The Theocracy - The Blackened Cross - 35. Chapter 35

The part of Anderson that could still dream, dreamed of a white, gilded wedding. In it he wore an expensive tuxedo, his hair was combed back and he wore cologne. In this dream he could not hear Chagidiel's voice in his head. Heidi was there too. He recognized her by the color of her hair and the smell of her perfume, but her face was a mottled blur of flesh. When he leaned forward to kiss her she had no mouth.

He woke up tasting the salt of his own tears on his lips. He rested on an old threadbare twin mattress he'd rescued from an alleyway dumpster. He had a room to himself. He pondered his tears and tried to recall what grief was. The name "Heidi" remained on his lips like the aftertaste of something sweet. He'd known a Heidi once, hadn't he? He even recalled getting married. Was it to this woman in his dream? This woman without a face.

I had a job. A car. A camera, a really nice expensive camera. Something bad happened to it. Something bad happened to me while I had it…And I had a daughter but I can't remember her name or see her face.

These missing details plagued him, circling around inside his mind like a cyclone. He had to find out or it would drive him insane. He would have to be careful. He knew Kaufman and the Theocracy were looking for him.

His journey took him past a bridge - "the goose bridge" he'd always called it - to a two story house at the end of a cul de sac. He walked its halls and rooms, searching through the gloom and shadows for the wild and child he'd left behind.

He didn't find them.

Leonidas found him instead.

Anderson was sitting on the bed with the Dora the Explorer blankets when Leonidas entered the room. He walked better than a man with thirty years worth of muscle atrophy should.

"What are you doing here, hoss?" Leonidas demanded. He looked annoyed. "We got work that needs doing. The boss wants Kaufman."

Anderson shook his head in confusion. He held up a framed picture of the people who were supposed to be his family. "I used to know these people; I used to live with these people. I used to love them. Yet when I try to think of them all I can't remember anything about them. I'm looking at strangers."

"That's the price of being an Incarnate," Leonidas sniffed. "It doesn't come free. Nuthin in life ever comes free. To become the Incarnate of a god you have to pay the ultimate price: Yourself."

Anderson put the frame facedown on the mattress. He looked up at the strange man standing in the doorway of his daughter's room. All the lights in the house were out. The only visibility to be had came from the pool of piss-yellow light streaming through the window from a nearby street lamp. "What's happening to me?"

Leonidas cocked his head to the side. He looked at Anderson through slitted eyes as if assessing him. Always watching, always thinking, always testing. He had the mind of the worst kind of predator. "You're dying," he said at last. "Not in the literal sense. Not your heart or your body. Those will keep on ticking long after you're gone. Your mind, your soul, your self is what's dying. You're being brushed aside for someone else."

"Who?"

"Who do you think?"

"The boss."

Leonidas grinned. "Bingo." His head snapped around. "What was that?"

Anderson stopped, listening. He listened to the sound of the front door opening. Someone was coming inside the house. Anderson was off the bed in an instant. He gestured wildly at Leonidas to get in the closet. Leonidas' wolf grin remained fixed in place. Before he could make it completely out of the room, Anderson stepped up beside him.

It wasn’t hard to drag him back into the closet where he capped a hand over Leonidas’ mouth. He hated the feel of the man’s cool, slimy unwashed breath against his hand, but his heart was pounding in his chest and his blood was firing in his veins as he tried to understand why his body was having these reactions.

A light in the house flicked on somewhere downstairs. The sound of footsteps on the steps. An instant later the red haired woman from his dreams was standing so close to him he could smell her perfume; the same perfume from his dreams. He could reach out and touch her if he wanted to.

Anderson and Leonidas watched her with bated breath through a thin crack in the door. Anderson could hear the rapidity of the woman's breathing - Heidi, he reminded himself, her name is Heidi. She was in a rush to grab what she needed and then head out. Was she afraid? Could she remember him the way he couldn't quite completely remember her? Would it scare her if he stepped out of the closet and said hello? He couldn't do this with Leonidas in tow. The man radiated anger. His body literally vibrated with it.

The woman was in the middle of rifling through the doors, stuffing clothes into the duffel bag shoulder-strapped to her. She scattered shirts, socks, and diapers on the floor in her wake. At last she turned so Anderson had the perfect view of her face. She had pretty eyes, a small nose that sat perfectly in the center of her face, and full perfectly proportioned lips. Once I looked into this woman's face and I knew exactly who she was, Anderson thought. What got him most was her eyes. They were red and puffy from crying.

Were they red and puffy from crying over him? He hoped so.

She moved as if to step towards the closet.

Leonidas tensed in the dark. His eyes remained fastened on Anderson's face, trying to burn him with cold fire. Anderson paid him little attention. Most of his attention was focused on the other side of the foldable doors.

Something silver flashed in the dark.

