Cold Hell - 4. Chapter 4

For Danni, walking out into the cold was like traveling from one world to another, though the worlds weren’t really all that different. The clinic had been cold and sterile, and his first glimpse of the planet was much the same. He’d picked up pictures from the minds of Natalia, Dinah, and the staff of the clinic but what those images had shown him could not prepare his other four senses for the experience.

The air was frigid, caressing his cheeks with fingers that turned his face numb; his breath came out in drifts of mist before turning into ice crystals. The snow beneath his feet had hardened so it was solid as rock. Several yards away a tractor trundled to the side between two buildings, pushing a mound of snow into a collective clump. The tractor itself looked old, the red paint faded. Once there had been a logo printed on the side but now it was faded due to age. Danni had seen a tractor in old twentieth and twenty-first century movies he used to watch but had never seen a real one. Like so many things back home they were obsolete.

The sky was like a rolling bruise in which sunlight poked weakly through wispy clouds. He could actually see the rays but couldn’t feel them. It was upon realizing he would never feel the warmth of Earth’s sun on his face that he suddenly wished he was home, back in the mansion, or even with Juan and the others. He had never before felt homesick like he did now. There were no trees in sight, no plains of glass or wheat, no glistening bodies of water, no birds gliding gracefully through the air. Nothing but the primitive grey metal exteriors of the buildings to obstruct the vast expanse of white before him and the mountainous glaciers on the horizon

Apart from the colonists, Planet Redemption was dead. We’re the only animals here, Danni thought.

A sudden overwhelming sense of grief drove him to his knees. They simply gave out from beneath him, pushing him down, failing him. For a moment he had lost all awareness of Everest and Dinah. He might as well be on this planet alone, the only human on this side of the cosmos. It was almost impossible to breathe; the air he did breathe tasted of rubber. Tears oozed from the corners of his eyes and immediately froze on his flesh. I’m in Hell, he thought. This is my punishment for my crimes. Whoever said Hell was hot was wrong, it’s cold. It’s made of ice not flame.

He felt a hand grab his arm. He whipped his head around, ready to lash out, only to realize it was Everest trying to help him up. “Whoa,” Everest said, hands raised. He backed up. “I was just trying to help you up.” It was the first words he’d spoken to Danni.

Dinah came to Everest’s side. “Give him a minute,” Danni heard her say in a low voice with the occasional pop of static. “Let him catch his bearings. It’s always a shock when they realize this all isn’t just a dream.”

A minute passed, maybe two, before Danni’s breathing was back to normal. The air passing into his lungs from the breathing mask tasted of plastic. Get over it, he told himself. Deal with it. You’re an Aamodt for Christ’s sake, so act like it.

He rose to his feet and looked back at the others. Everest and Dinah were watching him patiently; it seemed the cold did not affect them. He assumed they were both natives of the planet so it made sense that they would be used to the weather. Dinah appeared perfectly calm but there was a tenseness in Everest’s broad shoulders. His gloved hands were clenched into fists. He’s like a bodyguard, Danni thought. He protects her, because here she’s important - he thinks I’m going to attack them.

Danni closed his eyes and forced himself to relax. He may have been a criminal on earth, a terrorist, but he wasn’t a brute. Yes, he was capable of great violence, but only when his life was threatened and violence was needed. The only difference was when he and Juan and the others had gone to Mexico - the little boy...that had been vengeance. But he had always considered himself to be a moral person. He was not a coldblooded killer. And he would not let this place, as cold and desolate as it was, turn him into one.

“I’m ready,” he said.

                            …

Letting Everest and Dinah take the lead, Danni climbed into the cabin of a large truck. To his relief warm air blew from the vents, slowly easing the numbness in his cheeks. Never before had he felt such cold! Is this what it’s like in Antarctica? he wondered.

Dinah introduced him to the man sitting in the driver’s seat, Mikael. He was a large broad shouldered man with a shaggy red beard and dark brown eyes. He shook Danni’s hand and said, “Nice to see you're all thawed out, eh? Though judging by the way you're shaking you probably wish you weren't, eh?”

