in the sweltering heat of the bathroom.

Slowly, as if unsure of himself, Everest raised a hand and touched the back of Danni's head, feeling the blonde, half-dried strands. More firmly, more surely, brown eyes smoldering, Everest bunched Danni's hair in his big fist. He lowered his lips towards Danni's lips until they touched.

They kissed slowly, experimentally at first. Danni set his small, fragile-looking hands on Everest's solid chest; he needed something to set them on or else they would curl into fists.

Suddenly Everest leaned back, standing up to his full height. "Why are you doing this?"

"Because I want to." Danni lifted a thin eyebrow. "And because I know you want to as well." With that he gently pulled the towel from around Everest's waist. His eyes drifted down, where they stopped and lingered on Everest's crotch. He had a bush of dark pubic hair.

Danni reached out and wrapped his fingers around Everest's member, and tugged twice. Everest's cock stiffened, Danni teased him until the man was fully hard Everest's breath had quickened in anticipation.

Danni lowered himself onto his knees and teasingly ran his tongue along the tip of Everest's cock, causing Everest to suck in a breath. Danni took the tip fully into his mouth; his head began to bob slowly up and down while he became accustomed to Everest's girth.

Danni felt Everest's thick fingers touch the back of his head. Danni stopped abruptly, looked up at the towering man with sharp, icy blue eyes. "Don't touch the back of my head."

Everest said nothing, simply set his hand on the edge of the counter. Danni went back to working him. After Everest climaxed, Danni stood up, wiping his lips with the back of his hand. Everest rested against the sink, panting. After a moment he opened his mouth to say something to the younger man, but Danni had already left the room.

Danni closed the door to his room softly behind him and crawled into bed. He could still taste Everest's cum on his tongue. Why did I do that? he asked himself. What was the point?

He spent the next hour searching for an answer; he didn't find one.

                                             …

The next morning Everest entered the kitchen to find Danni alone, sitting at the table with a bowl of oatmeal. Everest hesitated, wondering if he should head back to his room and wait until Danni was gone. After the way the younger man had left his room so abruptly, Everest was confused and felt he had every right to be. His confusion was further exacerbated when Danni hadn't come out of his room for the rest of the day or evening.

Was Danni angry? Had Everest done something wrong? How could Danni be angry when he'd been the one who had come onto Everest so strongly? These questions had churned through Everest's mind throughout the night, almost until morning. Though he was closer to forty than not, Everest now felt as insecure as a teenaged boy.

Seeing Danni sitting at the table reminded Everest of their strange yet unforgettable encounter the day before: the robotic and simultaneously graceful way Danni stalked towards him, the dreamy yet determined expression on his face; the exhilaration Everest felt to finally be touching Danni after fantasizing the moment so many times. And then there had been the things Danni had done with his mouth. It had been pleasure to the point of the pain. Not even an appointment with a prostitute at the brothel had brought Everest such pleasure.

He did not regret the moment, knew he would savor it for as long as he could; but did not want the tenuous friendship he'd started to build with Danni, which had begun on a chaotic foundation, to be destroyed.

Everest served himself a bowl of what looked like cream of spinach and pulled back the chair opposite Danni. "Morning," he said cautiously, mostly to see if he could gauge the younger man's reaction.

"Morning," Danni said without hesitation or reproach. He even smiled, which Everest took as a good sign. "I got up early and went through all the boxes in the pantry. Found this soup. Decided we were long due for a change."

"Yes," Everest agreed. "We've been eating oatmeal until it's coming out of our fucking ears. I don't know why; there's plenty of food in the pantry from us to choose from."

"We've been in survival mode," said Danni in a soft voice. His expression was unreadable. Everest had never met anyone, besides Dinah perhaps, who was so guarded, who was so adept at giving away nothing. But Everest had known Dinah for years, had gotten to know her quite well. Danni was a complete mystery. It was his enigmatic nature that intrigued Everest so much. Everest decided it was time to bring up what had happened between them last night. "You didn't come out of your room yesterday. I'd begun to worry."

"Yes," said Danni, leaning back in his chair so he could look at Everest fully. "I needed time to think about what occurred between us yesterday. What I did and why I did it. I haven't done anything that impulsive in a long time. I can imagine you were confused when I left in such an abrupt manner. I wasn't angry with you, I don't feel like you did anything wrong or took advantage of me. I was the one who came into your room and instigated things." Danni smiled before adding, "I'm an empath, remember? I can sense your emotions."

Everest growled in frustration. "I hate how my feelings are so transparent to you when you give so little of yourself."

"I can't help it. It's something that's been passed through generations on my mother's side. Giving away bits of myself to anyone has never been easy," Danni said after a moment's thought. "Every moment of every day I feel everything everyone else is feeling - Calvin, Natalia, Dinah, and you. There are times when I can't tell anyone else's emotions apart from my own. It's everything I can do to keep myself from going fucking insane. So I'll share this with you: I came into your room because I wanted to; if not I wouldn't have done it. I suppose I'm attracted to you, which is ironic considering just a week ago we were enemies."

"Only because I was an idiot," Everest said gratingly.

Danni offered no agreement or no disagreement.

"So are we friends then?"

"Yes," Danni said slowly, "I think we are."

A few seconds later Natalia wandered into the kitchen and informed them the blizzard had finally passed.