Sebastian - 4. Chapter 4

I knew those words would be followed by a fist. Either to my gut or kidneys, depending on the way I was facing. So I scrambled out of bed as fast as I could, making way for my brother Pablo to get out.

The feeling of the cold dirt floor on my feet always sent a shock wave up my body. It left me feeling like my nuts had been shoved back up inside. I scrambled madly in the dark for my shoes. They weren’t much but they did offer some protection from the cold.

I hated sleeping with my brothers. They were both older than me and made me sleep on the outside edge, where the cold would be felt more fiercely. It also meant I had to get up as soon as they did so I didn’t get in the way of their morning piss.

“Shut the fuck up,” roared my dad from behind the blanket that separated the small hut into two rooms “shit I could have slept for 20 more minutes if it wasn’t for you, you little piss ant.”

Tears of frustration found their way to my eyes. I wasn’t the one who’d made all the noise, but I was always the one to get the blame. I knew better than to say anything though, the last time I did dad smacked me so hard I couldn’t see anything but stars for close to half an hour. And to top it off, both Pablo and Jorge had added their say with a fist to the gut.

Dad, Pablo and Jorge all worked out in the tea fields. It was brutal work and the pay was for shit. They all started when they were 14 and were royally pissed at me, just because I hadn’t hit my growth spurt and was too scrawny to work in the fields. It wasn’t my fault mom had fucked her boss and had me. It wasn’t my fault that they were dark haired and I was blonde. It wasn’t my fault they were built big and I wasn’t. It wasn’t my fault that the government had ceded all this land to the Pollock’s, Ukraine’s and ex Nazi’s at the end of World War 2. And it wasn’t my fault that the Pollock’s had all the money and they had none. So if none of this was my fault why the fuck did they have to take it out on me?

I don’t know why I even think about it. The same thoughts have roamed my mind for most of the last 14 years, nothing’s changed and nothing ever will. I’d just have to keep trudging along until I could get away from them or until I got hit by a truck, either way I would be free.

Dad lit a candle on the other side of the curtain. And I scrambled to find my clothes. If I wasn’t out selling papers by 5 am there would be hell to pay. I grabbed the set of clothes I had that wasn’t out hanging on the line to dry. I’d be able to wear those ones in another 3 or 4 days if the weather cleared up a bit. I pulled my sweats on being careful not to snag my toes on the holes in the knee, they were already big enough, and I didn’t need them bigger. I put on the socks I’d worn for the last 5 days, they were getting hard to put on, and they scraped my calves as I pulled them up. One of them had a big hole that let my big toe hang out. The other one had a hole in the ankle. I tried to switch feet every day so the same toe wasn’t cold all the time. I pulled the old sweater that didn’t quite fit me anymore over my head, and tried to line the holes up so they didn’t match the holes in my t-shirt. It got really cold if that happened.

Seeing moms shadow behind the curtain I knew time was short. I grabbed my coat and fled the house as fast as I could. It wasn’t hard to leave. It was just a wooden door without a lock. I carefully laid the door back in its place and turned to look around me. The winter mist that was more moisture than fog had settled in hard this morning leaving the streets muddy and slippery. I’d have to be careful where I walked today. The red dirt that’s given distinction to our corner of Argentina was pretty when it was dry but when it was wet it was like glue. It clung to everything. Mom hated having to wash clothes that were covered in that grime. Bringing home something like that for her to wash was sure to earn a backhand upside the head. But only if it was me, if the workers came home with dirty clothes that was just part of the job.

I trod carefully along the side of the street where some vegetation grew. I had fled without eating breakfast so I had a little extra time before I had to pick up the papers that I would try to sell that morning. I reached the point of the road where the dirt ended and the cobblestone began. I breathed a little easier. I really didn’t give a fuck about whether my pants got dirty or not, but I really didn’t want to deal with “those people” today.

I’m not sure when I started referring to my family as “those people.” But I think it had something to do with a lesson I’d been taught in 4th grade. The lesson was about families and the teacher made it seem like a family should be some sort of loving unit or some bullshit like that. Mine never was so I decided we weren’t really a family and they became “those people.”

I had a lot of time to think while I walked around with the newspapers. I kept my head down to watch for mud, and let my mind roam wherever it wanted. I reached the newspaper distribution point, picked up a stack and off I went.

I tried to vary my route, I had a certain area to cover, but I know how much people hated being woken up by someone shouting “newspaper” at that time of morning. Several times someone would come out on their porch and throw something at me, bitching at me for being too loud. And it’s those same bastards that complained to my boss if they didn’t have an opportunity to get the paper in the morning.

That morning I headed up to the nicer area of my route. I tried to avoid going there first as much as possible but I tended to sell more papers there. And the sooner I got done and out of this drizzle the sooner I could get home. I loved going home after my paper route. The “men” were all gone to work in the fields, and mom was off at her job. She worked as a maid for one of the Pollock families. I’ve never met her boss but someday I’d like to see him. He is my real father after all. With everyone gone to work I could go home and take a nap. I had the bed to myself. I didn’t have to worry about which one of them was going to smack me. It was the only time of day I felt safe.

I shuffled up the street shouting out the occasional.

“Diario, DiariOooo.

I would glance around to see if anybody was around that might want a paper. Mostly they just yelled to me but sometimes they were busy talking to a neighbor or something and just waved me over. I hated when they did that. They’d grab the paper out of my hands and drop the 50 cents assuming I’d be able to grab it. Half the time I had to crawl around looking for the coins, while they looked down their noses at me like I carried the plague.

For each paper I sold I received 5 cents. They gave me 40 papers to sell in a day. That left me with a whopping 2 pesos to take home. If I sold them all that is. I tried hard to sell them all. My dad didn’t like it when I didn’t contribute as much as he thought I should. I hated giving him the money. Most of it went for cigarettes and beer anyway. The least they could have done was make sure I had something to eat every day. But I guess I wasn’t as important as the booze and smokes were.

Although the weather was lousy it turned out to be a good day to sell papers. I was down to 5 when I happened across a boy who looked my age standing there looking at me.

“Do you want a paper?”

“I don’t speak Spanish” and he shoved a couple of pesos at me.

I reached up to sweep my bangs out of my eyes so I could see him better. He didn’t look like he belonged here. He was wearing clothes like I’d never seen before. And his coat looked thick and warm. But at the same time he was still shivering, weird. He had coal black, wavy hair. And his eyes, they were the lightest blue I’d ever seen on someone. I couldn’t understand what he was doing here. He obviously didn’t belong.

I was feeling a little mischievous this morning, and was ready for someone else to be at the receiving end. And since it was obvious he didn’t speak Spanish I decided to have a little fun. I couldn’t keep the shit eating grin off my face.

“Suck my dick” I told him.

He just looked at me with confusion evident in his eyes. For some reason it cracked me up. It wasn’t really that funny but the look on his face was priceless. I’d had enough fun with him so I handed him his paper and tried to give him his change. He refused and I wasn’t about to insist. A dollar fifty tip on a fifty cent newspaper was more than I would ever see again.

It was when I realized I’d probably have to turn it over to “those people,” my shoulders slumped, and I turned and trudged away. I heard someone yell to the boy but I didn’t understand a word they were saying.

Thirty minutes later I’d sold all the papers. My stomach was pissed at me for skipping another meal. Fuck it I used the buck fifty to buy me a small breakfast then went home to nap. I was more content at that moment than I’d been in a long time.

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