Outside the wind howled, its mournful wails buffeted by the steel walls of the truck but not completely silenced. Mikael continued to chatter, seemingly unaware of Danni’s silence. Danni was not in the mood for chitchat; for reasons he could not explain, he did not like Mikael.

And he was exhausted. Though the physical therapy had helped with the muscle atrophy that was a side effect of being in the CryoSleep chamber, he was not in the prime condition he’d been back on Earth. This left him feeling vulnerable. What if he found himself in a situation in which he had to defend himself?

“If you think it’s cold out there now,” Mikael said, “wait until you find yourself in the middle of a snowstorm. You have but a few minutes to get back inside where it’s warm before the cold kills you - you’re lucky if you have even that.”

“Mikael,” Dinah said wearily, “I thank you for welcoming our newest colonist, but please just shut up and drive.”

Mikael immediately clamped his mouth shut and pulled away from the clinic. The truck bounced and jolted as it trundled between the buildings the colony. With snowflakes flattening themselves up against the windows it was hard to get a good look.

Danni used the moment of silence to try and get as much information as he could out of Mikael’s mind. It was difficult to do, like trying to chip at a rock wall with a hammer. He was able to get a few vague faces but how those vague faces were related to Mikael he didn’t know, nor could he tell what gender they were. There was however one thing Danni was certain of: they were screaming in pain, begging for mercy.

And he sensed Mikael’s delight in causing pain, his lust for gratification. He was a rapist and it didn't matter who the victim was, male or female, as long as they were smaller and weaker than he was.

He was a monster - the worst kind of monster.

And Planet Redemption was full of them.

Apart from the trucks, only a few people dared to venture out into the cold. From behind it was impossible to tell gender. Everyone looked the same in their bulky jacket, gloves, and boots. The only way to tell who was male was through the beard. All the men Danni had seen so far, including Everest and Mikael, had one. The women wore scarves around their faces so only their eyes could be seen beneath their hoods.

Mikael stopped at a one story building that had been installed in the very center of the colony. He winked at Danni and offered his hand for a shake. Shake his hand, a cautious voice, perhaps his mother's voice, told Danni in the back of his head. you don’t want to ruffle feathers or draw attention to yourself.

Danni resisted his inner inhibitions and took Mikael’s hand. He’d hoped the gloves he was wearing would help keep out any thoughts or emotions Mikael might be having.

It didn’t.

The moment Danni and Mikael’s hand made contact it felt as if the scalding hot blade of a scalpel was cutting through Danni’s brain.

A river of nightmares passed through Danni’s brain, pulsing and covered in red membrane. The faces of Mikael’s victims, screaming in pain, begging for mercy; severed limbs and fingers crawled across Danni’s vision like the legs of a spider. Somewhere he heard the sound of a heartbeat and Mikael’s rumbling laughter. He felt Mikael’s lust as if it was his own, a hot melting liquid in the pit of his belly, and felt his own dick grow hard. Danni wanted to unzip his fly, reach down and started jacking off, consequences be damned.

Underneath the lust and the terror, his fear mixed with Mikael’s emotion like water paints swirled together, was Mikael’s sense of guilt and self-loathing. He knows what he is and hates himself for it, Danni thought. And as all this was passing through him - it seemed to take hours, minute upon minute, when really it all happened in the blink of an eye - Danni wondered what made a monster: was it genetics, environmental, circumstantial, or were people simply born that way.

He was grateful when Mikael finally released his hand. He looked around guiltily to see if anyone had noticed what had just transpired. Dinah was jumping out of the truck, into the snow, but Everest was giving him a funny look, his brow creased. Danni’s stomach clenched on itself. What did he see?

“See you around,” Mikael said.

“Yeah, see you,” Danni said. Grateful to be off the truck and away from Mikael, Danni jumped off the truck and followed Dinah into the building with Everest taking up the rear.

