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This book belongs to Cole

“Remember what brother and cousin would say,” Cynthia reminded me.

The curse, my brother and cousin told me all the time, it was something that the three of us had. Straight men wanted us, they had to have us, and they would do anything to get us. Some would see this as a gift and at this point of my life I did too.

In life we learn the men who would come into our lives may have other motives. Funny how in a time as today, you would think men would be comfortable with their sexuality. So why are there so many men on the Down Low? Or on the DL, as others would say. This has now become a game for some men. They want to be able to live their lives, but still fulfill that fantasy of being with a man. Is it just sex? Or do they secretly want more?

You will see that no matter the cost these men will cheat, lie, and sneak around just to have that moment. As time begins to pass the game becomes different, no longer just a hook up, or a conquest, but soon the heart will get involved.

“You just have to remember to have fun with these DL guys and never let them have your feelings.” Emmy would remind me.

You can’t call it love, but there is no other way to explain it.

“You know Cole,” Aubrey said “there may be a small, a very small chance something works out, I just don’t want you holding out for that.”

The DL Diaries takes you on a journey of different men and their different reasons to living life on the DL. Most times you will never know these men are living a double life, but in this diary we see that from coast to coast it’s all the same game, the same curse.

“So are these guys gay?” Gina asked more confused than I was.

Soon one man may come into your life and all guards will fall, but only time will tell if this can be anything more than just another chapter in the DL Diaries…..

Entries in this blog

Dating Bi-Curious Men “Love”

Love, we all believe in it and hope one day to find it. While growing up we will learn many different types of love, from your family, the love of a friend and of course the love someone special gives you. In stories we are told that one day you will find the one and all will begin to fall into place, as if there really is just one person that will come sweep you off your feet? This often leading you to believe that out there only one person will ever love you fully.   So why is it whe
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Dating Bi-Curious Men (Secrets)

Secrets, we all have them and for some reason we feel obligated to keep them. Even after the friendship has ended or the trust has been broken. I guess we always hold on to that little hope that we may go back to what once was. With friends we often hold all their secrets as they hold ours, only what happens if you become the secret? What if you are now the thing they must be kept hidden? At times we never stop and think about that, its always the secrets we hold. What of the other person? So as
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Dating Bi-Curious Men “Bro”

Friends there isn’t anything you wouldn’t do for them. When growing up they become your second family, in fact they can be the people you count on the most. If you look back we all had that one friend that you could never say no too. In most cases it’s someone of the same sex, only being a gay man it can be a girl. Now for me I always had that one guy friend as well. You know the one friend you knew you had each other’s backs, yet sometimes you had to question how far the friendship would go?
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Dating Bi-Curious Men “Mess”

Ask yourself this, what does closure mean to you? As we saw before some questions can be left unanswered while some feelings may be left unspoken. When we part ways with another person, no matter the reasoning we will always be stuck in our heads wondering what we did, or how could this have played out differently, right? In most cases the best thing to do is let it go and move on. Only we have feelings, even if you try to hide them, they are still there. There will come a time we can no longer
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Dating Bi-Curious Men (G)

Curiosity killed the cat they use to say, but what about everything else? Maybe as humans we are left to wonder as to how far we’d let curiosity take us. Growing up we often just went with the flow yet as adults we stop and think of the consequences. This usually helped to make a decision. Then there’s that time in your life when you always gave into curiosity and figured you’d deal with the outcome later.   That always makes me think about life and the things we would do. If you knew
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Dating Bi-Curious Men "X"

Relationships, what really defies one? When you meet someone you both decide to form a union between the two of you. It is a commitment that no one else will come between, but when two friends of the same sex create this what does it really mean? While growing up we are brain washed to believe it will have to be between a man and a woman, but what if those men secretly like men? You know the down low or bi-curious men. Can they truly have a relationship with another man? Maybe seeing it as a bro
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Dating Bi-Curious Men "Husband"

Dating, we all think it’s going to be easy. When growing up we are told we would meet “the one” that would sweep us off our feet. Once you’ve met that person you would just know and everything would work out. TV and movies lead us to believe that no matter the obstacle we all would get that happy ending. As if all you really need is love? No one ever stops to consider who it may be you fall for. Every person has a different story, some stories that may remain a secret. In some cases you meet tha
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The DL Diaries 2007

This book belongs to Cole:   2007   Standing at the airport in New York. I watched all the other people grabbing cabs, meeting with friends, or others like me excited for what new adventures this place had to offer. It was still so crazy that after only visiting once I moved here. I really had no idea what I was getting myself into. There was no going back now. I had said good bye to my life in Portland, now ahead of me stood my next chapter. Nothing was going to hold me back
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The DL Diaries 2007

This book belongs to Cole:   2007   Things were starting to look like I had made a decision, it was my weekend off which was much needed. Since most of us were off we had decided to plan a fun night out of drinking and dancing. It was still pretty early in the day so I decided to just hang and rest. Out of nowhere I received a text from X. I didn’t respond so within ten minutes he was calling me. “What do you want?” I felt no need to be nice to him nor did I have any reason
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The DL Diaries 2006

This book belongs to Cole:   2006   Things with my living situation had changed. At this time only Skyler and I were living in the house. It was nice since now I had two rooms, one was my sleeping room while the other was my chill room. Kitty had moved out with her current boyfriend. He had been a not so nice guy to me and Skylar, but when she decided to move we still supported her. The good part about it being just me and Skyler was I had more privacy. Skyler was going back
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The DL Diaries 2003

This book belongs to Cole:   2003   Once I graduated from high school I made the move from a small town to the city of Portland, Oregon. I have to admit at first I was scared and very nervous. It was hard to leave the life I had known for eighteen years. Only soon things would start to fall into place and I was more than excited. I had a feeling that my life was now starting to make some sort of sense. The first few days I kept my guard up. You have to when making a huge life
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