The woman stopped as if she'd seen it. She froze, directly staring at the closet door. Through it, directly into Anderson's eyes.

The cold steel of a razor blade glinted in Leonidas' hand. Anderson knew that if Heidi opened the door, Leonidas would slit her throat. Anderson wouldn't let that happen. He looped his fingers around Leonidas' palm, restraining him. She's mine, not yours, Anderson tried to tell Leonidas with his mind. You will not touch her.

Something cold and scaly slithered into his mind like a snake. Another person. Leonidas. The sound of his wheezy voice inside his head sent shockwaves of revulsion through Anderson's mind: She's a problem. All she's going to do is distract you.

Anderson felt cold sweat break out of his pores. He didn't want to have a mutual telepathic connection with this man; he didn't want to feel this man crawling around inside his mind. You'll keep your hands off her.

He felt Leonidas' mouth curve against his palm in a defiant sneer. What are you going to do if I don't?

Anderson opened his eyes. He had to bite his lip to keep from groaning with relief. Heidi was backing away from the closet. He watched her walk out of the room. In his mind he bode her a final good bye. This part of his life was over. It was time to give it to a higher power.

Like a coil springing free, Leonidas jumped to his feet. He burst out of the closet in an explosion of fury; the blade of the razor still flashed in his hand like an icy star. He whirled around on Anderson, jamming a spidery finger in his face. "If you ever do that to me again, I will fucking kill you. I will slit your throat wide open with this blade and watch all the blood pour from your body."

Anderson stared back at him blankly. He did not feel threatened by Anderson's rage; now that Heidi was out of sight he didn't feel much of anything. You can't kill me, he sent to Leonidas. I've done what you could not. If it wasn't for me, you would still be stuck in a coma, slowly rotting away. I'm irreplaceable.

The man with the razor in his hand answered with another sneer. Psychopathy gleamed in his pale blue eyes. Everyone is irreplaceable. Even you.

                                …

A ringing sound in the dark. The rattle of his phone vibrating against something solid. Someone was calling him, probably wanting him to save the day. Tonight is not the night. Tonight I need saving.

Somehow Vanus managed to fold himself into a sitting position. He scrabbled blindly for his phone with only the neon green light of the alarm clock to guide him. The phone rested face down on the table. His throat felt dry. His face smarted from where Anderson and Leonidas had done a number on him.

Instead of saying, This had better be good, he answered with a raspy, "Hello?"

"Hello…Mr. Kaufman," a familiar voice said hesitantly. "This is Heidi Anderson. I'm sorry if I woke you, but I really need to talk to you. I really need your help."

Vanus didn't feel his mind switch over to business mode, it was automatic. "Mrs

Anderson, yes. What can I do for you? How can I help?"

She let out a strong, shaky exhale. He could tell she'd been crying. "I was at the house. I know I'm not supposed to go but I wanted to grab some things. Mostly just clothes for Little Annie."

"Did someone follow you?"

"Follow me? No. I checked the rearview mirror every second of the way…"

Vanus didn't have the heart to tell her that the foes stalking her did not need to travel by mortal means.

The line crackled insistently in his ear. "But there was someone there. He was there, Brad, I know he was. I didn't see him, but I know my husband Mr. Kaufman. I don't need to be a psychic to know he was in the house when I was."

"Did he reach out to you?"

"No."

Lionel let out the breath he'd been holding.

"You sound relieved," said Heidi. "Would you mind telling me why?"

"Because as much as it pains me to say it, I want to remind you he is not your husband anymore. He has been possessed by a very powerful being. I'm afraid I was too late. I couldn't get to him in enough time to disrupt the transformation."

"You always are," she said in a dead voice.

Vanus felt his heart halt in his chest. "I'm always what?"

"You're always too late. You were too late saving that poor Astorathian girl from the Butcher and now you're going to be too late for my daughter and I." She was on the verge of tears again.

"No!" he almost shouted into the phone. "No, no, no, I would never let anything happen to you or your daughter."

"Then help us," she pleaded. "My daughter and I have been staying at my parents' house. They're in Florida for the rest of the season, so they don't even know what's going on, but we're just here sitting ducks, and I have the feeling something bad is going to happen to the both of us. Something really bad."

"Okay," he heard himself say. He made himself get up even as every muscle in his body cried out in pain. But at the moment this woman's pain was greater than his own. He could feel her transferring it to him through the wires. Her life has been transfigured by the will of the death angel. Who knows how many lives has been changed by the actions of her husband? "Where are you? I can also send patrols to monitor your home…"

"No, no, no," Heidi said quickly. "I appreciate the offer, but I don't want to confuse my daughter anymore than she already is. But if you could come that would be just fine."

She gave him the address. He wrote it down on a notepad and typed it on Google Maps. He told her he would be on his way soon.

It was time to go save the world again.