The inside of the building had been set up as an office/apartment. A large window, which took up a whole wall, showed a vast expanse of white snow and ice. In the distance a large mountain rolled up reaching for the grey sky; the sight was beautiful in its chaos and cruelty. Danni felt nauseated at the thought there was nothing else out there: no trees or ocean, no planetary wildlife to hunt and feed off of or interact with. How did Aamodt Corp even colonize this place? he wondered. Better yet how did the prisoners here not rape and kill each other until there was no one left standing?

Before the window was a steel desk with an old early twenty-first century computer monitor. The antique appeared bulky and hideous to his eyes, but also equally fascinating. Had Dinah and Everest not been standing there, watching him closely, Danni would have sat down in the chair and begun examining it immediately. The desk itself was spartan, well-organized.

To the left was a bookshelf, packed end to end with books: tattered paperbacks, dictionaries, and encyclopedias. On Earth the use of paper was outlawed, therefore everything was digital, making paper books an antique. Only a time or two had Danni held a book, felt the briskness of the pages, and smelled them. Here he had the feeling they were just for show; he couldn’t imagine Dinah sitting around, reading for entertainment.

Danni craned his head towards the left where a short hallway went past a closed hatch. Another hatch led into a bedroom. The inside of the apartment was considerably warmer than the inside of the truck had been.

“This may not look like much to someone from Earth, but for us here on Planet Redemption this is very luxurious,” said Dinah. She gestured for Danni to sit in the chair across from hers. “Would you like a cup of hot chocolate to warm you up?”

Danni nodded and sat down. Everest pulled a seat up beside the desk and did the same. Danni watched as Dinah went into the small kitchen alcove. She grabbed a pitcher of milk from the fridge and poured some into a coffee cup. Danni was impressed - unless you were rich enough to be able to afford it, the real stuff from a cow, it would normally be the synthetic shit the government issued to the lower class.

As if Dinah had read his thoughts, she said “There’s a lot of things we don’t have, but a couple of things we do have are real chickens and cows. We do not clone them as you do on Earth. We breed them the old fashioned way at the processing plant, where most people in the colony work. Something we rarely have is real hot chocolate like what I’m fixing you. When yerr people bring us prisoners they will occasionally bring supplies. Careful, it's very hot.”

She handed him a steaming mug of hot chocolate and sat down at her desk. She glanced at Everest, who was studying Danni out of the corner of his eye, before turning her attention back to Danni. “We are in my office because I want to go over a few key things here for yer benefit. I wish I could tell you the rest of your life will be easy and relaxing, but it won't be. For Everest and I, we were born here therefore we are used to the harsh weather and the...uh...etiquette.” She smiled, making her tattoo crinkle up slightly at the edges..

She paused, waiting for Danni to give a reaction, but he merely stared back. His face was completely expressionless. He sensed a stab of aggravation coming from her thrown in his direction. She expects me to give a reaction, he told himself, to quake in my boots with fear but I won't do it. I won't give her the satisfaction.

“Everyone here above the age of thirteen works,” she continued after a moment. “Everyone.” There are no - how do they say it on Earth - oh, uh free passes. You work to get rations and you need rations to eat. With these credits you can get food, drinks, go to the sauna, and the brothel. Other people choose to work at the brothel.” Dinah smiled again at Danni. “Perhaps you might want to work at the brothel yourself. You’re young and have blonde hair. I know a lot of men and even a few women who would pay for an hour of fun with you. Don't you agree, Everest?”

Whatever Everest’s opinion was he did not offer it and neither did Danni.

“Ignore his silence,” Dinah said. “He’s never talked much which is one of the many reasons why I like having him around. He doesn’t talk incessantly like most people.” She reached into her desk and handed Danni a black card with a metallic strip on the edge. “This is yerr ration card - do not lose it or let anyone steal it. Yer will not get another one if someone does.”There’s no such thing as begging on Planet Redemption. To beg is to show you're weak, and to show you’re weak will get you raped or killed or both, do you understand?”

Danni muttered a thanks and stowed the ration card carefully in his back pocket.

“And now there's one thing I would like to discuss before I show you to your new home. Everest go to the truck and wait with Mikael, won’t you? This won't take long.”

Everest grunted and stood up. He nodded once at Danni before exiting the apartment through the hatch.

Dinah was completely serious. Her eyes bore into Danni’s. “I know who you are and I know what they charged you with. Your father is not a loved man, even this far from your home planet. Many would commend you for what you tried to do; consider it brave. I know I do. But there are many here - most even - who would kill you horribly just for being who you are: an Aamodt. Do you get what direction I’m coming from?”

“I do,” Danni said.

“Good,” said Dinah. “Do you have any questions?”

“Just one,” said Danni. “Why are the colonies separated into three different clans.”

Dinah cocked an eyebrow. “Did Natalia not tell you?”

Danni shook his head.

“It's ancient history, that. For us anyway. When our ancestors first came to this planet there was only one clan. Aamodt Corp left our people with enough food and supplies to get started but you know how barbaric human beings can be. Our ancestors almost killed each other fighting for it. So we split into three clans, each with their own leader to keep from going into conflict again. It's why only three clans can interact with each other and only at the Pavilion, which is neutral territory. That is the short version.”

Danni was grateful when Dinah stood up, which meant the conversation was over. He was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed - any bed. He wasn't so pleased to get back into the truck with Mikael, but he knew with Dinah around he was safe for the moment.

Mikael didn’t drive far, stopping at a featureless building at the edge of the colony. The building looked as if a child had taken metal blocks and clumsily glued them together. Again Mikael stayed in the truck - he flashed a wink in Danni’s direction as Danni hopped out into the snow - and together Danni, Everest, and Dinah filed in through the building's entry hatch. Passing several more entry hatches to what Danni assumed were other living quarters, they climbed the stairs to the second floor. Dark yellow light washed the walls, bleeding from caged light fixtures fastened into the corners of the ceiling.

“This is your place here,” Dinah said, coming to the hatch at the end of the hall. She pressed the button on the wall by the hatch and it slid open with a hiss of air. Inside was a moderate one room space with a bed, closet, tiny kitchen alcove with an old fashioned refrigerator and cabinets. Beside that was a hatch into the bathroom.

“Welcome to your new life,” said Dinah.

                            …

Everest walked through the door of the two room living quarters he shared with his father; already his mouth was watering from the smell of sauerkraut and sausage he’d detected in the hallway. His father stood at the stove, standing on his one good leg, and using a crutch while he stirred the vegetables and meat around in the skillet. He was singing along to Elvis on the record player.

“Hey son, sit down, sit down,” Steig Evreux said. He looked over his shoulder at Everest. “What you got there?”

“Just some things I picked up from the market.” Everest held up the other bag he held in his hand. “And a bottle of bootie.”

His father raised an eyebrow but said nothing, for which Everest was eternally grateful. He knew how his father felt about his drinking and didn’t need to have any more father-son discussions on the matter. His muscles ached as he sat down at the small table in between the stove and the threadbare couch where he slept - Steig kept insisting he take the bedroom since Everest was the one working and keeping a roof over their heads and food on the table, but Everest always declined. Everest hated what the cold was starting to do to his kneecaps. He was only in his late thirties and already he could feel the creaking presence of old age. Fortunately he kept his head shaved so he didn’t have to watch it turn grey and then salt-white like Steig’s was now.

Steig turned the stove off and reached up to the cabinets. Everest watched him open the cabinet and pull out plates. The plates trembled in his hand as he set them down on the counter. Everest bit back the offer of help. If he said the words his father would slice him with one side of his tongue, then the other. Evreux’s pride simply made it impossible for him to accept help. Everest knew because he, too, had it. So he sat, sipping the bottle of bootie; he didn’t offer the man any because he knew the old man wouldn’t accept. Steig hated alcohol. Drugs too, the medicinal kind included. He wouldn’t accept any painkillers after the accident at the processing center that had taken his leg. Even twenty years later Everest could remember laying in bed and listening to Steig moan as he gritted his teeth to keep from screaming in pain.

By the time Steig brought the food over to the table, steam rising from the plates, Everest’s face felt warm from the drink. The bootie pleasantly burned his throat going down. Everest grunted in satisfaction at the multiple spices he could taste: garlic, ginger, onion. Steig had always been a really good cook, where despite his father’s patient instructions, Everest could never master even the most basic culinary skills.

“What did Dinah have you do today? Or can you tell me?” Steig asked with a crafty glint in his dark brown eyes. Their eye color and body stature was the extent of what they had in common. Judging from the pictures Everest had seen of his mother, he looked like her, whose ancestry had been very Italian. Steig was one of the few parents who’d given a damn enough to try and teach Everest about his family, although it didn’t matter much. Both of Everest’s parents, like their parents, had been born on the planet. And just like his mother, who had died giving birth to him, Everest would die on this planet.

“We integrated the new prisoner. Danni’s his name.”

“Yes, the whole colony’s been buzzing about him nonstop and about the atypical way he was delivered. What’s he like?”

“Young. Maybe in his twenties. He’s very strange.”

Steig leaned forward, truly interested. “How so?”

“Quiet. Doesn’t say much.” Everest thought of the strange moment in the truck, when Danni had shaken Mikael’s hand: just for a second there had been a look of agony on his face, his eyes closing, as if an aching throb had passed through his head; and then quickly as it had appeared it was gone. A strange chill had gone up his spine then, and thinking about it again now made him shiver again. He couldn’t say what it was that made him feel so uneasy. He thought about telling Steig about it but then decided to leave it alone. Steig would only want him to ask more questions and Everest could already feel himself beginning to grow sleepy.

“You guys should get along fine,” Steig was saying. “I can hardly get a word out of you most of the time. What does your friend Mikael think of him?”

He said friend with obvious disgust. Everest knew his father despised Mikael as did most people. Sometimes Everest asked himself why he bothered associating with the man. The simple truth was simple: surviving and drinking. But there were times when he caught wind of Mikael’s carnal habits from someone else, usually a patron at the brothel. Rumor had it Mikael could be quite rough.

“He’s enamored with him.”

Steig grunted. “I’ll just bet he is. you should reach out to Danni, take him under yer wing.”

Everest snorted. “You say I should do this about every new birdy that gets dropped from the sky. You know what happens to people who are too kind to the weak...and you know what happens to those who are not strong enough to survive on the frozen ground.”

All of the good humor drained out of Steig’s face like air hissing out of an oxygen tank. “Yes, which is exactly why we all deserve to be stuck on this desolate planet. Well, I’m stuffed. I imagine you are very tired after the day you’ve had. I think I will retire to my room for now and let yer get some sleep.”

Everest watched through reddened eyes as his father, leaning on his crutches, went into his bedroom and closed the hatch behind him. Everest couldn’t overcome the feeling he’d said something wrong. He loved his father immensely for his loving, gentle spirit, but Everest couldn’t share his views as much as he wished he could. Planet Redemption is a dangerous place to live and only the strong survive; we find the weak raped and dead in the snow, he thought.

Still he felt the need to repent in some way. He hated seeing his father depressed. Part of it Everest knew, was loneliness. It pained his father to go out in the cold with his injury and it was difficult trying to traverse the rugged terrain, even with an electric wheelchair.

Everest stacked the plates, cups, pans, and utensils on the tabletop, and filled the sink with scalding hot water and a lake of suds. He washed the dishes, dried them, put them away, and drained the rest of the bootie before taking a comfortable position on the couch. When he closed his eyes he fell asleep almost immediately and dreamed of running his fingers through Danni’s blonde locks.